Chapter 32
Pei Zhi did not answer for a long time.
Among the people present, was there anyone he liked?
This question was not difficult to answer. From the perspective of the game, Su Nan did not really seem to be making things hard for Pei Zhi. People had asked questions with far more edge to them, much more provocative ones. A broad question like this was no different from asking whether he had eaten today.
Even if Pei Zhi really did have someone he liked and lied by saying no, no one would have doubted the truth of his answer. After all, only he himself knew what the real answer was.
His silence now, however, seemed rather strange.
Even though he gave no answer, his silence itself was the answer.
If there was no one present that Pei Zhi liked, he could simply have said no. Even if there was someone, but he did not want to admit it, he also could have just said no.
Trying so hard to cover it up only made it more obvious.
Among the people present, there was someone Pei Zhi liked.
Everyone looked as though they had swallowed explosives, their faces filled with shock and disbelief. They stared at Pei Zhi’s dark and brooding face, wanting to gossip but not daring to, their faces practically turning red from holding it in.
Seeing Xie Ning walking this way, Su Nan added fuel to the fire. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“What does it have to do with you?” Pei Zhi’s voice was cold, and the look he gave Su Nan was icy.
Pei Zhi suddenly stood up and picked up an unopened bottle of alcohol from in front of Su Nan.
The tight lines of muscle in his arm stood out vividly with the motion. The veins on the back of his hand were taut, like emotions stretched to the breaking point. Under the dim, intoxicating lights, Pei Zhi looked like a vicious dog that might pounce and tear someone apart at any moment.
Su Nan’s face turned deathly pale. Had Pei Zhi gone mad? Was he really going to lay hands on him in front of all these people?
He hurriedly stepped back twice, only to realize that Pei Zhi merely opened the bottle one-handed, then tilted his head back and gulped down a large mouthful.
His Adam’s apple bobbed repeatedly as he swallowed. Golden liquor seeped from the corner of his lips and slid past his prominent throat.
Pei Zhi would rather take the drinking penalty than lie.
The scent of alcohol spread through the air. Amid the lingering, ambiguous music, the approaching footsteps also came to a halt.
After drinking more than half the bottle, Pei Zhi tossed it at Su Nan’s feet, where it shattered with a frightening crash.
Ignoring the startled and fearful looks around him, he casually wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Looking down at Su Nan from above, he seemed to be staring at an ant he could crush whenever he pleased.
“Do you think you’re worthy of knowing?”
Vicious and arrogant, contemptuous and overbearing—yet on that handsome, cold face of his, it somehow came off as especially sexy.
Su Nan’s pale face flushed bright red with humiliation. The gazes directed at him from all around felt burning hot. He cared deeply about his pride; otherwise he would not have held such a grudge against Pei Zhi for so long.
Pei Zhi had said to his face, in front of everyone, that he was unworthy—and he could not say a single word in rebuttal.
He really had been frightened just now. He believed that if Xie Ning had not been present, Pei Zhi really might have killed him.
No one dared speak anymore.
And even less did anyone dare bring up continuing the game. The atmosphere, which had only just been livened up, dropped straight to freezing point.
By the time Xie Ning stopped walking over, Pei Zhi had already finished his drinking penalty.
Anyone who lost the game could refuse to cooperate, but they had to drink as punishment—a glass of strong liquor. Pei Zhi’s punishment had clearly gone beyond the set amount, yet even so, his expression still looked calm, as though the alcohol had not clouded his mind at all.
The moment he saw Xie Ning, Pei Zhi changed his face at once. The man who had looked fierce and savage just moments ago softened instantly around the eyes.
He moved aside a little to let Xie Ning sit on the inside. It was warm in the private room, so he thoughtfully untied the scarf for him and draped it over Xie Ning’s lap.
“Was it cold outside?”
“It was alright.”
Pei Zhi lightly touched the back of his hand to Xie Ning’s forehead. It was cool to the touch.
He took an empty cup, wiped it over and over again, then poured warm water into it. After checking the temperature several times with his palm, the back of his hand, and his wrist, he finally held it to Xie Ning’s lips, seeming as though he wanted to feed him personally.
Compared with the Pei Zhi from just now—bristling with hostility, making no attempt to hide his terrible temper—this version of him looked practically like an eager lackey.
Sitting there, Xie Ning had originally thought Pei Zhi must be in a terrible mood. But now it seemed Pei Zhi’s mood might actually be better than he had imagined?
He took a sip of water and asked, “Do you want some too?”
Xie Ning was trying to ease the atmosphere, breaking the silence.
“Okay,” Pei Zhi said.
Then he drank the remaining half cup of water that Xie Ning had left.
Xie Ning: “…”
What he had meant was for Pei Zhi to pour himself another cup, not to drink his.
But since he had already drunk it, forget it.
The onlookers were dumbfounded.
Wasn’t Pei Zhi someone who… never used things other people had used?
His territorial instincts were strong. He never shared personal items with others. During training, people often borrowed each other’s protective gear or drank from the same bottle of water, but he could not stand that. If someone accidentally used his things, he would throw them away immediately.
That was why many people thought he did not fit in and was hard to get along with.
To Pei Zhi, what was his was his. No one else was allowed to touch it.
Xie Ning and Pei Zhi left soon after. After what had just happened, even if Pei Zhi stayed, the atmosphere could not recover, so it was better to leave early.
Xie Ning did not particularly care whether he stayed or went. He had never liked this kind of setting very much anyway. As for Pei Zhi, he could not wait to leave. Xie Ning kept a regular schedule, sleeping early and getting up early, so he ought to go back and rest sooner.
They simply had a light dinner that also doubled as a late-night meal at the hotel. On the way back, Pei Zhi was much quieter than usual. Unlike before, he did not cling to Xie Ning, nor did he ask to hold hands or hug.
Still, Xie Ning could clearly sense that Pei Zhi’s gaze kept drifting toward him from time to time.
[I really want to hold hands… but I can’t. Hold it in.]
[Hold it in. Hold it in.]
Xie Ning found it rather novel.
Not long ago, Pei Zhi had still been saying he wanted to sleep while hugging him and hold his hand. If Xie Ning so much as went to the restroom, Pei Zhi would follow right behind just for the sake of getting a hug. And now that same Pei Zhi was telling himself to restrain it?
Could it really be that he had changed this much because he had someone he liked?
Xie Ning had heard everything clearly just now, and had roughly guessed that among the people present, there might really be someone Pei Zhi liked.
He rarely felt curious about such things, but now he was a little curious.
Did such a person really exist? And who was it?
Curious as he was, however, he still had a strong sense of boundaries. He was not the person involved. If Pei Zhi did not say it himself, Xie Ning would not ask.
That was Pei Zhi’s privacy.
…
After dinner, they took a short walk. When they returned to the room, Pei Zhi showered first, then Xie Ning.
The bathroom was filled with the soft, continuous sound of running water. Pei Zhi lay on the bed with one arm under his head, staring blankly at the ceiling, lost in thought.
When the water stopped, everything around him suddenly became very quiet—quiet enough that he could clearly hear the faint rustle of clothing as Xie Ning got dressed.
His thoughts drifted further and further until, upon hearing the tiny click of a cabinet door opening, he suddenly snapped back to himself and swiftly rolled out of bed.
Xie Ning had just finished showering. His slender frame looked especially delicate in the lingering mist.
His skin had been steamed into a tempting peach-blossom pink by the hot water. His lips and eyes were both red. And because they were standing so close, Pei Zhi could even smell the scent coming from his body.
Xie Ning was toweling his hair dry. As he raised his arms, the hem of his sleepwear lifted a little, faintly revealing a slim waist that looked as though it could be grasped in one hand.
“I’ll dry it for you.” Pei Zhi walked over. He was tall; standing behind Xie Ning, he only had to lift an arm lightly to take the hair dryer.
Xie Ning gave a quiet response. He truly did not like drying his hair much.
In the hazy reflection of the mirror, he was boxed in by Pei Zhi at the sink. The enormous difference in height and size gave him the odd illusion of being caged in.
Xie Ning lowered his head slightly and looked at his phone, replying to messages he had not finished yet. His academic advisor had asked to meet him at three o’clock the following afternoon. The department was preparing to hold a competition, and the advisor hoped he could serve as a judge, so the meeting would be to discuss the details.
Xie Ning replied with a “Received,” then switched chat windows. Xie Yan had sent him several flight options and asked him to choose a time.
“Are you going abroad to have fun?” Pei Zhi suddenly asked from behind him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to look. I just happened to see it by accident.”
At Pei Zhi’s height, it was too easy for him to catch sight of things. Xie Ning said, “Yes. My mom wants me to go back for Christmas.”
Although Xie Yan wanted to invite Pei Zhi to come home with him for Christmas, Xie Ning had no such plan. To him, that would be a little too presumptuous. Going somewhere within the city or province would have been one thing, but this was going abroad.
After thinking for a moment, Xie Ning still asked, “Do you want to come too?”
[This soon?]
[Are we already meeting the parents this soon?]
[I’m not mentally prepared yet… Should I bring a gift? What are you supposed to bring when meeting someone’s parents? I can’t let Uncle and Auntie think I’m rude…]
“Me?” Pei Zhi’s expression instantly tensed. “I…”
Suddenly, Xie Ning let out a soft hum.
“Sorry, I got distracted just now. Did I hurt you with the dryer?” Pei Zhi hurriedly set the hair dryer down, bent over, lowered his head, and cupped Xie Ning’s face.
“No, it’s not too hot.” The air from the dryer was not hot. It was only that when Pei Zhi’s fingers passed through his hair, he had used a little too much force, brushing his scalp.
Pei Zhi was still not reassured.
He lifted Xie Ning up and set him on the sink counter. In the warm, dim lighting, Xie Ning’s skin had a fine, delicate glow to it.
Sitting on the counter, Xie Ning had his knees nudged apart by Pei Zhi’s leg, so they naturally spread open. His hands rested awkwardly at his sides for support as he tilted his head back to look at Pei Zhi.
That cold, refined face showed little emotion, yet was so alluring it was almost excessive.
Pei Zhi’s heartbeat quickened. He reached out and carefully brushed Xie Ning’s hair aside. “Let me see.”
His movements were extremely cautious, and he examined him with utmost care, as though Xie Ning had suffered some terribly serious injury. This tendency of Pei Zhi’s to make a mountain out of a molehill left Xie Ning rather helpless. “I’m really fine.”
“There’s no redness, and no wound either,” Pei Zhi muttered to himself. “So it probably isn’t serious.”
Even after confirming there was no burn, Pei Zhi still felt deeply guilty. He had actually made such a low-level mistake. There was a small patch on Xie Ning’s scalp that looked slightly different from the surrounding area, faintly pink in color.
His gaze darkened. With his fingertips, he gently stroked that spot, then lowered his head and softly blew on it. The care he took made it seem as though Xie Ning were some fragile treasure.
“It really isn’t that serious. I’m not that delicate,” Xie Ning said.
As he kept blowing on it, Pei Zhi replied, “Mm.”
[You are.]
Xie Ning had noticed that many things he thought were trivial would, once they involved him, become matters of great importance in Pei Zhi’s eyes—things that must not be treated carelessly.
“Alright, stop blowing on it.” Xie Ning turned his head slightly. This kind of skin-to-skin contact… it felt itchy, and also gave him a strangely pleasant sensation. “Is my hair dry?”
“Almost,” Pei Zhi said. “The ends are still a little damp. I’ll finish drying it.”
“Okay,” Xie Ning said.
He did not bring up Christmas again. To him, if he had asked once and the other person had not responded, that was already a polite refusal in disguise.
He would not ask a second time.
Just as Xie Ning assumed the topic had passed, Pei Zhi said while running a hand over the ends of his hair, “When are we going? I’ll buy the ticket right now.”
Xie Ning froze for a moment. He had thought Pei Zhi did not want to go. “No need. My mom will book it. You just need to send me some information. Do you have a visa for Country A?”
“Yes,” Pei Zhi replied immediately. Then he added, “And even if I didn’t, I’d still rush to get one so I could spend Christmas with you.”
That was not really what this was.
The way Pei Zhi put it made it sound as though they were going abroad specifically to spend Christmas together—like a date.
The corners of Xie Ning’s lips lifted slightly. “It might not get approved that quickly.”
A visa for Country A was not easy to get, and the waiting time was often long. Pei Zhi said, “I have my ways.”
[Wherever my wife goes, I go.]
[I’m my wife’s little tail.]
Xie Ning slightly raised his head and teased, “Young Master Pei is that capable?”
Xie Ning rarely used this sort of teasing tone. His voice was usually clear and cool, but now it carried a trace of lazy amusement.
It was as though, in a room battered by wind and snow, he sat beside a burning fireplace draped in a velvet blanket, lightly beckoning to Pei Zhi.
The hair dryer was set back in place. A moment later, Xie Ning’s waist tightened, and he was almost hoisted and carried straight onto the bed.
His back had barely touched the mattress when a dark figure followed close behind. Bracing himself above him, Pei Zhi looked down at him with deep black eyes that seemed to burn with heat.
The two held each other’s gaze for only an instant. Xie Ning’s eyes were too clean, too open in the way they let themselves be examined. Pei Zhi was the first to give in.
He lowered his head and buried his face in the crook of Xie Ning’s neck, revealing ears red to the tips.
The very same Pei Zhi who had been insisting all day that he needed to restrain himself from getting close to Xie Ning… had started all over again.
Soft, delicate skin. A faint fragrance curling at the tip of his nose. The restlessness Pei Zhi had suppressed for the entire day was like the surface of a lake during the rainy season, never settling. But in this single instant, all his emotions were soothed, leaving him full and intoxicated.
Pei Zhi despised himself. Could he really not hold back even this much? He clearly knew he liked Xie Ning, so how could he still keep getting this close to him so recklessly?
But what else could he do?
He truly could not control it. He could not stop himself from drawing near to Xie Ning, just as he had unknowingly handed over his heart long before he ever realized it.
Pei Zhi thought that perhaps he really did have skin hunger.
A kind of skin hunger that existed only toward Xie Ning.
This clingy version of Pei Zhi seemed more like the Pei Zhi Xie Ning remembered, so Xie Ning did not react much. He only noticed that Pei Zhi’s actions seemed somewhat restrained—not as enthusiastic in rubbing against him as before.
As though he were suppressing some instinct?
Before, Pei Zhi would nuzzle his neck. Now he was rubbing against his hair instead. The hairstyle Pei Zhi had just carefully arranged was already messed up again, with a few strands on top sticking up wildly.
Xie Ning could neither dodge nor escape, so he could only try to divert Pei Zhi’s attention. “I think I left my phone in the bathroom. Could you get it for me?”
Pei Zhi’s movements paused.
Propping himself up, he lifted his head. In his dark pupils was reflected a face faintly flushed pink.
Xie Ning raised a hand and lightly stroked Pei Zhi’s cheek. “Will you?”
Pei Zhi lowered his straight lashes. His sharp, deep-set features softened into a look of sated satisfaction.
He gave a quiet “Mm,” then clasped Xie Ning’s wrist in one large hand. His black hair fell messily over his forehead. Lowering his head to the side, he rubbed the tip of his nose against Xie Ning’s palm.
“Wait for me.”
Xie Ning’s phone had been squeezed into the corner of the sink, visible the moment Pei Zhi entered the bathroom. Just then, the screen lit up, showing a green app icon.
Someone had sent Xie Ning many WeChat messages in a row.
Pei Zhi’s brows slowly drew together. He felt inexplicably irritated and displeased. Who was messaging Xie Ning so late at night? Did they have no sense of boundaries at all?
Did they not know that this would disturb Xie Ning’s rest?
If it was family, then fine—he would say nothing.
When Xie Ning took the phone back, the screen unlocked automatically by facial recognition. His finger accidentally tapped into a voice message.
“Xie Ning, I would really treat you well…” The familiar voice made both Xie Ning and Pei Zhi pause for a moment. Xie Ning hurriedly exited WeChat, but right after that, Pei Zhi pressed close again.
With a light push, Xie Ning was pressed back down in place. Pei Zhi braced himself over him. “Are you still in contact with him?”
The person he meant was Shen Ye. He would recognize that voice anywhere. And with that bootlicking tone, who else could it possibly be?
Before Xie Ning could answer, Pei Zhi could not hold back the malice in his tone. “Doesn’t he have anything better to do in the middle of the night? Messaging you to harass you like this—is that the kind of manners a university student should have?”
“No,” Xie Ning said. “We’re not in contact.”
What puzzled him more was… He lifted his long lashes uncertainly and asked in a small voice, “Are you angry?”
Around Xie Ning, Pei Zhi rarely got angry. Even though his face always looked perpetually impatient and cold, Xie Ning knew that Pei Zhi was actually rarely angry. Most of the time, that exterior was just a shell he used to avoid socializing.
Just now was the first time Xie Ning had truly felt Pei Zhi getting angry.
And it was also the first time he had heard Pei Zhi speak badly of someone.
Pei Zhi’s expression stiffened slightly. He did not want Xie Ning to think he was petty. In truth, he was not angry—he simply disliked Shen Ye.
“I’m not angry,” Pei Zhi said. “I just think he disturbed your sleep. And you already rejected him clearly, so for him to keep pestering you like this is wrong.”
“The moment you rejected him, he should have stopped bothering you, instead of clinging to you like this.”
Xie Ning very much agreed. “Being pestered like that really is a headache.”
He unlocked his phone again. He had already muted Shen Ye’s messages. He hesitated over whether to delete him entirely, but the two of them had worked together before, and it did not quite seem serious enough for that.
In the end, he only kept the messages muted.
Pei Zhi’s expression became visibly brighter with delight.
Seeing the sleepiness in Xie Ning’s eyes, he turned off the lights. “Sleep early. Stop looking at your phone.”
Xie Ning had not planned to keep looking at it anyway. He placed the phone on the bedside table, then lay down and noticed that Pei Zhi was sleeping at the very edge of the bed, very far from him.
Clearly on purpose.
Just a few hours ago, Pei Zhi had repeatedly insisted that he wanted to sleep hugging him. And now he was deliberately drawing a line between them. Lying on his side at the edge of the bed with his arms folded, Pei Zhi had left a large amount of space for Xie Ning to roll around in.
“Why aren’t you coming over here?” Xie Ning asked in confusion. “Didn’t you say you wanted to sleep hugging me?”
[I can’t just hug my wife whenever I want.]
[But I really want to, really really want to hug my wife… What do I do? What do I do? I’m so torn.]
Pei Zhi wrestled with himself for less than three seconds.
Then he rolled over, swiftly wrapped Xie Ning up in the blanket, and hugged him through the blanket.
He let out a satisfied sigh.
Xie Ning could not help but laugh. Hugging him through the blanket—how was that any different from hugging him directly?
Did adding a layer of blanket suddenly mean he was hugging the blanket instead of him?
Sometimes he truly did not understand the way Pei Zhi’s mind worked.
What Xie Ning did not understand was that this was already the best solution Pei Zhi could come up with.
With a layer of blanket between them, no matter how soft the blanket was, it still could not compare to Xie Ning.
In the dark, holding Xie Ning who was wrapped up inside the blanket, Pei Zhi listened to his steady breathing and imagined what it would feel like without that extra layer. Soft and boneless, small and slender, easy to hold in his arms.
He would feel soft in his embrace and smell sweet. And when Xie Ning slept soundly, his sleeping posture was always so well-behaved. In his sleep, he would unconsciously rub his pink little cheeks against Pei Zhi’s chest.
No. Stop. He could not think any further.
“Xie Ning,” Pei Zhi suddenly asked softly, “what kind of person do you like?”
Then he asked, “Would you date someone?”
Xie Ning was actually already a little sleepy. He slowly yawned. “For now, I don’t have that plan. As for someone I like… I don’t know either. I guess I’ll only know when I meet that person.”
Pei Zhi felt happy, and unhappy.
Happy because for now, he did not seem to have any strong romantic rivals.
Disappointed because he himself was not the person Xie Ning liked.
“What about you?” Xie Ning asked.
“Me?” Pei Zhi said.
“Didn’t you say you had a girl you liked?” Xie Ning said. “That’s what I thought you meant.”
During the game, Pei Zhi had preferred to drink as punishment rather than answer. Xie Ning had assumed Pei Zhi might have feelings for someone there, but felt embarrassed to say it outright.
Had he guessed wrong?
“I don’t like any girl,” Pei Zhi said.
But I do like a boy, and he’s right here in my arms.
He added that silently in his heart, his heartbeat pounding like thunder.
“Alright,” Xie Ning said. “Then I guessed wrong.”
“Let’s sleep. Good night, no more talking.” Sleepily, Xie Ning pressed his forehead against Pei Zhi’s chin, his voice drowsy and indistinct. “I’m really sleepy.”
That warm patch of skin touching his—just that tiny bit of contact sent a tidal wave crashing through Pei Zhi.
His heart began racing at a terrifying speed, his body temperature rising in an instant. His whole body tensed, and he hardly dared breathe.
After a long while, he finally replied softly, “Good night.”
Actually, Pei Zhi was not used to sleeping early. He was a night owl. But strangely, as long as Xie Ning was beside him—as long as Xie Ning was in his arms—his schedule would change along with him.
Pei Zhi tightened his arm, wanting to hold Xie Ning even closer, wanting the distance between them to become more intimate still.
But no matter what he did, there was always that blanket between them like a river running across the space separating them. Either Pei Zhi had to slip inside, or Xie Ning had to come out.
Perhaps because Pei Zhi was holding him too tightly, a trace of discomfort appeared on Xie Ning’s face. His cheeks flushed, his elegant brows furrowed slightly, and his tightly closed lips parted a little, letting out a soft moan.
That sweet, soft sound froze Pei Zhi in an instant. His temperature flared hot; his mind seemed to catch fire.
“You…” Pei Zhi hesitated, then still chose to ask softly, “Are you asleep?”
There was no response.
Xie Ning was probably asleep. He always slept very obediently and very deeply. Other than Pei Zhi, probably no one had ever seen him like this.
To Xie Ning, Pei Zhi seemed to be someone unique.
The moment that thought appeared in his mind, Pei Zhi felt an unprecedented surge of excitement. But soon after, it was as if a balloon had been punctured—his expression darkened again, annoyed and gloomy.
Not long ago, someone had confessed to Xie Ning.
He knew there were many people who liked Xie Ning. But just imagining the possibility of Xie Ning being with someone else made dark emotions grow uncontrollably inside him.
Pei Zhi imagined countless possibilities, all ways of driving away these potential rivals. Like an evil dragon afraid its treasure would be stolen, he remained on high alert against anyone who came near Xie Ning.
“Xie Ning…” In the end, Pei Zhi still could not hold back. He buried his face in the crook of Xie Ning’s neck. The warmth of his skin, the slenderness of his neck, and that familiar scent all fascinated him beyond reason.
At that moment, his blood roared and boiled. Even while holding Xie Ning, Pei Zhi still felt unbearably uneasy. He could only rub against him again and again, trying to leave his own scent on Xie Ning.
Like an animal marking its mate.
Pei Zhi held him tightly, with the kind of force that seemed to wish their bodies could merge into one. A wicked thought crossed his mind—if only Xie Ning could swallow him whole.
Then he would be with Xie Ning forever, alive inside Xie Ning’s body.
The only problem was that then he would not be able to hold Xie Ning anymore.
But surely there would be another way.
Xie Ning’s body grew hotter and hotter, not only from the stuffy warmth of the blanket, but also from the heat of Pei Zhi’s body.
The faint pink on his cheeks deepened into a vivid flush. Even the tip of his nose took on a lovely pink hue, and his pale lips darkened. The air was full of his scent, and Pei Zhi narrowed his eyes, so bewitched he felt almost out of his mind.
Unease and satisfaction coexisted, repeatedly tormenting Pei Zhi’s nerves.
Like a vicious dog, he kept breathing in Xie Ning’s scent over and over, until he was certain that it now carried traces of his own. Xie Ning’s natural fragrance had slowly blended with another scent, like a different kind of union.
A morbid, deeply satisfied look suddenly appeared on his handsome, chiseled face. His expression turned dazed, his excitement almost abnormal.
Pei Zhi pulled Xie Ning back into his arms once more, one large hand cradling the back of his head, repeating the same thought again and again.
Mine. Mine…
Mine.
