Chapter 20
“Uncle Ren, when is my dad coming back?”
“Mm, soon, I think,” the tall man said as he steadied the little girl, helping her down from the horse. “In a few more days, once his mood improves.”
“Why did he go so far away without even telling me…”
“At least he remembered to ask me to look after you,” the man comforted her. “Don’t worry.”
“Mm…”
“Why do you look so listless again? Don’t like riding horses anymore?” He smiled as he took the reins. “What else do you want to play? Tell Uncle.”
Qu Ke lowered her head, nudging the grass bit by bit with her shoe. “I miss Daddy…”
Ren Ningyuan looked at her.
“Uncle Ren, do you think… maybe I made Daddy angry, and he doesn’t want me anymore…?”
“Of course not,” Ren Ningyuan said, patting her head. “He loves you the most. He’s just been under too much pressure lately and wanted to go out and clear his head. Adults’ matters are complicated. It has nothing to do with you.”
“Daddy’s all alone outside—will he be okay?”
“Don’t worry. He’s an adult. If he can take such good care of you, he can certainly take care of himself.”
The little girl rubbed her eyes. “Then… will he remember to come back for me?”
Ren Ningyuan rested his hand on her head. “He will.”
When they returned from the riding grounds to the villa, most of the New Year supplies had already arrived. In previous years, Ren Ningyuan had always sent some to Qu Tongqiu as well. Each time, the man would thank him repeatedly, tirelessly describing how much his daughter liked them, how much she cherished them.
Now, the piles of food and toys finally lifted the little girl’s spirits. Ren Ningyuan opened a box of Godiva truffles for her. Qu Ke ate one, the rich flavor finally making her smile, but she didn’t eat another. She closed the box and put it away.
“Hm? Don’t like them anymore?”
“They’re very good. I want to save them for Daddy.”
Ren Ningyuan sat beside her. “It’s fine. There’s plenty more. Your dad isn’t someone who’s never tasted these.”
“No. My dad hasn’t tasted them at all. Every year when you send us things, I eat everything myself.”
Qu Ke sat there with tears in her eyes. “I was too greedy, that’s why Daddy doesn’t want me anymore. Otherwise, why didn’t he take me with him?”
Ren Ningyuan used a handkerchief to wipe her face. “Your dad won’t abandon you. Don’t think nonsense.”
“Then…” the little girl sobbed, “when will he come back to get me?”
“He should… soon.”
After dinner, Rong Liu came as promised to take Qu Ke to the Xiao family to play. The Xiao household had four young masters and young ladies around Qu Ke’s age, all bright and good-looking. Rong Liu himself was a lively big boy, good at playing and joking, very skilled at pleasing children.
Ren Ningyuan saw them off to the car, smiled, and waved goodbye. Letting them be lively and have fun—perhaps then Qu Ke wouldn’t keep asking when her father would return.
He truly had no way to answer her.
Children were the most sensitive and fragile beings in the world. He had only taken care of her for a few days and was already struggling to cope, yet he couldn’t imagine how that man had endured over more than ten years.
Ren Ningyuan was just about to go back inside to have the driver prepare the car and head out when someone called him from behind. “Ren Ningyuan.”
He turned around to see Zhuang Wei standing there, though he didn’t know how long he’d been there. His face looked pale against the deep black of his coat, while his boots were splattered with mud.
Ren Ningyuan looked at him. “What is it?”
A couple of days after Qu Tongqiu’s incident, Zhuang Wei had returned to the country. Because of that man, Zhuang Wei had nearly fallen out with Ren Ningyuan during this time; even Chu Mo couldn’t mediate between them.
“What else could it be?” Zhuang Wei snorted. “Of course it’s about Qu Tongqiu.”
“Zhuang Wei, there’s nothing for us to talk about regarding this matter,” Ren Ningyuan said with a slight frown. “I’ll give him an explanation, but I don’t need to give one to you. You’re nothing to him. We won’t come to any result. Besides, arguments never end well. I don’t want to argue with you anymore. If you want to talk, wait until you’ve cooled down. It’s better if we don’t contact each other for a while, so we don’t really damage our relationship.”
Zhuang Wei laughed instead. “Since when did you become so talkative?”
Ren Ningyuan looked at him.
“You’re in such a hurry to send me away—what are you afraid of? Afraid I’ll get in your way, or afraid I’ll expose you?”
Ren Ningyuan replied calmly, “What are you trying to say?”
“I’ve been looking for him everywhere these past few days, but I can’t find him. I can’t figure out where he went, what ability he has to disappear so quickly and so far.”
“That’s your business.”
“But you never looked for him at all. How can you be so calm?”
“Zhuang Wei, he’s an adult.”
“Stop pretending,” Zhuang Wei snapped. “He didn’t leave at all. Don’t even talk about leaving T City—he hasn’t even left the urban area! You know better than anyone where he is. What did you do to him?!”
The two faced each other, the atmosphere stiff and awkward.
Ren Ningyuan looked at him for a while. “Zhuang Wei, since you even had people follow me and still couldn’t find him, that just means you’re overthinking it. Please leave.”
He turned to go back inside. Behind him, Zhuang Wei shouted, “Ren Ningyuan! What does he owe you that you treat him like this? Why won’t you let him go? He doesn’t have the ability to compete with you, let alone to take revenge on you. Why do you have to make things so hard for him?
“Even if he’s just a dog that’s followed you for so many years, you should let him go by now! Do you really have to drive him to death to be satisfied? Is it that hard to leave him a way to live?”
Before going inside, Ren Ningyuan walked around to look at the garden behind the house. Even in winter, there were still flowers there. The gardener tended it diligently. Seen from the upstairs windows, it would still be a soothing view.
Only, the curtains were drawn. Clearly, the person inside had no mood to appreciate it.
Ren Ningyuan went upstairs and entered one of the side parlors. The villa was too large; hardly anyone ever came here. Only the doctor friend he had invited was still there, flipping through magazines on the shelf.
“How is he?”
“For now, all the examinations look fine, but trouble is bound to come sooner or later. He’s far too weak.”
Ren Ningyuan pondered for a moment. “He still won’t eat?”
“It’s not that he won’t—he simply has no response to food at all.”
The man in the guest room was very quiet. There hardly seemed any need for the two bodyguards standing watch outside. Most of the time he just sat there in a daze, occasionally muttering to himself. Getting him to eat wasn’t impossible—if you forced food into his mouth and made him swallow, he would choke a few times and gulp it down in fright. But the look of helpless terror on his face when he was being forced was unbearably pitiful.
“I think he’s living entirely in his own world now. He can’t see anything outside—”
Ren Ningyuan cut him off. “No. You’re overthinking it. He can see. He can see me.”
Whenever Ren Ningyuan appeared, the man would fly into hysterics, struggling wildly like a trapped beast, hurting others and himself alike. Even tying him up didn’t work. In the end, they had no choice but to give him an injection.
“Ningyuan, I can only treat him physically. Maybe you should consider bringing in a psychotherapist—”
Ren Ningyuan said coldly, “Su Zhiyu, he is not mentally ill.”
“…Sorry. I spoke out of turn.”
After a brief silence, Ren Ningyuan asked, “How is he today?”
“A little better than yesterday. Do you still want to go in and see him?”
Ren Ningyuan didn’t answer right away. After a pause, he asked, “Is his mood stable right now?”
“Another sedative injection today would still be fine, if you don’t mind.”
“…No. I won’t go in.”
His body couldn’t take it anymore.
Before leaving, Ren Ningyuan turned back again. “If he won’t eat, don’t force him. Give him nutrient injections instead.”
Su Zhiyu looked at him. “Ningyuan, this isn’t a solution. He shouldn’t be my patient. I can say I’m one of the best doctors in T City, but I can’t cure him.”
“I know,” Ren Ningyuan said with his back to him. “But you can keep his body from collapsing. Just do that.”
“…All right.”
When Ren Ningyuan came again the next day, the surveillance system had been installed. From the computer screen, he could watch the man inside the bedroom. The man was sitting properly on the edge of the bed, hands placed on his knees, staring at the wall. His expression was vacant and docile.
Ren Ningyuan watched for a while. “…He’s very quiet.”
“Yes. Much more well-behaved than a few days ago.”
That day, the man had completely lost control, on the verge of a breakdown. Ren Ningyuan had wanted him to calm down, tried every possible method—only once he was calm could they talk.
Now he was finally quiet.
Ren Ningyuan let out a slight breath of relief, then suddenly fixed his gaze on the screen and straightened from the sofa. “Zhiyu, who is he talking to?”
Su Zhiyu was also taken aback. “…He’s having hallucinations.”
“…”
“He wasn’t like this during yesterday’s examination.”
Ren Ningyuan stared at the screen. “I told you to take good care of him.”
“Ningyuan, I’ve already said—I can only take care of his body.”
Ren Ningyuan said nothing more. After a long while, he finally spoke. “You can go.”
When Chu Mo arrived, the living room lights were off. In the darkness, only the glow of the computer screen remained. On it, the emaciated man was pacing back and forth inside the room, back and forth, with the steady rhythm of a pendulum.
Ren Ningyuan sat on the sofa. Chu Mo stood beside him for a while, then said, “Why don’t you get a psychiatrist?”
“He’s not mentally ill.”
“Then let him go. There’s no benefit for him staying here.”
“If I let him go outside in this state, how can he take care of himself?”
Chu Mo looked at him. “Ningyuan, just admit it. Even you know it—he’s already been driven mad.”
After a while, Ren Ningyuan replied, “Give him a little more time. He’ll get better.”
“Ningyuan, don’t lie to yourself. You are his illness.”
On the screen, the man was skin and bones, panic written all over his face. As if hurrying to do something urgent, he walked briskly from one end of the room to the other, fingers tightly intertwined, then back again.
Chu Mo left as well. Ren Ningyuan remained seated there, unmoving, watching all night.
The car moving steadily through the rain slowly came to a stop.
“What’s wrong?”
“There’s a traffic jam ahead, Mr. Ren.”
The man in the back seat murmured an “Mm” and looked down. The gaunt man wrapped in a blanket was still curled up there, completely motionless. Ren Ningyuan had let him rest his head on his own legs. He had been quiet the entire way—thanks to the drugs—but it wasn’t peaceful. Even in his forced sleep, he frowned as if in pain, trembling slightly.
Ren Ningyuan reached out and touched his forehead. It wasn’t hot, but his lips were cracked and dry. He knew his heart was burning with distress.
The phone’s buzzing vibration sounded especially abrupt in the small pocket of silence inside the car. Ren Ningyuan picked it up quickly and spoke softly. “Hello?”
“We’re still on the way. Wait a little longer,” he said, one hand resting on the man’s hair. “Have you prepared everything on your end? There must be a sufficiently large, independent space. Isolate him from the other psychiatric patients—no contact allowed. Without my permission, no one is allowed to visit. And don’t leave any records.”
“Even if someone comes asking, you must say you’ve never heard of this person… Yes. There is no one named Qu Tongqiu.”
He hung up and lowered the phone. At that moment, he met the man’s open eyes.
The man’s gaze was still muddled, bloodshot and unfocused, but a dawning terror was slowly returning to his expression. Before Ren Ningyuan could say anything, he had already begun struggling inside the thin blanket that restricted his movements, wriggling in a ridiculous yet pitiful attempt to escape, like a green caterpillar.
Ren Ningyuan reached out to grab him. “Tongqiu.”
The strength that burst out of the man in his despair was astonishing. Ren Ningyuan could barely restrain his frantic resistance and ended up in a sorry state himself. He had no choice but to jam his knee hard against the man’s trembling legs and pin him down beneath his own weight.
“Don’t be afraid. I’m just taking you to see a doctor.”
The man’s sunken cheeks flushed red with fear. He struggled desperately, his throat producing hoarse, rasping sounds.
Ren Ningyuan pressed him down until he could hardly move. “Don’t be afraid. I’ll go see you. When you get better, I’ll take you out.”
The man gradually exhausted himself in his futile struggle, whimpering, and for the first time showed an expression close to pleading.
Everything of value that could be taken from him had already been stripped away. What remained was a shriveled, worthless shell, about to be thrown into a madhouse. In the future, no one would be able to find him. Not even a trace would be left. He would disappear from this world without a sound.
“Don’t be afraid. It’s fine. The doctors there will take good care of you…” Ren Ningyuan continued coaxing him, calm and resolute to the point of coldness.
Qu Tongqiu trembled like a dying old horse, tears welling in his eyes. Suddenly, from nowhere, he found a burst of strength. He jerked his head up and bit down hard on the neck that had leaned close to him.
This time, Ren Ningyuan finally let go. In that split second, the man lunged toward the car door in a desperate bid to escape.
“Mr. Ren!”
The car door was wide open. In the rain blown in by the wind, Ren Ningyuan felt dizzy from blood loss.
“Mr. Ren, I’ll take you to the hospital right away.” The driver hurried over to help stop the bleeding and shut the door.
The traffic jam that had stalled them earlier had cleared at some point. The cars behind them honked impatiently. Only after a while did Ren Ningyuan realize that the man had finally escaped the enclosed space and fled outside.
There was no need to look. He knew that everything outside the car had already been seen by others.
Ren Ningyuan’s expression didn’t change. Amid the faint sound of the car starting up again, he closed his eyes.
To find a drenched man, startled like a frightened bird, among rows of boxy skyscrapers and neatly dressed, respectable crowds, was not difficult at all—no matter how much he tried to make himself small.
Mud- and water-stained boots slowly approached. A man in a black long coat crouched down with an umbrella at the edge of the dark corner where the other man was hiding.
“Qu Tongqiu.”
The man curled into a ball had teeth chattering uncontrollably. It was unclear whether it was from the cold or something else.
“It’s me.”
“…”
“Do you still recognize me? I’m Zhuang Wei.”
“…”
Zhuang Wei cautiously pried open the man’s icy fingers that were clutching his pant leg, held them in his wet palms, and coaxed him gently. “Do you want to come with me?”
The man only stared at him dully with reddened eyes. Apart from bloodshot veins and a trace of tears, there was nothing in them.
Zhuang Wei met his gaze for a while, then took off his coat and wrapped it around the man. Holding his hand, he said softly, “Let’s go.”
Zhuang Wei took him home. The man followed obediently the whole way, wooden and docile. His soaked appearance was ugly, like every stray cat or dog picked up on a rainy day—wretched, skin and bones, a little dirty.
In the bathroom, Zhuang Wei stripped off his clothes. He didn’t resist, only curled up in the bathtub, red-eyed and afraid of the cold, dazed but very quiet.
When the water burst from the showerhead with a sudden hiss, he startled and shuddered. Then the warm water, adjusted to the right temperature, poured over him. His hair was rubbed as the mild scent of shampoo spread along with the foam, and he gradually relaxed.
“Close your eyes.”
When the water ran down his eyelids, he instinctively squeezed his eyes shut. Zhuang Wei covered his ears with one hand and rinsed him with the showerhead in the other, then dried his face with a towel.
“All right, you can open them now.”
The man opened his eyes cautiously, watching Zhuang Wei’s hands glide over his body through the bath foam. He shrank his shoulders, uncomfortable with the touch.
The washing didn’t last long. Zhuang Wei gave him a quick rinse, cleaned him up, wrapped him in a large bath towel, roughly dried him from top to bottom, then put him in a bathrobe and sat him on a chair to blow-dry his hair.
The man sneezed repeatedly in the gusts of warm air, his reddened nose twitching. Zhuang Wei stuffed a box of tissues into his arms for him to hold and slowly blow his nose, then continued drying his soft, damp hair.
Watching his clumsy, sluggish movements, Zhuang Wei felt that the man wasn’t mad—he was stupid now.
Perhaps becoming stupid would make him happy. It would allow him to avoid things he couldn’t bear, letting him willingly curl up in the narrow, ignorant world of a fool.
When his hair was mostly dry, Zhuang Wei forced him onto the bed, then glanced at the phone that had been vibrating for some time and answered it.
“You found him?”
“Yes,” Zhuang Wei replied with a hint of malice. “I’ve already washed him clean. Apart from being ugly, there’s nothing wrong with him.”
There was a moment of silence on the other end. “You’re keeping him at your place?”
“I picked him up on the road. If I don’t take him home, should I deliver him to you instead?”
“Zhuang Wei, he’s a patient.”
“I can tell.”
“If you don’t have the ability to take care of him, return him to me.”
Zhuang Wei looked at the shadows on the man’s gaunt cheeks as he lay on the bed and smiled. “I can tell—he was very well taken care of with you. Don’t worry. I’ll only do better than you.”
“…You, of course, know what should be done and what shouldn’t.”
Zhuang Wei laughed. “You’ve already destroyed him. What is there left for me to be cautious about? He’s already like this. Whatever I do to him—will it make any difference?”
There was a long silence before the other side finally said, “Zhuang Wei, please treat him a little better.”
Zhuang Wei only smiled, hung up, and then turned off the phone.
After being handled and arranged like this, the man looked much better. The hot water and steam had forced a bit of color back into his face. His expression was pitifully blank as he lay soundlessly on the bed, looking almost… appetizing.
Even if one were to savagely tear him apart and eat him, he wouldn’t be able to resist. No one would know, and no one would speak up for him.
Zhuang Wei watched him for a while, then pulled the blanket over him, turned off the light, and lay down beside him.
It rained all night. In the middle of the night, Qu Tongqiu seemed to be having a nightmare, trembling in unbearable pain. Zhuang Wei dug him out of the blanket and held him, stroking his back, listening to his low, pleading whimpers for help—and found that he himself couldn’t sleep well either.
When Zhuang Wei woke up the next morning, there were dark circles under his eyes. Lack of sleep only made his mood heavier, his temper more irritable, blood and qi surging restlessly. He looked down at the man curled into a ball in his arms and couldn’t help grinding his teeth—this really was a patient. But he wasn’t exactly a burden either, because he was very quiet, even his moans barely audible. Even in his breakdown, this man was still so humble.
Sensing the movement, Qu Tongqiu also woke up. He opened his eyes and looked at him, his gaze still a little unfocused.
Being stared at like that made Zhuang Wei increasingly restless. In the end, he pinned the man down and bit into that thin, bony shoulder.
The man flinched in pain. Zhuang Wei grabbed his chin, pressed hard against his lips, forced his tongue inside, kissing him until he kept shrinking backward. The kiss made the morning’s pent-up desire swell even more, and desire, in turn, made his strength feel especially overwhelming.
Very soon, Qu Tongqiu could only gasp fearfully beneath him. With one reach of his hand, Zhuang Wei found exactly what he wanted—the man was pitifully naked under the robe. He hadn’t given him underwear the night before.
Doing anything would have been far too easy. He only needed to be a little rougher.
In the end, his hand withdrew. Zhuang Wei got out of bed, rummaged through a drawer, pulled out a pair of boxer briefs, and made the man put them on.
He hadn’t gone all the way. The man’s helplessness, bordering on a total loss of resistance, suddenly drained his interest.
The reason the man had become so weak was that he had already borne far too much. That sorrow was too heavy; even though it hadn’t fallen on Zhuang Wei himself, he could feel its shadow while kissing and touching him.
Even if all that pain had nothing to do with him, even if the man couldn’t voice it, it was as though he could still hear the cries of pain echoing in the man’s mind.
He wasn’t someone with much patience or tenderness—he just couldn’t be too cruel at times like this.
“Hungry? You didn’t eat anything last night.”
Qu Tongqiu fumbled under the covers, found a spot that felt safe, and sat there timidly.
Zhuang Wei fried some eggs, heated milk, toasted two slices of bread, put them on a plate, and carried it to the bed.
“That’s all there is. Make do.”
The startled man still shrank back, pressing his back tightly against the headboard. Zhuang Wei spread jam on the toast and brought it to his mouth. He ate instinctively. Then came the milk, then the fried eggs sprinkled with pepper. Whatever Zhuang Wei fed him, he ate, anxious but obedient.
For a moment, Zhuang Wei felt like an owner feeding a pet. The man hunched his shoulders slightly, jam smudged at the corner of his mouth—not unpleasant to look at. It put him in quite a good mood.
After breakfast, he took Qu Tongqiu to sit on the balcony. It had rained all day before, but today was clear. The air outside was moist and fresh. The balcony overlooked a large stretch of grassland below—this was exactly the stress-relieving view that had made him rent the apartment at double the price.
Qu Tongqiu sat in his arms, just as quiet as expected. Leaning against his chest as if comfortable, he gradually grew drowsy.
Zhuang Wei suddenly felt that it might not be so bad if the man stayed stupid like this.
But the doorbell rang rudely all the same.
Zhuang Wei first led the man back into the living room and sat him on the sofa. The belt of the robe had come loose. Zhuang Wei thought for a moment and didn’t bother tying it, leaving it open so the bite mark on his shoulder was still clearly visible. Only then did he go to open the door.
When he saw who it was, he couldn’t help but pause slightly.
“Mr. Zhuang,” the young deliveryman under Ren Ningyuan’s employ smiled warmly. “Mr. Ren asked me to bring these things over.”
Zhuang Wei glanced down at the large cardboard box and frowned. “What is all this?”
“I’m not sure either,” the man replied cheerfully, helping carry the box inside, tactfully avoiding anything he shouldn’t look at. “Mr. Ren said that if it’s convenient for you, he’d like you to come downstairs for a moment. He’s waiting below.”
Zhuang Wei ignored him and shut the door. He hurried over to wrap the sneezing man tightly and pull him into his arms. While helping him blow his nose, he used his foot to kick open the box.
Inside were clothes, shoes, socks—everything washed and neatly folded.
Zhuang Wei cursed under his breath, then got up, changed clothes, and went downstairs.
Ren Ningyuan’s car was parked there, but he was standing outside it. When he saw Zhuang Wei approach, he lifted his gaze, nodded in greeting, and asked, “How is he today?”
Zhuang Wei forcefully dumped the box at his feet. “What do you mean by sending this junk over?”
Ren Ningyuan looked down at the shirt that had slipped out of the box. “These are things he used to wear all the time. They suit him better than anything newly bought.”
“He doesn’t need them anymore. I’ll buy him new ones. I’m not so poor I can’t afford it.”
Ren Ningyuan looked at him. “Zhuang Wei, you don’t understand him.”
Zhuang Wei smiled. “How could I not? I just got to know him very ‘deeply’ this morning. He liked it quite a bit, too.”
Ren Ningyuan said nothing. After a long pause, he coughed softly. “Don’t treat him like that. He’s a patient. Wait until he gets a bit better—”
“With you around, how is he ever going to get better?”
“I understand. I won’t see him,” Ren Ningyuan paused. “You should… be careful with him too.”
Zhuang Wei grew increasingly irritated. “Got it. If there’s nothing else, I’m going back up. He’s basically stupid now—he can’t do without me.”
“Zhuang Wei,” Ren Ningyuan called after him. “You know this—he’s living in his own world. As long as you wake him up, he’ll slowly recover. Go tell him that Little Ke really misses him. When he gets better, she’ll come see him.”
Zhuang Wei snorted. “That’s unnecessary. I think he’s pretty good the way he is now. If he wants to escape reality, just let him.”
“He can’t hide in hallucinations forever.”
Zhuang Wei smiled indifferently. “Why not? I feed him, clothe him, and he listens to me. He can live just fine with me.”
“Zhuang Wei, he’s not a dog.”
The fair-skinned man’s face turned slightly green for a moment, then he smiled again. “Of course not. I wouldn’t have sex with a dog.”
Ren Ningyuan stared at him in a long silence before finally saying, “Zhuang Wei, he’s had it very hard, and he can’t accept men. Please—don’t use him to vent your desire.”
The man with the haughty features merely shrugged.
Lowering his voice, Ren Ningyuan added, “If he doesn’t get better, and you lose patience caring for him, remember to tell me.”
Back in the apartment, Zhuang Wei saw the man still sitting where he had been, causing no trouble at all—more obedient than the best-trained pet. Zhuang Wei sat beside him, pulled him close, and let him lean in his arms.
“Hmm. Don’t I understand you well enough?”
Of course, the man didn’t answer.
Zhuang Wei fetched a tub of ice cream and fed it to him little by little, then naturally licked the corner of his mouth where it had gotten dirty, followed by a deeper kiss.
From initial fright, the man gradually became docile through sheer habit. He no longer made a sound when kissed, lost in his own thoughts, only shrinking away in pain when Zhuang Wei roughly bit his tongue.
The man’s world had become very simple now. As long as there was no pain, he would be quiet. As long as he was forced, he would accept it. This single-track response pattern made Zhuang Wei feel it was easy to manipulate him—and easy to indulge himself without restraint.
When Zhuang Wei put ice-cream-smeared fingers into his mouth, he obediently licked them. When fed chocolate, he opened his mouth. The deep kisses that followed felt only natural.
Zhuang Wei found himself fascinated by this erotic game, even if it was entirely one-sided. The man’s obliviousness and growing dullness only made these acts feel especially sensual, exciting to the extreme.
Abusing the weak—this was perfectly normal.
Doing nothing at all—that would be the true test of a person’s self-control and conscience.
Zhuang Wei spent the day in a haze of stimulation and indulgence. As a real, living sex doll, the man was far better than any imagined version, inflaming desire all the more.
With ease, Zhuang Wei realized all the crude fantasies he had ever had on him—kissing him, touching him, tangling with him on the bed, forcing him to do many things.
Apart from anything that would cause outright pain, he tried almost everything. The man was simply too easy to handle; even his struggles were faint.
The most exquisite part was that none of what happened outside ever reached the man’s mind at all. Even if Zhuang Wei had pinned him to the table and humiliated him an hour earlier, afterward, facing the very man who had toyed with him, he would still be blank, not knowing to run away.
Only after his final satisfaction did Zhuang Wei dress the man who had curled back into a ball.
It had been a marvelous day. Ren Ningyuan had worried too much—how could this kind of life be bad? Zhuang Wei felt he was almost in love with this experience of doing whatever he pleased. He had even started planning how to play over the next few days.
Qu Tongqiu probably had no objections either. Throughout the whole process, there had been little real pain. And gradually, he even seemed to develop a kind of self-protection. Whenever Zhuang Wei kissed him or touched his thigh, he would immediately close his eyes in conditioned reflex, perhaps curling up in the comfortable world of his own imagination and falling asleep peacefully.
Being together with him had never felt this harmonious or complete.
The Lunar New Year was drawing near. In the evening, fireworks began to go off outside one after another. Zhuang Wei carried the man to the balcony, and they sat together on the same chair, watching the dazzling bursts of light.
“Do you like it?”
The man didn’t respond, still blank, with a small wound at the corner of his mouth.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it, Qu Tongqiu?”
The man was wholly absorbed in his own thoughts, not hearing his voice at all.
“Qu Tongqiu.”
“…”
“Qu Tongqiu, I—”
The man finally moved, lifting his head to look at the sky, startled by the sound of the fireworks.
Zhuang Wei held him, burying his face in the hollow of his neck.
The man only shrugged his shoulders at the cool dampness there.
