Extra: The Right to Choose (Part 5)
The door opened right after the first knock. The man standing inside had a tall, slender figure and a pale, strikingly handsome face. A simple white shirt and black suit jacket were sharply defined under the light.
When Qu Tongqiu met his eyes, his vision swam for a moment. All the greetings he had prepared vanished, and he could only say, “Zhuang Wei…”
Zhuang Wei grabbed his hand firmly and pulled him into the room. The door shut behind them.
Zhuang Wei’s appearance and scent were once extremely familiar to him, yet after two years and so much in between, it all felt strangely distant. Amid that mix of familiarity and unfamiliarity, his emotions became complicated as he was led to the sofa, facing the man sitting close by, his palms damp with sweat.
Zhuang Wei was still the same Zhuang Wei, only with the natural changes of two years—slimmer, even better looking, and more aloof. There were faint dark circles under his eyes from the long flight and jet lag.
“You’ve lost weight.” After gazing at each other in intimate proximity for a while, Zhuang Wei finally spoke. Qu Tongqiu scratched his head, and the man placed a hand on top of it, roughly ruffling his hair with gritted teeth. “You’re really alive.”
Qu Tongqiu was moved by the emotion in that gesture. Zhuang Wei truly cared about him and had grieved his “death” for so long, which made him feel a little sad as well.
Even without mentioning old feelings, they were at least old friends reunited. Their heated emotions and warm palms felt only natural.
Zhuang Wei had originally planned to take him out to dinner, but after seeing him, he decided not to leave and ordered room service instead. Qu Tongqiu thought it was good—simple and comfortable compared to eating out.
They dined together in the room, relaxed and natural, chatting like good friends about what had happened in their lives since they parted.
Compared with Zhuang Wei’s awards and the new magazine brand he had launched, Qu Tongqiu’s experiences scavenging and running street stalls felt insignificant. Yet Zhuang Wei listened with great interest.
There was no envy, but there was at least a sense of living vicariously.
After Qu Tongqiu explained in detail how to stretch twenty yuan for half a month of meals, Zhuang Wei smiled and frowned at the same time. “You won’t have to suffer like that anymore.”
“Mm.” His takeout shop was doing fairly well now.
“I’ll take care of you.”
“Huh… what?!”
Zhuang Wei gritted his teeth. “What do you mean ‘what’? Idiot, I’ve stayed single all this time for you!”
“You… you didn’t get together with Chu Mo?”
Zhuang Wei glared at him. “You ‘died.’ How could I be with him?”
“I… I thought when I was gone, you two would…”
Zhuang Wei snapped, embarrassed and angry. “Do you think everything between us was just fooling around?”
“But…”
“If Chu Mo hadn’t been in that car accident and I hadn’t felt sorry for him, I would have taken you to America long ago. After you ‘died,’ how could he compete with a dead man?”
Qu Tongqiu murmured, “But feelings can’t be measured by who suffers more…”
Zhuang Wei frowned. “Talking sense to you is useless.”
Qu Tongqiu watched him stand and walk around the table. Before he could react, Zhuang Wei grabbed his shoulders and leaned down. He was pushed onto the sofa, and when he opened his mouth to speak, he was met with a direct kiss.
The long-familiar lips made him jump in shock. The moment their tongues touched, his whole body tensed. Even as he struggled, Zhuang Wei held the back of his head and deepened the kiss.
Breathless and dizzy, he felt a hand slip into his clothes while another began undoing his pants. Terrified, he found strength from nowhere, flipped over, and pushed the man off.
“No… we can’t…”
Zhuang Wei, used to their old pattern, pinned him from behind again. “Idiot, why not?”
“We can’t do this…”
“Do you hate me?”
“N-no…”
“Ren Ningyuan let you come. That means there’s nothing between you now. Wouldn’t being with me be better?”
Unable to argue, Qu Tongqiu guarded himself stubbornly, refusing to yield despite the awkward posture. Zhuang Wei could only laugh helplessly.
“If you keep this up, I’ll tie you up and do it.”
Frightened he might really do it, Qu Tongqiu blurted, “Zhuang Wei, you don’t actually want me.”
“What?”
“The one you like isn’t me. You just wanted to sleep with me, and after I died you felt guilty. That’s not love. That’s why you didn’t choose me back then.”
Zhuang Wei fell silent. “Back then, I chose wrong.”
“No. You liked Chu Mo.”
His face darkened instantly. “What nonsense.”
Qu Tongqiu retreated a few steps, clutching his pants. “If you didn’t like Chu Mo, you wouldn’t have let him chase you for years. And when I ‘died,’ you were sad, but you still lived on. If Chu Mo had died, could you have lived like this?”
Zhuang Wei didn’t refute him immediately.
Seizing the moment, Qu Tongqiu continued, “You want to take care of me sincerely. But it’s not because you love me. You feel responsible because you abandoned me and then I died.”
Zhuang Wei clicked his tongue. “It has nothing to do with responsibility. I’m not that responsible. Don’t make me sound so sentimental.”
“You are.”
“Who told you that nonsense?”
“I just feel it…”
“You and Chu Mo are different in your heart. You care about me, but he’s the most special to you. You know it yourself. Treasure him while he’s still by your side.”
After a long silence, Zhuang Wei sneered. “Chu Mo didn’t treat you well. You dislike him. Why defend him?”
“I’m just telling the truth. I don’t want anyone to suffer for no reason. Their pain doesn’t make me happy.”
“I think we should find the right person. I’m not the right one for you. You know that, right?”
Zhuang Wei didn’t answer. “Is Ren Ningyuan the right one?”
Qu Tongqiu thought for a moment. “I’m very happy with him.”
He couldn’t make a perfectly rational judgment anymore. His life had overturned too many times, and he could only follow his instincts.
Living with Ren Ningyuan and their daughter made him feel complete. He felt he already had everything he wanted.
Zhuang Wei smiled faintly. “Are you sure? Would the ‘right person’ knowingly let you come see me?”
“… ”
“Even if he’s right for you, you might not be right for him.”
Qu Tongqiu lowered his head. “I know…”
“What if one day he can’t give you happiness anymore?”
“I’ll fight for it.”
He had chased after Ren Ningyuan before—back when Ren Ningyuan barely acknowledged him, when he was just a tag-along. Now he was older, more cautious, but he knew he had to fight for what he wanted. Life was too short to keep waiting.
Zhuang Wei said nothing more, only watched him with reddened eyes.
“I’m sorry for saying that.”
“No, it’s okay.” Qu Tongqiu buttoned his clothes. “I should go.”
“I’ll take you.”
“No need…”
Zhuang Wei didn’t insist. Perhaps he would call Chu Mo later.
Seeing one’s own heart clearly was not easy.
When Qu Tongqiu stepped out of the hotel, night had fallen deeply. Snow fell as the wind howled, bitterly cold.
The bright snow reflected the light, and he could clearly see a car and a person waiting in the freezing wind.
Pulling his collar tight, he trudged through the snow and ran toward that man.
