Switch Mode

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off – CH27

Breaking Defense

Chapter 27: Breaking Defense

Chi Xiaoxian didn’t feel much pain from the tumble. Because his entire body was already aching and his joints were stiff, the damage brought by this fall didn’t exceed his baseline level of pain.

Only his face hurt a bit.

Though that probably wasn’t entirely due to the fall.

“Don’t mind me, I can manage on my own.”

Lying on the ground, Chi Xiaoxian waved a hand at Fang Yue. Propping himself up with his arms, he raised his upper body and slowly pushed himself back onto his feet.

The background color of this scene flickered back and forth between “resilient” and “stubbornly saving face.”

Wobbling over to the refueling station, he pulled out the gas nozzle, turned his head, and asked Fang Yue, “Which grade should I use?”

Fang Yue checked the vehicle model and said, “93.”

Hearing the commotion, several wandering zombies drifted over, but they merely circled around Chi Xiaoxian without displaying any aggressive behavior toward him.

When Chi Xiaoxian finished refueling and turned his head to look, three zombies had gathered in front of the truck—specifically right beneath Fang Yue’s driver’s seat. They could clearly distinguish the scent of their own kind from that of an outsider.

The zombies hammered loudly against the car door. One of them reached out, grabbed the crossbar of the side mirror, kicked off, and nimbly leaped onto the front windshield.

Glaring at Fang Yue, it raised its fist and began smashing the car window stroke after stroke.

Fang Yue dodged swiftly toward the passenger seat, opened the door, yanked Chi Xiaoxian up into the cab, and crossed back over to the driver’s seat. Just as the first crack appeared on the window, he slammed his foot on the accelerator, whipped the steering wheel hard, and flung the zombie off the glass.

Chi Xiaoxian let out a sigh of relief.

The truck drove away from the gas station, heading in the direction of the inter-district highway.

The rain grew heavier and heavier. Water seeped through the cracks in the glass, forming a winding stream along the inner side of the front window.

The rain outside could be wiped away by the windshield wipers, but the water inside could only be cleared by hand. Every short while, Fang Yue had to wipe it down with a towel. To ensure safety, he reduced their driving speed to fifty kilometers per hour. Before long, the towel became saturated and lost its wiping capacity—soaked to the brim with water, Fang Yue had no choice but to free his other hand to wring it dry.

The interior of the truck cab was spacious, with a considerable distance separating the driver’s seat from the passenger seat. Chi Xiaoxian couldn’t reach that crack, not to mention his hands were still bound.

Watching Fang Yue juggle task after task, he desperately wished he could sprout an extra hand to help him out.

The pouring rain intensified further, obscuring their line of sight, and the speed dropped to forty.

Just as Fang Yue wiped the inner glass clean once more, two vehicles drove up from the left side of the intersection. He noticed that the two cars seemed to have emerged from the large supermarket right beside the intersection.

Driving very close together at a steady pace, they looked like a single group.

The other party appeared somewhat surprised to see Fang Yue’s truck, flashing their hazard lights twice, to which Fang Yue responded in kind.

Soon, Fang Yue’s truck pulled up parallel to the front vehicle. That car slowly brought itself to a stop and lowered its window.

Sitting in the driver’s seat was a somewhat balding middle-aged man. Waving his chubby arm at them, he called out in greeting, “Young man, it’s a bit dangerous up ahead—plenty of zombies…”

“Thanks for the heads-up. But didn’t you guys manage to come out too?” Fang Yue lowered his window as well, asking politely.

“Sigh, no choice about it—staying at home means starving to death.” The man pointed a finger at the supermarket beside them. “We took a risk to search for a bit of food.”

“Any luck?”

“Actually, yes.” The man’s eyes lit up briefly, then stalled slightly, showing a bit of a awkward expression, “Though only the very last bits were left, and we took them all.”

“Alright. Thank you for letting us know.”

Fang Yue rolled up his window. The fabric over his left shoulder had been soaked by the rain spraying in earlier, feeling icy cold against his skin.

“How much food do we have left?” Chi Xiaoxian asked. “I brought a few packs of compressed biscuits when I left, and I’ve only eaten a little bit so far.”

“There’s enough food. It can hold out until we reach District Six.”

Even if the food weren’t enough, the stack of nutritional supplements he had retrieved from the pharmaceutical factory was more than sufficient to sustain them for a few extra days.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you—does normal food satisfy your hunger?”

Chi Xiaoxian touched his stomach, tilting his head aside: “A little bit. But when I smell blood, I feel exceptionally hungry, especially during that time you got injured earlier. Fresh blood for me… is still a bit too stimulating.”

“Does this stimulation only apply to the sensation of hunger?” Fang Yue said neutrally.

Chi Xiaoxian froze for a second, whipping his head around to look at Fang Yue: “…What do you mean by that?”

“Experimental observations,” Fang Yue dropped the four words calmly.

Chi Xiaoxian swallowed hard instinctively.

“W-What else could there be? Just hunger…” Chi Xiaoxian stammered.

*Could Fang Yue have noticed?*

*How embarrassing would that be!*

*A zombie getting energetic in places it shouldn’t, while staying lifeless where it should…*

Chi Xiaoxian’s thoughts churned wildly, yet he kept his face strictly deadpan.

Fang Yue caught sight of Chi Xiaoxian out of the corner of his eye. Seeing a sunset-like flush spread across the tips of his ears, he said no more, merely giving a slight nod.

Fang Yue started the engine. Just as he was about to continue driving, a thunderous bang suddenly erupted behind them, causing both of them to turn their heads around to look back.

Through the rear window blurred by streaming rain, two hazy shapes could be faintly made out.

Fang Yue was forced to lower his side window again, leaning out to inspect the situation.

Taking a look, Fang Yue froze in place.

The two vehicles belonging to that group earlier had collided with each other, the front of the rear car deeply embedded into the tail of the front car.

A plume of black smoke billowed into the rain, accompanied by a sharp, pungent odor of gasoline. Just as Fang Yue was about to internally curse, another loud boom erupted as a massive fireball exploded in an instant, submerging an entire sedan and turning it into a rolling sphere of fire.

Fortunately, the other vehicle hadn’t caught fire yet, and the people inside hurriedly scrambled out to inspect the situation.

Chi Xiaoxian stood dazed for several seconds before speaking: “Was that… an explosion just now? Why would it explode?”

“It likely impacted the fuel tank. A single spark is enough to ignite gasoline,” Fang Yue analyzed.

Chi Xiaoxian shook his head, letting out a sigh: “Life really is too impermanent…”

Fang Yue fell silent for a short while before speaking: “Let’s go. I suspect someone in their rear car got infected inside the supermarket, which was why the vehicle lost control.”

The situation in District Four was even worse than they had imagined. Every shop with glass doors was in total disarray inside, with places like pharmacies, supermarkets, and department stores thoroughly looted clean. Corpses lying across the streets were visible everywhere, almost as common as fallen leaves on the ground. Zombies wandered along the roadside from time to time, and aside from two or three cars scattered on the road, not a single walking human could be found.

Those cars were heading in the same direction as Chi Xiaoxian’s group, presumably also seeking to escape District Four.

Chi Xiaoxian gazed into the distance once more—long plumes of black smoke drifted up between the rising and falling buildings, with several burning houses visible here and there, resembling missing teeth in an old woman’s mouth, dark and hollow.

*How was this still the neat and livable District Four?*

*Could District Six, where Fang Yue lived, be in this exact state as well?*

*Wait a minute—if that’s the case, why was he still following him to District Six? What if Fang Yue didn’t even have a home left to live in?*

Chi Xiaoxian went completely numb.

On second thought, however, his current state as a zombie was still rather unstable. He could neither return to his hometown in District Ten nor did he possess the capability to wander around sleeping out in the open.

He was a failed zombie, able only to hope he could smoothly settle down in District Six to replenish some food and daily necessities.

Autumn had already set in, and the weather would grow colder and colder moving forward. The thickest piece of clothing he owned was merely the long-sleeved shirt on his back.

Still, he was quite surprised that Fang Yue had proactively offered to bring him along. Thinking carefully about it, however, it didn’t seem entirely beyond expectations. Fang Yue’s thirst for knowledge and truth was far more intense than that of ordinary people.

In essence, he was perhaps an utterly rational madman, an extremely cautious adventurer—a paradoxical isomer.

As Chi Xiaoxian’s thoughts drifted freely, the truck suddenly slammed on its brakes.

His train of thought interrupted, he cast his gaze forward—the entrance leading onto the inter-district highway was blocked tight by four or five cars crashed in a chain reaction.

When they had visited the gas station earlier, the road hadn’t been like this, so this pileup had occurred just recently, likely triggered by that sedan earlier that had charged into the guardrail and come to a rest in the middle of the road.

“What do we do now?” Chi Xiaoxian looked around.

No matter how superb one’s driving skills were, being blocked at the exit like this left one thoroughly helpless.

Fang Yue knit his brows in thought, then pulled out his phone to open an offline map. Just as he was about to search for alternative routes to the next district, a massive impact struck from behind, throwing both of their heads violently toward the front window.

*BANG!* Two white airbags deployed with a pop, catching them gently.

Fang Yue hurriedly looked into the rear-view mirror—an off-road vehicle had rear-ended them, closely followed by two more small cars slamming into the line.

Their situation couldn’t be worse. Both front and rear were completely blocked, trapped like filling inside a dumpling. Now it wasn’t just a matter of breaking through the exit—even their retreat route was sealed off.

Fang Yue quickly checked the data on the dashboard. Fortunately, the metrics remained normal; likely only the outer shell had been damaged.

“Should we get off the vehicle?” Chi Xiaoxian asked in worry.

Fang Yue looked outside, his brows knitting tightly into a scowl.

The pouring rain was falling too heavily, and the temperature continued to plummet. If they stepped off the truck and lost its protection, getting soaked by this torrential rain might cause them to catch a cold and fever. Furthermore, the sky was darkening; in roughly half an hour, night would fall completely. Even if they had weapons, encountering wandering zombies in packs would leave them thoroughly overwhelmed.

It appeared they would have to stay here overnight.

“Someone’s coming out!” Chi Xiaoxian sat up abruptly, pointing ahead.

Drivers and passengers were stepping out of their cars one after another. Flashlight beams illuminated the dim night, swaying continuously, revealing a sense of panic and helplessness.

Through the light beams, countless dense raindrops could be seen—a transparent net of rain covering the sky and earth entirely.

“Not good,” Fang Yue said heavily.

No sooner had his words landed than Chi Xiaoxian caught that strange, sweet aroma once more. Mixed within the chilly rainwater, faint and elusive, it drifted in through the cracks in the glass and car doors.

Chi Xiaoxian hurriedly covered his nose with his shirt.

“You smell it?”

Chi Xiaoxian nodded: “My sense of smell got sharper.”

“Someone must have been injured in the collision,” Fang Yue’s expression grew grave. “Continuing like this will attract zombies sooner or later.”

The rain fell too loudly, slamming against the glass with loud clatters. Shouts mingled with the sound of rain, waxing and waning, carrying an indescribable sense of tension and anxiety.

Suddenly, a closer sound echoed from overhead—*tap-tap, tap-tap.*

The nerves of both men tightened in an instant—their truck stood a full four meters tall. At a height like that, the only thing climbing up would generally be a zombie.

*Tap-tap, tap-tap.* The sound vanished suddenly. Immediately after, a dark shadow flashed past the front window, leaping down and lunging straight toward a man and woman who had just stepped out of a sedan ahead.

The situation took a sharp turn for the worse as more and more zombies emerged. Like countless phantoms hidden in the dark, they charged snarling toward the unarmed passengers and drivers. Some quick-witted individuals managed to dive back into their cars in the nick of time.

“We need to get to the cargo container,” Fang Yue judged.

Their front window glass wouldn’t hold out much longer. Once Fang Yue’s location was spotted, it could be breached at any moment—especially since cracks had already formed.

There was no direct connecting door between the truck cab and the cargo container, which meant they had to enter the cargo container from the outside.

In this torrential rain, even the stun gun could not be used.

Fang Yue glanced at the ring of car keys—there were five keys in total. If they were lucky, the right key would work on the first try; if unlucky, they would have to test them one by one. There was no guarantee the cargo container key was even among them, as he couldn’t exactly ask when he “borrowed” it.

“Untie me first,” Chi Xiaoxian said.

Fang Yue unraveled the gauze around Chi Xiaoxian’s wrists. Chi Xiaoxian bit his own wrist open with his teeth, then smeared the blood across his shirt.

“You—” Fang Yue hadn’t even had time to react.

“Let’s swap shirts,” Chi Xiaoxian said earnestly. “This way my scent can cover yours a bit.”

In Fang Yue’s impression, Chi Xiaoxian belonged to the delicate category of people who couldn’t lift with their hands or carry on their shoulders. That such a person would proactively harm himself came as quite a surprise to him.

“Does it hurt?” In the dim cab, Fang Yue looked at the ring of bite marks on Chi Xiaoxian’s wrist bone, asking in a low voice.

A subtle emotion welled up in his heart.

Chi Xiaoxian shook his head. Over these past two days, he had been aching everywhere, to the point where he had grown somewhat numb to pain.

The two exchanged shirts. Chi Xiaoxian pointed at the car keys: “I’ll go down first to test them. Once I find the right key, I’ll call you out.”

“Be careful when stepping off the truck,” Fang Yue hesitated for a second. “Don’t fall again.”

Chi Xiaoxian: “…”

He had originally felt his righteous, selfless action was quite heroic and touching, only for Fang Yue’s single sentence to completely break his defense.

—

The moment he opened the car door, pouring rain slammed onto his body, making Chi Xiaoxian shiver from the cold. Rainwater flowed along his hair toward his eyes, quickly blurring his vision. Wiping the water from his face, Chi Xiaoxian supported himself against the truck body, walking slowly toward the cargo container door.

Holding the flashlight in his mouth, he tested nearly three keys before finally unlocking the door. He clicked the flashlight beam on and off three times—the agreed-upon signal between him and Fang Yue, meaning he could step down now.

Fang Yue opened the door quickly and jumped down, but turning his head, he caught sight of a zombie hiding behind the front tire—a complete blind spot from the driver’s seat!

The flashlight beam flashed past, four eyes meeting for a single second.

Those deathly gray eyes were completely different from Chi Xiaoxian’s, lifeless like a pool of congealed concrete, wide open as if the eyeballs were going to be squeezed out of their sockets.

Rainwater ran down Fang Yue’s shirt, pooling into a pale red stream. As the water dripped onto its face, the blood belonging to Chi Xiaoxian seemed to make it hesitate for a moment.

Fang Yue didn’t have time to process that spine-chilling sensation, seizing the opportunity to bring a crowbar strike straight down.

The surrounding zombies were so numerous his scalp felt numb, and he knocked over two before sprinting to the rear door of the cargo container.

Chi Xiaoxian had already pulled the door open. Fang Yue leaped up onto the one-meter-high truck bed, settled his footing, reached down, grabbed Chi Xiaoxian under the arms, hoisted him straight up, and slammed the door shut.

Chi Xiaoxian: “…”

*He didn’t even let him step on his shoulders to climb up.*

He had been picked up without a shred of dignity—Fang Yue’s movement was no different from hoisting up a cat.


Click here to download the full novel (PDF & EPUB)

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

Even If I Turn Into A Zombie I’m Still Going To Slack Off

?????????
Score 9.1
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2024
If someone asked Chi Xiaoxian what his ideal life was like, he would definitely say:“Just look at my name and you’ll know. My dream is to live a life where I can slack off to my heart’s content.”Then, a global mutation occurred, and unfortunately, he turned into a zombie.As he watched a massive horde of zombies charge toward humanity in a spectacular frenzy, Chi Xiaoxian simply lay down lazily.The phrase “playing dead” could not have been more perfectly suited to him.Until one day, he encountered Fang Yue in the woods.One human and one zombie stared at each other.Fang Yue weighed the crowbar in his hand, wondering which angle would be best for smashing the zombie’s head, when the zombie suddenly greeted him.Chi Xiaoxian wiped the mud off his face. His eyes were astonishingly clear.“Hey, classmate. Do you remember me?”Fang Yue’s expression remained calm, but inside, a storm was raging.Chi Xiaoxian smiled faintly.“Don’t worry, I won’t eat you. But could you carry me up a tree?”“It’s cooler up there. I want to take a nap, but my limbs aren’t very flexible, so I can’t climb up myself.”Fang Yue: “???”---Many years later, after the world had finally returned to peace, a heroic legend began to circulate.—There was an incredibly powerful man who had led humanity’s defense forces to defeat the zombies, yet he had refused all recognition and remained shrouded in mystery.A certain journalist spent a fortune gathering information and eventually tracked down the hero’s residence.According to rumors, the mysterious hero lived with a remarkably young university professor who had already achieved extraordinary accomplishments in academia.The journalist eagerly went there, hoping to catch a glimpse of the legendary hero.Instead, all he saw was a human-shaped salted fish completely sunk into the sofa.Chi Xiaoxian yawned.“I watched two movies today, so I’m a little tired. How about you come back tomorrow?”Journalist: The incredibly powerful human you told me about?! Did I come to the wrong place?!After confirming the address several more times, the journalist returned the next day and continued the interview with great trepidation.“May I ask what your greatest ability is?”Chi Xiaoxian curled up on the sofa, sipping his drink as he seriously pondered the question.“…Lying around without moving?”Carefree, shamelessly lazy little zombie Chi Xiaoxian (bottom) × Brilliant biological genius and workaholic Fang Yue (top)
Click here to download the full novel (PDF & EPUB)

Comment

Leave a Reply

error: Content is protected !!

Options

not work with dark mode
Reset