Chapter 22
Pei Zhi held Xie Ning tightly, his whole body stiff.
Even though both of them were wearing shorts, once that thin layer of fabric had been soaked through and plastered against their bodies, it could not really block anything at all.
On the contrary, because of that extra layer of cloth, there was now a faint grainy friction from time to time, like some signal that danger was closing in, making Xie Ning tense up involuntarily.
Pei Zhi’s rough, broad hand rested over Xie Ning’s hand against his lower abdomen. His darker skin made Xie Ning’s fair, faintly pink skin look even more translucent and alluring by contrast.
The panting by his ear had not stopped. The heavy, urgent breathing made it impossible not to worry about Pei Zhi’s current state. As someone who had trained in sports from childhood, Pei Zhi should have been good at regulating his breathing and maintaining control.
But right now, those deeply ingrained skills seemed to have been crushed to pieces, completely useless.
Xie Ning’s skin hunger syndrome, on the other hand, had been soothed. His own breathing quickly calmed, but Pei Zhi behind him, even after all this time, was still hovering on the edge of losing control.
The shifting light illuminated Pei Zhi’s face, which looked almost intoxicated.
He looked miserable. He clung to Xie Ning, his arms wrapped tightly around him, rubbing his face against Xie Ning’s neck with careful restraint, occasionally taking deep, desperate breaths.
Xie Ning’s wrist was slowly caught, rough fingers rubbing back and forth along the inside of it.
The air was hot, but it was nothing compared to the heat at his wrist. Pei Zhi’s body heat kept pouring into his skin, making Xie Ning’s whole body warm up too.
The situation really was rather awkward, so Xie Ning did not immediately say anything. He thought that any polite person ought to choose the more dignified option.
What he had not expected, though, was that Pei Zhi had no intention of avoiding it, and even less intention of letting go.
“Pei Zhi.” They were both men, so Xie Ning was not incapable of understanding. He said, “Do you maybe want to… go into the bathroom and deal with it?”
Pei Zhi was silent for a moment before saying, “No need.”
Then he explained, “It might just be because I drank too much. I’m usually not this rude.”
[Only wife is different.]
[The feeling of liking wife is like a wagging tail. I can’t control it at all.]
[Wife, wife, such a good wife, so soft and small in my arms.]
[Sneak in a little fuck.]
[But why did wife suddenly tell me to go deal with it 0.0? Does he think I’m a pervert…? Or think I’m dirty? Does he not want me to keep holding him?]
[ToT wife, wife.]
Pei Zhi, who had just been constantly rubbing against Xie Ning, suddenly became cautious and careful, like a wolfdog afraid of being thrown out by its owner, his imposing presence shrinking by several degrees.
Lowering his head, Pei Zhi asked with restraint, “Can I hold you a little longer?”
Xie Ning kept his eyes closed. “Aren’t you already holding me?”
In truth, Xie Ning did not want to leave this embrace either. His skin hunger syndrome was no longer as severe as it had been earlier, but being held like this felt extremely comfortable. His nerves tingled pleasantly.
He wanted to stay like this a little longer.
As for how long “a little” meant, even he could not say.
[Hehe, then that means I can keep holding wife!]
Xie Ning kept being held, and naïvely assumed that after a while, Pei Zhi would get better. But Pei Zhi was still young, with blood running hot.
The more time Xie Ning gave him, the more worked up Pei Zhi seemed to become, until it reached a level that even Xie Ning found difficult to tolerate.
Xie Ning felt as though he were trapped inside a furnace, his whole body surrounded by the heat radiating off Pei Zhi.
His own restlessness had already been completely soothed. Pei Zhi’s had not. On the contrary, he was like a fire barrel being constantly fed with fuel, burning more and more fiercely.
At first, Xie Ning had still been able to understand it. But now, he truly could not ignore that heavy sense of presence any longer. After a pause, he said, “Pei Zhi, I’m a little uncomfortable.”
“Mm?” Pei Zhi was intoxicated with smelling him, like an addict high on something, his expression dazed.
“It’s a little hot,” Xie Ning said. Afraid Pei Zhi would not understand, he decided to be more direct. “And it’s very hard.”
“Really. It’s uncomfortable.”
Soaking in a hot spring was supposed to be relaxing, but Xie Ning felt as if he were sitting on a heated stone. And not an ordinary stone, either. As the water shifted, its presence only grew stronger and stronger.
It really was not very comfortable.
Xie Ning shifted slightly, trying to adjust his sitting position, but the moment he managed to create even a little distance, Pei Zhi immediately pressed close again, filling the gap.
From behind him, Pei Zhi sounded full of guilt, his voice hoarse. “I’m sorry, I didn’t control him.”
Xie Ning: “…”
Then at least let go of me for a second?
Pei Zhi apologized, but there was not the slightest sign that his arms were going to loosen.
At the same time, Xie Ning could not very well insist that Pei Zhi actually let go, because just moments ago he had “used” Pei Zhi to get through the worst of his flare-up. If he kicked him away now, it would feel a bit too heartless.
A few minutes passed, and Xie Ning realized he still could not bear it. He said, “We’ve been soaking for quite a while already. Should we get out?”
“And rinse off in the bathroom.”
Pei Zhi asked, “Together?”
Xie Ning said, “Separately.”
“Alright then.” Somewhere Xie Ning could not see, Pei Zhi’s face was full of regret. A few seconds later, he repeated word by word, “Separately.”
Pei Zhi seemed reluctant to leave the water. His movements were slow, dragging on, yet he still refused to let go of Xie Ning, insisting on bringing him out of the spring while holding him.
Xie Ning was turned around. Pei Zhi pulled him face-to-face into his arms, slid both arms beneath his knees, and lifted him from the water the way one might carry a child.
That posture was rather embarrassing, and a wave of shame rose in Xie Ning’s chest.
Xie Ning’s hands hovered lightly at Pei Zhi’s shoulders. His slightly curled fingers, with their bud-like fingertips, brushed softly against Pei Zhi’s bronze skin. He looked as if he wanted to grab on but was too embarrassed to, making him seem inexperienced and helpless.
Pei Zhi acted as though he had noticed nothing of Xie Ning’s discomfort. His steps were steady, and carrying Xie Ning did not appear to strain him in the slightest.
The steps leading out of the hot spring were not steep. Suddenly, as if he had lost his balance, Pei Zhi shifted his arms upward.
Xie Ning jolted in his arms. Instinctively, he threw both arms tightly around Pei Zhi’s neck, and the legs that had been hanging loose at his sides lifted as well, wrapping around Pei Zhi for security.
Like a cat curling up in his arms, Xie Ning nestled close. His flushed, exquisite cheek rested near Pei Zhi’s throat. Pei Zhi was simply too tall, and that height made Xie Ning unconsciously lean even closer toward him.
He lowered his head cautiously to help watch the ground, afraid the same thing might happen again.
The large hand at the backs of his knees tightened slowly, and the familiar inner voice sounded again.
[So cute. So easy to trick.]
[How is wife this silly? Did he really not realize I did that on purpose? I deliberately jostled him, and wife thought the road was uneven and even helped me watch the ground.]
[Such a silly wife. I’m drooling. Fuck.]
Xie Ning’s pupils slowly widened. Looking up in shock, he said, “You did that on purpose.”
Inside, Pei Zhi was alarmed, but on the outside he only looked confused, pretending not to understand. “What?”
Xie Ning pressed his lips together. His beautiful brows drew together slightly. “Just now. You did that on purpose.”
They were both intelligent enough to know what “just now” referred to.
Pei Zhi apologized immediately. “Sorry. My arm was a little sore just now, so I didn’t control it well. But I honestly wasn’t trying to scare you. Believe me.”
But he had done it on purpose.
Xie Ning lifted his wet lashes and shot Pei Zhi the lightest glare.
And that single glance only made Pei Zhi even more excited, which made Xie Ning even more astonished.
Pei Zhi had a strong mentality. Even when caught doing something embarrassing, he could still maintain an almost nonchalant composure.
He casually picked up the jacket lying on the sofa, spread it flat on the bathroom floor, and then had Xie Ning step onto it.
The bare white feet standing on the black sports jacket looked even more delicate and elegant. His toes were round and full, the tops of his feet faintly pink from the hot water, and the lines of his ankle bones and calves were exceptionally graceful, to the point of looking delicious.
Pei Zhi’s hand settled of its own accord around Xie Ning’s ankle bone. Xie Ning lowered his gaze, looking down at Pei Zhi, who was half-kneeling at his feet.
Pei Zhi said, “I’m sorry.”
Xie Ning asked, “For what?”
His fingers still circling the ankle, Pei Zhi looked up at Xie Ning. “I did it on purpose just now. I deliberately jostled you. But I definitely wasn’t trying to tease you.”
“I just wanted…” Pei Zhi paused, struggling briefly between a lie and the truth, then chose the latter. “I wanted you to rely on me a little more.”
“Rely on you?”
“Mm.”
On the surface, their relationship seemed quite good. But Pei Zhi could feel that Xie Ning was always maintaining a certain politeness and courtesy, the kind of distance other people described as detachment.
Pei Zhi knew that every relationship between people came with boundaries and limits. One could not become too dependent, one could not be too possessive, and one definitely could not be too controlling.
He understood all of that.
[But I want you to need me, rely on me, possess me, control me.]
[It doesn’t matter if you keep me on a tight leash. I like being controlled by you. It doesn’t matter if your demands are unreasonable. I’ll do them.]
[You’re my wife. Being controlled by wife, being demanded things by wife, isn’t that perfectly natural and also a kind of happiness?]
[Wuwu, wife, please control me T-T.]
Pei Zhi said, “I want us to be closer. I don’t want you to stay that polite with me. Just now, I wanted you to hold on to me the way you did afterward.”
He knew that thinking like this was wrong. Wanting someone to feel possessive over him had no proper basis at all. Beneath lowered dark lashes, he stared at Xie Ning’s toes. “But it seems like you don’t like that.”
It was too intimate.
Even with his own family, Xie Ning had never had this much physical closeness. Rather than disliking it, it was more that he was simply not used to it.
Xie Ning was used to doing things alone. The reason he had chosen to build a social relationship with Pei Zhi was because of the thoughts he could suddenly hear, because he did not dislike Pei Zhi’s touch, and because of his skin hunger syndrome.
If even one of those three conditions were missing, he would never have chosen this path. Of course, the most important one was the first.
If he had never heard Pei Zhi’s thoughts, he would never have been able to tell whether Pei Zhi was sincere or merely being polite. He had seen too many socially polite fake smiles.
He did not like forcing things, and he disliked troubling others even more.
There was one more reason.
Pei Zhi’s inner voice was very interesting, and that in itself had made Xie Ning a little curious about him.
“I don’t dislike it,” Xie Ning said. “I’m just not used to it. Because… other than you, I rarely have physical contact with other people.”
He paused, then added, “But I’m used to a lot more now.”
Pei Zhi, who had been hanging his head in gloom, suddenly looked up. The dejected way he had been crouching at Xie Ning’s feet made him seem especially like a large dog afraid of its owner’s anger.
But because the owner’s tone had suddenly softened, his expression brightened at once, and the invisible tail behind him seemed to start wagging again.
[Is that what it was?]
[Just now when wife pushed me away, he looked like he didn’t want to bother with me anymore. There were moments like that before too…]
[I thought he hated me. I thought I’d made wife unhappy. I thought wife wanted to draw a line between us. I was panicking to death (???).]
[Wait… other than me? Only me? So I’m special?]
[So I matter this much to wife?!]
Pei Zhi asked, “Is it because of your cleanliness obsession? So you don’t like people getting close, something like… fear of close contact?”
He had seen similar symptoms online, like social or intimacy anxiety.
When someone got too close, the patient would feel extreme discomfort, unease, even anxiety, and uncontrollably imagine awkward scenarios that might happen in social interaction, becoming afraid of them.
Xie Ning said, “Something like that. But not to that degree.”
To him, skin hunger syndrome was an intensely private topic. Other than his doctor, he would not discuss it with anyone.
He truly was not as severe as that. He could still socialize normally with roommates, and he could communicate normally with others.
The heart Pei Zhi had been holding suspended finally eased. The main reason Xie Ning did not like physical contact was probably his cleanliness obsession, not anything else.
Pei Zhi confirmed, “So it really isn’t because you hate me?”
Xie Ning said, “I really don’t dislike you, and I’m not trying to draw a line between us.”
The dull, downcast expression on Pei Zhi’s face visibly brightened. Xie Ning could almost see the tail behind him wagging wildly.
Was Pei Zhi really this happy just because he had said he did not dislike him?
[I’m so happy, so happy, wife doesn’t dislike me!]
[If wife doesn’t dislike me, doesn’t that mean he especially likes me? Good, because I also especially especially especially like wife. I love wife the most.]
[I’m a firm believer in wife-ism!]
His inner voice was exploding with joy like fireworks, yet outwardly Pei Zhi still looked cool and aloof, very composed. He took a pair of slippers from the side, lifted Xie Ning’s foot, and helped him put them on.
While doing so, he asked casually, “I’ve heard—just heard—that the way to overcome fear is to face it directly. Like public speaking. A lot of people get so nervous at first that their hands shake and they get dizzy. But the more they speak, the smoother it gets, until eventually they can control the rhythm.”
“If it’s something like fear of closeness… then the more you aren’t used to it, the more you need physical contact with people. Like desensitization therapy. Do you want to try? Maybe it would help you.”
Pei Zhi was trying very hard to cover up his true motive, but no one listening could have missed it.
Once both feet had slippers on, Xie Ning suddenly asked, “Pei Zhi, do you really want more physical contact with me?”
[Not really want. I especially especially especially especially want it!!]
[Wife, wife, look at me, look at my eager little eyes. I especially especially want more physical contact with you.]
[I want us to be the best in the whole world. >u<]
Pei Zhi answered reservedly, “Not that much. It all depends on you. My wishes aren’t important.”
“Alright, then let’s try,” Xie Ning said, the corners of his lips lifting slightly. “Let’s see if Doctor Pei can cure me completely.”
A rich fragrance drifted closer. Pei Zhi’s pupils widened.
Xie Ning bent down in front of him. His snow-white collarbones were suddenly very close, and the droplet of water at the tip of his chin trembled with gravity, on the verge of falling. Pei Zhi’s vision swayed with it.
Then Xie Ning lightly touched Pei Zhi’s cheek, his voice soft and dreamlike by his ear. “Thank you for your hard work, Doctor Pei.”
As soon as he said that, Xie Ning turned and went into the bathroom, leaving Pei Zhi behind with his heart pounding like a drum.
The sound of water started up in the bathroom. His gaze drifted involuntarily to the jacket on the floor.
There were obvious wet footprints on the dark jacket, the marks Xie Ning had just left behind.
Even though Pei Zhi tried desperately to stay calm, the tips of his ears still flushed with a large, unhealthy red. The damp sensation still lingering on one side of his face made him think again and again of that earlier caress.
It had felt like a reward.
…
The bathroom door opened. Through the curling steam, a pair of long legs extended from beneath the hem of a bathrobe. Dark hair hung down like seaweed. Hot water had dyed his pale lips a vivid red, and even the casual glance he cast over carried a moist, seductive feel.
Pei Zhi had been sitting on the floor, fiddling with his phone, but the instant Xie Ning appeared in his line of sight, his gaze locked onto him.
Xie Ning asked, “Why are you sitting here instead of on the sofa or the bed?”
Supporting himself with one hand on the floor, Pei Zhi stood up smoothly. “Didn’t want to get them wet.”
[Wife might want to sit on the sofa later. Can’t let wife’s sofa get dirty.]
Pei Zhi was wearing a bathrobe too, but after soaking in the hot spring, the inside was still damp. If he sat on the bed or the sofa, some of the water would inevitably soak into them.
He had never forgotten that Xie Ning had a cleanliness obsession.
Pei Zhi said, “You got some calls just now. It seemed urgent. They called a lot. But I didn’t know who it was. I didn’t look at your phone.”
Xie Ning’s hair was still a little wet. Transparent drops fell from the ends, darkening parts of the robe into pale gray. He casually dried his hair with one hand while unlocking his screen with the other.
It was Qi Ran and Shi Qingyu.
They had called many times in a row. In the end, only Shi Qingyu had kept calling. They both knew that Xie Ning did not like checking WeChat messages, so if something was urgent, they would call directly.
“Thank…” Xie Ning suddenly remembered that close friends should not be too formal with each other. He swallowed the rest of his thanks. “You should go shower first. I’m going to call my friend back.”
The bathrobe outlined his slim, narrow frame, tied at the waist so that his middle looked almost slender enough to grasp in one hand.
A faint pink glowed beneath his translucent skin. When he spoke, his lips parted slightly, and the sweet scent of mixed fruit wine quietly drifted through the air.
Pei Zhi desperately wanted not to notice details like that, but it was impossible. He gave a quiet “Mm,” then suggested, “Do you want to go to the private screening room later? The viewing area in the suite is very private. There won’t be so many people, and the environment is cleaner too.”
It was still early. Watching a movie to pass the time sounded nice.
Xie Ning opened his phone’s notes and added a checkmark after “soak in a hot spring together.” “Sure. Then I’ll see if there are any newly released movies.”
Xie Ning stepped out into the courtyard. In the night breeze, he returned the call, and it was picked up almost instantly.
“Ge, where are you? Help me out here…” It was Shi Qingyu’s number, but the voice that came through was Qi Ran’s. They were probably together.
Xie Ning said, “Slow down and explain.”
Qi Ran’s emotions rose and fell so wildly that he still failed to explain clearly after a long time. In the end, Shi Qingyu took over. “It’s still about the online dating thing. Qi Ran started an online relationship with a man, and the other party told him to think it over carefully. He thought about it for a long time and decided to stop the loss in time, but then the other party asked to meet one last time.”
“After meeting, Qi Ran discovered that… maybe being with a man isn’t completely impossible.”
Xie Ning: “…?”
Qi Ran wailed, “What do you mean maybe being with a man isn’t impossible? I’m still thinking, okay? Ge, I’m seriously straight. He’s just not like I imagined. But I just can’t let it go, do you get that? Do you?”
Xie Ning answered honestly, “Not really.”
Shi Qingyu said helplessly, “Qi Ran has been looking for you, but he couldn’t find you, so he came to the hospital and signed up for a psychological consultation with me… but it seems like he only listens to what you say. Are you free now? If you are, we can meet and talk, and while we’re at it, we can also discuss what you mentioned before.”
Qi Ran did not know about Xie Ning’s skin hunger syndrome, so Shi Qingyu phrased it more vaguely.
Not long ago, Xie Ning had sent Shi Qingyu a message saying that he would try the treatment plan Shi Qingyu had suggested.
Shi Qingyu had been very pleased, but Xie Ning had not given any feedback afterward. He was worried that something had gone wrong in the process, and even more worried that the condition had worsened.
The sound of running water in the bathroom continued. After thinking it over, Xie Ning said, “It’s not very convenient today. I’m going to watch a movie later.”
“A movie? Since when are you interested in movies, Ge? Didn’t you never like those before?” Qi Ran asked, confused. “With a friend? Or a date?”
Xie Ning said, “A friend.”
Xie Ning really did not watch many movies. Even when he did, it was usually for a purpose.
For example, extracting costume elements from classic films or looking for inspiration. He rarely watched with leisure and entertainment in mind.
Xie Ning said, “I should have time tomorrow. Let’s meet then when we can.”
The call ended, and the sound of water in the bathroom stopped.
Heat rushed out all at once. When Xie Ning turned his head, he saw Pei Zhi stepping out of the bathroom.
The bathrobe hung loosely on his body. The belt at his waist had been tied carelessly, and the neckline formed a deep V that opened all the way down to his abs.
His shoulders were broad, his muscles taut and sharply defined, and droplets of water slid slowly down the clearly segmented ridges of his abdomen, disappearing into a faint V-line. His steps were long and confident, and the robe looked as though it might fall open at any moment.
The way he strode over made him look like a wolfdog spotting a meaty bone.
Stopping in front of Xie Ning, Pei Zhi asked casually, “Finished with the call?”
“Mm. Finished.”
Xie Ning’s gaze traveled from Pei Zhi’s chest to his abs, then drifted faintly downward. More or less gone already.
Then he looked back up at Pei Zhi’s face. “Should we go to the screening room now? Should we ask Gu Nian and Chen Xi too? They’ve been @-ing us in the group the whole time.”
What would be the point of bringing them into their two-person world? Pei Zhi said, “No.”
The floor their suite was on was extremely quiet. As they walked, Xie Ning did not see any other guests at all.
The screening room was like a private cinema. Inside the spacious room was a projector, and directly in front of the screen there were no seats, only a double bed. There were high armrests on both sides of the bed, so even rolling around on it would not send anyone to the floor.
The refrigerator nearby was packed with food and drinks. On the coffee table, a bottle of golden champagne stood in an ice bucket. Beside it was a fragrant bouquet of red roses and lit triangular French candles.
Xie Ning said, “Isn’t this a bit too much?”
He refused to believe that the hotel would have arranged the room like this without Pei Zhi’s instructions.
But Pei Zhi only asked, “Don’t you like it?”
Xie Ning said, “It’s not that. It’s romantic, and beautiful, but…”
Pei Zhi asked again, “Do you like it?”
Xie Ning said, “I do.”
In the enclosed room, Pei Zhi seemed much more relaxed, so much so that even his features softened. Lowering his head in front of Xie Ning, he reached out and hooked a finger around the loose strand of hair by Xie Ning’s ear. “As long as you like it, that’s enough. There’s no but.”
Xie Ning asked, “Why did you give me flowers?”
Pei Zhi said, “Trying to win you over a little.”
The loose strand did not get tucked behind Xie Ning’s ear. Instead, after Pei Zhi’s fiddling, it drifted toward the corner of his eye. The soft strands brushed both Xie Ning’s eye and Pei Zhi’s fingers like feathers.
And Pei Zhi seemed to be enjoying himself too much to stop, repeatedly touching Xie Ning’s hair with his fingers.
In the end, Xie Ning felt helpless and tilted his head slightly. Then a hot palm landed at the corner of his eye—it was Pei Zhi’s hand, stroking there.
At first it was only the corner of his eye. Then it was his cheek. Pei Zhi’s hand settled against one side of Xie Ning’s face, and the broadness of it made Xie Ning’s face look even smaller.
“It tickles a little,” Xie Ning said, still trying to avoid him. But Pei Zhi stepped closer, and Xie Ning’s back met the wall. On all sides of him was the cold, crisp scent of Pei Zhi’s body.
“Other than tickling?” Pei Zhi asked. “Do you dislike this level of contact?”
Xie Ning lifted his clear, cool eyes. “Doctor Pei, we’ve already had much more intimate contact than this.”
In other words, this amount of contact hardly counted for anything at all to him, and there was no question of dislike.
“Then it looks like the treatment intensity isn’t high enough.” Slowly, Pei Zhi raised Xie Ning’s face. Under the warm light, Xie Ning’s face was flawless. Pei Zhi’s Adam’s apple moved before he asked in a low voice, “So what you mean is… we can get even more intimate?”
“Isn’t that up to you?” Xie Ning said. “You’re the doctor. You decide.”
Xie Ning allowed him to keep lifting his face.
When he said that, there was a trace of carelessness in his tone, the words light and airy, as though he were teasing him casually.
His long lashes, still damp, curled in disarray. That cool face now carried a trace of alluring softness, and in this suggestive atmosphere, it sparked endless imagination.
His lips were wet and glossy, parting and closing as he spoke, revealing the faint shine of moisture on his tongue and a flash of red.
He looked extraordinarily fresh and edible.
Something one very much wanted to lower one’s head and taste.
The dark color of Pei Zhi’s eyes deepened, and his thoughts began to run wild.
Almost as though speaking to himself, Pei Zhi murmured, “Anything is okay?”
[Pin wife down on a clean white hospital bed, draw the curtain, and begin desensitization treatment. At first, simple contact doesn’t seem to improve things, so we need more intimate contact. I have wife lie down for a full, detailed examination. We need to insert instruments inside for assisted treatment.]
[But I’m an upright doctor, so wife can do that kind of thing himself. I tell wife to go behind the curtain and insert the instrument before I come in, so the follow-up examination will go smoothly.]
[Wife is silly and very obedient, hugging his legs and trying hard to insert the examination instrument himself…]
[But wife is too small, and the tool gets stuck inside. Wife can’t take it out, so with tears in his eyes, he parts the curtain and asks me for help…]
Xie Ning’s pupils widened slowly in shock.
He met Pei Zhi’s eyes. Pei Zhi’s expression had not changed at all. He still wore that same aloof face.
His appearance was proper, but his thoughts were rough.
Xie Ning could not help thinking that Pei Zhi’s inner world was actually this wild…?
