Extra – The Doubter (Part 3)
Generally speaking, a proposal is one of the most important moments in a person’s life. It usually happens between a man and a woman of marriageable age, accompanied by flowers, a diamond ring, heartfelt speeches, and tears of joy.
At least, that was how it had been when he proposed to Yang Miao years ago—except he couldn’t afford a diamond back then and had used a thin platinum ring instead.
Yet before he had even gotten out of bed to brush his teeth, with sleep still clinging to his eyes, Ren Ningyuan proposed to him in the same tone one might use to say, “Let’s buy groceries sometime.”
Qu Tongqiu instantly felt as though he must still be half-asleep or suffocating under the blanket from lack of oxygen. Otherwise, how could his mind be so unclear?
He and Ren Ningyuan—married?!
Married, he and Ren Ningyuan?!
The blanket was pulled off his head, revealing the man’s steady, unreadable face. They stared at each other for nearly a full minute. It was simply too shocking; he had never imagined such a thing could happen in his life.
He had once proposed to a woman. Now a man had proposed to him.
A minute was nowhere near enough time for his slow brain to process it.
After the awkward silence, Ren Ningyuan suddenly asked, “Do you want something to eat?”
“Ah…”
“Chinese or Western?”
“C-Chinese… I guess…”
“Alright.”
Ren Ningyuan took the cold soup and left the room. When he returned, he brought fish porridge and crystal dumplings. Qu Tongqiu ate the meal in bed; Ren Ningyuan tidied everything away afterward, tucked him in, and life continued as usual.
The entire day passed, and Ren Ningyuan never mentioned marriage again.
Life returned to its calm routine. They still shared a bed, ate at the same table, and called their daughter when she was three minutes late coming home from a school dance. Ren Ningyuan remained gentle and polite, as if that proposal had been no more significant than asking how many cabbages to buy.
Qu Tongqiu couldn’t read his emotions. Was it a joke? A casual remark? Surely it hadn’t been serious.
Since Ren Ningyuan never brought it up again, he felt too embarrassed to ask.
Still, like a pebble dropped into a pond, the ripples faded—but never fully disappeared.
He began secretly using the computer his daughter gave him to research same-sex marriage.
Years ago, Ye Xiutuo had once shown him a ring and said with a smile, “We’re married.” At the time, Qu Tongqiu’s life had been in chaos, and he hadn’t had the energy to process it.
Now, the idea of two men marrying felt like an entire subject he had to study from scratch.
If they married, what would Ren Ningyuan be to him? A wife? The father of his child?
Their daughter still called him Dad and called Ren Ningyuan Uncle. If they married, what would she call him—Mom?
Just imagining it made his ears burn like he was experiencing his first love again.
One day he passed a bridal shop and found himself staring at the display window filled with beautiful wedding dresses. Memories from his youth came flooding back, still vivid.
Inside, a clerk greeted him warmly and suggested he look at dresses for his girlfriend. He wandered through the shop, watching young couples laugh and tease each other, touching the fine fabrics and feeling a surge of happiness.
He even tried on a suit and studied himself in the mirror.
Perhaps Ren Ningyuan’s proposal had an expiration date. He hadn’t answered in time. Maybe it had already become invalid.
Each step in their relationship had taken years. Becoming partners had never been something he dared to imagine.
Even though Ren Ningyuan never mentioned it again, he couldn’t forget.
When he got home, Ren Ningyuan was reading in the living room. They exchanged a glance and then looked away awkwardly.
After all these years, Ren Ningyuan was still as handsome as ever. Qu Tongqiu suddenly felt how lucky he was just to sit beside him.
How had he begun to treat this happiness as ordinary?
“Ren Ningyuan.”
Ren Ningyuan put down his magazine. “Hmm?”
“That day… I’m sorry. I… I want—”
“I’m home~~~”
Their daughter burst into the room, interrupting him. Ren Ningyuan soon left, saying he had work at the club. He didn’t return that night—or the next.
Anxiety grew. Perhaps Ren Ningyuan had regretted the proposal.
At last, Qu Tongqiu decided he should take responsibility for the desire Ren Ningyuan had planted in his heart.
He took his credit card, went to a jewelry store, then a flower shop, and finally drove to Ren Ningyuan’s nightclub.
Dressed in a formal suit, clutching a velvet ring box, he walked through the crowd—only to realize he had forgotten the flowers in the car.
“Qu Tongqiu.”
He looked up. Ye Xiutuo stood on the stairs. After a brief exchange and some encouragement, Qu Tongqiu was allowed upstairs.
Inside the room, Ren Ningyuan sat quietly. Seeing him, he asked gently, “What’s wrong? Is something the matter?”
Qu Tongqiu straightened nervously. “I wanted to talk about… what happened that day…”
