After Waking Up I Inherited the Earth [Interstellar] – CH97

Chapter 97

“Lanni, do you have a Priority Shopping Card?”

Blue-tailed young merfolk Lanni once again ran into an adult merfolk who wanted to freeload off a Priority Shopping Card.

However—

Lanni put on a cool little face and snapped impatiently, “No, no, no. Go away. Hurry up and go.”

At first, Lanni answered politely enough, but as more and more merfolk kept asking, his patience ran out.

Be! Reasonable! About it! Just because he won a Lunar New Year mega gift bundle doesn’t mean he’s some insanely lucky “chosen one.”

A Priority Shopping Card, okay? Do you think he doesn’t want one?

No—he’s just not worthy of it!

Lanni chased off one daydreaming adult merfolk after another who wanted to mooch a Priority Shopping Card from him. Then he flicked his tail and swam straight off to find Eugenia and Margaret.

Hmph! The stuff he’d given them from his New Year mega bundle wasn’t something they could just take for free—since they took it, they had to pay it back now!

So Eugenia and Margaret received terrible news.

They had to “repay” the things they’d eaten from Lanni with postcards.

Eugenia & Margaret: [angry.jpg]

But being angry was useless. Lanni simply refused to leave. He stared them down, glued to them—wherever they went, he went. No shaking him off.

When the last ten minutes arrived—when people with Priority Shopping Cards could start buying early—Lanni even urged them with a bright smile, “Hurry, hurry. You can buy now.”

Then, as if he suddenly remembered something, he added, “Oh right—don’t be dumb and buy just one set, okay? Check the purchase limit. Buy up to the max limit in one go, got it?”

Honestly, if Lanni hadn’t reminded them, the two of them really would’ve rushed in, bought one set, and checked out immediately.

Because that was what everyone had learned to do.

For ages now, people knew that if you wanted to successfully buy anything, you had to slam “Buy Now” and pay instantly. Want to tap twice and buy two copies? Yeah right—keep dreaming. That extra 0.01 seconds might be exactly what makes you miss the purchase.

Using a Priority Shopping Card for the first time, Margaret and Eugenia genuinely forgot this detail.

“Eugenia / Margaret, don’t buy yet—I’m going to see if I can buy three sets in one shot.”

They blurted it at the same time, both terrified the other would waste a precious priority purchase opportunity.

They looked at each other—and with perfect unspoken coordination, Eugenia backed off.

Margaret kept tapping the “+” button, and when she saw the limit was actually 3, she lit up with joy.

Without any hesitation, she bought the maximum limit. Then she happily patted Lanni’s head like he was a puppy.

“Nice one, little Lanni. Good reminder. Your share is on me—I’ll gift it to you for free,” Margaret declared grandly, waving a hand.

However—

Lanni rolled his eyes coolly. “Please. It’s ten credits a postcard—do you think I’m missing that twenty credits? No. What I’m missing is a Priority Shopping Card. If you want to gift something, gift me the card.”

Margaret & Eugenia: This brat!

The two young merfolk vigorously ruffled Lanni’s hair. For the first time, they truly understood the helpless rage adults felt when young merfolk drove them crazy.

But that feeling faded quickly. Three carefree, adorable young merfolk sat in a row, “eating fruit” (strike that) waiting for the postcards.

The young merfolk were having a great time. Everyone else—those without Priority Shopping Cards—watched the remaining stock on the page plummet, and their eyes practically split with fury.

There were six million postcards total, but who in their right mind would buy only one single postcard? If you were buying, you’d obviously buy a matching pair—one set with two designs. So “six million postcards” was really only three million sets.

Now look at the number of people who’d scheduled reminders for the sale—already officially over nine digits.

And yet those idiots with Priority Shopping Cards had, in just a few minutes, hammered the three million sets down to two million?

[I want a Priority Shopping Card: Damn, this is toxic! Those animals are seriously too much!]

[Luck makes no sense: I’m genuinely confused—did that many people really draw Priority Shopping Cards? One million sets vanished instantly? My heart physically hurts.]

[I think I finally understood something: [smile.jpg] No, it wasn’t one million. I just asked a guy who drew a Priority Shopping Card—the limit this time is 3.]

[My math is amazing: But even with a limit of 3, that’s one million sets. On average that means about 333,333 people used Priority Shopping Cards. Did Boss Xie really give out that many cards?]

With only three minutes left before the public sale began, “[My math is amazing]” sparked discussion, but everyone’s attention was still locked on the countdown.

After the sale, though, that post rocketed to trending.

Because what they said made way too much sense!

Three hundred thirty-three thousand Priority Shopping Cards?

Be real—when did Boss Xie ever hand out that many? That was absurd.

Instantly, conspiracy theories exploded.

Someone with elite hacking skills must have infiltrated the StarNet Mall!

So people started messaging the StarNet Mall’s official StarBlog account, and also flooding Xie Xingchen with private messages. Some netizens, knowing Xie Xingchen never checked DMs, even tried every method possible to contact people who had Xie Xingchen’s direct comms number, begging them to tell him someone was using hacking to snatch items.

When Xie Xingchen received this out-of-nowhere news, he was so shocked his jaw nearly hit the floor.

Someone used hacking to snatch merchandise?

How are netizens this dramatic?

If someone really had the ability to hack into the StarNet Mall, would they seriously use that skill just to buy stuff?

That guess was completely ridiculous!

Where did these wild imaginations even come from?

Xie Xingchen couldn’t figure it out.

Xie Xingchen was both amused and exasperated.

He immediately posted a clarification.

[Xie Xingchen V: Uh… this is basically everyone overthinking it. These are all real customers. [cry-laughing.jpg]]

[Xie Xingchen V: Also—during the last Lunar New Year carnival event, Earth Commerce really did give out around three hundred thousand Priority Shopping Cards. It’s just that everyone kept saying they couldn’t draw any, so I felt embarrassed to mention it and make people feel worse.]

In other words: we gave out tons of cards and you still couldn’t draw one—meaning you’re genuinely unlucky. I stayed quiet because I didn’t want to rub it in, but now certain events have forced my hand, so I have to tell you this cruel truth: you really are unlucky.

Everyone: ?

Everyone: What the hell?!

That Lunar New Year carnival that ended not long ago really gave out over three hundred thousand Priority Shopping Cards—

And yet they didn’t draw a single one?

They refused to accept it!

Why does the universe allow something this unreasonable?

Tears streamed. Everyone bit imaginary handkerchiefs in furious disbelief.

And before they could even calm down, the StarNet Mall stabbed them right in the heart again.

[StarNet Mall V: We heard a rumor that someone infiltrated StarNet Mall just to shop? Hahahaha. If such a user truly exists, please contact us immediately—StarNet Mall will offer a high salary and will do our best to provide you with purchase access to Earth Commerce items.]

Official sarcasm was the deadliest.

Was this recruitment?

No—this was basically calling everyone stupid.

This was StarNet Mall: a platform jointly developed by countless Star Alliance bigshots and geniuses. How could it be easily breached? And even if it were breached, how could the intruder be so foolish as to use it only to buy Earth Commerce products?

It wasn’t that they looked down on Earth Commerce products—it was that anyone with that kind of ability had absolutely no need to do something like that.

With that level of skill, you could just go interview at Earth Commerce directly. Become an employee, and you’d never have to fight for new products again.

Once people regained their rationality, they all realized how absurd the hacking theory was.

And yet… sometimes reality really is that absurd. Among the crowd fighting to buy postcards, there actually was a “big shot” like that.

While browsing StarNet Mall earlier, he’d found a tiny bug in the draw system. By exploiting that bug, he’d managed to get himself a few Priority Shopping Cards.

But nobody knew that yet. After the official account’s post, everyone just swarmed the comments like powerless screeching birds, angrily yelling nonsense.

It wasn’t until the show-offs who’d received their deliveries—and the constant “screen-lickers” lurking on StarNet—started posting again that those “screechers” were forced off the stage.

“This is way… way too beautiful, isn’t it?”

The three young merfolk stared at the postcards in front of them, completely entranced.

Whether it was the majestic, bustling ancient city filled with warmth, or the elegant lady wearing ethereal robes—both left them stunned.

Especially the ginkgo beauty postcard—Margaret and Eugenia’s eyes practically sparkled.

Such a beautiful big sister. Such beautiful clothes. Such beautiful hair ornaments. Such a beautiful giant tree!

“Eugenia, I want that outfit too,” Margaret said dreamily, pointing at the golden skirt covered in ginkgo leaves.

She had never seen clothing this beautiful. It was just an outfit, and yet it felt like it could speak. Just a decoration worn on the body, and yet it seemed to quietly radiate a unique charm—an ancient flavor that was hard to describe with words.

Margaret was still too young to fully understand that special aura, but she knew she liked the clothes. And she liked the headpieces too. She wanted to own them!

“I want them too, but they aren’t for sale anywhere. Earth Commerce will probably release them later, right?” Eugenia wanted the beautiful clothes and jewelry even more than Margaret did.

The moment Xie Xingchen posted the original images, she’d searched the StarNet Mall for matching items—found nothing at all.

“Hey, this has to be a unique design from Boss Xie’s shop, right? If we want to buy it, we’ll have to wait until Earth Commerce launches new products, won’t we?”

“I get that, but here’s the real question… when is Earth Commerce going to launch new products?”

They looked at each other—and both saw despair in the other’s eyes.

Sure, Earth Commerce already launched new products faster than most brands! But for fans like them, it still wasn’t enough. Not even close. Waaa—Earth Commerce’s new-product speed is way too slow!

And—

They said in bitter unison, “Even if Earth Commerce releases those outfits and jewelry, we still have to be able to actually grab them.”

Earth Commerce items were hard enough to buy already. If it was something this gorgeous—clothes and jewelry—then it’d be even worse.

Then both of them thought of the same thing, and seriously warned the other:

“Margaret / Eugenia, whatever you do, don’t use up your Priority Shopping Card attempts.”

With priority attempts, they could still fight for it. Without them, they’d probably just stand there staring helplessly.

Because nobody could guarantee they could beat eight-digit, nine-digit, or even ten-digit crowds.

Another day of marveling at how many people existed in the galaxy!

Lanni, who’d been so obsessed with Chang’an City he’d forgotten everything else, snapped back to reality and saw the two big sisters looking miserable.

Lanni: ?
Lanni: ???

He didn’t get it. Didn’t they already grab the postcards? Why did Margaret and Eugenia still look so unhappy?

Straight-boy Lanni couldn’t understand. He really couldn’t. He only felt that girls’ thoughts were unbelievably strange.

“Boss, a lot of people want traditional Han-style clothing now.”

Ever since the postcards launched, Ivy had been monitoring StarNet chatter. So when “traditional Han-style clothing” hit trending, she finally couldn’t hold back and came to Xie Xingchen.

Having earned commission once, Ivy was extremely invested in new products. She wanted to earn another big chunk—this time not commission, but a project bonus.

Because those clothes weren’t her original creation—they were the traditional clothing of the ancient Earth people from a nation called “Huaxia,” from the boss’s ancestors’ era.

Her only contribution was adding ginkgo-leaf elements into the clothing. That was still design work, but the concept of the clothing came from Xie Xingchen, and the ginkgo was an Earth species, so Ivy hadn’t even dared to hope for commission.

“You want to produce the clothing and sell it?” Xie Xingchen asked.

“Yes. Something this beautiful shouldn’t sink into a forgotten history where nobody knows it,” Ivy said without hesitation.

“Then do it,” Xie Xingchen replied, nodding and giving her the authority to proceed.

“Me? Do it myself? From scratch?” Ivy froze.

She had never touched the fashion industry. If she had to start from zero alone, the difficulty would be enormous.

Xie Xingchen said matter-of-factly, “Yeah. Earth Commerce has never entered the clothing business. If we’re doing apparel, we can only start from scratch.”

Even so… wasn’t the boss trusting her a little too much?

After recovering from her shock, Ivy couldn’t help smiling bitterly. She’d found herself a huge burden.

Xie Xingchen encouraged her, “Work hard. I believe in you. If you pull this off, you’ll definitely get a massive bonus—plus commission.”

The best motivation for workers is simple: pay them.

As long as the money is right, everything is negotiable.

A good boss in the galactic workplace doesn’t sell dreams—so when Xie Xingchen talked about paying, he was generous and direct.

No worker could resist that.

Ivy blinked, stunned. “Commission? I get commission too?”

She was just refining what the boss provided—was he really willing to pay commission?

Xie Xingchen nodded. “The initial concept came from me, sure, but the design is yours. Am I supposed to freeload your work for free?”

A creative fee wasn’t a big deal to him. If so, why not support a healthier industry and protect employees’ wallets?

“Don’t dock pay” and “be fair”—those were the two rules Xie Xingchen set for himself after becoming a boss.

Back when he worked countless part-time jobs, he’d suffered enough from bosses who were always docking money here and there, selling empty promises, and handing out raises and promotions on pure whim.

He’d been rained on before—now he only wanted to hold an umbrella for others.

A surge of emotion rose in Ivy’s chest, so intense her nose stung.

A good company, a good coworker, a good boss—this was truly wonderful.

Even though she hadn’t officially joined yet, Ivy already felt a conviction awaken: she would live as an Earth Commerce employee, and die as an Earth Commerce… employee ghost.

Xie Xingchen wasn’t particularly moved by that. He waved casually. “Go get busy. The sooner you finish, the sooner you get paid.”

Ivy had been about to say more, but after hearing that, she couldn’t help laughing.

Unfortunately, she’d been so moved a second ago that her nose was already sensitive—so…

A snot bubble appeared.

Ivy: “……” Her whole body went rigid.

This was peak social death.

All the loyalty speeches and nice words vanished from her mind. Watching her boss struggle not to laugh, she kept a blank face, collapsed inside, and ended the call.

Ivy: Aaaaah why why why did this happen—my elegant beauty image is ruined.

“Hahahahaha! Get-Rich, I’m dying—she’s so funny!”

Xie Xingchen had held it in until she hung up, and then he finally exploded laughing.

He wasn’t being malicious. It was just… seeing a sharp, capable beauty suddenly blow a snot bubble was unbelievably funny.

Get-Rich glanced at him, expressionless, and complained, “Master, mocking someone behind their back is immoral.”

Xie Xingchen’s lips curved. He didn’t care. “Then just assume I have no morals.”

Get-Rich: “……” That’s brutal.

If you’ve already admitted you have no morals, what am I even supposed to say?

Seeing Get-Rich rendered speechless, Xie Xingchen smugly continued, “Hmph. You can say other things. Don’t you love nagging me about working hard and loving my job and being dedicated?”

Just thinking of that made Xie Xingchen mad.

He’d taught the robots to recite the core civic values so they would understand proper behavior—not so they could chant them at him all day!

He was a proud successor of a certain idealistic tradition!

And yet the “successor” was the one being lectured by robots every day?

Honestly, it made him feel like a failed successor.

Get-Rich defended himself, “I’m just reminding you to be dedicated, honest, friendly, and harmonious…”

After rattling off the list, he added, “For example, what you just did wasn’t very harmonious or friendly.”

Xie Xingchen: “……” He’d picked up a rock and smashed his own foot.

Why bring that up again?!

Xie Xingchen: listen, I can explain.

Xie Xingchen said, “Actually, I’m very harmonious and friendly, okay? Look—I didn’t laugh in her face for the sake of harmony and friendliness. I only laughed afterward because I couldn’t hold it anymore.”

Get-Rich wanted to refute him, but he didn’t know how.

In the end, he somehow got talked into believing his master really was harmonious and friendly.

Xie Xingchen suddenly asked, “Oh right—Get-Rich, did you prepare the things I told you to prepare yesterday?”

Get-Rich shook his head. “Master, you asked me to prepare too many things. Can you tell me which thing you mean?”

Xie Xingchen looked astonished. “Obviously all of it!”

Who prepares New Year stuff one item at a time?

You get everything ready, then do it all together!

Yesterday he’d only asked Get-Rich to prepare paste glue, red paper, calligraphy brushes, scissors, and a dozen or twenty other little odds and ends.

Get-Rich was shocked. “Master, you never said you needed them today!”

A lot of those items had to be custom-made—how could it be done in one day?

Xie Xingchen frowned. “It’s that slow?”

In his view, only the firecrackers and the calligraphy brushes were truly troublesome.

But this was the galactic era—there were stores that made high-end brushes and the like. So when they couldn’t find proper calligraphy brushes, Xie Xingchen had Get-Rich place a custom order at an upscale brushmaker to produce them.

As for firecrackers… they weren’t common, but if people could manufacture planet-cracking munitions, how could they not make firecrackers?

So Xie Xingchen had Get-Rich contact a weapons shop.

The only issue was… when the manufacturer learned the customer wanted a “weapon” that basically did zero damage and only made noise, their expressions became extremely weird.

But Xie Xingchen and Get-Rich had thick skin and didn’t care.

Xie Xingchen even repeatedly told Get-Rich to emphasize one requirement: the firecrackers had to be red—bright, festive red, the kind that looked booming and prosperous.

But then another problem appeared: for them, making firecrackers had zero technical difficulty. The weapons factory simply couldn’t be bothered. So if you didn’t set a delivery deadline in advance, they would probably drag it out forever.

That was exactly what was happening now.

Nobody was interested in Xie Xingchen’s order.

Normally, it would get shoved to the very end and then handed to some apprentice to finish.

So if Xie Xingchen wanted the finished products early, they had to negotiate the delivery date. Otherwise, it would follow default delivery rules.

After Get-Rich explained all that, Xie Xingchen admitted his mistake sincerely. He immediately transferred Get-Rich more money and told him to hurry and get it settled. Ideally everything should arrive today—if not today, then absolutely by tomorrow at the latest.

Get-Rich sighed, exhausted, accepted the money, and went to negotiate with all suppliers.

Since they were paying extra, communication went much more smoothly. Pretty much everyone agreed.

After an hour and a half of negotiations, Get-Rich gained a new task: cooking paste glue.

Even though the firecrackers and brushes would have to wait until tomorrow, they already had scissors and red paper.

So they could start by cutting window paper-cut decorations and sticking them up.

Yes—because Xie Xingchen wanted a stronger “New Year vibe,” he insisted that pasting couplets and window paper-cuts had to be done with traditional paste glue.

And the system actually played along with him.

For the holidays, the system even stocked a lot of glutinous rice. There was enough to cook paste glue, and still enough left to make New Year rice cakes and sticky rice treats.

Enjoying the system’s unusually enthusiastic “love,” Xie Xingchen decided to stick to the plan—just with slight changes. He decided that today would be: cutting paper-cuts, making sticky rice treats, and making rice cakes!

Holding the huge pair of scissors and staring at two large tables piled high with bright red paper, Xie Xingchen said, “Call Get-Rich, Prosperity, and Long-Life over. I’ll teach you how to cut paper-cuts.”

However—

Before he even finished speaking, the system notification chimed.

[System: Congratulations, player: hidden quest triggered — “Celebrate the New Year Joyfully.”
Quest requirement: Livestream at least 30 hours of New Year-related content.
Quest rewards: Advanced traditional-clothing fabrication machine ×1; Advanced jewelry fabrication machine ×1; Plant affinity +1.]

Click here to download the full novel. (EPUB & PDF)