A Little Monster With A Wife Is Amazing – CH45

Chapter 45: Oh Crap, He Knocked Up His Wife…

He Mengxing froze for a moment, and then he burst out laughing.

“What kind of beastly thing did you do?” He laughed hysterically. “Come on, spill it. Let your bro marvel at it.”

Feng Xun remained silent.

He stared blankly at the ceiling, but his mind couldn’t help but replay what had happened two hours ago—

The scorching air, the racing heartbeat. He had tried so hard to restrain himself, to keep it within reasonable limits, but in the end… he had still given in to impulse and touched him.

By the time he snapped out of it, the youth was already leaning against his chest, his breathing rapid, his frame trembling slightly.

He had never imagined that the boy could make such a devastating sound. A single, soft gasp was enough to send his blood boiling, his veins and arteries throbbing with arousal. The wild fire of desire charged left and right like a rabid dog, nearly plunging him into a total loss of control.

Feng Xun knew he was behaving like a hypocrite with malicious intent—using the banner of “initiation and teaching” to commit the shameless, scandalous acts of a lecher.

Yet after it was over, even though the youth was completely exhausted, collapsing limply against him with his burning cheeks buried in the crook of his neck, panting softly, he still didn’t forget to thank him with a sincere, slightly raspy voice.

“Thank you, wife.”

“Thank you for helping me. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have known what to do.”

“Wife, it’s so good to have you. You’re really so wonderful, the best wife I could ask for.”

……

Feng Xun felt he was an absolute bastard.

How could he take advantage of Little Tang’s pure innocence to do something like that?

An absolute beast.

He Mengxing had no idea what his friend was thinking. He threw out several guesses in a row, but received zero response from the other side.

“…Don’t tell me you actually had a fight with the sister-in-law?” He Mengxing said offhandedly. “You were too much of a beast, so she couldn’t take it and kicked you out of bed?”

Feng Xun knitted his brows. “What a jumbled mess of nonsense.”

He Mengxing: “…”

Damn, I actually guessed right.

“Is that all?!” He Mengxing’s jaw nearly dropped. He had known Feng Xun for so long, yet he had never seen him stress over anything. Oh, searching for that eerie monster he met by chance in that dungeon might count as one, but that wasn’t stress; it was just a manifestation of this guy’s obsessive-compulsive disorder.

“Can’t you just apologize properly?” He Mengxing offered a strategy to his friend. “Just be gentler and show some restraint next time, and it’ll be fine.”

“You seem to know quite a lot?” Feng Xun was surprised. He knew He Mengxing had a crush on someone, but that person already had a boyfriend. He Mengxing had never succeeded and had been single this whole time, just like him.

“I heard it from Brother Hui,” He Mengxing said. “He upset Little Pa like that before and got kicked out of bed to sleep on the floor for a whole week. Later, he showed an excellent attitude in admitting his mistakes and coaxed him for a long time before they reconciled and made it official… Though it looks like Brother Hui got kicked out of the bedroom again last night.”

Feng Xun: “…”

What kind of beasts am I surrounding myself with.

By comparison, Feng Xun felt his offense didn’t seem entirely that severe—not only had he not been kicked out of bed, but the process was reasonably gentle, the other party’s feedback was excellent, and he was even thanked at the end…

No, wait. That still made him a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“There won’t be a next time,” Feng Xun said flatly. “He has absolutely no romantic feelings toward me. I cannot repeatedly offend him.”

“Aren’t the two of you already living together?” He Mengxing was perplexed. “Did he move out?”

“…No, he didn’t.”

“Did he firmly reject you, saying the two of you can only be friends and it’s absolutely impossible to be lovers?”

“…No, not that either.” In fact, the boy called him wife every single day.

“When you acted like a beast, did he cry and make a scene, turning pure, ambiguous romance into an angsty sea of hatred in a split second?”

“…No, he thanked me and said I’m wonderful.”

He Mengxing: “…”

He understood now.

So this guy sent that ring photo last time, got roasted by him for faking it, and this time he took an eight-hundred-mile detour just to subtly show off his relationship?!

As expected of the guy wildly cursed by eerie monsters as the “Bloody Butcher.” When he got ruthless, he wouldn’t even spare his own people.

“Can I file for a workplace injury?” He Mengxing felt deflated. “You guys with partners are constantly playing the pity card just to trigger me.”

Feng Xun considered himself fair and objective: “I’m not.”

“Like hell you aren’t! You’re what’s called ‘boarding the train first and buying the ticket later,'” He Mengxing cut straight to the point, thoroughly disdainful. “Your kind is the most detestable. You’ve already taken the seat, buckled the seatbelt, and slammed the gas straight to eight hundred miles an hour. A whole pack of single dogs is crying from envy, yet you’re still here stressing over whether your partner is willing to buy the ticket?”

Feng Xun: “…”

Feng Xun: “Shouldn’t I stress over it?”

He Mengxing: “Act like a beast a few more times and you won’t stress over it anymore. By then, it’ll be your partner’s turn to stress—stressing over whether to kick a beast like you out the door.”

Feng Xun snorted in derision, deeming this invalid advice. He had already realized his behavior was improper, so he naturally wouldn’t commit another offense. He wasn’t that kind of person.

“How long you want to play tug-of-war is your own business, but as a friend, let me give you a quick warning,” He Mengxing’s voice turned a bit more serious.

“Ordinary humans don’t have that long of a lifespan. Either you cut through the knot quickly and win him over early, telling him about your task-taker identity when the time is right, or you let him go early so he can find a normal person to marry and have kids with, spending an ordinary person’s life. He doesn’t have that much luxury of time to waste with you. Don’t drag things out and end up ruining the rest of his life.”

The call channel fell silent for a long while. Feng Xun lowered his eyes, lightly tracing the ring on his left middle finger.

Which path to choose, and what the answer was, had long been self-evident.

“Mm,” he let out a self-deprecating laugh, murmuring softly.

“I know what to do.”

—

That night, Jian Tang slept exceptionally well.

His exhausted body required ample sleep, and the “Sea Glass Flower” itself possessed a sedative effect. Jian Tang slept all the way until broad daylight. When he woke up, the sun was high in the sky, approaching ten o’clock.

He yawned as he sat up, gave a long stretch, and walked over to the window to draw back the curtains. The brilliant sunlight cascaded over his body, wonderfully warm.

Hehe, long live days off! The feeling of sleeping until I wake up naturally is amazing!

Jian Tang happily enjoyed his sunbath for a moment, when he suddenly realized—his butt didn’t seem to hurt anymore?

He hadn’t felt a single shred of discomfort since waking up, to the point where he had forgotten all about shedding his tail.

Jian Tang cast a glance at the closed bedroom door, drew the curtains shut again, and reverted to his true monster form.

On the crisp, green little vine, his tail section was perfectly intact. The tiny leaves that had gone bare earlier had grown back, looking even fresher, greener, and lusher than before, emitting a faint, refreshing fragrance of grass.

Jian Tang changed back into his human form, using the mirror built into his wardrobe to inspect his back. The bruising on his buttocks had completely vanished, as pale and smooth as before.

I-It actually recovered just like that?

He found it completely unbelievable—the last time he shed his tail, he had nurtured it for a whole week before recovering!

“Wife!” Jian Tang rushed out of his bedroom happily. “Wife! My butt doesn’t hurt anymore! Your ancestral recipe is truly amazing!”

The apartment was perfectly quiet; his wife was not home.

Jian Tang blinked, fishing his phone out from beneath his pillow. Sure enough, his wife had sent him a message an hour ago, saying he was heading to the parking lot to retrieve the car and would return right after.

Before departing, the man had left breakfast out on a heated tray, and it was still warm right now.

Jian Tang finished his breakfast, waiting expectantly at home for his wife to return.

Waiting idly was boring. He thought about it, nestled into the beanbag chair in the living room, and pulled out his phone to learn new knowledge about the human world.

Previously, he had always felt he was a know-it-all regarding humans. While he might not be a master of everything, living a happy, cozy human family life with his human wife would surely be no problem—he held the guidance of his destined book, My Adorable Wife, after all!

…But the book hadn’t mentioned that when your wife massaged you, certain physical changes would occur in your body.

Nor had it mentioned that this kind of occurrence was actually highly normal, and every human male faced it.

And it definitely hadn’t mentioned that allowing your wife to teach and assist you was an act that only your own wife could perform. If anyone else did it, they would be sentenced to death—his wife had told him exactly that yesterday.

So many blind spots in his knowledge, yet his destined book hadn’t dropped a single syllable about them!

Hurry, he needed to cram immediately.

The information on the internet was as vast as an ocean, and Jian Tang had no idea where to start searching. Fortunately, he could create a post to ask. He described yesterday’s situation roughly, expressing his desire to study deeply, hoping some kind souls could provide reference materials.

Once the post was submitted, the response was thunderous. Passionate netizens eagerly recommended links, and when Jian Tang opened them, the comment section was filled with strings of “Top 100 Selected Collections,” “Treasured Reference Compilations,” and “Cloud Drive Address XXX,” with plenty of onlookers tagging “Good people live safe lives.”

Jian Tang was deeply moved.

There are so many kind souls in human society!

He refreshed the thread, planning to start reading from the comment with the highest number of upvotes—

The post suddenly vanished.

Refreshing again, his account had been blasted to pieces.

“???”

He received a private message in his inbox. Clicking it open, it was a notification of a platform violation—

[System detection indicates that your account has engaged in the behavior of “publishing inappropriate information.” The account has now been placed under a thirty-day ban. Please consciously maintain a friendly, civilized, and harmonious online community environment. Thank you for your cooperation.]

Jian Tang was completely dumbfounded.

How… how did it count as inappropriate information?

I just posted a perfectly ordinary request for help!

The little monster, dazed by the iron fist of human platform regulations, felt aggrieved for a moment before picking himself back up.

He hit upon an excellent idea.

If human community platforms wouldn’t work, he could just go to the monster forums!

Although his perfect transformation was a unique excellence in Weiwu Town and the entire City A underground monster circle, looking at the entire eerie world, high-level transformation experts capable of passing for real humans like him were countless.

Not every monster that transformed into a human form wanted to establish a human family, but when it came to the “human body” aspects of transformation, everyone’s research direction aligned. The blind spot in his knowledge might highly likely be someone else’s area of expertise.

Jian Tang returned to his bedroom, opened the system panel, and logged into the monster forums which he hadn’t accessed in a long time.

There were numerous boards on the forum, densely categorized with fine details. Jian Tang used to only browse the local board, but since the local monsters couldn’t resolve this issue, he headed over to the “Human Transformation” specialized board.

Clicking inside, a wall of posts popped up. Floating at the very top was a trending thread—

[It’s over, it’s over. I knocked up my boyfriend. How on earth do I explain it to him!!!]

Jian Tang: “?”

Curious baby Jian Tang clicked inside, seeing that this post had been submitted three days ago, with a massive volume of comments below.

[Did the OP also post a thread last month? The nickname looks really familiar.]

[Yeah, he did. Last time he seemed to be asking what to do if his crush didn’t like men, requesting a tutorial on human female-form transformation on scene.]

[Holy crap? You can pull it off like that? Once transformed, human reproductive organs are highly difficult to fuse back, right? If handled poorly, it’s easy to turn into a hermaphrodite.]

[Hahaha, he definitely failed to fuse it back, otherwise how could his boyfriend happily secure a baby (dog head)]

The original poster cut into the thread to comment—

[Yes, yes, yes, I failed to fuse it back! Right now I have curves, boobs, and a dick, laugh all you want!! But can someone please hurry and help me brainstorm a solution—how the fuck do I explain it to him ahhhhh!! Clearly I was the one being pinned down!! Why am I the one carrying a cub in the end!!!]

The next several pages were filled with [?????] from the onlookers.

Shortly after, a technical big shot stepped out to comment.

[That shouldn’t be possible. Even if you’re an eerie monster capable of making a human male pregnant, the basic laws of reproduction must be followed. If your seed didn’t enter the other party’s body, it’s impossible to make him pregnant.]

[True enough. Did you make a mistake somewhere? Maybe your boyfriend just gained weight from eating.]

The OP continued to comment—

[No! Actually, his stomach isn’t showing yet, but he’s already displaying obvious pregnancy behaviors! He used to be very cold and distant, a top-tier aloof male god who was insanely hard to pursue, but now he’s become super clingy. He has to follow me no matter what I do, and if we don’t see each other for more than thirty minutes, he calls. I even discovered him stealing my clothes to secretly sniff them! Isn’t this exactly the morbid attachment behavior caused by pregnancy??]

The monsters in the comment section began to discuss seriously again.

[Come to think of it, it really is.]

[But it doesn’t make sense. The one being pinned down was the OP, so his seed couldn’t get into his boyfriend’s body. How could he make his boyfriend carry a cub? It should be the other way around.]

[Could it have been ingested through the mouth?]

OP: [Ah… he… he did ingest mine… but I was in human form back then, so what sprayed out was just human seeds. It’s not like a monster seed which has high vitality and can pierce cell walls to swim down on its own.]

The comments on the next few pages bowls instantly erupted.

[Holy crap, holy crap!! Who told you that what sprays out from a human form is a human seed??]

[I thought this was a high-level game, turns out a rookie set up the match. OP, are you a pure blank-slate newbie??]

[I’m speechless. To think you managed to trick yourself in the process of tricking others. Let me give you a word of advice: don’t forget your roots as a monster. You’re an eerie monster, how could you possibly produce a human seed? Your boyfriend carried a cub precisely because he ingested your seed. If you don’t want a second child, pay attention next time!!]

Jian Tang flipped through a few pages. The OP had likely been roasted into a state of self-isolation and never came back out to comment again, so he had no idea how it turned out.

In his heart, Jian Tang silently lit a candle for this unfortunate monster compatriot—

He knew that human males couldn’t carry babies. The OP had knocked up his boyfriend, which truly would be highly difficult to explain. Not only would he fail to continue passing for a human, but he might highly likely get thrashed severely by his furious boyfriend.

At any rate, Jian Tang didn’t dare imagine what kind of tragedy would erupt if he knocked up his own ambition-filled wife—with his wife’s temper, he was genuinely terrifying when he got scary. He might tear him apart on the spot.

Fortunately, this situation wouldn’t happen to him. Having seen someone else’s cautionary tale now, he would definitely pay extra attention and absolutely never let his wife mistakenly ingest his little seeds.

There were quite a few links to instructional reference posts pinned on the forum navigation menu. Jian Tang clicked through them one by one, soon finding what he wanted to see, and began to study and research with rapt attention.

As he read along, his expression turned highly peculiar.

What?

His situation yesterday was actually essentially identical to his main form blooming and producing pods—belonging to a method of human seed-spraying?

Then what he let out yesterday was a human’s little seed?

…Wait.

He suddenly recalled the thread he had just read, his expression suffering a catastrophic shift.

Those weren’t human seeds at all; those were his monster seeds!

Jian Tang frantically recalled the scene back then. He remembered… he remembered that because it had come out far too suddenly, he was entirely defenseless, and his wife hadn’t dodged either, spraying it all over his wife’s hands and body, with some splattering onto his wife’s face.

Because he was too exhausted, Jian Tang had collapsed limply into his embrace at the time, failing to clean it up immediately. It was his wife who handled the cleanup later on.

The ones on his hands and body had been wiped away with wet wipes, but the ones on his face… after his wife wiped them away with his fingers, he suddenly sniffed them, put them into his mouth, and swallowed them.

Swallowed them.

He. Swallowed. Them!

“………………”

It’s over.

This household was about to face an absolute, monumental disaster!!

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