The End of the Universe Is Live-Streaming E-commerce – CH69

Chapter 69: The 69th Day of Livestream Selling

What was the soccer-playing prairie dog doing now?

He was leading his little bros in praying for rain.

Lin Zhao: “…”

Honestly, when it came to this sort of feudal superstition, as long as it did not affect him or anyone else, Lin Zhao did not really have any objections. But it would have been even better if this activity had not happened right when he was livestreaming the tribe’s construction progress to the future deep-pocketed investors.

Before he saw that unlucky prairie dog, who had dared to cosplay as the Grand Priest of Autumn Rain with just a few leaves draped over himself, Lin Zhao had been introducing the beastman plane to the curious Mr. Dandelion. Although this planet was still relatively primitive, they had already carried out large-scale renovations. Among them, the chief, Vián, was a modern person who had accidentally ended up in Pagar.

He was civilized, polite, warmhearted as a prairie dog, and a model resident with all three good qualities.

Then, together, they saw this model resident standing on his hind legs in front of a central square big enough for three wild oxen to roll around side by side. His forepaws were clasped behind his back, and he was trying hard to puff out his round little belly—one look and anyone could tell he had been eating well lately. His furry chin was slightly raised, and he was doing his best to make his small, light-catching eyes look deep and faraway. At the very least, he had to look the part.

Beside him stood two rows of little bros providing background music with lip-syncing. Although Lin Zhao had not watched much soccer, he was certain that familiar BGM was definitely the theme song from some year’s World Cup.

“You’re a good soldier, choosing your battles…”

To increase his air of authority, the prairie dog had also tied a “crown” woven from dry grass around his head. Unfortunately, it had been made a little too large. Every now and then, it would slide down from his smooth head, which looked as if it had a brain without a single wrinkle, and cover his eyes. Then he would quickly push it up with his paws, resume his solemn expression, and pretend nothing had just happened.

Because 1114 only had one camera, Lin Zhao could not see Miye’s reaction right now. But one sentence from a certain humanoid disaster—“A civilized modern person, hm?”—was enough to make Lin Zhao wish he could crawl into a crack in the ground.

No, bro, what are you doing?

Clearly, before this special livestream for attracting investment started, which was yesterday, Lin Zhao had specifically warned Vián, just like he did before every broadcast of With the Prairie Dog.

Vián had also patted his chest and told him, Don’t worry, bro. The biggest commercial sponsorship our club ever got was pulled in by me.

And this was how you pulled sponsorships?

Also, yes, Vián had finally learned to speak, so he no longer needed Simba the lion to act as his translator.

Although his Mandarin carried a strange foreigner accent, just as he said, he could speak Mandarin. He simply could not write Chinese.

Behind this foreign prairie dog were all of his subjects.

Lin Zhao’s original words to Mr. Dandelion had been, “Don’t look at how small Vián’s tribe is, or how few residents it has. Everyone is very friendly and united.”

But now, looking out, there was a dense crowd below.

Beastmen.

All kinds of species were present. Some could transform into humans, while some, like Vián, could only speak but still could not become human. Among them were the red-tailed shrike that had first helped Vián spread the news about establishing a tribe, the young gazelle who had livestreamed with Vián, and later additions like a lame leopard, an elderly elephant… In short, most of them were animals unable to take part in the great migration.

Mr. Dandelion looked for quite a while before telling Lin Zhao through the call, “This scale still counts as small?”

Lin Zhao was also very bewildered. He remembered it had only been about one or two weeks since he had last come to check on Vián, right? Not several years, right? They had even spoken yesterday. In his impression, the goal of Vián’s tribe was to care for the old, weak, sick, and disabled. But where had all these old, weak, sick, and disabled animals on the Pagar Grassland come from?

Lin Zhao did not understand. Lin Zhao was greatly shocked.

Lin Zhao felt that he must have committed some sin in his previous life, so in this life, he had to accompany important clients and watch a prairie dog raise his head to the sky, spread his forepaws, and shout, “Oh—great Spirit of the Sky! Mother of the Earth! Father of the River!”

At times like this, Vián was definitely not speaking Mandarin, but 1114 came with an automatic translation function.

Even the plants could understand him saying, “Your child, child of the grassland, the most special prairie dog, prays here with utmost sincerity!” The prairie dog’s unique voice cracked from the effort. “Please grant us sweet rain! Nourish the parched land! Save the withered grass and trees! And, uh, and…”

He got stuck. He got stuck! You can even get stuck while doing feudal superstition? If you’re this unskilled, then don’t do it!

Lin Zhao really wanted to say, I don’t know them. Although he had not been able to resist Mr. Dandelion’s repeated pleas and had arrived a few hours earlier than the agreed livestream time, surely that did not warrant such a world-shaking change, did it? He felt his crime did not deserve this punishment.

The very hardworking prairie dog was still secretly glancing at the cheat sheet hidden under his lion bro Simba’s paw. It was densely filled with Spanish—that was the note he had made. But because there were too many words and they were written too small, with his current eyesight, he could not see them at all. He could only use a posture he believed others could not notice, shifting “without leaving a trace” farther and farther backward.

Until he could retreat no farther, he finally decided to… make it up on the spot. “Right here, right now! When you fall, get back up. March forward bravely! Rain, come! Rain, come! Rain, come!”

Lin Zhao: That line in the middle was definitely from the lyrics, wasn’t it? Don’t think I couldn’t hear it just because you changed languages!

The humanoid disaster’s silent mockery was obvious.

Fortunately, Mr. Dandelion had truly never seen such a thing before and was full of interest. He watched the entire prayer for rain—or rather, half of the ritual. The unlucky prairie dog announced an intermission. Yes, even while engaging in feudal superstition, he did not forget to slip in his faith in soccer.

Then, he really went to rest inside the prefabricated house.

Lin Zhao also directed the camera to follow, finally finding a chance to ask what exactly Vián was trying to do!

When the camera entered, the prairie dog had already taken off his “crown” and was carefully touching up the fading face paint on his face while letting out a melancholic sigh.

He was not frightened by Lin Zhao’s sudden appearance, because Simba had already hinted to him. Simba could sense that Lin Zhao had come early.

Even if 1114’s camera was invisible, Simba had his own way of distinguishing it.

Before Lin Zhao could ask Vián, this fast-mouthed prairie dog had already started explaining. Their tribe had recently been joined by an entire new tribe of beastmen.

Vián had originally thought he was the only one with the idea of not migrating. But then he discovered that life would always find its own way out. Since beastmen had already evolved civilization, they would naturally also develop the idea of huddling together for warmth.

It was just that these beastmen did not have any concrete concept of establishing a settlement. Rather than a tribe, it was more like a group living in a semi-underground cave. And this huddling journey was not their first year doing it. It had been going on for years. After each dry season, they would naturally disperse, then gather again when the next dry season approached.

Vián had encountered them while searching for ancient river channels.

Vián’s tribe was established in an area with an underground river. At first, he had only wanted to drill some wells, but after experts conducted surveys and reconnaissance, they inferred that the shallow shoal behind the rocks, which evaporated more slowly, should originate from several ancient river channels.

There was never such a thing as too much abundant water. They could not always rely on supplies from his old home.

And so Vián had set out on a journey to find water, bringing along his little brother, who had recently entered an awkward phase. Honestly, Vián had not realized at all that his lion brother was in an awkward phase. He only thought Simba had been shedding a bit lately, probably because it was hot. It was the experienced mother elephant in the tribe who said lions, when moving from adolescence to adulthood, would have such an awkward phase and would become a little less good-looking.

But let’s put it this way. If Simba’s current glittering appearance was his awkward phase, then how good-looking would he be once he was no longer awkward?

Ahem.

As Vián introduced this to Lin Zhao, he was already holding a juicy pong-pong fruit in his short little hands and eating it. This was a specialty of the Pagar Grassland, full of juice and very sweet. But by the dry season, there should not have been any left. Recently, however, they had discovered quite a few of them around the new tribe.

“After I found the new tribe, there wasn’t any conflict. Everyone just huddled together for warmth.”

Lin Zhao nodded, finally understanding where those extra beastmen had come from. “That’s a good thing.”

“There’s strength in numbers.” Vián agreed with this too. “But the problem now is that aside from having a chief, the new tribe also has a priest, you know?”

How should this be put?

It was not surprising.

Generally speaking, whether in history or in novels, primitive tribes like this would always be connected to divine authority somehow. And aside from carrying out certain feudal superstitious activities, priests also counted as half a tribal doctor.

But from Vián’s tone, it was clear this tribal doctor was probably rather troublesome.

“He wants to offer up a virgin boy and girl as sacrifices to pray for rain.”

Lin Zhao: “…”

“Then what are you struggling over?” Mr. Dandelion tilted its head in confusion. Its voice came through the communicator on Lin Zhao’s side and reached the ears of Vián the prairie dog.

The rafflesia lady beside it continued, “Turn anyone who hurts cubs into a flowerpot!”

The white vine, hundreds of meters long, said, “Do you not know how? I can teach you. If you don’t dare, then give me a coordinate. Wait for me, I’ll be there very soon!!!”

But the expression on Vián’s face became even more pained. It was not that he was softhearted toward scum, but…

“The sacrifice is himself.”

Yes, this priest was not the white-bearded old man everyone imagined, but a child who had not yet reached adulthood.

“Ah?”

Last year, the new tribe had discovered a “miracle.” As long as they sacrificed a child when the dry season arrived, they would gain the ability to survive that dry season. For example, last year, they found dry-season pong-pong fruit.

The child sacrificed last year was no stranger either. He had been the brother with the closest relationship to the priest. But at the time, they had not yet formed the concept of sacrificing to Autumn Rain. It had only been an accident.

Lin Zhao could imagine how this tradition had formed. The priest’s brother had died accidentally during the tribe’s most difficult time, and by coincidence, they had found dry-season pong-pong fruit, helping them survive a disaster that had nearly wiped them out. They did not understand natural laws. They could only overfit cause and effect.

The reason the priest had been chosen as priest was because of his brother’s sacrifice.

In that moment, everyone fell silent.

Vián did not want this young boy to die, but the other party firmly believed that only a sacrifice could summon water. That was why Vián had no choice but to start pretending to be divine and making a show of praying for rain. He was preparing to use magic to defeat magic.

Because, coincidentally, when he found them, someone in the new tribe had a fever. In this kind of primitive society, a fever was basically equivalent to a death sentence. Only a very small number of beastmen could survive by luck, and some of those who survived might become mentally impaired. Vián solved the problem with one antipyretic pill. This was also why they were willing to merge tribes, or rather, follow Vián. Because he was a demigod who could “bring people back to life.”

After the expert team conducted weather predictions, Vián began praying for rain.

It had to be at this time, because the rain was due around this moment.

Vián had originally arranged everything very well. Once their side finished praying for rain, Lin Zhao would bring the investors from the alien planet over. He would arrange things properly for them. But then…

Forget it. If he could not get this batch of investment, that was his fate. He could not just watch a young boy die in vain.

Mr. Dandelion’s response, however, was, “You are a very impressive leader.” It did not know what the raw materials on the Pagar Grassland were like, but it was willing to do business with them this once. At the very least, it could help them get through this difficult dry season.

Kai had nothing to object to either. After all, they were spending money that had originally belonged to the Belgi people.

Vián: !!!

The slightly plump prairie dog recently jumped three feet high, but before he could celebrate, it really started raining outside. Although it was not heavy, only a sparse drizzle, it was enough for all the beastmen to thank the heavens.

The young priest, who had firmly believed that only sacrificing himself could bring rain, finally believed in Vián too. “You are the king who can lead us to prosperity!”

Clearly, this only treated the symptoms and not the root cause. Vián had not stopped feudalism. He had become feudalism.

Lin Zhao directed the camera to fly beside Vián and suggested, “How about we livestream nine-year compulsory education?”

“Ah?”

Not just for children. The wasteland people who had grown up in radiation, the Western fantasy serfs stuck in a stagnant and rigid society, the beastmen who had never received any education at all, and even the kindhearted but completely unscientific child-raising Mr. Dandelion—all of them could become the target audience for livestreamed classes. Reading could enlighten the mind. Reading could help people understand reason. Not just children—even adults should make up this missing lesson.

Most importantly, if he invited a bunch of teachers to give lessons, wouldn’t Lin Zhao be able to pad out his livestream hours again?

1114: “…” I knew it!

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