Extra – The Doubter (Part 2)
After a while, he finally managed to say, “I… I’ll think about it.”
Ren Ningyuan looked at him and simply nodded.
Qu Tongqiu turned onto his side, wrapping himself tightly in the blanket, too miserable to sleep. Ren Ningyuan lay beside him; he could feel that warm presence—irresistible, yet distant at the same time.
He had always been too embarrassed to ask Ren Ningyuan for anything. Now that he was older and had gone through so much, it was even harder to be as fearless as he had been when young, back when he wasn’t afraid of rejection or ridicule.
In the middle of the night, he felt Ren Ningyuan quietly get up, probably to get some water. Qu Tongqiu turned over in bed and watched the tall figure in the dim lamplight. After all these years, just looking at him still made his heart race like it had in their school days, a love stronger than anything else.
He had his pride, and he feared rejection, but giving up this man—and Qu Ke—would hurt far more than losing his dignity.
When Ren Ningyuan came back with the water, Qu Tongqiu finally called out, “Ren Ningyuan.”
The light came on. Ren Ningyuan saw him clearly and frowned as he sat down by the bed. “What’s wrong?”
“Isn’t things the way they are now… okay?”
His voice trembled, his eyes red and swollen. Ren Ningyuan only looked at him quietly.
“I… I won’t marry a woman.”
“… ”
“I don’t want to have children anymore.”
“… ”
“You and Little Ke… I…”
Sweat slid down his forehead. He knew his face was burning. He was summoning every ounce of courage to ask for something that felt impossibly out of reach.
“I want… to stay with you…”
He wanted to remain by their side. His best years, all his feelings, had been given to these two people. Leaving them would feel like being cut in half.
Ren Ningyuan watched him silently before asking, “You really have no such plans at all?”
Qu Tongqiu couldn’t speak. That indifferent response blurred his vision instantly.
“I… I only want…”
Before he could finish, Ren Ningyuan kissed him.
The kiss came without warning, fierce and overwhelming. Before he could understand its meaning, his clothes had already been undone. He never expected what followed—especially since it wasn’t even Friday.
Ren Ningyuan undressed as well. The sight of his bare torso made Qu Tongqiu lose himself completely, lying still and letting him do as he wished.
It was intense, urgent, almost impatient, yet not unpleasant. For Qu Tongqiu, it was more than enough to send him trembling, mind in chaos. The night passed in a blur of overwhelming closeness and rare passion.
When he opened his eyes again, he couldn’t tell whether it was afternoon or evening. His body still felt dazed, as if his soul might drift away.
He saw Ren Ningyuan sitting by the bed with a bowl of soup. After resting a moment, he parted his lips.
“Do you want some?”
Qu Tongqiu shook his head. Though thirsty, what he wanted more was answers. His question from last night still hadn’t been answered.
Ren Ningyuan gently brushed his damp forehead. “I’m sorry. I went too far.”
Intimacy had happened. Perhaps it meant something—but perhaps it meant nothing.
“Qu Tongqiu.”
His tone sounded like he was about to discuss something important.
Looking down at him, Ren Ningyuan said, “We can’t go on like this. It won’t work.”
“… ”
“I think we should…”
Qu Tongqiu suddenly couldn’t bear it. Exhausted, he pulled the blanket over his head.
From outside the blanket, he heard Ren Ningyuan say, “If you don’t mind, let’s find a time to get married.”
