Chapter 24
Soon came the large book fair after the holidays. The venue was bustling with excitement. Since the magazine company had just acquired a toy magazine, there was a fluffy mascot at their booth. No one could quite tell what animal it was, but it was very popular with women and children. Passersby couldn’t resist touching it, holding its hand, or taking photos.
In a place packed with people and warm air, being stuffed inside such a thick costume and headpiece was hardly comfortable, yet it was clearly very professional. It patiently cooperated with the children, letting them tug at its paws or pull its tail. Though a bit clumsy, its wobbling slowness only made it more adorable.
A tall man carrying several bags of books in one hand and holding the hand of a little girl with beautiful long hair in the other passed by the booth and couldn’t help but take notice. The popular mascot had just finished taking photos with a group of kids and had had its tail pulled for quite a while. It now stood there in a daze, as if thoroughly disoriented.
“So cute,” Ren Ningyuan said, lowering his head to look at her with a smile. “Do you want to take a photo with it?”
The little girl hesitated, then slowly walked over and touched the fur on its costume. The mascot just stood there blankly, looking even more foolish.
“It’s really cute,” Qu Ke said. She held its paw, touched its fluffy big tail, and even hugged its round waist. Ren Ningyuan took several photos for them, yet she still seemed reluctant to leave, lingering there.
“What’s your name?”
The mascot froze for a moment, then only waved its thick paw, indicating it couldn’t speak.
“It’s okay. I’m not a little kid. I know there’s a person inside you.”
“Little Ke, don’t bother it,” Ren Ningyuan said.
“I just want to know what this is called,” Qu Ke said, stroking its fur. “It feels so nice, like…” The little girl drooped again. After touching it for a long time, she finally asked, “If there’s a doll like this, can I buy one?”
“I’ll go ask,” Ren Ningyuan said, stepping closer. The mascot turned around and pointed inside the booth with one paw.
“Thank you.”
As Ren Ningyuan went to ask the staff, the mascot stood quietly, still holding Qu Ke’s paw. Suddenly, it placed a paw on top of the little girl’s worried head.
Qu Ke looked up at it and broke into a smile. “You’re so gentle.”
Ren Ningyuan soon returned and said warmly, “They’re not on sale yet. If you really like it, I’ll help you order one this big later.”
Only then did Qu Ke cheer up and nod. There was a burst of noise from a booth in the distance, probably handing out merchandise. Ren Ningyuan smiled. “It’s about time. If you don’t go line up now, you won’t get the signed poster later.”
“Ah!” Qu Ke hurriedly let go of the mascot and ran off.
The mascot stood there, watching her run away. Ren Ningyuan looked at it too. After a moment, it turned around, silently dragging its tail, facing away from him. Ren Ningyuan watched it take photos with a newly arrived mother and son. After they left, he walked up to it. The mascot paused quietly, then clumsily posed for a photo.
“Is it you?”
The mascot didn’t move, just stood there blankly.
“Qu Tongqiu, is it you?”
Still no movement, no sound, as if it couldn’t understand. Ren Ningyuan reached out to touch its headpiece, but it suddenly pressed it down with a paw and took a big step back. Ren Ningyuan withdrew his hand, softened his voice, and said, “Alright, I won’t force you. If you’re willing to talk to me like this, that’s fine too.”
“…”
“Are you doing okay now?”
“…”
“You’re already able to come out and work. I’m really glad.”
“…”
“You’re with Zhuang Wei—does he treat you well?”
“…”
“Of course he does.”
Ren Ningyuan turned his head toward the person answering him. “Zhuang Wei.”
“It’s not easy for him to be like this now. Even with a job, he can’t earn much in just one hour. Let him go.”
The mascot still held its headpiece tightly, standing at a distance. Ren Ningyuan looked at it for a while, nodded to Zhuang Wei, and turned to leave. Zhuang Wei called after him, “Ningyuan, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Ren Ningyuan turned back.
“After some time, once the paperwork is done, I’ll take him to America. He’s willing to be with me.”
Ren Ningyuan looked at him.
“I don’t want any more trouble. He can’t handle it. If you want to make it up to him, let this go smoothly for once.”
Ren Ningyuan was silent for a moment. “Why say that?”
“I know you were the one who called Chu Mo back. Maybe you meant well for Chu Mo, but he and I have been impossible for a long time.”
“Zhuang Wei.”
“I’m not done. Chu Mo is stubborn and reckless. Don’t egg him on, or once it starts, it won’t stop. When he takes out his anger, he can destroy Qu Tongqiu. That’s not the outcome you want, is it?”
Ren Ningyuan looked at the mascot pressing down its headpiece, standing far away. Quietly, he said nothing more.
It was nearly closing time, and the crowd was thinning. Zhuang Wei patted the mascot’s back lightly. “Time to clock out. Go change your clothes.”
The mascot went into the back changing area but didn’t come out for a long time. Zhuang Wei went in and saw it still standing there in the costume.
“Silly. No matter what, you should take this stuff off first. Aren’t you uncomfortable being stuck in there?”
Zhuang Wei helped remove the costume, but the man still held onto the headpiece.
“It’s okay. I won’t laugh at you.”
The headpiece finally came off. Zhuang Wei looked at him, took a handkerchief from his pocket, and handed it over. “Wipe your face.”
“…”
“You saw Qu Ke, didn’t you?”
Qu Tongqiu nodded, still awkwardly clutching the handkerchief. Zhuang Wei heard him blowing his nose and wrapped an arm around his trembling shoulders. “Don’t be sad. She’ll live well with Ren Ningyuan. She’ll definitely do great things in the future, and you’ll be happy for her.”
“…”
“You still have me.”
Zhuang Wei kissed his forehead and pulled him into his arms, letting that father who no longer had a daughter hear his heartbeat.
After the busy book fair, they finally got a day off. Zhuang Wei didn’t want to go out anymore and planned to laze around at home. Qu Tongqiu went out to buy groceries, came back to clean and wipe things down, then washed the vegetables and cooked.
Qu Tongqiu worked dutifully in the kitchen. Zhuang Wei, with nothing better to do, hugged him from behind, watching him stir-fry cumin lamb and then plate it.
“Looks pretty good, at least. Just don’t know how it tastes,” Zhuang Wei said, opening his mouth and waiting for Qu Tongqiu to feed him a bite. “Mm… you try it yourself too.” Then he kissed those slightly parted lips, slipping his tongue in to taste. “What do you think?”
The kissed man flushed red and even started sweating. He hurriedly lowered his head to rinse the pan, preparing the next dish.
Zhuang Wei rested his chin on his shoulder, watching him bustle about, when the phone in his pocket suddenly rang loudly. Holding the man’s waist with one hand, Zhuang Wei took out the phone with the other. Seeing the number, he frowned and answered impatiently. “What is it?”
On the other end was an unfamiliar young male voice. “May I ask if this is Zhuang Wei?”
His frown deepened. “Yes. And who are you?”
“Hello. I’m not sure what your relationship is with the patient, but your number is listed as the primary emergency contact. I’d like to inform you that you need to come to the hospital.”
Zhuang Wei lowered the phone from his ear. His face had already turned pale. Qu Tongqiu sensed his stiffness and quickly turned to look at him. “What’s wrong?”
“Chu Mo was in a car accident.”
When Ren Ningyuan received Zhuang Wei’s call, he was out of town. He immediately booked a flight back. By the time he reached the hospital, it was already the next day.
Zhuang Wei sat in the hospital room, expressionless, lips pressed together. Hearing the faint sound of the door opening, he turned his head and looked over with bloodshot, slightly weary eyes.
“You’re back?”
The man on the bed lay with his eyes closed, breathing through the oxygen mask amid the machines. Ren Ningyuan watched for a moment, then asked in a low voice, “How is he?”
“We’ll have to see if he can wake up in the next couple of days.”
Silence fell under the oppressive air. Ren Ningyuan’s voice sank even lower. “What happened?”
“Nothing much. He bid on a photography piece at an auction and wanted to bring it to me, trying to please me. He got hit at an intersection by a car that ran a red light. The driver fled.”
Zhuang Wei didn’t look sad at all; his tone was cold, carrying his usual sharpness. “His luck was just too bad. He should’ve given up on me earlier. If he hadn’t come back this time, none of this would’ve happened.”
Ren Ningyuan sat down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Even though they often rubbed each other the wrong way, when something really happened, the long-standing bond between them rose clearly above all the noise.
“You should go rest a bit.”
“Me? I’m perfectly fine. Nothing’s wrong with me.”
“From yesterday until now, have you slept or eaten?”
Zhuang Wei turned his head away. “I’m fine.”
“I’m here to look after Chu Mo. I’ll have people check into the matter. You don’t need to worry.”
“I’m not worried,” Zhuang Wei said, rubbing his temples a little roughly. “I’m just thinking—what if he really dies like this?”
Ren Ningyuan looked at him. The way Zhuang Wei clenched his teeth became more obvious, his face slightly twisted. “Damn it.”
“Zhuang Wei.”
“He still hasn’t settled what he owes, hasn’t explained anything, and he dares to die like this?! He did a pile of shitty things, left behind a mess,???????—how can there be such an easy deal?! He’s a complete bastard.
“Wasn’t this bastard always acting like he was invincible, bragging that no matter how fierce things got he wouldn’t die? If he dares to die like this, it’s fucking cheap. I despise him!”
“Zhuang Wei,” Ren Ningyuan pressed both hands firmly on his shoulders. “Calm down.”
Zhuang Wei shook him off. “I am calm! I’m just taking advantage of the fact that he’s not dead yet to curse him a few more times. Otherwise later, no matter how much I curse him, he won’t hear it!”
“I know what you’re thinking.”
Zhuang Wei glared at him with reddened eyes.
“But this isn’t your fault. You didn’t wrong him. He’s the one who missed his chance. He knows that very well. Even if there’s anything to blame, he wouldn’t really blame you.”
“……”
“So don’t torture yourself, and don’t overthink it. Whatever you want to say, wait until he wakes up and tell him then,” Ren Ningyuan said, looking at him. “He’ll definitely wake up. You have to believe that.”
Zhuang Wei’s eyes were full of bloodshot lines from lack of sleep. He didn’t say anything more.
“You should go eat something and get some sleep now. When your head is clear, think about what you really want to say to Chu Mo if he wakes up.”
“……”
“This is very important to him. You need to think it through. That’s why I’m asking you to make sure you stay clear-headed. That’s far more useful than sitting here tormenting yourself. Do you understand?”
In the long silence, Zhuang Wei stared fixedly at the floor. After a long while, he finally spoke hoarsely, “Don’t you need to adjust for jet lag?”
“I slept on the way. It’s fine,” Ren Ningyuan said, giving his shoulder a light squeeze. “Go.”
No matter how chaotic things became, even when everyone else panicked, Ren Ningyuan was always the last one to stay calm and rational—the one people relied on. He was used to carrying that responsibility, and everyone else was used to it too.
Not long after Zhuang Wei left, the door was carefully opened again. Ren Ningyuan looked up and saw the man trying his best to move quietly so as not to disturb the ward. The man had just stepped one foot inside when he looked up and saw Ren Ningyuan. He froze instantly, one foot still in the air, as if nailed to the floor.
Ren Ningyuan paused slightly, then spoke gently first. “Zhuang Wei is at the restaurant next door.”
“……”
“I sent him there. He’s not in good shape and needs some rest.”
The man didn’t speak, still tense all over, standing stiffly there, his face drawn tight as if he couldn’t breathe.
Ren Ningyuan glanced at what he was holding. “You brought food for Zhuang Wei?”
Qu Tongqiu stood rigidly, his throat moving up and down for a moment before he nodded with difficulty.
With Chu Mo in an accident, a human life mattered far more than any personal grudges. This wasn’t the time to vent emotions. Qu Tongqiu tried hard to suppress himself, avoiding looking at the tall man sitting there, lowering his head and turning as if to leave.
Ren Ningyuan called out to him. “But I already ordered room service for him.”
“Ah.” Qu Tongqiu stopped, holding the lunch box, hesitating.
“If it won’t go to waste, could you give it to me? I just got off the plane.”
Ren Ningyuan actually asked someone for food. Qu Tongqiu was extremely surprised, at a loss for a moment. After hesitating, keeping some distance and looking elsewhere, he still handed the lunch box over.
“Thank you.” Ren Ningyuan took the chopsticks and opened the home-style container, looking at the food inside. “Zhuang Wei also likes your stir-fried bitter melon with salted egg yolk?”
Qu Tongqiu’s gaze stayed on an unrelated door handle. He answered reluctantly, “He doesn’t like it… but this… right now… it cools the heat.”
Ren Ningyuan picked up a piece. “Mm, it’s good stuff.”
In the silence, Ren Ningyuan ate slowly, every movement natural. Qu Tongqiu stood to the side, half-turned away, uneasy, waiting until he finished everything cleanly without leaving a bite, then took the empty container back.
Qu Tongqiu didn’t leave. Staring at the floor, he said with difficulty, “I… I’m not working this afternoon.”
Ren Ningyuan looked at him. “Oh?”
“This afternoon it’s… my turn to take care…”
Looking at his troubled profile, Ren Ningyuan said gently, “I know. You don’t want to see me.”
Qu Tongqiu kept his head lowered.
“But Chu Mo is my good friend. I’ll be here these few days, looking after him together with you. Please bear with it for now.”
“……”
“Just pretend I’m not here.”
In the end, Qu Tongqiu dragged over a chair and sat far away on the other side of the bed, quietly staying there, trying to focus only on the patient and the machines. But with that tall man sitting there, his whole body reacted as if to some powerful aura—goosebumps rose layer by layer, and he began to tremble slightly. He thought that must be hatred he couldn’t put into words and couldn’t wear down.
Qu Tongqiu stayed tense, trembling faintly, avoiding eye contact. Ren Ningyuan could still sense the alertness in his hunched back, like a skinny, wary cat.
“Qu Tongqiu.”
“……”
“Are you going to the US with Zhuang Wei?”
He stayed silent, then nodded once.
“Have you thought about it—maybe you won’t get used to life there?”
“……”
“If you don’t want to stay in T City, there are many other places you could go. You don’t have to go there, and you don’t have to go with him,” Ren Ningyuan paused, choosing his words carefully. “Zhuang Wei… won’t only treat you as a friend.”
Qu Tongqiu didn’t speak. He hunched his shoulders, but there wasn’t the slightest wavering on his thin face.
Ren Ningyuan looked at him. “You actually understand all this, don’t you?”
Qu Tongqiu only tensed up more, stubbornly sitting there.
After a moment of silence, Ren Ningyuan said, “Living together with a man—have you already accepted that?”
“……”
“Or is it that you’ve fallen for him?”
“……”
“About Zhuang Wei—are you serious?”
There was no answer, yet it felt as if everything had already been answered in the silence. Ren Ningyuan didn’t speak again, only looked at him. Qu Tongqiu was still trembling slightly, his posture humble, but his resolve firm.
The stillness grew a little strange, as if something were flowing underneath it. Without warning, Ren Ningyuan suddenly stood up.
Qu Tongqiu immediately looked up, staring at him like a startled animal, eyes wide open.
“No, no—look,” Ren Ningyuan said, calming him with a small gesture, pointing at the man on the bed. “Do you see?”
Qu Tongqiu was still confused and tense. “See what?”
“His hand.”
Qu Tongqiu looked at Chu Mo’s hand lying flat—nothing seemed different. After a few seconds of focused watching, the barely perceptible twitch of a finger made him cry out, “Ah!” He jumped to his feet, forgetting to avoid Ren Ningyuan. “Th-this is—”
The two of them held their breath, looking at each other, confirming it in each other’s eyes. Qu Tongqiu flushed red with joy and hurried toward the door. “Doctor—doc, doctor…”
The doctor came to examine Chu Mo and spoke with Ren Ningyuan for a while. Zhuang Wei returned quickly as well. Facing the man on the bed who looked as if he were sleeping, he was expressionless, lips pressed tight. Qu Tongqiu sat beside him, as if wanting to comfort him.
“The doctor said that at this rate, he should wake up tonight.”
Zhuang Wei gave a low “Mm,” his face still tense.
“Are you worried about what it’ll be like after he wakes up?”
Zhuang Wei responded softly, still frowning.
Qu Tongqiu hurried to reassure him. “It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.”
“Mm.”
His words and feelings were both simple and real. “Chu Mo is someone meant for big things. He’s stronger than ordinary people, and he has a strong life. He’ll definitely get better.”
Zhuang Wei looked at him, interlaced their fingers, and held his hand.
That night, Chu Mo really did wake up. After the joy passed, Qu Tongqiu didn’t get any rest. Instead, he became even busier. A patient like Chu Mo was actually more troublesome when awake than when unconscious.
Even with Ren Ningyuan there, he still argued with Zhuang Wei, and they parted on bad terms.
Qu Tongqiu didn’t hear the argument and didn’t know what kind of past grudge could still not be resolved at a time like this. He could only take turns with Ren Ningyuan caring for Chu Mo. During his off hours, he went back to the company to work, also bringing home the backlog of work Zhuang Wei owed, so Zhuang Wei wouldn’t have to work overtime and could have some time to visit the patient.
Days passed in the hospital. Chu Mo’s recovery went smoothly. As for whether the strained relationship with Zhuang Wei eased, Qu Tongqiu couldn’t really tell.
He found it hard to understand. When he felt things between the two of them were relatively calm, Ren Ningyuan would hint that they were arguing. When he thought they were arguing, Ren Ningyuan would tell him not to worry.
It was as if they had a code belonging to a small circle of their own, and he was clearly not part of it. Still, Chu Mo’s discharge day was drawing near. Things were ultimately moving in a good direction, getting back on track amid the bumps, which made Qu Tongqiu feel relieved and at peace.
Ren Ningyuan and the others handled coordination with the ward and medical staff—things he couldn’t help with. With some free time, he made a pot of chicken soup at home for the patient. Having long played both father and mother, taking care of such unmanly domestic matters had long been part of his life. There was no question of status—doing what he could was enough.
After packing the soup and bringing it to the hospital, Chu Mo wasn’t in the room. Only Ren Ningyuan sat there alone, reading a magazine. Qu Tongqiu hesitated slightly, but Ren Ningyuan had already looked up, put the magazine down, and said gently, “Zhuang Wei took him for an exam. They’ll be back soon.”
Qu Tongqiu gave an “Mm,” walked over somewhat mechanically, and placed the thermos on the table.
“Sit for a bit too. You can’t just leave without seeing anyone.”
Tense, Qu Tongqiu found a place to sit. Ren Ningyuan looked at him. “Do you remember? The car that caused the accident was stolen. The owner already reported it missing.”
“Mm…”
“The night before the accident, a death-row inmate escaped. The one who stole the car and hit Chu Mo is very likely the same person. The police have issued a wanted notice. They say he’s still around this area. Be careful when you go out at night.”
Qu Tongqiu gave another “Mm.” Even though it was kind advice, he couldn’t really talk with Ren Ningyuan, only nod stiffly. Being alone with this man was unbearable for him.
Fortunately, Zhuang Wei and Chu Mo returned soon, breaking the suffocating awkwardness. Chu Mo indeed looked much better, back to his usual self. His attitude toward Qu Tongqiu had improved as well, which made Qu Tongqiu very happy.
Everyone sat and talked for a while. Zhuang Wei looked unhappy as he peeled an apple for Chu Mo, but overall the atmosphere was still fine. When it was time to leave, Qu Tongqiu remembered a piece of good news he had actually wanted to tell Zhuang Wei as soon as he arrived.
“Zhuang Wei.”
“What?” Zhuang Wei had just told Chu Mo, who had finished his soup and wanted to go to the bathroom, to “get out,” then closed the door behind him. He turned back to look at Qu Tongqiu.
“I went to get my visa today. It was approved.”
Both men looked at him. Zhuang Wei was the first to react, letting out an “Ah,” and said, “That’s good. At least all the effort I put in wasn’t wasted.”
“Yeah…”
“I have to go back to the US next week anyway. The timing’s just right.”
“Mm…”
He was about to say something more when Chu Mo shouted from the corridor outside, “Zhuang Wei!”
Zhuang Wei cursed, “Why are you yelling in a hospital,” then slung an arm around Qu Tongqiu’s shoulder, gave his head a pat, and said, “We still have some things to deal with. You go back first.” With that, he opened the door and went out.
Left facing Ren Ningyuan alone, Qu Tongqiu suddenly felt a bit scared for no clear reason. He hurriedly picked up the thermos and, before that man could say anything, turned and fled.
That night, Zhuang Wei came back very late. Qu Tongqiu was almost asleep when he saw the man, habitually frowning slightly, push the door open and impatiently undo the buttons at his collar.
“You’re back?”
“Mm.” Zhuang Wei walked to the bed, leaned down, and kissed him. “Why aren’t you asleep yet?”
“Almost,” Qu Tongqiu said, a little drowsy. “You must’ve had a hard day.”
Zhuang Wei frowned even more and snorted. “Luckily he’s being discharged tomorrow. Otherwise, who knows how much more trouble he’d cause. He’s completely dragging people down. A barbarian—his brain never fully evolved, totally impossible to communicate with.”
He was clearly scolding Chu Mo. Qu Tongqiu listened, feeling a bit at a loss. “Actually… he treats his friends pretty well…”
Zhuang Wei looked at him. “You don’t need to speak up for him, do you?”
“His temper is bad, but he’s always been like that. It’s not really—”
Before he could finish, Zhuang Wei sealed his lips. After a deep kiss that left him no time to react, Zhuang Wei kissed his nose, patted his head, and said, “You.”
After turning off the light and lying down, Zhuang Wei pulled him close, let him rest on his arm, and stroked his hair from time to time.
Qu Tongqiu drifted into a hazy sleep. Somewhere between dreaming and waking, he kept sensing the faint but alert movements of the person beside him.
“Mm… you’re not sleeping?”
“Mm. I just remembered there’s still some work I haven’t finished.” Zhuang Wei kissed his forehead and simply sat up. “I’ll go do it. You sleep.”
Qu Tongqiu didn’t know how long the study light stayed on. All night long, he was only in his own dreams.
