Li Xuan slowly withdrew his hand.
Things weren’t quite turning out as he had imagined.
Amidst the commotion, Xie Liang glared at both Su Xingchuan and Li Xuan, his teeth gritted in frustration as his blood pressure spiked. “You two—”
Li Xuan wore an innocent expression, furrowing his delicate eyebrows and looking at him in confusion. Xie Liang stammered “you, you, you” for a while but couldn’t find the right words to scold them. In the end, he crouched down in front of Xue Ningzi, pitifully holding her hand and pleading, “Honey, don’t listen to his nonsense. We’ve been together for five years—you know me better than anyone!”
Li Xuan felt a bit shaken but insisted on maintaining fairness. “You are—”
Xie Liang snapped angrily, “Don’t you dare say another word!”
Xue Ningzi, embarrassed by the scene, covered her face with her other hand.
Xie Liang pointed at Su Xingchuan and Li Xuan, complaining loudly, “They’re having relationship problems, and I’m just caught in the crossfire. I’m an innocent straight man!”
Xue Ningzi took a deep breath and said, “Keep your voice down.”
Xie Liang clung to Xue Ningzi, burying his face in her shoulder, and whined, “No way, you have to listen to me. Honey, I’m one hundred percent straight!”
The people around them continued to watch the spectacle.
Xue Ningzi: “…”
Li Xuan stared blankly at Xie Liang and Xue Ningzi.
He was confused.
He had prepared for this moment, even watching famous infidelity scenes online. In his mind, the next sequence should have been—
Xie Liang would stand up in shame, and Su Xingchuan would grab him by the collar, demanding angrily why he had cheated.
Xue Ningzi, upon learning the truth, would throw her napkin in Xie Liang’s face, curse him for being unfaithful, and storm off.
Then, Su Xingchuan, heartbroken, would drown his sorrows in alcohol, and Li Xuan could take the opportunity to be there for him.
That’s how it always went in TV dramas.
But… why was reality so different? Why was Xie Liang claiming to be one hundred percent straight?
As Xie Liang continued to defend himself, Su Xingchuan couldn’t help but burst into laughter. Xie Liang turned back to scold him, “What’s so funny? I was trying to help you! Take your guy and get out of here!”
Su Xingchuan wrapped his arm around Li Xuan’s waist, pulling him close. Li Xuan looked up at him, still in a daze.
It was clear that Li Xuan was completely bewildered.
Looking at him, a rush of emotions surged through Su Xingchuan, and he felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him.
Meanwhile, Xie Liang continued to play the victim, leaning against Xue Ningzi’s shoulder, whining, “My reputation, my innocence… my dear…”
Xue Ningzi pushed his head away with a cold expression.
Clearing his throat, Su Xingchuan apologized to Xue Ningzi, “I’m truly sorry, sister-in-law. It’s my fault. I’ll treat you and Xie Liang to dinner tomorrow.”
Xue Ningzi waved them off, signaling for them to leave quickly.
As Su Xingchuan dragged Li Xuan out of the restaurant, Xie Liang remained beside Xue Ningzi, leaning close and whispering to her. The two seemed as intimate as ever.
Li Xuan’s mind had stopped processing.
What was going on?
Su Xingchuan couldn’t stop laughing. He cupped Li Xuan’s face, squishing his cheeks until his lips pouted. “Dr. Li is moonlighting as a judge. Are you jealous?”
Li Xuan stared blankly at him, still frowning.
Leaning closer, Su Xingchuan asked again, “You asked me earlier if I would still like Xie Liang if I found out he was cheating. Do you know the answer now?”
Li Xuan shook his head.
Su Xingchuan wanted to say: Aren’t you the one playing both sides? You keep me hanging, act all pitiful and teary-eyed for no reason, then turn around and go back to Xu Zhengdong. And yet, I still like you. Because of you, my self-esteem has become worthless.
But he couldn’t bear to blame Li Xuan. Instead, he said, “Can’t you see? He’s just my colleague. He’s not gay.”
Li Xuan’s eyelashes trembled, and his breath hitched.
Su Xingchuan continued, “I told him once about how my first love broke up with me. At the hospital that day, I told him you were my first love. To back me up, he pretended to be my boyfriend, just to make you jealous.”
“To make me jealous?”
Su Xingchuan bumped his nose lightly against Li Xuan’s, his eyes filled with affectionate tenderness. “He’s not gay. The woman you just saw is his girlfriend. They’re getting married in a little over a month.”
Li Xuan felt as if someone had hit the pause button on him; he stood frozen. A moment later, he turned to look back at the restaurant, catching a glimpse of Xie Liang and Xue Ningzi. His face flushed bright red.
So he… made a fool of himself?
He had created a scene in front of so many people, only to end up as a joke.
He had finally mustered the courage to act.
For this “exposure,” he had spent a long time building up his resolve, confirming everything with his uncle, and had been anxious since the night before, unable to sleep. In the end, it all came down to one simple reason: it was just to make him jealous.
Su Xingchuan had known he misunderstood and didn’t bother to clarify, watching him stew for over half a month, using Xie Liang as a tool to poke at him repeatedly.
Li Xuan kept a mental note of everything Su Xingchuan had said: how Xie Liang had a better personality, how Xie Liang was more diligent, how he himself was spoiled, petty, and jealous. When listing Li Xuan’s faults, Su Xingchuan had gone on and on, as if Li Xuan wasn’t worth liking.
Su Xingchuan would never understand how much it hurt to hear “you’re not as good as my current boyfriend” from the person he liked the most.
Su Xingchuan was awful, absolutely terrible.
Tears welled up in Li Xuan’s eyes, and his ears turned red with embarrassment and frustration. How could Su Xingchuan treat him like this?
Even his family wouldn’t dare to criticize him like this.
He pushed against Su Xingchuan’s chest, struggling out of his embrace. Without caring about the direction, he turned and started walking away. Su Xingchuan immediately followed, trying to grab his arm, but Li Xuan angrily shook him off.
“Xuan!”
Li Xuan’s eyes were red with anger. “You knew I misunderstood, so why didn’t you explain? Watching me act like a fool, getting jealous—did that make you happy?”
“Of course not.”
“Then why were you laughing? What’s so funny?”
“Because… because I was jealous too.”
Li Xuan was too caught up in his anger to comprehend. He continued venting, shoving Su Xingchuan away, “No one’s ever dared to mess with me like this. You’re done for, Su Xingchuan!”
Even when angry, all he could say was, “You’re done for.”
Su Xingchuan had always known that despite Li Xuan’s cold exterior, he was really just a soft little kitten that liked to show its belly when you got close enough. His claws were only for show.
Now, the kitten was embarrassed, and the kitten was mad.
A couple exited the restaurant, and the boy pointed at Li Xuan, nudging his girlfriend to look.
Li Xuan’s face turned even redder.
He walked off in a huff.
Once again, Su Xingchuan caught up to him, and Li Xuan, with tears streaming down, cried out, “Don’t follow me!” Su Xingchuan stopped in his tracks.
Li Xuan continued walking ahead.
He was going to call his uncle, make sure his uncle dealt with Su Xingchuan properly, strip him of his project, make him pay fines, ruin his career, and leave him penniless!
He pulled out his phone and dialed Xu Zhengdong’s number.
Before the call connected, he hung up.
How could he bear to…
Even if Su Xingchuan could upset him, he couldn’t bring himself to upset Su Xingchuan.
Tears welled up and spilled down his cheeks. Even though he now knew that Xie Liang wasn’t Su Xingchuan’s boyfriend, and the outcome was what he had hoped for, why did he still feel so sad?
Because Su Xingchuan had changed. He used to never dare laugh at him or watch him make a fool of himself.
He was no longer in control of this relationship.
He ran all the way home, and by the time he reached his front door, his legs felt weak, and he collapsed onto the ground. His mother, Xu Nianzhi, rushed over to help him up. “What happened? Did you fall off your bike?”
Li Xuan leaned against his mother’s shoulder, saying nothing.
After checking his arms and knees for injuries and finding none, Xu Nianzhi sighed with relief, gently stroking his hair. “Is it still about
that boy?”
Li Xuan nodded.
“Xuanxuan, what are you afraid of? Can your mother help?”
Li Xuan let all his strength go, leaning into her shoulder. “Mom, not every mom is as kind as you.”
Xu Nianzhi understood instantly.
She softly asked, “Seven years ago, did that boy’s mother come to you? What did she say?”
Li Xuan’s face turned pale.
His mind echoed with the voice of Su Xingchuan’s mother, “Do you know how disgusting your behavior is? Look at the messages you sent him. I beg you not to pass your filthy diseases onto my son. You’re leading such a good boy down a dead-end road. Don’t you fear divine retribution? Do you want my family to be in chaos because of you, to make me die in anguish?”
Her words were like thorns piercing Li Xuan’s heart. Even in his mother’s arms, he couldn’t stop trembling.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Xu Nianzhi asked.
Li Xuan replied, “I was too weak.”
She said tenderly, “You were only twenty back then. Twenty is an age when you’re not prepared for the future.”
Her words soothed him, and he began to feel calmer.
She then asked, “And now?”
Just as she finished speaking, a call from Su Xingchuan came through.
Li Xuan took out his phone, seeing his name flash on the screen. He resolutely declined the call.
A few seconds later, the phone rang again.
Xu Nianzhi saw the caller ID too. She smiled, rubbing his head and brushing off the snowflakes from his hair. “Answer it. It’s okay. I’ll go upstairs.”
Watching his mother walk up the stairs, Li Xuan answered the call.
Su Xingchuan’s voice came through the receiver.
“Baby.”
Just that one word made Li Xuan’s tears fall again.
After a moment of silence, Su Xingchuan spoke slowly, “Last time you asked if my relationship with you from seven years ago was important to me. I said it was, but that’s not entirely true.”
Li Xuan’s heart clenched.
“It’s more than just important. The word ‘important’ isn’t enough,” Su Xingchuan said with a soft laugh, tinged with helplessness. “To be accurate, you changed the course of my life. Every day since we separated has felt repetitive, devoid of meaning.”
Li Xuan stood frozen.
“Sometimes, I wondered, is Li Xuan really that great? He’s just a spoiled brat. When we were dating, I had to serve him tea, care for him, coax him when he was upset, and fill my whole heart with him. Even then, he wasn’t satisfied. If I talked to any other girl, he’d accuse me of not loving him anymore, so unreasonable. He wasn’t a boyfriend; he was practically a god.”
Li Xuan’s sobs grew heavier, and he gripped his shirt tightly.
He wanted to tell Su Xingchuan to stop talking. He didn’t want to hear any of it.
But then, Su Xingchuan said, “But I still like him so much.”
Li Xuan paused.
“When we were together, everything about him was adorable, even his little fits and jealous moments. Even when he was mad, all he had to do was timidly hook his finger with mine, and I’d instantly melt. He didn’t know how to date, but he knew exactly how to handle me.”
“Baby, I miss you so much.”
“At first, I could still find out about your life. I knew you were going to classes every day, that you applied for an exchange program in your third year, that you went to the U.S. for further studies after graduation… But then, you disappeared from my life, and I couldn’t get any news. It took me a long time to move on.”
“Five years ago, when I first graduated, I rented a place near the company. After work, I’d lie alone in bed, wondering what you were doing, whether someone was with you. Sometimes, when I cooked and set the table, I’d think, ‘How happy I’d be if you were sitting across from me.’”
“Our time together was less than five months, but I’ve missed you far longer than that. Sometimes, I even wondered if you had forgotten me and if I was the only one who remembered we were ever together.”
Li Xuan shook his head as he cried.
“There was a time when I selfishly wished you wouldn’t be happy.”
“One year, the company went to Ling Mountain for a team-building trip. There’s a temple there that’s said to be very effective. Everyone went in to pray. As I stepped over the threshold, I thought to myself, ‘I hope Li Xuan never finds someone who treats him as well as I did. I hope he regrets it for the rest of his life.’ But when I knelt down, I changed my mind. I asked the Buddha to let Li Xuan be happy. He’s such a spoiled brat; he can’t handle any hardship. It’s better if he spends his whole life being pampered and carefree.”
Li Xuan cried out, “I’m not carefree at all!”
There was a tremor in Su Xingchuan’s voice as well. “You miss me too, don’t you?”
“I do,” Li Xuan said, feeling wronged.
“I had stopped hoping, but then you showed up again. If you hadn’t appeared this winter…”
Li Xuan’s heart ached as he held his breath and asked anxiously, “What would you have done?”
Would he have kept waiting? Would he have given up?
Or… started a new life?
Su Xingchuan replied, “I would have faced my eighth year of missing you.”
Li Xuan broke into a smile through his tears.
He covered his face with his hands as the tears streamed down between his fingers. He didn’t want to sob aloud, but his whole body trembled uncontrollably. His mind was filled with memories from seven years ago—his and Su Xingchuan’s first hug, their first kiss, all their firsts together. For as much as Su Xingchuan had suffered over those years, Li Xuan had endured just as much. As he silently wept, Su Xingchuan’s gentle voice came through the phone, “Baby, don’t cry.”
Li Xuan looked up, seeing his mother standing on the landing of the second floor, smiling at him. Through his teary eyes, he gazed back at her.
Xu Nianzhi said, “Go.”
Li Xuan jumped up and rushed out the door.
Seven years ago, Su Xingchuan had returned to school from the station. This time, it was Li Xuan’s turn to find him.
Li Xuan took a taxi to Xincheng Residence.
He wanted to wake up in Su Xingchuan’s arms tomorrow morning, just like that time when he had been drunk.
As soon as he got out of the taxi, he ran into the residence.
He still remembered the way, but as he reached the building entrance, someone called his name.
He abruptly stopped and turned around.
It was Su Xingchuan’s mother.
