Chapter 45
“Xiao Hua, come do the bookkeeping.”
The shop was too short-handed, so the boss leaned out of the kitchen window and shouted into the little courtyard.
“Coming!” the boss’s wife answered. Then she turned to Shi Ye and said, “Child, if there’s anything you want to eat, go order it at the front. Once it’s ready, I’ll have it brought over. No charge.”
Before Shi Ye could refuse, the boss’s wife had already gone back to the front to help.
She hired student workers at her shop too, kids like Xia Fengsheng and Qiu Xueyang. Both of them had difficult family circumstances and came out to work part-time to help support the household. Sensible, capable, good grades too—they were just born unlucky, not into the right families.
And since Shi Ye was Xia Fengsheng’s friend, then naturally he was a good child too.
At their shop, Xia Fengsheng was the kind of good kid that made both boss and customers full of praise—sensible, capable, good at studying—completely different from how he was at school.
Lately, though, Xia Fengsheng had not been in very good shape. He was already pale to begin with, and after several days of poor sleep, his complexion had gone paper-white, the dark circles under his eyes like smeared ink, his gaze full of fatigue.
Qiu Xueyang asked him, “What’s been going on with you these past few days? You don’t look too good.”
She could clearly tell something was off with him recently. Even his chin had gotten sharper.
Qiu Xueyang was in the same class as Xia Fengsheng. Before this, the two of them had never spoken at school. It was only after meeting through part-time work that they gradually started interacting.
Yes—met through part-time work.
At school, Xia Fengsheng either studied or slept every day. He didn’t really chat with people, nor did he huddle up with the boys in class to play games. Most of the time he was by himself.
Qiu Xueyang guessed that apart from his deskmate and the class monitor, Xia Fengsheng probably didn’t even know a single other person in the class.
Warm water streamed from the faucet. Xia Fengsheng was washing dishes.
“Didn’t sleep well,” he said.
Qiu Xueyang was cheerful and talkative. Hearing that, she immediately asked with concern, “Why didn’t you sleep well? Are there a lot of mosquitoes in the school dorms?”
Xia Fengsheng stared coldly at the foam in the sink with dark eyes. After two silent seconds, he said, “Mm. Too many. Couldn’t sleep.”
Qiu Xueyang said, “Then you should buy a mosquito net. I know a place that sells them really cheap. After work I’ll take you there.”
Because the employees on the evening shift all came in before dinner, when things weren’t busy, they could go eat in the little courtyard first.
Auntie had just moved a table into the courtyard and set it next to the one where Little Xingxing and Shi Ye were sitting.
When Auntie made humming, indistinct sounds and greeted him, Shi Ye realized she was deaf and mute. She could hear only a little and couldn’t speak.
The barbecue shop provided dinner at night—some stir-fried dishes from the shop and rice.
When the staff took breaks to eat, they were used to staying with Little Xingxing. Little Xingxing had autism. None of them were professionals, so they didn’t know how to relieve or improve his symptoms. The only thing they could do was keep him company.
The deaf-mute aunt couldn’t speak. After she came over, she tapped on the table to let Little Xingxing know she was there, then smiled and waved at Shi Ye in greeting.
The child had helped her carry things just now.
Not long after Auntie sat down, Xia Fengsheng and Qiu Xueyang came over to eat as well.
Both of them were holding bowls of white rice. When Xia Fengsheng came over, he glanced at Shi Ye’s bowl and, seeing that he had eaten the egg-fried rice, quietly let out a small breath of relief.
He had been afraid Shi Ye wouldn’t eat. Dancers avoided a lot of food, and tonight Shi Ye was staying with him. If he didn’t eat, he’d be hungry all night.
The moment Xia Fengsheng came over, Little Xingxing instantly lifted his head.
Xia Fengsheng glanced at him. His cold gaze fell on the crayon box. The blue crayon that had fallen to the floor earlier was now lying quietly back inside.
“Who picked it up for you?” he asked again, repeating the earlier question.
Little Xingxing looked at him angrily and said nothing.
Xia Fengsheng used his long fingers to pry the blue crayon out of the box, as if he was about to throw it onto the ground.
Little Xingxing’s expression froze, then clearly panicked. He grabbed Xia Fengsheng’s arm in one swift motion.
Xia Fengsheng held the crayon suspended in midair, still looking as though he meant to throw it.
“Uh!” Little Xingxing struggled to force out a sound. “I… it was… me!”
The next second, Shi Ye saw it—Xia Fengsheng’s always icy face broke into a gentle, indulgent smile.
Like clouds finally parting to reveal the moon—bright and radiant.
He reached out and rubbed Little Xingxing’s head, his voice soft as a breeze brushing across the face. “Good job.”
Little Xingxing’s language system was intact. His parents had taken him to be examined, and the doctor said that Little Xingxing could speak, but whether he wanted to was entirely up to him.
He had autism and was completely immersed in his own world, not communicating with others.
Even if his parents could care for him all his life, they still hoped he would one day speak and communicate, understand the world outside.
But for parents of a disabled child, it hurt too much to see him suffer. Little Xingxing found speaking difficult. After trying once or twice to encourage him, he had an emotional outburst. Watching the child cry and wail in frustration, the boss and his wife had felt terrible and never forced him again.
So his progress in language had always been minimal.
But Xia Fengsheng was completely different.
He maintained the exact same cool-guy attitude.
If you want to talk to me, then you have to open your mouth and speak first. Whether I answer you depends on my mood.
When Xia Fengsheng had first started working here, he was always in the little courtyard peeling potatoes while Little Xingxing sat on a stool next to him watching.
At night, the courtyard was full of the sound of Xia Fengsheng scraping potatoes—shh shh shh.
Maybe because he spent so much time beside him, Little Xingxing gradually became dependent on him.
Yet Xia Fengsheng had never once paid him any attention. Most people who saw Little Xingxing would kindly go over and talk to him, taking care of this poor autistic child.
But Xia Fengsheng wasn’t like that.
He had no extra love to spare. He felt there was no one in the world more miserable than himself.
If he had money, then sure, he too would wave a hand and donate here, build schools there—instead of standing here peeling potatoes.
He peeled potatoes for three full months without saying a single word to Little Xingxing.
Until in the end, he forced Little Xingxing to squeeze out one word:
“Sp… speak…”
Meaning, he wanted Xia Fengsheng to talk to him.
Even autism couldn’t stand cold violence forever.
Qiu Xueyang looked over. “Bullying our Little Xingxing into talking again, huh?”
Xia Fengsheng always treated Little Xingxing with fairness and consistency. If you wanted to communicate with me, you had to speak. If you did something wrong, I wouldn’t indulge you.
Actually, Qiu Xueyang thought Xia Fengsheng was very good.
On the surface he looked like he couldn’t be bothered with Little Xingxing, but every one of his actions was helping Little Xingxing build better life habits and improve his speech.
He liked Little Xingxing too. When payday came, he’d take out a bit of his wages to buy Little Xingxing drawing paper and crayons.
Once, when taking out the trash, no one knew why Little Xingxing had followed him. One moment no one was looking, and the next the child had gone headfirst straight into the garbage bin. It was full of dirty sludge and foul water, but Xia Fengsheng hadn’t shown even the slightest disgust. He just hauled him right back out. Even though the filthy water and stinking trash splashed all over him, he didn’t get angry.
Everyone said Xia Fengsheng had a bad temper.
But in her opinion, he had a very good temper—couldn’t be better.
Cold outside, warm inside.
It was just that no one believed her when she said so.
The deaf-mute aunt smiled as she watched them, like she was looking at her own children.
Xia Fengsheng noticed her and lifted his hands, gesturing a few signs.
Shi Ye’s expression turned startled.
That was sign language.
The aunt smiled and answered him with a few gestures of her own, her fingers fluttering through the air like butterflies tracing a flight path.
At this workplace, the only people Xia Fengsheng ever spoke to voluntarily were the boss’s wife, Qiu Xueyang, and the deaf-mute aunt.
Shi Ye didn’t know what Xia Fengsheng had signed, but after watching, the aunt gave Little Xingxing a thumbs-up.
Qiu Xueyang guessed, “You told Auntie about Little Xingxing speaking just now?”
Xia Fengsheng nodded. “Mm.”
After that, he carried his bowl and sat down beside Shi Ye.
He was a little warm from working just now, so he didn’t sit too close. Looking at Shi Ye, he asked somewhat awkwardly, “You… are you okay with the food?”
Qiu Xueyang: ?
Why did that sound almost shy?
So even in front of a really handsome guy, a man could get bashful too?
Actually, Xia Fengsheng’s behavior wasn’t obvious. His expression hadn’t changed from usual. It was just that the way he paused while speaking was a little different from normal.
But compared to others, Qiu Xueyang understood him better.
The little courtyard was lit at night by rows of small lights. Shi Ye looked at the way Xia Fengsheng’s lashes fluttered in the yellow light and said, “It’s fine.”
Then good.
Xia Fengsheng lowered his head and started eating his own dinner.
Shi Ye asked, “You know sign language?”
It was the first time he had ever seen someone signing.
Xia Fengsheng gave a quiet “Mm.”
Shi Ye asked, “How did you learn? You knew it since you were little?”
After thinking for a moment, Xia Fengsheng said, “Sort of.”
The original Xia Fengsheng hadn’t known sign language. He only gradually learned it after getting to know Auntie. Most of the time she could only express herself with body language or by writing the few scattered words she knew.
She would never forget that day—the cold-faced child who worked part-time at the barbecue shop had raised his hand and greeted her when she came in.
It was such a simple movement.
And yet in this society, hardly anyone had ever done that for her.
To the outside world, Xia Fengsheng said he had known sign language since childhood and had never specifically learned it. And half a year ago, his former self definitely counted as “childhood” compared to the present him.
When people asked him about sign language, Auntie couldn’t hear them, and she didn’t know that Xia Fengsheng told others he had always known it.
The fact that he had learned sign language for her became a secret belonging only to Xia Fengsheng and Auntie.
Xia Fengsheng always watched Auntie quietly while eating. Normally, even though she couldn’t speak, she took especially good care of him.
When the weather turned cold, she’d remind him to wear more clothes. She had knitted him scarves and sweaters before.
He hadn’t learned sign language for any grand reason.
Xia Fengsheng swallowed the food in his mouth.
It was only because…
she felt like a mother.
After work, Qiu Xueyang took Xia Fengsheng and Shi Ye to buy a mosquito net.
The shop was a cheap little one, and they got a mosquito net for just fifteen yuan.
Once they bought it, Qiu Xueyang said goodbye to the two of them. “I’m heading off first. See you tomorrow.”
With the newly bought mosquito net in hand, Xia Fengsheng walked back toward school with Shi Ye.
Rows of streetlights glowed in the night. After crossing two streets, the school drew closer and closer, and the tension in Shi Ye started building again.
What exactly was going to happen if Xia Fengsheng and he slept together?
He hadn’t even showered yet.
Shi Ye had received a good sex education from an early age. Even if he had no practical experience, he knew what he ought to know.
When two people were together, hygiene was the most important thing.
Shi Ye suddenly shook his head hard.
Who said that sleeping in the same room meant something had to happen? If Xia Fengsheng made any demands, he could just refuse, right?
“Shi Ye.”
Shi Ye immediately put on a don’t-mess-with-me attitude. “Mm?”
If he acted tougher, Xia Fengsheng wouldn’t force him.
Xia Fengsheng stopped at the school gate, looking at the little blades of grass growing between the bricks. “Once the thing is done, I’ll send you home.”
Shi Ye stiffened from head to toe.
What thing?
Why did it need to be done?
What was supposed to happen together?
Wasn’t he asking to sleep together? Why was he sending him home afterward?
Shi Ye felt like his brain was about to explode. He asked directly, “What exactly is going on?”
Xia Fengsheng slowly curled his fingers into his palm and said evenly, “I started boarding at school these past few days. The teachers were afraid I’d cause trouble, so they put me by myself in an empty dorm room.”
Normally a dorm held four students.
But Xia Fengsheng fought too often, so in order to avoid arguments and trouble, they arranged for him to stay alone.
Shi Ye blinked.
He had assumed Xia Fengsheng had just moved into a new environment and didn’t dare sleep alone. The end of his tone rose as he bent down to meet Xia Fengsheng’s eyes, deliberately teasing him. His peach blossom eyes were bright. “What, are you too scared to sleep by yourself?”
At school, it obviously wasn’t the same as at home. At home, even sleeping alone felt safe, because it was where you had grown up, full of security. School was different.
He had thought Xia Fengsheng wanted to do something improper to him.
Who would have expected that Xia Fengsheng was simply afraid to sleep alone in a new place?
Shi Ye scratched his cheek and looked at the swirl of hair on Xia Fengsheng’s crown.
It was actually… kind of cute.
“No.” Xia Fengsheng denied it.
That wasn’t why he wanted Shi Ye to stay with him.
Shi Ye assumed he was just being stubborn and asked on purpose, “If you’re not scared of sleeping alone, then what is it?”
Xia Fengsheng was silent for a long time.
The night around them was very quiet, with only the evening breeze and the sound of cicadas.
“Shi Ye.”
Xia Fengsheng finally spoke.
“I have night blindness. At night I can’t see. Someone took advantage of that and came into my dorm… and kissed my face.”
The smile disappeared from Shi Ye’s face.
.
Room 506 was silent in the middle of the night.
The blankets on Xia Fengsheng’s bed bulged slightly. Because of the direction the room faced, the moon would not be visible from here until later in the night.
At ten o’clock, the room was pitch-black.
The person on the bed lay sleeping quietly, while the clock hanging on the wall ticked forward, click by click.
At around eleven, the doorknob turned slowly and secretly, so softly it was as if whoever it was feared waking the person on the bed.
There was a piece of wire in his hand.
He slipped it into the keyhole and easily pried the lock open.
The door opened.
Then it closed again.
A dark shadow slipped silently into the dorm.
He stood by the door for a moment first, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness in the room. The moonlight was too dim to shine into the dorm, and the night itself concealed evil.
The shadow moved slowly toward Xia Fengsheng’s bed.
There were two sets of bunk beds placed left and right in the room. Xia Fengsheng slept in the upper bunk on the right-hand side.
The shadow climbed the ladder using both hands and feet. During it, there was the sound of excited breathing. Standing halfway up the ladder, he gave a stifled laugh, then suddenly lunged onto the person sleeping on the bed.
He very clearly knew Xia Fengsheng had night blindness and couldn’t see at night, so he reached out to cover Xia Fengsheng’s mouth to keep any sound from escaping into the next room.
“I’m here.”
A disgusting, eager voice sounded in the cool dark night. “You got away from me last time. This time I’m going to kiss you properly.”
This was the second time he had come.
He was more experienced than before.
The first time, Xia Fengsheng had struggled too hard and almost knocked him off the bed. He had only managed to hurriedly kiss Xia Fengsheng on the cheek before running.
This time, he covered Xia Fengsheng’s mouth and nose first. Once Xia Fengsheng couldn’t breathe, he would lose the strength to struggle and his body would go limp. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with the same violent resistance as last time.
Xia Fengsheng couldn’t see, so there was nothing he could do.
And the surveillance cameras in the boys’ dorm had been broken for two years now. Only the cameras on the first and second floors still worked. Even if Xia Fengsheng wanted to track him down afterward, it would be difficult.
Before the person on the bed could react, the shadow hurriedly shoved a hand under the blanket, searching for Xia Fengsheng’s mouth.
“Where exactly do you think you’re putting your hand?”
A low, dangerous voice, gritted through clenched teeth and heavy with fury, rang out in the freezing dark.
The shadow jerked in shock.
That wasn’t Xia Fengsheng’s voice.
He scrambled up from the bed and tried to run, twisting desperately toward the ladder. He had only gotten halfway down when the person on the top bunk threw back the blanket and kicked him down.
The blanket flew aside.
Inside, a phone that had been recording switched on its flashlight. The beam barely lit the inside of the dorm.
Xia Fengsheng was sitting on the lower bunk of the opposite bed. With the light, his aching eyes gradually recovered enough vision, and he could finally make out the shadow’s face.
He also clearly saw the furious, twisted expression on Shi Ye’s face.
It was a kind of emotion Xia Fengsheng had never seen on Shi Ye before.
In Xia Fengsheng’s memory, even when Shi Ye had been forced into dating him, he had never looked this angry.
It was hatred.
A hatred so intense it looked as if he wanted to tear the other person apart piece by piece.
The shadow had fallen from the ladder to the floor. A heart-wrenching pain shot up through his tailbone. He clutched his backside, unable to stop himself from letting out cries of pain, too hurt to stand.
Seeing the person from the bed climb down, he panicked and tried to scramble away, but the tall figure was already in front of him, hauling him up from the floor without another word.
Xia Fengsheng’s original intention had been only to catch the person who had been sneaking into his room to kiss him. Once he caught him, he would deal with him himself.
He hadn’t wanted Shi Ye to get into a fight.
So Xia Fengsheng stood up from the lower bunk and moved to pull Shi Ye back.
But Shi Ye had lost all reason. He had the shadow in a death grip and refused to let go. He punched him straight in the face.
It happened too fast. Xia Fengsheng didn’t even see the motion clearly. Half of the shadow’s face turned dark blue-purple in an instant.
“You bullied him, didn’t you?!”
With bloodshot eyes, Shi Ye glared at the one who had been secretly kissing Xia Fengsheng.
He was also a student.
An ordinary-looking one, with nothing memorable about his face, and not even one meter seventy tall.
And yet because of him—
Xia Fengsheng, who was always cold and self-contained, had gone to Shi Ye for help.
Shi Ye would never forget the pained, humiliated look on Xia Fengsheng’s face back at the school gate.
The boy’s thick black hair had fallen over his eyes. It had clearly been a long time since he’d slept properly. His voice had been pale and weak, and even his usually rosy lips had lost their color.
“If the person holding the flashlight sees light in the room, he won’t come in, and then I won’t be able to catch him. So I want to ask you to help me. I won’t put you in danger. All you have to do is turn on the light when he comes in.”
If Shi Ye stood by the door, then when that person snuck in by touch and didn’t notice someone standing there, the light would come on.
The instant Xia Fengsheng saw his face, he wouldn’t be able to escape.
Xia Fengsheng hadn’t wanted to trouble Shi Ye.
But he had no way to ask anyone else.
The teachers, wanting to avoid trouble, had arranged for him to stay alone in a single dorm room, but…
trouble had still come.
He had never wanted to cause trouble, yet it came anyway.
He had never asked anyone for help before, and he didn’t know who he could ask.
He only had Shi Ye.
With everything, Xia Fengsheng was used to handling it alone. Eating alone. Going to school alone. Paying his tuition alone. He took good care of himself. He could solve all matters, big and small, on his own.
But this time, there had been an exception.
“Once I catch him, I’ll send you home.” Xia Fengsheng’s tone had softened, and the weariness in his expression couldn’t be hidden. “I won’t do anything to you. I promise. The moment I see his face, I’ll send you home.”
There had been helplessness in his black eyes unlike anything Shi Ye had ever seen before.
That Xia Fengsheng—the one who didn’t care what others said, who always moved alone, bright and remote as the moon.
That Xia Fengsheng—cold-eyed, unsmiling, terrible at expressing himself.
And just now, that same person had lowered his head and asked Shi Ye to help him.
He had said that someone was sneaking into his dorm in the middle of the night to kiss him.
He had said that because of his night blindness, he couldn’t see.
The sharper chin. The dark circles beneath his eyes from lack of sleep. The wavering unease in his eyes. Every bit of it.
Shi Ye had never seen Xia Fengsheng like that before.
That Xia Fengsheng who feared nothing, who bowed to no one, had looked at him with pleading eyes—as if he was only one step away from blurting out, I’m scared.
