Chapter 8
After sending the message, Xie Ning did not reply right away.
Pei Zhi went back to check what he had sent, froze for a moment, and immediately tried to recall it, but more than two minutes had already passed. The system showed that it could no longer be withdrawn.
He felt regretful and irritated, and his face grew faintly warm. Why had he typed so fast? Why had he not thought it through a little more?
Xie Ning had obviously been asking whether he had ever worked as a model before, yet somehow, like his brain had short-circuited, he had rushed to tell Xie Ning that he was a virgin.
Would Xie Ning think he was weird… or even think he was a pervert?
Xie Ning really did not know how to respond. After a moment, he finally replied with one sentence.
[Ning: I have to go out tomorrow morning, and I’ll probably be home around ten. I already informed the property management in advance. When you come tomorrow, someone will bring you upstairs. If I’m not home when you arrive, you can just enter the password and come in.]
[Ning: Password wdfs355]
Xie Ning lived in a one-unit-per-floor apartment. Normally, only the owner could enter by swiping a card. Visitors had to register, so security was strict and the place was very safe.
Looking at that password, and also at what Xie Ning had said before—“you can come to my place to shower”—a strange feeling rose in Pei Zhi’s chest.
Did Xie Ning trust him that much? Wasn’t he afraid Pei Zhi might be a bad person and empty out his whole apartment?
And wasn’t Xie Ning a clean freak? Yet he was actually willing to let him use the bathroom.
For his first time going to Xie Ning’s home, and he was going there to shower… wasn’t that a little inappropriate?
Pei Zhi’s expression turned even more stern and cold, yet his chest felt restless from how fast his heart was beating. Subconsciously, he opened the drawer to reach for a pack of cigarettes, only to find that the place where the cigarettes used to be was empty now. There was only a handful of candy.
He picked a lime-flavored hard candy. A faint fruity fragrance spread across his lips and teeth, and the sweet-sour stimulation calmed him down a little.
Xie Ning must trust his character, that was why he had given him the apartment password and allowed him to shower at his place.
Then in the spirit of returning courtesy for courtesy, should he also do something in return?
[Willing: xbnnc030]
[Ning: ?]
Pei Zhi restrained himself for ten minutes before sending another message.
[Willing: That’s my door password.]
Xie Ning did not see this message until the next morning.
He kept a regular schedule and always went to bed early and woke early too. That had also been the doctor’s advice.
Xie Ning found it a little funny.
He normally unlocked his door with his fingerprint, and the main door also had a dynamic password that changed every so often. The password he had given Pei Zhi was the code valid from 8:00 to 12:00. After that, it would be changed again.
He had no idea what Pei Zhi had been thinking. Maybe he had felt that since Xie Ning had given him a password, he had to give one back too, so that it would be fair?
Xie Ning’s appointment was at 8:30, and his home was not far from the hospital.
The hospital had an elegant décor style, and even the smell of disinfectant was faint. Warm sunlight streamed through the wide glass windows outside the corridor, casting the reflection of a long, elegant figure.
A child ran through the hallway, brushing his cheek and the back of Xie Ning’s hand. The child’s father nearly bumped into Xie Ning while trying to catch him.
The parent looked apologetic. “Sorry, I didn’t hurt you, did I? It’s all this little brat’s fault. He’s really too naughty…”
Xie Ning’s fingers twitched slightly as he lowered his eyes. “It’s fine.”
The parent had been very polite, but in truth, he had not actually bumped into Xie Ning. Only the child had accidentally brushed against him.
The consultation room Xie Ning needed to go to was on the left, yet without hesitation he turned into the restroom on the right. Under the running water, he scrubbed his hands over and over.
He did not know how many times he had used hand soap. The backs of his hands and fingers had already turned bright red, and one spot even seemed to have broken skin.
When the cold water touched the broken patch, there was a faint sting. Only then did he feel slightly better.
Xie Ning knew that this kind of contact was common in normal social interactions, but he simply could not bear it.
He did not like being too close to others, and he loathed physical contact with them even more.
Xie Ning had skin hunger syndrome, so naturally he craved physical contact with other people, even if it was only something as simple as holding hands or hugging.
Just now, when he had accidentally brushed against someone, the place that had been touched felt as though an ice cube had suddenly been pressed against him in midsummer. At first it was refreshing and cool, but after only a little while, the ice against his skin brought a painfully excessive coldness, so freezing that it became unbearable.
Xie Ning was repulsed by physical contact, yet recently, his skin hunger syndrome seemed to be getting worse and worse.
Skin hunger syndrome usually creates a powerful urge for physical contact with others, accompanied by anxiety, irritability, and unease. At present, there was still no clear treatment plan.
A refined-looking man in a white coat held a silver fountain pen in his long fingers. As he wrote down notes, the lush green plant beside his hand swayed lightly.
Shi Qingyu said, “You mean that recently, you met someone whose touch doesn’t make you feel resistant? Even relatively close physical contact, like hugging or holding hands, doesn’t disgust you?”
Xie Ning corrected him. “Only simple hugs and touching.”
Shi Qingyu said, “So you still haven’t confirmed whether, if you did something slightly more intimate with him—even if it were only contact within a normal social range—you would feel resistant?”
The two accidents Xie Ning had had with Pei Zhi: the first had been in the dorm, when he nearly fell and Pei Zhi caught him; the second had been yesterday, when the motorcycle charged down the sidewalk and Pei Zhi pulled him into his arms.
He said, “No. But based on the contact so far, I really don’t feel repulsed.”
“At the same time, my skin hunger syndrome seems to be getting more severe.”
Shi Qingyu’s expression turned grave. “When your skin hunger flares up, what method do you use? Are you still forcibly suppressing it?”
Xie Ning said, “Yes.”
“How?” Xie Ning remained silent. Shi Qingyu sighed. “Xie Ning, you can’t keep hurting yourself.”
Xie Ning said, “I’m not hurting myself.”
But forcibly suppressing instinctive desire and need—how was that not also a form of harm, both to the body and the mind?
Shi Qingyu looked at Xie Ning with deep concern. He had always been at a loss when it came to this unusual young patient.
For one thing, he had no effective solution to offer him. For another, the patient refused to cooperate at all.
At present, there was no clear treatment plan for skin hunger syndrome. Doctors could only encourage patients to communicate positively with others, or give them positive psychological suggestion, reshaping their understanding and helping them recognize that skin hunger syndrome was actually a normal phenomenon.
In more severe cases, medication could be used, but medication had no effect on Xie Ning.
Shi Qingyu had once suggested desensitization therapy for Xie Ning, but Xie Ning had rejected it without the slightest hesitation.
Desensitization therapy would require Xie Ning, within tolerable conditions, to experience and accept the sense of safety and comfort brought by skin contact, using that gradual desensitization to help him adapt and heal.
That would require Xie Ning to have sustained and sufficient contact with the person involved, until his symptoms eased.
This was the treatment Shi Qingyu most recommended. Xie Ning had both skin hunger syndrome and a serious obsession with cleanliness, and prolonged suppression would inevitably have negative effects on both his body and mind.
But Xie Ning had his own way of thinking. He could not accept contact with strangers, nor did he want to rely on physical contact with others to relieve his symptoms. His cleanliness obsession and his skin hunger syndrome had always been locked in conflict, and cleanliness had always been the stronger side.
Shi Qingyu worried that one day, if Xie Ning’s cleanliness obsession could no longer overpower the skin hunger syndrome, then the skin hunger would come crashing back with double the force.
Shi Qingyu tested the waters. “Since you don’t feel resistant to this person’s touch, could you maybe try interacting with him a little more? It doesn’t need to be especially intimate. Just normal social-distance contact is enough.”
Xie Ning said calmly, “I know what you want to say, but I don’t want to.”
Then he added, “Isn’t there another possibility? That desensitization could fail and turn into addiction?”
To Xie Ning, intimate contact was a nightmare. Even putting everything else aside—even if he truly were willing to try desensitization—what if things did not improve? What if, instead, he began to rely on physical contact with that person?
He hated losing control. He hated accidents.
Xie Ning hated anything that could make him addicted.
“You demand too much of yourself. You’re always strict with yourself, you never allow unexpected things around you, and you don’t have any ways to relax or have fun. You’re a person, not a machine,” Shi Qingyu sighed. “You should loosen up on yourself a little.”
“Being strict isn’t a bad thing.”
“But if your condition keeps getting worse…”
Xie Ning cut him off calmly. “It won’t.”
He trusted his self-control.
When Xie Ning walked out of the hospital, it was already 9:30. He would get home at around ten.
Pei Zhi had arrived at about 9:30 too, but he had not entered the apartment using the password.
Xie Ning’s apartment was one unit per floor, and there was also a waiting area outside the front door. He could simply wait there slowly.
The moment the elevator doors opened, Xie Ning saw Pei Zhi sitting on the sofa.
Hadn’t he already given Pei Zhi the password? Why had he not gone inside?
There was a beautifully packaged bag on the coffee table. Pei Zhi was looking down at his phone with a cold expression, one finger bent against the bridge of his nose, seemingly lost in thought.
The elevator doors closed behind Xie Ning. The moment Pei Zhi looked up, he saw Xie Ning walking toward him.
Today, Xie Ning was dressed simply in a white top and black pants. Perhaps because he had just come back from outside, his pale skin carried a soft pink flush, his lips were the faint color of cherry blossoms, and under the reflection of the mirrored ceiling above, his brows and eyes looked as though they had been dusted with a thin layer of frost.
His features and facial structure were incredibly proper—no, rather than proper, they were beautiful. That always cold and distant, almost glamorous face could hardly be looked away from once it showed even the slightest expression.
Xie Ning walked over. “Why didn’t you go in?”
Pei Zhi rose from the sofa and stood in front of him. His tall body was like some enormous creature, effortlessly blocking the light and Xie Ning’s field of vision.
A faint crease appeared between Xie Ning’s brows. Pei Zhi was too tall.
Not just tall—he also ran hot. Even with some distance between them, just standing there, Xie Ning could already feel the vigorous heat radiating from Pei Zhi’s body, along with that strong male hormonal presence.
“You said you were almost here, right? Waiting for you and going in afterward is the same thing.” As if casually, Pei Zhi picked up the beautiful bag from the coffee table. A pretty bow had been tied on it too. He handed it over casually. “For you.”
“Breakfast,” Pei Zhi said. “Picked it up on the way.”
[So nervous, so nervous. What will wife’s home be like? I rang the bell and no one answered, and since wife wasn’t here, I didn’t dare go in T-T.]
[My first time coming to wife’s house. I didn’t know what to bring, so I brought myself.]
[Just kidding, wife. How could I possibly come empty-handed? I also brought breakfast. Got up at four in the morning to make this loving breakfast, made specially for my Ning Ning wife. ^^]
