Chapter 73
Within the span of just twenty-four hours, Lin Huaixi had been confessed to twice. Yet even the second time, he still had no experience at all. His mind went completely blank, and he lost control over his own body.
Only after he had run far away and tried to think back did he realize the memory was terribly blurry. He only remembered himself saying, “I’ll think about it.” No matter how hard he tried, everything else remained a blank.
Lin Huaixi let out a sigh, returned to the dorm in a daze, and buried himself beneath the blanket.
It was pitch-black all around him. The blanket gave him a sense of sealed-off safety. Only then did he throw away all the disguises he had been wearing and reveal his true feelings.
He had never, ever imagined that among the “they” who made Qi Wang jealous, Sun Baiyi would be included too!
No wonder he had never been able to figure out the right person before. He had ruled out the correct answer from the very beginning!!
From childhood to now, he had only ever had two best friends. Yet those two best friends had confessed to him one after another. He had failed to “save” even one of them.
The shock and impact of this hit Lin Huaixi hard. His mind was completely occupied by it, leaving him no room to think about who else might be included among “them.”
He had promised both of them that he would think it over carefully. But his thoughts were a tangled mess, with no loose end he could pull straight.
He and Qi Wang and Sun Baiyi were all good brothers. He could do anything for the two of them—but that did not include becoming their wife, wife-wife, wife!!
Lin Huaixi buried his head in the bed and screamed silently a few times, nearly going mad.
He did not eat dinner and never climbed down from his bed the entire night.
The next morning, they had an early class. Sun Baiyi dragged himself out of bed with great reluctance, picking at the corners of his eyes as he went to pull open the curtains.
Morning light spilled into the room. He noticed that the blanket on Lin Huaixi’s bed was still in exactly the same shape as before, bundled up into a small mound.
Surprised, he reached out and patted Lin Huaixi tentatively. “Are you awake?”
Lin Huaixi crawled out from under the blanket. His expression was blank, his eyes clear, not the least bit sleepy. He did not look like someone who had just woken up.
Liu Zhengnian saw the faint bluish shadows under his eyes and asked worriedly, “Did you sleep at all last night?”
Lin Huaixi nodded vaguely and turned over to climb down from the bed.
Seeing how bad his state was, Liu Zhengnian pressed further, “You were already off yesterday. Are you sick? Don’t force yourself if you really can’t manage.”
The instant he finished speaking, Lin Huaixi swayed twice. His blood sugar had dropped, and his vision went black. He only managed not to fall because he grabbed hold of the table beside him in time.
Startled, Liu Zhengnian immediately rushed over to steady him. “Don’t force it. I’ll go ask the professor for leave for you. Just stay in the dorm and rest today.”
Zhang Yunqiu also came over. “The two of us are both going to class. You’ll be the only one left in the dorm. What if something happens? You should just go to the hospital.”
Lin Huaixi smiled gratefully at both of them. “I’m not sick. I’m just too tired. If I sleep for a while, I’ll be fine.”
Only after checking again and again that he had no fever and no other symptoms did the two finally leave with peace of mind.
The dorm fell silent once more. Lin Huaixi lay flat on the bed and forcibly emptied his mind.
He was already exhausted. The blood vessels in his head pulsed and throbbed, and his eyes felt unbearably sore—his body had long been sending him warning signals, yet he still could not sleep.
He turned over and rested his head against the railing, just able to see Qi Wang’s empty bed.
He was not thinking about anything at all. He simply closed his eyes little by little and fell asleep in that position.
Liu Zhengnian and Zhang Yunqiu did not disturb him. Lin Huaixi slept straight through until evening, when a ringing phone finally woke him.
A trace of nervousness rose in him. He feared it might be Qi Wang or Sun Baiyi calling to ask for an answer. But when he saw the name on the caller ID, he finally relaxed.
“Xixi, you already promised to treat us to a meal before. You can’t go back on your word.”
Hearing Zong Nanze’s lazy, flirtatious voice, Lin Huaixi’s half-awake brain took a few seconds to process it before he remembered their earlier agreement. “I’m not backing out. I just wasn’t sure whether you two would be free lately.”
“I already asked Zhong Chongqiu. He’s free too,” Zong Nanze drawled. “You’re not going to stand us up just because of your good friend, are you?”
Lin Huaixi answered mechanically, “No. What do you want to eat? I’ll treat.”
“Then it’s settled.”
They exchanged a few more words, then hung up. When Lin Huaixi sat up, his joints cracked audibly. He moved around a little more before finally feeling as though his body had come back to life.
He could not think his way through any of this on his own and had no idea how to face Qi Wang. So he might as well find something else to do.
Lin Huaixi had always been brave since he was little and never avoided problems. But this time, the situation had gone beyond the limit of what he could bear, and instinctively he chose the option that felt easier for him.
He changed into a fresh set of clothes and, with his head still pounding, headed to the address Zong Nanze had sent him. From afar, he spotted the two men, both strikingly handsome even in the crowd.
Zong Nanze was dressed with a distinctly artistic flair. His slightly longer hair had been loosely gathered back into a small tail. When he smiled, people felt as if they were basking in spring sunshine. He made no effort at all to hide how deliberately he was radiating charm. Several people in the restaurant were already sneaking glances at him.
Zong Nanze clearly did not mind becoming the topic of others’ discussion. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it. After greeting Lin Huaixi, he slowly withdrew his gaze, letting it brush ever so lightly against a few other people’s eyes along the way, leaving behind a tender, suggestive smile.
Seeing this, Lin Huaixi could not help but grumble inwardly. This playboy had not changed one bit.
Still, Zong Nanze really had not dated anyone for quite a while now. Lin Huaixi honestly had no idea how he had managed to hold out.
Lin Huaixi walked over. The three of them all had different styles of looks, but their appearances were equally top-tier. Instantly, they became the focus of the entire restaurant.
After sitting down, Lin Huaixi shot Zong Nanze a look that was neither too heavy nor too light.
Lin Huaixi had always had a good temper, yet this time he revealed a more edged side of himself. Zong Nanze’s brow lifted slightly. Smiling, he said to the proprietress, “We’ve got quite a few people. Could we switch to a private room?”
The proprietress was already in a good mood just from looking at them and happily led them inside.
Once cut off from the eyes of strangers, the tension in Zhong Chongqiu’s face finally loosened. He handed the milk tea in his hand to Lin Huaixi.
Looking at the familiar cup and flavor, Lin Huaixi suddenly felt as if this milk tea had become a token between Zhong Chongqiu and himself, carrying memories and feelings that belonged only to the two of them.
His mind was still dull and slow. It took him a couple of seconds before he thanked Zhong Chongqiu.
Zhong Chongqiu frowned at him, his eyes full of concern. “Huaixi, what’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”
Lin Huaixi froze for a few seconds, then instinctively raised a hand to touch his own face.
He had looked in the mirror before coming out. His complexion had not seemed too bad. But his lifeless eyes had betrayed him.
“I’m fine.”
Seeing Lin Huaixi force a smile, Zhong Chongqiu opened his mouth, then shut it again, unable to bear exposing him.
Lin Huaixi also noticed the atmosphere turning stiff, so he took the initiative to change the subject. “Let’s order. What do you two like to eat?”
But Zong Nanze reached out and covered the menu. “Wait a few more minutes. Someone else hasn’t arrived yet.”
Lin Huaixi looked at him blankly, just about to ask who, when a familiar voice sounded from behind him.
“Am I late?”
Lin Huaixi’s body stiffened. He resisted the urge to turn around and stayed seated.
Instead, it was Zong Nanze, the supposed guest, who acted the most like the host. With great enthusiasm, he welcomed Sun Baiyi and even pulled out the chair beside Lin Huaixi for him.
Sun Baiyi had always been lively and noisy, like a silly dog with no brains, but after sitting down beside Lin Huaixi he merely pressed his lips together and lowered his head, not saying a word. The fact that something was off was written all over his face.
He stared at his water glass, his fingers rubbing unconsciously along its surface twice before he finally lifted his head and looked at Lin Huaixi with careful eyes. They were full of unease, but even more than that, hope—and utterly undisguised affection.
Across the table, Zong Nanze and Zhong Chongqiu took in the scene. Zhong Chongqiu’s expression changed on the spot, and his aura darkened.
But Sun Baiyi was immersed in pink love bubbles and could not pull himself free. He could not help wanting to get closer to Lin Huaixi.
Lin Huaixi smiled helplessly, passed him the menu, and spoke in a tone as if coaxing a child. “See if there’s anything you like. You order first.”
Sun Baiyi’s confession had truly troubled him, but it had not put too much pressure on him. Lin Huaixi could still interact with him naturally. He was only worried about how to reject him tactfully.
The moment Lin Huaixi spoke to him on his own initiative, Sun Baiyi’s eyes lit up. His grin nearly split his face open with joy. As though he had been entrusted with the most important mission in the world, he stared so hard at the menu that he looked ready to burn two holes straight through it.
Using those few moments, Lin Huaixi reflected and felt that he had done fairly well just now. He even regained some confidence in his ability to politely turn down the confessions of these two good friends.
As if in answer to that thought, the door behind him was pushed open.
The cool night breeze swept in, gently lifting the loose hair by his temple. Lin Huaixi’s lashes trembled lightly. He raised his eyes abruptly, and every confused thought in his mind vanished at once. The surroundings seemed to grow distant.
Even without seeing anything, he had the strong intuition that he had come.
At that instant, time slowed to a crawl. The sound of footsteps, accompanied by the quickening thud of his heartbeat, landed one step at a time on his hypersensitive nerves.
Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed the hem of a trench coat. He had bought that coat for Qi Wang. Without even needing to look at him, he could already picture Qi Wang in it—tall, refined, and impossibly striking.
That coat also tugged open a corner of his memories. One scene after another surfaced before him: he and Qi Wang both smiling, closer than anyone else in the world besides family—and yet now he did not even dare lift his head to look at him.
Lin Huaixi had originally meant to reach for his water glass, but once Qi Wang appeared, his fingers slowly withdrew and curled into a tight fist. His nails bit deep into his palm, yet he felt not a trace of pain.
Lin Huaixi’s emotions were leaking out so visibly that he almost lost control of his expression. Fortunately, Sun Baiyi blew up the moment he saw Qi Wang. The commotion he made was so great that it drew everyone’s attention.
“What are you doing here? Who invited you?”
“Hah, you’re haunting us. We didn’t order much food—there’s no portion for you!”
“Don’t give me that expression, like I’ve actually welcomed you or something…”
Then Sun Baiyi suddenly remembered something and accused, “And don’t even think about using this chance to complain to Xixi!”
With those few lines buying him time, Lin Huaixi took a deep breath and finally managed to pull his expression back together. He looked up helplessly toward Sun Baiyi and the others, but his eyes still only dared linger below neck level.
“Sun Baiyi, sit down when you talk. Are you not tired standing there? Oh, right, this place has your favorite lemon chicken feet. Want to try some?”
“Of course!” Sun Baiyi immediately beamed, scooting over affectionately and shooting Qi Wang a triumphant look on the way.
Lin Huaixi froze when he saw that.
Back then, Qi Wang and Sun Baiyi had always gotten along like this too. At the time, he had been blinded by the illusion of protagonist and scum gong and had never noticed the real meaning hidden in their behavior. Only now did he realize that this was clearly how love rivals acted toward each other.
This kind of interaction had been around for a long time already. Lin Huaixi narrowed his eyes, trying to remember when exactly it had started…
Could it be that Qi Wang and Sun Baiyi had liked him that early already?
Sun Baiyi was like an over-demanding, overenthusiastic big dog. Lin Huaixi had merely drifted off in thought for a few seconds before Sun Baiyi was dissatisfied, whining and nudging his head against him, insisting that Lin Huaixi talk to him.
It was also thanks to Sun Baiyi, this walking comedian, that Lin Huaixi had no room left to overthink.
The dishes were served quickly. Sun Baiyi started bickering with Zong Nanze again. Even without anyone else speaking, the atmosphere could hardly turn stale.
Qi Wang sat across from him. Lin Huaixi’s emotions were complicated. He did not dare look at him and could only pretend to focus on eating, stuffing food into his mouth over and over.
Then a long-fingered hand reached over and set a dish in front of him.
Lin Huaixi stared at the black mole at the base of the thumb for a dazed few seconds. Then, seeing the plate of fish with all the bones removed, he finally raised his eyes to Qi Wang for the first time and said in a quiet, restrained voice, “Thank you.”
Qi Wang still looked the same as usual. He smiled gently at him, as if nothing at all had ever happened between them.
Lin Huaixi pressed his lips together and lowered his head again.
Sun Baiyi was in the middle of arguing fiercely with Zong Nanze. Catching sight of that movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned sour at once.
Not only did Qi Wang know how to put on an act, he always loved playing these little tricks. Removing fish bones—so what? Like he could not do that too!
Sun Baiyi immediately rolled up his sleeves and got to work, grit his teeth, and battled with the fish on the plate. But by the time he had finally picked out all the bones and wanted to present the dish in front of Lin Huaixi for praise, his hand suddenly stopped.
When Qi Wang removed the bones, the fish meat still kept its original shape. But on Sun Baiyi’s plate, all that remained was a pile of mangled fish mush, mashed into miserable clumps by his chopsticks. It looked so unappetizing that even he had no desire to put it in his own mouth, much less shamelessly place it before Lin Huaixi.
Grinding his teeth, Sun Baiyi could only pretend nothing had happened and shove the plate aside with his elbow. Then he reached for the very last fish.
Lin Huaixi hurriedly stopped him. “There are only five fish in total. Leave one for the senior.”
Sun Baiyi had no choice but to give up with a resentful look. He glared at Qi Wang instead and prepared to pick another fight. The air was thick with gunpowder.
But Lin Huaixi had already run out of energy to deal with him.
In the past, every time Qi Wang picked the fish bones out for him, he would help Qi Wang pick out the cilantro in return. But this time, very few of the dishes had cilantro, and the leaves were obvious enough to avoid easily.
Lin Huaixi glanced at Qi Wang. After hesitating for a few seconds, he ultimately did not help.
The whole dinner was utter chaos. Lin Huaixi was barely coping himself and never even noticed the look of speculation in Zong Nanze’s eyes.
Zong Nanze, who had arranged this meal, should have been the person giving Lin Huaixi the worst headache. Yet he remained unusually quiet. Throughout the meal, he simply observed the three of them, his expression gradually turning more and more intrigued.
But he said nothing, as though he were simply enjoying a fascinating performance. Only when Qi Wang shot him a warning look did he restrain himself a little.
The meal lasted for two full hours. Lin Huaixi ate without tasting a single thing. It felt as though his stomach were filled with heavy stones, yet he still had to force a smile onto his face. Only after politely seeing everyone off did he finally drag himself back toward the dorm.
Their dorm building was relatively remote. The small roads around it were completely dark. When Lin Huaixi reached the brightly lit dorm entrance, he suddenly felt something in the depths of his being and turned around sharply.
Under the trees stood a tall figure. The darkness hid his face, but Lin Huaixi recognized him instantly.
Neither of them spoke. They simply looked at each other in silence. A few people returned to the dorm in the meantime, making the place momentarily busy and noisy, but Lin Huaixi did not let his attention stray even once. His eyes remained fixed on Qi Wang.
Qi Wang never took a single step forward. Even if Lin Huaixi had turned and gone straight back into the dorm without saying a word, Qi Wang would not have stopped him. He would only have stood there quietly watching.
A sudden crease appeared between Lin Huaixi’s brows. Carrying feelings he could not quite name, he walked toward Qi Wang one step at a time.
“Are you staying in the dorm tonight?” Lin Huaixi stopped in front of him and deliberately used a casual, chatty tone.
“No. I just came to see you.” With a single sentence, Qi Wang shattered his disguise.
Lin Huaixi lifted his head to look at him. His features were buried in the darkness, but his eyes remained gentle, brighter than the stars scattered across the sky.
“Then why are you standing here?” They were clearly the closest people to one another, and yet now they no longer knew how to interact. Lin Huaixi struggled for a long time before finally squeezing out that awkward sentence.
Qi Wang reached into his trench coat and took out a bottle of hot milk, holding it out to him. “At dinner you kept eating the cold dishes. I was afraid your stomach wouldn’t handle it well, so drink something warm to ease it.”
Lin Huaixi froze.
At dinner, he had eaten mechanically, only reaching for the cold dish nearest to him, stuffing himself until his stomach felt as heavy as stone and seemed to keep sinking. No wonder it had felt so wrong.
He hesitated a few seconds before reaching out and taking the milk. Warmth spread from his fingertips, and even the chill in his stomach eased a little.
After buying the milk, Qi Wang had kept it tucked against his chest the whole time, warming it with his own body heat so it would stay at the right temperature.
When Lin Huaixi realized that, something at the tip of his heart gave a little tremble, and his chest turned unbearably sour.
But Qi Wang asked for nothing and did not press him for an answer. “Go back and get some proper rest. I’ll leave now.”
Lin Huaixi did not respond. His eyes reflected Qi Wang’s retreating back. Almost involuntarily, he reached out.
Qi Wang had already taken one step forward when he felt the faint resistance. He paused. He knew exactly what Lin Huaixi had done, but he did not turn around.
He did not dare. He was afraid that if he turned back, he would lose control of his emotions and frighten Lin Huaixi.
Each of them was preoccupied with his own thoughts, maintaining that strange posture. Lin Huaixi did not let go, and Qi Wang did not take another step.
A full five minutes passed before Lin Huaixi finally managed to untangle his thoughts. Gathering all his courage, he looked at Qi Wang and asked, “I still haven’t thought it through. I don’t know how to answer you. If… I mean, if I reject you, what will happen? Can we still get along the way we used to?”
Lin Huaixi could no longer keep his feelings hidden. He looked at Qi Wang with pleading eyes, trying hard to control himself, but his voice trembled more and more, and the last few words broke into fragments.
Qi Wang’s heart ached so sharply it was almost unbearable. He had already resolved that before Lin Huaixi gave him an answer, he would keep his distance. But one look from Lin Huaixi had defeated him entirely. He turned around willingly, and when he saw Lin Huaixi’s reddened eyes, they filled instantly with heartache.
He lifted a hand, wanting to cup Lin Huaixi’s face, but his fingers curled once in midair before drawing back again.
“Xixi, I don’t want to make you sad. And I don’t want to use this to threaten you or force you into doing something against your heart.”
“But I can’t convince myself otherwise, and I can’t lie to you either. Even if I try my hardest—if the two of us try together to cover it up—we…”
Qi Wang’s voice became lighter than the wind, but to Lin Huaixi it rang out with crystal clarity.
“We can’t go back to how things were.”
Lin Huaixi had already known this answer deep down. He just had not wanted to face it. He did not want to lose Qi Wang.
In the past, Qi Wang had always been able to do anything. In Lin Huaixi’s eyes, he was almost omnipotent. So he had pinned his vain hope on Qi Wang, hoping Qi Wang might give him the answer he most wanted.
But he did not.
The light in Lin Huaixi’s eyes dimmed little by little. He lowered them slowly, and the hand clutching a corner of the trench coat also loosened.
Qi Wang looked at him deeply. After standing there three silent seconds, he turned and left. The hem of his coat brushed softly across the back of Lin Huaixi’s hand.
Lin Huaixi clearly felt it. But he did not lift his head, did not call out for him to stay, and did not chase after him either.
At that exact moment, the streetlamp that had been broken for a whole week suddenly came back to life. Bright light spilled down and stretched out Lin Huaixi’s shadow.
But it illuminated only Lin Huaixi’s world. After a few seconds, he slowly raised his head. Ahead of him, the trees were still dense and dark, and Qi Wang—wearing that trench coat—had already vanished into the blackness, nowhere to be seen anymore.
