Chapter 38: An Awkward Embrace
Rut.
Those three words had once been the deepest shadow over Fu Rangyi’s heart. He could barely face it, barely accept it, and yet his gender determined that he would fall into that cyclical abyss again and again—beast, human, beast… endlessly. But when the word came from Zhu Zhixi’s mouth, everything seemed to become different.
A rut with Zhu Zhixi in it was the first time in his life Fu Rangyi had looked directly at the cliff of desire and faced it—not rejecting it, not running away. Zhu Zhixi had reached out, held his hand, accepted everything, and guided him as he fumbled through the dark, surging heat. Fu Rangyi had taken that step half-believing, half-doubting, thinking he would be shattered to pieces, only to be caught by a cloud, embraced, and gently stroked.
Without him noticing, the scent of his pheromones changed. The grapefruit blossom grew richer and richer, overwhelming the cold aloofness that kept strangers away. This had once been the smell he hated most, because it meant loss of control, arousal, and desire.
“Fu Rangyi.” Zhu Zhixi called his name again, and it sounded beautiful. His entire body was soaked in the sweet fragrance of flowers. Fu Rangyi’s own desire had flowed over every inch of him.
He kissed him, prying open the gap between his teeth, taking that red tongue into his mouth, swallowing every sigh, soft gasp, and whimper, lightly biting the full flesh of his lips with canines that had been stimulated out.
“Mm…” He felt Zhu Zhixi’s shoulders trembling slightly, so he held him tighter, his hand gently stroking his thin back. His fingers unconsciously moved upward, instinctively kneading the place where a gland did not exist.
Zhu Zhixi was like an overripe fruit. The more he was kneaded, the softer and wetter he became, his abundant juice wrapped in thin skin, as if the slightest pinch would make it spill out with a splash.
The drunk was very simple. He wanted kisses, and once he got them, he grew even more excited. So he tried very hard to respond, circling his tongue the same way he had licked the mole at the web of Fu Rangyi’s thumb.
Fu Rangyi never closed his eyes while kissing.
He held the back of Zhu Zhixi’s head and watched him seriously. He watched Zhu Zhixi’s face gradually flush, his fringe slowly dampened by crystal-clear sweat, the fine fuzz on his skin sticking down, giving him a disordered kind of innocence. When Fu Rangyi’s tongue went a little deeper, Zhu Zhixi would furrow his brows and squeeze his eyes shut even tighter.
The Alpha’s baser instincts had been controlling him all along. He did not want anyone else to see Zhu Zhixi like this.
And so the kiss turned fierce, while Zhu Zhixi’s legs locked around him even tighter. Between them, it was like rubbing wood to make fire. At some instant, flames bloomed like flowers, burning endlessly.
Sensing that Zhu Zhixi was almost unable to breathe, Fu Rangyi pulled back and let him catch his breath.
“I want…”
“What do you want?” Fu Rangyi leaned his ear closer.
Unexpectedly, Zhu Zhixi seemed to forget what he had meant to say. After a short silence, he suddenly licked the skin behind Fu Rangyi’s ear.
Every muscle in Fu Rangyi’s body went taut. “What are you doing?” He held Zhu Zhixi’s chin.
Zhu Zhixi laughed childishly. Sweat flowed into his left eye, so he could only narrow it. Panting, he said, “They said there’s a gland here too.”
“They?” Fu Rangyi’s canines ached and swelled. He pinched Zhu Zhixi’s cheek and asked in a low voice, “Who’s they?”
Zhu Zhixi tilted his face and took Fu Rangyi’s thumb between his lips and teeth, answering vaguely, “Brother…”
“Brother?” Fu Rangyi frowned and pulled his hand back.
The sudden emptiness in his mouth made Zhu Zhixi a little dazed. “Mm?”
Fu Rangyi wanted to get up, but Zhu Zhixi seemed afraid of being pushed away. He tried even harder to cling to him and wrap himself around him, until he was practically being held like a koala.
“No gland?” Zhu Zhixi cupped Fu Rangyi’s face in both hands, reached his fingers backward, rubbed behind his ear, then gave up. He hugged Fu Rangyi’s neck tightly and said, a little angrily, “Big Zhu lied to me.”
Only then did Fu Rangyi realize how neurotic he had been. He really had lost his mind. Zhu Zhixi had an older brother. His biological brother. How could he suddenly have forgotten that?
He felt annoyed with himself and gathered the little koala’s back into his arms. “Sorry. I misunderstood.”
But Zhu Zhixi was only fixated on studying the distribution of Alpha glands. He had taken it seriously, believing that there really was none behind the ear, so he tried hard to reach Fu Rangyi’s nape, biting at empty air from a distance. His teeth clicked together, making crisp, almost comical snapping sounds.
Fu Rangyi was amused by him. He pinched a thin patch of skin at the back of Zhu Zhixi’s neck and shook it. “Still want to ‘mark’ me?”
“Yes.”
Fu Rangyi crossed his hands and supported him beneath the thighs, threatening him verbally. “I’ll put a bite guard on you.”
The lawless Beta finally behaved. “Then no.”
Fu Rangyi was not done playing with him yet, coaxing, “A bite guard doesn’t hurt. It’s just a little heavy.”
“No.” The face buried against the side of his neck leaned closer, facing him. Zhu Zhixi rubbed the tip of his nose against his, honest to an excessive degree. “If I wear it, I can’t kiss you.”
Fu Rangyi froze slightly. A moment later, he leaned in and gently took Zhu Zhixi’s lower lip, giving him a new kiss.
“Not here,” Zhu Zhixi said. “Tired. Go inside. Lie down.”
You’re tired when you’re being carried? Fu Rangyi almost laughed and asked, “Go inside where?”
The drunk, who had many demands, thought left and right, drawing out a long “mm” for a while. Finally, he pressed his forehead against Fu Rangyi’s and said with a smile, “The tent.”
The place where Fu Rangyi had “nested” for the first time in his life.
Thinking back afterward, Fu Rangyi did not even know how he ended up in Zhu Zhixi’s room. At the time, he had already become a walking corpse controlled by pheromones, wandering and wandering until he finally crawled into that tent. It was full of Zhu Zhixi’s clothes, but not a trace of comforting pheromones.
He had buried his face in those clothes and sniffed hard like a dog. It was useless. Of course it was useless. Zhu Zhixi was only a Beta. Those faint smells seemed to dissolve the agitation brought by pheromones, but terrifyingly, they also brought an even greater restlessness and emptiness—he would never be able to mark Zhu Zhixi. Never be able to make him belong only to him.
Now they returned to the old place. Inside the narrow tent, those useless clothes were gone, replaced by a warm body. The white fluffy rug was as soft as Zhu Zhixi. Fu Rangyi held him and lay down on it, like a half-frozen man finding a hot spring in the bitter cold and falling into it, unable to move at first.
But the person who lived in the hot spring had long since adapted. Zhu Zhixi muttered that it was hot and inexplicably lifted the hem of Fu Rangyi’s sweater. His limbs, soaked in alcohol, were clumsy. After quite some effort, he finally took off that black shirt. Then his own hoodie.
Crackle, crackle. In the dim tent, it was like tiny fireworks going off. Only when Zhu Zhixi’s wedding ring knocked against Fu Rangyi’s belt buckle did Fu Rangyi abruptly wake from the erosion of warmth and catch both his hands.
“What are you trying to do?”
Faced with this somewhat serious question, Zhu Zhixi looked a little confused. Fu Rangyi fumbled for the lamp inside the tent and turned it on. The light spilled down like lemon juice, illuminating both of them.
Almost instinctively, Fu Rangyi hid his left forearm behind his back.
Zhu Zhixi had only a thin white short-sleeved shirt left on, his cheeks veiled in rose-colored flush. He lowered his head and stumbled over his words in a very small voice, but Fu Rangyi still heard him.
“Help? No need.” His refusal was firm. But in the next second, he remembered that Zhu Zhixi had said he did not like him being fierce, so he softened his tone considerably and touched Zhu Zhixi’s burning face. “You don’t need to do that.”
“Need to.” The drunk persisted stubbornly. “You were poking me just now.”
Should I apologize to you for that?
Fu Rangyi was utterly helpless and did not want to speak anymore. The drunk also sat obediently, and the atmosphere suddenly cooled.
Then, in the next second—
“Your chest is really big.” The drunk said something shocking.
Fu Rangyi’s face filled with confusion. He even thought he had misheard. “What?”
As soon as Zhu Zhixi finished speaking, he reached out. Naturally, Fu Rangyi caught his wrist.
Zhu Zhixi pouted. “You said you’d give me anything I wanted.”
Fu Rangyi: “…” Was there really a need to honor promises made to a drunk?
Forget it.
Zhu Zhixi’s touching was not excessive. It was more curiosity, like a child playing a game. Suddenly, he leaned over and buried his face against him with a soft plop.
He pressed his nose bridge against the center line and rolled left, rubbing one cheek, then rolled right, pressing the other. Fu Rangyi lowered his head and could only see a fluffy head rubbing back and forth against his chest. It was somewhat funny.
But this did not last long. Once Zhu Zhixi’s lips touched him, once they took him in, once his tongue instinctively circled, everything started to go out of control.
While licking, Zhu Zhixi slightly lifted his eyes. That gaze seemed to say: I’m going to eat your heart.
“Zhu Zhixi—” Fu Rangyi frowned and pushed away that bad head, but the bad thing simply straddled him directly. While kissing him, Zhu Zhixi took off the thin shirt that faintly outlined his waist and threw it aside, then embraced Fu Rangyi face to face.
Their two chests pressed tightly together. His already stiff nipples rubbed against Fu Rangyi’s, grinding over the one he had just licked.
A wave of numbness pierced through his bones. Desire instantly overwhelmed reason. Fu Rangyi gripped the back of his neck and kissed him hard, sucking on that cunning tongue. The Alpha’s dominance could no longer be concealed. He almost wanted to knead Zhu Zhixi into his own body, devouring his lips, tongue, and skin.
“Mm… more…” Zhu Zhixi’s hand fumbled downward messily and undid Fu Rangyi’s belt buckle, but his right hand was quickly twisted behind his back and fixed against his lower back by Fu Rangyi’s hand.
Like a small snake struck at its vital point, he twisted his waist in discomfort, no longer daring to touch Fu Rangyi’s. He could only use his one free hand to undo the button of his own jeans and push them down a little.
The wet sounds of lips and tongues tangling filled the entire tent. The flower scent was obscene and intoxicating.
“Touch here…” He pulled Fu Rangyi’s hand and guided it downward, into his underwear. Only then did Fu Rangyi discover that Zhu Zhixi had already become helplessly aroused. It was wet inside, but only half-hard, probably because of the alcohol. That was why he was suffering so badly.
Fu Rangyi withdrew his hand, his fingertips coated with sticky, slippery fluid.
“Zhu Zhixi, are you in heat? You’re dripping so much.”
Hearing this, Zhu Zhixi seemed anxious and pressed his lips over Fu Rangyi’s mouth to block it.
Fu Rangyi held his waist, flipped him off his body, pushed him down onto the rug, and pressed over him. The tent shook. He tugged Zhu Zhixi’s jeans down to his knees but did not immediately move.
“May I?” He was genuinely asking. But his voice was hoarse, and leaving Zhu Zhixi beneath him like this, his fingers pinching the point of his chin, made it seem more like malicious flirting.
Zhu Zhixi could barely breathe, so he could only nod. “Mm…”
The last time they had been this intimate was during Fu Rangyi’s rut. Although he remembered it afterward, the memory was still hazy. Now his mind was clear, and he could look at this body openly and without restraint.
So Zhu Zhixi was this white, his waist this slender. His muscles were lean, pulled taut, his skin faintly pink. His nipples were very small and erect, their color almost close to the mole on his eyelid—rose-colored.
Finding it amusing, Fu Rangyi moved the hand pinching his chin elsewhere. He bent his knuckle and scraped it over the trembling nipple.
“Mm…” Zhu Zhixi curled up entirely, turning slightly onto his side. His waist was only a thin strip.
It felt like it would break with one thrust.
That thought did not survive for long. Fu Rangyi was overwhelmed by the rampant flower scent on his own body. Zhu Zhixi whimpered emptily, making tiny cat-like sounds. The sounds woke him. Fu Rangyi bent down, licking Zhu Zhixi’s nipple until it was wet and full, biting it gently, and heard louder panting. He felt a little satisfied.
So he moved all the way downward, licking and kissing Zhu Zhixi’s waist and abdomen. Although possessiveness was going mad in his mind, he still did not leave a mark. Not until that mole appeared in his sight.
The mole Zhu Zhixi had once shown him in the steamy water, lifting his shirt so Fu Rangyi could look at and rub it.
He still failed to resist the temptation. He sucked and kissed that small patch of skin. No one knew about this place. No one would see it. He could make one small mark.
He did not linger there long. Finally, he held that penis, still leaking fluid, and very awkwardly took the whole thing into his mouth and moved. This was not something he was good at, but Zhu Zhixi’s reaction was huge. Like the first time, he clamped his legs shut.
Zhu Zhixi cried out messily, his voice soft and sticky. Fu Rangyi pulled off, as if by muscle memory, and instinctively circled his tongue around the pink tip. Once, twice. Zhu Zhixi immediately gasped hard, his fingers gripping Fu Rangyi’s shoulders and back tightly, scratching several times.
“I can’t…”
Already?
He was too sensitive.
Fu Rangyi thought this and was about to take him in again when the hand gripping his shoulder suddenly fumbled downward and clasped his wrist, guiding it farther down. When it brushed past the soft flesh of his buttocks, Fu Rangyi felt electricity run through his whole body, and his lower body hardened even more.
He tried hard to restrain himself, forcing himself not to look, not to feel. But that hand pulled him along, and by the end, it was almost dragging his fingertips until they reached the place Zhu Zhixi wanted.
“You can… touch my tail.”
Tail?
Fu Rangyi froze for a second. The place his finger was passively touching was Zhu Zhixi’s tailbone. In an instant, memories from his rut flashed back.
This was a tail. A vestigial rabbit tail.
His heart stirred. He rubbed it a few times. That place was already soaked through by the fluid leaking down. A slippery little bone, thin and soft flesh. The bad rabbit’s little tail.
As though possessed, Fu Rangyi lowered his head and licked it.
“Mm!”
This time, Zhu Zhixi almost screamed. He immediately clamped his thighs together, the muscles tensing into clear lines.
“It’s all right. Relax.” Fu Rangyi kissed his thigh, coaxing him.
But it was useless.
Zhu Zhixi let out a few dissatisfied little hums, firmly refusing to let him lick his tail again.
Fu Rangyi could only stroke him while licking the crease of his thigh and his hipbone. Gradually, after getting a taste for it, Zhu Zhixi loosened his legs and even spread them, tugging Fu Rangyi’s fingers deeper between his thighs.
When he touched that wet entrance, Fu Rangyi’s lower body almost twitched. He wanted to go in. To drive in hard, nail him down, pierce him through. Those frenzied thoughts flashed by in an instant. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed them back.
“I want… inside…” Zhu Zhixi gripped his fingers and pushed them directly inward.
“Wait.” Fu Rangyi frowned, afraid of hurting him. “We don’t have anything at home.”
“We don’t need it…”
“Of course we do. You’re not an Omega.”
Zhu Zhixi parted his lips slightly, panting as he asked, “You… want to do it with an Omega? A Beta won’t do?”
There was no reasoning with him at all.
“Come in, please.” Zhu Zhixi tried again, slipping his fingertip in a little, coaxing softly, “Husband…”
Fu Rangyi was completely helpless.
“This isn’t right.” He was still putting up a dying struggle.
“If it’s not right… it’s fine. Compensation will do… You can ask me for…”
Before Zhu Zhixi could finish speaking, Fu Rangyi’s fingers had already pushed inside. The rest of his sentence broke off in a moan.
“No need,” Fu Rangyi said softly. “You helped me once. I’ll return it to you. Then neither of us owes the other anything.”
Below, he was soaked through. Fu Rangyi opened him little by little. At first, it was clumsy, but later, his thrusting fingers carried in so much slick fluid that the small opening gradually became soft and wet.
Zhu Zhixi was completely immersed in desire, calling him “husband” in a soft, sweet voice, as if he felt very good.
Fu Rangyi stared at the little hole swallowing his fingers. Sure enough, he was a Beta. So small, so tight. His body was not naturally made for this.
Then why did he want to do it?
Why did he want it so badly?
“You… come in, okay?” Zhu Zhixi was at his wit’s end. After switching between “husband” and “Fu Rangyi,” he began calling him “Professor Fu.”
Fu Rangyi pushed another finger inside, this time his ring finger.
“Don’t call me that.” His voice was hoarse. “What did I teach you?”
“Physiology class?”
Fu Rangyi thrust his fingers inward. It was too tight inside, so he could only squeeze in bit by bit, trying to scrape along the soft inner walls until he found a small rough spot and pressed against it.
“Mm—no, not there, I can’t…”
The sudden change in Zhu Zhixi’s tone made Fu Rangyi curious.
He thought with some amusement, Is it here? His sensitive spot?
So Betas had one too.
He focused all the desire he could not vent there, thrusting fast and hard, each stroke of his fingertips accurately striking that soft patch. Zhu Zhixi seemed unable to bear it. He pushed at him desperately, twisting his waist as he struggled, even kicking him with his feet.
“No, I can’t… I’m going to die…”
That word again.
“Zhu Zhixi, what did I tell you?” Fu Rangyi moved up, his left hand gripping Zhu Zhixi’s waist. He kissed his lips, and at the same time released suppressive pheromones. At an unprecedented concentration.
In an instant, Zhu Zhixi could no longer move. This was physiological submission. He could not struggle, could not resist. Every muscle and bone in his body seemed pinned down and pierced through by the pheromones.
Fu Rangyi lowered his head, folded one of Zhu Zhixi’s legs up, and hooked his ankle over his shoulder, exposing him more completely. Then he leaned down and kissed him carefully. His tongue, fingers, and pheromones seemed to be playing with that body all at once. Irresistible pleasure soon soaked Zhu Zhixi through.
It was also at this moment that Zhu Zhixi sobered up completely.
Before this, he had been hazy and dazed, using the last traces of drunkenness to seduce him, always scratching an itch through a layer of cloth.
Now, the transparent plastic film had been pierced through. Revelry, fleshly desire, pleasure—everything became sharp and clear.
His entire body was pressed tight by the pheromones, leaving him breathless. On the verge of suffocation, he endured the storm-like thrusting, pleasure crashing over him like lightning splitting through his body.
The only part of him still free was his mouth. He could still speak, and only speak. He cried out as if sobbing, his pleas mixing with his desire.
“Husband, I can’t anymore, I really can’t! Mm… too fast… I…”
Fu Rangyi ignored his voice and sealed his lips. Zhu Zhixi’s waist and abdomen clenched, his vision went black, and he suddenly came.
But Fu Rangyi kept staring at his face, his eyes, brows furrowed, utterly focused. He did not seem to realize Zhu Zhixi had already climaxed, nor did he seem to have even considered it, so he kept stimulating that sensitive spot.
Zhu Zhixi was shattered by pleasure. He wanted to hit Fu Rangyi, to kick him away, but his entire body was suppressed and he could not do it. Even his cries for help were cut apart by moans.
In the end, he started crying, trembling like a sieve. The kiss turned faintly bitter. Only then did Fu Rangyi suddenly realize. He lowered his head and saw Zhu Zhixi’s lower abdomen covered in white semen, while clear fluid was already seeping from his tip again.
“You came?”
Fu Rangyi wiped him a few times with his own clothes, then pulled him up and gathered him into his arms, gently patting his back. “Are you okay?”
Zhu Zhixi could not sit steadily and could only lean against him. He was still crying, his complaints carrying a sobbing tone. “No… I’m almost broken.”
He still had no strength. Under the suppression, he could not hug Fu Rangyi back, but he also could not bear for Fu Rangyi to withdraw his pheromones, so he said nothing.
“I’m sorry.” Fu Rangyi gently stroked his back and pinched the nape of his neck.
After a while, Zhu Zhixi felt that oppressive force growing weaker and weaker. Fu Rangyi was withdrawing it himself. He wanted to cry again.
“Did it feel good?” Fu Rangyi kissed his smooth, rounded shoulder.
Zhu Zhixi did not want to admit it. He was too sober now, and his sense of shame belatedly surged up, so he mumbled for a while, trying to gloss over it.
With no answer, Fu Rangyi did not continue asking. He simply held him quietly, patting his back, even rocking him gently, as though coaxing a baby.
Why was he soothing him like this? So strange, but… so comfortable too.
In that rocking, Zhu Zhixi sank into deep exhaustion, enveloped by drowsiness. He felt cherished, and vaguely wondered whether this was the kind of care Fu Rangyi himself longed for.
Before he could figure it out, his eyes closed, and he fell asleep.
In a long dream, he dreamed of the little white dog he could never catch up to. He also dreamed of a little boy in a dense fog. The boy walked toward him, opened his arms, and pleaded in a soft, childish voice: Hug me.
Zhu Zhixi was easily softened, so he crouched down and gathered the child into his arms. When the thick fog dispersed and he released the embrace, he saw an extremely familiar face.
The child had little expression. His lips moved as he said, “Can I touch your tail?”
Then Zhu Zhixi shuddered and suddenly woke up.
The room was pitch-black. A calming scented candle was burning. By the wavering candlelight, Zhu Zhixi gradually recognized that this was his own room. He was lying in his own bed.
His clothes had been changed. His body was dry and clean, carrying the scent of body wash. But this did not seem to be his sleepwear. The cut and fabric looked like the type Fu Rangyi preferred, yet it was neither too long nor too short, exactly his size.
So strange.
Zhu Zhixi lay on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling for a long time. One thought circled again and again in his mind. In the end, he got up, lifted the covers, and climbed out of bed. He did not even bother putting on shoes, walking barefoot to Fu Rangyi’s room.
The door was shut. Zhu Zhixi murmured softly, as though talking to himself, “I’m coming in.”
He turned the handle. The room was very dark and very quiet, filled with the scent of sandalwood.
“Fu Rangyi?” Zhu Zhixi’s voice was very, very soft.
There was no response.
He gripped the doorknob and stood quietly for a while. After some hesitation, he still went closer, walked over, climbed onto the bed, and slipped under Fu Rangyi’s covers.
He was surprised. So this person curled up when he slept, like a child with no sense of security.
He could not see his face, nor hear any sound. Fu Rangyi slept extremely quietly. Zhu Zhixi did not even know whether he was truly asleep. But that did not seem important anymore. Zhu Zhixi lay close to him, pressed his face against the slight protrusion of his spine, and after a few seconds, stretched out his arm to hug Fu Rangyi’s waist from behind.
Body heat gradually passed and mingled in the embrace. It was very warm. He quietly shifted upward a little, stopped, took a deep breath, then leaned in and kissed the back of Fu Rangyi’s neck.
He closed his eyes and said softly, “Good night, Little Fu.”
