Chapter 27: My wife is going to explode! I’ll have to kneel on a washboard…
Jian Tang sprang up from his seat.
With such force and speed, Fila couldn’t even hold him down, and was forced to release his hand from the youth’s shoulder.
Feng Xun’s face was expressionless. He had stood at the cafe entrance for at least five minutes, taking in every detail of the interaction between Jian Tang and that playboy. During that time, he had even locked eyes with that trashy blond for ten seconds.
Annoying.
He really hated that person.
You could say that if they had met in a supernatural dungeon, he would have instantly sent the other party back to their “reality home”; hesitating for a single second would be a desecration of his title as “Number One Assassin.”
This was also the first time Feng Xun felt the immense trouble brought by the “ordinary life of a normal person”—
When you want to knife someone, you can’t just knife them.
Tsk. Unpleasant.
“S-sir?”
The counter staff facing the main door had a trembling voice. When the man had entered earlier, his expression was so fierce that she didn’t even dare to greet him, quiet as a winter cicada.
Now, seeing his expression becoming more and more terrifying, his gaze increasingly fierce and sharp—as if he could pull out a forty-meter machete at any moment for a bloody purge—she was truly worried this shop would be on the front page of tomorrow’s news.
“Is… is there anything I can help you with?”
The staff member tried to soothe this terrifying customer’s emotions while secretly resting her finger on the “110” (police) emergency button.
Feng Xun ignored the staff member, his gaze fixed on the furthest corner from the door.
Seeing that Jian Tang had finally noticed him, he took a step and walked toward them.
Right now, Jian Tang’s heart was racing with panic.
It wasn’t because his wife saw him with a client—his wife knew he was accompanying a client today, and since they had shared that information, there naturally wouldn’t be any misunderstanding. What he was panicking about was: I absolutely must not let Lord Fila know about my relationship with Feng Xun!
Just now, Duke of Nightmares had specifically asked if he had any human friends, clearly wanting to find a few humans to torment for fun. If he found out he had a human wife, that would be disastrous!
A great demon with this kind of twisted sense of humor wouldn’t have the concept of “thou shalt not covet thy friend’s wife”—not to mention he wasn’t even the other party’s friend, just a temporary coolie dragged in to be a tour guide.
He quickly glanced at Duke of Nightmares, seeing the playful smile and the glint in his eyes, clearly harboring bad intentions. Jian Tang swallowed hard and silently clenched his fists.
He… he had to protect his wife!
He absolutely couldn’t let his frail human wife fall into the clutches of the great supernatural BOSS!
Unfortunately, in front of Duke of Nightmares, Jian Tang couldn’t directly coordinate a script with his wife. He could only place his hopes on their tacit understanding—
“W-what a coincidence.” Jian Tang forced a smile, frantically winking at his wife. “Mr. Feng, why are you here?”
Feng Xun’s footsteps paused.
Mr. Feng?
Mr. Feng.
Mr. Feng!!
The cohabiting spouse certified by the System, in front of that trashy blond, in order to distance himself, actually called him—Mr. Feng!
…Can I really not send this eyesore of a blond straight to hell to reincarnate immediately right now?
Seeing that Feng Xun didn’t respond to his words and kept his gaze firmly fixed on Duke of Nightmares sitting at the table, Jian Tang groaned internally and could only bite the bullet and introduce them.
“This is Fi… cough, Mr. Pei. He is our factory’s big client. The boss asked me to accompany him to look around the downtown area.”
“Hello.” Compared to Feng Xun’s frosty face, Fila’s smile was as warm as a spring breeze. “Are you Little Sweetheart’s friend?”
Little Sweetheart?
Feng Xun immediately looked at Jian Tang, and Jian Tang looked at Fila in astonishment.
Why are you giving me random nicknames again!
Weren’t you calling me Little Candy Bean just a moment ago?
“Little Tang,” Feng Xun finally spoke. “Is this really your company’s client?”
Jian Tang: “…”
Ahhhh, Wife-baby, what are you doing!
I told you to call me “Little Tang” before and you didn’t, why are you suddenly changing it at such a critical moment!
“Oho—” Fila smiled, drawing out his words, his gaze sweeping between the two with interest. “Little Tang… hehe, sounds so affectionate. It seems you two have a pretty good relationship.”
“No.” Jian Tang tried to turn the tide. “Mr. Feng and I are just… just acquaintances. Mr. Pei, please don’t misunderstand.”
Between protecting the “big one” (his life/the boss) or the “small one” (his dignity/relationship), he chose secrecy =.=
Feng Xun: “…”
Very well, the relationship has dropped another notch. He couldn’t even keep the ‘friend’ slot.
Jian Tang looked fearfully at Feng Xun, who had completely switched to his “Terrifying Wife” form, truly suffering in silence: He knew saying that wasn’t good, and his wife would definitely be unhappy, but this was a special situation!
With a big BOSS glaring like a tiger right here, he definitely had to find a way to defuse the external crisis first. As for the internal family contradiction…
Sigh, I’ll just have to work hard to coax my wife when we get home. I wonder if kisses, hugs, and lifting high in the air will work…
“Just acquaintances?” Fila asked Jian Tang with a smile. “How did you meet? You didn’t meet through a blind date, did you?”
This Mr. Feng’s glare was sharp enough to stab someone; any creature with eyes could see what was on his mind.
It seemed only the silly Little Candy Bean didn’t realize it.
Jian Tang: “?”
What does a blind date mean? Is it a human social activity?
“No, just… just met walking on the street,” Jian Tang fabricated wildly, quietly nudging Feng Xun’s arm. “Right, Mr. Feng?”
Fortunately, although his wife’s face was very dark and his expression fierce—as if he could jump up and flip the table at any moment—he ultimately didn’t expose him, just giving a muffled “Mm.”
Jian Tang breathed a sigh of relief and quickly said, “Mr. Feng, are you about to go eat lunch?” He wanted to quickly end this awkward encounter. “You should hurry, don’t delay your afternoon work…”
“Let’s just eat together,” Fila suddenly interrupted, smiling and making a “please” gesture. “I think you look quite agreeable, sir. Perhaps we’ll hit it off. Why don’t we sit down and chat while we eat?”
Jian Tang screamed internally: Ahhhh, reject him, reject him, hurry up and reject him, Wife!
“Sure.” Feng Xun hooked a chair with his toe and sat down unceremoniously, his tone flat. “Since we hit it off, let’s chat.”
Jian Tang: …Wife-baby, have you hit your rebellious phase? Why do you always go against me!
At this time, the staff brought over the order they had just placed. Afraid Fila would think it was too little, Jian Tang had previously ordered coffee and desserts for three. Now that Feng Xun was here, the amount was just right.
“Mr. Feng, eat as you please, don’t be polite,” Fila said with the air of a host. “If it’s not enough, I’ll have Little Sweetheart order more.”
“His name is Little Tang,” Feng Xun said coldly. “Not Little Sweetheart.”
“Little Sweetheart is a term of endearment, proof of our good relationship,” Fila looked at Jian Tang, smiling. “Isn’t that right, Little Tang Sweetheart?”
“…”
Jian Tang was caught between two gazes—one left, one right; one cold, one hot—a real song of ice and fire.
What kind of living hell is this!
“It-it’s just a title, just a title.” He laughed awkwardly, first offering a piece of small cake to his Terrifying Wife, trying hard to appease him. “This is just Mr. Pei’s linguistic habit, it doesn’t mean anything else. Mr. Feng, please don’t overthink it… hehe.”
Then, spreading the favors equally, he offered a cup of coffee to Fila, pleading weakly, “Mr. Pei, please just call me Little Tang… my friends all call me that.”
“I won’t.” Fila pouted arrogantly. “If I call you what everyone else calls you, how boring is that? Calling you something others can’t shows how special you are to me. After all, Little Sweetheart, you’ve worked hard these past two days; I can’t let you accompany me for nothing.”
Feng Xun: “?”
Feng Xun: “Two days? Accompany you?”
“Mm,” Fila said, “I’ve been with Little Tang Sweetheart all day yesterday and today, didn’t you know?”
Suddenly acting as if he had remembered something, the blond man let out a long “Oh” and smiled at Feng Xun.
“Almost forgot, it’s normal that you don’t know, Mr. Feng. After all, you two aren’t close at all, just acquaintances—just acquaintances. How could Little Tang Sweetheart tell you everything.”
Crack. The cake fork in Feng Xun’s hand was crushed.
Jian Tang: “!!!”
The youth quickly replaced Feng Xun’s fork, then quickly grabbed another plate of small cake and shoved it into the gloating Big BOSS’s hand.
“Mr. Pei, this is delicious, try it.”
Yes, hurry up and eat the cake, stuff your mouth, and stop talking nonsense!
If you keep blabbering, my wife is going to explode! I might even have to kneel on a washboard when I go home tonight… Wuwuwu, what sin did I commit to deserve this!
The demon, having fun, naturally wouldn’t stop, and happily pushed the small cake back into Jian Tang’s hand.
“Ah, my hand suddenly hurts so much,” Fila languidly handed the cake fork to the youth. “Little Tang Sweetheart, feed me.”
Jian Tang: “…”
Jian Tang: “Brother, if your hand hurts, let’s go to the hospital.”
Fila narrowed his eyes dangerously. “Are you going to feed me or not?”
“…”
Jian Tang was truly on the verge of tears: I haven’t even fed my Wife-baby yet, and you want me to feed you! You… you’re doing this on purpose to drive a wedge between me and Wife-baby! You detestable demon, what a vicious heart!
…But what else could he do besides feed him?
The other party was the big leader, the Big BOSS, a terrifying World-Lord level existence who could instantly kill him with a single look. A low-level F-rank monster like him didn’t dare resist.
Sigh. The sorrow of a bottom-tier working monster.
Jian Tang dejectedly took the fork and carefully sneaked a glance at Feng Xun.
The man was looking down, eating his cake, as if he hadn’t heard the conversation between Fila and Jian Tang, or perhaps he had heard it but completely refused to acknowledge this pair of jerks, so he pretended not to hear.
Maybe Wife understands my difficulties, so out of sight, out of mind, he’s planning to leave me some dignity…
Jian Tang comforted himself thus, and with a bitter face, used the fork to pick up a piece of small cake and moved it toward the Big BOSS’s mouth.
Fila glanced sideways at the dark-haired man. The other party’s disregard made this audience-less drama lose some of its fun, but he was still in a good mood—watching Little Candy Bean’s conflicted expression was also very amusing.
Although Little Candy Bean was only an F-rank little monster, he was much more interesting than the big monsters in his SS-rank public dungeon. When this trip was over, if Little Candy Bean was willing, he didn’t mind opening a back door, giving him an opportunity to jump classes and keep him by his side from now on.
No, he didn’t even need the other party to be willing; he could just kidnap him. After all, whatever a demon wanted, they just took; when did they ever need permission?
Duke of Nightmares’ mood grew even more joyful. He opened his blood-red lips, preparing to eat the small cake the youth was feeding him.
Just then, the cold-faced man who had been sitting silently next to them suddenly snatched up his cake fork, scooped up an entire piece of matcha cake, and with the speed of lightning, firmly shoved it into the blond man’s mouth.
Jian Tang: “…”
Fila: “…”
The man’s movements were too fast. Forget Fila, a World-Lord, not reacting in time; even Jian Tang, with his excellent dynamic vision, didn’t see it clearly—the other party’s movements were simply too fast!
Fast and precise! Comparable to an assassin striking for a one-hit kill!
Although Fila was a World-Lord, the body he possessed was just an ordinary human. He was instantly choked so hard his eyes rolled back. Adding to that, the scattering matcha powder went down his windpipe, causing him to instantly cough and wheeze, feeling terribly uncomfortable. His previous elegance and composure completely vanished.
Feng Xun slowly withdrew the fork in his hand, unhurriedly picked up a wet wipe, and elegantly wiped his hands.
“Little Tang is young and has never fed anyone before,” he explained slowly and steadily. “I was afraid he wouldn’t do it well and would neglect an important big client like you, so I personally demonstrated for him what the correct feeding method looks like.”
Having said that, he glanced at the dumbstruck youth beside him and smiled lightly.
“Little Tang, did you learn it?”
Jian Tang: “……………………”
Learned it to death, learned it to death.
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