Chapter 52: Separation Anxiety
Hearing the first thing Little Yu said after opening his mouth, Zhu Zhixi’s heart instantly went cold.
“It’s over. I feel like he hasn’t recovered much at all.”
Little Yu himself also seemed somewhat speechless about this sudden attempt at claiming kinship. He raised a hand and slapped his own head.
“His wings aren’t out either,” Fu Rangyi said.
“I made him put them away,” Liang Yien explained. “Feathers were falling all over the floor. Forget not being able to sweep them all up—the dogs kept rushing over to pounce on them too. It took forever to clean.” And one of my shirts was ruined too. Two huge holes got poked straight through the back.
After hearing that, Little Yu lowered his head. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Liang Yien patted his head.
Fu Rangyi stared at him. “You don’t plan on taking him to the hospital?”
“To check what?” Zhu Zhixi looked up. “His shedding?”
Fu Rangyi was silent for a few seconds. “I mean his amnesia.”
“The hospital won’t understand it. He isn’t human.”
“He’s in human form now. And he’s an Alpha.” Fu Rangyi sensed another kind of pheromone besides Liang Yien’s, a scent of myrrh and frankincense. It felt like sitting before a stained-glass window in a church, surrounded by curling incense smoke.
In this tiny room, there were three Alphas, and the clash of pheromones was very obvious. The only one bright and cheerful all by himself was the Beta who could not smell anything.
“We already took him for a checkup the last time he turned back into human form. It was useless.” Liang Yien sighed and said to Little Yu, “Hurry and take a look at Senior Zhixi’s countdown. What exactly is this? Can you find a way to solve it?”
Zhu Zhixi nodded quickly and sat down beside the bed, stretching out his hand like a devout believer asking for a fortune reading. “You can see it, right?” Fu Rangyi also came over and stood beside the bed, close to him.
Little Yu silently stared for a while, then extended his index finger. He looked up and glanced at Fu Rangyi. In the end, he only pointed at Zhu Zhixi’s palm from a distance.
Soon, a pale golden light suddenly bloomed between his palm and fingertip, spreading like mist, somewhat dazzling.
“So magical!” Zhu Zhixi tugged Fu Rangyi’s hand. “Quick, help me record a video!”
But Fu Rangyi had obviously crashed again. Seeing a supernatural phenomenon for the second time was still a little too much for the great professor to accept.
“I’ll film it for you,” Liang Yien said. But just as he took out his phone, the light scattered.
Little Yu rubbed his temples and said, “This isn’t your countdown.”
Zhu Zhixi was so excited he almost jumped up. “Really? If you’re lying, you’ll turn into a puppy!” Wait, no. He could already turn into a puppy. He could even turn into a big white hamster.
Liang Yien asked, “Then what time is this countdown counting down to?”
Little Yu answered calmly, “Death.”
Zhu Zhixi wilted again and was held by Fu Rangyi, whose brain circuitry had briefly reconnected.
“There’s a little dog’s soul inside your body. Just like me. But both are very faint.” Little Yu looked at Zhu Zhixi. “This isn’t your countdown. It should belong to that little dog.”
“Yes, exactly, that little white dog!” Zhu Zhixi said. “I wanted to save him.”
Little Yu nodded. “My guess is that something happened, causing his life countdown to accidentally connect to you.”
Zhu Zhixi nodded. He, the little white dog, and Little Yu had all appeared on the same rainy night. Thinking about it now, when he had been unconscious, he seemed to have had a dream too. In the dream, there were many angel-like people flying around.
Perhaps that had not been a dream at all, but something his soul had experienced after leaving his body? This was too strange and wonderful.
Fu Rangyi frowned. “So what exactly are you?”
“I’m not human.” Little Yu looked at him, utterly speechless. “My memories are still fragmented, but I remember that I used to work at the small-animal registration office, which is why I can see this countdown.”
“Registration office?” Fu Rangyi blinked. “You’re also inside the system?”
Zhu Zhixi wanted to laugh. “You can find common ground even in that?”
Little Yu seemed to find explaining too troublesome. After thinking for a moment, he said to them, “Have you ever noticed? Before many pets die, they don’t want to stay at home. They sneak out and find somewhere to hide. They don’t want their owners to watch them leave this world.”
All three nodded in unison.
Little Yu said, “Then have you ever wondered why little animals know they’re about to die?”
After hearing that, Zhu Zhixi instantly understood. “Because they have countdowns. They can see them themselves…”
“Correct.” Little Yu nodded. “We notify them ahead of time this way, giving them time to say goodbye to their friends, family, and owners. When the countdown is about to end, we take their souls away from here and bring them up for registration.” He pointed upward.
Everything matched.
Liang Yien asked, “Since this belongs to that little white dog… then why can Professor Fu affect the countdown?”
Little Yu looked at Fu Rangyi, then lowered his head and stared at Zhu Zhixi’s palm. He shook his head. “I don’t know. But there must be some kind of connection.”
Fu Rangyi, however, felt none of that mattered. He only cared about one thing. “Since this is your job, you should also have the ability to reset the wrongly connected countdown, right?”
“My abilities and memories have only recovered a portion for now. It’s not enough.”
After Liang Yien heard this, he collapsed face-first onto the quilt. His back seemed to have the words “a long and heavy road ahead” written all over it.
“And if we want to reset it, we also need to find that little dog first. Not just his body, but his soul too.” Little Yu looked at the two of them. “Before the countdown ends.”
“What if we can’t find him?” Fu Rangyi asked. “What will happen on the day it reaches zero?”
Little Yu was silent for a moment, then chose to be honest. “The instant it reaches zero, the soul will completely separate from the body. In other words, what you call death. With a mistaken binding like this, at least in my current memory, this should be the first time. So I can’t give you a definite answer.”
After saying that, he stared at Fu Rangyi, shivered for no reason, then frantically leaned toward Liang Yien, trying to burrow into his arms, completely forgetting that he currently had an adult body.
“What’s wrong?”
Little Yu glanced at a certain person again. “The things he’s thinking right now are so terrifying.”
Zhu Zhixi looked at Fu Rangyi, stroked his back, then pulled himself together and said, “It’s fine. We’ll definitely find the dog! At least now we’ve figured out what’s going on, and we can make a plan, right? That’s already great, friends.”
“Next goals: one, find the dog; two, help Little Yu recover his energy; three, switch the countdown back. Perfect!”
As he spoke, he stretched out the back of his hand. “Rescue Little Zhu Squad, let’s cheer ourselves on!”
Liang Yien had just been about to reach out when he suddenly realized something. He also smoothly pulled away Little Yu’s already extended hand. “Professor, you go first.”
Fu Rangyi said nothing, but his hand was already placed over his wife’s.
Little Yu’s mind was full of Fu Rangyi’s dark, crawling inner thoughts. He glanced at Liang Yien again. He did not want to put his hand down, nor did he want Liang Yien to do it.
After struggling for two seconds, a snow-white feather suddenly appeared out of thin air. It drifted down and landed on the back of Fu Rangyi’s hand. Only then did Little Yu put his hand on top, and he also grabbed Liang Yien’s hand and placed it on the back of his own.
“Let’s go, let’s go!”
Since they were already here and there were more hands available, Zhu Zhixi simply stayed behind to help bathe the animals at the stray shelter.
Little Yu brought over several pet carriers. Liang Yien opened the cages and said to Zhu Zhixi, “These few already have confirmed adopters. Let’s wash them clean and dry them first. Their new owners will come pick them up later.”
“That’s wonderful. You’re going to have homes.” Zhu Zhixi crouched down and stroked their heads. One little dog met his eyes, and for some reason, Zhu Zhixi thought of Fu Rangyi.
Would staying here make him think of his past at the orphanage? Would it make him uncomfortable? Thinking this, Zhu Zhixi raised his head and looked toward the courtyard.
Fu Rangyi was standing in the front yard, holding his phone in one hand, seemingly talking to someone. In the other hand, he held a plush toy, playing tug-of-war with a lively black Chinese rural dog. His whole person was like a metasequoia tree, tall, upright, and completely unmoving.
“What did I say?”
Hearing Liang Yien’s words, Zhu Zhixi turned back. “Hm? Say what?”
“When I saw that contract, I had a feeling you’d definitely turn the fake thing real. But I didn’t expect it to happen this fast.” Liang Yien glanced at him. “Senior, you really have no self-control at all.”
Zhu Zhixi smiled brightly. “You’re amazing. Why don’t you go become a fortune-teller? Bring Little Yu along. After he reads people’s minds and tells you, the two of you can do a double act. You’d definitely make money.”
“Don’t joke. I actually am working part-time as a pet communicator now.”
“That’s all fake!” Zhu Zhixi said.
“But Little Yu really can understand them,” Liang Yien said. “I let him read them, and after he does, I send it to the clients. Whether it’s meow meow meow or woof woof woof, he can understand.”
Zhu Zhixi blinked. “Can I get a membership with you guys? Read my husband’s inner thoughts every day.”
“I won’t.” Little Yu appeared behind the two of them like a ghost and crouched down.
Zhu Zhixi turned and whispered to him, “I’m Xiao’En’s best friend. You know what I mean, right?”
Little Yu paused, then said, “…He’s very, very anxious right now.”
Zhu Zhixi did not understand. “Anxious?”
“That’s normal, right?” Liang Yien cleared his throat. “You two… did you, you know?”
Zhu Zhixi’s ears reddened, and he nodded. “So?”
As the only Alpha among the three who had seriously completed physiology class, Liang Yien sighed and continued asking, “You probably didn’t… form a knot, right?”
Little Yu looked innocent. “What’s forming a knot?” Zhu Zhixi blinked along with him and looked at Liang Yien.
For some reason, Liang Yien’s face also turned red. His brain practically smoked. He gestured with his hands for a long while, then pointed at a little dog not far away. “Like that one. Didn’t it mate a while ago? During mating, they… they couldn’t pull apart. You remember, right?”
The little dog being pointed at whimpered, turned halfway around, then lay down and tucked its face into its tail.
Zhu Zhixi shook his head. “Then no. It came out right away.”
Liang Yien was speechless for a moment and somewhat regretted bringing up the topic. Was he currently crouching in front of a bunch of dogs and two people who understood nothing, collectively gossiping about his professor’s sex life? Help.
“What happens if there’s a knot?” Little Yu asked again.
“Alphas have a very strong possessive instinct toward their partners. They want to mark them. Marking is divided into temporary and permanent. Temporary marking is biting the gland and injecting pheromones into it. You should know that. As for permanent…” Liang Yien paused, his face reddening again as he gestured. “It has to enter the reproductive cavity, then form a knot, and then, uh, bite the neck at the same time…”
Then he continued, “If… two people have an intimate relationship that resembles a permanent mark, but there’s no actual knot and no actual marking, it’s like a person who really wants sugar eating artificial sweetener. Not only will it not satisfy them, their brain will crave real sugar even more in retaliation. Same principle.”
Little Yu nodded repeatedly. “His brain is full of that.” He also made a teeth-closing biting motion.
Zhu Zhixi finally understood. “Teacher Little Liang, I get it. You mean that if they do it but there’s no marking, the Alpha will become physiologically uneasy and anxious instead?” No wonder he could not sleep last night.
Liang Yien nodded heavily.
Little Yu said, “You really do understand.”
Liang Yien: “…”
“Then what should we do?” Zhu Zhixi was a little dejected. “But I don’t have a gland or a reproductive cavity. Even if he wants to mark me, he can’t.”
Liang Yien patted his shoulder and comforted him. “That’s how AB relationships are. Senior, just get used to it. Maybe Professor Fu will be fine in a few days and won’t be so clingy anymore.”
Actually, I like him being clingy, Zhu Zhixi thought.
But he did not like making Fu Rangyi feel uneasy. Aside from Alpha instinct, Zhu Zhixi knew better than anyone that Fu Rangyi himself was more prone to separation anxiety. Because to him, loss was the norm.
And unfortunately, there was also an unknown time bomb attached to Zhu Zhixi’s body, and no one knew whether it could be resolved.
Thinking of this, Zhu Zhixi suddenly stood up. “No, I have to go back.”
“You’re not staying for lunch?” Liang Yien asked. “I’m stewing beef today.”
“No.” Zhu Zhixi waved grandly. “I’m going back right now to work overtime on posters and missing-dog notices. We must find that little white dog within a week.”
After saying that, he ran to the front yard, hooked his arm around Fu Rangyi’s, and pulled him out. Before leaving, he turned back and waved at the two people inside the house.
After they left and walked onto the street, he asked, “Who were you on the phone with just now? You talked for so long.”
Fu Rangyi said, “Your sister-in-law.”
“Huh?” Zhu Zhixi immediately became alert and even let go of his hand. “How does he have your number? You clearly didn’t take his business card.”
Fu Rangyi lowered his head to glance at him, took the hand he had let go of, and forcibly tucked it back into the crook of his arm. Then he said, “I don’t know either. I just heard him ask whether I had time to meet him. I said no and was originally going to hang up.”
“Originally?” Zhu Zhixi narrowed his eyes. “Then why didn’t you?”
“Because I heard your brother’s voice.” Fu Rangyi raised a brow. “They suddenly started arguing, so I listened for a while.”
“My brother??” What kind of development was this? Zhu Zhixi could not figure it out. “He went to someone’s place to pick a fight on the first day of the New Year?”
“Seems like he went last night.” Fu Rangyi repeated Zhu Zeran’s words without emotion. “I heard him say something like, ‘Who ran over to your place last night to cook dumplings for you? Do you have any conscience?’”
Zhu Zhixi could not hold back his laughter, then hummed twice. “He actually went to get beaten during New Year…”
But when he thought about it again, he became a little confused. “But why is He Xueyao so obsessed with you?” It did not seem like he was trying to pursue him. Could it be that he really smelled the scent of another fox on Fu Rangyi?
When they reached the car, Fu Rangyi said, “I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.”
“You’re very conscious of being a married Alpha.” Zhu Zhixi took a step closer and tilted his face up. “There’s no one here. Hurry and kiss me.”
Fu Rangyi lowered his head and lightly kissed his lips. When they parted, he said, “I was afraid someone would ruin his own heels from standing on tiptoe.”
Zhu Zhixi belatedly reacted. “Are you mocking me? You sharp-tongued ghost.”
“Does that count as mockery? I just think you’re cute.”
As he spoke, he intended to walk toward the driver’s seat, but Zhu Zhixi grabbed him and dragged him by force, pushing him into the back seat. Zhu Zhixi squeezed in after him and shut the door with a bang, shifting his hips again and again. The back seat was clearly spacious, yet Fu Rangyi was crowded against the window by him.
“What are you trying to do?” Fu Rangyi looked at him, his expression half-smiling.
Still asking. Zhu Zhixi suspected that all of his composure was an act. He really wanted to smash this layer of ice around him completely, drag out the real Fu Rangyi hidden inside, knead him, pinch him, rub him until he sparked with static electricity and grew a bunch of little fuzzballs.
“Say something.” Fu Rangyi smiled, leaning his head against the glass window and tilting it slightly as he reached out to pinch his chin.
But Zhu Zhixi did not say a word. He directly removed Fu Rangyi’s bracelet, tossed it onto the passenger seat, and suddenly pressed a hand against his chest before kissing him. The kiss came without warning. Fu Rangyi frowned slightly and let out a muffled groan.
That seemed to excite a certain someone. Between broken breaths, Zhu Zhixi said, “I really like… hearing the sound of you panting…”
Zhu Zhixi was like the child in class who never listened properly but was so clever that he understood everything the moment he was taught. This kiss was the answer sheet he casually wrote.
His soft, wet tongue slipped in, stirring, tangling, even tentatively licking Fu Rangyi’s sharp teeth. His rounded teeth lightly nipped Fu Rangyi’s lower lip and the tip of his tongue.
His hand once again moved upward, rubbing past Fu Rangyi’s ear, the back of his neck, soothing and teasing every part of his gland. Pheromones rapidly spread through the air. The car was narrow and cramped, filled with urgent breathing. Mist fogged the lenses of Fu Rangyi’s glasses. A slanting beam of sunlight burned across the black leather seat.
The physiological desire that had not been thoroughly satisfied was easily stirred up. Instinctively, Fu Rangyi reached out, cupped the back of Zhu Zhixi’s head, and pressed him tightly into his arms, as though he wanted to devour his lips and tongue, his entire person.
This was inside a car, on a street where they had only stopped temporarily. Someone could come by at any moment. Reason returned slightly, and Fu Rangyi tried to loosen his grip and separate from him. But at that moment, Zhu Zhixi suddenly held his face, lifted his head, and nudged the bridge of his glasses upward with his nose before kissing the bridge of his nose.
In a breathy voice, he asked, “Do you want to mark me?”
“An Alpha can’t mark a Beta.”
But Zhu Zhixi acted as if he had not heard him. Stubbornly, he took off his coat, tugged at the loose purple turtleneck sweater on his body, and turned around with his back to Fu Rangyi.
He even pulled down his collar himself, completely exposing the back of his neck. With his other hand, he reached behind him and tugged Fu Rangyi’s hand.
Then he said, “But you can mark me.”
Fu Rangyi froze. His heart suddenly began to beat extremely fast, faster even than when they had just been kissing. All his disguises collapsed. As if possessed, he leaned closer, closed his eyes, and rubbed the tip of his nose little by little against the back of Zhu Zhixi’s neck.
There were still bite marks on it, and a little of his pheromones still lingered there.
His Adam’s apple moved up and down. He hugged Zhu Zhixi from behind, tilted his head, and bit down. His sharp canine teeth pierced skin and flesh. He felt the person in his arms tremble, groaning from the pain, then gritting his teeth and enduring it. The hand holding his squeezed very tightly.
Pheromones were continuously injected into flesh and blood, along with his unease, his fear, his twisted possessiveness, his burning worry… He knew perfectly well there was no gland to receive it. He knew perfectly well it would hurt, yet he still did it.
Zhu Zhixi shuddered in his arms, trembling in a way that made him think of last night. So Fu Rangyi changed from beast back into human, pulled away, rubbed against Zhu Zhixi’s neck, held him, and panted.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” he asked hoarsely.
Zhu Zhixi smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay.” He turned his face. His lips were a little pale, but his smile was still bright as sunlight. He tilted his head and looked at him, joking, “You could go act in a vampire movie. You’re pale and handsome, with sharp teeth.”
Fu Rangyi leaned against the car window and stared at him, saying flatly, “Forget it.”
Then I might be the pickiest vampire. I only want to drink one person’s blood. I’d want to throw up from smelling anyone else’s. If I lived, I’d suck this unlucky little thing dry. And he still wouldn’t die.
Zhu Zhixi leaned closer, kissed away the little bead of blood on his lips, and asked curiously, “Is my blood fragrant and sweet now? It has your pheromones inside.”
Fu Rangyi pinched his cheek. “You’re like that inside and out.”
Zhu Zhixi nodded, leaned to his ear, and whispered, “Fu Rangyi, if you want to mark me, then mark me. Zhu Zhixi is very generous.”
Author’s Note:
—Mini Theater: Mind Reading—
Disclaimer: This is only someone’s inner monologue during an anxious period.
Little Professor Fu in other people’s eyes: calm, quiet, clear-headed.
Fu Rangyi from Little Yu’s perspective:
[So happy to see Xiao’En Baby? Don’t you know there’s a difference between Alpha and Beta? So annoying. But what’s with Liang Yien’s neck? Was it gnawed by a fire hydrant?]
[Even an Alpha like him can get gnawed? Why can’t I mark Zhu Zhixi? I want to mark him. Bite his neck. So annoying.]
[His little rabbit teeth are so cute. I want to kiss him. Too many people here, can’t kiss him. Annoying.]
[Fire hydrant, try touching his palm? Are angels hard to kill? Could make a move when he turns into a mouse… Fine, that’s more like it. At least he knows some boundaries. Not killing him.]
[Death time? Can you speak properly and not scare the rabbit? Good thing I held him, or he would’ve fallen… This countdown is so damn annoying.]
[You can mix up a dog and a person? You can’t even do this little bit of work properly. Should your higher-ups consider reform too? Is heaven’s system even easier to coast through than a university?]
[Such a weak angel… You aren’t pretending to be delicate to trick Liang Yien, are you? Looks fake. Even more fake than my students asking for leave.]
[Find the dog. Find the dog. Find the dog. Hurry and find it. Zhu Zhixi cannot die. He has to live for a long, long time. Even if he isn’t with me, he has to live well.]
[The countdown can’t reach zero. Need to extend it. Thirty-three days is too little. If we do it every day, can it double? Sixty-six days. Excluding the time spent doing it, that should be enough to find the dog, right?]
[I want to do it. All the way in, leaving no room at all. Make Zhu Zhixi cry. He looks so beautiful when he cries.]
[Is my susceptible period coming again? This isn’t normal… The next susceptible period will definitely be terrifying.]
[Stop blow-drying the puppy. Come over and stay with me.]
[Why isn’t he coming to the yard? I want to hug him. Zhu Zhixi is soft and comfortable to hold, especially when he isn’t wearing clothes.]
[Don’t you two know he has a husband?]
[What are you chatting about so happily? He won’t come find me. I don’t want to play tug-of-war with this dog anymore. If he still doesn’t come, I’ll lock him in the car and strip off all his clothes… If you knew I was thinking these things, you’d definitely think I was a pervert, right? You called me a pervert last night…]
[What phone call? Annoying. Hm? Isn’t that the family-planning commissioner’s voice? I’ll listen a bit longer. I can tell Zhu Zhixi later and make him happy.]
[Finally willing to leave Xiao’En Baby and come find me?]
[My teeth ache. I want to bite. After biting, I’ll carry the rabbit home in my mouth and do it again. Twice. Forget it. He won’t be able to take it.]
