Chapter 47
Xie Ning’s mind was still foggy. Everything Pei Zhi said went into his ears like a mass of encrypted text.
It was as though he understood, and yet also didn’t. He stared blankly at Pei Zhi for a moment before finally coming back to himself.
Pressing his lips together, Xie Ning turned his head away. “You’re talking like that again.”
He didn’t reject being intimate with Pei Zhi, nor did he mind flirting with him, but… he still couldn’t quite handle the way Pei Zhi would say those vulgar, explicit things in such a serious, matter-of-fact tone.
It was too strange.
Pei Zhi loved looking at Xie Ning’s face. Resting his chin on Xie Ning’s shoulder, he reached out and turned Xie Ning’s face back toward him. Both of Xie Ning’s cheeks were flushed, even his fingertips had turned pink, and the tip of his nose was rubbed red.
He looked so pitiful.
Pei Zhi stuck out his tongue and licked away the tears at the corners of Xie Ning’s eyes, coaxing him softly, “Then I won’t talk like that anymore, baby.”
“Pay attention to me, okay?”
Every time afterward, Pei Zhi would put on this tender, affectionate act. His attitude would turn impossibly gentle, his posture impossibly humble.
But Xie Ning knew it was all an illusion. After all, he had clearly felt just how fierce and brutal Pei Zhi had been moments ago, like a starving wolf finally given meat, as though he wanted to chew Xie Ning to pieces and swallow him whole.
What Xie Ning found most impossible to understand was that, from his own perspective, this had already been far too much. Yet to Pei Zhi, it had apparently only counted as a taste. Even now, heat still smoldered in Pei Zhi’s brows and eyes, like… he still hadn’t been fed enough.
Xie Ning caught his breath twice and let Pei Zhi continue licking away his tears. “You always say you won’t, but… every single time, you still go too far.”
Pei Zhi seemed to smile. He kissed Xie Ning’s cheek. “So I’m really that bad.”
Xie Ning nodded faintly.
And somehow, he looked rather obedient doing it.
“My baby is the good one. Come here, let me kiss you.” Pei Zhi gathered him closer and sucked lightly at his lips. “Good baby.”
That strange feeling only grew stronger.
Xie Ning leaned against Pei Zhi’s chest, his mind a complete mess, while Pei Zhi combed through his hair, wiped his tears, and then carried him into the bathroom to bathe him.
There were many things he could have done himself, but Pei Zhi insisted on doing them for him. All Xie Ning had to do was lean against him. Looking down, he watched as Pei Zhi used a damp towel to wipe his legs clean. Some of it had already dried, while some was still wet.
In a daze, Xie Ning thought:
Pei Zhi really did seem to be raising him like a little baby.
…
This bath took a long time. Steam filled the bathroom. Xie Ning leaned against Pei Zhi the entire time, drowsiness slowly sweeping over him and pulling his mind deeper and deeper into heaviness.
“Baby?”
Xie Ning nodded off for a second, then opened his eyes in confusion. Through the hazy steam, his gaze was scattered and unfocused, and his voice came out very soft. “Are we done washing?”
“Mm, we’re done.” Pei Zhi had washed him very carefully. He could tell Xie Ning was exhausted, and was afraid he might fall asleep on the spot, so he’d called to him. One hand steady at Xie Ning’s waist, he said, “Just stay awake a little longer. I’ll dry you off.”
If he stayed damp, he might catch cold.
Xie Ning responded with a sleepy hum.
He truly was at the end of his endurance. He was used to early nights and early mornings to begin with, and on top of that, they’d done one exhausting thing after another. If Pei Zhi hadn’t kept talking to him, he probably would have closed his eyes and fallen asleep already.
Xie Ning let Pei Zhi pat away the moisture on his body. He was docile to an almost unbelievable degree—when Pei Zhi asked him to lift an arm, he lifted it; when he was told to part his knees, he parted them. Pei Zhi couldn’t help wondering if, at this point, even if he asked Xie Ning to do something else entirely, he would probably nod foolishly and agree.
“Done.”
After saying that, Pei Zhi had Xie Ning temporarily lean against the sink while he hung the towel back up. The moment he turned around again, he was met with Xie Ning’s sleepy eyes.
“Come on, baby.”
Just as Pei Zhi was about to pick him up, Xie Ning suddenly moved.
He slowly tipped his face up, cheeks lightly flushed in the misty light. Soft fingers lightly hooked around Pei Zhi’s, and he let out a very quiet “Mm.”
That soft touch in his palm hit Pei Zhi like a sudden blow to the heart. He froze there.
Xie Ning stood in front of him, lashes trembling faintly, a little confused, as if wondering why Pei Zhi still hadn’t picked him up yet.
Before that puzzled look could linger too long, Pei Zhi had already scooped him up, exactly as he expected.
The moment Xie Ning touched the bed, something heavy pressed in beside him, and his body grew warm again—Pei Zhi was right there, wrapping around him.
When they weren’t under the covers, holding each other this closely really did feel nice. But now that they were in bed, with the heater set so high, Pei Zhi’s body temperature felt almost too hot.
Xie Ning frowned and pushed at him, but couldn’t move him. Softly, he said, “Turn the heat down a little. It’s too warm.”
“Okay.” Pei Zhi reached over to adjust the control panel, then went to the little bar area and poured hot water and warm water into insulated cups. After checking the temperature until it felt about right, he placed them by the bed.
“Want a little water?” Pei Zhi lifted the covers again and settled Xie Ning back into his arms.
Xie Ning kept his eyes shut. He was too sleepy to care about anything. “No. I’m tired.”
“Then give me a kiss,” Pei Zhi said. “A goodnight kiss.”
Just as the kiss was about to land, Xie Ning lifted a hand and covered Pei Zhi’s mouth. “Don’t you think… we’ve been a little too indulgent?”
“Not really?” Pei Zhi spoke against Xie Ning’s palm, the sweet scent and warmth all around him. “We’re young. It’s normal for young people to have stronger desires.”
Xie Ning: “…”
What Pei Zhi said wasn’t untrue, but his desires seemed a little too strong.
Sometimes Xie Ning genuinely couldn’t tell who the one with skin hunger really was.
“Me.” Pei Zhi nuzzled into his neck with sticky affection. “I just like clinging to you. Wife, baby, my darling, my precious. I like you so much.”
“I’m not your wife yet.”
“Then you’re my baby, my darling.”
The pet names rolled off Pei Zhi’s tongue one after another. But once he brought up skin hunger, something occurred to him. “Before this, I actually really thought I had skin hunger too, so I even tried booking a doctor online.”
Xie Ning grew curious. “And then?”
Pei Zhi said, “It’s kind of funny thinking back on it now. I told the doctor I loved sticking to you and hated it when other people got close to you, and asked if that meant I had skin hunger.”
“What did the doctor say?”
“He said it wasn’t skin hunger,” Pei Zhi answered. “He said I just liked you.”
Xie Ning froze.
Lifting Xie Ning’s face, Pei Zhi rubbed their noses together. “I like you so much I thought I’d gotten skin hunger too.”
He looked as though he wanted to kiss him again, but Xie Ning frowned and pressed a hand to his lips. “That’s not skin hunger. That’s just being horny.”
Pei Zhi raised an eyebrow. “Maybe it really is. Does Doctor Xie have a treatment plan for me too? Maybe I need some desensitization therapy?”
“How would that even work…”
“We just keep doing it.” Pei Zhi looked at him. “Every day. From daytime until night. The moment we wake up, we do it. Even if you’re still asleep, I’ll wake you up by—”
“Pei Zhi!”
Xie Ning’s voice rose sharply, and Pei Zhi immediately softened. “I’m sorry, baby.”
Xie Ning’s face was burning.
And at the same time, he truly couldn’t understand how Pei Zhi could say things like that with such a straight face. He looked so serious on the outside, but who would have guessed…
Pei Zhi was this filthy.
Pei Zhi had started to notice something: whenever Xie Ning got embarrassed, he would call him by his full name. He had done it before too, back when Pei Zhi had pinned him against the mirror and kissed him. Sometimes, when Xie Ning could no longer take it, he would cry out Pei Zhi’s name between kisses.
Pei Zhi loved hearing that.
But to him, Xie Ning’s habit of using his full name was incredibly foolish.
To Xie Ning, saying his full name might have worked like a safe word. As if by calling “Pei Zhi,” he could pull some of Pei Zhi’s reason back.
But to Pei Zhi, hearing Xie Ning say his name only worked as an aphrodisiac.
The two of them were thinking of completely different things.
Xie Ning closed his eyes, yet his mind kept replaying Pei Zhi’s earlier words. They were ridiculous.
What was most ridiculous of all was that they were clearly the truth. Pei Zhi probably really had imagined it—imagined them doing that day and night.
Xie Ning asked very seriously, “Is this really normal? I never think about this stuff every day.”
To him, intimacy was only a kind of seasoning in life. Like having a drink once in a while—pleasant if it happened, but also fine if it didn’t. But for Pei Zhi, it was more like three meals a day. He could skip one or two occasionally, but in the end, it still had to be there.
“That’s because you’re a good baby.” Xie Ning’s serious, almost innocent face was too adorable. Pei Zhi kneaded his cheek. “But I’m sure of one thing: I don’t actually have a sex addiction.”
“How did we get back to this again?” Xie Ning gave a small confused hum.
“If I really had a sex addiction, then I should be able to get turned on by anyone,” Pei Zhi said, touching Xie Ning’s face. “But I only want you.”
“Holding hands, hugging, kissing… sleeping together. Anything is fine, as long as it’s you.”
They were so close that the warm bedside lamp could only fit their faces in each other’s eyes.
Pei Zhi kept rubbing at Xie Ning’s cheek the way someone might turn over a treasure in their hands, completely unable to set it down, afraid that the second it left their sight someone else would steal it away. So they had to keep touching, just to reassure themselves that it still belonged to them.
That was the thought that came to Xie Ning then.
“Actually, I know you don’t have a sex addiction,” Xie Ning said. “I was just teasing you for being too lustful.”
“So my little baby is explaining because you think I got mad?” Pei Zhi lifted an eyebrow and brushed his fingertip against the point of Xie Ning’s chin. “I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you. Only losers lose their temper at their wife. I’m far too busy spoiling my wife.”
Then, seeing Xie Ning’s pink face, he added in a quiet voice, “Besides, how could I bear to be harsh with you?”
No wonder so many people fell for sweet words.
Apparently, there really was no one who didn’t like hearing something nice.
Xie Ning’s lips curved slightly. He’d been sleepy before, but after talking to Pei Zhi for a while, he felt a little more awake. He burrowed deeper into Pei Zhi’s arms and adjusted himself into a more comfortable position. “But you look fierce.”
He added, “And hard to get along with.”
Pei Zhi asked, “Was that your first impression of me?”
“Mm.” Xie Ning said, “When I first saw you in the dorm, I thought… you probably weren’t the kind of person who’d like me much. You looked like the type of guy who had a bad temper, didn’t talk much, was cold, and very opinionated and domineering—”
Pei Zhi pressed Xie Ning’s hand against his chest and leaned his own face against Xie Ning’s. “Go on.”
Under his palm, Pei Zhi’s heartbeat was strong, his body heat intense. Xie Ning said, “That’s all.”
“Actually, you weren’t wrong. I really am like that.” Pei Zhi said, “Our baby is so good at reading people. So smart.”
“You’re using that tone to coax me again.”
“It’s not coaxing. You really are smart.” After a pause, Pei Zhi smiled again. “No wonder.”
“No wonder you ignored me for so long after that. You didn’t want to get close to me or start dorm conflict, so you deliberately stayed away?”
And that wasn’t entirely off.
Pei Zhi had seemed like exactly the kind of person who’d be hard to deal with. But in the end, it hadn’t mattered. Xie Ning had never planned on socializing anyway, and had had no interest in turning his roommates into friends.
Still, compared to the other two lively roommates, Xie Ning had been particularly careful to stay out of Pei Zhi’s way.
After all, Pei Zhi had looked especially hard to get along with. Xie Ning didn’t want any unnecessary tension in the dorm. He only wanted to spend the rest of his campus life there peacefully.
But of course he couldn’t possibly admit that now.
“No,” he said. “You’re overthinking it.”
Xie Ning was terrible at lying. But it didn’t matter. Pei Zhi didn’t actually care whether he was lying or not. He took Xie Ning’s hand and pressed a light kiss to it, then leaned his face into Xie Ning’s palm.
Suddenly, Pei Zhi smiled. “I used to think you really disliked me. Back then, I kept wondering if I’d done something wrong and upset you somehow.”
“But I showered every day. I thought maybe you couldn’t stand the smell of sweat on me, so I started showering morning, noon, and night. I thought maybe the dorm wasn’t clean enough, so I hired cleaners to come. I also wondered if maybe I seemed too cold, but I never found an excuse to show concern, so I bought extra stock of all the daily-use brands you always used and waited until you ran out so I could replace them.”
Then Pei Zhi laughed a little at himself. “Do you know what’s weird? People can seem fearless most of the time, but at other times they’re complete cowards.”
“One time your detergent ran out. I kept thinking about whether I should tell you, but I couldn’t find a chance to talk to you—and I didn’t dare, because I was afraid you’d think I was some kind of creep for paying attention to your detergent bottle.”
Xie Ning’s eyes widened. “Then what happened?”
“I did something incredibly stupid.”
Pei Zhi said, “I poured the detergent I bought into your empty bottle. Every time you were almost out, I’d top it up.”
Xie Ning was astonished. “No wonder… I kept wondering why that small bottle of detergent lasted so long.”
He laughed quietly too. “I even thought, wow, this brand really is durable.”
“Wouldn’t you ever have suspected someone might be putting something else in there?” Pei Zhi asked. “What if I’d poured something weird into it?”
“I had no enemies in the dorm, so it wouldn’t even occur to me. I don’t have paranoia.” Xie Ning said. “Besides… I’m usually busy. I never opened it up to check. I just assumed I’d misremembered how much I’d used.”
“So it turns out classmate Pei has been secretly doing good deeds.”
“Because you’re my wife.”
“Do you not realize how strange it is to secretly refill someone’s detergent?”
“No.” Pei Zhi said. “Anyway, I just want to be good to you. If it’s being good to you, then it’s not strange.”
That was what confused Xie Ning most. Why had Pei Zhi so firmly decided he was his wife? Why did he have to be good to him?
Thinking back now, perhaps those earliest inner thoughts had been nothing more than Pei Zhi’s subconscious leaning toward him—bias Pei Zhi himself had never noticed.
Slowly, Xie Ning lifted his eyes. “Why do you like me?”
“I don’t know why.” Pei Zhi answered immediately. “I just liked you a lot the first time I saw you.”
“And every time after that, the more I looked at you, the more I liked you.”
It was just that he hadn’t realized yet that this kind of liking was different from ordinary liking.
Before he even noticed it himself, his heart had already leaned.
Something stirred softly in Xie Ning’s chest. Wrapped in Pei Zhi’s arms, warm and almost too hot, his skin hunger felt deeply satisfied. At the same time, he felt safe.
“I refilled your detergent for that long. Don’t I get a reward?” Pei Zhi looked up, his gaze hot and obvious on Xie Ning’s face. In a low voice, he said, “Can I have a goodnight kiss?”
They’d already kissed so many times that day. Another kiss?
Before Xie Ning could answer, his mouth gave a small sting. He must have tugged at a tender spot. His lips still held that swollen, aching soreness.
Because of how much kissing they had done, his mouth wasn’t just swollen—it was slightly split too. But then again, Pei Zhi wasn’t in much better shape.
There was a clear bite mark on his lips, left by Xie Ning. It had been deep enough to draw blood. And yet Pei Zhi had ignored it and kept kissing him anyway, as though the taste of blood had only roused him more.
It was too obvious.
Kissing was fine.
But kissing like today had already gone far past what was reasonable.
That couldn’t continue. Xie Ning thought.
So he said, “We’ve kissed enough today. Let each other’s mouths rest a little, okay?”
“But my mouth doesn’t need rest.”
Then, looking at Xie Ning’s overly swollen lips, Pei Zhi corrected himself. “Then how about I only kiss your face? I won’t touch your mouth.”
If Xie Ning said yes, then right now it would only be his cheek, but afterward maybe the corner of his eye, then the tip of his nose… and eventually, of course, back to his mouth, and into a deep, heated kiss.
Xie Ning knew that pattern too well.
He’d already been tricked several times. This time, he refused to be fooled again.
He pushed Pei Zhi’s face away. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
Pei Zhi still made one last effort, but Xie Ning turned a damp, puzzled gaze on him. “Didn’t you say you’d listen to everything I said?”
“Pei Zhi, are you lying to me?”
Pei Zhi froze.
He stared at Xie Ning for a long time without speaking. On one side was the goodnight kiss, and on the other was his own integrity. He desperately wanted to sacrifice the latter for the former, but in the end he still forced himself to restrain the most primitive urge.
Grinding his teeth, he said, “Alright. No kissing. I’ll listen to you, baby. Tomorrow.”
“Not necessarily tomorrow. I said we’ll talk about it later.” Xie Ning said. “Today my mouth really hurts. You kissed me too long. And… your tongue was too rough.”
Anyone would have trouble taking that.
Pei Zhi lowered his neck, his shadow completely covering Xie Ning’s face, their cheeks almost touching. Xie Ning turned away slightly. “Don’t get so close.”
Pei Zhi said “okay,” and technically pulled back a little, but they were still extremely close. “Did I really make you that uncomfortable back there?”
“It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, it’s just…” Xie Ning struggled for the right word. “It was too much.”
Kissing someone you liked really was pleasurable. But once anything crossed a certain line, reached a certain limit, it started to become frightening.
That sense that things might slip out of control at any second, that he might be dragged somewhere unknown—Xie Ning found that very frightening, even if it did feel good.
“How exactly was I moving my tongue?” Pei Zhi asked. “Baby, can you show me?”
Maybe because Pei Zhi’s expression was so serious, and because he looked genuinely curious, Xie Ning really thought he was trying to discuss this properly so he wouldn’t do it wrong next time.
So the small wet red tongue peeked out from his swollen lips, glimmering with moisture. Xie Ning tried very hard to imitate the way Pei Zhi had kissed him.
Far from looking aggressive, the tiny tongue in the air just trembled shyly, looking exactly like something that might be sucked up and devoured any second. Instead of ferocity, it only made him look even more enticing.
A very obvious swallowing sound came from Pei Zhi.
Xie Ning froze.
The moment he saw the dark hunger in Pei Zhi’s eyes, he immediately understood—he’d been coaxed and tricked again.
At once, he drew his tongue back in, shut his eyes, and turned his back to him. “I’m never trusting you again.”
“What now, baby? I didn’t do anything.” Pei Zhi hugged him from behind. Not happy at all with only seeing Xie Ning’s back, he turned him back around and locked both arms around his waist, like a dragon clinging to its favorite treasure.
“I was just imagining it. Thinking how over the line I really was, kissing you like that. How could I be such a bad person.”
“Our baby worked so hard. Your tongue even got eaten red.”
The fingers resting on his shoulder curled in slightly. Even his tightly shut eyelids wrinkled a little with shame.
“Stop talking. I’m going to sleep.”
“Okay. I won’t talk.” Seeing how red Xie Ning’s ears had become, Pei Zhi’s eyes filled with quiet laughter. He lowered his head wanting to kiss him, remembered he wasn’t allowed, and only rubbed the tip of his nose against Xie Ning’s earlobe instead. His lips hovered by Xie Ning’s ear as he whispered, “Good night, good baby.”
Xie Ning’s ear grew even hotter.
Lately, Pei Zhi had started using all kinds of new nicknames, more intimate and more ambiguous than before. Especially the way he said them—it was always… mortifying.
Then suddenly, Xie Ning heard a very familiar sound.
[Wife is so cute, so good, so pretty.]
[But wife is so silly too. I say jump and you jump. Before too—when I told you to clamp down, you did; when I told you to stick out your tongue, you did.]
[Such an obedient baby.]
[Ningning, good baby, so fuckable.]
Xie Ning frowned in shock.
That was… Pei Zhi’s inner voice?
He hadn’t heard it in so long that his first instinct was to reach over and touch Pei Zhi’s mouth to see if he was talking in his sleep.
Pei Zhi wasn’t asleep. “What is it?”
“…Nothing.” Xie Ning said. “Just stop talking now. I really need to sleep.”
Pei Zhi immediately shut his mouth. He only gave a simple “Mm” to show he absolutely wouldn’t talk anymore.
[The way wife gives orders is so hot. So fuckable.]
[And wife is really sensitive… Is that because of the skin hunger? So easy to make weak in the knees and lose strength. Or is it that just kissing is enough to push wife into something close to climax? That’s what Baidu said before.]
[Just a kiss and wife’s whole body goes limp, has to sit and lean entirely against me, and I have to hold you by the waist… poor wife, so exhausting. My poor baby.]
[Next time let’s do it while I’m holding you.]
[Wife doesn’t have to do anything. Just sit on me and I’ll hold you and fuck you ^^. Hehehe, so fuckable, so fuckable.]
Xie Ning finally snapped. “Pei Zhi.”
“Mm?”
“Are you not sleepy?”
“I am.” Pei Zhi squeezed closer. “Baby, hold me.”
Xie Ning listened for a bit longer. Nothing.
Just when he thought Pei Zhi had finally settled down, his thoughts started wandering all over again.
[What do I do… wife is so soft and comfortable to hold.]
[I’m getting hard again.]
[No, I can’t disturb wife’s sleep. Wife needs rest.]
[But wife’s skin is so smooth and soft, and when wife sleeps, you’re so good and sleep so deeply. If I just sneak inside, wife probably wouldn’t even notice. And before I do, I’d suck wife a little first… and wife is silly, so even if the sheets really got wet, you’d probably think you’d just peed yourself.]
Xie Ning: “……”
He would not think he had wet the bed.
At this point, Xie Ning had figured it out.
The only inner thoughts he seemed able to hear anymore were the truly unhinged ones—especially when Pei Zhi got excited and started imagining all sorts of inappropriate nonsense. Those he could hear very clearly, and in great detail.
He had once wondered why he suddenly stopped hearing Pei Zhi’s thoughts, but hadn’t thought too much of it after all. Inner thoughts were private, after all.
If he knew someone else could hear the things in his head, it would be absurd. He had even considered telling Pei Zhi about it…
[Is wife asleep?]
[I really want to pull back the blanket and look. Wife’s all pink. So cute.]
[Though I already sucked it all red. ^O^]
Xie Ning sighed soundlessly.
If these were the kinds of thoughts he was going to hear, then really, it was better not to hear them at all.
