Chapter 70
At five o’clock, the sky was only beginning to brighten.
The hazy morning light filtered through the gauzy curtains stirred by the wind, leaving a translucent path of light in the air. The room was utterly quiet. The person sitting on the sofa with his knees hugged to his chest had sunk deep into the soft cushions.
He was still asleep. His brows were tightly drawn together, fine beads of sweat glimmered at his temples, and he was trapped in a nightmare. His consciousness sank and rose with the dream, struggling but unable to break free.
Five minutes later, his numbed legs twitched with a spasm. Lin Huaixi’s eyes flew open, his chest heaving violently.
His vision swayed twice. Sleepy and dazed, he stared at the unfamiliar room. It took a full half-minute before the memories from before he fell asleep returned to him.
His eyes went round as saucers. He shot upright and raked his fingers through his hair.
No, no, no, no, no. This absolutely could not be real!
There was no way forward and no way back. No matter how he turned it over in his mind, Lin Huaixi could not come up with a reasonable explanation for what had happened last night. In the end, he could only accept reality.
At the same time, Qi Wang’s low, hoarse voice echoed in his ears again.
“Xixi, I like you.”
It felt as if the words were pressed right against him. The warm current of breath seemed to brush the tips of his ears, tingling and numb, like an electric charge that spread all the way to his heart and made his chest tremble.
His childhood sweetheart liked him.
The instant that thought surfaced in his mind, all the blood in his body rushed upward. Lin Huaixi’s face swelled hot and red, turning into a ripe apple.
His brain had overheated and stopped functioning. He could only press the back of his hand to his face again and again, trying to cool himself down.
Calm down. So what if Qi Wang liked him? It was not like that was some earth-shattering disaster.
Taking a deep breath, Lin Huaixi flopped back onto the sofa and curled up into a ball with his arms around his knees, burying his burning face.
Last night, Qi Wang had pinned him down like that and even kissed his fingers. Lin Huaixi had thought Qi Wang was going to do something more. Instead, after confessing, Qi Wang had suddenly gone limp and collapsed to the side, then, under the numbing influence of alcohol, fallen into a deep sleep.
Lin Huaixi had not dared stay in that room for even one more second. He had rushed out at once and stood by the window, letting the wind blow over him for half an hour before he could feel his body again. But the heat on his face never really went away.
At the time, his mind had turned into a pot of paste. He had been completely incapable of thinking rationally and only wanted to run. Yet he could not stop worrying about Qi Wang either, so he had paced foolishly outside the door several times before finally deciding to stay. He had sat down on the sofa, intending to think this through properly, and then somehow fallen asleep.
Was he a pig? How could he be so carefree? Something this important had happened, and he had still managed to fall asleep!
Lin Huaixi despised himself for a few seconds. His eyes burned with shame, a watery sheen forming in them, brighter than scattered diamonds.
A few seconds later, he sprang up again, his body stiff as a board, pacing nervously around the room. But he did not dare go anywhere near Qi Wang’s room, as if there were a monster inside.
A monster had taken over his childhood sweetheart’s body. That had to be the only reason Qi Wang would say something like that.
Yes, that had to be it.
Qi Wang had been drunk last night. He had not been in his right mind, so those words definitely could not have been what he truly meant. Maybe Qi Wang had even mistaken him for someone else and confessed to the wrong person.
And as for “Xixi,” that had to be a coincidence. There was no way he was the only person in the world with those two syllables in his name.
Right, right, it had to be a coincidence!
Five minutes earlier he had been trying to calm himself down and face reality, yet now he was desperately making excuses for Qi Wang, inventing every possible reason why the whole thing must have been a misunderstanding.
The heat in the room seemed to keep rising. Lin Huaixi suddenly felt as though the air had grown unbearably stuffy and impossible to breathe. Without looking back, he headed straight outside.
The room fell quiet again. Without Lin Huaixi in it, the silence turned deathly, devoid of all life.
Half an hour later, Qi Wang stepped out of his room and caught the faint scent of soybean milk.
At first he thought he must be imagining it and did not pay much attention. But the moment he saw the figure bustling around by the dining table, he lifted his head sharply and forgot to breathe.
Lin Huaixi had just finished setting out the bowls and chopsticks. Smiling, he beckoned to him. “Come eat. You got drunk last night, so you must feel awful now. I made you some hangover soup. After breakfast, we can go to class together.”
The soup was still steaming, and the tips of Lin Huaixi’s fingers had been flushed red by the heat.
Qi Wang’s gaze moved slowly from the soup, up along those fingertips, and finally to Lin Huaixi’s face. His expression turned complicated.
Lin Huaixi was treating him exactly as usual, as if nothing at all had happened. They were still the closest, best childhood sweethearts.
But the moment their eyes met, Lin Huaixi jerked his head away as if shocked, then even took a step sideways in a fluster. He was all but screaming panic.
Under his best efforts to cover it up, the atmosphere that had only just begun to loosen immediately stiffened again. Even the air between them turned thick and sticky, tangled with emotions that could neither be severed nor sorted out.
Lin Huaixi instinctively pinched his earlobe. Before his breathing had even evened out, he forced a smile onto his face and turned back toward Qi Wang. “Come eat before it gets cold. It won’t taste good after that.”
Then he sat down first on his own, turning his back to Qi Wang. Grabbing a fried dough stick, he stuffed it into his mouth and chewed desperately.
Qi Wang stared at his back for a long time. The words at the tip of his tongue were swallowed again. Lowering his eyes, he walked over and sat opposite him.
Neither of them spoke after that. The only sounds left were the faint clinks of porcelain bowls being set against the table. Fortunately, they at least had something to occupy their hands, so they were spared the ordeal of simply sitting there and facing one another.
Lin Huaixi was eating with great determination, but he could not taste a thing. Before long he could not keep going. He sat there mechanically, holding a spoon and sipping at his soybean milk in tiny mouthfuls. Qi Wang, on the other hand, ate his breakfast as calmly and elegantly as he always did, seemingly unaffected.
Lin Huaixi snuck a glance at him. Afraid of being caught, he immediately looked away again. A few minutes later, he stole another look.
Qi Wang still showed no sign of anything unusual.
Lin Huaixi paused mid-sip. A thought suddenly flashed through his mind.
Could it be… Qi Wang did not remember anything at all?
It had been his first time getting drunk, so waking up with a complete blackout would make perfect sense. If that was the case, then the secret between them existed only in his head.
Lin Huaixi instantly relaxed. He kept observing Qi Wang, and Qi Wang’s behavior only confirmed his suspicion.
He came back to life immediately, smiling brightly as he added another bun to Qi Wang’s plate. “Eat a bit more. Your stomach will hurt if you don’t.”
Qi Wang nodded and thanked him.
After feeding Qi Wang, Lin Huaixi was about to get up and wash the dishes, but Qi Wang stopped him. “No need. I’ll do it myself.”
Lin Huaixi hesitated for a second before Qi Wang added, “I have some other things to handle today, so I can’t go to class with you.”
Lin Huaixi’s attention was diverted at once. He looked at him with concern. “What things? Are they complicated?”
Qi Wang gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s fine. I can handle it.”
Lin Huaixi hesitated a few seconds, but in the end he chose not to interfere. “Alright then. Do you need me to answer roll for you?”
“No need. I already asked the professor for leave.”
Qi Wang had always been careful and thorough in everything he did. Since that was the case, Lin Huaixi did not worry further. After glancing at his phone, he walked to the door. “Class is starting soon, so I’m heading out first.”
“Alright.” Qi Wang followed after him and saw him to the door.
It was such an ordinary gesture, something they had done countless times before. Both of them acted perfectly calm. But only Lin Huaixi knew how tense he really was. All he could hear was the violent pounding of his own heartbeat. His brain swam from lack of oxygen.
As long as he opened the door, he could get out.
But at that moment, Qi Wang suddenly spoke.
“Xixi.”
Lin Huaixi’s hand stilled. He turned around instinctively, staring at Qi Wang without even blinking.
They were standing so close that the tips of their shoes were almost touching. Their gazes met in midair and tangled together tightly.
A few seconds later, Lin Huaixi pressed his lips together and forced a stiff smile onto his face. His eyes were full of plea.
Qi Wang’s heart felt as though it had been pierced. Pain spread over him in a fine, suffocating web.
He knew exactly what Lin Huaixi was asking for. Lin Huaixi was begging him to forget everything, to pretend last night had never happened, so that they could return to how they had always been—each other’s most important person, each other’s place to rely on.
Qi Wang could not bear to make Lin Huaixi sad, much less hurt him because of this. But he had already held back, already tried his hardest. Once certain words were spoken aloud, there was no way back.
Qi Wang closed his eyes tightly, then reopened them with a gentle smile. “Be careful on the way.”
Light returned to Lin Huaixi’s eyes at once. The curve of his lips widened, and his smile was no longer stiff. “Okay. You take care of yourself too.”
At last the door was pushed open. Lin Huaixi took one step forward. Before his foot could land, he suddenly heard Qi Wang’s voice behind him:
“Xixi, I meant it.”
“I know this has troubled you, and if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore, that would only be normal. I also know I shouldn’t hope for too much. But if there is even the slightest possibility…”
“Then I hope that, after thinking it over seriously, you’ll give me an answer.”
