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Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off – CH21

Accidental Infection

Chapter 21: Accidental Infection

In the warehouse, Yuan Chengmin was already sound asleep, his chest rising and falling rhythmically.

The air was stifling and quiet. Chi Xiaoxian and Fang Yue could hear each other’s breathing.

Fang Yue stared into Chi Xiaoxian’s eyes: “What happened just now?”

Chi Xiaoxian hesitated for a moment. Bending the thumbs of both hands, he brought them close and gently tapped them together, gesturing with his hands.

Fang Yue froze for a second.

Seeing that the flush on Chi Xiaoxian’s face had yet to fade, he raised an eyebrow slightly: “That’s their business. What are you getting embarrassed for?”

Chi Xiaoxian: “…”

He yanked the bedsheet up, covering his head, not wanting to talk to Fang Yue anymore.

*This guy only knows how to mock him.*

With the bedsheet covering his head, Chi Xiaoxian became unbearably hot in no time. Just as he was debating whether to uncover himself, Fang Yue unexpectedly gave him an out first: “Aren’t you hot like that?”

Chi Xiaoxian poked his head out, looking at Fang Yue.

Fang Yue was right at hand. It was too dim inside the warehouse, so he could only make out the faint, flowing glint in the other’s eyes, yet he could feel the low, light vibration of his vocal cords when he spoke.

“Does your arm still hurt?” he asked.

Chi Xiaoxian touched his right arm; the dull, swollen ache remained highly noticeable. He nodded, letting out a soft “Mm.”

Fang Yue pulled his arm over just as he had yesterday. The difference was that Chi Xiaoxian was wearing a short-sleeved shirt today. The sensation of his palm brushing against the skin was far more distinct. A thin layer of sweat lingered between their skin, already blending together indistinguishably.

Chi Xiaoxian’s heart pounded wildly. It was a sense of plunging gravity, like being drawn in by a star. Coupled with the sweltering air, he even felt a trace of dizziness.

After kneading for about five minutes, Fang Yue asked in a low voice, “Better?”

It took Chi Xiaoxian quite a while to snap out of his daze, replying with an “Mm.”

Before he could pull his arm back, Fang Yue released his grip first.

The heat vanished instantly, as if that glowing, magnetic star drawing him in had also disappeared. Chi Xiaoxian felt a momentary, dizzying sense of weightless emptiness.

Thinking about it, he figured it was probably because he didn’t have his bag beneath his head. So he scrambled up, folded the bedsheet, and lay back down on top of it.

Before long, listening to Fang Yue’s steady breathing, he fell asleep as well. The night passed without dreams.

—

When they woke up the next day, they went up to the attic to check, only to find that Zhang Yun’s condition had actually worsened. He had developed a fever, a runny nose, and a cough.

Fang Yue guessed that due to physical weakness following his heatstroke, lying in the attic with the window open all night had caused it to develop into a cold.

Wang Hengzhi sat beside him with a face full of worry, sighing: “If only we had fever-reducing medicine.”

Zhang Yun’s face burned like a brazier. Fang Yue reached out to feel his forehead, estimating his body temperature was nearing forty degrees Celsius. Due to the high fever, he couldn’t stomach any food, only managing to drink a bit of water. Fang Yue mixed some protein powder for him, but after taking a few sips, Zhang Yun mumbled that he wanted to throw up.

There was no medicine in the convenience store. Wang Hengzhi could only repeatedly wipe his body down to cool him off, while the rest waited helplessly.

During breakfast, Zhang Yun suddenly began convulsing, his body burning hot, unconscious.

Fang Yue suddenly remembered something: “I recall there’s a medical vending machine on the fourth floor of the graduate building.”

A flash of delight appeared in Wang Hengzhi’s eyes: “Really?!”

“There should be fever-reducing medicine,” Fang Yue nodded. “We can go get some.”

Yuan Chengmin fell silent for a moment before saying cautiously, “Should we wait and see a bit longer? Maybe his fever will break soon? It’s still very dangerous outside, and there must be zombies in this building too…”

Wang Hengzhi saw right through him instantly, but didn’t utter a word of blame, merely saying, “It’s fine. You stay here. I’ll go get the medicine for him alone.”

“But—”

Wang Hengzhi had already stood up, his resolve firm. If the fever had progressed to convulsions, the patient was highly likely to suffer neurological aftereffects if he survived. They couldn’t delay for another second.

Fang Yue stood up as well: “I’ll go with you. That vending machine is quite hard to find.”

Just as Chi Xiaoxian was about to speak, Fang Yue had already turned to look at him: “You stay. You and Yuan will take care of Zhang Yun. We can’t make too much noise going out—having more people isn’t necessarily better.”

“Okay,” Chi Xiaoxian nodded. Knowing he couldn’t dissuade Fang Yue, he merely said, “Then be careful on your way.”

They used hard cardboard to bind their arms and wrists. Fang Yue took the crowbar, leaving the hammer for Wang Hengzhi, and brought along the stun gun.

They listened intently by the convenience store door for a while. Only after hearing no movement did they move the metal rack blocking the back door and undo the latch.

Before leaving, Fang Yue said, “It shouldn’t take long. If we haven’t returned after ten minutes, you and Yuan Chengmin must lock the back door securely and press something heavy against it. Don’t let the zombies get in.”

Chi Xiaoxian and Yuan Chengmin committed it to memory.

From the moment the two stepped out, Chi Xiaoxian’s heart was caught in a vice grip. Five minutes passed like five hours; time felt like an hourglass, yet every grain of sand dropped agonizingly slowly.

He kept track of the time, only to suddenly realize his phone had one percent battery left.

Just as the sixth minute passed, the phone automatically shut down due to low battery.

Chi Xiaoxian and Yuan Chengmin exchanged a glance.

The two counted the seconds in their heads. After a while, Yuan Chengmin reminded him cautiously: “I think it’s been ten minutes.”

Just then, a flurry of chaotic footsteps sounded from upstairs, crossing directly above the warehouse and gradually fading away. They waited a bit longer, yet still no one returned, while the footsteps grew increasingly chaotic, the direction impossible to discern.

“Will they still make it back?” Yuan Chengmin said with deep worry.

A sudden, low zombie snarl startled them both—it sounded so close it was practically right outside the door.

Yuan Chengmin’s heart pounded wildly. He turned to Chi Xiaoxian immediately: “Lock the door. Pull the shelves over to block it.”

Chi Xiaoxian bit his lip hard, yet said, “You stand guard here! I’ll be right back!” Turning on his heel, he sprinted up to the attic.

He gathered seven or eight empty water bottles, opened the attic window, and forcefully hurled them down into the courtyard below.

*Crash! Crash!* One, two, three…

The empty bottles were all used up, leaving only the ones that still contained water.

Steeling his heart, Chi Xiaoxian unscrewed the caps and loudly splashed the water out, hoping the noise would divert the zombies’ attention even slightly.

“They’re back!” Yuan Chengmin’s delighted shout echoed from downstairs.

Chi Xiaoxian hurriedly pulled the window shut and ran downstairs. Taking a look, Fang Yue and Wang Hengzhi had indeed returned, successfully bringing back two blister packs of fever-reducing medicine.

Sparing no time to describe the retrieval process, Wang Hengzhi quickly opened a bottle of mineral water and had Zhang Yun swallow the pills.

Chi Xiaoxian looked Fang Yue up and down.

“What is it?”

“It went over ten minutes. We almost locked the door,” Chi Xiaoxian mumbled.

“Angry?” Fang Yue stared at him for a moment.

“…As long as you’re not hurt.” Chi Xiaoxian let out a sigh.

“You helped us out just now,” Fang Yue pointed toward the courtyard. “We got tangled up by a few zombies on the first floor. We were right by the door but had no chance to get in. The commotion you made helped us break free.”

Having said that, he reached out and ruffled Chi Xiaoxian’s hair. “Good job.”

Before Chi Xiaoxian could react, Fang Yue had already turned around to tend to Zhang Yun, leaving him standing there in a daze as a faint red flush slowly crept up the tips of his ears.

*This was revenge… because I played with his hair while he was sleeping earlier.*

—

After taking the fever-reducing medicine, Zhang Yun’s temperature went down slightly, but he still burned intermittently throughout the night. It wasn’t until the next day that he recovered some energy and ate breakfast with them.

Following the bout of illness, Fang Yue called on everyone to give the warehouse and attic a thorough cleaning.

They used a damp rag to give the floor a quick wipe down, then gathered the trash into plastic bags to dispose of on the second floor.

The trash was somewhat heavy, containing plenty of leftover scraps from the cardboard boxes they had disassembled. Yuan Chengmin carried one bag upstairs first, and Chi Xiaoxian took the remaining bag, following him up.

Reaching the second floor, Yuan Chengmin opened the window and tossed the first bag down. Just as he was about to lift the second bag, a pitch-black figure suddenly swung into view at the window frame.

Chi Xiaoxian dropped the trash bag and lunged forward, yanking Yuan Chengmin away from the windowsill.

Stumbling back, Yuan Chengmin caught sight of the thing outside the window, his pupils dilating abruptly—it was a zombie hanging upside down outside the window, hair dangling, facing him, its bloody maw resembling the gaping maw of hell.

Chi Xiaoxian’s first instinct was to pull the window shut. Yuan Chengmin reacted in an instant as well, and working together, they slammed the window shut with a loud *BANG*.

The zombie’s head smashed against the glass, producing a series of heavy thuds.

The people downstairs heard the commotion and hurried up. Seeing the scene, both Wang Hengzhi and Zhang Yun were left dumbfounded.

Fang Yue went to the window and looked up, discovering that the zombie actually had its feet hooked onto the third-floor windowsill.

“It couldn’t have been waiting for us to throw out the trash this whole time, could it?” Wang Hengzhi said in horror.

“That’s way too tactical…” Zhang Yun murmured. “If zombies can think, what difference is there between them and normal people like us?”

This question bore no close scrutiny.

“Back to the warehouse,” Fang Yue concluded calmly. “The second floor is no longer safe either. We’d best move all the food into the warehouse first.”

The group began sweeping all the items on the shelves into large bags to carry back to the warehouse. Chi Xiaoxian, however, stood frozen in place for a moment before stepping forward to help gather the items.

“Did that scare you just now?” Fang Yue asked casually as he passed by him.

Chi Xiaoxian looked up and smiled: “A little.”

“Your reaction was very fast.”

“Right, haha? I’m actually pretty sharp-eyed and quick-handed.” Chi Xiaoxian’s lips curled up. “When I was little, my grandmother used to say I was like a cat—when it’s time to be lazy, I’m incredibly lazy, but when it’s time to be sharp, I can be sharp.”

His words made Fang Yue couldn’t help but recall that little milk cat he used to raise.

After finishing the cleanup, they dragged the shelves over to barricade the glass doors and windows anew, preventing zombies from gathering force to break in. The back door was reinforced as well, blocked entirely by two heavy crates.

Chi Xiaoxian’s arm was still a bit uncomfortable, making him unable to lift heavy objects. He stood on the sidelines watching for a while before saying, “I’ll go to the warehouse and organize the food.”

Fang Yue turned his head and gave an “Mm.”

Chi Xiaoxian retreated back into the warehouse, glanced over his shoulder, and dodged quickly behind several stacks of storage bags, pulling out a small makeup mirror he had scrounged up in the store earlier.

He raised the mirror, brushed the hair on the side of his head upward, and looked into the reflection—

Hidden there was a fresh wound, the flesh flaring slightly outward, the edges still seeping beads of blood.

It was from when he pulled Yuan Chengmin away earlier—scratched by the fingernails of the upside-down zombie.

Chi Xiaoxian stuffed the mirror back into his backpack, ruffled his hair twice, and covered the wound once more.

He frowned very slightly, a myriad of faces flashing through his mind in an instant.

He thought of the security guard uncle who had dragged the zombie out of the hole to fight it alone; he thought of Zhang Wensheng, who had leaped from the fifth floor; he thought of Liu Xi, locked in the basement utterly stripped of dignity…

He turned his head to look outside the door. The others were still moving crates, no one noticing him.

Chi Xiaoxian packed his belongings simply. Just as he was about to stuff the final piece of clothing into his backpack, he suddenly noticed half a bag of potato chips resting on the floor tile where he slept, sealed shut with a clip by someone unknown.

Chi Xiaoxian figured he probably knew who it was.

Treating the potato chips as his very last item, he stuffed them into his backpack, then tiptoed out of the warehouse and up to the second floor.

He checked outside the window carefully, then looked up, confirming there were no hidden zombies around. Ignoring the pain in his arm, he pulled the window open with force.

*Whoosh—*

The daytime summer wind, carrying residual heat, billowed the curtains outward like a sail ready to embark on a long voyage.

Chi Xiaoxian cast one last look at the empty second floor, then turned around and climbed onto the windowsill…


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Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

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Score 9.1
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2024
If someone asked Chi Xiaoxian what his ideal life was like, he would definitely say:“Just look at my name and you’ll know. My dream is to live a life where I can slack off to my heart’s content.”Then, a global mutation occurred, and unfortunately, he turned into a zombie.As he watched a massive horde of zombies charge toward humanity in a spectacular frenzy, Chi Xiaoxian simply lay down lazily.The phrase “playing dead” could not have been more perfectly suited to him.Until one day, he encountered Fang Yue in the woods.One human and one zombie stared at each other.Fang Yue weighed the crowbar in his hand, wondering which angle would be best for smashing the zombie’s head, when the zombie suddenly greeted him.Chi Xiaoxian wiped the mud off his face. His eyes were astonishingly clear.“Hey, classmate. Do you remember me?”Fang Yue’s expression remained calm, but inside, a storm was raging.Chi Xiaoxian smiled faintly.“Don’t worry, I won’t eat you. But could you carry me up a tree?”“It’s cooler up there. I want to take a nap, but my limbs aren’t very flexible, so I can’t climb up myself.”Fang Yue: “???”---Many years later, after the world had finally returned to peace, a heroic legend began to circulate.—There was an incredibly powerful man who had led humanity’s defense forces to defeat the zombies, yet he had refused all recognition and remained shrouded in mystery.A certain journalist spent a fortune gathering information and eventually tracked down the hero’s residence.According to rumors, the mysterious hero lived with a remarkably young university professor who had already achieved extraordinary accomplishments in academia.The journalist eagerly went there, hoping to catch a glimpse of the legendary hero.Instead, all he saw was a human-shaped salted fish completely sunk into the sofa.Chi Xiaoxian yawned.“I watched two movies today, so I’m a little tired. How about you come back tomorrow?”Journalist: The incredibly powerful human you told me about?! Did I come to the wrong place?!After confirming the address several more times, the journalist returned the next day and continued the interview with great trepidation.“May I ask what your greatest ability is?”Chi Xiaoxian curled up on the sofa, sipping his drink as he seriously pondered the question.“…Lying around without moving?”Carefree, shamelessly lazy little zombie Chi Xiaoxian (bottom) × Brilliant biological genius and workaholic Fang Yue (top)
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