Chapter 23
Pei Zhi seemed dissatisfied by how distracted Xie Ning was. His rough thumb slowly brushed against the tip of Xie Ning’s chin. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
After thinking for a moment, Xie Ning said with a slightly helpless look in his eyes, “I feel like… it’s not that just anything is fine. For some especially intimate contact, you should still tell me beforehand. At least give me some mental preparation.”
Xie Ning knew that Pei Zhi’s inner thoughts did not reflect reality, but because the content was so wild and shocking, he still kept a little guard up.
Though with some of it, he only understood half of what it meant.
Pei Zhi said, “I’ll get your consent first.”
There were all kinds of movies available, including many classic and popular ones.
While Xie Ning was still thinking about what to watch, Pei Zhi sat down first at the foot of the bed. He very deliberately spread his legs apart and braced his hands on either side of himself. With that posture, he took up the whole foot of the bed, leaving Xie Ning no place to sit at all.
Xie Ning said helplessly, “There’s nowhere for me to sit.”
Even if Xie Ning wanted to sit farther in, he would have to climb over Pei Zhi to do it.
“Then why not just sit on my lap? I can hold you.” Pei Zhi sounded like he was asking for permission from a superior. “Can I?”
Xie Ning said, “No.”
Pei Zhi moved aside and made enough room for him, looking a little disappointed. “Alright then.”
Xie Ning sat down beside Pei Zhi. Pei Zhi asked, “Then what about holding hands?”
“We can hold hands later.” Xie Ning asked, “What are we watching? A horror movie? A suspense movie?”
Pei Zhi said, “If it’s a horror movie, will you be scared?”
Xie Ning said, “Probably not too much.”
“I’m not scared either,” Pei Zhi said. “Then let’s watch a horror movie. I’ll search for one, and we can pick together.”
In a quiet environment, Pei Zhi’s inner thoughts were especially clear, and sometimes when they were close, Xie Ning could hear even more.
But now, Xie Ning had more or less learned how to block out Pei Zhi’s inner voice, or at least pretend he had not heard it.
Pei Zhi searched online for popular horror movie recommendations. Xie Ning took the opportunity to glance at his phone. The group chat was nonstop. He said, “The dorm group keeps sending messages. They’re urging us to come downstairs and join the games.”
Gu Nian and Chen Xi had already blended into the group activities and seemed to have been made to drink a lot. Both of them were wailing for Pei Zhi and Xie Ning to come save them.
Too bad neither of them had checked their phones just now.
Pei Zhi said, “Forget about them.”
Then he added, “I mean, we’re not going downstairs. We’re watching a movie.”
“Just the two of us.” For some reason, Pei Zhi repeated that sentence.
The emphasis felt a little strange. Xie Ning asked, “Was there going to be anyone else?”
“No,” Pei Zhi said. “What about you?”
Xie Ning said, “If you won’t, then I won’t either.”
Xie Ning categorized this attitude of Pei Zhi’s as possessiveness within friendship.
He often watched the social patterns of people around him from an almost godlike distance. Whenever many people saw a good friend gain a new friend, or an even closer friend, they inevitably felt complicated emotions like disappointment, jealousy, or grievance.
The phone was still vibrating. Pei Zhi suddenly said, “Actually, I don’t like coming to events like this.”
Xie Ning said, “Hm?”
“There are too many people. It’s annoying,” Pei Zhi said. “Too noisy.”
Xie Ning asked in confusion, “Then why did you come?”
“Because you came.”
“Just because I was coming?”
“Mm. Because you said you were coming, so I came too.” Pei Zhi said, “Socializing is boring to me. It has no meaning.”
He seemed like he wanted to reach out and hold Xie Ning’s hand, but after thinking about it, he pulled back. His fingers slowly brushed the edge of his phone. “But if you’re here, then even boring things like this seem meaningful.”
A subtle emotion flashed past too quickly. Xie Ning tried to catch it, but it vanished so fast he could not even grab the tail of it.
Xie Ning also disliked socializing. He had only chosen to come to this event because he wanted to try building a deeper social relationship with Pei Zhi. But he had not expected that in some ways, Pei Zhi would align with him so strangely well.
Neither of them liked socializing, but in this moment, both had chosen to do it for the other person.
Right now Pei Zhi looked languid and satisfied, with none of his usual coldness or unapproachability. Xie Ning then remembered something. “You upgraded the room, right? How much was it? I’ll transfer you my share.”
“It’s fine.”
“Even if you won’t let me pay all of it, at least let me pay half. We’ll split it.”
Pei Zhi stopped searching for horror movies. “Are you really going to keep the accounts this clear with me?”
Xie Ning said, “Even brothers settle accounts clearly.”
“But we’re not brothers.” Xie Ning’s attitude was firm. In the end, Pei Zhi could only say, “Then just transfer me something random. Say, 521.”
Only after transferring it did Xie Ning realize what that number meant. He said, “Should I send you another 1314 too?”
Pei Zhi said, “Sure.”
Xie Ning transferred the money very quickly.
Just as he was about to set his phone aside, the dorm group chat became lively again. Everyone was talking about Pei Zhi’s profile picture and Moments.
Xie Ning refreshed his Moments and fell silent.
Pei Zhi had changed both his profile picture and his display name. His new profile picture was a screenshot of Xie Ning transferring him 521 and 1314. His new display name was “521.”
He had even posted the screenshot to his Moments. The profile picture was cropped out, leaving only the contact name: a single character, “Ning.”
No—Pei Zhi had probably not changed Xie Ning’s contact name at all, because Xie Ning’s WeChat name really was just that single character: “Ning.”
Xie Ning said helplessly, “Why did you post that?”
Pei Zhi said, “Why not?”
Slowly, he added, “So everyone can know that I’m being kept.”
That attitude of his was honestly asking to be hit. Xie Ning laughed softly. “Young Master Pei, is that amount of money enough to keep you?”
It probably was not even enough for one pair of Pei Zhi’s shoes.
“For anyone else, I wouldn’t sell myself no matter how much they paid.” Pei Zhi squeezed Xie Ning’s hand, his thumb slowly rubbing over the back of it. His gaze was serious. “But if it’s Baby Ning, I’d even pay to be kept.”
Xie Ning’s face grew warm. He turned his head away. Pei Zhi leaned his head closer. “Can’t I call you that?”
“Your parents call you that on the phone too.”
“It’s not that you can’t.” It was just a form of address, nothing special. Xie Ning said helplessly, “My parents always treat me like a child.”
“Mm, Baby Ning has grown up now,” Pei Zhi said. “A big baby now.”
Xie Ning said, “Stop being so cheesy.”
“Alright. I’ll listen to you.”
Pei Zhi still seemed a little regretful, and also very attached to this new nickname.
Seeing that Xie Ning was not speaking, he quietly stretched his hand over, secretly touched Xie Ning’s fingers, then bent down and leaned in. “Are you mad?”
How could Xie Ning possibly be angry over a nickname? “No.”
Pei Zhi acted as though he had not heard that. His fingers quietly slipped into the spaces between Xie Ning’s, and under Xie Ning’s gaze, their fingers intertwined. He lifted their joined hands and pressed his face against the back of Xie Ning’s hand. “Little ancestor, don’t be mad. I was wrong.”
“Forgive me, okay?”
Xie Ning lowered his lashes. “I’m really not angry.”
Pei Zhi said, “I know.”
Xie Ning said, “You know?”
More accurately, Xie Ning simply did not care much about many things. If he did not care about something, then naturally it would not affect his emotions.
“Yeah. You have a good temper. You rarely get angry.” Pei Zhi seemed completely immersed in rubbing his face against the back of Xie Ning’s hand. “I just… want to coax you.”
“…”
“I know you don’t need it either,” Pei Zhi said. “But I still want to.”
Xie Ning was holding himself up on the bed with one hand, while the other had a whole face stuck to it.
Then Pei Zhi lifted his eyes and, under Xie Ning’s gaze, said, “I want to coax you. I want to be good to you. I want to be alone with you.”
“Just the two of us.”
“Well, now you’ve gotten your wish.” Xie Ning said, “Didn’t you say we were watching a horror movie? Have you picked one yet?”
Pei Zhi put the phone on Xie Ning’s lap and leaned over to look with him. “This one has really high ratings. Everyone who’s seen it says it’s scary.”
“Then let’s watch this one,” Xie Ning said. “If it really is scary, I might get frightened.”
Pei Zhi said, “I’ll protect you.”
Xie Ning could feel how sweaty Pei Zhi’s palm was, as though he was already getting scared in advance. He smiled. “Alright.”
The movie slowly moved into the main plot. In an abandoned factory, a group of young people arrived to explore, carrying backpacks and supplies. Then the scene shifted to a desolate street where a group of grotesque monsters crawled along the ground, every one of them covered in dense scales.
It was not really scary, just disgusting.
Xie Ning had a bit of trypophobia, and he was also a germaphobe, so he turned his head slightly—only to discover that Pei Zhi seemed somewhat frightened.
Pei Zhi’s expression looked normal, but his muscles were much tighter than usual, clearly showing a state of tension. He held Xie Ning’s hand very tightly, their palms sweating against each other, and every so often he lowered his head to ask, “Am I gripping too hard?”
“No.” Then the picture suddenly jumped—a monster lunging at the camera without warning made Xie Ning lean to one side, almost as if he had thrown himself into Pei Zhi’s arms. A little embarrassed, he said quietly, “That was a little scary.”
“Mm.” Though the momentary embrace had broken instantly, the softness of that brief contact was enough for Pei Zhi to savor for a long time. Pei Zhi said, “But it’s okay. I wasn’t scared. If you’re scared, lean over here.”
Then he added, “I’ll protect you.”
A dark shadow crept across the forest, then rose to its feet. In the moonlight, its twisted, hideous face was chilling.
In the movie, one member of the exploration team saw it. The instant his camera clicked, he was so terrified he nearly fell apart. Unfortunately, he moved too slowly, and the monster quickly caught up to him, tearing him to bloody shreds.
Xie Ning did not find it scary, only disgusting. Then suddenly, a huge bang!
He was startled badly by the unexpected sound effect, and his shoulders jerked. Pei Zhi immediately pulled him into his arms.
One strong arm wrapped around his back, while the other came around the side of his face to hold the back of his head, blocking his view while also covering his ears.
Xie Ning was almost completely shielded in Pei Zhi’s embrace. Pei Zhi stroked the back of his head and comforted him in a low voice. “It’s okay. Don’t be scared.”
His burning hand covered Xie Ning’s eyes as he coaxed, “Alright, alright. The monster’s gone now. You can keep watching.”
Like he was soothing a child.
Xie Ning slowly opened his eyes, his long lashes brushing against Pei Zhi’s fingers like soft feathers flicking at a racing heartbeat.
Nestled in Pei Zhi’s arms, with the screen light flashing over them, Xie Ning looked beautiful.
Pei Zhi’s heartbeat suddenly sped up. The shrieking sound effects from the horror movie seemed to transform into soft, romantic piano music. He looked at Xie Ning’s face and felt unbearably warm.
He reached out and pinched Xie Ning’s fingers, then tugged gently at his sleeve, trying to get his attention.
But when Xie Ning was doing something, he liked to focus completely. Even while watching a movie, he was fully immersed, directly ignoring Pei Zhi’s little moves beside him.
Pei Zhi felt a bit dejected, but when he looked at Xie Ning’s delicate profile, his heart started pounding again.
“Do you want something to drink?” Pei Zhi said. “Or maybe something to eat?”
“No need for food. The movie is a little gross. It’s affecting my appetite.” Xie Ning lifted the corner of his eyes. “Drink? To work up courage?”
“Mm. To work up courage,” Pei Zhi said. “I’m a little scared.”
The same person who had just said he would protect him was now admitting to being scared.
Xie Ning said, “Sure. Have a little.”
Pei Zhi looked pretty clear-headed, so the drunkenness from earlier had probably faded by now.
In truth, Pei Zhi had no idea what the movie was even about. He had spent the whole time staring at Xie Ning.
No matter what expression Xie Ning wore, or from what angle he was seen, he always looked irresistible.
If Pei Zhi had intentionally acted drunk during the hot spring, then now he really did seem to have drunk too much.
The alcohol in the viewing area was not the mild sake from earlier. This stuff had much more alcohol. Pei Zhi drank a lot. Every time his heartbeat sped up, he drank. Every time he stole a glance at Xie Ning, he drank…
Xie Ning had only had a little under half a glass, and even he felt some heat in his face. Pei Zhi had been drinking far more recklessly.
Pei Zhi suddenly tipped back a large mouthful of liquor, picked his timing perfectly, and at the exact moment the movie scene turned abruptly horrifying, he reached out and hugged Xie Ning.
He buried his face in the hollow of Xie Ning’s neck. His tall, strong body trembled non-stop as he kept rubbing against him.
Pei Zhi was too large. The moment he pulled Xie Ning into his arms, Xie Ning’s whole field of vision became unclear. He said helplessly, “Didn’t you say you weren’t scared?”
“More frightening than I thought.” Pei Zhi seemed like he really had been scared by the movie. In a low voice, he said, “Can I hug you?”
“Not just once. The kind with many hugs.”
Xie Ning said, “You’re already hugging me.”
“Not this kind. A closer kind.”
“Aren’t we already close enough?”
Pei Zhi said, “Not enough.”
The closeness Xie Ning understood, and the closeness Pei Zhi understood, clearly were not the same thing.
Pei Zhi grasped Xie Ning by the waist and lifted him onto his lap. Xie Ning’s knees parted slightly as he ended up straddling him face-to-face.
Just by lowering his eyes, he could see Xie Ning’s slender waist and the soft, full curve of his body.
Their chests were pressed together, face to face. Only then was Pei Zhi fully satisfied. Holding Xie Ning in his arms like a cherished treasure, he rubbed his face against Xie Ning’s cheek, his voice soaked in contentment. “This is the kind of hug I mean.”
It really was more intimate than the way they had hugged just now.
Only…
Was Pei Zhi really this timid?
He looked cold, arrogant, and difficult to approach, yet in private he would actually tremble from a horror movie?
Just as Xie Ning was about to comfort him, he suddenly heard a burst of delighted inner thoughts.
[So nice. I finally got to hug my wife!]
[I love this horror movie so much. Ghost bros, ghost sisters, monster friends, can you all work a little harder? If you’ve got more scary tricks, hurry up and use them.]
[My wife smells so good. Really want to take a bite. His skin is so soft and white. Slurp slurp, lick my wife from head to toe.]
[His waist really is so thin… let me secretly touch it.]
Xie Ning: “…”
So Pei Zhi had not been drinking to work up courage for the movie at all. He had been drinking to do bad things.
Like he had genuinely been scared by the movie, Pei Zhi burrowed further into the hollow of Xie Ning’s neck. “This movie is kind of scary.”
Xie Ning said, “Mm, it really is.”
Forget it. He would not expose him. That would just be awkward.
But the way Pei Zhi kept rubbing and rubbing against him, pressing his face to his, really was exactly like… an affectionate big dog.
The movie ended quickly. By the end, Xie Ning no longer even knew what it had been about, though horror movies were more or less the same, so he could guess the broad outline anyway.
This alcohol really had a strong aftereffect.
Compared to the sake from the hot spring earlier, this stuff was on a completely different level.
Xie Ning was lying flat on the bed, his chest rising and falling slowly with each small breath.
He had one arm across his eyes, but someone caught his wrist and moved it away. His lashes trembled, and he opened his eyes a beat later—just in time to meet Pei Zhi’s gaze.
In the dim, diffused light, Pei Zhi’s face was half-hidden in shifting shadow. A bead of sweat slid down his cheek, hung at his chin, then dropped silently onto Xie Ning’s collarbone.
Xie Ning’s lashes trembled slightly. He shook his head a little, trying to keep himself conscious.
The moment he turned his head, he could see Pei Zhi’s arm braced beside him, the muscles tight and defined, the veins standing out clearly.
“Xie Ning.” Pei Zhi said hoarsely, “I think I really am drunk. What about you?”
Xie Ning still had a trace of awareness left, but not much. The thought that both of them had gotten drunk while watching a horror movie felt ridiculous, and he laughed softly. “Maybe me too.”
“Do you want to try it?”
“Try what?”
Pei Zhi said, “Try treatment.”
“If you’re not used to contact with other people, then maybe if you try more contact with me, you’ll get used to it.”
The words sounded familiar. Xie Ning’s therapist had said something similar before.
His eyes were a little unfocused. He tipped his neck back slightly, revealing the graceful line of his neck and shoulders, his pale skin flushed pink from the alcohol.
His thoughts moved slowly. Looking at Pei Zhi’s face, he asked, “How do we try?”
Pei Zhi said, in a tone almost like temptation, “Touch me.”
“Where?”
“One step at a time. Start with my face.”
Pei Zhi’s body slowly lowered. They were very close now, close enough to feel each other’s breath. As the atmosphere warmed with their body heat, Xie Ning raised a hand and touched Pei Zhi’s face.
Pei Zhi asked, “What does it feel like?”
Xie Ning said, “Very hot.”
“Because I’m very warm,” Pei Zhi said. “Move lower.”
The hand on his face slowly slid down, and the soft fingers stopped near his throat.
Pei Zhi’s Adam’s apple bobbed. In a hoarse voice, he asked, “Why did you stop?”
Pei Zhi had been staring at him the whole time, his gaze almost tangible. Under such scrutiny, Xie Ning truly could not keep going. He said, “I don’t think I really feel anything.”
“Maybe because we’ve already had more intimate contact before, these ordinary touches don’t do much for you anymore.” Pei Zhi said, “That means the treatment is working. If you touch me more, you’ll get better.”
Complete nonsense.
And yet Pei Zhi said it with such a serious face, as though it genuinely made sense.
Xie Ning’s hand kept moving downward until he pressed it against Pei Zhi’s chest.
His overly pale, soft fingers resting against that full, firm muscle created a striking contrast.
Xie Ning said, “Doctor Pei, I still don’t think I feel much.”
“That’s exactly right. Not feeling much means you’re getting used to this kind of contact.” Pei Zhi paused, then added, “Or maybe your touch doesn’t do much for you.”
“So?”
“So—”
Dark bangs cast a faint shadow over his forehead. Pei Zhi’s pupils reflected Xie Ning’s face, while a thirst stirred from somewhere deep inside him. His Adam’s apple moved, and when he spoke, his voice was very low, roughened by restraint.
“Now it’s my turn to touch you.”
