Chapter 18: How can I eat my wife’s soft rice!
When the end-of-shift bell rang, Jian Tang bolted out of the factory gates immediately.
He was familiar with the route, taking the elevator to the surface and catching the bus to Sunset Avenue. Twenty-plus minutes later, he was standing in front of the gate of “Golden Bay Hospital.”
This hospital was the only Grade 3A hospital in the district and was never short of patients. Since it was currently both off-duty time and dinnertime, people were flowing in and out of the hospital incessantly, and the parking lots inside and outside were packed with vehicles.
Jian Tang observed cautiously for a while, put on a mask, and walked through the main gate. He didn’t enter the outpatient building, instead circling the perimeter, while slipping his hand into his pocket to touch the three candies the octopus boss had given him.
They weren’t real candies. They were specialized “stench bombs” made by the trash factory. These stench bombs were specifically designed to target supernatural monsters; humans couldn’t smell them, so they wouldn’t alert the Investigation Bureau, but monsters would recognize the scent instantly—it was disgusting enough to make them vomit up their previous night’s dinner.
Every time the octopus boss suffered a setback at a competitor’s factory, he would angrily have Jian Tang bring these over and toss them at the other party’s doorstep. This act of retaliation was no different from throwing rotten eggs at someone’s door—it didn’t cause much actual damage, but it was incredibly nauseating to the other monsters, forcing them to hide underground, unable to come out. This was what they called “Heavenly Punishment.”
Jian Tang didn’t know the exact location of the entrance to the Jingba Town plane, but the stench bombs had a wide enough dispersal range to blanket the entire hospital. Finding a secluded corner and tossing them would suffice to complete the mission.
He sneaked around to a relatively secluded area near a bike shed, gripped one of the candies in his hand, and squeezed it hard. The tiny candy expanded several times its size, inflating like a tennis ball. Jian Tang’s movements were so fast he was a blur; he violently hurled it into the flowerbed beside the bike shed and took off running.
Rustle— A sudden gust of wind blew in, shaking the grass and flowers in the flowerbed, but Jian Tang didn’t smell the scent of the stench bomb that should have been carried by the wind.
He stopped in confusion, staring at that flowerbed for a long while, his brows slowly furrowing.
His hand in his pocket squeezed another candy, and Jian Tang burst it, hurling it with all his might onto the nearby lawn—
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Several black shadows darted up from the lawn. One of them nimbly caught the stench bomb and, before it could explode, expertly swallowed it whole.
Jian Tang was stunned. Once he realized what was happening, he knew it was bad, turned, and ran.
[He’s there! He’s there!]
[Daring to come to our territory and make trouble! Can’t let him go! Can’t let him go!]
[Catch him! Catch him! Kill him! Kill him!]
Those black shadows were incredibly fast; ordinary eyes could barely capture their tracks. It was only because Jian Tang’s dynamic vision was excellent that he could identify them instantly during their initial encounter—
They were Stinky Moles.
These supernatural creatures lived underground year-round, were timid, liked to stay in groups, and rarely came to the surface. Jian Tang hadn’t expected to encounter them here at all. What he had expected even less was: this gang of Stinky Moles was so incredibly fast! The two fastest ones were almost catching up to his own fleeing speed—were they on stimulants?!
…Wait, they were on stimulants. Did stench bombs count as a health supplement for them??
Jian Tang felt completely numb: It’s over. Not only did I fail to throw the “rotten eggs,” but I also fed the Jingba Town employees until they were full. If the Big Boss finds out, he’s going to chew me out!
He wailed internally, his pace slowing down slightly. The leading two Stinky Moles immediately pounced, baring their sharp, large incisors. Jian Tang dodged to the side. They missed, but they succeeded in blocking his path. After some maneuvering, Jian Tang was ultimately forced into a secluded corner outside the building.
[Cackle, cackle, cackle, caught him! Caught him!]
[Cackle, cackle, cackle, bite him to death! Bite him to death!]
Seeing these Stinky Moles looking so ferocious and malicious, Jian Tang frowned slightly: Are Stinky Moles usually this cruel? And they were far too bold—they were on human territory, yet they dared to show their original forms without even pretending? In his impression, they shouldn’t have been this temperamental…
But now wasn’t the time to correct his stereotypes. Jian Tang squeezed the last candy, and while it was inflating, he threw it as hard as he could into the distance.
[Fragrant! Fragrant!]
[Want to eat! Want to eat!]
While the Stinky Moles swarmed away to fight over the stench bomb, Jian Tang scrambled along the wall of the building, sprinting wildly until he rushed into the outpatient building. Fortunately, though the Stinky Moles were inexplicably crazy, they weren’t yet insane enough to charge into a crowded building. Jian Tang had narrowly escaped disaster.
He gasped for air, avoiding the curious gazes of the people around him, and hurriedly found a quiet corridor, sitting down on a chair in the waiting area. After catching his breath, Jian Tang didn’t feel the relief of having narrowly escaped; the anxiety of mission failure quickly washed over his heart.
Seriously, how did I manage to mess up such a simple task? If he had been a little more careful, a little more cautious, or had run a little faster, or had better eyesight… all three stench bombs should have been successfully deployed.
But he hadn’t even managed such a simple little thing; he truly was a useless little monster. The more Jian Tang reflected, the more anxious he became; the more anxious, the more dejected he felt: he had wasted the factory’s expensive tool, and the stingy Big Boss would definitely be furious—he might even dock his performance pay for this month.
Without the performance pay, after scraping together enough to pay back the loan at the end of the month, there wouldn’t be much left. If it were like before, where “one person is full, the whole family is full,” it wouldn’t matter, but now he had a family to support. He needed to provide his wife with household expenses and pocket money. If he couldn’t come up with it, his wife would definitely be very disappointed. It was even possible his wife might pack his bags and walk out on him someday—who would want to spend their life with a poor, stupid little useless creature?
The more Jian Tang thought, the more depressed he felt, his eyes beginning to leak little “pearls.” Just then, he suddenly heard a familiar voice.
“Jian Tang?”
The youth twitched his ears but didn’t look up, feeling even more melancholic: he was truly hit hard; he was even hallucinating, hearing his wife calling his name…
“Jian Tang.” The familiar voice appeared right above his head, within arm’s reach. “What are you doing here?”
Jian Tang froze, snapping his head up.
“Wife?!”
He stood up in surprise.
A pair of young sisters sitting opposite him looked at the beautiful, slender youth, then at the broad-shouldered, long-legged cool guy standing opposite him. The sisters subconsciously reached out to touch their own ears.
I’m probably going to need to visit an ENT specialist.
How can someone mishear “Husband” as “Wife”?
Feng Xun hadn’t expected to run into Jian Tang here either, and he looked him over.
“Are you sick?”
People who aren’t sick don’t come to the hospital.
—Except for people like himself who had ulterior motives.
“No.” Jian Tang guiltily fabricated an excuse: “I, I came to help my boss pick up a lab report.” He asked Feng Xun in return: “What about you? Why are you here?”
Feng Xun: “…”
Feng Xun: “Helping a colleague pick up a lab report.”
“Oh.” Jian Tang managed a stiff smile. “What a coincidence, to run into each other like this; my wife and I really are destined to be together.”
Feng Xun stared at him for a while, then said out of the blue: “What happened?”
“Hm?”
“When you’re unhappy, you don’t need to force yourself to smile.” Feng Xun asked again, “What happened?”
Jian Tang opened his mouth, but in the end, he couldn’t force a smile any longer. The corners of his mouth, which had been turned up halfway, honestly drooped down.
“I messed up something the boss asked me to do,” he whispered.
“You lost the lab report?”
“Something like that… there was an accident along the way, and, and it got messed up.” Jian Tang lowered his eyes sadly, mumbling: “I feel like I’m really useless. How can I be so stupid? I can’t even get such a small thing right… Sigh.”
Looking at the youth’s wilted appearance, Feng Xun frowned slightly.
He always felt that this person shouldn’t be showing such a sad expression. It didn’t suit him at all.
“Was the accident caused by you?” Feng Xun asked suddenly.
Jian Tang was stunned, then slowly shook his head: “No.”
Before the stench bomb was squeezed, it didn’t emit any smell; the Stinky Moles certainly weren’t drawn by him, as they had been lying in wait in the flowerbed beforehand.
“Did your boss warn you about possible accidents before giving you the task?”
“No.”
“Then it’s not your fault.”
Suddenly, his hair was ruffled. Jian Tang heard the man say in a very firm voice: “You aren’t stupid, and you didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t blame yourself for an unpredictable accident; you’ve already done very well.”
Jian Tang pouted, tears shimmering faintly in his emerald eyes.
“Do you really think so, Wife?”
“Of course.”
“You don’t think I’m stupid, and you don’t think I’m useless?”
“I’ve never thought that.”
“But I haven’t given you a better life.” Jian Tang lowered his head, his voice full of shame and dejection. “It’s really been a grievance for you to be my wife… I haven’t even given you any pocket money until now.”
Feng Xun: “?”
Where did this come from?
“I can give you pocket money,” Feng Xun said seriously. If the source of the other party’s distress was money, this was truly the easiest problem to solve.
“How can that be!” Jian Tang refused immediately. “If I eat my wife’s ‘soft rice’ (live off a woman), I’ll despise myself for the rest of my life!”
“…”
Feng Xun thought for a moment and chose a compromise: “If you have any needs, you can ask me at any time,” he said. “Everyone has low points and difficulties; you don’t have to carry it all on your own. After all, I am…”
—I am the master of the Safe House.
Although the System’s brainwashing was a bit excessive, since the other party was bound to this Safe House, ensuring the other party had a good state of mind and mood, including supplying expenses for daily food, clothing, housing, and transportation, was inherently his responsibility.
Jian Tang automatically completed the sentence in his head—After all, I am your wife.
His pupils shivered violently.
Oh my god.
Is this the legendary—follow the rooster if you marry a rooster, follow the dog if you marry a dog?
His wife, whom he had brought home, not only didn’t despise him but was willing to weather the storms and share the hardships with him. How could he have such a good wife, and yet before, he had actually complained that he wasn’t “cute enough” and muttered to himself that he was “too terrifying”?
Wuwuwu, I really am a beast!
Jian Tang was overwhelmed with both guilt and emotion, various complicated feelings surging within his chest. He suddenly lunged forward, hugging the person in front of him, and shouted excitedly, in a voice loud enough for half the floor to hear.
“You really are my good wife! You’re the best, best wife in the world! Wife, you’re so good!!”
Whoosh—
Feng Xun, who had instantly become the center of everyone’s attention: “…………”
—I got your sentiment, but you don’t have to shout so loudly next time, really.
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