Chapter 26
It was nearly dark when Qu Tongqiu finally got out of bed. He dressed by feel, habitually made the bed, tidied the room, then boiled some water and cooked himself a bowl of noodles. He sat at the table and ate slowly.
In the silence, there was only the dull sound of eating noodles, and the barely audible ticking of the clock on the wall. From today on, he would live alone. He had to get used to this quiet.
After eating, he washed the bowl, then sat with his hands on his knees, lost in thought for a long time.
The path his life had taken was completely wrong, so he chose another one—and that, too, turned out to be wrong. In these unending mistakes and failures, he gradually could no longer straighten his back.
He had always lived simply, like an old ox. Once the plow was hitched, he just moved forward, stopping only when the sun went down. After eating the rough feed he was given, another day passed—day after day.
He only knew that life required effort. As long as you worked hard, things would be fine. You would surely live well.
In the end, what he got was a check.
Qu Tongqiu pressed a hand to the wallet in his pocket and stared out the window, dark circles heavy around his eyes. He was wearing his best set of clothes, but because he couldn’t hold himself up anymore, his whole body looked even thinner and more hollow.
The phone suddenly rang. After a few rings, it switched to voicemail. When Zhuang Wei’s voice finished saying “Please leave a message,” there came a subtle stretch of emptiness—quiet, with a faint rustling sound.
Qu Tongqiu vaguely heard a familiar breathing sound. For a moment, it felt like an illusion, and he strained to listen. The breathing grew clearer, then turned into a familiar, childish voice.
“Dad.”
It was like being struck by lightning. The man froze instantly, his back going rigid.
“Dad, are you doing okay now? I’m living at Uncle Ren’s place. He treats me very well and takes good care of me. I’ve gained some weight, and I’ve grown taller too. Last semester, my overall final ranking was first in the class. Dad, I’m going to take more courses, finish school earlier, then I can work and earn money. You won’t have to pay my tuition anymore…”
The little girl’s voice became cautious and quieter.
“Dad…”
Qu Tongqiu held his breath, staring fixedly at the phone, his mouth unconsciously slightly open, not daring to move.
With a sob in her voice, the girl said, “Dad, do you not want me anymore?”
“…”
“I miss you, Dad…”
Qu Tongqiu’s whole body began to tremble. When he stood up, he almost tripped, scrambling to the phone in a panic. But he was just a moment too late—the message had ended, and the line was cut.
He squatted in front of the phone as if in a dream.
He still had his little daughter. She was still thinking of him.
It was as if a final beam of light had appeared in the darkness. That sudden hope of life made him shiver, almost unable to believe it.
The surface of the phone had fogged over from his hot, eager breath as he hovered close. He was still waiting, unsure whether he should call back. He thought of his daughter—perhaps she still thought of him as her only father. She hadn’t become Ren Ningyuan’s daughter. She was still willing to live with him, even if life would be poor, even if they would have to endure many hardships together.
As he waited, his hand unconsciously pressed against the pocket holding his wallet. Inside was a check—hardly honorable, but enough to cover his daughter’s future overseas education. Even his cold palm began to warm.
The phone rang again. After just one ring, he hurriedly picked it up, clutching the receiver, his voice trembling despite himself.
“Hello? Little Ke?”
There was a brief pause on the other end, then a low voice.
“Qu Tongqiu.”
It was as if he had been frozen. He instantly lost all movement and sound.
“You should know by now. Little Ke is still thinking about you.”
“…”
“You haven’t seen her for a long time. I know you really want to see her. In fact, she needs you very much.”
The man didn’t speak. Only the veins on the hand gripping the receiver stood out sharply.
There was a slight pause on the other end. “I also need you—to help me take care of her. I can’t manage it well on my own.”
“…”
“Maybe you want to take her away. But that wouldn’t be good for her or for you, so I won’t agree.”
The man’s Adam’s apple moved up and down. Bulging veins stood out clearly on his forehead and the backs of his hands.
“You also understand—she can live very well with me. And if you could come and stay with her…”
His eyes red, Qu Tongqiu ground his teeth. “Ren Ningyuan.”
The other side fell silent, as if waiting.
“Don’t… use her like this…”
Ren Ningyuan was quiet for a moment. “Don’t you want to live with her?”
Qu Tongqiu gasped for breath for a while before forcing out the words. “I… will soon… be going to America…”
Another brief silence, then a tone tinged with pity.
“Chu Mo already told me. He’s with Zhuang Wei now.”
The man said nothing more. A dead stillness fell, one without sound.
“You need Little Ke,” Ren Ningyuan paused again. “Qu Tongqiu, why don’t we let the past stay in the past. Let’s start over.”
There was not a single sound from the other end of the line.
“I’ll come get you. Wait for me.”
Ren Ningyuan took longer than expected to reach Zhuang Wei’s apartment. In rainy traffic, no one had any privilege. The doorbell rang for a long time with no response. When the landlord was finally called to open the door, the apartment was pitch-dark. Qu Tongqiu was already gone.
They couldn’t find him again.
When the three of them stood facing each other inside the room, beyond the unspeakable awkwardness, each carried subtle emotions of their own. Zhuang Wei spoke stiffly:
“He could have stayed until next month.”
“It doesn’t really make much difference,” Ren Ningyuan said. “Leaving early or late, it’s still leaving. Don’t dwell on it. He had his wallet on him—so long as he has money and ID, nothing will happen.
“Even if he was hit hard, it’s not like he can’t live on. He’s a grown man; he knows how to take care of himself. Besides, he didn’t take clothes or luggage—he might come back in a few days.”
Ren Ningyuan showed little expression. “I’ve already reported it. I’ve also had people looking these past two days. There’ll be news soon.”
Zhuang Wei looked up at him. “Ningyuan, can you let him rest for once? He simply can’t face you. You know that. You already forced him out of here—are you not satisfied until you force him to somewhere even we can’t find?”
“There’s no place that can’t be found,” Ren Ningyuan replied calmly. “As long as he’s still in this city, even if he’s hiding underground, I can dig him out.”
Zhuang Wei stood up. “What exactly do you want to do to him? What does he owe you that you have to force him like this?”
Ren Ningyuan didn’t answer. His phone rang in his pocket. He took it out and glanced at it. When he answered, his expression eased slightly. “Hello. Any news?”
In fact, they had all seen this news in the papers.
Continuous rainfall had severely affected road conditions, and with the temperature dropping, the roads suddenly iced over. Late at night, a chain-reaction accident occurred on the highway leaving the city. Many were seriously injured.
One taxi was rear-ended by a heavy truck and was almost flattened beneath its wheels. The driver was fortunately rescued, but the passenger in the back seat died on the spot. Under the enormous impact and crushing weight, the scene was horrific—almost unrecognizable.
At breakfast, as they drank coffee and read the newspaper, they had all seen the photo from the accident scene. The wreckage was terrifying; the inside was unimaginable. They sighed, a little—but only that.
Now, identifying the body as the deceased’s relatives, that tragedy which had seemed distant and faint through a thin sheet of newspaper suddenly loomed huge and immediate before them, leaving them all stiff.
“These are the deceased’s personal belongings.”
The torn clothes, the watch, the wallet—all painfully familiar. The worn ID card. A small amount of cash. And a bloodstained check, bearing Zhuang Wei’s own signature. He even remembered the feeling when he had written that number.
None of the three spoke. In the silence, even breathing felt stiff, as though any sound would shatter the frozen calm.
The staff pulled open the cold storage drawer. The other two still didn’t move. Chu Mo glanced inside once, his face turning deathly pale, and hurriedly turned his head away. Zhuang Wei stared with reddened eyes, his teeth gradually grinding together.
“We forced him away,” Zhuang Wei shouted at Ren Ningyuan through the pain, hating his own moment of wavering. “You force him until he couldn’t stay here. You’re really something—you can turn all of T City upside down, leave him nowhere to hide. Are you satisfied now?!”
Ren Ningyuan said nothing. He showed no expression, looking at the man lying inside. His face didn’t move at all, only seeming to age in an instant.
“No. It’s not him.”
“Yes, not him. You have no responsibility at all—this has nothing to do with you, right?!” Zhuang Wei roared. “You don’t need to feel guilty, no need for a conscience. Just pretend he’s off somewhere enjoying himself. Now kindly get the hell out, will you?!”
Ren Ningyuxan still didn’t move or speak, frozen in place, looking down at the battered corpse.
Zhuang Wei lost control completely. “Are you still deceiving yourself?! Still shirking responsibility? How long are you going to pretend? Ha! You’re relieved now, aren’t you? No need to compensate anyone anymore—go live your good life with your daughter! ”
Chu Mo grabbed him. “Zhuang Wei, stop it! He’s hurting too!”
“What’s he hurting about?” Zhuang Wei yelled. “He just lost a dog! He used everything he could—now he doesn’t even need to compensate anymore, he should be thrilled! Qu Tongqiu was blind to follow him, worship him like a god! Bastard—didn’t even leave him a way out…”
“Zhuang Wei…”
Only after a long time did Ren Ningyuan lift his head and look at him. “When you were with him, did you treat him kindly?”
It wasn’t an accusation—just a question.
Zhuang Wei clenched his teeth, his eyes red, unable to answer. After a long while, he said, “That’s right. I’m a bastard too.”
Ren Ningyuan looked again at the silent, broken man, gazing as if he were merely asleep, then asked softly, “Did he… not have time to feel the pain?”
“…”
“That’s good.”
Perhaps that was the easiest moment of his entire life.
A small, trembling figure who had been toyed with again and again—maybe he really had no reason to keep existing. Everything he could offer had already been taken.
They bought him a plot in the public cemetery, so he could finally have a better rest.
At the end, no one knew what to write on the epitaph. Everyone fell silent. This person truly didn’t deserve much praise—he had never succeeded. His idols were fake. His friends were fake. His lover was fake. His daughter was fake.
But he deserved a better epitaph. After all, each of them had, more or less, taken from him what they needed. He was cowardly, useless—but at least he had not failed any of them.
In the end, it was Ren Ningyuan who wrote it:
“This was a long, good life.”
In life, he owed him a complete and beautiful lie.
In death, it should be repaid.
After the funeral, everything returned to normal.
Even in grief, without him, they were still themselves. Life was still life.
He was simply too insignificant. He left almost no trace behind.
As if he had never existed.
—End—
Translator’s Note:
This marks the end of the first part of the novel.
I always come back to this story whenever I need a good cry. I’ve seen some negative comments saying they dislike the male lead, but honestly, I find him very relatable. Not everyone in life is meant to be the main character, and he realizes this very early on. He may be a coward, but he never hurts anyone, never complains, and never owes anyone anything—if anything, others owe him. Every time I reread this novel, I feel heartbroken by how unfairly the world treats him, and all I want is to give him a big hug and comfort him.
The next part of the series will be released on July 19 (one month from now), so stay tuned. Don’t worry—this novel does have a happy ending, and Qu Tongqiu will receive the happiness he truly deserves.
