Chapter Four
Qu Tongqiu went back to setting up his street stall. He didn’t pursue the matter of being drugged and taken away. Though Ren Ningyuan and the others were in the wrong and he could have demanded justice, he didn’t know why—just thinking about it made him feel uneasy, so he chose not to bring it up again.
Maybe he felt it was better to suffer a loss than to have more dealings with Ren Ningyuan.
Besides, he couldn’t even say clearly whether he had really suffered a loss. Just recalling it made his temples throb wildly.
And from that day on, he had strange dreams every night—so much so that he was nearly at his limit. As days passed, his clothes became too loose to wear, forcing him to buy new ones.
That day, after returning from buying stock, Qu Tongqiu ran into heavy rain. The bus was hard to squeeze onto. He couldn’t bear to take the subway, let alone a taxi. So he carried the goods on his back, walking and stopping, planning to walk a few stops and see if there would be more buses at the next intersection.
After walking for a while, he was exhausted. Luckily, he was wearing that extra-large transparent raincoat patched with plastic sheets, so the goods wouldn’t get wet. As he walked, he kept looking back and forth, hoping to spot a bus he could board, when he saw a sports car with a prancing horse emblem driving toward him.
Qu Tongqiu was worried he’d get splashed head to toe before he could dodge, but the car slowed down and stopped right beside him.
The window rolled down, and a short-haired head poked out. The young man squinted as he looked him up and down. Only after Qu Tongqiu gave a polite, greeting smile did he ask uncertainly, “Fatty?”
It was Phillip. Ever since the last time he’d taken the lunchbox, Qu Tongqiu hadn’t seen him for a long time, and naturally Phillip hadn’t seen him either. So when Qu Tongqiu didn’t deny it, Phillip looked quite shocked and repeated it, this time even stuttering, “Uncle F-fatty?”
“Long time no see…”
“Wow, it really is you? I recognized that lousy raincoat and the big bag, so I came over to take a look. You’ve totally changed—you didn’t go get plastic surgery, did you?”
“…”
“Right, you’ve practically lost a whole person’s worth of weight. Damn, if I hadn’t run into you today, even if we passed each other face to face on the street, I wouldn’t have recognized you.”
“…It’s not that exaggerated…”
“It is, it is. Before and after—you’re really so different.”
Qu Tongqiu said awkwardly, “I didn’t lose weight…”
“Oh right, get in the car. Where are you going? I’ll give you a ride.”
Qu Tongqiu hesitated. Phillip’s obvious closeness with Ren Ningyuan made him wary. He really wanted to avoid trouble for himself. “No need. It’s probably not on the way…”
“Why be polite with me?”
“Really, no need…”
Phillip suddenly got serious. “Uncle Fatty, are you mad because I didn’t go back to find you about opening a shop?”
Qu Tongqiu shook his head quickly. “No, that’s not it…”
“My mom wasn’t happy, so it was hard for me to keep setting up a stall. The shop thing had to be put on hold too. If I keep making her angry, I’ve got to be a good son for a while before I can go back to being free. Forcing her to flip out all at once would be a mess…”
Qu Tongqiu nodded repeatedly. “It’s okay…”
“Then get in. If we stay stopped any longer, I’ll get fined.”
In the end, Qu Tongqiu got into the car, comforting himself that having some contact with Phillip didn’t necessarily mean getting tangled up with Ren Ningyuan again—and besides, his bag really was heavy.
Phillip was genuinely happy to see him again. They were stall buddies, after all. And now that he’d slimmed down so much, there was even more gossip to dig into. However long the car drove, Phillip talked for just as long. The only pause, lasting a few dozen seconds, was when Phillip took a phone call, saying he needed to detour to pick up a friend.
“Sorry about this—I’ll swing by to get her first, then take you home. Girls, you know—coming to their rescue anytime is a knight’s duty.”
So Phillip urged his Ferrari on, speeding off to pick someone up.
As they neared the storefront, they could see from afar a girl holding an umbrella, waiting. Seeing Phillip’s expression, Qu Tongqiu assumed it was his girlfriend. As the car got closer, Qu Tongqiu’s heart suddenly started pounding.
“Little P, I want to get out.”
“Huh? What’s wrong? I can’t stop here—we’re almost there.”
Qu Tongqiu began to panic. Phillip tried to reassure him. “Almost—just a tap on the brakes.”
Sure enough, as he hit the brakes, the car stopped right outside the shop. The girl walked toward them. Qu Tongqiu hoisted his bag, opened the door, and hurried off with his head down, not caring where he was going.
“Hey, Uncle Fatty, what’s wrong with you?” Phillip climbed out too, but couldn’t abandon the car to chase after him. Leaning on the door, he could only sigh in frustration. “Uncle Fatty, you forgot your raincoat.”
Qu Tongqiu ignored him completely and kept walking. Seeing he couldn’t catch up, Phillip turned just as the girl came over. He said, “Look at you—what kind of girl wears sneakers and track pants? Not ladylike at all. And that bag—you scared my friend off.”
The girl punched him lightly but solidly. “Say one more word and I’ll hit you.”
“Hey, I didn’t say you were ugly. I meant the bag. The strap’s broken—why not just change to a new one? It’s not good-looking, and getting it repaired is such a hassle…”
This punch was much heavier, nearly making Phillip see stars.
“This was a gift from my dad!”
Phillip rubbed his aching chest and said awkwardly, “Sorry… I was just joking.”
Qu Ke hugged her bag and got into the car. Right now her presence alone was enough to keep ordinary guys from messing with her. Only Phillip, with no sense of self-preservation, liked to tease her verbally. If she were old enough to get a driver’s license, she’d be the one driving to pick him up.
“I’ll drop the stuff off to my friend first,” Phillip said as he started the car, looking ahead. “Wow, that guy walks way too fast—does he fly or what? Oh right, come to think of it, you’ve even eaten his cooking before.”
Qu Ke tilted her head, thinking. “Have I?”
“That lunchbox last time. You even praised it. Strange…” Phillip drove on for a bit, looking around but seeing no one. “Where did Fatty run off to? Why would he suddenly bolt like that? Could it be diarrhea? No—must be because you’re too ugly and scared him off…”
The man stood at the mouth of the alley, watching the car pass in front of him. He followed it with his eyes for a while before turning back. She really had grown up. She was nothing like when she used to trail behind him—now she looked like a grown young woman. Just watching her made him feel happy.
On the days he couldn’t see his daughter, he always thought of her. Even knowing they might never meet again, he still wanted to buy her things. Those things could never be given to her, but holding them in his hands made him feel as if he still had a daughter—just a little hope he created for himself.
After walking a bit, he suddenly heard a little girl behind him shout, “Daddy!”
Qu Tongqiu spun around in alarm. It turned out to be a father carrying a two- or three-year-old girl, holding an umbrella and walking hurriedly. He hadn’t even noticed her little shoe had fallen off. Only when she called out did he rush back to pick it up.
Back when it was just him raising Qu Ke alone, he was always this clumsy too. He’d scald her feeding her porridge, make her fall when taking her to school. When she cried, his own heart hurt along with hers. When he applied medicine, father and daughter would cling together and cry. Life was so fragile—how hard it was to grow up safely. Thankfully, she had grown up now.
Only he wouldn’t see her graduate from university, wouldn’t see her get married, wouldn’t see her with her own child.
Thinking of that made him feel as if he’d lived his life for nothing.
“Daddy.”
That single word made Qu Tongqiu’s legs go weak. He didn’t quite dare to turn around. Hesitating, he sensed someone catching up from behind. Even without being sure, he tightened the straps of his bag and ran forward in big strides, as if fleeing for his life.
“Daddy!”
The voice was unmistakably clear. Qu Tongqiu ran on, but gradually he couldn’t run anymore. He was usually able to carry heavy loads for long distances, yet now his legs felt soft, forcing him to slow down, dragging his steps.
The moment his pace faltered, his waist was suddenly wrapped in arms from behind. The force nearly knocked him off balance.
“Daddy!”
Qu Tongqiu’s throat tightened. After a moment, he said, “Y-you’ve got the wrong person…”
He denied it, but the person holding him made no sound, only hugged him tighter, refusing to let go. He waited for her to say something, but all he heard was choked sobbing behind him.
He wanted to speak again, to deny it properly. He had plenty of reasons not to see Qu Ke again. He was “dead.” That was a release for himself, and not without benefit for her.
But after only managing the word “you,” his throat failed him. His chest heaved, yet he couldn’t catch his breath. After holding it in for a long while, he finally whispered shakily, “You… you’ve grown up.”
Qu Ke burst into loud sobs.
He held her hand and walked for a while. Qu Ke just kept crying, unable to stop. The father’s eyes reddened, at a loss. “I-I’m sorry… it’s Dad’s fault…”
He knew her grievance. He felt guilty too. No father would fake his own death and abandon his daughter.
“Have you been doing well? Your Uncle Ren—does he treat you well?” His heart ached too much. He hurriedly reached into his pockets for those things. “This, this is what Dad bought for you, look…”
Qu Ke cried for a long time before she slowly calmed down. Her eyes were so swollen she could barely open them. Qu Tongqiu couldn’t find a tissue no matter how he searched, so he could only wipe her tears with his hand. “Don’t cry anymore. Sigh, this is bad for your eyes…”
Sniffling, Qu Ke said, “I’m not dreaming again, am I, Dad?”
“No…”
“I always have dreams like this. When I wake up, I know it’s not real.”
Qu Tongqiu hurriedly grasped her hand. “No. Look—Dad’s hand is warm. Dreams aren’t like this.”
The father and daughter returned to where he lived now. The place was small and shabby, but at least it was clean and tidy. Qu Ke had been living a good life this past year, but sitting on the chair Qu Tongqiu brought for her, looking around, she seemed genuinely happy.
“Here, have some water,” Qu Tongqiu bustled about taking care of her. “Is plain water too bland? Want a little sugar? Are you hungry? I’ve got some biscuits here—should I fry you an egg?”
Qu Ke ate while still talking. “Dad, this really isn’t a dream, right? Do eggs burn in dreams?”
Qu Tongqiu felt a little embarrassed. “Of course not…”
After eating, the father and daughter sat leaning against each other. Both of them had calmed down a bit, no longer as flustered as at first. In this shabby little room, a trace of happiness quietly grew. Qu Tongqiu’s hand was held by Qu Ke. She spread his palm open and looked at the calluses there.
“Dad, have you been having a really hard time?”
“Not really…”
“But it’s okay. I’ll support you in the future. I can already make money now.”
Qu Tongqiu was startled. “Really? Are you working part-time? Your studies and your health matter most. If your allowance is enough, you don’t need to work. If it’s not enough, I also have—”
“I’m not working part-time. I’m investing. I’ve already earned my first pot of gold.”
Qu Tongqiu stared at her in disbelief. “What?”
“It’s true. Using the savings you left me, I’ve already multiplied it several times.”
Qu Tongqiu found it hard to believe. “Th-this much…”
Qu Ke spoke with a childlike hint of pride. “So when I graduate from university, maybe I’ll already be able to buy a place for you to live in.”
Qu Tongqiu was both surprised and proud. “You’re already so capable… Sigh, Dad’s never been very able. For you to turn out so promising, it really is…”
He wanted to say something like “a fine shoot from poor bamboo,” but then he thought of whose genes this exceptionally intelligent child had inherited. The brightness of his joy dimmed a little.
Qu Ke noticed his sudden silence. “Dad?”
“Hmm?”
“Why did you leave us back then?”
This was the question he was least able to answer.
“Did you stop wanting me?”
The father hurriedly tightened his grip on his daughter’s hand. “No.”
After a quiet moment, Qu Ke asked again, “Was it because of Uncle Ren?”
Qu Tongqiu almost jumped in shock. He lowered his head anxiously to look at her, and Qu Ke was looking right back at him.
“I can feel it, Dad.”
He wanted to ask what she knew, yet he was afraid to know.
They sat in silence for a while before Qu Ke asked, “Do you hate Uncle Ren?”
Qu Tongqiu couldn’t answer. He only reached out and patted her head.
That night, Qu Ke refused to go back and insisted on sleeping there. Qu Tongqiu spread bedding on the floor beside the low bed, letting her sleep on the bed while he slept on the floor. As she drifted off, Qu Ke still held his hand and said, “Don’t disappear again while I’m asleep, Dad.”
Even Qu Tongqiu slept soundly that night. With his little daughter beside him, most of the wounds in his heart felt soothed.
No matter whose blood ran in Qu Ke’s veins, as long as she was willing to depend on him for life, that was more than enough for him. He needed even less now than before. He felt that he lacked nothing.
In his dream, he was still with his daughter, back when she was very small—playing by his feet, catching grasshoppers in the weeds. He tied flowers into her braids. The weather was fine. Someone else sat nearby, smiling as they watched them. When he saw the face clearly, it was Ren Ningyuan.
Qu Tongqiu woke with a start. It was already broad daylight.
Qu Ke was still sleeping soundly. Qu Tongqiu carefully withdrew his hand, got up, and went to make breakfast for her. He didn’t plan to set up his stall today; he wanted to spend more time with his daughter.
His mood felt light. Even the dim sunlight in the semi-basement made everything seem bright. Even his hatred toward Ren Ningyuan had faded by more than half. When people recover what they’ve lost, they tend to become especially generous.
Qu Ke soon got up as well. There was no private bathroom in the basement, so she had to go to the shared washroom to brush her teeth, lining up to use the tap. Qu Tongqiu hurried over with hot water, pouring some into her cup and basin.
“The water’s too cold in the morning. Warm water cleans better.”
“No need, Dad. Brushing with hot water isn’t good for your teeth.”
“Oh, is that so…”
“And washing your face with hot water makes your skin sag.”
“I see… You know more than Dad now.”
Even in these simple little exchanges, he felt happy. Qu Tongqiu went back inside and set out breakfast for her. After she finished eating, he said, “Just leave the dishes. I’ll wash them.”
As he washed the dishes at the sink, in the midst of this ordinary, simple happiness, a worry crept up on him again. His previous life could only be called “survival.” Now he had to think about “living.”
With Qu Ke around, he couldn’t keep living here.
Here, even taking a shower was a problem. You had to pay to enter the bathhouse. Normally, he boiled some water himself and carried it to the toilet to rinse off. In cold weather, he’d shiver the whole time. In summer, it was stifling and damp. Living there long-term would give you rheumatism. There were mosquitoes and flies everywhere, mold growing all over the room— even on toothbrushes.
When it was just him, none of this seemed like a big deal. But letting Qu Ke live like this made all this poverty and inconvenience loom large, leaving him uneasy.
Qu Ke was smart and would amount to something in the future, but right now she was still a child. He was the one who had to provide. Living alone, any job would do. But raising a top student at a major university—running a street stall was not a long-term solution.
Qu Tongqiu couldn’t help feeling cramped and powerless in the face of real life.
The father and daughter went for a walk in a corner of the residential area aboveground to get some air. The sun was rare and bright, the breeze gentle. They walked hand in hand when Qu Ke suddenly said, “Dad, does Uncle Ren already know about you?”
“Mm…”
Qu Ke frowned. “No wonder he’s been acting strange lately. Then why didn’t he tell me?”
“I asked him not to.”
Without realizing it, Qu Tongqiu was already making excuses for Ren Ningyuan.
“Why?”
Again, he couldn’t answer. If he kept the truth from Qu Ke, there were many things he simply couldn’t explain clearly.
He also didn’t want to speak badly of Ren Ningyuan in front of her.
In fact, he had never spoken a single bad word about Ren Ningyuan to anyone. All the wrongs Ren Ningyuan had done to him—he had never thought of telling others, never sought sympathy or support. Somehow, it felt like those things belonged only between the two of them.
Qu Tongqiu could only change the subject. “By the way, that day when Little P drove to pick you up—what is he to you? Your boyfriend?”
“You mean Le Fei? Of course not. He’s Uncle Ren’s cousin’s nephew, so we’re just familiar. Him—hmph.”
With a father’s instinct, Qu Tongqiu felt that her little “hmph” wasn’t really disdain, but something ambiguously defensive. Thinking of how he was anxious to cut ties with Ren Ningyuan, only to find things becoming more complicated, he grew even more uneasy.
“Do you really want to live with me?”
“Of course, Dad.”
“And then stop contacting Ren Ningyuan?”
Qu Ke made a small sound of surprise. “You don’t want to stay in touch with Uncle Ren anymore?”
Qu Tongqiu looked troubled. “I… don’t get along with him.”
“If there’s something wrong, Uncle Ren can change,” Qu Ke paused. “He really misses you. If we lived together again like before, he’d be very happy.”
Qu Tongqiu could only force himself to say, “I don’t want to live with him. I also don’t want to see him again.”
Qu Ke didn’t insist anymore. She walked silently for a while before saying softly, “That would be too pitiful for Uncle Ren.”
Qu Tongqiu was surprised. After a moment’s delay, he realized that Qu Ke and Ren Ningyuan had already formed a deep bond. Even before his “death,” the two of them had been very close.
He believed that Ren Ningyuan had never snatched anything from him behind his back, and that Qu Ke’s filial devotion and longing for him were also completely sincere.
It was just that Qu Ke, without even needing to know anything, would instinctively protect Ren Ningyuan rather than him. The goodwill and closeness between those two came naturally, as if by instinct.
The moment he thought of the phrase “blood is thicker than water,” it felt like someone had landed a heavy punch square in his chest, shaking everything inside him until it wavered.
He hated Ren Ningyuan for deceiving him—and yet he himself had deceived Qu Ke as well.
He knew clearly that life with him would never mean a grand house or luxury cars for Qu Ke, only a damp, chilly basement, clothes in the corridor that never quite dried, neighbors of all sorts mixed together, and a father who scraped by running a street stall.
And he had not even dared to give her a real choice. He had let her believe that he was her father, that this was the only kind of life she could accept.
He was no different from Ren Ningyuan—both of them, in order to obtain what they desperately wanted, could not help but deceive others.
And when the truth finally came out one day, perhaps Qu Ke would hate him just as deeply as he hated Ren Ningyuan.
“Actually, Uncle Ren has always been very good to us. When you weren’t around, he volunteered to be my guardian. He treated me like family and arranged everything for me.
“No matter what mistakes I made, he never once got angry with me. Apart from you, Dad, there’s no one else who’s taken care of me like that.”
Qu Tongqiu suddenly wondered—could he really keep this hidden? Maybe for five years, ten years, Qu Ke wouldn’t find out. But what about twenty years? A lifetime?
Or even if Qu Ke never knew the truth, could he really win against the instinct between a biological father and daughter? No matter how much he pretended to be her father, as she grew older she would instinctively feel that Ren Ningyuan was better, closer.
“Dad, did Uncle Ren do something wrong? Didn’t you like him a lot before?”
“……”
“You taught me from when I was little that I should repay him in the future. Back when we lived together, you were always very happy,” Qu Ke weighed her words carefully. “I know Uncle Ren might not be a ‘good person’ in the traditional sense. He does some things that are hard for you to accept. But Dad, have you ever thought about trying to accept him?”
“……”
“Someone like Uncle Ren—once you miss him, you’ll never meet another like him.”
“……”
“Being with Uncle Ren feels like being a real family. Don’t you think so, Dad?”
Qu Tongqiu looked at Qu Ke. In a daze, everything felt distant, the sunlight dimmed, and though he was still holding her hand and walking forward, he felt his insides rattling and shaking, as if something had shattered.
“After we eat, I’ll take you back,” he said.
“Dad?”
“Living with Ren Ningyuan suits you better.”
Qu Ke looked flustered. “Dad…”
Qu Tongqiu suddenly said, “I’m not your dad.”
Qu Ke’s eyes flew wide open. She didn’t make a sound, holding it in, and only after a while did she speak cautiously. “Dad, don’t be mad at me. I was just saying it casually…”
“I’m not saying this in anger.” Even as he said it, his own vision blurred.
Qu Ke’s eyes widened even more.
“I couldn’t have given birth to you,” he said, his throat feeling blocked as if something were stuck there. “I’m AB type. Your mom and I are both ordinary Rh-positive blood.”
The little girl’s face instantly turned pale. She stared straight at him, unable to speak.
“Your Uncle Ren—he’s your real father.”
Qu Ke still stared at him with round eyes, thinking it must be a joke. But the man’s eyes were already red, and tears slowly flowed from the corners of his eyes, where fine lines had begun to form.
Those tears were like something burning her. Qu Ke suddenly pulled her hand back, stumbled two steps backward, then turned and ran away as fast as she could.
