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Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off – CH19

The Convenience Store

Chapter 19: The Convenience Store

Tonight was definitely a stroke of good fortune; they encountered only scattered, solitary zombies along the way. Had they met a dense cluster, reaching the unmanned convenience store so smoothly would have been impossible.

The convenience store sat on the first floor and had two entry doors. One faced directly outside—a glass sensor door designed with extra thickness to prevent theft, which was likely why it had managed to withstand the zombies’ battering. The other door opened into the stairwell of the academic building and was usually kept locked.

Yuan Chengmin called his friend immediately, asking them to open the door and let them in.

The call was answered almost on the first ring.

“We’re here,” Yuan Chengmin whispered, keeping his voice low.

“The power’s out, so the glass door won’t open. Use the one inside the building. Can you find it? There’s a corner right by the stairwell on the first floor…”

It was the first time both Chi Xiaoxian and Yuan Chengmin had set foot in the graduate teaching building, but Fang Yue had been here several times. He had noticed that narrow iron door in the stairwell before.

Switching on his phone’s flashlight, he illuminated a small patch of space in the first-floor lobby.

To their surprise, the lobby floor showed only sparse, scattered bloodstains. The sculpture in the center, inscribed with *”The Future Belongs to the Highlands,”* stood firmly erect, its carved cluster of fresh flowers emitting a cool white glow under the flashlight’s beam.

Chi Xiaoxian guessed that because graduate students were far fewer in number than undergraduates, the infection hadn’t broken out here on a massive scale.

They located the small door smoothly and knocked gently twice.

With a soft creak, the door was pulled open cautiously, and all three let out a collective sigh of relief almost simultaneously.

“I’m Zhang Yun, second-year grad student from the School of Economics.”

“Wang Hengzhi, first-year grad student from the Law School.”

These two were friends Yuan Chengmin had made through the board game club.

Though named a board game club, it was essentially a casual group created for finding card partners to play games with. Li Tong had once thought they were far too unfocused on their proper duties and attempted to disband the club, but its sheer popularity forced him to abandon the idea.

After mutual introductions, Zhang Yun and Wang Hengzhi gave them a tour of the unmanned convenience store.

The store was divided into two sections: front and back.

The front was the retail area, where students normally grabbed items and scanned codes to pay directly. Due to limited floor space, the store was split into two levels, both packed to the brim with shelves to maximize merchandise capacity.

The back was a warehouse storing cased food and daily consumables, replenished periodically by delivery workers.

Feeling that having only a single glass door in front offered no security, Zhang Yun and Wang Hengzhi usually slept in the warehouse. During summer, it was hot and stifling inside, often waking them up abruptly in the middle of the night drenched in sweat.

The moment Chi Xiaoxian stepped into the warehouse, he caught the sour, stale stench of trapped perspiration and held his breath instinctively. He stole a glance at Fang Yue, finding the latter’s complexion looking equally unpleasant.

Fang Yue was meticulously clean under normal circumstances—his dorm room kept spotlessly dust-free, floor tiles gleaming, and he even owned a dust mite controller to vacuum his bedding morning and night, a routine that constantly left Chi Xiaoxian in awe.

After walking around, Chi Xiaoxian suddenly noticed a problem: “Is there no restroom here?”

Zhang Yun and Wang Hengzhi exchanged a glance, showing embarrassed expressions.

“Then how do you guys handle…”

“Er—” Zhang Yun felt somewhat sheepish. “Bag it, then toss it out.”

“There’s a window on the second floor,” Wang Hengzhi added.

*Talk about unrefined.*

Chi Xiaoxian instinctively glanced at Fang Yue again, only to see his thin lips tightly pressed and his brows locked in a deep scowl—a demeanor far graver than when surrounded by zombies. Chi Xiaoxian desperately stifled a laugh inside.

Yuan Chengmin let out a sigh: “Make do with it. At least there’s plenty of food, so we won’t starve to death.”

“Right, did you guys bring multivitamin tablets?”

Fang Yue rummaged through his bag to hand them over.

“Awesome! My mouth is covered in ulcers right now, I couldn’t eat no matter how much food there was!” Zhang Yun and Wang Hengzhi were overjoyed.

Opening bottled water immediately, the two took two composite multivitamin tablets each. Whether it was psychological or not, the moment the tablets went down, the ulcers in their mouths felt noticeably less painful.

As Chi Xiaoxian stowed the small multivitamin bottle away, Zhang Yun suddenly blurted out to him, “I was wondering why your name sounded so familiar! I know you!”

Chi Xiaoxian froze for a second.

“I was the TA for Macroeconomics! You kept forgetting to hand in assignments so I always had to chase you down—don’t you remember? You even promised to buy me a meal after the course ended, and I’ve been waiting ever since!”

“…Ah!” Chi Xiaoxian wore an awkward expression as a faint memory surfaced.

His relationship with the TAs of every course was remarkably delicate. After all, he constantly pushed submissions right up against the deadline, sent emails to the wrong addresses (sending one course’s assignment to another course’s TA), submitted disorganized paper formatting that required revisions, and got caught asking others to sign in for him…

A truly rap sheet of offenses.

Just as Chi Xiaoxian was piously reflecting on his sins, Fang Yue out of nowhere dropped a nonchalant line: “You even promised to buy a TA a meal?”

Chi Xiaoxian went blank for a moment.

Fang Yue glanced at him: “I went through all that trouble finding a reason to pass your paper, and I haven’t seen you offer a single gesture.”

“Oh, there must definitely be a gesture! I’ll buy you a meal too!” Chi Xiaoxian grabbed his arm right away. “Pick anywhere you want, anywhere at all…”

“Just messing with you,” Fang Yue said flatly. “You’d better settle your debts with others first.”

Chi Xiaoxian: “…” *Was it his imagination, or had this guy gotten a bit mischievous?*

The group chatted casually. Zhang Yun and Wang Hengzhi were deeply curious about their escape journey, listening to Chi Xiaoxian recount the story from the dorm to the print shop, back to the dorm, and finally making it to the convenience store after countless twists.

Zhang Yun sighed to Wang Hengzhi, “Good thing we chose to hide here back then. If we’d tossed around going back to the dorms, who knows if our little lives would even still be around.”

“Yeah, we count as really lucky. It’s just that I haven’t showered in seven or eight days—I feel like I’m going sour,” Wang Hengzhi wailed toward the ceiling. “When can I finally get a proper shower! I’m going to get pickled and fermented, ahhh!”

Yuan Chengmin: “Holy crap, stop right there! I finally managed to ignore that stench, and you bring it up again! I was nearly knocked out by you two when I first walked in.”

“What choice do we have…”

“Oh, right,” Zhang Yun shifted the topic. “What was that about a zombie appearing out of thin air at the print shop?”

Chi Xiaoxian explained the situation and shared Fang Yue’s deduction about a zombie potentially hidden in the basement.

“The print shop actually does have a basement!” Zhang Yun slapped his forehead. “That shop was already there when I enrolled as a freshman, though under a different owner back then. There were two computers and a printer down in the basement where you could print things out. After the owner changed a year later, the basement didn’t seem to be used anymore.”

Fang Yue: “Do you know the current owner well?”

“You mean Old Chen?” Zhang Yun answered almost without thinking. “Of course. I met him as soon as he arrived at the school. He said the previous shop owner was his distant relative who fell ill, so the shop was transferred to him.”

“What did he do before?”

“I chatted with him before. He mentioned serving in the military, but I don’t know the details beyond that.” Zhang Yun suddenly remembered something. “Oh, right! He has a son. He’d always nag to me about how great his son’s grades were, how smart his brain was, showering him with praises.”

“Where is his son now?”

“He didn’t say. Probably not married yet; if he were, he’d definitely nag more about a daughter-in-law or grandchildren. Don’t elderly people love talking about those things?” Zhang Yun pondered for a moment. “I felt he was quite lonely living at the school alone with no family around, which is why he loved bringing up his son—probably hoping he’d come visit.”

The room fell silent for a short while.

“Ah, blame me for steering the topic into heavy territory!” Zhang Yun gave himself a light slap across the face, standing up to fetch a few bottles of Sprite to distribute to the group. “Old Wang and I are thrilled you guys could come—the two of us grew sick of staring at each other long ago. With five people now, we have more than enough for card games! We must celebrate, come, come, come—”

Clinking their bottles together, the atmosphere brightened significantly.

Yuan Chengmin’s face lit up with joy as well: “Are there cards here? My hands have been itching for days!”

“None in the convenience store, unfortunately,” Zhang Yun said in a regretful tone.

“Heh, but guess what?” He shifted his tone abruptly. “I happened to have two decks of cards in my bag that day because I planned to play in the cafeteria after class! Talk about a surprise?!”

Yuan Chengmin was overjoyed.

Chi Xiaoxian didn’t play cards often, yet he too was infected by their cheerful mood. Yuan Chengmin even offered a guarantee beside him, promising to teach him.

Watching this group of thrilled people, Fang Yue remained quietly silent.

Chi Xiaoxian turned his head to ask him: “Do you know how to play?”

Fang Yue: “Never played.”

Chi Xiaoxian smiled: “Figures. You’re a tryhard—where would you find time to study card strategies?”

Fang Yue raised an eyebrow: “Then why don’t you know either?”

“…Even salted fishes have specialized domains, okay?”

“Don’t misuse idioms.”

—

For the first round, Chi Xiaoxian watched them play *Fight the Landlord* from the sidelines. For the second round, to help him learn better, Yuan Chengmin offered his position as the Landlord for him to give it a try.

Chi Xiaoxian gathered the cards clumsily, fanning them out with care. Being a complete novice, he couldn’t even hold a hand steadily, almost spilling them all onto the table.

Unaccustomed to competitive games, he was just about to call Yuan Chengmin over for help when he realized the guy was nowhere to be seen—turning his head, only Fang Yue stood behind him.

Fang Yue was reading a book, getting poked out of nowhere by him.

“You got the rules just now, right?” Chi Xiaoxian leaned back slightly, pressing close to his side. “Mind helping me check my hand?”

“I was reading just now.” Fang Yue held up a senior-year textbook in his hand.

“Geniuses can multitask.”

Fang Yue looked at him for a moment, saying in a low, quiet voice, “You’re getting bolder and bolder with troubling me now.”

Chi Xiaoxian curled his lips, shrinking back into his seat to wage battle on his own.

His hand was rather mediocre, containing only two tiny bombs. After the two peasants opposite him played several consecutive trick rounds, he felt forced to unleash a bomb first. Just as he moved to throw out four 3s, he heard the person behind him clear his throat softly.

Chi Xiaoxian froze for a second, switching to four 5s to throw out instead, only for the person behind him to cough softly once more.

Now Chi Xiaoxian understood, declaring generously, “I pass! You guys—”

Before his sentence landed, a cool, leisurely voice drifted over: “Someone should organize his cards properly.”

Chi Xiaoxian’s hand trembled, nearly spilling the cards again.

A slender, long-fingered hand reached over, tapping out a few cards from his hand and flicking them gently. Only then did Chi Xiaoxian realize he had overlooked a straight.

After playing the straight and forcing out the two peasants’ largest bomb, Chi Xiaoxian rapidly cleared his hand under Fang Yue’s subtle guidance.

Returning from a walk around the second floor, Yuan Chengmin said in surprise, “Not bad! Winning your very first round as Landlord!”

Chi Xiaoxian let out a chuckle, knowing in his heart that this was entirely Fang Yue’s credit.

He had realized that Fang Yue was sharp-tongued but soft-hearted—a genuinely good person who simply wrapped himself in a cold, indifferent shell.

Card games always made time fly, and night deepened quickly. To conserve the flashlight’s battery power, they decided to return to the warehouse to sleep.

The warehouse wasn’t particularly spacious, yet fitting five people was just right, without feeling overly cramped.

Zhang Yun and Wang Hengzhi had previously been sleeping on simple mats made of flattened cardboard boxes, but later found the warehouse far too hot and switched to sleeping directly on the floor tiles.

Before going to sleep, Fang Yue found a bottle of waterless hand sanitizer in the shop, wiping down his small plot of sleeping space with tissues until it gleamed before resting his head on his backpack to lie down.

Following his example, Chi Xiaoxian wiped his own sleeping spot as well, then lay down right beside Fang Yue.

In the dim warehouse, Fang Yue caught only a tiny spark of light reflected in the other’s eyes.

That spark flickered gently.

After a long pause, Fang Yue finally couldn’t help but ask: “…Aren’t you going to sleep?”

Chi Xiaoxian whispered softly: “It feels so strange.”

“Mm?”

“No sound of page-turning or typing—it’s too quiet,” Chi Xiaoxian let out a sigh. “I’m not used to you not tryharding at night.”

“…”

“Besides, lying this close to you… I’ve never slept face-to-face with anyone before…”

Fang Yue remained silent for a long moment, deciding not to lie face-to-face with this guy, and turned his body away.

Before long, he felt a faint itch on the back of his head, as if someone were gently messing with his hair.

The movement reminded him of a white kitten he used to raise back in District Six, who loved crouching atop his head to sleep in the middle of the night, treating the spot on his pillow as her exclusive little nest—occasionally raising a paw to lightly stroke his hair or touching his head with her small, barbed tongue.

Except she was later taken away by his brother, who deemed her too much trouble after less than two years and released her into the wild, her current whereabouts unknown.

“Your hair texture is actually pretty nice,” Chi Xiaoxian muttered under his breath.

Fang Yue caught the hand causing trouble in his hair, saying in a low voice, “Fun?”

Chi Xiaoxian fell quiet for a moment before speaking: “I just find it a bit magical. I actually went from the print shop to the dorm with you, and from the dorm to here. If not for this zombie outbreak, our relationship would probably be entirely world’s apart, wouldn’t it?”

Fang Yue raised an eyebrow slightly: “Not necessarily.”

“With someone who forgets regular assignments and writes the thinnest final paper in class, it would have been hard for me *not* to remember you.”


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Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

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Score 9.1
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2024
If someone asked Chi Xiaoxian what his ideal life was like, he would definitely say:“Just look at my name and you’ll know. My dream is to live a life where I can slack off to my heart’s content.”Then, a global mutation occurred, and unfortunately, he turned into a zombie.As he watched a massive horde of zombies charge toward humanity in a spectacular frenzy, Chi Xiaoxian simply lay down lazily.The phrase “playing dead” could not have been more perfectly suited to him.Until one day, he encountered Fang Yue in the woods.One human and one zombie stared at each other.Fang Yue weighed the crowbar in his hand, wondering which angle would be best for smashing the zombie’s head, when the zombie suddenly greeted him.Chi Xiaoxian wiped the mud off his face. His eyes were astonishingly clear.“Hey, classmate. Do you remember me?”Fang Yue’s expression remained calm, but inside, a storm was raging.Chi Xiaoxian smiled faintly.“Don’t worry, I won’t eat you. But could you carry me up a tree?”“It’s cooler up there. I want to take a nap, but my limbs aren’t very flexible, so I can’t climb up myself.”Fang Yue: “???”---Many years later, after the world had finally returned to peace, a heroic legend began to circulate.—There was an incredibly powerful man who had led humanity’s defense forces to defeat the zombies, yet he had refused all recognition and remained shrouded in mystery.A certain journalist spent a fortune gathering information and eventually tracked down the hero’s residence.According to rumors, the mysterious hero lived with a remarkably young university professor who had already achieved extraordinary accomplishments in academia.The journalist eagerly went there, hoping to catch a glimpse of the legendary hero.Instead, all he saw was a human-shaped salted fish completely sunk into the sofa.Chi Xiaoxian yawned.“I watched two movies today, so I’m a little tired. How about you come back tomorrow?”Journalist: The incredibly powerful human you told me about?! Did I come to the wrong place?!After confirming the address several more times, the journalist returned the next day and continued the interview with great trepidation.“May I ask what your greatest ability is?”Chi Xiaoxian curled up on the sofa, sipping his drink as he seriously pondered the question.“…Lying around without moving?”Carefree, shamelessly lazy little zombie Chi Xiaoxian (bottom) × Brilliant biological genius and workaholic Fang Yue (top)
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