Chapter 5
Perched on the windowsill, the little hamster looked soft, fluffy, and milky white—a tiny, aggrieved ball of fur.
The night wind blew in powerful gusts, parting his fur first one way, then the other. One second he was flattened like a pancake; the next, he puffed up into an oversized, spherical puffball.
None of this stirred the little hamster. Instead, he stubbornly kept his back turned to the coffee table, resembling a smooth, round pebble enduring the bitter chill—only a much fuzzier version.
After a long while, he finally spat out a bitter “Ptooey!”, ejecting half of a tiny mouse tooth onto the sill.
Yes, the little hamster had been so consumed by righteous fury earlier that he had bitten the jade pendant directly. It was, after all, an ancient immortal’s heirloom, carrying real divine power.
Flipping open a tiny hand mirror, the little hamster inspected his mouth. Seeing that his pearly-white front tooth was noticeably chipped, his nose quivered in self-pity. It would take several whole days for a new tooth to grow back! This ancient relic truly packed a punch.
Still, it would make a fantastic grinding stone for his teeth in the future. If it was hard enough to chip his own formidable teeth, it would undoubtedly work wonders as a bulletproof shield!
However…
“Hmph!” The proud little hamster decided he would settle the score with that ancient immortal the moment his mission was complete. The relic’s bad behavior was clearly the immortal’s fault, so why should a weak, helpless little hamster have to clean up the mess? When the time came, he was definitely going to jump onto that immortal’s head and pluck out his hair!
Behind him, the artifact spirit Kun Tianya danced arrogantly across the table, gloating, “Hah! You insolent little hamster demon, thinking you’re all high and mighty! Even with your tricks, you can’t lay a finger on me!”
“I am your rightful master now,” the hamster said, turning around with a chilling gleam in his eyes. “Did you honestly think I didn’t know?” He flexed his tiny claws at the miniature silhouette projected above the jade.
Kun Tianya’s face turned pale green, then pasty white. “So what if you are? What can you possibly do to me?! I—”
Pounce!
The little hamster leaped forward, his claws flashing in a flurry of scratches. “Did you really think your Mouse Grandpa wouldn’t know how to handle you?”
As an artifact spirit bound to the jade, and with the little hamster as its registered master, Kun Tianya couldn’t escape at all. He was pinned flat against the stone, howling in pain, “Ow! Ow! Ow!”
“I won’t grant you the wide-open authority the original owner did! A lowly servant is just a servant! You’d better behave and obey your little hamster Master!”
“Never! Not in a million years! You can’t kill me anyway, and I will never listen to you!” Scratched red and bleeding from the hamster’s paws, Kun Tianya glared back with pure venom. “Don’t get cocky! I understand the Kuntian Jade far better than you ever will. One day, I’ll lock you out of it completely!”
“You have a point,” the hamster mused, nodding thoughtfully. “Leaving such a latent threat around really isn’t wise.”
The little furball hopped down, bounded in place, and dusted off his paws.
Kun Tianya blinked in confusion as the mouse leaned down and clamped his teeth around the silk cord of the jade pendant once more.
“Wh-what are you doing?” For some reason, a chill ran down the spirit’s spine. An instinctive sense of dread washed over him.
Without giving him a chance to protest, the hamster gripped the pendant tightly in his jaws and leaped straight out the twelfth-floor window!
Kun Tianya’s heart nearly stopped. “What are you doing?! Put me down! Audacious mouse demon, what madness is this?!”
“Silence!” the hamster barked around the cord.
Bound by the master’s command, Kun Tianya’s voice was instantly cut off. His face flushed bright crimson in fury as he clutched his throat, glaring daggers at his captor, but the little hamster didn’t care in the slightest.
Using his innate magic, the little hamster drifted down through the night air as light as a balloon. Holding the jade in his mouth, he touched down smoothly, landing coolly on one knee with a front paw planted firmly on the ground. His eyes narrowed with sharp focus.
Very good. Today, the little hamster is once again exceptionally cool.
Then, he locked eyes with a large calico cat out for an evening stroll…
The silence grew profoundly awkward.
Perhaps the calico hadn’t expected a gourmet midnight snack to fall directly from the heavens.
The little hamster scooped up the pendant in his jaws, spun around on his heels, and sprinted for dear life!
“Squeak, squeak, squeak!” Help! A cat is going to eat the little hamster!
The plump calico twitched its tail. It had just eaten and didn’t particularly care for post-dinner exercise, but watching the squealing little morsel scurry away… it licked its chops, dug its hind legs into the pavement, and pounced: “Meow!”
“Squeak, squeak, squeak!!!” HELP!
The little hamster ran with everything he had, his four stubby legs blurring into furious wheels. It wasn’t that he couldn’t fight; running from cats was simply pure hamster instinct! He licked his snout, telling himself there was zero shame in a mouse demon retreating from a feline predator. None at all!
The chubby calico trotted effortlessly behind him. But just as it closed the gap, the little hamster darted sideways and vanished!
He had slipped behind an ornamental landscape boulder!
Standing on his hind legs, pressed flat against the cold stone, the hamster panted in tiny, shallow gasps. The cat strolled around the rock, purring softly as it sniffed first to the left, then to the right.
The little hamster trembled from head to tail. He tilted his fluffy head back and swallowed hard—he could literally see long feline whiskers poking over the edge of the rock right above him!
In the future, I swear I’m going to tame a mount that eats cats for breakfast! Then I’ll never have to run again!
The cat’s brown nose dipped right over the stone, sniffing the air directly above him. The little hamster clamped both paws over his snout, terrified his pounding heartbeat would give him away.
“Dahua! What are you sniffing at? Time for bed, I’m locking up!” an elderly man’s voice called out from an open ground-floor window nearby.
“Meow~” The calico flicked its tail reluctantly. Licking its lips in regret, it turned and padded away into the night.
Only then did the little hamster let out a long, shuddering breath, slumping weakly against the rock.
“Squeak…” That nearly cost me my little life.
After gathering his courage, he trekked across the landscape, hauling the heavy jade pendant toward a secluded grassy mound behind the residential complex. He tossed the stone onto the dirt with a thud.
“Strike it down!” the hamster squeaked, planting his paws boldly on his hips and looking up at the sky. “Otherwise, return the treasures from my two personal dimensions right this second!”
The dark clouds above began to swirl ominously, crackling with hidden energy.
Kun Tianya phased out of the jade, sneering, “Who do you think you are? Why would the Heavenly Dao listen to a puny hamster like you?”
Before the words had fully left his mouth, an arm-thick bolt of divine lightning crashed down from the sky, striking the spirit dead center!
CRACK!
Kun Tianya collapsed onto the stone, bleeding, charred, and deathly pale. “H-how is this possible?!”
The fluffy little hamster looked down at him with immense righteousness. “You betrayed your master’s trust! You hoarded divine grain during famine, acting out of sheer greed, selfishness, and arrogance! If you hadn’t conspired with Xu Wanwan to murder the original owner, crown yourselves rulers over the suffering masses, and drive this realm toward total ruin, I wouldn’t have been summoned here at all! As an artifact spirit, do you still fail to comprehend the laws of heavenly retribution?!”
A dramatic gust of wind whipped past, blowing back the fur on the hamster’s forehead to reveal a glowing silver crescent-moon mark.
Spitting out a mouthful of blood and trembling from the residual lightning, the spirit looked at him in sheer disbelief. “Are… are you the reincarnation of Judge Bao?!”
“Oh, no,” the hamster said, reaching up to peel the sticker off his forehead to show him. “I just swiped this off that fat calico earlier.”
The cat had apparently spent the afternoon playing with neighborhood children and was covered in cute stickers. The little hamster had managed to peel off a shiny moon sticker right in the middle of his daring escape!
Kun Tianya coughed up another spray of spiritual essence, his ethereal form fading until it was almost translucent.
“You… you…” He slumped weakly against the jade slab. “I haven’t even done any of those things in this timeline! You can’t execute me for crimes I haven’t committed!”
“If you didn’t already harbor those treacherous thoughts, the original owner wouldn’t have died in the first place,” the hamster sneered coldly.
Before he could lecture him further, a bright, multicolored glow pulsed from the hamster’s left cheek. A cheerful ringtone chimed through the night air: “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!”
The little hamster reached into his cheek pouch and pulled out his smartphone. “Hello? Is this the supermarket courier? Thank you so much! Please just leave the bags by my door. I’m taking a walk downstairs in the courtyard and will be right up!”
Hanging up, he looked down at the battered spirit with an airy smirk. “I have to pick up my groceries now. Feel free to stay here and enjoy the rest of your lightning strikes~”
With that, he turned around, gave his plump behind a cheeky wiggle at Kun Tianya, and happily scampered back toward the building.
It was past nine in the evening, and the courtyard was quiet.
Reaching the building’s entrance, the little hamster saw the delivery driver walking out. With a quick whoosh, the hamster darted through the closing door. His apartment was on the twelfth floor, and there was no way he was tackling that many flights of stairs on stubby legs.
Fortunately, hamsters were exceptional climbers. Scampering up the smooth metal frame, he pressed the elevator call button, hopped into the cab, and tucked himself politely into the corner.
Just as the sliding doors were about to shut, a young man sprinted toward the lift, struggling to hold the leash of an energetic husky.
“Wait, hold the door!”
The husky charged in nose-first, using its snout to wedge the doors open!
Startled, the little hamster pressed himself even tighter against the wall.
Stepping inside, the young man was surprised to find the elevator empty—until his eyes landed on a trembling, milk-tea-colored bottom sticking out of the corner.
“Huh? What’s this?” The young man was quite handsome. He crouched down and gently prodded the plump little rear. “Where did you come from, little guy?”
“Squeak, squeak, squeak!” Why am I so unlucky tonight?!
Downstairs he had run into a killer calico, and upstairs he was cornered by a lunatic husky!
To make matters worse, the massive dog lowered its giant snout and tried to lick him!
“Squeak, squeak!” Gross! It’s licking me! Stop!
The hamster shoved desperately against the dog’s wet nose with both front paws, but a tiny ball of fluff was no match for a hyperactive working breed.
The husky had completely lost its mind at the sight of a hamster. Seeing the tiny creature stomp its feet and squeak furiously only fired up the dog even more. Panting with excitement, it lunged forward—
THUD!
The clumsy dog misjudged the distance and smashed its snout straight into the metal corner of the cab.
The little hamster landed on his bottom with a soft plop, sticking his tongue out in mockery. “Nyah, nyah, nyah!”
So dumb! Huskies really don’t have a single brain cell!
Dazed but undeterred, the husky launched a surprise sneak attack! With one massive sweep of its tongue, it gave the little hamster’s entire head a soaking, slimy bath!
Thankfully, the young man grabbed the dog by the scruff of its neck and dragged it back. “Down, boy! Whose pet are you, little furball?”
Soaked in dog saliva, his fur matted flat against his skull, the little hamster huddled in the corner and sniffled miserably.
If I had known this idiot dog was waiting here, I would have taken the stairs! He glared at the panting husky and waved his tiny paws in fierce protest.
“Which floor do you belong to?” the young man asked thoughtfully, gently scooping the drenched hamster onto his palm and walking over to the control panel. “Second floor? Third floor?”
Standing on his hind tiptoes in the man’s hand, the hamster raised a pink front paw and slammed it onto the button for floor 12 with all his might.
Smack!
The young man let out a sudden snort of laughter.
Pulling a tissue from his pocket, he carefully dabbed away the slobber his silly dog had left on the little creature. Right on cue, the elevator chimed and the doors slid open on the twelfth floor.
He set the little hamster down gently on the carpet. “Don’t go wandering off again, little guy. If Uncle Zhang’s calico spots you out there, you won’t stand a chance.”
“Squeak, squeak, squeak!” I already ran into it, you hear me?!
The hamster shook his paws at the closing elevator doors, then spun around and launched himself enthusiastically at the three giant supermarket bags sitting outside his apartment.
“Hmph! Only mountains and mountains of food can heal my wounded soul now…”
Squatting by the mat, he began unbagging the loot. Just as he pulled out the first item, his cheek pouch flashed with colorful lights again: “Ding-ding-dong, ding-ding-dong!”
Wrestling a ten-kilogram sack of rice toward the door with one paw, he pulled out his phone with the other. “Hello, Uncle?”
“Little Yuan? Are you all right?” Yu Yuanzhou’s deep voice sounded through the receiver, heavy with exhaustion. Having spent the entire day wrapping up business meetings, he rubbed his temples, his tone laced with protective fury and guilt. “I never imagined that scoundrel would have the audacity to show his face at your door! Don’t worry, Uncle will personally settle the score with them when I get back tomorrow!”
“I’m totally fine, Uncle, really. Big Sister said their whole family is looking at more than ten years in prison anyway,” the hamster answered, waving a paw dismissively in the air.
“Hmph, a decade is letting them off easy,” Yu Yuanzhou grumbled. Then, shifting topics, he sounded genuinely bewildered. “Speaking of your sister… Little Yuan, why did she suddenly announce that she wants to buy a massive supermarket? She just called me about it, completely adamant, insisting that we finalize the acquisition tomorrow morning. Do you have any idea what she’s up to?”
“Huh???”
The shock was so immense that the little hamster literally leaped an entire meter into the air.
His sister was terrifyingly efficient! Here he was, secretly hoarding snacks one bag at a time, and she was already moving to buy out an entire supermarket?!
