Switch Mode

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off – CH6

The Rescue

Chapter 6: The Rescue

Chi Xiaoxian developed a keen interest in observing Fang Yue, simply because the guy was so vastly different from him.

Not only was he the last to go to bed, but he was also the earliest to wake up. All day long, he read literature, wrote lab reports, and even managed to grade all their course papers on the side—a true model worker.

It was almost as if zombie disasters didn’t exist at all; he went about his life at his own pace, completely scorning the drastic shifts around them.

As dinner time approached, he finally shut his laptop.

Chi Xiaoxian thought this workaholic was finally planning to take a break, but Fang Yue merely drank some water before starting a workout.

Using two books laid on the floor as elevation, he did push-ups for a while. Lacking dumbbells, he picked up a 2-liter bottle of purified water and raised it for reps.

Chi Xiaoxian was flabbergasted.

The difference in energy levels between two human beings could actually be this massive.

Fang Yue’s tryhard energy even rubbed off on Zheng Yikai. Seeing him train like that, Zheng Yikai thought to himself that as a sports student, how could he lose to a guy like this? He flopped onto the floor and began pumping out push-ups, rising and falling in rhythm.

Fortunately, Fang Yue only exercised for under twenty minutes before going to shower. Otherwise, Chi Xiaoxian would have genuinely worried he’d drop dead from overexertion.

By the time Fang Yue finished showering, Zheng Yikai was still going at it, dripping with sweat and flushed in the face, showing a distinct trend of pushing himself harder and harder.

Zheng Yikai turned to Fang Yue and said, “That’s all you’re training for? And here I thought you were impressive.” To top it off, he raised an eyebrow and let out a chuckle toward Chi Xiaoxian.

Chi Xiaoxian knew the guy was trying to drag him into it. He turned his head to pretend he was chatting on Rome while keeping an eye on Fang Yue out of the corner of his eye—not wanting to stir up trouble, yet quietly curious.

“Wanna compete?” Zheng Yikai shouted to Fang Yue.

Fang Yue was toweling his hair dry. The damp fringe on his forehead caught droplets of water, making his eyes look all the cooler and brighter. He sat down at the table and opened his laptop once more.

“Didn’t you hear me talking to you?” Zheng Yikai felt ignored.

Fang Yue raised his head, his tone laced with indifference. “Our food supply is limited. I advise you to conserve your energy and not waste it on meaningless things.”

“You calling me meaningless?!” Zheng Yikai stood up abruptly.

The atmosphere turned somewhat tense and charged with conflict. Chi Xiaoxian quickly chimed in to Zheng Yikai, “Alright, alright, go take a shower. Old Chen’s dinner will be ready in a bit.”

Zheng Yikai let out a cold snort, glared at Fang Yue, and left for the shower.

After finishing dinner, Fang Yue casually collected the bowls and utensils to wash them in the kitchen. Yesterday, Chi Xiaoxian had washed the dishes; they naturally defaulted to taking turns.

Before long, Fang Yue stepped out of the kitchen. “Who ate more than today’s share?”

“Huh?” Chi Xiaoxian didn’t catch on right away.

“There are two fewer packets of instant noodles than planned, and one egg missing.” Fang Yue’s gaze swept across the three of them. “Who ate beyond the three assigned meals?”

For a moment, nobody spoke.

In the end, Old Chen broke the silence first. “It’s just eating a bit extra, it’s… it’s nothing…”

Zheng Yikai chimed in, “Exactly! Why take it so seriously? It’s not like the food belongs to your family; it’s Old Chen’s, and Old Chen spoke up himself—”

“That’s not the point,” Fang Yue said, frowning slightly. “In a crisis, the most important thing is following the new rules of survival. Food determines how long we can stay in this print shop. Finishing it a day early means having to break out into the open to search for food a day earlier. This was agreed upon by all of us yesterday, wasn’t it?”

On this point, Chi Xiaoxian agreed with Fang Yue. Provided no one was starving, saving food was currently the top priority.

Chi Xiaoxian wanted to clarify that he hadn’t sneaked any food, but doing so would make the atmosphere bizarre—turning it into mutual deflection and suspicion.

“I ate an extra packet of noodles,” Zheng Yikai blurted out suddenly. “There’s nothing shameful to admit. It’s not that big of a deal, so stop making people out to be thieves!”

“Just one packet?” Fang Yue pressed on.

“What the fuck do you mean?!” Zheng Yikai grabbed Fang Yue’s collar in a flash. “You don’t believe me?!”

Fang Yue clamped down on Zheng Yikai’s wrist, forcefully peeling his hand off. His voice remained as calm as ever. “I am simply double-checking.”

Zheng Yikai hadn’t expected him to be so strong. Unwilling to back down, he snapped with a harsh edge, “I ate what I ate! What’s the difference between admitting to one packet or two?! If you ask me, your own math is garbage and you’re blaming it on me!”

“There’s no need to blow your top at me. Please conserve your strength.”

These words were undoubtedly fuel to the fire. Fuming with rage, Zheng Yikai pulled back his fist and aimed it straight at Fang Yue.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t fight!” Old Chen hurriedly stepped in to pull Zheng Yikai back. “It’s just a packet or two of noodles. Not worth it, really not worth it. It might’ve been me accidentally throwing in an extra packet while cooking last night.”

“Don’t cover for him!” Zheng Yikai was still in the heat of his temper. “This guy’s an ungrateful wretch—eating someone else’s food while complaining they took extra from his share—”

Breaking free from Old Chen’s grip, he threw a punch toward Fang Yue. Fang Yue tilted his head aside to dodge, and Zheng Yikai’s fist slammed into the wall, making a heavy, dull thud.

Zheng Yikai gasped from the pain. Just as he moved to throw a second hit, abnormal sounds suddenly surfaced from the surrounding area.

Tap, tap, tap, tap. Hurried footsteps.

Schhh— The sound of a metal pipe dragging along the ground.

Along with low, spine-chilling snarls.

The three people inside the room fell instantly silent, holding their breath to listen to the commotion outside.

“Don’t move yet,” Fang Yue said in a low voice. “I’ll go check the situation.”

He walked lightly over to the window, lifting the thick curtain from the bottom to create a tiny slit, peeking through to look outside.

A wave of zombies was chasing two people. One was a girl in a dress, and the other was an old man wearing a dark blue uniform—likely a security guard from their school.

Fang Yue turned back and gave them a slight nod. Old Chen leaned over to take a look and immediately panicked. He wanted to yank up the rolling shutter right then and there to let them in, but Zheng Yikai pinned his hand down.

Hesitation showed on Zheng Yikai’s face. “What if we accidentally let the zombies in?”

Chi Xiaoxian reminded him, “Did you forget how the owner saved us back then?”

“This isn’t the same,” Zheng Yikai said anxiously. “This wave has way more zombies than when we ran over.”

“How about trying a distraction?” Chi Xiaoxian suddenly remembered the trick Zhang Wensheng used to save him earlier.

“I’ll go throw something. You guys find a chance to save them.”

Fang Yue reacted instantly, dashing straight up to the second floor.

Chi Xiaoxian, Old Chen, and Zheng Yikai all placed their hands on the rolling shutter’s latch. Their hearts beat furiously as they waited for Fang Yue’s signal.

Beep-beep-beep-beep! A familiar alarm tone suddenly blared sharply.

Outside, another flurry of chaotic footsteps erupted.

The moment they heard Fang Yue shout “Open up!” from upstairs, the three collaborated to pull open a crack in the rolling shutter.

The two outside, who were still somewhat bewildered, jolted at the sound of the shutter. Realizing what was happening, they sprinted over with every ounce of strength they had, scrambling and rolling under the shutter.

With a loud clatter, the rolling shutter slammed back down.

Before anyone could catch their breath, two seconds later, something slammed heavily against the shutter. More impacts followed, causing the shutter to rattle furiously with thunderous, deafening booms in the dark.

It was the zombies! They were trying to breach the door!

Nobody dared to make a sound beyond their heartbeat and breathing. No one knew how long the rolling shutter could hold out.

This wave of attack was far too fierce.

Just as their hearts leaped into their throats, another blare of beep-beep-beep-beep alarms unexpectedly erupted outside the building.

The pounding on the door diminished significantly all at once.

Half a minute later, the impacts ceased entirely.

Everyone finally breathed a collective sigh of relief.

When Fang Yue descended from upstairs, the two who had just entered were expressing their gratitude to the group.

“My name is Feng Bing, a freshman from the School of Management.”

“I’m a school security guard. Students usually call me Old Li.”

Feng Bing was still visibly shaken, patting her chest as she said, “Good thing I ran into you guys… My luck is so good—I was trapped in the dorms and saved by this security guard uncle, and now I’ve been saved by you all.”

“The dorm building? Wasn’t the main entrance to the dorm building locked?”

“No,” Feng Bing recalled with lingering fear. “I live in Building B. Building B wasn’t locked down.”

“It was supposed to be locked down, but who knew the infection started from inside the building? Everyone tried desperately to escape. Those who escaped were attacked by zombies outside, while those who couldn’t got turned into zombies themselves…”

Everyone fell silent.

At the thought of Building B being right in front of Building A where Chi Xiaoxian lived, Chi Xiaoxian wanted to use Rome to send a message to ask Zhang Wensheng about Building A’s situation, but he couldn’t find his phone anywhere.

He clearly remembered putting the phone on the folding bed, yet the bed was now completely empty.

Unable to find it upstairs, he ran downstairs to rummage around.

“Ah.” Fang Yue acted as if he had just remembered. “Apologies. Your phone was tossed outside by me just now.”

“Huh?” Chi Xiaoxian went blank for a second.

“It was an emergency. I didn’t grab my phone before going up, so I had to take yours,” Fang Yue explained. “Yours is an antique model with a loud alarm, so I set two alarms half a minute apart.”

This instantly explained why the zombies had abruptly stopped pounding on the rolling shutter—the second alarm had redirected their attention.

It had to be said that Fang Yue’s ability to pull off such a strategy in a crisis far exceeded most people’s. Swapping an antique phone for two lives was a trade well worth making.

Except now he couldn’t slack off anymore!

How was he supposed to kill time during these long days without even a phone to scroll through???

That evening, due to the arrival of two new members, Old Chen redistributed the available rooms.

There were only two rooms, and out of the five people, there wasn’t a second girl. Thus, Feng Bing had to choose to share a room with a male student so they could look out for each other in case of emergencies.

Feng Bing glanced left and right, her eyes settling on Chi Xiaoxian and Fang Yue.

After escaping the nightmare of zombies and finally settling her nerves to observe the group, she couldn’t help but marvel inwardly—two handsome guys were actually crammed inside this tiny shop.

Chi Xiaoxian appeared very approachable, speaking in a slow, easygoing manner. Fang Yue, on the other hand, was aloof and barely paid attention to anyone, though his combat prowess was clearly much higher than Chi Xiaoxian’s. He was also the one who had commanded them to flee inside earlier.

And so, the room assignments were finalized—

Old Chen and the security guard slept in Old Chen’s original room. Both old men snored, so putting them in one room meant their snoring would cancel each other out.

Fang Yue and Feng Bing slept in the room Chi Xiaoxian and Zheng Yikai had previously used, while Chi Xiaoxian and Zheng Yikai slept downstairs.

Since Old Chen and the security guard were getting on in years, they went upstairs to sleep first. Having suffered a day of fright, Feng Bing also retired to the room early, leaving only Chi Xiaoxian, Zheng Yikai, and Fang Yue on the first floor.

Zheng Yikai was on the phone with his family, Fang Yue was still working away at the desk, and Chi Xiaoxian, now phoneless, lay on a chair swinging his legs.

Because besides swinging his legs, he couldn’t find a single other thing to do.

He pulled his chair softly toward Fang Yue’s side, leaning over sluggishly. “Um…”

“If you’re not using your phone right now, could I borrow it for a bit?”

“If it’s just to play games,” Fang Yue said coldly without even looking at him, “then no.”

“No, no, I just want to ask my roommate about the situation in Building A, and call my grandmother.” Chi Xiaoxian blinked rapidly.

Fang Yue freed a hand to unlock the phone and handed it over to Chi Xiaoxian.

“Thanks.” Chi Xiaoxian received it with both hands, adopting an excessively polite demeanor. “Respected Mr. TA.”

“…Call me that one more time and it’s confiscated.”

Chi Xiaoxian quickly made a zipping motion across his mouth.

Fang Yue’s phone home screen was as clean as driven snow, with a pitifully small number of apps. Aside from Rome, almost everything else consisted of journal reading apps for research papers.

Chi Xiaoxian called his grandmother first, confirming that nothing unusual had happened on her end yet. Then, he logged into his own Rome account to chat with Zhang Wensheng for a bit.

Zhang Wensheng’s situation was roughly the same as his—lying low in his own room.

After wrapping up everything, Chi Xiaoxian saw that Fang Yue was still focused on his academic work. Unable to help himself, he surreptitiously tapped into the built-in app store on the phone.

“Done?”

A cool voice sliced near his ear. Chi Xiaoxian’s hand trembled, tapping right into a small pop-up ad inside the app store.

“Sexy live dealer dealing cards online! Party with you all night long!!”

A cloying, overly sweet female voice burst out without warning. Chi Xiaoxian frantically tapped the tiny white “X” in the top right corner. Who would have guessed the “X” was fake? Missing the mark completely, he tumbled straight into a second advertisement:

“Intimate webcam live streams from hot models! Step into the room in seconds and take full control!!”

A man named Chi Xiaoxian decided he wanted to die.


Click here to download the full novel (PDF & EPUB)

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

?????????
Score 9.1
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2024
If someone asked Chi Xiaoxian what his ideal life was like, he would definitely say:“Just look at my name and you’ll know. My dream is to live a life where I can slack off to my heart’s content.”Then, a global mutation occurred, and unfortunately, he turned into a zombie.As he watched a massive horde of zombies charge toward humanity in a spectacular frenzy, Chi Xiaoxian simply lay down lazily.The phrase “playing dead” could not have been more perfectly suited to him.Until one day, he encountered Fang Yue in the woods.One human and one zombie stared at each other.Fang Yue weighed the crowbar in his hand, wondering which angle would be best for smashing the zombie’s head, when the zombie suddenly greeted him.Chi Xiaoxian wiped the mud off his face. His eyes were astonishingly clear.“Hey, classmate. Do you remember me?”Fang Yue’s expression remained calm, but inside, a storm was raging.Chi Xiaoxian smiled faintly.“Don’t worry, I won’t eat you. But could you carry me up a tree?”“It’s cooler up there. I want to take a nap, but my limbs aren’t very flexible, so I can’t climb up myself.”Fang Yue: “???”---Many years later, after the world had finally returned to peace, a heroic legend began to circulate.—There was an incredibly powerful man who had led humanity’s defense forces to defeat the zombies, yet he had refused all recognition and remained shrouded in mystery.A certain journalist spent a fortune gathering information and eventually tracked down the hero’s residence.According to rumors, the mysterious hero lived with a remarkably young university professor who had already achieved extraordinary accomplishments in academia.The journalist eagerly went there, hoping to catch a glimpse of the legendary hero.Instead, all he saw was a human-shaped salted fish completely sunk into the sofa.Chi Xiaoxian yawned.“I watched two movies today, so I’m a little tired. How about you come back tomorrow?”Journalist: The incredibly powerful human you told me about?! Did I come to the wrong place?!After confirming the address several more times, the journalist returned the next day and continued the interview with great trepidation.“May I ask what your greatest ability is?”Chi Xiaoxian curled up on the sofa, sipping his drink as he seriously pondered the question.“…Lying around without moving?”Carefree, shamelessly lazy little zombie Chi Xiaoxian (bottom) × Brilliant biological genius and workaholic Fang Yue (top)
Click here to download the full novel (PDF & EPUB)

Comment

Leave a Reply

error: Content is protected !!

Options

not work with dark mode
Reset