Chapter 47
In front of Qi Wang, Sun Baiyi swore his promise with absolute certainty and unwavering conviction, but when the night grew quiet and he was left alone, he found it unbearably tormenting.
He had never been the kind of person who could stay still, nor could he keep things bottled up inside. On top of that, he had already liked Lin Huaixi for a very long time—he simply had not been aware of it. Now that the seal on his heart had finally cracked open, love came rushing out in a flood. His mind was full of Lin Huaixi. He could not stop himself from edging closer to him, trying every possible way to stick to him. Whenever their skin touched and he felt Lin Huaixi’s warmth, every cell in his body seemed to burst into cheers, and he became like a person fitted with springs, too excited to settle down.
As the other person who knew the secret, Qi Wang had become Sun Baiyi’s natural nemesis. Every time Qi Wang cast one of those cold looks his way, Sun Baiyi felt as though he had been struck over the head and froze on the spot.
His liking and love were not things he was ashamed to own, nor were they the selfish sort that cared only for himself and not for the other person’s feelings or future.
Sun Baiyi could only force himself to endure it all, but that went against every instinct he had. It hurt so badly that he wanted nothing more than to ram his head into a wall. Then, after banging into the wall, he would think of Lin Huaixi’s face, end up gently rubbing his cheek against the wall with a silly, sweet smile, and then remember that he could not confess to Lin Huaixi after all, and go right back to banging into it again… Either explode in silence, or turn abnormal in silence.
With all that restless energy having nowhere to go, Sun Baiyi could only redirect his attention with a second kind of pain that was slightly less unbearable.
He started studying seriously.
The premise for his confession was that after graduation, he and Lin Huaixi would get into the same university. That way they would not have to suffer through a long-distance relationship, and since Lin Huaixi was so outstanding, he would have to work much harder if he wanted to walk beside him.
But compared with Lin Huaixi, his current grades were worlds apart. He could neither allow nor accept that something like this would stand in the way of him moving toward Lin Huaixi.
Besides, he refused to accept it!
Why was it that Qi Wang studied so well, got to sit beside Lin Huaixi, and stayed his deskmate? Sooner or later, he too would make it into the top class and become the second-place student sitting right next to Lin Huaixi!
At first, Sun Baiyi’s fighting spirit burned brightly, but the process was so difficult and painful that, for him, the number one most painful thing and the number two most painful thing had been stacked together. Every thirty minutes of studying made him want to die. To ease the torment, he could only think about Lin Huaixi. Over time, this sharpened his will, and he gradually reached the point where he could sit still and study for a full hour.
He was smart by nature, just not someone who liked studying. Once he started chasing forward in earnest, his improvement became obvious. The teachers were delighted to see the change in him, and Sun Baiyi’s father was also incredibly supportive, enrolling him in several tutoring classes.
Sun Baiyi was no longer as reckless and noisy as before either. He kept his lips tightly sealed, restrained his hands and feet, and never revealed his feelings—but love still shone plainly in his eyes.
Over the next three years, his grades only got better and better. He became the school’s star example of improvement, made it into the top class, and even gave a speech as a student representative at the mobilization assembly.
Sun Baiyi had always been handsome and athletic. After his grades improved, he only grew more popular at school. Yet unlike Qi Wang, he did not have that distant air about him, and unlike Lin Huaixi, he was not so approachable that he could turn anyone into a friend. Once the “love filter” was stripped away, the number of people confessing to him turned out to be the highest of all. But Sun Baiyi rejected every single one of them with the exact same line:
Sorry, I already like someone.
When Lin Huaixi heard about this, he became incredibly curious and kept pestering Sun Baiyi with questions.
Sun Baiyi could not expose his true feelings, so he could only force a smile. He never denied it, but he firmly refused to say who the person he liked actually was.
Other than class time, the three of them were always together, so Lin Huaixi truly could not imagine when exactly a secret crush had appeared around Sun Baiyi. He even discussed the matter with Qi Wang, but Qi Wang’s reaction was extremely cold, making no attempt to hide his dislike and stiffly changing the subject.
The next day, both Qi Wang and Sun Baiyi turned up with marks on their faces. The injuries were not serious, and they brushed the matter off with excuses like “I accidentally bit my lip” and “I accidentally bumped into a corner.”
Lin Huaixi pressed them down and personally put medicine on them. Only after the marks had disappeared did he finally let out a sigh of relief.
The pace of high school life was fast, and this was only a small interlude. Lin Huaixi did not take it to heart.
Time passed bit by bit.
Every night, Sun Baiyi studied hard until one in the morning before finally putting down his pen. Then, with solemn excitement, he would take out a long strip of paper from his drawer, write it full of words of love, fold it into a star, and place it into the glass jar beside him.
Every single night, he folded one star, and the jar was already nearly full.
He wanted to wait until the exam results came out, then hold that jar of stars in his arms and confess to Lin Huaixi properly, telling him his feelings with complete sincerity.
Qi Wang had grown even more mature in temperament. He played the role of “good friend” perfectly, never straying even a step from Lin Huaixi’s side. Even when Sun Baiyi looked at him with the most critical eye possible, he still could not find a single flaw in him.
And so three years of youth passed by.
At last, it was time to face the final big boss: the college entrance exam.
In the most recent mock exams, Lin Huaixi and Qi Wang had been taking turns placing first in the whole school, while Sun Baiyi, having improved enormously, had remained steady in the top ten of the grade.
Lin Huaixi had never performed abnormally, but the atmosphere in the class was simply too tense. Even after class, the room remained deathly quiet, everyone staying in their seats studying. Lin Huaixi felt embarrassed to speak loudly, so he could only drag Qi Wang outside to chat.
But there was a limit to how much pressure a person could bear. The pressure kept building and building until it finally crossed the threshold. During evening self-study, the girl sitting in front of them suddenly began to cry softly. Everyone went over to comfort her, but each of them had already been forcing themselves to hold on. Once their emotions were stirred by hers, their noses went sore and their eyes turned red too.
When Lin Huaixi and Qi Wang were walking home after school, they saw another boy standing beneath a streetlamp making a phone call. In the middle of speaking, he suddenly started banging his head against the wall and burst into loud sobs.
Even though Lin Huaixi did not share exactly the same feelings, his empathy was extremely strong. That very night, he ended up having nightmares about the college entrance exam and woke drenched in cold sweat.
Inside dreams, a person’s consciousness could not be controlled, but once awake, reason returned. Even so, once the seed of anxiety had been planted, sooner or later it would take root and sprout.
During dinner, Lin Huaixi felt like he could not breathe. He went up to the rooftop alone, sat on the steps hugging his knees, and looked out at the evening sky full of sunset clouds.
The fiery clouds spread out like the entire sky had been set ablaze. In the past, Lin Huaixi would have thought the sight magnificent and gorgeous, but today it inexplicably made him feel a little sad.
The sunset clouds burned through their own life, exhausting themselves to produce such dazzling color. Yet they could only remain for a mere ten minutes or so before gradually fading away, swallowed by darkness. Even if they left behind one vivid stroke in memory, the exact same scenery could never be seen again.
The more he thought about it, the more all the strength seemed to drain from his body. He rested his chin on his knees and let out a long, dispirited sigh.
“What’s wrong?”
A voice sounded suddenly behind him. Because it was so familiar, because it had accompanied him through day after day, Lin Huaixi did not even lift his eyelids and only said in a low voice, “Nothing. I just suddenly feel like…”
He did not know how to put it into words, but Qi Wang understood perfectly. Sitting down beside Lin Huaixi, he looked out at the evening glow too. “For these three years, there’s only been one goal. Now that the college entrance exam is getting closer and closer, of course the class atmosphere is tense. But I think what people should feel more is excitement.”
Lin Huaixi shot his head up. “Excitement?”
Qi Wang smiled slightly. “After the college entrance exam, we’ll be adults. We’ll be able to go to the universities we want, support ourselves, and live the life we want freely. These three years are finally about to bear a result. Why shouldn’t that be exciting?”
“And besides…” Qi Wang paused, then reached up to smooth Lin Huaixi’s windblown hair. “Studying is dull, but these three years weren’t only about studying.”
Lin Huaixi’s thoughts began to wander on their own. “We couldn’t join the basketball tournament in first year, but the next year, the three of us all took part and were even named outstanding players. Then at the sports meet, I won three medals in one go, and also…”
He had not even finished speaking before he was already laughing. “That time the power went out, Sun Baiyi insisted on holding a courage-testing event and made everyone tell ghost stories together—things like back-to-back, don’t turn around, all that stuff. But right when he got to the most exciting part, there was suddenly a sound behind us, and then the flashlight lit up a ghost face. I swear my scalp almost exploded.”
Qi Wang smoothly picked up where he left off. “Later we found out it was the grade director. He punished us by making us write ten-thousand-word self-criticisms. The next day, when we handed them in, every single one of us had dark circles under our eyes. Sun Baiyi had even fallen asleep while writing his, so the handwriting was a total mess. The grade director said it looked like some kind of talisman he’d written to suppress him.”
Lin Huaixi clicked his tongue twice. “Ever since then, I’ve never been scared of any ghost story again. Nothing could possibly be more terrifying than that.”
Qi Wang had a strange kind of magic. Whenever Lin Huaixi felt upset, Qi Wang would appear, and with only a few words, Lin Huaixi’s mood would recover.
Still hugging his knees, Lin Huaixi rocked his body from side to side and deliberately bumped his shoulder against Qi Wang’s. “You’re right. In these three years of high school, I studied seriously, but I wasn’t only studying. There’s really nothing to be nervous about. I’ve prepared so thoroughly—I’m definitely going to get a good result!”
Seeing him swaying back and forth like a weighted toy, Qi Wang was afraid he might topple over, so he stretched out an arm as though to loosely guard him.
Lin Huaixi noticed the gesture but pushed his luck, throwing himself harder against Qi Wang. Sure enough, he lost his balance and tipped sideways, but Qi Wang opened his arms and caught him.
With his hair all rubbed messy, Lin Huaixi lifted his head from Qi Wang’s embrace, looking like a furry little animal, mischievous and lively.
Qi Wang did not call him out on it. He only smiled along with him.
When Sun Baiyi could not find either of them in the class, he hurried up after them. The moment he saw the two of them gazing at each other, warning bells exploded in his head. “What are you two doing? Why didn’t you call me?”
Lin Huaixi turned to look at him, his eyes curving with a smile, making the dimples on his cheeks even more obvious.
Every happy memory seemed to involve Sun Baiyi doing something embarrassing. Thinking about all his glorious incidents, Lin Huaixi could not help laughing out loud again.
Although Sun Baiyi had no idea what was so funny, seeing Lin Huaixi laugh made him happy too. He lifted a hand to rub his head and gave two sheepish little chuckles, looking silly enough to bubble over.
Looking at Qi Wang and Sun Baiyi beneath the sunset clouds, something stirred in Lin Huaixi’s heart. “Did either of you bring a phone?”
The school expressly forbade students from bringing phones, but of course Sun Baiyi would never listen. He immediately pulled one out of his pocket. “I did. Xixi, do you want to play a game or make a call?”
“Let’s take a picture,” Lin Huaixi suggested.
As soon as he said it, he tugged Qi Wang over to stand beside Sun Baiyi. Since it was a selfie, the distance was limited. If all three of them were going to fit in the frame, they had to stand very close together.
Feeling Lin Huaixi’s breath and warmth, Sun Baiyi’s heart instantly went wild. Even the hand holding the phone turned weak and soft. Qi Wang cast him a cold glance, warning him not to make any unnecessary moves.
Lin Huaixi noticed none of the undercurrent between them. Like the best of brothers, he threw an arm around each of their shoulders and smiled so broadly that eight teeth showed. “Cheese!”
Sun Baiyi instinctively echoed the word. Qi Wang curved his lips faintly. All three of them looked into the camera together, leaving behind the final photograph before graduating high school.
Three boys in blue-and-white school uniforms, overflowing with youth. Behind them stretched sunset clouds all the way to the horizon, and their faces too were dyed with a touch of warm color. Their eyes shone with points of starlight, full of hope and longing for the future.
The boy in the middle had his arms around his two best friends. Raised in love, he smiled without the slightest shadow. His two best friends were utterly different in personality—one was like a big golden retriever, grinning foolishly, while the other was quiet and inward, his eyes hiding thoughts too deep to melt, yet in front of Lin Huaixi, he always showed only his gentlest side.
Time would quietly slip away, but they would remain forever young.
…
No matter what emotions the exam candidates carried in their hearts, the final big boss still arrived in the end.
Lin Yunmi and Wen Qianshu had both been busy preparing the art exhibition, but during this period they had also worked hard to keep the logistics in order. On the day itself, they even specially prepared a breakfast for exam-takers: one fried dough stick with two eggs, and the remaining points made up with soy milk.
The soy milk had been Wen Qianshu’s responsibility, and she had added sugar to it. That was her way of expressing affection.
Over these years, Wen Qianshu’s condition had improved tremendously. Her emotions were steady. Although her way of thinking still resembled that of a child, she was no longer shut away in her own world, and she had abundant inspiration, creating many works of art.
Lin Huaixi talked with Aunt Wen often and had always felt that she was not abnormal at all—she simply had a more unusual way of communicating with the world.
Lin Yunmi and Wen Qianshu personally brought the two boys to the examination site in advance, and Sun Baiyi happened to be there as well. The three of them greeted their parents, then entered together into this examination that would decide their fate.
It was a battle without smoke or bloodshed. In the exam hall, the only sound was the rustle of pen tips moving across paper. Lin Huaixi looked serious and completely focused on the questions in front of him, determined to win this war.
At last, the exam was over.
Everyone had spent three whole years preparing for this. Those three years had been painful and exhausting, so they ought to have ended with something dramatic and unforgettable. Instead, it ended quietly and all at once, and Lin Huaixi found it a little hard to adjust.
The other exam candidates around him did not look as relieved as one might have imagined. They all left silently. After only a few steps, Lin Huaixi suddenly felt like he wanted to see Qi Wang and the others as soon as possible, and he could not help breaking into a run.
By the time he reached the gates of the exam site, he saw that Qi Wang and his mother and the others were waiting not far away.
Lin Huaixi waved to them, lifted a bright smile, and ran toward them.
These three years of high school were not an ending.
They deserved even more to be met with a grand, brilliant beginning.
