Chapter 37
The furry little melon-eating raccoon-dog head lowered, and he stuffed another piece of melon into the gap of his mouth.
Because of that, Lin Zhiqiao failed to notice that the cat head and dog head by the bar counter, along with the snake head and lion head by the food table, all glanced in his direction almost at the exact same time.
After struggling to eat a little with his head lowered, Lin Zhiqiao finally looked up again, only to find that all the other guests upstairs had already come down and taken their places.
A furry hamster head, a slightly clumsy crocodile head, a lively deer head, a round and chubby chibi mountain sparrow head, and a majestic eagle head.
Ten people in total, all present.
The program director stood on the steps, wearing a ridiculous little clown head.
“For the next three hours, please enjoy the food and wine to your heart’s content. The dance floor will remain open for everyone the whole time.”
Three hours later, the cruise ship would encounter a “storm” and be forced to dock at some nameless deserted island.
At that point, the masquerade ball would end, and the stranded travelers would remove their disguises and begin the next seven days of deserted-island survival under their real identities.
But in the three hours before that, all the guests could speak freely and flirt to their heart’s content with whichever animal head caught their eye.
[The atmosphere is actually pretty solid.] Lin Zhiqiao gave a fair evaluation. [Does this count as the last supper before deserted-island survival?]
The moment that inner thought came out, every animal head present turned toward the long table of food in complete unison.
—After all, once they got to the deserted island, maybe they would not be able to eat such a rich and delicious spread anymore. And for a whole week at that.
So all the animal heads moved at once and piled their plates full of food.
‘I’m seriously dying laughing. Turning a romantic, atmosphere-filled masquerade ball into the last supper of ten starving people all by himself. As expected of you, melon-god raccoon-dog head [dog head.jpg]’
‘You need to eat your fill before you have the strength to fall in love. Where’s the problem? There is no problem, not one single problem [thumbs up.jpg]’
Lin Zhiqiao raised a hand and pushed at his raccoon-dog head. It was a little heavy, and his neck was getting kind of tired.
After the cat head and dog head filled their plates, they returned to their seats by the bar and continued the topic they had been discussing before.
Breaking up seemed to have rapidly shortened the distance between them in a very short time.
Full and satisfied, Lin Zhiqiao sat there hugging his raccoon-dog head, only to realize at some unknown point that a whole circle of people had sat down around him.
The lion head and snake head sat on his left, while on his right, the furry hamster head held a plate and was furiously shoveling food into its mouth.
By the bar, the dog head spoke in a muffled voice, “After being together for that long, he just broke up with me like that. He’s really heartless.”
The cat head poked at the straw in its drink, took a sip of cocktail, and said, “Yeah. Really heartless.”
The dog head asked, “Were you the one who got dumped too?”
“No.” The cat head shook its head. “I was the one who suggested the breakup.”
Dog head: “Did he give you the cold shoulder? Force you into breaking up?”
“No.” The cat head shook its head again. “He was a very good person. I’m the heartless one.”
Dog head: “…”
This conversation seemed a little hard to keep going.
Sitting behind them, Lin Zhiqiao was already on the verge of laughing himself insane.
The hamster head rubbed its ears through the furry headpiece twice, then cut in, “Did you two also just break up?”
The cat head and dog head turned around and nodded at the same time. “Yeah. Don’t tell me you too?”
The hamster head nodded humbly. “Yeah. Bad luck for me, I dated a total scumbag. He lied to me for four years, and I caught him cheating in bed. Pah!”
The cat head and dog head exchanged a glance. Then each of them lifted one hand and patted the hamster head on the shoulder.
The dog head said, “You’ve got it worse. You’ve really got it worse.”
The cat head comforted, “It’s okay. Out with the old, in with the new. You’ll meet someone better.”
But the hamster head shook its head. “My heart is dead. Whoever wants to date can go date. I’m done.”
The Breakup Alliance was officially formed in an instant.
[Good lord. So among the ten guests, three are already confirmed to have just gone through breakups. Did the program team set this up as a new romance platform to help heartbroken people recover from the pain of a breakup?]
Lin Zhiqiao fell into deep thought.
[Dated a scumbag, got lied to for four years, and caught him cheating in bed…]
[That setup sounds weirdly familiar. The hamster head can’t possibly be—]
[Little Auntie?]
The hamster head looked at him, its cute little black bean eyes reflecting the thoughtful raccoon-dog head.
[No way it’s that much of a coincidence…]
Lin Zhiqiao rubbed his chin, then instinctively reached out for more melon from his plate, only to grab at empty air.
He had already finished all the melon on his plate.
A furry animal paw reached over from beside him.
The lion head pushed over a full plate of watermelon. “There’s more here.”
Not to be outdone, the snake head handed him a plate of after-meal desserts. “Eat, eat. If you finish, go get more. There’s still plenty over on the long table.”
Lin Zhiqiao was a little flattered. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” the snake head said. “Your raccoon-dog head looks extremely cute.”
The lion head agreed. “Yeah. It gives off the feeling that if you follow him, you’ll definitely get to eat delicious melon.”
‘I’m seriously dying laughing hahahaha’
‘An extremely correct choice. If you want gossip, following the raccoon-dog head can’t go wrong!’
Lin Zhiqiao adjusted his raccoon-dog head.
[This is bad. Don’t tell me my identity as the god of gossip really can’t be hidden anymore!]
The surrounding animal heads silently nodded in their hearts.
Yes, yes.
It’s been impossible to hide for a long time already.
The three of them hit it off immediately, and after the Breakup Alliance, the Eating-Gossip Trio also quickly formed a deep friendship.
Perhaps because there were already too many people gathered here, the other four animal heads did not squeeze over.
In a flash, three hours passed.
Accompanied by a loud rumble, the ambiguous pink background music cut off, and the cruise ship “ran aground” and had no choice but to dock beside the deserted island.
The production team stepped forward and handed each animal head a phone.
“This is the emergency communicator for the island,” the director explained. “You can use this communicator to send messages to one another, but you cannot contact anyone outside.”
“Before you officially remove your disguises and meet each other under your real identities, you may each send one message through the communicator.”
The director stressed, “Please note, you may only choose one person and send one single message. Opportunities are limited, so please choose carefully.”
In the phone’s contact list, the other animal heads’ information was lined up neatly.
Lin Zhiqiao thought for a moment, then sent a message to the hamster head, whom he strongly suspected was Little Auntie.
‘Breaking up may not necessarily be a bad thing. As for romance, it’s still more interesting to watch other people do it.’
At the same time, his own phone vibrated three times.
Two of those were declarations from the snake head and lion head about the Eating-Gossip Alliance, and the third was from the hamster head, affirming his opinion.
Meanwhile, beside them, the cat head and dog head unsurprisingly sent messages to each other.
Dog head: ‘You’ll meet someone better. Hang in there.’
Cat head: ‘You too. Hang in there.’
After everyone had sent their messages, the director announced that they could remove their headpieces.
The heavy raccoon-dog head finally left him, and Lin Zhiqiao let out a sigh of relief. Then he turned to look at the hamster head standing on his left.
Under the headpiece was that familiar baby-faced girl.
Ji Yuan raised a hand first and greeted him. “What a coincidence, Xiao Qiao. I can’t believe I ran into you even here.”
Lin Zhiqiao smiled shyly. “Yeah, yeah, such a coincidence!”
Then he turned to look at his right, and his eyes immediately widened in shock!
Under the snake head and lion head were also two old acquaintances—
Wen Li and Jiang Qianqian smiled and waved at him. “Such a coincidence, such a coincidence!”
[So did the production team for Celebrity Island Survival just directly poach the entire guest lineup from Life?!]
Lin Zhiqiao shot his head upward. Aside from the cat head and dog head, who were still dragging their feet and had not taken off their headpieces yet, all the other animal heads had already revealed their real identities.
Two men and two women—four unfamiliar faces he had never seen before. Lin Zhiqiao secretly let out a sigh of relief in his heart.
That made sense. Ji Ran and Cheng Xia were about to join a survival talent show and should now be training furiously at Xinghe’s training base.
Tang Zhou had a modeling show coming up very soon, so he was probably busy and would not have time to join a dating variety show.
As for Pei Ning…
Pei Ning already had a partner, so she did not fit the criteria for joining a dating show.
In other words, the director of Celebrity Island Survival really had poached every possible guest from Life that he could get his hands on.
Lin Zhiqiao secretly glanced toward the director.
The other party seemed to notice his gaze and returned him a smile full of hidden meaning.
Lin Zhiqiao: “?”
[There’s a scheme here?]
While he was still thinking, the dog head and cat head finally removed their disguises.
The two standing side by side exchanged a glance, and their expressions changed almost at the exact same moment.
The person under the dog head, after his initial shock, suddenly burst with bright light in his eyes. If the dog costume had come with a movable tail, it would probably be spinning like a propeller by now.
But the person under the cat head showed an emotional reaction completely different from dog-head guy’s.
After the initial shock, his face immediately darkened. He even instinctively stepped back a few paces, widening the distance between himself and the dog-head guy, as if he wanted to draw a clear line between them.
The two of them spoke at the same time:
“Shu Lin / Qin Ye, why is it you?!”
Lin Zhiqiao was also shocked.
[Holy shit holy shit holy shit! The program team is really stirring things up, aren’t they?! Inviting two people who just broke up publicly to join a dating show—]
Lin Zhiqiao glanced at the director again and saw him smiling so hard his eyes had disappeared, looking just like a fox. He instantly understood the intention behind this arrangement.
[So that’s it. So the scheme was hidden here.]
Lin Zhiqiao finally got it.
With Shu Lin and Qin Ye, the freshly broken-up ex-couple, here, everyone else was probably just supporting cast.
But that was no problem. Lin Zhiqiao loved being supporting cast.
[No need to work hard at fake romance, and I still get to eat gossip. Who wouldn’t love that!]
Beside him, Jiang Qianqian and Wen Li silently nodded.
Lin Zhiqiao had just been worrying about how he was ever going to get to eat Shu Lin and Qin Ye’s melon, yet before he could even finish getting sleepy, someone had kindly delivered a pillow to him. It could not have been more considerate.
In his heart, Lin Zhiqiao gave the director and production team of Celebrity Island Survival a big thumbs-up.
‘I’m stunned. I truly never expected the director to dare play this hard.’
‘Just now I was still guessing whether one of the cat head or dog head might turn out to be Shu Lin or Qin Ye, because the second you hear “just broke up,” it’s impossible not to think of them… but I really did not guess the program team would invite both of them!!!’
‘This round I stand with the raccoon-dog head. This dating show isn’t a dating show at all. Please rename it Love and Hate in the Breakup Group [dog head.jpg]’
‘Judging from the information just now, Director Shu was the one who proposed the breakup, and Brother Qin still can’t let go of Director Shu? Is it possible the Qin-Shu CP might reconcile through this dating show, QAQ?’
As for Shu Lin and Qin Ye themselves…
With a clatter, the dog head in Qin Ye’s hand fell to the ground.
He stepped forward, both shocked and delighted. “A-Lin! I—”
But Shu Lin avoided him and turned to walk straight toward the director. “I want to withdraw from filming. I’m not participating in this episode.”
Behind him, one little Qin doggy quietly shattered into pieces.
Lin Zhiqiao glanced at him and, sure enough, saw Qin Ye’s expression instantly droop, once again revealing the same pitiful look as before, like a loyal puppy cruelly abandoned by its owner.
[That heartbroken expression, that devastated yet deeply affectionate gaze—]
[Does that look like the face of someone who’s not in love? Does it? If this isn’t love, then I, Lin Xiaoqiao, will perform a handstand and eat melon today!]
Shu Lin could hear Lin Zhiqiao’s inner thoughts.
The fingers hanging by his side curled tightly. Light reflected off his glasses, fully hiding the emotions in his eyes.
But the director shook his head and said, “That’s not possible, Xiao Shu. It was made very clear when you signed the contract. Once you join this episode, there’s no such thing as withdrawing midway unless a special situation comes up—such as serious physical discomfort. Otherwise, you can’t leave the island.”
Shu Lin replied, “Then I’m very uncomfortable right now. Extremely uncomfortable, in fact, and I’m afraid—”
“We have a doctor traveling with us,” the director reminded him. “Do you want me to call him over and have him check you out?”
Shu Lin closed his eyes. “…Forget it.”
The director smiled gently. “If you don’t want to pursue romance, you can also choose the survival route. The program team won’t force you on that point.”
Shu Lin nodded and returned to the guest group, but deliberately stood at the spot farthest away from Qin Ye.
Qin Ye stared at him pitifully. After a while, he lowered his head, no one knew what he was thinking.
[Since the day I was abandoned, so many days have already passed. I thought he was only angry with me for now, but I never expected… maybe he really doesn’t want me anymore. Without an owner, where is doggy me supposed to go from here?]
Lin Zhiqiao could not resist giving Qin Ye a voiceover in his head.
Wen Li held a fist against her lips, while Jiang Qianqian gave a light cough, trying to hide her laughter.
Qin Ye glanced at him, then at Shu Lin, and his eyes reddened slightly.
Ji Yuan also looked at Qin Ye and Shu Lin, then sighed. “Well then, I guess the Breakup Alliance is officially disbanded!”
She could see it clearly by now—even though these two had broken up, they obviously still had feelings for each other.
Only she, only she Ji Yuan, had met a true human scum, gone through a real breakup, and now come on a dating show to recover, only for the two alliance members she had just bonded with to immediately “stab her in the back”!
Ji Yuan curled her lips.
A world where only she got hurt had now been achieved.
“Men really are all trash. Not a single truthful sentence ever comes out of their mouths,” she muttered.
Standing beside her, Lin Zhiqiao blinked. [Oh ho, I got hit by the stray bullet.]
“You don’t count,” Ji Yuan said. “I know. You’re one of the girls.”
Lin Zhiqiao gave her an adorable headless smile.
Wen Li comforted her. “It’s okay. The Breakup Alliance may be gone, but the Eating-Gossip Alliance is still here.”
“That’s right.” Jiang Qianqian warmly invited her. “Come on, welcome to the stable and everlasting gossip family!”
Lin Zhiqiao approved: [The revolutionary friendship of eating gossip together is the most stable relationship in the world!]
And just like that, the “little incident” passed.
The program team had already prepared convenient clothes for everyone.
After everyone changed, they finally got off the ship and onto the island.
As always, Lin Zhiqiao instinctively walked at the very back, silently taking in everything happening up front.
In front of him was the Eating-Gossip Alliance, and even further ahead was Qin Ye, who was still steeped in low spirits.
Shu Lin was walking at the very front, but he was not alone.
A gentle and refined young man with an elegant bearing was standing by his side, walking shoulder to shoulder with him and chatting with him while smiling.
Lin Zhiqiao remembered that his name was Zhou Zenian. He had been the one wearing the crocodile costume at the masquerade ball.
“I really didn’t expect to run into you here,” Zhou Zenian said. “This is way too much of a coincidence, Xiao Shu.”
Shu Lin gave a quiet hum. “Yeah. Pretty coincidental.”
He was not in particularly high spirits, and Zhou Zenian could tell he had no real interest in continuing the conversation, so he said, “For this next week of island survival, please take care of me. If you run into any trouble, feel free to come to me.”
Shu Lin nodded. “Thank you.”
[Wow, they actually know each other!]
Lin Zhiqiao grew excited in secret. [Could this be Qin Ye’s love rival appearing on the scene?]
Up ahead, Qin Ye’s whole body jolted, and he stumbled so badly he almost performed a flat-ground fall right in front of all the livestream cameras.
This deserted island was even bigger than Lin Zhiqiao had imagined.
There were no transportation tools on the island, so all movement had to rely entirely on walking.
The group walked, rested, then walked again, and finally reached the area the director team had chosen in advance.
A simple kitchen built from wood, along with two enormous tents, were the places where everyone would be living for the next week.
Conditions were limited. Inside the tent was one giant shared sleeping area, with five beds placed side by side.
Shu Lin chose the innermost bed. Qin Ye had just been about to follow him when Zhou Zenian moved one step ahead of him and sat down on the bed right next to Shu Lin.
Qin Ye shot him a vicious glare, then, preparing to settle for second best, went to choose the bed beside Zhou Zenian—only to find that bed had already been taken too.
It was the male guest who had worn the eagle head earlier: Xu Mo, handsome with a hint of roguishness.
Xu Mo smiled at Qin Ye apologetically. “Sorry. I’m not very interested in sleeping too close to people I don’t like.”
After speaking, he even glanced at Lin Zhiqiao.
Lin Zhiqiao found that look extremely familiar.
He poked 888. [Check his favorability?]
888 replied: [It’s negative, Host.]
Lin Zhiqiao: [Is he a Lin Mubai fan too?]
888: [Not a fan. He’s a junior from the same company. He’s now in the same agency as Lin Mubai, and they even share the same manager.]
Lin Zhiqiao immediately understood.
Qin Ye was furious but powerless. When he looked at Lin Zhiqiao, his eyes were red—with rage.
“You’re taking my bed too?” he asked, sounding as though every word had been written in blood.
Lin Zhiqiao waved his hands repeatedly. “No, no. I’ll sleep on the outermost side. It’s near the door flap, so there’ll be wind at night and it won’t be so hot.”
Of course, the most important reason was that this tent had only one entrance and exit. Even if someone tried sneaking out in the middle of the night, Lin Zhiqiao would definitely notice and would not miss a single opportunity to eat gossip.
[An absolutely perfect gossip observation point! This raccoon-dog is super invincibly satisfied!]
Qin Ye relaxed a little, though he was still unhappy.
There were now a full two beds between him and Shu Lin. He could not even see a single strand of Shu Lin’s hair—how was he supposed to be satisfied with that?
After everyone roughly sorted out their luggage, the program team released the first task of the day.
“The cargo hold on the cruise ship has already been flooded by seawater. After our best efforts to rescue what we could, we managed to save only a small amount of ingredients,” the director said. “I’m sure everyone is starving by now. These ingredients will be enough for one meal tonight. Starting tomorrow, you’ll all need to work hard to find food on your own.”
The ingredients had already been moved into the little kitchen.
Wen Li poked her head in for a look, then turned around and asked, “Does anyone here know how to cook?”
Only three hands went up.
Besides Lin Zhiqiao, there were also Zhou Zenian and Qin Ye.
None of the others raised their hands. Everyone exchanged glances and teased each other, “Looks like we’re all takeout people.”
Zhou Zenian smiled warmly. “Then let the three of us handle the cooking. Starting tomorrow, we’ll leave the food-gathering to all of you.”
No one objected—except Qin Ye.
“No. The two of us are enough to handle cooking.” He looked at Zhou Zenian with an expression of complete determination. “Lin Zhiqiao isn’t in a good position to cook. He doesn’t need to.”
Lin Zhiqiao did not react in time. “I don’t have—”
Qin Ye looked at him.
Lin Zhiqiao’s voice cut off mid-sentence. He keenly caught the thick gunpowder scent radiating off Qin Ye.
So he immediately changed his words. “Yes, yes, yes, I’m not in a good position, not in a good position. I’ll leave cooking to the two of you.”
[The kitchen is not a kitchen. The kitchen is a battlefield. I am only a weak little raccoon-dog, so I shall not participate.]
Lin Zhiqiao decisively retreated back into the gossip group.
Shu Lin looked at them once, then quickly lowered his eyes again and sat quietly to one side, wordlessly picking vegetables.
Inside the kitchen, Qin Ye and Zhou Zenian had clearly already squared off against each other.
Each of them stood there with a pot and a spatula. What rose from the pots was not cooking steam, but the thick smoke of battle.
Lin Zhiqiao was assigned the task of washing vegetables.
Amid the splashing water, he poked the system. [888, open a few blind boxes to help liven things up.]
[Of course, Host.] 888 thoughtfully asked, [Do you need to use a designated card?]
Lin Zhiqiao was already too impatient to hesitate. [Use it use it use it! Use it on Shu Lin!]
The gossip blind box opened, and Lin Zhiqiao immediately sucked in a sharp breath—
[Oh my heavens! It’s this intense?!]
[Qin Ye and Shu Lin actually—actually started out as a real-life classic one-night-stand opening!!!]
