Chapter 15
“Nonsense!”
Yu Yuanzhou was so furious that he grabbed a wooden yardstick from the corner and chased after his daughter, threatening to give her a beating. “Spouting such filth in front of your little brother—I’ll break your legs!”
“You’re a man yourself, Dad! Don’t you know how shameless those rich bachelors can be?” Yu Tianwei shouted back, skipping and dodging his swings. “Besides, look at how handsome and adorable our Little Yuan is growing up to be!”
“Others might be scoundrels, but Mu Feiyi isn’t that kind of person!” Yu Yuanzhou bellowed, his voice turning hoarse. “His grandfather and yours were sworn childhood brothers. When your grandfather passed away, if Old Master Mu hadn’t looked out for us, an inexperienced greenhorn like me would never have kept the Yu family business afloat!”
“Fine, fine. If you say he’s a saint, then he’s a saint.” Tianwei stopped dodging and glanced down at the little hamster’s plush face. “I really didn’t expect that useless deadbeat Pang Liangcai to have such good genes.”
“Good genes? If he wasn’t handsome, would your aunt have treasured him so much? Would your maternal grandfather ever have accepted him as a live-in son-in-law? Back in his college days, Pang Liangcai was quite the charming pretty boy.” Yu Yuanzhou spat on the floor in disgust at the memory.
He reached out, grabbed his foolish daughter’s ear, and dragged her toward the study. Before heading upstairs, he turned to gently pat the little hamster perched on the landing railing. “Be a good boy, Little Yuan. Uncle packed all your gear downstairs. Just sweep it straight into your storage space. Keep the left side for emergency reserves and the right side for immediate use.”
“Oh, okay.” The little hamster nodded blankly. Taking a piece of coconut shortbread from his uncle with both front paws, he hugged it to his chest, watching his uncle and sister walk up the stairs.
Sitting on the second-floor banister, the little hamster peeked over the edge down to the ground floor, then inspected the smooth, polished handrail beneath his paws. He took a tiny bite of the shortbread. It was wonderfully crisp, buttery, and fragrant with shredded coconut.
Unfortunately, the bite mark left behind was completely uneven. The little hamster’s chipped front tooth hadn’t fully grown back yet.
Sigh. Next time, he wouldn’t be so impulsive. Feeling terribly wronged, the little hamster gently touched his chipped tooth with a pink claw. He pulled out his pocket mirror for another look; an incomplete tooth made for an incomplete little hamster.
The milk-tea-colored creature slipped the mirror back into his cheek pouch. Clutching the biscuit with both paws, he mapped out his itinerary for tomorrow.
He needed to prepare for the scorching heatwave of the Seven Catastrophes.
“Squeak, squeak!” Tomorrow, I’m hoarding drinks! The little hamster is buying out all the beverages!
In his hurry, he crammed the rest of the biscuit into his mouth without storing it in his pouch, causing his left cheek to puff out like a dumpling. He tiptoed toward the top of the stairs, sat down squarely on the wooden banister, and pushed off.
Whoosh—!
Down he went, sliding gracefully along the polished wood!
Because the little hamster was practically weightless, and his uncle had designed the handrail with sweeping, decorative waves, the banister acted like an amusement park roller coaster. Up and down he zoomed, until the final upward curve launched him into the air!
Whoosh—!
“Squeak, squeak, squeak?!” Wait… isn’t the little hamster flying a bit too high?!
Yu Yuanzhou had just opened the door to the third-floor study, intending to call Little Yuan inside, when he saw a milk-tea-colored ball of fluff sail gracefully past his nose with wide, innocent eyes.
“Unbelievable.” Yu Yuanzhou dragged a hand down his face. Sure enough, whenever a kid went quiet, he was either cooking up a scheme or causing trouble.
“Yu Xiaoyuan!!”
Yu Yuanzhou bolted down the stairs in a panic. “Did you hurt yourself? Are you broken anywhere? Should Uncle take you to an animal hospital right now?!”
“Squeak, squeak, squeak.” No need, no need!
Sitting on the plush carpet, the little hamster shook his dizzy head. He pushed up onto all fours and gave his plump behind an energetic wiggle.
Rubbing his cheeks excitedly with his front paws, he chirped, “Uncle, that was amazing! It was so much fun!”
Without another word, he stuck his little bottom into the air and dashed back toward the stairs. “The little hamster wants to fly again!”
“Fly your head!” Yu Yuanzhou leaned down, caught the hamster by the scruff of his neck, and carried him upstairs. “Yu Xiaoyuan, just how old are you supposed to be, huh?!”
Having his fun cut short, the grumpy little hamster crossed his front paws over his chest and let out a string of huffy squeaks.
Yu Yuanzhou lifted the creature to eye level and gave his soft belly a gentle flick. “Growing cheekier by the minute, aren’t you?”
In a fit of petty revenge, the hamster puffed up his cheeks and began spitting sunflower seeds like a machine gun—p-t-t-t-t!
“You little rascal! How many seeds did you pack into your mouth?! Aren’t you afraid of catching a sore throat?!”
“Squeak, squeak, squeak!” Mind your own business!
“That’s it—I’m going downstairs to Uncle Zhang’s place and borrowing his calico cat!”
“Squeak, squeak, squeak!” Bring it on! The little hamster will stage an epic tiger fight for you right here!
The next morning, shortly after six, Yu Xiaoyuan transformed into his human self and drove out in his SUV, cruising through the quiet streets. His mission today was to hunt down a feast of warm, comforting breakfast foods.
He craved sticky rice rolls, oversized scallion pancakes, golden fried dough sticks, crispy sweet sugar cakes, hot noodles with pickled greens, sweet fried sesame balls, flaky street-style egg crepes with extra eggs, delicate steamed dumplings, and steaming bowls of oversized wontons.
Once the world fell apart, these humble, comforting delicacies would vanish forever. The little hamster was determined to hoard as much as his dimensions could hold.
He pulled up to a local favorite and ordered three master portions of savory spare-rib rice cakes. While waiting for the meat to simmer, he slipped into the neighboring convenience store and bought out every single pineapple bun and loaf of sliced milk bread on the shelves.
He loved sweet bread, but he also grabbed a stack of prepared bento boxes. Their compact, square packaging stacked perfectly to save space, and each container offered a balanced meal of rice, stir-fried vegetables, and meat.
Yu Xiaoyuan waited patiently while the store clerk microwaved every single box. The moment he carried them back to his vehicle, he transferred them straight into his time-frozen spatial pouch. Whenever his uncle and sister wanted a hot meal during the apocalypse, the bentos would still be piping hot.
“Right, I should stock up on dehydrated vegetables too,” he muttered, returning to the rice cake stall.
Pulling out his phone, he began placing online wholesale orders for dried produce: crisp cucumber chips, dehydrated eggplant strips, dried cauliflower florets, dried lettuce stem slices, preserved mustard greens, and ten pounds of his beloved dehydrated spinach.
Whatever the specialty food app had in stock, he ordered in ten-pound increments, switching to another agricultural supplier the moment one shop’s inventory ran dry. Modern delivery apps were truly an incredible human invention.
He made a mental note to buy dried wakame, braided kelp knots, salted kombu, dried shrimp, tiny dried krill, salted river fish, dried winter bamboo shoots, cured ham, and cured bacon. In the post-apocalyptic era, preserving dietary iodine and salt would be vital.
“Boss lady, are my spare-rib rice cakes ready yet?” he asked, looking up from his phone screen.
“Almost ready, young man! Just another minute,” the stall owner replied with an apologetic smile, taking in the remarkably handsome customer before her. “My husband took our secondary cart over to Junhuai Road today. There’s a massive regional dried-goods trade fair happening there, and the foot traffic is insane! Crowds showed up at dawn, and folks usually stay around for lunch. He’s swamped with customers, which leaves me a bit shorthanded here.”
“A dried-goods fair?” Yu Xiaoyuan’s eyes sparkled. “Boss lady, could you give me the exact address? I’d love to check it out.”
“Sure thing! It’s at No. 335 Junhuai Road. You can’t miss it—the street is packed shoulder-to-shoulder! Today is the final day of the expo, so the merchants are slashing prices to clear stock. My old man picked up tender dried bamboo shoots yesterday, along with huge shiitake mushrooms and black wood-ear mushrooms that rehydrate into thick, meaty chunks.”
The more she described it, the wider his smile grew. Dehydrated pantry staples were a hoarder’s dream—they took up minimal space in storage, yet expanded into massive, hearty meals with a splash of warm water.
He had no intention of canceling the online orders he had just placed. In the wasteland, extra food was never a waste.
After collecting his steaming containers of spare-rib rice cakes, Yu Xiaoyuan thanked the vendor and drove straight toward No. 335 Junhuai Road.
Just as the woman had promised, the street was already flooded with dense crowds, even though it was a weekday morning. Had it been a weekend, the place would have been impassable.
Yu Xiaoyuan parked his car nearby and plunged straight into the bustling stalls.
Bargaining was not his strong suit, so he adopted a simple strategy: trail closely behind experienced middle-aged aunties and uncles. Whenever they successfully hammered down a vendor’s price, he would swoop in and buy out the entire crate.
Since it was the fair’s final day, merchants were eager to liquidate their remaining inventory.
Ahead of him, a sharp-eyed auntie was inspecting a half-empty crate of black wood-ear mushrooms. “A hundred yuan? Are you out of your mind? Fifty!”
“Auntie, these are premium mountain-bowl fungus! The absolute lowest I can do is seventy-six.”
“Sixty, then!”
“Sixty-five, and that’s my final offer!”
“Sold!”
Yu Xiaoyuan immediately squeezed his head in. “How much of this do you have left?”
“Once I bag this half-pound for the lady, I’ve got one full unopened master crate left in the back,” the vendor chuckled. “What, you want the whole thing, young man?”
“Yes, please!” Yu Xiaoyuan nodded enthusiastically. “Your price is great.”
“See? You have to give us a volume discount now!” The auntie chimed in, thrilled by the sudden backup. “Sixty yuan flat! We’re cleaning you out!”
“The young man is buying out my stock; you’re just taking half a pound,” the merchant grumbled, looking thoroughly exasperated.
Yu Xiaoyuan looked across the adjacent shelves, his eyes sweeping over bags of dried longans, red jujubes, premium wild mushrooms, dried winter blossoms, and rich flower shiitakes. Not knowing their market rates, he gently tugged the sleeve of the bargaining expert beside him.
“Auntie, could you help me negotiate the prices for the rest of these? I’ll cover your wood-ear mushrooms for you.”
“Oh, what a clever boy!” The auntie beamed, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs-up. “Leave it to me! Your auntie won’t let you get ripped off by a single cent.”
The vendor’s cheerful smile instantly crumbled. “You little rascal… you’re using a cheat code!”
The stall displayed twelve distinct varieties of wild dried mushrooms.
Yu Xiaoyuan, who had more money than he could spend, bought every single variety by the crate. Whenever a crate ran short, the merchant enthusiastically coordinated with his neighboring village partner to pull fresh stock from their truck.
Best of all, the organizers had arranged a same-day local courier hub right outside the venue. Yu Xiaoyuan paid at the stall, and the workers immediately taped up the crates and processed the shipping labels to his villa.
Each wooden shipping crate weighed twenty-five kilograms, tightly banded and sealed.
Yu Xiaoyuan pointed across the inventory. “Give me two crates of shiitake mushrooms and two of black wood-ear. I love stir-fried tea tree mushrooms, so let’s do two crates of those as well.” He licked his lips eagerly. “One crate each of everything else will do.”
He loaded up on porcini, golden chanterelles, velvet antler mushrooms, lion’s mane, dried cordyceps blossoms, slippery jacks, snowy white tremella fungus, and half a dozen varieties the little hamster didn’t even recognize.
The vendor promised that simply sautéing them in oil or tossing a handful into a pot of simmering chicken stew created an incredible broth, so Yu Xiaoyuan took them all.
Delighted with her prize, the auntie accepted two complimentary pounds of mixed mushrooms and strolled away in high spirits. Her relentless haggling had saved the young man a considerable fortune. He had offered to gift her an entire crate, but she firmly declined, explaining that hoarding too much at home would only attract pantry moths and go stale.
The little hamster had wanted to urge people to stock up more, but… sigh, forget it.
As the vendor finalized the courier manifests, he grabbed two large promotional sample sacks from beneath the table and pushed them into the boy’s arms. “Here, take these as a thank-you gift. My stall is completely stripped bare, so this is all I have left.”
“Thank you, Uncle!” Yu Xiaoyuan stumbled slightly under the weight, wrapping his arms around the two heavy three-pound sacks of roasted peanuts and jumbo sunflower seeds. “I love peanuts the most!”
The roasted peanuts were massive, plump, and finished with a faint, irresistible aroma of creamy butter—gourmet buttered peanuts! The little hamster adored them. He wished he could crack one open right this second.
“Is that so? If you want bulk tree nuts, head toward the eastern aisle,” the vendor offered, pointing toward the crowded center pavilion. “My cousin runs that stall over there. He’ll give you wholesale rates if you drop my name. His roasted nuts are wonderfully fragrant—guaranteed fresh!”
Pine nuts… The little hamster swallowed hard. Hazelnuts, walnuts, and buttery pine nuts were waiting for him!
Yet the aisles were jammed with shoppers, and both his arms were occupied by two cumbersome three-pound sacks of nuts that he refused to put down.
He was trapped in an agonizing dilemma.
Should he trek back to the distant parking lot to dump the bags into his car? But the walk was far, and he couldn’t bear to waste precious shopping time. He wanted nothing more than to dive headfirst into a sack of pine nuts and roll around in pure bliss!
Standing on his tiptoes to scan the sea of heads, his eyes suddenly caught a familiar figure.
It was him!
In that brief, frantic moment, the little hamster’s already modest intellect took an absolute nosedive. His smooth little brain became so completely frictionless you could have skated across it!
Without a single rational thought, Yu Xiaoyuan dashed forward, thrust both giant sacks of peanuts and sunflower seeds straight into the man’s chest, and blurted out in a rush:
“You—hold these for me for a minute! I’m going to grab some pine nuts and hazelnuts. I’ll be right back!”
“Wait, what?”
Caught completely off guard, Mu Feiyi found himself clutching a bulky sack in each arm. He stood frozen on the sidewalk, watching the slender young man dart off into the dense crowd, vanishing around a corner before he could even blink.
The formidable Second Young Master Mu stared down at his armful of roasted nuts, a faint, incredulous laugh escaping his lips.
“This kid from the Yu family…”
Yesterday the boy had presented him with a single roasted peanut. Today, he had dumped six pounds of bulk seeds directly into his arms.
Hold them?
Mu Feiyi gave a dry, mocking chuckle. The boy had handed them over of his own free will; did he honestly expect them back?
Turning sideways, Mu Feiyi tossed the heavy sack of sunflower seeds to his personal assistant. “Give this one back to him when he returns.”
Cradling the three-pound bag of buttered peanuts under his arm, he turned on his heel and strode smoothly toward his car.
