Chapter 19
When Qu Ke returned for the holidays, Qu Tongqiu also moved back to the company’s small dormitory to live. He washed and hung the thick clothes she brought back and cooked the dishes she liked.
He wasn’t good at saying nice things or comforting people. He just sat there, watching his daughter happily eat braised pork knuckle and steamed perch. He picked out the fatty meat and the fish head, tail, and skin she was afraid of and ate them himself with rice. After she was full, he scraped the remaining sauce to eat with his meal.
After dinner, he let his daughter have some cut fruit. He took the dishes to wash them clean.
Everything was the same as usual.
“Finished eating?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go.”
Father and daughter put on their coats and went out. Qu Tongqiu wrapped her scarf tighter, tucked her gloves securely into her sleeves. They were meeting Yang Miao and the others tonight. He hadn’t told Qu Ke—there was no point. She would understand when the time came.
Qu Ke held his hand the whole way, hopping along happily. But once they entered the café, she gradually grew puzzled. As they neared Yang Miao’s table and she saw the two people waiting there, her expression changed. She looked up at her father, then at them, panic creeping in.
“Dad…”
Yang Miao greeted her gently. “Little Ke, sit down.”
Qu Ke looked at her, then at Qu Tongqiu, shrinking back guiltily, not daring to sit.
Qu Tongqiu patted her head. “It’s okay. I know you’ve met them before. They already told me.”
The little girl flushed red, shoulders hunching. “Dad, I wasn’t trying to lie to you. I just missed Mom… I was afraid you’d be angry if you knew… Actually, they’ve been very nice to me too…”
“Little Ke, your dad isn’t angry. We’re the ones who have something to tell you.”
Qu Ke sat down beside her father. The atmosphere made her uneasy. She held the glass of juice they’d ordered for her with both hands, watching the three adults warily.
“Even though this is something between us adults, you’ve grown up and you have the right to know,” Yang Miao said, clearly awkward. “Back then, your mom… didn’t only date your dad.”
“So, Uncle Richard might also be your father.”
Qu Ke’s eyes widened.
In the uncomfortable silence, Yang Miao asked again, “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“…”
“I know this is hard to accept. But don’t be too nervous—this is just a possibility, and actually not a very big one. We want you and Uncle Richard to do a DNA paternity test. That way we can be sure.”
Richard coaxed her gently. “Yes, Little Ke. The test is very simple. You don’t have to do anything.”
Qu Ke looked left and right. She didn’t dislike any of the three adults, but some instinct made her bristle like a tiny hedgehog. “Why do we need to be sure?”
“…”
“Will anything be different if we know? What are you going to do?”
Yang Miao’s eyes reddened. She sighed. “Little Ke…”
Richard put an arm around his wife’s shoulders reassuringly. “Because everyone needs the truth. Don’t you want to know? Who your biological father really is?”
“…”
“Blood ties are important. No one can truly not care.”
The little girl looked around in panic and vigilance. Her gaze finally landed on Qu Tongqiu. He was only staring down at the cup in front of him, as if his soul had left his body, saying nothing.
“Even if you don’t want to know, your dad will.”
When they came out of the café, it was already late. Qu Ke still went home with Qu Tongqiu, walking behind him—but she no longer held his hand.
“Dad…”
“…”
“Dad, can I not do the test?”
Qu Tongqiu shook his head.
The tall and small figures walked on in silence for a while. Qu Ke asked softly, “Dad, if I’m not your biological child… will you stop wanting me?”
Qu Tongqiu shook his head again and turned to look at her. Under the streetlamp, the lines on the hardworking man’s face were etched by the wind, his eyes full of tears.
Qu Ke grabbed his hand tightly, whispering through her tears, “Why do we have to do the test…” She cried quietly all the way home.
Richard said it would take three days for the results. He felt it was unbearably long. Qu Tongqiu, on the other hand, felt those days were far too short.
He didn’t tell Ren Ningyuan about any of this.
After talking with Richard, he also realized there were many things Ren Ningyuan had never told him. He thought it probably wasn’t deliberate concealment—Ren Ningyuan simply felt there was no need to tell him.
There had always been a kind of curtain between them. They could vaguely hear movement on the other side, but the boundary was clear, their lives neatly separated. So he felt embarrassed to pour out every little thing to Ren Ningyuan.
Little Ke’s matter was their family affair. He never thought of asking Ren Ningyuan for help.
Why would he need help? He was a man too.
Although Ren Ningyuan had helped him a lot, he had never dared to ask him for anything on his own initiative. He didn’t dare, and he didn’t want to reach out to Ren Ningyuan. He didn’t want Ren Ningyuan to see him as a burden.
No matter how strong someone is, they don’t like dragging along dead weight.
Qu Tongqiu went to consult a lawyer by himself. The lawyer told him frankly that, based on the conditions he provided, his chances of winning weren’t high.
But not high didn’t mean zero.
At home, Qu Tongqiu rummaged through everything that could prove the bond between father and daughter: the baby teeth she’d lost growing up, crayon drawings of the two of them, her elementary-school essay titled “My Dad,” the Father’s Day crafts she’d made for him in art class… He had kept every single thing with care.
Compared to others, he had no real advantages. He wasn’t good with words, and he couldn’t afford nice things. All he could do was lay out everything he had and show it to them. He hoped that somewhere in this world, there was justice for poor people.
Seeing that it was already late, and that Little Ke had been picked up by Richard early that morning and should be coming back soon, Qu Tongqiu didn’t stop them from meeting. He just cooked dinner at home and waited for his daughter to come back to eat.
Today, the DNA test results would come out. It was only natural that those two would be nervous.
Only he wasn’t.
In his heart, he already knew the answer better than anyone else—like an old dog waiting blankly by the table to be slaughtered.
The phone rang. Qu Tongqiu, who had been waiting, jolted and hurriedly picked it up. “Hello?”
“Have you eaten?”
It was Ren Ningyuan on the other end. He’d been out of town on business these past few days. It was early morning in L.A., and his voice sounded hazy.
“I’m coming back today. After I finish my work, I’ll still have some time. Is there anything you want me to bring you?”
“There’s nothing,” Qu Tongqiu said quickly, thanking him over and over. “You’re too kind, still thinking of me…”
“Okay,” Ren Ningyuan said gently. “Does Little Ke wear size two or size four?”
“…”
“What’s wrong?”
Qu Tongqiu stood there with reddened eyes, lips trembling, his throat blocked, unable to make a sound.
Ren Ningyuan was quiet for a moment, as if listening to something, then said, “Don’t worry. I’ll be back right away. Whatever it is, just tell me. I’ll help you.”
Amid days of crushing disappointment, of betrayal and abandonment, this was the first time he felt a warm sense of comfort. Qu Tongqiu’s eyes filled with tears.
“Ren Ningyuan—”
The door banged open from outside. Qu Ke was back. She brought a rush of cold air into the room, her breath coming out white, her eyes brimming with tears.
Qu Tongqiu didn’t have time to say more. He hurriedly hung up the phone and turned to her.
The little girl’s eyes were swollen. She sobbed silently, choking on her words as she walked toward him step by step, holding out a document envelope.
Qu Tongqiu found himself unable to speak either. He had long been mentally prepared, yet the moment of “it’s finally here” still made a father’s heart ache.
His hands trembling, he took the envelope. Qu Ke burst into loud sobs and threw herself into his arms, clinging tightly to his waist. Qu Tongqiu hurriedly stroked her head. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”
“Dad…”
“It’s okay, it’s okay…”
He could still comfort her. He knew earlier than she did. He had thought it through over and over again. He could even understand that couple.
With her head buried in his chest, Qu Ke sobbed, “Dad… I… I don’t match him.”
The man’s trembling hands froze.
“So… I’m your daughter…” The little girl cried so hard her shoulders shook. “That’s great… Dad…”
Qu Tongqiu stiffened for a moment, holding his daughter, then began to tremble more violently.
He thought of Ren Ningyuan. He wanted to ask him—what kind of woman was Yang Miao, really? Why had he introduced Yang Miao to him in the first place?
For the first time, he thought that maybe there were things Ren Ningyuan had deliberately kept from him.
For the first time, he felt the faintest hint of doubt.
When Qu Tongqiu arrived at the café, he was a little earlier than the time he had set, but Yang Miao was already there. There weren’t many customers inside. When she saw him approach, she gave him a smile.
Qu Tongqiu sat down across from her. He felt slightly ill at ease. It was the same seat as last time, yet his mood was even more confused than before.
Yang Miao spoke first. “Actually, I was just about to ask you out as well.”
“Yang Miao…”
“Listen to me first. Just let me finish, that’s enough. These past few days, I’ve really let you down.” She paused. “No— not just these past few days. I’ve owed you a lot for a long time. It’s only right if you hate me. But there are still some things I want to tell you. I’m not a good woman, but when I was with you, my heart was sincere.”
She still looked, faintly, like the woman he had shyly fallen for all those years ago. Even the way she spoke softly now made his heart ache.
“Back then, I really did fall for you. You were young, but gentle and considerate, and you would protect me. For someone like me, finding a good place to settle down wasn’t easy. We hadn’t known each other long when you said you wanted to marry me. I was truly happy.”
Qu Tongqiu sat with his head lowered. Those tiny bits of happiness from over ten years ago had long blurred, yet bringing them up still made his chest feel sore.
“No matter how irresponsible I was, I never betrayed you. After we were together, I was very careful when dealing with clients. I wanted to be loyal to you.”
In the silence, there was only the faint hum of the heater.
“As for whose child it was, even though I couldn’t be sure, my instinct told me it was yours, and I hoped it was yours,” her eyes reddened. “I really wanted to give birth to it. Even if we waited until you finished school to get married, that would have been fine. But what happened later…”
Qu Tongqiu reached into his pocket, took out a handkerchief, and handed it to her. She quietly thanked him and used it to dab the corners of her eyes.
“You’re still so gentle,” she said softly.
The slightly dull man didn’t even realize he was being praised. In Yang Miao’s eyes, he still looked full of worry, with a trace of bewilderment.
“Tongqiu, whatever you want to ask me, just ask. I won’t hide anything from you.”
He hesitated. “Before we were together… besides me and Richard… did you also… with other clients…?”
Yang Miao didn’t answer right away. She only looked down at her fingers, her eyes faintly red.
In that silence, Qu Tongqiu gradually felt his heart go cold. He murmured, “You… your job was just accompanying people to drink, wasn’t it? Why… why did you have to treat yourself so poorly…”
She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “You’re really foolish.”
“…”
“Making a living is never that easy. How could it really be just drinking? I lied to you, because I was afraid you’d look down on me. How could you be so foolish?”
Qu Tongqiu stared at her blankly, suddenly feeling everything fall into chaos. Then he began to stammer, almost talking to himself. “Ren Ningyuan… he introduced you… to me… He would only introduce someone suitable to me. He’s my boss…”
Faced with the sudden rush of tears from Yang Miao, his confusion only deepened. “I—I don’t mean anything else. You—you’re also… a good woman… I just—I just didn’t expect…”
Looking closely at her face, no amount of careful maintenance could hide the weariness beneath. When she cried, the fine lines at the corners of her eyes finally showed.
“No, no. I’m the one who wasn’t worthy of you. I shouldn’t have lied to you like that. If I’d told you the truth earlier, you wouldn’t have wasted all those years on me.”
“It’s fine… you’re quite good, really. Otherwise Ren Ningyuan wouldn’t have introduced you to me…”
Qu Tongqiu’s hands trembled as he reached out to comfort her, holding her hand.
Yang Miao sobbed. “Tongqiu, you don’t understand… how are you still so foolish…”
He stayed with her in the café, letting her cry properly. Guilt tormented her, and he couldn’t bring himself to say anything more to a woman who was crying in regret.
Afterward, he walked her to the car. Just as he was about to close the door, Yang Miao called him. “Tongqiu.”
He turned back to look at her.
“Ren Ningyuan, he…” She looked at him with reddened eyes, but in the end said nothing more. “You must take good care of yourself. Don’t think everyone is too good.”
Qu Tongqiu walked back alone, slowly. He felt he no longer hated Yang Miao, even though looking back, everything in the past seemed so absurd.
Everyone has their own unavoidable hardships. Someone always has to make sacrifices and concessions, to understand others.
It just happened to always be him.
Yet even though he had come to understand Yang Miao, he found himself understanding Ren Ningyuan even less.
When Ren Ningyuan returned from his trip, he took the father and daughter out to eat, bringing many gifts for Qu Ke, and also a scarf for Qu Tongqiu.
Qu Tongqiu kept refusing. “You really shouldn’t spend so much. You often have to go to the States for work. There’s no need to bring things specially…”
“It wasn’t special,” Ren Ningyuan smiled. “The flight was delayed. I had nothing to do at the airport, so I bought them casually. Little Ke should have more of these things. Girls should be raised generously.”
Qu Tongqiu felt inexplicably uneasy. Ren Ningyuan had always shown them some care, but with his normally detached personality, sometimes it felt almost too much.
Qu Ke was happily playing with the fluffy new charm. Ren Ningyuan took a sip of tea and asked Qu Tongqiu, “Did you run into some trouble that day?”
Qu Tongqiu quickly said, “No, nothing important. Just something at the company. It’s already over.”
He didn’t know why, but he lied to Ren Ningyuan. His heart was flustered, yet strangely, he didn’t stutter.
Ren Ningyuan nodded. “If anything happens, don’t worry. Worst case, just don’t do it anymore.”
The dishes were served one by one. Each of them had a bowl of seafood soup. Qu Tongqiu took two uneasy sips, then looked up at Ren Ningyuan and his daughter. Both of them were adding vinegar to their soup at the same time— the same habit.
This tiny, insignificant action made him shiver as if pricked by a needle. A vague, terrifying thought suddenly surfaced in his mind.
Ren Ningyuan knew everything. He was the one who brought Yang Miao over. Then… had he also been her client?
His back went numb instantly. Qu Tongqiu hurriedly lifted his bowl with trembling hands. He was frightened by his own wild thoughts.
He knew it was absurd, but it was like seeing a horrifying scene in a horror movie— even if it was fake, it was enough to chill him to the bone. He was badly shaken.
As the year-end approached, the company went on holiday. Qu Tongqiu packed his things, preparing to take Qu Ke back to his hometown for the New Year. He didn’t plan to tell Ren Ningyuan. For some reason, a sense of fear had grown in his heart.
He also packed up all the things Ren Ningyuan had half-lent, half-given him. He still had the key to Ren Ningyuan’s apartment. Knowing Ren Ningyuan wasn’t home, he opened the door himself.
He placed the items in a conspicuous spot in the living room and left the key there as well. After thinking it over, he felt he should leave a note. He was still choosing his words when he heard the sound of the door opening.
Ren Ningyuan had returned, and Chu Mo came in with him. Both of them froze when they saw Qu Tongqiu.
“So it’s you. Ningyuan just thought there was a burglar,” Chu Mo said.
Ren Ningyuan looked at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to return some things,” Qu Tongqiu felt inexplicably chilled. “They were all borrowed from you. I don’t really need them. I should have returned them earlier. And this key as well.”
Ren Ningyuan didn’t take it. One of his hands was still wrapped in bandages. He glanced at them and said only, “Leave them there.”
He didn’t say much, but that aura alone made Qu Tongqiu’s hair stand on end, his scalp feeling like it was about to explode. After a while, his throat finally loosened enough for him to speak, trembling. “You’re injured?”
“Just a small accident.” Ren Ningyuan opened the cabinet and took out a bottle of alcohol, gesturing to him. “Sit.”
Qu Tongqiu didn’t dare not to sit.
Chu Mo said, “An accident? More like trouble. Those two bodyguards are useless. They let you bleed and still cost money to keep— what’s the point of raising them? You’re not like other people. If you get hurt, we all worry. How can someone so careless be used?”
“It’s fine. We’ll talk about it when there’s a better candidate.”
Qu Tongqiu listened uneasily. “What… happened?”
“Since Ningyuan doesn’t take transfusions easily, we’re most afraid of him getting hurt or needing surgery. You’d better be careful too. Don’t be so clumsy.”
Qu Tongqiu didn’t quite understand. “Huh? Not easy?”
Ren Ningyuan was just about to speak when Chu Mo had already popped the bottle open with a loud sound. “Yeah. Ningyuan is Rh-negative.”
Ren Ningyuan stopped mid-motion.
Qu Tongqiu felt his cheeks stiffen instantly. In the brief silence, goosebumps rose layer by layer. A cold, snake-like chill crawled up his back.
“I’m leaving now.”
Ren Ningyuan called out, “Tongqiu.”
Qu Tongqiu still stood up. He felt the whole room change— the light, the faces— all strange, like something from a nightmare. He wanted to get out quickly, to escape this nightmare.
Ren Ningyuan stopped him. His tall figure loomed, and under that shadow, Qu Tongqiu felt like an ant.
His whole body tensed, as if trapped in a nightmare. His voice turned strangely distorted. “I’m going home.”
“Sit down first.”
Chu Mo also sensed something was wrong. “What’s going on?”
Then he immediately reached out and grabbed the man who was about to flee in panic.
Ren Ningyuan said simply, “He knows.”
Qu Tongqiu, pale-faced, was pressed down onto the sofa by Chu Mo. Ren Ningyuan stood in front of him. “Tongqiu, we need to talk.”
“…”
Ren Ningyuan’s tone was still gentle. “First tell me— what do you know?”
“I… don’t know anything…”
He truly didn’t know anything. No one had told him anything clearly. What he had seen and heard couldn’t clearly explain anything at all.
Ren Ningyuan looked at him for a while. Qu Tongqiu’s legs began to shake.
“What do you want to know, then?”
“Nothing…”
He no longer dared to know anything at all.
The truth would destroy his entire life. He would rather be a fool. If you were going to deceive someone, you should deceive them for a lifetime—letting them be foolish forever would not be cruel. Just don’t wake them halfway.
“About Little Ke…”
Qu Tongqiu’s back jolted. He cut in anxiously before Ren Ningyuan could continue. “I’ll raise her. No matter what, I’ll raise her.”
Ren Ningyuan looked straight into his eyes. “You once asked me about the possibility of her background.”
“I don’t want to know anymore,” Qu Tongqiu began to tremble. “I don’t care anymore. Don’t help me investigate. I’ll take her home for the New Year tomorrow. I’ll go back to work afterward too…”
At this moment, he felt that Ren Ningyuan not welcoming him to T City had been right.
He should have stayed in some small place, living his own quiet life, instead of forcing his way into this real world.
Those truths were things he simply did not have the strength to bear.
“Really, I’ll leave tomorrow. I’ve already packed my bags. Once I go back, I won’t come again. Really…”
He would not pursue it any further. He knew when to retreat.
Any kind of deception or secret was fine—he only begged not to be made to know.
As long as he could keep his illusions and spend the rest of his life with his daughter, that was enough. He only needed a lie that would let him go on living. He dared not ask for anything more.
Ren Ningyuan stared at him for a while. “Yes. I did have relations with Yang Miao.”
It was as if Qu Tongqiu had been shot. He shook violently, then went rigid. After a long time, he began to gasp in great, shuddering breaths, his eyes unfocused.
Before Qu Tongqiu could move, Chu Mo caught hold of him. “Calm down. Don’t get agitated! Things aren’t what you think. Ningyuan was with her before she became your wife. Back then Yang Miao was just a dancer. It wasn’t anything serious. You can’t blame him.”
Qu Tongqiu’s teeth chattered like he had a high fever. “Then why—why did you introduce her to me…?”
Ren Ningyuan’s face showed no expression; only his voice sank lower. “I didn’t foresee what would happen later. I only wanted to compensate you.”
Qu Tongqiu trembled. “Compensate me… for what?”
Half of the tall man’s face was hidden in shadow, light and dark shifting.
In the long silence, even Chu Mo kept his mouth shut.
“Tongqiu.”
“…”
“That person back then—it was me.”
Qu Tongqiu looked at him, panicked and blank.
For the first time, Ren Ningyuan spoke as if coaxing him, his voice softened. “I’m sorry. I hurt you.”
Suddenly, Qu Tongqiu understood.
Even Chu Mo could barely hold him. The man struggled wildly, like a dying animal being flayed alive, writhing in agony, completely unhinged.
“Chu Mo, don’t stop him.”
The moment Chu Mo loosened his grip, the man threw himself forward without any sense, slamming his whole body ahead. His attacks on Ren Ningyuan had no form at all—his hatred was indescribable, as though destroying himself along with the other man still wouldn’t be enough.
Ren Ningyuan restrained his hands and feet, but Qu Tongqiu desperately used his head and face to smash forward, bashing his nose bloody without seeming to feel any pain.
Ren Ningyuan was about to speak when he was suddenly struck on the chin, biting his tongue. He grunted, releasing his hold to clutch his mouth. Immediately, a heavy punch landed in his abdomen, followed by two kicks. He staggered back, bracing himself on the table to stay upright. The chaotic beating nearly knocked him down.
The man’s eyes were bloodshot, his hair disheveled, his expression terrifying. He grabbed a fruit knife from the table and began stabbing wildly without a second thought.
Seeing things spiral out of control, Chu Mo hurriedly seized his wrist and restrained him from behind.
“Qu Tongqiu, calm down! Ningyuan sleeping with you was his mistake, but he put a lot of thought into compensating you. You can’t blame everything about Yang Miao on Ningyuan either. Who would’ve thought you’d take it seriously, even want to marry her? When you married her, Ningyuan gave a lot of money to settle things—otherwise, where do you think her dowry came from?”
Yes. Ren Ningyuan had shown him kindness.
Those acts of grace had bought his entire life—like buying a dog.
Qu Tongqiu struggled madly, slashing and hacking. Finally, he cut a deep gash into Ren Ningyuan’s arm. Even at the sight of blood, he didn’t stop. Chu Mo couldn’t wrest the knife from his hand, only tightening his grip with all his strength.
With a sharp crack—the sound of a dislocated wrist—the knife finally fell to the ground. Yet Qu Tongqiu seemed to feel no pain at all, still flailing desperately with his other hand, like a mindless monster.
Chu Mo was used to seeing despair, but even so, watching him sent a chill through his heart. “Ningyuan, this won’t do. He’s completely lost his mind!”
The bodyguards rushed in from outside. Two well-trained, powerfully built men finally made it impossible for him to break free.
Ren Ningyuan’s sleeve was soaked red. He lowered his head, clutching his arm, his face pale. Chu Mo busied himself checking the wound, stopping the bleeding and bandaging it. Everything was in chaos.
Qu Tongqiu continued to struggle uselessly, to attack. He could no longer speak. Only hoarse, rasping sounds came from his throat, making it clear how much pain he was in.
But no one stood on his side.
He was too insignificant.
After Ren Ningyuan was bandaged, he sat with his eyes closed for a while, then walked over to Qu Tongqiu. His hands and feet were pinned down now; the frenzy had faded, his eyes gradually turning vacant.
Only when Ren Ningyuan bent down did his gaze move sluggishly. Then, gathering all his strength, he spat at the face he had once revered like a god.
