Chapter 17
What made Qu Tongqiu feel both flattered and overwhelmed was that Ren Ningyuan seemed to be treating him better and better. After returning from vacation, not only did he let him continue living at home and help him in daily life due to his limited mobility, he also gave him some clothes, and even passed on a wristwatch of the same style that he had bought twice by mistake.
Qu Tongqiu was overjoyed. He wore all the old clothes Ren Ningyuan gave him—big pieces, small pieces—and wore the same-style watch every day, so pleased he felt like he was bubbling.
Chu Mo, who had disappeared for a while, returned from the United States and asked Ren Ningyuan out for a meal. Ren Ningyuan brought Qu Tongqiu along as well.
When the three met in a private room, Chu Mo’s face immediately darkened when he saw him. After looking him up and down, he frowned. “Putting on airs, are you? Where did you get this outfit? Someone like you wearing a Jaeger-LeCoultre? That coat is Ningyuan’s, right? There can’t be a second one. How did it end up on you?”
Qu Tongqiu was happy talking about this and quickly tugged at the hem. “Yeah, Ren Ningyuan gave it to me. The watch too.”
Ren Ningyuan’s personal things carried a different meaning from what you could buy in a store—treasures money couldn’t buy.
Chu Mo rolled his eyes. “Picking up Ningyuan’s leftovers and you’re this happy? It doesn’t even suit you. What are you so pleased about?”
Ren Ningyuan sat down at the table and smiled. “Why be so harsh with him?”
“Because he looks cheap.”
Ren Ningyuan frowned. “Don’t talk like that. He didn’t offend you.” He glanced at the embarrassed Qu Tongqiu. “Don’t mind it. Eat first.”
Chu Mo sneered. “How did he not offend me? He’s slept with Zhuang Wei. How do you expect me to be polite to him?”
Qu Tongqiu was so shocked that he nearly dropped his chopsticks. He had always been afraid Chu Mo would find out and had felt uneasy when entering, never expecting Chu Mo to already know everything. Thinking about it carefully, it was only natural—their relationship was far closer than his with Ren Ningyuan. He was the outsider. There were only things they knew that he didn’t, never the other way around.
“Didn’t you two break up a long time ago? Besides, you’ve had plenty of romantic affairs yourself. Why care so much?”
Chu Mo said bluntly, “Those are two different things. No matter what happens between me and Zhuang Wei, I can’t be happy knowing he’s had a physical relationship with someone else. That’s a man’s nature, right? I’m not as generous as you.”
Ren Ningyuan only smiled. “You’re going too far. If you can’t let go, go chase Zhuang Wei back early. Tongqiu is an honest person—if Zhuang Wei wants to get his hands on him, it wouldn’t be hard. Don’t end up regretting it.”
“It’s all in the past. Why would I chase him?” Chu Mo glanced at Qu Tongqiu again, anger rising. “Are you even a man? You’ve got hands and feet—can’t you resist? If you really didn’t want him to have you, even if you couldn’t beat him, you could still stop it! I think you wanted to do it with him!”
“Chu Mo, enough.”
“Looking at how useless he is just pisses me off. What kind of person is he, still so worthless at this age? Lived his years like a dog.”
“Chu Mo.”
“Fine, fine, enough. We’re here to eat and talk business. Let’s not mention him.”
The two of them talked about serious matters, and Qu Tongqiu became a complete outsider. He listened in a fog and could only eat.
What Chu Mo said wasn’t entirely wrong, so he could only listen without rebuttal. In the past, he really hadn’t done well. That night when he was assaulted by Zhuang Wei, he felt pain and regret. If he could go back, he would even hit that drunk, defenseless version of himself, to wake that fool up.
Like most ordinary people, all he had was wisdom after the fact. In the moment of crisis, his response was mediocre.
But that was okay. He felt he could take it step by step, just like his relationship with Ren Ningyuan. As long as he tried, everything would eventually get better little by little. Ren Ningyuan made him full of hope for the future.
With nothing else to do besides eating, and seeing that Ren Ningyuan barely moved his chopsticks, Qu Tongqiu took it upon himself to peel shrimp for him, blanch vegetables, dip them in sauce, and the like. The heating was turned up too high in the room. Although everyone had taken off their coats as soon as they came in, sitting there for a while still made them sweat. The food was hot as well. Sweat appeared on Ren Ningyuan’s forehead. He wasn’t the sort who would keep stripping layers off, so Qu Tongqiu dutifully fanned him, trying to bring a bit of cool air.
Chu Mo finally rolled his eyes in disgust. “You look like a servant.”
“I’m not,” Qu Tongqiu said.
“And you still dare say you’re not? One more cut and you’d be a eunuch. What, are you Ningyuan’s pet dog?”
Ren Ningyuan put down his chopsticks. “Chu Mo, stop picking on him.”
“He’s already like this—do I really need to ‘pick’?” Chu Mo shot Qu Tongqiu another glare. “You’d better watch yourself. If you ever fall into my hands, I’ll torture you to death.”
Qu Tongqiu shivered at his words.
“That’s enough,” Ren Ningyuan said. “Why are you targeting him? The people under you—how decent are they? Forget peeling shrimp, they’d even feed you if you let them.”
Chu Mo laughed at that. “Damn it, don’t gross me out! Not one or two of that bunch even look presentable.”
“Zhuang Wei’s been back for a while now, hasn’t he? When’s he coming again?”
“Next week. Once the domestic side gets that magazine on track, he won’t have to run back and forth anymore.”
The conversation returned to business, and the two of them continued talking. Qu Tongqiu only then thought of what he should have said to argue back against Chu Mo, but the moment had already passed. People who weren’t good with words always suffered like this.
What he wanted to say was that what he did for Ren Ningyuan was utterly insignificant compared to what Ren Ningyuan had done for him.
Ren Ningyuan looked after him; he served Ren Ningyuan. Their goodwill toward each other was balanced—give and take.
It was just that Ren Ningyuan stood high and he stood low, so it looked humble. Outsiders might say unpleasant things, but he himself felt it was quite good, quite equal. Perhaps the standards of small people were different from those of great ones.
He truly felt it was good.
After his medical leave ended, Qu Tongqiu returned to work. After resting for so long, doing nothing but eating and sleeping every day, he had gained a little weight and his body had recovered well.
But perhaps because he had been idle for too long, even though he slept well at night, he still couldn’t get up the next morning and always felt drowsy. Before, he mostly woke up naturally and didn’t feel much difference. Now that he had to get up early for work, that lingering fatigue really bothered him.
That day, because he was so groggy, he nearly arrived late. He ran all the way to clock in, only to bump into someone at the elevator. Coffee spilled all over him.
He was wearing his own cheap clothes that day, so getting them dirty didn’t matter much. But the watch and briefcase Ren Ningyuan had given him were like talismans—he never left them behind. The bag could be wiped clean, but the watch strap was stained. It pained him so much that he couldn’t work properly all morning, his heart in a mess, feeling terribly sorry toward Ren Ningyuan.
After work, he carried the watch to a boutique to see if they could help clean it. He had never come alone to a luxury store like this before. Stepping inside, he felt a bit of a poor man’s nervousness and wanted to observe how others did things first.
After standing there for a while, he saw a fair-skinned, curly-haired, beautiful woman speaking with the clerk at the counter. She looked quite young and sweet, her voice soft and sugary. Qu Tongqiu felt she looked familiar, but he couldn’t recall where he’d seen her.
As he was racking his brain, another clerk came out holding a box and said politely, “Miss Chu, sorry to keep you waiting.”
Qu Tongqiu let out an “ah.” The vague memory instantly became clear, and he blurted out, “Chu Qian.”
The woman turned around at the sound and looked at him, puzzled. “You are…?”
The moment he said it, Qu Tongqiu regretted it. To be honest, they weren’t familiar at all—this wasn’t some reunion of old friends. If he hadn’t spoken, she wouldn’t have recognized him. Besides, that memory was truly embarrassing.
“Hello, I’m Qu Tongqiu.” Since he’d already greeted her, he had to say something properly.
“Uh…”
“We… met before. That is, I went to the same university as your brother. I once took you to a bar…”
“Ah!” The woman—over thirty yet still as delicate as a young girl—covered her mouth in surprise. “It’s you! You’ve changed so much, I really didn’t recognize you.”
“Yes, it’s been quite a few years. It’s already impressive that you remember.”
Chu Qian laughed. “Of course I remember. After we went back, my brother scolded me terribly and sent me home. For a long time after that, he wouldn’t let me go to bars at all.”
“Mmm. Those places aren’t good.” He could speak calmly about it now, but still felt somewhat uncomfortable.
What had happened to him had left a shadow for life. Yet when Chu Qian mentioned the past, there wasn’t the slightest gloom—she even found it amusing. That made it hard for him to respond.
“Thanks for protecting me back then. I never got the chance to thank you in person.”
“It’s nothing.” In truth, that was just a man’s basic duty. He had simply been unlucky.
“You were okay afterward, right?”
Qu Tongqiu froze. “What?”
“I mean, that one drink seemed to knock you completely out. Nothing happened after that, right?”
He felt something was off about her question but couldn’t immediately say what. After thinking for a moment, panic suddenly crept in.
“You’re asking me? …Weren’t you there at the time too?”
“Yes. I was the one who called my brother to carry you back. You were totally out of control then, and I couldn’t drag you by myself…”
It was probably late. Ren Ningyuan called him several times. Qu Tongqiu stuffed his phone into his pocket, his palms sweating, not daring to answer. Suddenly, he felt afraid to go back.
He was still wearing the odds and ends of clothes Ren Ningyuan had given him. Whenever Ren Ningyuan gave him something, he wore it all like a talisman, layered from head to toe, reluctant to take anything off. He carried that briefcase every day and had never switched it.
He treasured Ren Ningyuan’s kindness deeply, happily thinking that maybe, after spending so much time together, feelings naturally grew between people. But now, a faint fear crept into his heart.
He had never once doubted a single word Ren Ningyuan said. About the things that caused him bone-deep pain, when Ren Ningyuan told him not to worry, he truly stopped pursuing them, never even asking whether Ren Ningyuan had avenged him or not.
He never thought Ren Ningyuan was just placating him, nor would he allow himself to imagine that Ren Ningyuan had been helping someone else brush him off.
That would mean even his wholehearted, simple trust had been in vain.
When he was young, being violated—that humiliating, terrifying experience—had kept his head lowered for a long time, making him feel he was no longer a man. He would wake from his sleep in fright.
Only after so many years did he realize it had been done by someone he knew. It was like the most horrible nightmare he’d ever had, and he felt he would never sleep peacefully again.
All his life, he had been cautious and careful, afraid to offend anyone, only wishing for a plain and steady life. Yet at a moment like this, he was suddenly slapped twice across the face. Even someone like him, who was used to being beaten down, found it unbearable.
“Boss… give me three more bottles of beer.”
The stall owner handed the bottles to the office worker who looked utterly unsettled, took the money, and said, “If you can’t drink, then drink less. Try to think things through.”
Qu Tongqiu tilted his head back and gulped down two big mouthfuls, making himself dizzy. He wasn’t drinking to drown his sorrows—he was drinking to steel his courage, to go seek justice from Chu Mo.
But he didn’t know how much he needed to drink to gain enough courage. Back in school, he had been beaten into fear by Chu Mo. Added to that miserable assault, no matter how much he drank, his heart still trembled. He sat at the roadside stall until late at night.
Ren Ningyuan received a call late at night and rushed over. The moment he entered, he saw Chu Mo pinned on the sofa, Qu Tongqiu clumsily straddling his waist. One hand yanked at Chu Mo’s collar, the other pressed against his neck, pestering him incoherently: “Was it you… was it you…”
When sober, this man was timid and shrinking; when drunk, he was extraordinarily troublesome, as if he feared nothing at all. Using both hands and feet, he clung to Chu Mo like an octopus, impossible to shake off.
On ordinary days, Chu Mo could send him flying with a single slap. Now, however, he couldn’t handle it, tangled up until his blood surged with anger. He shouted at Ren Ningyuan, “You finally came! Hurry and take this guy back!”
The two of them worked together before they finally managed to pry Qu Tongqiu off Chu Mo.
Chu Mo’s clothes were disheveled, his breathing ragged. “In the middle of the night, what the hell is he coming to me for? You were too slow. If you’d come any later, I really wouldn’t have held back.”
Ren Ningyuan said “sorry,” but his hands showed no mercy. He forcibly pried open Qu Tongqiu’s tightly clenched fingers one by one, knocked away the bottle opener he was gripping as a weapon, and then took the emotionally out-of-control man out the door.
The man was still agitated, struggling nonstop, muttering to himself without pause. Eventually he was stuffed into the car. Even with the door closed, he kept trying to crawl out to chase Chu Mo. Ren Ningyuan had no choice but to restrain him, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him tight to keep him from making too much trouble.
When Qu Tongqiu realized he couldn’t get out of the car and couldn’t thrash around in Ren Ningyuan’s arms, he gradually sank into something like despair. He began clinging to Ren Ningyuan instead, turning all the fierce aggression he had aimed at Chu Mo onto him. Ren Ningyuan didn’t lose his temper, letting Qu Tongqiu grab onto him, slurring his words and tangling him up, pulling his clothes into a mess.
The driver stared straight ahead, driving as if completely oblivious to the chaos behind him.
After exhausting himself along the way, the man, defeated and drained, began to cry. “How could he treat me like that… I didn’t offend him… I was so careful…”
“I know.”
“Why could he treat me like that… I don’t accept it…”
“It’s okay.”
“I—I’ll kill him…”
“I know.”
The accusations and the comfort didn’t match at all, yet there was still a back-and-forth, a question and an answer. That alone soothed Qu Tongqiu, and he quieted down considerably. Ren Ningyuan managed him all the way and finally brought home, intact, this drunken, directionless, highly aggressive man. If Chu Mo had seen the entire process, he would certainly have been impressed.
Once inside, when Ren Ningyuan tried to carry him onto the bed, Qu Tongqiu was startled again and struggled violently. Ren Ningyuan couldn’t calm him down at all. After all, it was the explosive strength of a grown man in an agitated state. A sober person couldn’t outdo a drunk one. In the end, Ren Ningyuan himself was entangled and pushed down onto the bed.
The man pressed him down hard, trembling all over as if frightened, fists clenching and flailing wildly at him. Though Ren Ningyuan dodged in time, the force still made him frown. He scolded in a low voice, “Qu Tongqiu! It’s me!”
Qu Tongqiu suddenly recognized who the sweating man beneath him was. For a moment, he was utterly blank. He completely forgot what he had been raging about just now, stopped moving, and only lowered his head to stare at him in a daze.
Ren Ningyuan grabbed him and said sternly, “Get down. Now.”
Qu Tongqiu looked up at him like a frightened puppy, trembling as if afraid to offend him, staring at him without daring to move at all. Ren Ningyuan let out a breath, supported his waist, and said, “Fine. If you like it this way, then stay like this.” Taking advantage of his compliance, Ren Ningyuan freed one hand, made him open his fist, and tightly wrapped all his fingers in his palm. “From now on, you’re not allowed to be so impulsive and go around causing trouble. Understand?”
“…”
“If you don’t discuss things with me first, then you don’t need to stay by my side anymore.”
Qu Tongqiu shrank back at once, unconsciously hunching his shoulders.
Ren Ningyuan stripped away all the rare ferocity that had burst out of him, leaving nothing behind, then said, “About this matter, listen to me.”
“…”
“Chu Qian told me about running into you.”
“…”
“I think you’ve misunderstood something.”
“…”
“Chu Mo didn’t do anything to you. This has nothing to do with him.”
Qu Tongqiu was still dazed, but his taut body gradually softened, like a balloon losing air.
“So you picked the wrong person.”
“…”
“Tomorrow, go apologize to Chu Mo.”
Qu Tongqiu sat there blankly. He vaguely felt there was something he should ask, but his mind was sluggish and he couldn’t recall it. All he could do was look at Ren Ningyuan with reddened eyes. “You… you’re not lying to me, right…”
“I’m not lying.”
The man whose strength and courage had been completely used up became especially timid. After sitting there for a while longer, he began to sob. “I… I must take revenge…”
“Don’t worry. I promised you.”
“You… you’re not lying to me…”
“Rest assured.”
“You… you can’t lie to me…”
“Get a good sleep.”
Qu Tongqiu was still crying. Alcohol made emotions swing violently, and he was still not sober, even the tip of his nose turning bright red. Ren Ningyuan let out a breath and grasped his waist with both hands.
“Alright. Get down. It’s time to sleep.”
But Qu Tongqiu refused, pressing against Ren Ningyuan as if that were the only way to gain a bit of security, stubbornly unwilling to let go.
“Fine then. Take off your clothes first.”
