Chapter 47: “Wife, Hurry Up And Get Into Bed, We…”
Nothing is worse than a sudden, dead silence.
Across the threshold, inside and outside the room, the two stared blankly at each other.
Never having experienced such an agonizingly awkward scene before, Feng Xun opened his mouth. Just as he squeezed out, “Little Tang, let me explain…”, the youth outside turned on his heel and bolted, rushing back to his bedroom and slamming the door shut with a loud bang.
“Little Tang!”
Feng Xun quickly pursued him, but the youth had locked his door. Unable to get in, he could only knock from the outside.
“Little Tang, it’s… it’s not what you think,” he explained dryly. “I just wanted to check if that shirt needed to go into the hamper…”
Even he found the excuse laughably fake the moment it left his mouth.
It wasn’t as if it needed to be thrown into the washing machine for an immediate cleaning. Couldn’t he just leave it hanging there for its proper owner to deal with?
Besides, even if a bout of obsessive-compulsive disorder had flared up and he just had to verify the status of the clothing, one sniff should have been more than enough. Did he really need to take another sniff, and then another?
To put it bluntly, he was a pervert.
A massive pervert who craved the body scent of a beautiful youth.
Meanwhile, He Mengxing was fast asleep when his system panel suddenly popped up, indicating his friend “Killer 444” had sent a message.
Killer 444: [I think… I might be a pervert.]
He Mengxing: “???”
What kind of episode is this guy having in the middle of the night? Last time he was a beast, this time he’s a pervert. Did he get caught red-handed stealing his sister-in-law’s underwear or something?
On the other side of the apartment, Jian Tang, having bolted back into his bedroom, was frantically messaging Little Yu on his system panel.
Jian Tang: [It’s over!! It’s over, it’s over, it’s completely over!! My wife really is pregnant!!!]
Jian Tang: [I saw him hiding in the bathroom, holding my clothes and secretly sniffing them!! This is a textbook case of pathological attachment flare-up!! It absolutely is!!]
The shock to his core was far too overwhelming. A completely broken Jian Tang spammed the chat wildly with dozens of messages, finally jolting Little Yu online.
Little Yu: [???]
Little Yu: [Is… is that for real?]
Jian Tang: [It’s completely real!! I saw it with my own eyes!! There’s no way this is just some regular lover behavior now, right???]
Little Yu: […Um, that does indeed look like a pregnancy symptom.]
Jian Tang: [Ahhhhhh, I’m a dead man! When he starts showing, my wife is going to be absolutely furious and beat me to death! When he gets terrifying, he is super, super terrifying!!]
Seeing his friend so violently worked up, Little Yu offered some gentle comfort.
Refreshed, Little Yu: [Just because one symptom matches up doesn’t mean it’s a one hundred percent confirmed pregnancy.]
Little Yu: [Look on the bright side. What if he’s just a pervert?]
Jian Tang: [My wife is so wonderful, how could he possibly be a pervert QAQ! He absolutely isn’t!! He must be pregnant!!]
The facts were undeniable, the ironclad evidence solid. The two small monsters were completely at a loss as to what to do next.
Listlessly, Little Yu: [If you’re really sure he’s pregnant… you need to prepare yourself for the moment he eventually finds out.]
Jian Tang: [Wuwuwuwuwu… wuwuwu…]
Little Yu: [You don’t need to be so pessimistic either. Based on your descriptions, I feel like your wife really likes you. I’ve heard that humans are highly willing to reproduce for the person they love. Even if he’s a human male, as long as he loves you deeply, he should be able to overcome the psychological barrier. He won’t get violently enraged and want to beat you to death.]
Jian Tang blinked back the tears welling in his eyes. Sniffling, he typed out his response with tear-filled eyes.
Jian Tang: [Is… is that true? You think my wife will forgive me?]
Little Yu: [I feel like he will… He must be noticing these anomalous behaviors himself, right? But he hasn’t said a word to you, choosing to bear it all on his own instead. This shows that he’d rather suffer in silence than make you worry. He’s the stoic type of partner who values his companion’s peace of mind over his own feelings.]
Little Yu: [This kind of person usually has an immense capacity for endurance. Even if he finds out you’re an eerie monster, he’ll be able to process and internalize it on his own. The two of you can definitely keep living together.]
Jian Tang read over these two paragraphs again and again, falling into deep thought.
True enough.
He had been unilaterally panicking about his own situation, completely forgetting to stand in his wife’s shoes and consider his feelings.
His wife had inexplicably gotten pregnant with a cub, inexplicably developed a pathological attachment to him, and was forced to hide in the bathroom in the dead of night to secretly sniff his clothes. His wife… he didn’t want this either.
When other human wives on the forum got pregnant with babies, they had giant monsters meticulously caring for them and doting on them. But what had he done?
He was evading reality, shirking responsibility, refusing to face it, and had even locked his wife out of his room, refusing to let him in.
“…”
Jian Tang wanted to cry again—crying for his poor, unfortunate wife.
I am genuinely a horrible person.
I am practically a beast!
[Thank you, Little Yu.]
Jian Tang sent the message with absolute determination in his eyes, the prior panic and bewilderment swept entirely clean.
[I know exactly what to do now!!]
—
Feng Xun sat at his desk, his phone resting before him. The screen was frozen on his chat interface with “Little Tangxin.”
Since the youth had locked himself away and refused to see him, he could only communicate via text messages.
But as for what exactly to write, he drafted version after version, completely dissatisfied with every single one.
Just as he was about to draft his tenth version of a “Detailed Explanation of the Incident in the Bathroom Tonight and a Letter of Guarantee to Never Commit It Again,” a sudden knock vibrated against his door.
“Wife, are you asleep?”
It was Little Tang’s voice.
His tone was calm and natural, not sounding violently enraged or angry at all.
Feng Xun rose immediately and pulled the door open, finding the youth standing outside.
The boy’s eyes were a bit red, and his voice carried a slight nasality, looking as though he had just wept.
“…”
Feng Xun’s conscience suffered a violent, stinging prick.
Little Tang was a pure, innocent child. Suddenly discovering the “true colors” of his “wife,” his rose-tinted glasses had shattered, leaving it too difficult to accept. He must have locked himself in his room and wailed his heart out… it had to be that.
He genuinely wanted to give himself a harsh slap.
How had he failed to restrain his hands back then?
To have brought such severe psychological trauma upon Little Tang.
“Little Tang,” Feng Xun spoke with a heavy heart, “I…”
Before his voice could even fall, a bundle of things was shoved into his hands.
Feng Xun looked down, completely freezing up.
It was a bundle of clothes.
“These are for you first.” Jian Tang cast a glance at his wife, appearing a bit sheepish. “The ones I picked out are all things I wear frequently, and they’ve all been washed completely clean… Is this okay?”
Feng Xun was utterly dazed.
Seeing his wife freeze without a single reaction, Jian Tang nervously twiddled his fingers, his cheeks flushing a bit pink as he murmured in a tiny voice.
“Or… do you want the kind that hasn’t had the chance to be washed yet? I-I don’t have that kind of stock on hand right now; the ones I wore today have already been thrown into the washing machine and cleaned… How about you wait another day, wife? I’ll give them to you tomorrow night.”
Feng Xun closed his eyes, then opened them again.
He closed them once more, and opened them once more.
Little Tang was still there, and the clothes were still there. This wasn’t some beautiful dream hallucinated by a desperate pervert right before being beaten to death by an enraged victim.
“Wife?”
Seeing that the other party remained completely motionless, Jian Tang felt a bit anxious.
“Is… is this still not enough?”
Feng Xun wiped his face forcefully, shoving the clothes straight back into the youth’s hands.
“Little Tang, thank you, but I don’t need this.”
They were shoved right back into his arms.
“No, you need them.” Jian Tang paused. He lifted his head, his gorgeous emerald eyes filled to the brim with absolute sincerity as he gazed earnestly at his wife.
“Wife, don’t suppress yourself. I understand how you feel. This is… a highly normal situation. There’s no need for you to blame yourself or feel ashamed. I understand, I truly do.”
The youth’s voice was incredibly gentle, like a crisp breeze sweeping across a wild meadow, tolerantly and softly soothing the silent, heavy earth.
“It’s my fault for being thoughtless, overlooking your feelings, and failing to perceive your desires. This is my mistake, wife. I’m sorry.”
Jian Tang opened his arms, giving the dazed man a forceful squeeze, burying his face into the man’s chest.
“Wife, if there’s anything else you want, just speak out boldly. No matter what it is, anything is fine.”
He stood on his tiptoes, lightly rubbing his forehead against the man’s cheek, resembling an obedient, sweet little deer nuzzling its beloved master.
“Wife, promise me, absolutely do not suffer in silence on your own, okay?”
Feng Xun: “…………”
He suspected that that dog-bastard Nightmare Duke had constructed a dreamscape trap specifically to assault his mind.
Either that, or a future version of himself had traversed through time and space to place a hex on Little Tang just to salvage this household that had almost been torn apart by his own actions.
Otherwise, was this logical? Was it logical??
…
At any rate, rejecting Little Tang was definitely illogical.
Thus, by the time Feng Xun snapped out of it, that bundle of clothes had already been placed squarely right beside his pillow.
“…”
How did I fail to restrain my hands again!
These clothes had clearly been picked out in a rush. Because it was hurried, they hadn’t been neatly folded either, and after the back-and-forth shoving between the two of them just now, the garments had turned into an even greater, jumbled mess.
Though messy, they were still incredibly fragrant. The entire bedroom seemed to be floating with the faint, refreshing scent of fresh grass left behind by the youth.
Feng Xun stayed silent for a brief moment. Bearing a wooden face, he began to fold the clothes.
Organizing them like this, he finally discovered that the clothes Little Tang had delivered actually held a specific order: a coat, a shirt, an inner lining, and pants—one of each item.
There was even… a pair of underwear.
Staring at that pair of white underwear dotted with yellow polka dots for a long while, Feng Xun silently pressed it down to the absolute bottom of the pile of clothes.
He had already acted like a beast once; he couldn’t continue his moral landslide and truly turn into a pervert.
Placing the neatly folded clothes by the head of the bed, Feng Xun resolved to return them to Little Tang the following day.
Right then, another knock resonated against his door.
“Wife, can I come in?”
Feng Xun sat straight up instantly, his gaze swiftly sweeping through the room.
It was highly tidy, not embarrassing, perfectly fit for viewing.
“Come in, Little Tang.”
He guessed the youth might have important words to share with him face-to-face.
The door swung open, and the youth clad in rabbit pajamas slipped inside like a nimble little animal.
“Wife, I thought about it, and just giving you clothes might still not be entirely enough.”
Jian Tang held his fluffy, massive pillow in his arms, while carrying his summer quilt over his shoulder.
“Can I sleep together with you tonight, wife?”
“…”
Deep breath. Close his eyes, open them. It wasn’t an illusion.
“Little Tang,” his dangling, precarious logic forced Feng Xun to painstakingly hold onto his final line of defense, “actually, you don’t need to…”
Jian Tang saw that his clothes had already been neatly folded by his wife, placed right beside the pillow—a position perfectly suited for cradling into one’s embrace during sleep.
His nose tingled with a wave of warmth, his heart softening into an absolute puddle, and he hopped straight onto the bed.
The stoic type of wife wouldn’t easily voice his own needs, so the head of the household had to be even more proactive and take initiative.
“Wife, hurry up and get into bed, let’s sleep together.”
Jian Tang shifted the clothes aside, smoothed down his own pillow, and turned around to wave at the person standing by the bedside, his smile as radiant as a blooming flower.
“Come on, come on. Let me soothe you to sleep, okay? Do you want to hear me read a bedtime story, or do you want me to sing a lullaby for you? Or if you just want to keep it quiet and cradle me to sleep, that works perfectly fine too.”
“…………”
Feng Xun painstakingly rolled his throat, suddenly feeling that—
Being a beast and a pervert was actually… completely fine.
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