Chapter 53: A Beautiful Wish
Fu Rangyi remembered those words.
After all, the note that read, [Fu Rangyi, eat it if you want. Zhu Zhixi is very generous], was still lying in the drawer of his study, together with the broken beaded bracelet. Whether it was chocolate or Zhu Zhixi, both were surprises that had fallen from the sky, gifts outside of all plans.
Zhu Zhixi took his hand, touched it, lifted it, and swung it a few times. Then he said to him, “Although biting my neck probably doesn’t have any real effect, and I’m not like an Omega who can physiologically soothe you, it’s still better than nothing, right? Bite me a little, release some pheromones, go through the marking process. It can count as psychological comfort. Just like last time, when I got drunk and bit your gland, I was really happy too.”
As he spoke, his fingers slipped between Fu Rangyi’s, interlacing with his. “Fu Rangyi, I’m serious. Don’t endure it. Don’t hide it all in your heart. Since you already trust me this much, you can try relying on me a little more too.”
After Zhu Zhixi finished speaking, he looked up at him and tilted his head. “You’re not saying anything again. You’re just staring at me. What are you looking at?”
Fu Rangyi did not know what to say. He was surrounded by an unprecedented unease, as though he were submerged in water. The better Zhu Zhixi was, the more unreal it felt, the more it seemed like a dream. As if the moment he closed his eyes, this person would disappear, and his life would return to the way it used to be.
But he could no longer go back.
As desire faded, the pheromones inside the car gradually turned cold and bitter.
Zhu Zhixi, of course, knew nothing about this. But even without pheromones, he could still sense Fu Rangyi’s emotions, so he continued comforting him. “Don’t worry, Teacher Little Fu. At least we’re not completely in the dark anymore. There’ll definitely be a way.”
His smile was bright and his eyes were clear, as though he was filled with hope for everything. Fu Rangyi looked at him and finally raised his arms, pulling Zhu Zhixi into an embrace.
“Why are you smiling?” His arms tightened around him, but his tone was mild.
Zhu Zhixi froze when he heard this. After a pause, he raised his hand and stroked Fu Rangyi’s back, saying casually, “Because I just like smiling. Is this your first day knowing me?”
“Is that so?” Fu Rangyi buried his face in the hollow of his neck. “But earlier, when we were talking about what would happen when the countdown reached zero, you were silent for a long time. It was only after you saw my face turn bad and Liang Yien looking worried that you suddenly spoke up and had everyone cheer together.”
Hearing this, Zhu Zhixi was rendered speechless and at a loss.
Fu Rangyi continued, “You often pretend to be optimistic, especially when you’re afraid. At times like that, your voice becomes higher than usual, and your tone becomes more exaggerated. When you’re truly happy, you’re not like that.”
As Zhu Zhixi listened, he gave a small laugh and said, “What are you talking about? I really am optimistic. I…”
As he spoke, his nose suddenly stung for no reason, and he abruptly could not continue. He had no choice but to lower his head as well and bury his face against Fu Rangyi’s neck.
Aren’t you the one with mind-reading powers?
Fu Rangyi stroked his back and told him in a certain, calm voice, “It’s all right to be afraid. You don’t have to hide your negative emotions just to make other people feel at ease. At least, you don’t need to do that in front of me.”
It was the first time anyone had ever said something like this to him. Tears gathered in Zhu Zhixi’s eyes. Clearly, this person was anxious too, yet he could still perceive his emotions so keenly.
After a long silence, he barely suppressed the sob in his throat and said, “Of course I’m a little scared. When something like this happens, I don’t think anyone could not be scared, right?”
“Mm,” Fu Rangyi said. “Of course.”
“Before today, I thought of so many possibilities. But after really learning what this countdown means, I feel so sad.” Zhu Zhixi sniffed. “I suddenly realized that what’s in my palm isn’t a string of numbers. It’s a real life. It’s a little dog. It might be sick, or maybe very, very old, and it’s about to leave this world.”
The tears still fell, dripping onto Fu Rangyi’s neck.
“I know.” Fu Rangyi patted his back. “I understand what you mean.”
But Zhu Zhixi’s tears would not stop. He thought it was absurd, but he could not control his emotions. He could only cry in Fu Rangyi’s arms and say, “At least I still have everyone. Everyone is helping me. I still have my family with me, and I have you. But that little white dog, I don’t even know where it is, whether it has food, whether it has somewhere to hide…”
The first time they met, it had run out, wandering on the street. Just like Little Yu had said, it knew it was about to die, so it had left home. Then where was it now?
“We’ll find it.” Fu Rangyi loosened his hold slightly, cupped his face, took out a tissue, and pressed it gently against his eyelids. Like coaxing a child, he said softly, “Maybe it still has some wish it hasn’t fulfilled yet. It went to do those things. If we extend the countdown, it can stay a little longer too, right?”
Zhu Zhixi reached out and pressed the tissue down himself. With a reddened nose, he nodded. After a while, he lowered the hand holding the tissue and hugged himself.
Seeing him hug himself with red-rimmed eyes, Fu Rangyi was a little puzzled. He found him pitiful yet adorable. “What does this mean? Do you think I didn’t comfort you well enough? You still need to hug yourself?”
“No.” Zhu Zhixi closed his eyes and said in a tiny voice, “Didn’t Little Yu say there’s still a wisp of the little dog’s soul inside my body? You’ve finished coaxing me, so now it’s my turn to coax it.”
Fu Rangyi froze for a second, then smiled. He also stretched out his arms and hugged this little god of love who was embracing himself. In a warm voice, he said, “Then I’ll coax it again with you.”
“Mm.” Zhu Zhixi said softly, “Good doggy, you’re the best little dog in the whole world.”
This sounded exactly like something someone who had dealt with dogs for years would say. But for some reason, Fu Rangyi suddenly felt as if he too had been soothed.
How strange.
Over the following week, they were either looking for the dog or working. Fu Rangyi could not stay home alone, so he simply went to the museum with Zhu Zhixi. In name, he was helping out, and he insisted that Zhu Zhixi give him the title of “professional consultant.”
However, what the professional consultant did most often was not providing professional advice. It was releasing pheromones to create a natural barrier, then dragging the busy curator into a bathroom stall to kiss, hug, and conveniently “mark” him.
“My neck is going to break.” Zhu Zhixi’s legs were weak from being kissed, but his mouth still had the strength to joke. “I come to work every day now with a waterproof Band-Aid on, and I change it every day too. It’s like an Omega wearing a suppression patch.”
Fu Rangyi was still buried in the hollow of his neck, breathing heavily. Every time after he “marked” him, there would be a very quiet period during which Zhu Zhixi was not allowed to let go, as though Fu Rangyi needed time to recover.
After it happened enough times, Zhu Zhixi figured out some of Doctor Dog’s patterns during his anxious period.
For example, Fu Rangyi was the clingiest when he woke up and before he slept. At night, if Zhu Zhixi slipped out of his arms while sleeping, in less than five minutes, he would be hugged again.
In the mornings, he was even easier to seduce. It was very easy for things to get out of control. He also especially liked holding Zhu Zhixi from behind, biting the nape of his neck while doing it. Although most of the time they would not go all the way and only simulated it, his arms would hold him especially tightly. Several times, Zhu Zhixi nearly could not breathe. Sometimes, his palm would slip into Zhu Zhixi’s pajamas and travel all the way up, gripping his neck, turning his chin, and forcefully making him turn his face to kiss him.
Soothe Doctor Dog was not easy. Finding a nameless little dog was even harder.
They did not even know the little white dog’s specific age, sex, or other details. The only clue was the photo Zhu Zhixi had taken on the afternoon of the teachers’ dinner, when he happened to run into the dog. But the dog in the photo had been running, so the image was very blurry.
Fu Rangyi contacted several professional dog-finding teams, but because the task was too difficult, they all declined.
Relying on his memory, Zhu Zhixi drew a portrait of the dog, attached the candid photo, wrote down the time and place he had met it, and turned it into a very delicate and cute poster. He even worked overtime and rushed out a video, posting it on his own account.
After clicking publish, he clasped his hands together. “Dog god, bless me. I must find it.”
“We can. Netizens can find anything.”
“I hope so. I’m just worried that a video unrelated to travel won’t get many views.”
However, reality completely exceeded his expectations. The next day, when Zhu Zhixi opened the comments, he felt like the sky had collapsed. More than half of the discussion in the comment section had completely gone off track, because when he recorded the video, he forgot to take off his wedding ring. He also had not closed the door. In a few frames, Fu Rangyi happened to pass by his room while walking from the living room back to the study.
And so the comments began discussing his marital status. Zhu Zhixi was so angry he grabbed Fu Rangyi and shook him for a long time.
“Why didn’t you hide properly?”
Fu Rangyi raised a brow. “Why should I hide? This is my home. You didn’t notify me in advance either.”
True. Zhu Zhixi became even more hopeless and rested his chin on his shoulder. “Great. Now no one is helping me find the little dog. They’re all trying to find my husband…”
Fu Rangyi lowered his head and pinched his cheek.
“What are you doing?” Zhu Zhixi lifted his face and stared at him.
Fu Rangyi blinked.
Can’t I be made public? No one told me this was supposed to be a secret marriage.
Besides, those students on the school forum knew your account ages ago. Otherwise, how could the comment section have spread this quickly? They’re just university students on winter break, bored at home with nothing to do except gossip.
“Nothing.” He stood up. “I wanted to say that I repaired that photo for you. You can replace it with the new one.”
“Really?” Zhu Zhixi immediately came back to life and followed Fu Rangyi to the study.
The restored photo was even clearer than he had imagined.
“Great. I’ll reprint some posters. Tomorrow I’ll take them to the place where I picked it up, and to You’an Street where I met it last time, and see if there are any bulletin boards where I can put them up.” Zhu Zhixi stood beside the computer chair. After speaking, he bent down and planted a loud kiss on Fu Rangyi’s cheek. “Teacher Fu, you’re amazing.”
Yet Fu Rangyi was lost in thought.
You can zone out even when I kiss you? Zhu Zhixi tilted his head and leaned into Fu Rangyi’s line of sight. “What are you thinking about?”
Only then did Fu Rangyi return to himself. He raised a hand to touch Zhu Zhixi’s face and asked quietly, “How old do you think this dog is?”
Zhu Zhixi looked at the screen. “Based on my experience, it should be over ten years old. I held it before, and its condition was obvious. It might even be thirteen or fourteen.”
Fu Rangyi was quiet for a while, then said, “You might not believe me when I say this, but I think I can roughly guess why I can affect the countdown.”
Zhu Zhixi was startled. “Really? Why?”
“In my senior year of high school, it was winter too. I remember it rained that day as well. I was on duty that day, and when I went to throw out the trash, I found a little dog. When I first saw it, I thought it was a mouse, because it was so small and so dirty, covered all over in mud and rainwater.”
Fu Rangyi sank into his memories. “It was lying in a small puddle. I felt like if the rain kept falling, it would either choke on mud or drown. So I picked it up and took it back to the dorm. It was frozen through. I wrapped a hot water bottle in a towel to warm it up and finally managed to save it. Later, I washed it. It really was a little white puppy, but…”
He glanced at the screen. “A puppy and an adult dog look too different. It didn’t have any distinctive markings either. If not for this countdown, I never would have connected them.”
He had almost forgotten this incident, not because too much time had passed, but because after Ruby was taken away, Fu Rangyi had forcefully stripped away all memories related to pets and forced himself not to think about them.
With no memories and no emotional connection, he would not be sad.
Moreover, that homeless little puppy would also remind him of himself.
Zhu Zhixi asked again, “What happened afterward?”
“Li Qiao said it was probably only a month old. I bought goat milk and fed it for many days with a syringe used for suppressants. I secretly took it to class with me. Later, it got better day by day, could walk and bark, and then it attracted the dorm supervisor. Our school was very strict and didn’t allow me to keep a dog in the dorm. They told me to send it away.”
“At the time, I had no choice. I called my adoptive mother and asked whether I could bring the dog home and have her help me care for it for a while, but she said the puppy was too small and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to raise it well.” Fu Rangyi continued, “The school gave me too little time. I had no choice but to ride my bicycle around looking for pet shops. In the end, I found one shop willing to take in stray dogs and boarded it there.”
He lowered his eyes. “Later, when I was on break and went to look for it again, the shop assistant told me it had already been adopted.”
After hearing this, Zhu Zhixi felt a little heartache. “Little Fu, don’t be sad. You were still a minor then, but you already did everything you could.”
Fu Rangyi still looked very calm. “We can go to that pet shop and ask. Maybe we can find the adopter’s information. Maybe it’s still with its owner.”
On the drive to the pet shop, Zhu Zhixi reviewed what had happened before and felt that many clues matched up.
“No wonder Little Yu called you Dad.” He looked at Fu Rangyi in the driver’s seat. “Because there’s also a wisp of that little dog’s soul in him. It was actually that little dog. It thinks you’re its dad.”
They happened to be at a red light. Fu Rangyi looked over, his eyes softer than ever. But he did not speak.
Zhu Zhixi said, “You pulled it back from the hands of death. Such a tiny life—if it hadn’t met you, maybe it would have already si— lived-longed.”
Fu Rangyi was amused by his sudden word replacement. Strictly speaking, Zhu Zhixi had already violated the rule. It should have been “god of longevity.” But he decided to tolerate this tiny flaw, because he seemed to have made one too just now.
“Its first perception and memory of human beings all came from you. You warmed it up, saved it, fed it milk, slept beside it, and played with it. In its heart, of course you were its dad. Maybe for its whole life, it…”
Zhu Zhixi frowned and suddenly could not continue.
For its short decade or so, maybe it had always, always missed you.
A horn sounded. Fu Rangyi, dazed, turned his face back and drove away from the intersection. He drove quietly the whole way until they arrived at the address of that pet shop.
He remembered it very clearly. It was here. Because when he left the puppy there back then, he had been so reluctant to part with it that he had held onto his bicycle and stood outside for a long, long time, so long that he remembered the pet shop’s storefront decoration—cream yellow, Little Flower Pet Shop, with a cartoon spotted dog on the sign. He even remembered the signs of the neighboring shops.
But after they parked, he revisited the old place only to find that the shop had disappeared. In its place was a clothing store.
Zhu Zhixi was still unwilling to give up and went inside to ask around. When he came back out, his head hung low.
“The owner said they closed down and moved away ages ago. The tenant has changed three times already.”
Fu Rangyi nodded. His face showed not the slightest emotion. He only said, “Then let’s go back first. We still need to go for the recheck tomorrow. We should rest early.”
Twilight enveloped the old street. The setting sun stretched his shadow very long, making him look lonely. For one hazy moment, Zhu Zhixi had the illusion that the person standing beside him was not the current Fu Rangyi, but a seventeen-year-old boy who had nothing.
“Niannian.” He suddenly spoke and called him that.
Hearing his childhood name, Fu Rangyi was momentarily dazed and turned to look at him. But in the next second, Zhu Zhixi hugged him.
The setting sun illuminated Zhu Zhixi’s face in gold. It was bright and translucent, the tiny fuzz on his cheeks glowing in the light. He looked even more like an angel than a real angel.
“It’s okay. Although we didn’t find it, I gained something especially, especially precious.”
“What?” Fu Rangyi reached out and gently brushed aside the hair on his forehead that had been messed up by the wind.
“The truth. Do you know what that truth is?” His tone was playful, as though he were telling a fairy tale. “The little white dog was always grateful to you and loved you very much, but it couldn’t find you and couldn’t stay with you. Maybe it had procrastination just like me, thinking it could take its time and there would always be a way. But then it saw the countdown and thought, oh no, there isn’t much time left. It was so anxious it ran around in circles, desperately trying to find a way. Then it met me and looked at me: huh? This person isn’t bad.”
Zhu Zhixi’s eyes were wet. He took a deep breath and smiled as he said, “So it brought me to your side, so I could love you.”
Author’s Note:
The little white dog met Zhu Zhixi, and its soul drifted and drifted, watching him come to Teacher Fu’s side, watching them go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register their marriage, watching them live together. It was very satisfied. Dogs can’t write. Otherwise, it definitely would have drawn a neat little check mark on its own bucket list.
Actually, the theme of this book also applies to the little white dog. The first time it was saved in its life was by Little Fu. Love arrived before death.
