Switch Mode

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off – CH29

Teammates

Chapter 29: Teammates

Right at that moment, the flashlight beam went out all at once.

The interior of the vehicle instantly plunged into dim, chaotic gloom.

Chi Xiaoxian was immensely grateful for the darkness right now, however; otherwise, his bright red face would have undoubtedly become the most eye-catching thing in existence, radiant as the sun.

After a long pause, having nearly dug through a corner of the bedsheet with his fingers, he finally rasped in a sheepish, quiet voice, “Things like this, why do you have to spell them out so clearly…”

“So you don’t plan on being upfront about it in the future either?” Fang Yue grasped the main point of his words with precision.

Chi Xiaoxian felt as if his face were going to burst into flames. Wrapping the bedsheet even tighter around himself, he pressed his entire body against the vehicle’s interior wall, wishing he could embed himself straight into it.

Time passed minute by minute, yet Fang Yue spoke no further.

Pricking up his ears, Chi Xiaoxian caught the sound of shallow, even breathing.

*He fell asleep…?*

The commotion from the zombies outside had long since vanished, leaving only the rain tapping untiringly against the roof, stroke by stroke.

The strange sensation below remained, and Chi Xiaoxian knit his brows in a bit of distress. Still, it wasn’t as intense as last time, likely because it wasn’t his first time catching the scent of blood, or perhaps owing to that pleasant lime flavor…

Chi Xiaoxian could still catch that disturbing scent in the air. If he could, he really wanted Fang Yue to give him a hand…

He startled himself with his own thought.

Other zombies only thought of eating, eating, eating, yet before he had even filled his stomach or stayed warm, he was already letting his thoughts stray into indecency—what kind of logic was that?

As a zombie, he had truly lost his moral bottom line bit by bit.

He tried to force his thoughts to a halt, but the tendrils of his imagination were far too delicate and free, somewhat escaping his control.

Just thinking briefly about Fang Yue’s slender, lean fingers…

Chi Xiaoxian gave himself a fierce mental slap in the face.

Tilting his head up, he closed his eyes, deliberately holding his breath as he tried hard to ignore that scent that was making his heart rate spike.

Yet he discovered helplessly that even if he closed his eyes, Fang Yue’s location could still be perceived with remarkable prominence, resembling the sole cluster of fire ignited in the dark.

—

After an unknown stretch of time, a thread-like ray of light seeped in through the gap in the cargo container door.

That light steadily intensified, its angle shifting gently bit by bit…

Daylight had broken.

Fang Yue’s biological clock woke him right on schedule. Moving his hand slightly, his fingers brushed against a strand of soft hair. Looking down, he discovered that Chi Xiaoxian had shifted over beside him again at some unknown point, resting his head on his backpack, firmly wrapped up in the bedsheet like a pupa.

What left Fang Yue frozen in place, however, was—

Within the faint morning light, he saw Chi Xiaoxian’s hair had turned a very pale silver-gray.

Fang Yue assumed he was hallucinating, or that it was an issue with the angle of light refraction. Unable to believe his eyes, he picked up a lock of hair and examined it repeatedly several times, ultimately confirming—the color had indeed changed completely overnight.

—

Chi Xiaoxian was taken aback as well when he woke up and looked in the mirror.

Clutching his head, he ruffled his hair into a messy state, repeatedly checking the mirror before he couldn’t resist letting out a “Damn.”

“This—”

Suffocating for a long while, Chi Xiaoxian turned his head to ask Fang Yue, “Does this color look good?”

“…Is *that* the main point?” Fang Yue said, somewhat helpless.

Chi Xiaoxian nodded, asking back, “So does this color look weird?”

Fang Yue surveyed him for a moment, shaking his head gently: “Let’s check under the sunlight. It’s too dark in here.”

—

It was dead quiet outside, with virtually no sign of zombie activity. Pulling the door open a crack, Fang Yue peered out to inspect the area, discovering that the cars blocking the rear of the cargo container were almost entirely empty. Only patches of bloodstains remained on the ground, emanating a dark, lacquer-like glint under the sunlight, serving as a reminder of the tragic scene that had unfolded here last night.

Fang Yue jumped down off the vehicle first, then picked Chi Xiaoxian up to bring him down. Chi Xiaoxian had practically resigned himself to his fate, wrapping his arms around Fang Yue’s neck cooperatively.

Holding him this time, Fang Yue merely felt Chi Xiaoxian seemed to have grown even lighter, like a thin sheet of paper that could be carried away by the wind at any second.

*We need to pick up the pace…* Fang Yue thought to himself.

At this moment, their car was trapped right in the middle of the road. If they wanted to leave, they would have to clear out at least the four cars in front first. As for those four cars, one was turned sideways across the road, one had crashed into the guardrail, another had been incinerated into a pile of black skeletal remains, and then there was an off-road vehicle…

*Wait, an off-road vehicle?*

Although the truck offered the protection of a cargo container, its large size made driving inconvenient, lacking agility when encountering sudden emergencies. An off-road vehicle was far better suited for them.

Picking up his crowbar, Fang Yue walked forward with caution to inspect the situation—the off-road vehicle’s door stood wide open, the interior completely empty. A pool of blackened blood rested on the driver’s seat cushion, and spray-like bloodstains splattered across the front window glass.

The sole stroke of luck was that before departing, the driver hadn’t managed to pull the car key out, leaving the key still plugged intact into the ignition right now.

Fang Yue turned his head to say to Chi Xiaoxian, “Pack up your things. We’re switching vehicles.”

Chi Xiaoxian poked his head out from the car window, letting out an “Okay.”

That head of silver hair glistened brilliantly under the sunlight, like the blade’s glare atop pure white snow, so dazzling it almost made it impossible for one to avert their eyes.

Perhaps because his complexion was excessively fair due to malnutrition, this hair color suited him with extraordinary harmony, even giving rise to a fragile, easily broken, yet stunningly sickly aesthetic beauty.

Like a single white rose standing solitary and swaying in the wind and rain.

Fang Yue dazed for a rare second.

—

Packing up their belongings, Chi Xiaoxian tapped on the car window to hail Fang Yue. Fang Yue walked over, picked him up to bring him down, then gathered all the luggage packages at once to carry them over to the off-road vehicle.

Reaching the side of the car, Chi Xiaoxian let out a sigh of relief, saying, “Finally a car I can climb into on my own.”

Being carried back and forth by Fang Yue was blissful for a salted fish, but thoroughly damaging to his self-esteem.

Though ever since turning into a zombie, his self-esteem and sense of morality had been steadily eroding. After another stretch of time, those two words might not even exist in his dictionary anymore.

“How are we going to get out?” Chi Xiaoxian looked at the two cars blocking the front of the off-road vehicle.

“Ram through,” Fang Yue said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Fasten your seatbelt.”

Chi Xiaoxian went blank for a second, then scrambled in a hurry to fasten his seatbelt.

Starting the vehicle, Fang Yue slammed his foot on the accelerator all the way to the floor.

*BANG!* The massive impact slammed Chi Xiaoxian’s back hard against the rear seat.

The off-road vehicle surged through the gap between the two cars ahead, ramming both cars into the guardrails on either side. The off-road vehicle itself wasn’t in much better shape either; from Chi Xiaoxian’s field of vision, he could see a dent caved into the front of the car.

They were finally back on the road.

Perhaps the original car owner had also planned to flee the city, having filled the tank up with gas in advance. Fang Yue estimated it was just enough to carry them to District Six.

The sun shone after the rain cleared, the sunlight dazzling for a rare moment. Although the air had turned cool, driving facing the sun felt warm instead.

Chi Xiaoxian felt today seemed somewhat special. It wasn’t just that his hair color had changed, but he felt his body had reached a turning point—the pain had begun to lessen slightly.

Even if it was only a slight reduction, Chi Xiaoxian detected it with sensitivity, because when he performed the backward pulling motion to fasten his seatbelt just now, the discomfort in his arm had diminished.

Conversely, his long-suppressed sense of hunger began surging back with a vengeance.

Before long, his gaze landed on Fang Yue’s wrist—the one holding the steering wheel, still wrapped in a long strip of thin gauze.

Perhaps because his gaze was far too direct, Fang Yue detected it, raising his hand to open the dashboard drawer, only to find Chi Xiaoxian’s eyes firmly locked onto his wrist, as expected.

Pulling a tube of nutritional liquid out from the drawer, he tossed it over to Chi Xiaoxian.

Chi Xiaoxian bit off the bottle cap and began sipping it in tiny, slow gulps. Halfway through drinking, he realized his thoughts from earlier had likely been seen through by Fang Yue.

“Is that a zombie up ahead?” Chi Xiaoxian stopped his bottle out of nowhere, narrowing his eyes carefully.

His far-distance vision hadn’t recovered yet, so he only saw a thin, black line swaying ahead. They had encountered plenty of wandering zombies along the way, but this thin black line seemed to sway with remarkable regularity, resembling a blinking cursor on a computer screen.

“Looks like a human,” Fang Yue made it out a bit more clearly.

To be precise, that person was waving at them.

—

The off-road vehicle came to a stop five or six meters away from him.

Fang Yue noticed this man appeared to be in his early thirties, boasting a head of golden, fluffy curly hair piled atop his head like a mound of straw. His frame was exceedingly thin, slender as a pair of chopsticks, wearing a blue striped shirt beneath a black jacket that hung loosely over his body.

Sunken cheeks accentuated his large eyes, within which rested a pair of emerald-green irises.

“Hello!” Seeing Fang Yue bring the car to a stop, he took quick steps forward, speaking in fluent Mandarin Chinese, “Sorry to flag you down! Where are you guys heading? Mind giving me a ride?”

Fang Yue stared at him for a moment: “Where are you trying to go?”

The man grinned wide, flashing a brilliant smile: “Anywhere is fine with me! My home was overrun by zombies, and I’m completely homeless now. Take me wherever you like, as long as it’s not back to District Four.”

Fang Yue raised his head to glance at the road sign, discovering they had already driven nearly twenty kilometers out of District Four.

Meaning this man had walked on foot all the way here?

“Is it not dangerous for you to walk on the road alone?” Fang Yue didn’t let him onto the vehicle right away.

The man pointed at the nearby lamppost, saying nonchalantly, “Whenever I run into zombies, I just climb up. Walked all the way here like that.”

Fang Yue knit his brows slightly, seemingly contemplating the credibility of his words—it sounded a bit like talking complete nonsense.

The man let out a chuckle, saying, “I figured you wouldn’t believe me,” whereupon he rubbed his hands together, spat into his palms, ran beneath the nearby lamppost, gripped the pole with both hands, kicked off with both feet, and climbed up very high in a flash like a monkey.

Chi Xiaoxian stood flabbergasted: “What he said was actually true—”

Fang Yue hadn’t expected someone could have tricks like this either, shaking his head with considerable helplessness.

Loosening his grip slightly, the man slid down from the top of the pole with a *swoosh*, his movement so practiced it looked as though he had performed it hundreds of times.

“So can you give me a ride?” The man panted heavily. “I really can’t walk anymore; all my strength went into climbing poles.”

Chi Xiaoxian tilted his head, chewing on the accent: “His Beijing-style erhua accent sounds pretty authentic.”

Fang Yue shot him a glance: “…Your focus went off-track again.”

As he was contemplating, the man added, “You don’t need to drive me to any specific location—just drop me off wherever there’s a shed or an empty room. There hasn’t been a single place to rest along this entire road.”

Chi Xiaoxian gave Fang Yue a gentle nudge, whispering, “I don’t think he looks like a bad person.”

He had always been guided by intuition.

“Are you going to be fine as a zombie sharing a space with two humans?” Fang Yue swept a glance across him.

If he hadn’t brought it up, Chi Xiaoxian would have almost forgotten his unique identity.

“So *that’s* what you were afraid of,” Chi Xiaoxian said in a tone of realization. Patting his chest, he promised, “Don’t worry, I’ll be loyal to you. I will never flirt around, eat from the bowl while eyeing the pot, or crave a single drop of another man’s blood.”

Fang Yue’s expression stiffened for a second.

Seeing Fang Yue’s reaction, Chi Xiaoxian leaned against the car window, breaking into a fit of wild laughter.

Fang Yue said speechlessly, “What are you laughing at?”

“Your reaction is just too funny,” Chi Xiaoxian laughed so hard his entire body trembled. “Be honest—did you actually have a tiny bit of that concern inside your head just now?”

“No,” Fang Yue’s face darkened completely. “Don’t talk nonsense.”

Chi Xiaoxian finally managed to stop laughing. Touching his hair, he looked at his reflection in the mirror again and said in all seriousness, “Maybe the moment he steps into the car, he’ll be scared to death by my appearance. Wasn’t that guard earlier?”

Fang Yue looked at him and shook his head: “That was you maliciously terrifying the man.”

*Click-click.* The car door’s electronic lock disengaged.

The man expressed his thanks repeatedly, scrambled onto the car, took the water handed over by Fang Yue, unscrewed the cap, and drank the entire 500ml bottle of water down in a single breath.

The skin on his lips was peeling severely, likely having been dehydrated for quite some time.

“Let me introduce myself! My name is Kevin, a music teacher,” Kevin wiped the water from his lips, saying in a hurry. “I’m a pretty great singer—want me to sing a song for you guys?”

*Who offers to force someone to listen to him sing right off the bat?* This guy was pretty interesting, Chi Xiaoxian thought to himself.

Because the off-road vehicle’s windows were privacy-tinted, Kevin only noticed someone else sitting in the passenger seat after stepping inside.

That person’s slender frame was buried inside an oversized jacket that didn’t match his size, a head of brilliant silver hair highlighting a fair, delicate neck, his ears carrying a faint pink hue. Looking further forward, there was a small, delicate nose tip and thin, slightly upturned lips.

That person turned his head around, a pair of gray, translucent eyes curving toward him in a smile—a gesture of friendliness. Even his eyelashes were long and snow-white, reminiscent of a crisp, frosty morning.

Kevin froze, followed by an exclamation of marvel.

Excitedly clapping Fang Yue on the shoulder, he said, “Young man, your girlfriend is so pretty! Just like an elf!”

“Which character is this a cosplay of? I’m not very familiar with anime and ACG culture.”


Click here to download the full novel (PDF & EPUB)

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

?????????
Score 9.1
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2024
If someone asked Chi Xiaoxian what his ideal life was like, he would definitely say:“Just look at my name and you’ll know. My dream is to live a life where I can slack off to my heart’s content.”Then, a global mutation occurred, and unfortunately, he turned into a zombie.As he watched a massive horde of zombies charge toward humanity in a spectacular frenzy, Chi Xiaoxian simply lay down lazily.The phrase “playing dead” could not have been more perfectly suited to him.Until one day, he encountered Fang Yue in the woods.One human and one zombie stared at each other.Fang Yue weighed the crowbar in his hand, wondering which angle would be best for smashing the zombie’s head, when the zombie suddenly greeted him.Chi Xiaoxian wiped the mud off his face. His eyes were astonishingly clear.“Hey, classmate. Do you remember me?”Fang Yue’s expression remained calm, but inside, a storm was raging.Chi Xiaoxian smiled faintly.“Don’t worry, I won’t eat you. But could you carry me up a tree?”“It’s cooler up there. I want to take a nap, but my limbs aren’t very flexible, so I can’t climb up myself.”Fang Yue: “???”---Many years later, after the world had finally returned to peace, a heroic legend began to circulate.—There was an incredibly powerful man who had led humanity’s defense forces to defeat the zombies, yet he had refused all recognition and remained shrouded in mystery.A certain journalist spent a fortune gathering information and eventually tracked down the hero’s residence.According to rumors, the mysterious hero lived with a remarkably young university professor who had already achieved extraordinary accomplishments in academia.The journalist eagerly went there, hoping to catch a glimpse of the legendary hero.Instead, all he saw was a human-shaped salted fish completely sunk into the sofa.Chi Xiaoxian yawned.“I watched two movies today, so I’m a little tired. How about you come back tomorrow?”Journalist: The incredibly powerful human you told me about?! Did I come to the wrong place?!After confirming the address several more times, the journalist returned the next day and continued the interview with great trepidation.“May I ask what your greatest ability is?”Chi Xiaoxian curled up on the sofa, sipping his drink as he seriously pondered the question.“…Lying around without moving?”Carefree, shamelessly lazy little zombie Chi Xiaoxian (bottom) × Brilliant biological genius and workaholic Fang Yue (top)
Click here to download the full novel (PDF & EPUB)

Comment

Leave a Reply

error: Content is protected !!

Options

not work with dark mode
Reset