Chapter 45
Lin Yexun drove Lin Song’an and Tan Ning back to Tianhe Villa; Fang Jin did not accompany them.
During the ride, Tan Ning kept his head lowered. Lin Yexun comforted him, “Tan Ning, just give it some more time. Your auntie’s attitude is already beginning to soften.”
Through the rearview mirror, Tan Ning saw the gentle smile in Lin Yexun’s eyes. Remembering how Lin Qi’s mother had mentioned that Lin Yexun once had a deeply loved beta as his first love, Tan Ning thought that perhaps Lin Song’an’s gaze held not just an elder’s kindness but also reflections of his own regrets through them.
He politely replied, “I understand. Thank you, Uncle.”
Lin Song’an was exhausted, leaning entirely on Tan Ning’s shoulder. Lin Yexun asked, “Shall I have the housekeeper come over? How can you take care of him by yourself?”
Tan Ning instinctively refused. “I can manage, Uncle. Don’t worry.”
“It’s almost winter break. Aren’t you going home?”
“I’ll stay and take care of Song’an until he recovers, and then I’ll go home.”
Though Tan Ning’s tone was light, it carried stubbornness and determination. Knowing that this child had his own mind, Lin Yexun didn’t press further. “Alright then. I’ll trouble you to take care of him. I’ll visit often. If you need anything, you can tell me anytime.”
“Alright. Thank you, Uncle.”
Feeling the car gradually come to a stop, Lin Song’an stirred against Tan Ning’s shoulder, then woke up.
“Time to get out,” Tan Ning patted his hand. “We’re home.”
As soon as he said this, Tan Ning suddenly realized that without the parents’ approval, he shouldn’t refer to Lin Song’an’s house as “home” in front of Lin Yexun. It was overstepping.
But Lin Song’an chuckled softly in his ear, raising his voice, “Mm, we’re home.”
As if backing him up.
Tan Ning pressed his lips together, his ears burning.
Lin Yexun didn’t break the subtle exchange between the two young men. He glanced at his phone. “It’s getting late. Go take a bath and have a good night’s sleep.”
“Got it.” Lin Song’an prepared to get out of the car.
Lin Yexun reminded him, “Try to avoid crowded places for a while.”
Tan Ning lowered his eyes. Even though he was a beta who knew nothing about pheromones, he could hear the subtext in Lin Yexun’s words. After being induced into a rut by an omega’s pheromones, having experienced that feeling, it was hard to forget. And the human body tends to seek pleasure and avoid pain. If he unintentionally encountered an omega with a high compatibility, Lin Song’an could easily be induced into a rut again.
Tan Ning thought: If only I could keep Lin Song’an at home.
“Dad, thanks for taking care of Mom these days.”
“Thank me for what?”
“For comforting her. Seeing you two like this now, I’m quite happy.”
Lin Yexun smiled but said nothing.
Once Lin Song’an got out of the car, he immediately took Tan Ning’s hand. Tan Ning didn’t forget to bend down and close the car door. “Goodbye, Uncle.”
After Lin Yexun’s car drove away, Lin Song’an hugged Tan Ning tightly, refusing to let go. In a playful tone, he said, “You’re so obedient when talking to my dad. Why are you so fierce when talking to me?”
Tan Ning instinctively wanted to retort, “When have I ever been fierce?” But then he recalled how he had gone crazy punching and kicking Lin Song’an at the hotel, even kicking him.
Clearly, Lin Song’an was the victim.
Indeed, Tan Ning had no right to refute.
“I get it,” Lin Song’an concluded for him, smiling. “Being favored gives you the confidence to act spoiled.”
“What about Ye Ling?”
“The Yan family won’t let him off.”
Tan Ning said seriously, “He should be reported to the police.”
Lin Song’an nodded. “Alright, I’ll listen to the top student of the law school, Tan Ning.”
Tan Ning scolded, annoyed, “Don’t be flippant.”
They entered the house. He pushed Lin Song’an onto the sofa and asked, “What do you want to eat tonight?”
“Whatever’s in the fridge is fine. Keep it simple; don’t tire yourself out.”
Tan Ning rummaged through the fridge. When he turned back, Lin Song’an had already fallen asleep. He had taken a sedative less than two hours ago; the fact that he had held on and spoken so smoothly was already a miracle.
Tan Ning went to the bedroom to get a blanket and covered Lin Song’an with it.
When Lin Song’an woke up, it was already late at night. As he raised his hand, he touched Tan Ning’s waist. Even through the sweater, he could feel Tan Ning’s warmth. Almost instinctively, he reached out and wrapped his arm around him.
Tan Ning spoke softly, “Awake?”
Half-asleep, Lin Song’an tried to rest his head on Tan Ning’s lap to continue sleeping, but Tan Ning said, “Get up and eat something. I made crucian carp tofu soup. Have some before you sleep; otherwise, your stomach will be empty, and you’ll feel uncomfortable in the morning.”
“Ning Ning, how come you can make every kind of soup?” Lin Song’an mumbled, stretching lazily.
He thought it was at most ten o’clock, but when he checked his phone, he realized it was already twelve forty.
So Tan Ning had prepared dinner early and had been sitting beside him for almost three hours, quietly waiting for him to wake up.
He stared blankly at Tan Ning. This time, Tan Ning didn’t avoid his gaze. The living room lights were off; only the warm ambient lights cast a soft glow, reflecting in Tan Ning’s amber eyes.
Lin Song’an was completely captivated.
Tan Ning reached out and smoothed a few stray strands of hair from Lin Song’an’s forehead. “Eat a little before sleeping.”
Lin Song’an nodded immediately.
He followed Tan Ning to the dining room. Tan Ning reheated the fish soup. “Seeing you asleep, I didn’t stir-fry any vegetables. I have some pickled radish slices I made a few days ago. Want some?”
“Of course.”
Soon, Tan Ning served two bowls of rice soaked in fish soup.
Lin Song’an adjusted the dining room lights to be brighter. After Tan Ning set down the bowls and chopsticks, he lifted his hands to tie up his hair.
Lin Song’an never tired of watching Tan Ning tie his hair. He loved the way Tan Ning slightly lifted his chin during the process, his dazed gaze, and sometimes, when he’d hold the hair tie in his mouth, revealing his pearly teeth and rosy lips.
Lin Song’an couldn’t understand himself. For the first twenty years of his life, he had been rather restrained. But when it came to Tan Ning, he turned into a young man who couldn’t control his primal urges. Even though Tan Ning hadn’t looked at him once, Lin Song’an’s heart was already drawn in, floating over to Tan Ning’s side.
“Eat,” Tan Ning reminded him.
Lin Song’an chuckled. Just as he was about to eat, he realized he couldn’t manage. His right hand was wrapped in bandages, making it look like a boxing glove.
He tried using chopsticks with his left hand. After several attempts, the chopsticks clattered onto the table.
Tan Ning got up and brought him a spoon.
Lin Song’an felt that using a spoon to eat in front of Tan Ning was somewhat embarrassing and didn’t match his image. So he refused, earnestly saying, “I can quickly master the skill of using chopsticks with my left hand.”
Tan Ning gave him a sidelong glance.
Lin Song’an raised an eyebrow at him. “You don’t believe me?”
He shifted the chopsticks from the base of his thumb to between his fingers, then held them vertically, racking his brains but only managing to pick up a few grains of rice at a time.
Tan Ning couldn’t understand. “Why are you using chopsticks to eat rice soaked in soup?”
“…”
Reluctantly, Lin Song’an switched to the spoon.
After a while, Tan Ning realized why Lin Song’an insisted on using chopsticks. He thought to himself: So childish. What’s embarrassing about using a spoon?
He quickly finished his own meal, then sat down beside Lin Song’an. Lin Song’an was momentarily stunned, glancing down at himself, wondering if he had done something wrong. Tan Ning suddenly reached over, took his bowl and spoon, muttering, “You’re so slow. If I wait for you to finish, it’ll be two in the morning.”
He brought a spoonful to Lin Song’an’s mouth and ordered, “Open up.”
Lin Song’an obediently opened his mouth.
Tan Ning picked a piece of fish without bones and brought it to Lin Song’an’s lips. Lin Song’an was still a bit dazed, so Tan Ning kindly reminded him, “Watch out for bones.”
The young master, who had always been addressed respectfully as “Brother Song’an,” now sat obediently at the table, mouth open, waiting for Tan Ning to pick out fish bones for him. Tan Ning glanced at him, couldn’t help but smile, and deliberately asked, “Isn’t this even more embarrassing?”
Lin Song’an shook his head. “Not at all.”
Being in his twenties and using a spoon might be embarrassing, but having your boyfriend feed you because of an injured hand wasn’t embarrassing at all.
He practically clung to Tan Ning, behaving like a kindergartener waiting for praise. After feeding him more than half the bowl, Tan Ning checked the time. “Alright, let’s stop here for tonight. It’s too late; you won’t digest well.”
Lin Song’an agreed.
Tan Ning pulled out a napkin and wiped his mouth.
Lin Song’an gazed affectionately at Tan Ning, hesitating to speak several times. Tan Ning knew what he wanted to say but didn’t want to hear it just yet. He cleared the dishes, put them in the dishwasher, washed his hands, came out, and turned off the kitchen lights.
Lin Song’an went alone to the master bedroom’s bathroom.
He quickly took off his suit jacket. Earlier at the hotel, he had been lying beside the bathtub for so long; the hem of his clothes was stained with blood, messy and dirty. Lin Song’an hesitated between tossing the clothes into the laundry basket or the trash can, then chose the latter.
When Tan Ning walked in, he saw the expensive suit falling into the small trash can.
He understood the meaning behind Lin Song’an’s action.
Though Lin Song’an had acted relaxed all evening, his heart couldn’t possibly be as carefree as he appeared. Such a life-or-death moment, such a potential for eternal regret—how could Lin Song’an not be haunted by it? He wanted to discard everything related to that day, as if to cleanse away the bad luck.
Always frugal, but Tan Ning had no intention of rescuing that five-figure suit at this moment. He walked in and calmly said, “Wrap your hand with plastic wrap.”
Lin Song’an had unbuttoned a few buttons of his shirt, revealing a broad expanse of chest. He trapped Tan Ning between himself and the sink, lowering his head to touch foreheads. “Ning Ning.”
“Mm?” Tan Ning helped him unbutton his shirt.
Lin Song’an watched Tan Ning’s slender fingers move deftly in front of him. His gaze made Tan Ning a bit flustered, and the last button wouldn’t come undone no matter what. Lin Song’an leaned in, pressing Tan Ning’s hands between them. “Ning Ning, do you have something you want to say?”
“It’s you who wants to say something.”
“I…” Lin Song’an hesitated slightly. “I don’t know where to start.”
Tan Ning reached out and touched the back of Lin Song’an’s neck. The gland there was swollen from being induced into a rut. As he lightly touched it through the suppressant patch, Lin Song’an hugged him tightly.
Leaning against Lin Song’an’s shoulder, Tan Ning murmured, “Lin Song’an, you’ve now experienced an omega’s pheromones.”
“Yes.”
“Then—”
Tan Ning had many questions he wanted to ask, but the words were too painful. In the end, he could only remain silent.
Fortunately, Lin Song’an always understood his silences.
“I’ve experienced it. It was terrifying. In an instant, even breathing became labored. But it was painful, truly painful.”
Tan Ning wrapped his arms around Lin Song’an’s waist.
“Ning Ning, I know what you’re worried about. I—”
Tan Ning interrupted him, “I’m not worried anymore.”
He looked up, his gaze clear and firm. “Lin Song’an, from now on, I won’t let myself be paranoid about pheromones.”
Little cat Tan had changed so much that Lin Song’an almost didn’t recognize him.
Seeing Lin Song’an’s lack of response, Tan Ning added, “I won’t get jealous anymore. I won’t repeatedly use this to hurt myself and hurt you. I won’t do it again.”
Tan Ning wasn’t good at sweet talk. He could only use clumsy promises to express his love, each word striking deeply into Lin Song’an’s heart.
This incident had been as shocking for Tan Ning as it had been for him. He couldn’t imagine how much pain Tan Ning must have felt when he rushed to the hotel and saw the pale-faced Yan Zhiyu surrounded by people. The deeper the love, the deeper the hurt, compounded by the shadowy memories of his childhood.
“Being jealous is still okay. Occasionally taking it out on me is fine too,” Lin Song’an teased.
Tan Ning placed his hands on Lin Song’an’s chest. When he lowered his head, Lin Song’an noticed his ears were bright red.
The shower hadn’t been turned on yet, so it wasn’t due to heat.
Lin Song’an leaned down and kissed him. “Ning Ning, help me take a bath.”
To Lin Song’an, this was flirting. But to the oblivious little cat Tan, it became a command.
Lin Song’an watched as Tan Ning pressed the pump of the shampoo bottle, lathered up some foam, and stood on tiptoe to apply it to his hair. He was forced to lower his head, muttering, “Wait, is this just… a simple bath?”
Tan Ning pinched his ear. “Give it a rest, Young Master Lin.”
“Rest where?”
Tan Ning glanced down; Lin Song’an was clearly full of energy. Tan Ning averted his gaze, trying to keep his breathing steady, as he lathered the shampoo into Lin Song’an’s hair.
“It’s two in the morning.”
“Mm,” Lin Song’an responded earnestly.
He wrapped his good arm around Tan Ning’s waist, his palm gently rubbing against the small of his back. “Little caregiver, how about some special services?”
“No.”
The little caregiver pulled Lin Song’an’s hand away, then turned on the shower, mercilessly letting the water cascade over him.
“Watering it will only make it grow faster,” Lin Song’an reminded.
“…” Tan Ning pushed him away in exasperation.
After much effort, they finally finished. Lying on the bed, Tan Ning held Lin Song’an’s injured hand in both of his hands. “Does this need regular dressing changes?”
Lin Song’an paused slightly. “Yes, it needs to be changed regularly.”
He tried to act casual, but Tan Ning quickly caught on, frowning. “Did you have stitches?”
It must have required stitches. Cutting his hand with glass couldn’t be fixed with just a simple dressing. He hadn’t even thought of that.
Lin Song’an smiled, attempting to use his playful demeanor to dispel Tan Ning’s worries. He snuggled into Tan Ning’s arms, repeatedly saying, “So sleepy, Ning Ning.”
Tan Ning held his shoulder, gently stroking his hair. He stared blankly out the window. After a long while, Lin Song’an moved out of his embrace, lying on his side on the pillow to face Tan Ning.
They were so close they could feel each other’s breath.
The night was deep, with only the faint sound of wind outside. They sank into the soft bed and covers. Lin Song’an held Tan Ning’s hand.
The curtains weren’t fully drawn, and the branches outside swayed in the wind, casting shadows that danced across Tan Ning’s face.
Sometimes illuminating his eyes, sometimes obscuring them.
Lin Song’an suddenly whispered affectionately, “You’re really beautiful.”
Instinctively, Tan Ning lowered his gaze and frowned. He wasn’t used to Lin Song’an’s straightforward words.
“The first time I saw you, that’s what I thought.”
Tan Ning’s eyelashes fluttered.
“A beautiful little cat with amber eyes.”
“A bit of a quirky temper.”
“Back then, you easily tamed Lin Qi. I watched from the side, thinking, if you used the same tactics on me, how many days could I hold out?”
“How many days?” Tan Ning asked curiously.
“How could it take days?” Lin Song’an wrapped a strand of Tan Ning’s hair around his finger, twirling it. “I lost from the first glance.”
Lin Song’an’s rut periods were originally just more intense than those of ordinary alphas. But the frequent occurrences began after he slept with Tan Ning. He hadn’t realized that the price of love at first sight was so high. Surrendering to love meant spending his life fighting against his own instincts.
“Actually, I—” Tan Ning almost blurted out.
He wanted to say: Actually, I didn’t just have impure intentions like I said. From the moment your gaze fell on me, I liked you more and more each day.
But he wasn’t good at expressing such affectionate words. They retreated back down his throat.
It seemed he had never said words like “like” or “love” to Lin Song’an. Those words carried too much weight. Growing up, his family hadn’t provided an environment where he could freely express love. The care he received was always intermittent, sometimes there, sometimes not.
When Yue Ying suddenly remembered she had an older son, or when his grandfather won money at mahjong, he would receive some brief attention.
He couldn’t learn to be like Lin Song’an, who often said “I like Ning Ning.”
He always couldn’t bring himself to say it, needing a lot of mental preparation.
“Actually, what?”
Tan Ning hesitated for a moment but ultimately couldn’t say it. Instead, he leaned in and kissed Lin Song’an’s cheek.
The little cat took the initiative again.
Lin Song’an’s heart melted completely. He wrapped Tan Ning in his arms, sweetly saying, “Kiss me again.”
Tan Ning buried his face in his chest.
“Be generous, little cat Tan. You only give me a little taste each time; it’s not enough.”
Tan Ning murmured softly, “Just a little.”
“Hmm?”
“Just a little, to be used sparingly.”
Lin Song’an smiled, not minding. “Alright.”
In the quiet night, sleepiness gradually overtook Tan Ning in Lin Song’an’s arms, but Lin Song’an continued to stroke his long hair.
“Lin Song’an, aren’t you going to sleep?”
Lin Song’an kissed his forehead and whispered, “You sleep first. I’ll sleep after you fall asleep.”
So Tan Ning closed his eyes, nestling his face into Lin Song’an’s neck.
Listening to Tan Ning’s steady breathing, Lin Song’an finally let out a deep sigh of relief.
If anything had gone wrong today, his relationship with Tan Ning might have ended. He couldn’t bear the thought of surrendering to his instincts; Tan Ning couldn’t bear betrayal. The tumultuous events of a few hours ago still churned in his mind, refusing to settle.
The swelling at the back of his neck made even slight movements painful. Being induced into an early rut period by pheromones and then forcibly suppressed by sedatives left the pheromones rampaging within his body, causing him significant discomfort. But he couldn’t show it in front of Tan Ning.
Tan Ning didn’t understand pheromones; he would only blame himself.
He kissed Tan Ning’s forehead, his palm gently caressing from his hair down to his lower back, as if cherishing a lost and found treasure.
Fortunately, he could still hold Tan Ning and sleep.
Fortunately.
