Chapter 40
Fang Jing Yao couldn’t help laughing. “Sounds pretty amusing. What did he do that made you mad anyway? You don’t seem like someone who gets angry easily.”
Long Yu rubbed the tip of his nose. “Me? I actually had quite the vengeful streak when I was young.”
Fang Jing Yao listened with great interest.
Long Yu said, “I was about nine then. Just moved north, not used to anything — hated everything around me. I was withdrawn. My aunt’s family wasn’t well-off; she worked at a distillery, my uncle was a driver for some official. They had a son and a daughter, money was always tight — by the end of the month they were always short a hundred yuan or so. But my aunt treated me well. Whatever they had to eat or use, she gave me first. My cousins would just watch — they never fought for anything, always obedient. Back then I didn’t think anything of it. But one day I saw my older cousin secretly trying out their new bicycle — she didn’t even dare ride it out of the yard, just pushed it a few times. That’s when I realized they probably wanted things too, they just couldn’t afford them, and always gave way to me.”
He smiled faintly, then continued, “My uncle had an old leg injury, walked with a limp, but he’d been in the army, so he had a fierce temper and a loud voice. The neighborhood kids were all scared of him. Some naughty ones used to imitate the way he walked behind his back. Once, when he was washing his car in the courtyard, one of the brats even secretly pried off the car emblem to play with…” Long Yu gave Fang Jing Yao a meaningful look, raising an eyebrow. “I was watching from the window. Saw everything. I was furious and wanted to teach them a lesson.”
Fang Jing Yao felt a twinge of embarrassment and looked away. As a kid, he’d been just like that troublemaker — climbing trees, stealing bird nests, running wild all over. He even remembered once prying the emblem off a neighbor’s car — a Mercedes, maybe — and his mother nearly broke his leg over it, dragged him over to apologize, and made him and his little gang “atone for their sins” by doing good deeds all summer.
Long Yu said, “I’d just watched a science movie back then, was really into physics, so I got some wires, iron, and a bottle of saltwater, wanted to use it to ‘discipline’ them a bit. But before I could do anything, the next day their mother came to apologize. Said she hadn’t raised her son properly, kept saying sorry to my aunt, and brought the boy along — the ringleader of the bunch.”
Long Yu couldn’t help but laugh softly, warmth in his voice. “That little guy had been beaten so hard he was trembling when he walked, crying as he stammered out an apology at my door. When he finished, his mom kicked him again and said, ‘Anything else?’ So he called all the other kids from the courtyard over. They stood there like little quails, one by one apologizing to my uncle, saying they’d never imitate him again, that they knew they were wrong.”
He shook his head with a smile, absently turning the half-finished beer in his hand. “But that wasn’t the end. Those kids didn’t go anywhere that summer — stayed at my aunt’s place for half a month doing chores: washing windows, moving things, grabbing every task they could. Sometimes when my aunt opened the door in the morning, she’d see them lined up outside like little day laborers waiting for work.”
Listening to the vivid detail, Fang Jing Yao’s eyes lit up. “Wait — that was you! You were the kid who lived next door to me?”
Long Yu raised his eyebrows, smiling. “Watch your tone — you used to call me gege (big brother).”
Thick-skinned as ever, Fang Jing Yao scooted closer and said with a grin, “I was just a kid then, didn’t know any better — don’t take it to heart, okay? I was only seven back then. Seven or eight — even dogs didn’t like me! Thinking about the stuff I did is so embarrassing. You don’t know — my mom beat me senseless that time and made me and the others reflect seriously. She even set a quota — each of us had to do twenty good deeds for your family before we were allowed to leave the yard… God, I was so stressed. Every day I just waited for your aunt to open the door so I could start!”
Long Yu laughed and pinched his nose lightly. “No wonder you were so eager — but you still never managed to grab a job first.”
Fang Jing Yao groaned. “You have no idea how fierce the competition was.”
Long Yu chuckled under his breath.
Fang Jing Yao then asked, “You lived there for two or three years, right? After that, you moved away for middle school?”
Long Yu nodded. “Yeah. My dad came back from abroad, changed jobs, and we moved so I could go to school elsewhere.”
They kept talking about their childhood, losing track of time. Fang Jing Yao grew animated, saying, “We lived in that government compound for years. The thing I remember most clearly was the jar of apples your family had — big, round ones, in that sturdy glass jar. Every morning, when you left for school, your aunt would wash one for you to take along… Hey, Long Yu, do you remember? When you ate those apples, I was so jealous of you.”
Luo Yu smiled and said: “I’ve already given it to you.”
Fang Jing Yao thought for a moment, looking confused. “You gave it to me when we were kids?”
Luo Yu replied: “No — in high school.”
Fang Jing Yao frowned even more. “High school?”
Luo Yu nodded. “Yeah. You were a first-year at No. 1 High then. I saw you in the cafeteria and thought you looked familiar. You were a little short back then…”
Fang Jing Yao pretended to be angry. “Hey! You’re reminiscing, not insulting!”
Luo Yu laughed, reached out to rub his hair, and drew him a little closer. “You couldn’t squeeze to the front of the lunch line, and you kept jumping to see the fruit section. I gave you the apple from my tray. Later, when you joined the literature club, I saw your name on the list and wondered if you might be that same mischievous kid. When we met, I recognized you immediately — it really was you.”
Fang Jing Yao leaned on his shoulder, smiling as well.
“That time, my parents were having problems,” said Luo Yu, “and I wasn’t in a great state myself. Han Qiaoye and the others were worried about me. They wanted to do something to keep me busy, so they pulled me along to start the literature club.” He looked at Fang Jing Yao. “We used to play cards together — you probably don’t remember, right? The bet wasn’t just that fifty yuan. You lost until you had nothing left, and Han Qiaoye teased you — said truth or dare. You chose dare. Everyone egged you on, and you came over and kissed me.”
Fang Jing Yao froze. “…I kissed you?”
“Yeah. You did.” Luo Yu pointed at his cheek, smiling. “Right here.”
When Luo Yu met Fang Jing Yao again in high school, he wasn’t doing well. His parents were negotiating their divorce, and life at home was tense.
Fang Jing Yao loved to laugh and play, and his smile was especially bright — like a little sun radiating light wherever he went. He easily drew people in, cheerful and charming. When that dangerous little creature named Fang Jing Yao came near, Luo Yu instinctively felt alarmed. At first, he tried to keep his guard up — but Fang Jing Yao’s grin was disarming. It felt like his carefully ordered life had been invaded, leaving him completely off balance.
Still, because they had known each other as children, Luo Yu was always a little more lenient with him than with anyone else.
Fang Jing Yao was the kind of person who could befriend anyone instantly; he was always surrounded by laughter and chatter. He loved to play cards — and in minutes he could round up a whole gang to join. That afternoon, Luo Yu beat him more than ten times, and Fang Jing Yao was nearly in tears from losing. For the sake of fifty yuan, he kept whining and, half-joking, called him “ge” (“big brother”) again.
Luo Yu could still picture that shameless expression — like a little puppy, almost nudging his palm with his head.
“Come on, brother, give it back to me! I’ll have no money to eat this week, really! Huh? This should count as club funds — shared money, not personal, right? We’re family, aren’t we, brother?”
As he spoke, he reached toward Luo Yu’s pocket, grinning in that coaxing way of his — his little hands sneaking closer and closer, shameless and sticky-sweet.
Luo Yu smacked his hand away with a laugh. “Quit it.”
Han Qiaoye chimed in, “Yeah! Even real brothers settle accounts clearly!”
Fang Jing Yao shot Luo Yu a glance — seeing him smile, he immediately straightened up and said with mock seriousness, “What real brothers? I’m part of the ‘Luo Yu household’! We don’t split accounts!”
Everyone burst out laughing. Fang Jing Yao wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest — he went right over and plopped himself down on Luo Yu’s lap. He was used to roughhousing with friends like that, but Luo Yu instantly went stiff.
Fang Jing Yao, carefree as always, planted a quick kiss — but for Luo Yu, it hit straight to the heart. He’d practically fled the room in a fluster.
Fang Jing Yao stayed in the literature club for only two weeks. But that short time was also when Luo Yu was most confused — about his family, and about himself. He often went to the science building rooftop alone. Fang Jing Yao would always follow, that persistent little tail that never left him. Luo Yu started to waver. He cautiously opened a door for him — just like tonight. Fang Jing Yao had pushed it open and come to sit by his side.
The more Luo Yu observed him, the more he was drawn in.
Luo Yu’s parents were both extremely rational people. They’d once loved each other, but after twenty years, that affection had worn down to calm civility. They could sit together for an hour without a word. They weren’t the type to endure things — once a problem arose, they’d sit down to “resolve” it, like they were handling a neutral business matter. No arguments, no pleading — just dividing assets and discussing custody, cool and logical.
Watching them, Luo Yu realized for the first time how broken — how absurd — his family was.
Back then, he didn’t like talking to people. When things got too heavy, he’d go to the rooftop, let the wind blow on him, and watch the playground below — full of running, laughing students. Everyone looked happy. He’d just lean on the railing, looking down like he was watching a show from another world.
Lively, yes — but none of it had anything to do with him. He was just a passerby, standing quietly to watch for a while before leaving.
Then Fang Jing Yao came barging in — like a fearless little animal, noisy and reckless. Luo Yu had cracked the door open a sliver, and that mischievous boy burst in, sunlight spilling through behind him. It was dazzling — but not painful. Warm. A feeling Luo Yu had never experienced before.
As he told these stories, when he reached the part about that “prank” kiss, Luo Yu chuckled softly. Then he sighed.
“Every time I run into you, it seems to be at my lowest point. But I guess I’m lucky too — every time, you’re the one who comes to find me. You remember, right? Back in the club, you told Han Qiaoye and the others you wanted to be mine — that you wanted to be with me.”
Fang Jing Yao’s eyes went wide. “You don’t think I was serious, do you? Damn, that—” He trailed off, completely at a loss for words.
“Yes,” Luo Yu nodded, feigning seriousness though his eyes glimmered with laughter. “I’ve only ever been in that one relationship.”
He had. And he remembered every detail of their meetings — every smile. In that dark, suffocating period of his life, Fang Jing Yao had been the brightest, softest light.
Being looked at like that, Fang Jing Yao felt heat rise to his face.
Luo Yu pulled him into his arms and whispered by his ear:
“Luo Yu likes Fang Jing Yao. From the very first moment, I liked you — really, really liked you.”
His voice was low, murmured against Fang Jing Yao’s ear, tinged with a kind of quiet melancholy and gentle laughter that made Fang Jing Yao’s heart ache. Eyes reddening, he wrapped his arms tightly around Luo Yu. His voice came out hoarse: “You idiot…”
Luo Yu continued, “Later, I left you a photo — and a letter. But you never saw them, right? I guess it’s for the best. You had so many friends around you, always surrounded by noise and laughter — you didn’t need someone like me. Keeping you by my side would’ve been selfish. Back then I told myself — meeting you twice in one lifetime was already enough. But who knew that this year, just after I returned to the country, I’d run into you again?”
Fang Jing Yao tried to lift his head, but Luo Yu pressed it back down against his chest. He chuckled softly and kissed the top of his head.
“I recognized you at once, but you, this little rascal — you didn’t remember me at all. So I told myself I’d give you three chances. If you still didn’t remember after that, I’d go back to my old, orderly life — and stop waiting.”
Fang Jing Yao wriggled in his arms. “You’re crazy — only three chances? What if I—”
Luo Yu laughed. “Mm, and you didn’t remember.”
He loosened his hold and cupped Fang Jing Yao’s face gently, his gaze warm and tender.
“But I decided to accept your second confession instead. Remember? At the bar, when you stopped me and told me how you felt? I was overjoyed. Later I thought — if you hadn’t stopped me and said those words, maybe I’d have learned to be like you.”
Fang Jing Yao blinked at him, eyes stinging. “Be like me — what do you mean?”
Luo Yu leaned in, kissed him, and murmured with a smile:
“I mean… be brave for once — let me be the one to chase you.”
Translator’s Note: The next chapter contains R-18 content with sexual themes.
