Chapter 65
The room fell deathly silent.
Pei Zhi’s tongue was still lodged in Xie Ning’s mouth, filling his narrow oral cavity so completely that even the faint whimper slipping out sounded soft and weak.
The two of them froze for a brief moment. Then the knocking came again from outside.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? Isn’t Xiao Pei in there too?” After saying that, Father Xie muttered to himself, “Don’t tell me something really happened.”
Pei Zhi glanced at Xie Ning. Xie Ning pulled back a little, and Pei Zhi’s tongue naturally slipped out of his mouth.
Without Pei Zhi blocking him anymore, the saliva that had built up came spilling out. Xie Ning did not even have time to wipe it away before he answered, his voice slightly muffled, “Nothing happened! Nothing happened. We were in the bathroom just now, so we didn’t hear what was going on outside.”
After a thought, he added, “Pei Zhi doesn’t really know how to wear this kind of clothing, so I was helping him.”
Outside the door, Father Xie sounded enlightened. “So that’s what it was. Is the outfit really that hard to put on? I can come help too.”
“No need!”
Pei Zhi and Xie Ning both jumped, but Pei Zhi especially looked like he had nearly leapt up with Xie Ning in his arms.
Xie Ning said, “…If you’re going to panic, at least put me down first.”
After setting him down, Pei Zhi’s arms and embrace instantly felt empty. That hollow feeling gave him a strong sense of insecurity.
He pulled Xie Ning back into his arms at once. Only when his embrace was filled again with warm, real flesh did he calm down a little. Even so, his tone remained frantic. “What do I do… what do I do? Baby, I’m done for. I’m dead. I’m going to jump off a building.”
Had he bitten Xie Ning just now? Probably not. But Xie Ning seemed to have bitten him. At the time, Pei Zhi had even thought it felt amazing. Now all he wanted to know was whether it had left a mark.
Their mouths… they shouldn’t look too obvious, right?
Father Xie was right outside the door, and Pei Zhi had been planning to present himself as the upright, proper sort of young man elders liked. But now they had not even formally met, and his first impression was already in danger.
Xie Ning, tightly held in his arms, could clearly feel his trembling and tension. But even in this situation, Pei Zhi still found time to kiss and rub against his neck, as though using the motion to relieve his own anxiety.
Was it really necessary to be this nervous? Xie Ning did not understand why Pei Zhi’s reaction was so extreme. He said, “Put your clothes on first.”
Pei Zhi froze, then nodded at once in agreement. “Right. I need to get dressed. I can’t let Uncle see me like this.”
At the moment, Pei Zhi only had a bathrobe on, and after their kiss, the robe had already loosened quite a bit. He really did look disheveled.
If Xie Ning’s parents saw him like this, they might think he was some unserious, indecent person.
“Wait for me, baby.”
Pei Zhi hurriedly stripped off the robe and opened the garment bag to put on the clothes.
They were bought according to his size and fit him perfectly. The style was simple too, but Pei Zhi somehow still managed to mess up repeatedly. Even the most basic buttons ended up misfastened.
Watching him fumble so badly, Xie Ning felt helpless. “Take your time. Button them slowly. I’ll go talk to my dad at the door.”
“Wait—”
What he really wanted was to stop Xie Ning from leaving, but in the end he still didn’t. However, his mind in chaos from nerves, he suddenly reached out, cupped Xie Ning’s face, and kissed him on the lips.
The tension in his brow and eyes visibly eased.
Xie Ning lifted his lashes. “Not nervous anymore?”
“Still nervous,” Pei Zhi admitted. “But much better.”
Xie Ning went to the door and cracked it open just enough to show half his face. “I’m fine, Dad. You don’t have to wait for us. We’ll be downstairs soon.”
Father Xie asked, “Has Xiao Pei finished changing yet?”
Xie Ning replied, “He’s changing.”
Father Xie said, “Tell him not to be shy. He should just treat this as his own home.”
Xie Ning answered, “Mm.”
Father Xie echoed, “Mm.”
Xie Ning: “…”
Why was his father still standing there? Why, after the conversation had clearly ended, was he still lingering outside the door, peering through the crack as though he had seen through something?
“Dad,” Xie Ning said again.
“Hm?”
Xie Ning forced himself to continue, “Why don’t you go downstairs first? Mom might be too busy. You can go help her. We’ll come down and help too.”
“Your mother already has help,” Father Xie said leisurely. “I’ll wait for you two. It’s Xiao Pei’s first time at our house. I’m worried he’ll be nervous later with so many people downstairs. If we go down together, he might feel better.”
With you there, he’ll probably be even more nervous, Xie Ning thought silently.
Xie Ning did not understand why his father was suddenly being so stubborn today, insisting on waiting for Pei Zhi so they could all go downstairs together, when his father was not usually such an overenthusiastic person.
Xie Ning said, “Um… really, that’s not necessary.”
Just as he was thinking of another way to persuade Father Xie to leave first, a low male voice came from behind him. “Is Uncle here?”
A hand closed over the doorknob and slowly pulled the door wider. Xie Ning turned his head in surprise and saw that Pei Zhi had already finished getting dressed.
Dressed in black casualwear, his tall, upright frame looked especially steady and composed. The clothing also softened the aggression and sharpness in his features. Standing there in the room, his deep-set, sculpted face carried an air of restrained propriety.
“Hello, Uncle. I came in such a rush that I left the gift in the car. Coming empty-handed is my fault.”
Xie Ning: “…”
Just moments ago Pei Zhi had looked like the sky was collapsing, but now he was suddenly poised and in full control. Even the way he spoke had taken on the calm, polished tone of someone in complete command of himself.
Among peers, the way Pei Zhi carried himself could have come off as trying too hard, but with elders it worked extremely well. Combined with his exceptional looks, the effect was of a handsome, refined young man with excellent manners.
Father Xie’s first impression of him immediately improved.
“Gifts aren’t important,” Father Xie said. “The thought is enough. By the way, Xiao Pei, when did you get here?”
In that split second, Pei Zhi made a decision. He could not lie. “Actually, I arrived around midnight. I called Ningning then. I was planning to go to a hotel, but Ningning told me to come straight here.”
Father Xie said, “There’s no need to waste money on a hotel. Staying here is the same. No need to be polite—just treat this as your own home.”
Xie Ning had almost never brought friends home before, so Father Xie was naturally very curious about Pei Zhi. Now that he had met him, he didn’t quite know how to put it.
But he felt like this was probably exactly the sort of person Xie Ning would like. After all, looks mattered a lot to Xie Ning. Since childhood, even if a dish was plated beautifully, Xie Ning would be willing to eat a few extra bites.
Father Xie looked him over and asked warmly, “Xiao Pei, what time is it over there for you? Is the time difference hard to handle?”
Pei Zhi answered easily, “Not too bad. I slept on the plane and on the way here. I’m fine right now.”
Then, once Father Xie mentioned the flowers and plants in the yard, Pei Zhi instantly launched into a smooth string of praise.
“Even though it’s winter now, you can still tell how carefully they’ve been tended. The branches are trimmed with real artistic sense…”
Father Xie modestly said, “Not really, I’m just an amateur.”
In reality, he was already being flattered into floating on air.
Pei Zhi continued in the same serious, convincing tone, praising Father Xie’s gardening and aesthetic taste.
Xie Ning: “…”
His dad liked fiddling with flowers and trees, yes, but he was not particularly gifted at it. More often than not, he somehow managed to make healthy plants look undernourished, even when he gave them everything they needed.
Fortunately, he never managed to kill them outright, so Xie Ning’s mother just let him have at it.
After they went downstairs, every pair of eyes turned toward the staircase.
When they saw Pei Zhi, Xie Ning’s mother looked surprised, and even Qi Ran’s mother let out a little “Wow.” “Ningning’s friend is so handsome. Sure enough, beautiful people like to hang around with beautiful people.”
None of the adults said anything beyond that, just smiled. Pei Zhi greeted them politely, and they all headed out into the yard to grill.
David was extremely attentive the whole time, enthusiastically fetching things, helping with the barbecue, passing out cooked meat. Pei Zhi was unwilling to be outdone. While chatting with Father Xie, he also kept turning the meat over on the grill.
Through the swirling white smoke, the two men exchanged a brief glance, and the warmth in Pei Zhi’s eyes dropped by a few degrees. David shivered. He could suddenly feel the hostility.
This man… seemed to dislike him.
He could not quite say why, but his instincts told him that this Chinese guy not only disliked him, but regarded him with strong hostility. If he had to describe it, it was as if… he were a thief who had stolen away the other man’s most precious treasure.
Xie Ning’s mother grilled a piece of meat, cut it up, and shared it around. “Here, everyone try some and tell me if it tastes good.”
Pei Zhi took the bowl with both hands and deliberately gave the larger piece to Xie Ning, keeping the smaller one for himself. Then he picked up his chopsticks, tasted a bite, and suddenly looked grave, like a food critic evaluating fine cuisine. “Auntie.”
The seriousness of his expression made everyone around the table turn to look.
Even Xie Ning’s mother grew a little nervous. “What is it?”
Pei Zhi said solemnly, “How did you manage to grill this so perfectly? I really need to learn. The meat you cooked tastes incredible.”
Xie Ning: “…”
Qi Ran, holding the kitchen scissors, thought: “?”
He chewed twice and wondered what was so special about it.
Xie Ning’s mother waved a hand, laughing. Nobody disliked hearing nice things, especially not from a handsome young man. “Oh, it’s nothing special. I just grilled it casually.”
Pei Zhi said, “If this is what casually grilling produces, then your talent is extraordinary, Auntie.”
Xie Ning’s lids twitched. Under the table, he could not help reaching out and tugging lightly at Pei Zhi’s pant leg, signaling that enough was enough.
This was getting ridiculous…
Pei Zhi turned his head slightly and said in a low voice, “I mean every word.”
Xie Ning: “…”
Why had he ever thought Pei Zhi was some quiet, aloof, cool guy?
Then again, maybe he really had been.
Only now he had transformed into the world’s biggest suck-up.
Qi Ran leaned over and whispered, “Bro, what’s going on? Why does he feel like a totally different person? Is he possessed or cursed or something? Was he always this shamelessly eager? Honestly, this is exactly like… like a son-in-law groveling after meeting his father-in-law and mother-in-law. Yeah. Exactly like that.”
To be fair, Qi Ran’s instincts were not bad. Xie Ning glanced at Pei Zhi, then at the elders, who were all smiling and clearly delighted, before turning back to Qi Ran. “Don’t ask. Just eat.”
Pei Zhi performed extremely well. He was conversational, easygoing, and knew a little about everything. Whatever topic came up, if he caught it, he could hold forth on it for quite a while.
All the elders liked him. Even the hardest to please, Father Xie, kept nodding approvingly.
Xie Ning’s mother quietly asked, “Tell me honestly, has Baby Ning really been eating on time?”
Xie Ning said helplessly, “Mom, I really haven’t been skipping meals.”
Pei Zhi glanced at Xie Ning, who looked entirely justified.
He only occasionally forgot to eat. But when he remembered, he would make up for it. Although the meal he “made up for” was usually the one Pei Zhi brought over.
So this was what Xie Ning looked like in front of his parents—willing to tell tiny little lies too.
Too cute.
Pei Zhi seemed to smile. It earned him a slightly unhappy look from Xie Ning, and under the table, he secretly squeezed Xie Ning’s fingers before replying in all seriousness, “No, Ningning has been eating regularly. He really isn’t lying to you.”
“He even keeps bread with him to fill his stomach. Don’t worry, he’s been taking good care of himself.”
Xie Ning’s mother said with relief, “That’s good. I always worry that Baby Ning keeps things from us. He never liked talking since he was little, always keeping everything to himself. I really worry about him being bullied.”
Xie Ning did report certain things to them, like his academic progress and what awards he had won, but what his mother cared about was not those things. What she cared about was whether he had eaten properly.
But Xie Ning rarely shared things like that with his family. First, because he felt guilty and didn’t want to tell them. Second, because he genuinely felt these little daily details were not worth bringing up.
Xie Ning corrected, “If I were really being bullied, I’d definitely say so.”
He added helplessly, “I’m not that stupid.”
From the side, Pei Zhi said, “Mm. You’re the smartest.”
Xie Ning: “…”
Pei Zhi’s tone had been perfectly normal, yet for some reason Xie Ning felt his face heating up.
The adults around them were laughing and teasing, and Xie Ning suddenly had the odd sensation that he and Pei Zhi were secretly doing something improper right under their noses.
Under the table, their legs were pressed tightly together. Outside in the yard, the winter wind hissed through the air. Their body heat, however, was burning.
As Pei Zhi kept placing slices of freshly grilled meat into his bowl, he also kept brushing his leg against Xie Ning’s.
“Is it good?” Pei Zhi asked quietly. Then his tone turned soft and intimate. “I really want to feed you.”
Xie Ning shot him a warning look.
Pei Zhi looked completely innocent.
“Baby Ning, why not stay a little longer this time?” Xie Ning’s mother said. “Don’t rush back to school so soon.”
Xie Ning replied, “We still have exams.”
Looking troubled, she said, “Then for these next few days, wherever you two want to go, just tell us. We’ll arrange it. Xiao Pei too—don’t be shy with us.”
“Thank you, Uncle, Auntie. We’ll just go with whatever you arrange,” Pei Zhi said. “Anywhere you choose is bound to be one of the best places in Los Angeles.”
David, who had barely gotten a word in all this time, finally found an opening. “Xie Ning, you… what schools are you thinking of applying to next?”
“Could you tell me?”
At once, Pei Zhi’s face darkened. He looked at David, then at Xie Ning.
Xie Ning took a sip of water. “Why are you asking?”
David answered honestly, “Because I want to go where you go.”
Xie Ning disliked sharing his plans with people he wasn’t close to, but since David had asked directly, he didn’t want to refuse too bluntly. So he only said, “I haven’t decided yet.”
“Then can you tell me when you do?”
Pei Zhi’s tone turned sharply cold, almost rude, as he cut straight across them. He set a piece of meat into Xie Ning’s bowl. “Try this. This one’s good. It just came off the grill. Eat it while it’s hot—once it cools down, the texture won’t be as good.”
Then his expression softened again. “Auntie, the sauce you mixed is really unique.”
Xie Ning’s mother asked, “What’s unique about it?”
Pei Zhi replied, “It’s unbelievably delicious.”
Xie Ning’s mother laughed. “Xiao Pei, you really do know how to talk.”
Handsome, emotionally intelligent, and sweet-tongued.
No wonder Xie Ning had made friends with him.
Xie Ning slowly ate his grilled meat, doing his best to ignore Pei Zhi’s leg pressed against his and the looks Pei Zhi kept sending him—half aggrieved, half plaintive.
Like a husband watching his wife have an affair.
Xie Ning found his own comparison ridiculous and nearly coughed. Then he did cough, twice, followed by a sneeze.
Before anyone else could react, Pei Zhi had already stripped off his outer coat and draped it over Xie Ning’s shoulders, then gathered the lapels closed around him.
Concern filled his features as he lowered his head and asked softly, “Are you cold?”
Xie Ning shook his head.
He had probably just gotten some seasoning down the wrong way. He wasn’t actually cold.
Pei Zhi very much wanted to touch his hand or face and check his temperature, but with everyone here he didn’t dare. So he forced himself to let it go. “If you’re cold, say so. Don’t tough it out.”
Xie Ning said, “Mm.”
His mother added, “Baby Ning, if you feel cold, go inside. Don’t catch cold. It took forever to get your rhinitis under control. Don’t bring it back with a bad chill.”
Qi Ran’s mother chimed in, “Exactly. Rhinitis is so hard to manage. Once it’s better, you really don’t want it coming back.”
“He didn’t used to have rhinitis,” Xie Ning’s mother sighed. “Wasn’t it because when we moved in such a rush, the child he used to walk home with every day just happened not to be there…”
She abruptly stopped herself and looked at Xie Ning. “Can I say this?”
If Xie Ning disliked the subject, she wouldn’t continue.
Xie Ning said, “I don’t mind.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
If his mother hadn’t brought it up, Xie Ning likely wouldn’t have remembered. So many things from childhood had already blurred, only rough outlines remaining.
Maybe that was simply because he had grown up.
The people who can remember your childhood in careful detail are the ones who love you most. Parents.
The memories Xie Ning himself had let fade, his parents still remembered perfectly.
“Back then, on the day we were supposed to move, Baby Ning still insisted on going to school. He said he wanted to tell his friend in person. But that friend didn’t come back, so he waited a very, very long time under the tree where they always met after school,” Xie Ning’s mother said. “That day it snowed. It was freezing.”
“We got worried at home, wondering why Baby Ning still hadn’t returned. We were afraid something had happened to him. When we came to the school, we found him there with his face frozen blue.”
Xie Ning’s father added, “After catching that terrible cold, he got his rhinitis.”
Xie Ning only knew that his rhinitis came from a bad cold. He’d forgotten all the specifics.
After that heavy snowfall, the rhinitis stayed with him, even through university. It was only recently, after changing dorms, that it had slowly started to get better.
Under the table, something nudged his leg. He turned his head. Pei Zhi was looking at him with a strangely intense expression.
His dark, deep-set eyes were full of emotion, visibly shaken—surprise, confusion, realization, self-reproach—all tangled together in a way that left even Xie Ning puzzled.
Xie Ning asked, “Did the spice hit you?”
Pei Zhi said, “No.”
The seasoning wasn’t even that spicy. Pei Zhi parted his lips slightly as if to say something more, then closed them again.
“A little thirsty,” he said instead.
Xie Ning reached over and passed him some mulled wine. After a second’s thought, he added a bottle of mineral water too.
Since the topic had turned to childhood, Qi Ran suddenly had plenty to say. After all, he had practically followed Xie Ning around for most of his life. “And honestly, I always hated that kid. He was always clinging to my brother, saying they were the world’s best friends and would be best friends forever. But what happened after? After my brother moved, that guy never so much as made a sound.”
“Bro, do you remember? Back then, you left a note with Uncle’s new phone number on it.”
“So many years and that phone never rang once.”
Pei Zhi murmured, “A note?”
He asked, “Where did you leave it?”
Qi Ran shrugged. “Don’t remember exactly. I think he gave it to some teacher.”
Xie Ning really couldn’t remember. That whole memory was hazy. He had been sick and dizzy that day, his vision swimming, so naturally the details were blurred.
Xie Ning’s mother said, “You gave it to a teacher, but I think it was a teacher from the upper grades? Your dad asked him to pass it on. You were half-delirious with fever, but you still grabbed that teacher’s sleeve and asked him to help you deliver a message.”
“That you’d moved away and wouldn’t be walking home together anymore, and that he shouldn’t wait for you in the future.” She sighed. “You were shivering with fever and still insisted on saying that since the weather was so cold, he shouldn’t wait for you anymore or he’d catch cold.”
“In the end, you were the one who got sick,” Xie Ning’s father said. “Do you remember? After that, every day after school the first thing you did was ask me for my phone.”
Xie Ning said, “I remember.”
Every day after school, he asked his father for the phone, terrified he’d miss a call from his friend.
They talked about many more childhood stories. Even after moving away, Xie Ning had remained the same—cold, reserved, difficult to approach.
Many children had even secretly nicknamed him “Snow White.”
Because Xie Ning was so pale. His skin looked like fresh tofu just lifted from water—white and tender. He also seemed refined and elegant, never talked much, and fit everyone’s idea of a princess from a fairy tale.
The children knew “princess” wasn’t really the right term for a boy, but “prince” didn’t capture the feeling they wanted either.
So behind his back, they all called little Xie Ning that.
Beside him, Pei Zhi’s state was visibly off. He was listening so intently, as if he were afraid of missing a single detail, yet at the same time he seemed to drift in and out.
Xie Ning thought he might be physically uncomfortable or maybe just tired from lack of sleep the night before. “Should we go upstairs and rest a bit?” he said. “Your jet lag still hasn’t settled.”
Xie Ning’s mother added, “That’s true. Xiao Pei only just arrived, and jet lag is exhausting. Why don’t you two go upstairs and rest for a bit? But don’t sleep too long, or you won’t be able to sleep tonight.”
Both of them responded, and when they got up to leave, Pei Zhi still remembered to politely say goodbye.
As they walked away, Xie Ning vaguely heard the adults murmuring things like “good character,” “nice boy,” and “very suitable.”
…
Back in the room, Xie Ning locked the door. He made sure it was really locked before turning around—only to have Pei Zhi suddenly scoop him up.
His feet left the floor. Xie Ning’s brows drew together. He wasn’t short, but every time Pei Zhi picked him up like this, he was reminded that next to Pei Zhi, he really wasn’t tall at all.
Caught in his arms and even needing to lift his chin to meet his gaze, he found the height and size difference a little frustrating.
Still, Xie Ning raised an arm and laid his palm lightly against Pei Zhi’s cheek. “What’s wrong? Did the barbecue not suit your taste?”
“It’s not that.” Pei Zhi pressed his face into Xie Ning’s hand. “It was good. Uncle and Auntie are both really kind.”
Xie Ning said, “But your state is strange.”
Pei Zhi replied, “It’s not because of that.”
He didn’t know how to begin.
After hesitating a long time, with deep conflict plain in his handsome features, he finally asked in a cautious voice, “Did you wait for a long time?”
Xie Ning blinked. “For what?”
“When you were little. Waiting for someone after school.”
He paused, his voice softening even more. “Did you… wait a long time?”
“Actually, I can’t remember that clearly anymore. I was so little then. Not many people can remember elementary school that clearly, right?”
At those words, disappointment flickered through Pei Zhi. But then Xie Ning added, “Although, strangely enough, I remember this one very clearly.”
He said, “I waited a very long time. I was the last one left at school.”
That one sentence, delivered in his usual calm, almost expressionless manner, carried no self-pity at all. As though this tiny thing from his childhood no longer mattered in the slightest.
And perhaps it really didn’t. To little Xie Ning back then, it had been a crushing event. But to the Xie Ning of today, it was lighter than a feather.
Pei Zhi felt his heart jolt.
It was as if a jagged crack had suddenly split across it, and winter wind rushed into the gap, the cold slicing all the way to his bones.
He held Xie Ning even tighter and leaned over to kiss his brow and eyes. “And then?”
“There wasn’t an ‘and then,’” Xie Ning said. “When he didn’t show up, I left.”
He’d also been sick by then.
Xie Ning himself had never considered this matter particularly important, but Pei Zhi seemed to care about it very much. And he kept asking about it again and again.
Was he angry on Xie Ning’s behalf? Did he feel sorry for him? Or both?
“Xie Ning.” Pei Zhi opened his mouth. “I…”
Xie Ning interrupted gently, “Are you trying to comfort me because you think I was hurt by it?”
Pei Zhi said nothing.
Xie Ning continued, “I’m not that fragile. Back then I was little, so yes, maybe I did feel a little hurt. But that was all a long time ago.”
The little Xie Ning back then really had thought, aggrieved and sad:
Weren’t we supposed to be best friends? Then why didn’t a single call ever come?
Even without having seen it, Pei Zhi could picture it. Tiny Xie Ning sitting under a tree in the snow, schoolbag on his back, little back straight, both hands placed neatly on his knees, waiting so obediently.
And all he got in return was a terrible cold.
Then, after that, little Xie Ning would stare at his father’s phone with those pretty eyes, waiting for a call from his best friend.
Every time the phone lit up, hope would flare. Then the call would connect, and it wouldn’t be the person he was waiting for. His lashes would lower in disappointment.
Then the next time the phone rang, hope would bloom all over again.
Over and over, waiting until the last trace of hope had gone out.
Pei Zhi’s heart filled with a sour, aching feeling. He hurt for the child Xie Ning had been, for the boy who kept waiting only to be disappointed.
He pressed a hand to Xie Ning’s back again. “Xie Ning.”
“Why are you saying my name so seriously all of a sudden?”
Pei Zhi said, “I changed my name in middle school.”
Xie Ning blinked. “Hm?”
He waited for him to continue.
“When I was little, my parents fought all the time. Every day they talked about divorce and made me choose sides. I didn’t want either, so I went back to the old town with my grandparents.”
He stopped for a second, suddenly finding the rest difficult to say. “I…”
How was Pei Zhi supposed to tell him that the person he had been waiting for all those years ago… had been him?
When Pei Zhi was little, his parents fought and fought about divorce. Both demanded that he choose. Both listed all the other’s faults. He was small, but his temper wasn’t. He chose neither of them and packed up to leave with his maternal grandparents, escaping all of it.
But as someone who had grown up in a big city, moving to a small town left him feeling out of place. He didn’t fit in with the other children there. They were too noisy, too wild, as if they’d jump up a tree at any second.
There was only one exception.
At summer camp, he had met a little boy with a face so delicate it looked sculpted from snow. His cheeks were soft and pale, but his chin was small and graceful. When he spoke, he was slow and careful, and there was a little dimple below his lip.
He had been too cute.
Like a little doll made of snow and ice.
Pei Zhi learned that the boy’s name was Xie Ning, and from then on, he watched him constantly. Later he even found out what class he was in and wanted to transfer into it himself.
His grandparents thought it was funny and naturally didn’t allow it.
So he copied what the other boys did: he wrote little love notes and gave him snacks, but Xie Ning never even glanced at them.
He’d been hurt over that for ages.
Then later, he ran into Xie Ning outside the amusement park. It was Xie Ning’s birthday, and his little round head was topped with a paper birthday crown.
He looked exactly like a prince from a fairy tale.
Little Pei Zhi had been thrilled. He took him into the amusement park and they played all sorts of things. It was the happiest day he’d had since coming to that town.
When he held Xie Ning’s soft little hand and pushed him on the swing, the whole world seemed to brighten.
From then on, little Pei Zhi finally got the chance to walk home with him. But he hated it when other people got too close to Xie Ning. He always felt that if anyone else entered their friendship, it wouldn’t be as close, wouldn’t be as pure.
So he constantly whispered the same things into Xie Ning’s ear: “We have to be best friends forever.” “We’re the best friends in the world.” Although Xie Ning always ignored him.
Still, he took the silence as agreement.
One day, little Pei Zhi had to leave town for a competition. Before he went, he took hold of Xie Ning’s hand and said, “I don’t want to go.”
“I want to pack you into my suitcase and take you with me.”
Little Xie Ning only looked at him in silence.
Realizing belatedly how creepy that sounded, little Pei Zhi hurriedly changed tack. “Then can you kiss me?”
“No,” little Xie Ning turned his head, showing a soft white cheek. “Teacher said kissing is only for people you like.”
Little Pei Zhi got anxious at once. “Then I’m not someone you like? Who do you like? I’ll go beat him to death.”
Little Xie Ning’s eyes widened. “Why are you so violent?”
“If you’re going to be better with someone else, why should I stay polite?”
Little Xie Ning didn’t answer, so he pressed further, “You’re not allowed to be better with anyone else. We’re the best in the world.”
Little Xie Ning deliberately answered, “No.”
Sometimes, little Xie Ning liked teasing him a bit. He found it funny. But little Pei Zhi had taken it seriously.
He had practically panicked. But if Xie Ning really did have a better friend, there was nothing he could do. So he could only threaten him. “Say no again and I’ll kiss you.”
Those clear eyes looked right at him. Little Xie Ning said softly, “Friends can’t kiss. Only lovers can. If you kiss me, you’ll never be able to get a wife in the future.”
And then little Pei Zhi kissed him anyway.
A loud, solid kiss. It stunned him on the spot.
“I don’t want a wife,” little Pei Zhi said. “I only want you.”
Then he thought for a second and added, “You can be my wife.”
Little Xie Ning’s face turned bright red. His face had already been small, and flushing like that only made him more adorable—like a tiny apple.
Embarrassed and angry, he got mad and refused to talk to him.
Little Pei Zhi spent ages trying to coax him, but eventually his family came to hurry him along, and he had to leave. Desperate, he lowered his voice. “Don’t stay mad. Be mad at me when I get back, okay? I’ll keep apologizing then.”
Little Xie Ning remained silent.
“I’ll bring you snacks.”
“No.”
“A game console then?”
“No.”
Little Pei Zhi pleaded, “Whatever you want, I’ll buy it for you. Just don’t stay mad.”
Little Xie Ning said, “I’m staying mad.”
Later, when little Pei Zhi returned to school, he waited under the tree as usual for Xie Ning after class. But that day, he waited and waited until the sky went dark, and still the little figure never appeared.
The next day he had come down with a cold too, but even then he dragged himself to school. That was when he learned: Xie Ning had moved away.
Everyone else knew he had moved away. Only he hadn’t.
He had just gone on sitting there stupidly, waiting for a very, very long time.
Little Pei Zhi was terrified. He thought Xie Ning hadn’t told him because he was still angry, because he hadn’t forgiven him for the kiss, because he didn’t want to be friends with him anymore.
He asked all the children and even the teachers, but no one could help him contact Xie Ning. Xie Ning’s parents had changed their phone number, and the old one no longer worked.
Little Pei Zhi had sat under that tree looking lost, like he had been abandoned there.
But in fact, he hadn’t been the one abandoned.
Xie Ning had not failed to tell him about the move, nor had he stayed angry. Xie Ning had also waited under that same tree, just like him, for a very, very long time.
They had simply missed each other.
When Pei Zhi met Xie Ning again at university, he had recognized him immediately. But he hadn’t dared claim they knew each other. He hadn’t even dared say a word.
He had always thought that Xie Ning ignored him because he was still angry, because that stolen kiss had disgusted him, and because that was why he moved away without telling him.
Yet Xie Ning had left him a note too.
He just never got it.
Pei Zhi suddenly remembered a conversation he’d overheard in the office back then. One teacher had asked another, “What did Xie’s dad give you that day? A red envelope?”
A male teacher scoffed, casually crumpling a piece of paper into a ball and tossing it into the trash bin. “If only it were a red envelope.”
Could that have been the note Xie Ning left behind?
Pei Zhi didn’t know. Too much time had passed, leaving no answers, and no one could give him an answer either.
“Xie Ning, I…”
Pei Zhi began to grow nervous again, his palms breaking into a cold sweat.
He had changed his name, so it was completely normal that Xie Ning hadn’t recognized him. But now, telling Xie Ning all of this made him feel somewhat uneasy again.
“Can I kiss you?” Whenever Pei Zhi got nervous, he wanted to kiss Xie Ning.
Xie Ning gave a soft “mhm,” opening his mouth to let Pei Zhi kiss him. Taking his lips into his own, Pei Zhi sucked and toyed with his soft, tender red tongue, tasting the sweet, delicious saliva within, until his restless thoughts finally settled down a bit.
After releasing Xie Ning, Pei Zhi called out, “Baby.”
“Pei Zhi, what on earth is wrong with you?” Xie Ning knit his brows slightly. “Is it just my imagination? You’re acting really strange today.”
“I…” Pei Zhi got tongue-tied. Lowering his head and bending down, he looked at Xie Ning with wide, pleading eyes. “I have something to tell you in a bit. Don’t be mad at me.”
Xie Ning’s expression remained calm. “Tell me what it is first, then I’ll decide whether to promise not to get mad.”
Now Pei Zhi was even more afraid to speak. He nuzzled against Xie Ning’s cheek with an aggrieved look. “Baby, how can you be like this?”
“Being all secretive, laying down a ton of buildup, and then ending up saying nothing at all. Acting as if the sky is falling, yet not dropping a single piece of useful information for ages while leaving me here worrying.” Xie Ning looked back at him coolly. “Pei Zhi, how can you be like this?”
