Chapter 180: Considerate Xuanxuan
The little squirrel liked Si Er very much. It was completely relaxed while Si Er stroked and petted it all over.
It would even take the initiative to push its little head into Si Er’s hand for more rubbing, wearing an expression of pure enjoyment.
Statistician A: I’ve never seen it act this fawning before. So it turns out I simply wasn’t worthy.
Noticing that Si Er kept staring at its tail, the squirrel even hugged its own fluffy tail and stuffed it into Si Er’s palm.
Ahhh, this is way too cute! What kind of peerless little angel is this?
Statistician A: Your little angel, my sworn enemy.
The squirrel let out continuous little whimpering sounds under Si Er’s touch, its voice full of pleasure and satisfaction. The sound was so enticing that other statisticians’ soul pets began poking their heads out to look.
Soon, a pink parrot in peach-blossom colors hopped onto Si Er’s shoulder.
“Hello there, junior. My name’s Taotao. What’s your name?”
Si Er was instantly amused. He looked at the parrot and smiled. “My name is Si Er.”
“Si’er?”
Si Er fell silent for a moment.
Why does that sound like a strong Beijing-style ‘erhua’ accent? Is this parrot from Beijing?
He corrected patiently, “Si Er. ‘Si’ as in commonplace, and ‘Er’ as in renowned far and wide.”
“Ohhh!” The parrot nodded its little head repeatedly. “I know those phrases! Your name sounds very famous.”
“Yes, yes.” Si Er nodded along in perfect sync with the pink parrot.
Seeing that identical nodding rhythm, the parrot was deeply moved. It buried its head against Si Er’s shoulder and rubbed shyly.
“Er’er, you’re such a good person.”
Si Er: “……”
Guys, who understands this? I just got handed a ‘good person card’ by a parrot!
[Hmph, how would I understand? You’re already lost in the not-so-beautiful beauty of your new favorite.]
So Si Er used one hand to comfort Guagua, the other to rub the squirrel’s big tail, and turned his head to chat with the pink parrot.
He discovered that the parrot was extremely gossipy. Although it didn’t have Guagua’s natural talent, it still knew quite a lot.
“Er’er, did you know? The dean of our Vermilion Bird Academy is henpecked.”
“Really? Doesn’t seem like it.” Si Er found it hard to believe. “He saved up so much private money. That doesn’t look like something a married man could manage.”
After all, those fire seeds were expensive beyond estimation.
“Oh, that’s because his wife is even richer. She can’t be bothered to manage his money.”
“But he has this stereotype that wives will definitely search for their husbands’ hidden money, so he always hides soul stones in all sorts of strange places.”
“I know, I know!” Guagua raised a paw eagerly to join in. “Under bookshelves, under wardrobes, inside wall cracks, inside floor tiles—even inside his own pillow stuffing!”
“The best one? He even hid some in the latrine!”
“Though they were sealed well and wouldn’t be contaminated by foul air, just imagine fishing that bag of soul stones out…”
“Ugh—”
Si Er, Guagua, the parrot, and the squirrel all gagged together. Too terrifying!
The four deans’ spiritual senses covered the entire Qingyun Plaza. They heard every word of the trio’s conversation, and each of their expressions changed.
The other three deans unconsciously edged farther away from the Vermilion Bird Dean. His red hair, which had just settled down, instantly flared up again.
“What’s with those looks? I haven’t fished the latrine soul stones out yet!”
The Azure Dragon Dean said, “Our academy’s students haven’t gotten first place in a long time. I should go comfort them.”
The White Tiger Dean said, “Our students got second place again. I should go encourage them to keep it up.”
The Black Tortoise Dean said, “Our students got first place for the first time. I must teach them to guard against arrogance and rashness.”
In the blink of an eye, the three deans fled.
Did they think they hadn’t heard? That chubby rabbit had clearly said the Vermilion Bird Dean couldn’t produce even one soul stone in the short term.
He must’ve already dug through the latrine before!
The Vermilion Bird Dean was furious, but then he remembered his academy’s students had taken last place for the first time. He had to go encourage them too, to keep them from losing heart.
Si Er paid no attention to the deans’ movements and asked curiously, “What kind of person is the Vermilion Bird Dean’s wife?”
The pink parrot replied, “A very gentle woman, soft as water.”
“Huh?” Si Er frowned. “Isn’t water and fire incompatible?”
Guagua explained, “She’s the kind of woman who can dump a bucket of cold water over his head when he’s blazing with anger.”
“Oh!” Si Er nodded. “That makes sense.”
The Vermilion Bird Dean: What do you mean that makes sense? What could a little brat like you possibly understand?
“I think the Vermilion Bird Dean doesn’t control his temper very well. When he gets angry, he’s pretty scary.”
The Vermilion Bird Dean: If I’m so scary, why are you still gossiping about me? Where exactly are you afraid?
“Even though water and fire clash, they’re still human. Maybe their attributes counter and complement each other.”
“His wife sounds like his personal fire extinguisher. That’s pretty good.”
“Yes, most of the time she’s a gentle fire extinguisher,” Guagua nodded. “But sometimes she turns into a raging flood, nearly washing away his little flame.”
Si Er was astonished. “What? The Vermilion Bird Dean is just a little flame?”
The Vermilion Bird Dean burned with embarrassment and anger. How could he be just a little flame? He was not little at all!
Guagua continued nodding. “Yep. He’s henpecked.”
“Though intermittently.”
“When his wife is gentle as water, he’s like a firecracker—ignite at the slightest spark.”
“But when she’s raging like a flood, he becomes a trembling little flame, staring at her pitifully and begging her to hit him lightly—just not in the face.”
“As for why she becomes a raging flood? Probably because he angered her.”
Si Er was amazed. “What a terrifying man. Sounds exhausting to deal with. Good thing our Xuanxuan is so worry-free.”
Guagua was puzzled. “How is Xuanxuan worry-free?”
Si Er said, “First of all, Xuanxuan is handsome and cute. Looking at him makes it unnecessary to stay petty. Even if I’m angry, it gets cut in half or more. That’s already very worry-free.”
“You know, getting angry often makes you age faster. Xuanxuan helps me stay less angry, so I can stay handsome for a long time.”
Guagua: ?_?? What is he talking about? Humans are so hard to understand.
“Secondly, Xuanxuan is thoughtful. He never makes unreasonable demands and always cares about my feelings. That reduces most arguments. Very worry-free.”
“Of course, I’m also a good person like that, so the two of us can be worry-free together.”
“Finally, we complement each other. Our attributes are equally rare and equally powerful.”
“We restrain each other and depend on each other.”
“If we stay together long enough under these conditions, we probably won’t be able to do without each other.”
“That’s also worry-free. It greatly reduces the chances of insecurity and overthinking.”
