Chapter 3: Catching Snakes
“At your service, Young Master,” Tang Heng’s drawling, irreverent voice sounded over the line.
In that instant, Zhao Man deeply doubted the man’s reliability. But knowing no one else, he had no choice but to ask loudly, “Captain Tang, is your patrol team responsible for the safety of the residents in your patrol sector?”
“Nope.”
“Uh…” Zhao Man choked, his voice shrinking by half. He asked again, “Then what is your patrol team responsible for?”
“Patrolling.”
Silently pitying himself from three seconds ago, Zhao Man pressed on, “Captain Tang, I suspect there are snakes near my place. Could you tell me which department in the base handles this?”
“Snakes? That falls under our purview,” Tang Heng’s voice came through again.
“What kind of snake?!”
“Where is it?!”
“How many are there?!”
The other end of the communicator erupted into a frenzy. A clamor of eager voices instantly drowned out Tang Heng. Following two dull thuds, Tang Heng’s voice cut through once more: “Where do you live? The safety of our district’s residents is our sacred duty!”
Heh.
Zhao Man opened the front courtyard door and checked the digits stenciled onto the exterior wall. “West Outer Ring, District 35, No. 826.”
“Got it. Sit tight.”
Waiting for Tang Heng, Zhao Man felt exceptionally jittery. His head whipped around like it had a vibrator built into it, constantly checking every corner in sheer terror that a serpent might lunge out from beneath his feet.
Seeing no other way to calm his nerves, Zhao Man retreated to the kitchen. After gulping down a large mouthful of tap water to quench his thirst, he set up his pot to boil water, intending to wash the cookware and dishes. Time always flew when one was engrossed in chores. Just as he set the pot in place to boil some drinking water, a series of heavy knocks—thud, thud, thud—sounded from the front door. Taking three steps in two, he rushed over and pulled it open.
Tang Heng stood outside. Behind him trailed two slightly shorter men clad in identical patrol uniforms, carrying specialized snake-catching gear.
Zhao Man led them to the rear exit and pointed toward the bamboo grove. “In there. I saw a long, slender green tail.”
“You’ve got some nerve. Living right against the mountain is one thing, but you actually wandered inside?” remarked the man named Sun Chao.
“Cut the chatter and get to work,” Tang Heng cut in. With that, he took the lead, vaulting over the jagged boulders and striding toward the bamboo grove.
Zhao Man crouched atop an outcrop on the courtyard side, craning his neck toward the grove. He watched the three men stand completely motionless upon the rocks. Zhao Man noticed something strange—the very air around them seemed to ripple and fluctuate.
A moment later, the two subordinates grew visibly thrilled. The three moved in unison toward the spot where the fallen dry bamboo lay.
Dreading the thought of witnessing something that would give him nightmares, Zhao Man pulled out his machete. He stripped the dry bamboo of its offshoots, chopped the trunk into neat segments, and used the thin twigs to lash together two brooms. The leftover branches he stacked neatly against the outer wall of the bathroom to serve as firewood.
Zhao Man patted his stomach. He was starving. Checking the time, he saw it was already three in the afternoon. Aside from the single vial of nutrient solution he’d downed upon waking this morning, he hadn’t touched a bite of food; it was only natural for his belly to rumble.
The water in the pot was already boiling. He poured it into a basin to cool, then retrieved the potatoes he’d purchased that morning. The mutated potatoes in this world were massive, each weighing three to four pounds. The whole sack he’d bought earlier contained over thirty of them and had cost merely two points.
After setting a potato in the pot to boil, Zhao Man stepped out and climbed back onto the crags, crouching on a boulder near the edge of the bamboo grove. He saw Tang Heng and his men, each wielding a set of heavy snake tongs, stationed in separate positions. They would stand still, sensing their surroundings for a moment, before suddenly thrusting forward. Snaring a snake as thick as a man’s forearm in the iron jaws, they would kill it within three seconds flat.
Tang Heng caught sight of Zhao Man out of the corner of his eye—crouching on the boulder and peering over with a sneaky, furtive expression. Withdrawing his mental power, he walked over and asked, “What’s up?”
“Captain Tang, are all the snakes cleared out?”
“Almost.” Seeing how deadpan Zhao Man was, Tang Heng couldn’t resist chiming in, “This place is practically a snake nest.”
Successfully watching Zhao Man’s face turn stark white, Tang Heng continued in high spirits, “Need something?”
At the mention of a “snake nest,” goosebumps broke out all over Zhao Man’s skin. Hearing Tang Heng ask, he quickly voiced his request: “Captain Tang, could you help me fell a stalk of bamboo? Nothing too huge, that one right there will do.”
Following Zhao Man’s pointing finger, Tang Heng looked at the massive bamboo trunk—so thick a grown man could barely wrap his arms around it—and snorted with laughter. “Sure. Once we finish clearing the snakes, I’ll cut it down for you.”
“Deal.”
Seeing Tang Heng turn back to hunt more snakes, Zhao Man headed toward his yard, glancing back over his shoulder halfway to watch the three figures working in the grove.
Back in the courtyard, Zhao Man stood watch over the pot and pulled up his terminal. Inside was an app called Dome 87, a sort of base-wide master directory. The administrative staff had used it earlier when registering his land deed and utility accounts.
Zhao Man navigated to the forum and searched for “snakes.” A deluge of results popped up, packed with pictures and text. Suppressing his creeping dread, Zhao Man browsed through them carefully until he finally found what he was looking for in a comment section.
?Went out hunting and spotted a snake! Got so excited, but the damn thing slipped away in a flash. Is this what they call life’s emotional rollercoaster??
?Your life might be in a dip, but the energy stone in that snake’s belly is about to elevate mine! [Attached: Picture of snake catch]?
Zhao Man was familiar with energy stones. The base’s energy shield ran on them, much of the Sixth Ring’s infrastructure relied on them, and the housekeeper robot in his original host’s father’s home was powered by an energy stone as well.
No wonder those two subordinates had been so ecstatic at the mention of snakes.
Half an hour later, the potato in the pot was thoroughly steamed. Zhao Man scooped it into a basin just as voices drifted over from beyond the back door. He rose to let them in.
Tang Heng and his two men were each carrying a sack. The coarse gray fabric was only a quarter full, but the distinct, undulating outlines bulging through the cloth made Zhao Man’s scalp prickle with revulsion.
“Captain Tang, are all the snakes cleared?”
“Swept the area once. None left for now.”
Hearing the words for now, Zhao Man understood that eliminating the threat once and for all was an impossible dream out here.
“According to District 35 regulations, reporting a nest of mutated beasts earns a ten-point bounty.” Zhao Man met Tang Heng’s gaze, noticing the other two men eyeing him intently as well.
Zhao Man pondered for a second. “Is reporting it mandatory?”
“Depends on what you want.”
“If I don’t report it, what can you offer me, Captain Tang?” Zhao Man asked, meeting the three pairs of eyes.
“Points, rations, or heating equipment. Take your pick.”
“Much obliged, Captain Tang. I’ll take rations and heating equipment,” Zhao Man replied cheerfully.
“Deal. I’ll have them delivered the day after tomorrow.” With that, the trio set the sacks down by the front entrance, turning on their heels to head back into the bamboo grove.
“Wait, Captain Tang! Are you certain those snakes are completely dead? Maybe you should double-check?” Seeing them leave the bags inside his home, Zhao Man’s face drained of color.
“Dead as doorknobs.”
“No, what if? You’d better take them with you!”
Left with no choice, the three picked their sacks back up and returned to the grove, stopping beneath the towering bamboo Zhao Man had pointed out. Tang Heng drew an object shaped like a grip handle from his utility pouch. He pressed a hidden toggle, and the black block at the end unfolded into a sleek mechanical saw. With another click, the serrated blade spun at dizzying speed.
Zhao Man was thoroughly dazzled: Pure genius.
Tang Heng operated the saw while the other two braced the trunk with all their might. In less than ten minutes, the giant bamboo crashed to the ground. Following Zhao Man’s instructions, they bucked it into neat two-meter segments.
Zhao Man stood to the side trimming away twigs with his machete. Watching Tang Heng haul the dense bamboo logs with sheer brute strength, he couldn’t help but marvel: wasteland Alphas truly had power to burn.
Once the bamboo was fully processed, Zhao Man hesitated for several beats before speaking up again: “Captain Tang, if you’re not in a rush, could you help me fell a tree as well?”
“Don’t push your luck,” one of the squad members grumbled.
Tang Heng shot his subordinate a glance, grabbed the saw, and walked over to a tree as thick as a man’s waist. “Will this one do?”
“Yes, absolutely!”
Tang Heng scrambled up the trunk with fluid ease. Starting from the lower boughs and working his way up, he sheared off every branch except those he needed for footholds, letting them crash to the ground. Then, working downward, he steadily severed the main limbs from the trunk.
Zhao Man looked up at Tang Heng vaulting and swinging through the canopy like an agile ape. He had to hand it to him: wasteland Alphas were truly something else.
Once a quarter of the upper trunk was cleared, Tang Heng sawed off the remaining branches, slid down the smooth bark, and cut through the base in one clean sweep.
After hauling the hefty bamboo sections into the courtyard, the other two squad members returned to haul the timber.
“You’ll have to drag the rest of the debris over yourself. We have to head back,” Tang Heng said, brushing the sawdust from his collar.
“Understood, understood. Thank you so much, Captain Tang!”
Once the three took their leave, Zhao Man’s stomach emitted a fierce rumble. He retrieved the potato from the basin, sliced it in two, and took a hearty bite. It was piping hot and left an astringent tang on his tongue; the rising steam blurred his vision.
The flesh was dense and slightly chalky, nowhere near as delicious as the potatoes from his previous life, but it had one undeniable virtue: it was incredibly filling.
Finishing it off in a few ravenous bites, Zhao Man wiped his watering eyes. The chronometer read past six in the evening, yet the sky remained brilliantly lit. Grabbing his machete, he headed into the bamboo grove to gather the offshoots.
Scavenging a few tough vines from the ground, he tied the leafy branches and bamboo twigs into over a dozen bundles. After lugging three back to the courtyard, he called it quits.
In his previous life, Zhao Man had only helped his grandmother with minor farm chores as a child. As for this pampered original body, it had never so much as washed a dish. Hauling just three bundles of kindling left him drained, body and soul.
After drinking a cup of water, Zhao Man prepared to wash up and call it a day, only to realize he had neither a washcloth nor an extra basin. Resigned, he used his knife to slice a strip of fabric from the hem of a pair of clean trousers. He dumped the leftover potatoes into a bowl, freeing up the single basin to serve as a wash tub.
Sigh. What a chaotic mess of a life.
