Chapter 40
Tan Ning used to feel a bit envious when he saw couples holding hands at school. He would think about his friends-with-benefits relationship with Lin Song’an, and sometimes he wished for more. But now, he didn’t feel that way at all.
In just a short hundred meters, he shook off Lin Song’an’s hand ten times. Finally, exasperated, he stopped and looked into Lin Song’an’s smiling face, unable to utter a harsh word.
“Do you think the crisis is over?”
“No.”
“Your mother hasn’t expressed her stance, and Ye Ling will definitely retaliate against us. Nothing has been resolved, so what are you smiling about?!”
Just as Tan Ning finished speaking, two people walking by kept turning back to look at them. So focused on staring, they tripped over a raised curb and fell.
Tan Ning sighed: “…”
Lin Song’an put his arm around Tan Ning’s shoulder and continued walking. “Even though many things aren’t resolved, life goes on. Don’t frown, little cat Tan.”
“Did you deliberately leak the information about Yan Zhiyu to Ye Ling?”
“Yes.”
Tan Ning stopped and sneered, “As expected of a level-nine alpha—you know exactly where your advantages lie.”
Lin Song’an had always been keenly aware of others’ admiration for him.
“Are you jealous?”
“Hmph.”
Lin Song’an’s eyes smiled even more. “Ye Ling is just a childish and willful kid, but only his impulsiveness can break the current stalemate. There’s no other way.”
“He said he would make us pay.”
After a moment of silence, Lin Song’an said, “It shouldn’t be that bad. From what I know of him, he’s probably smashing our photos and anything related to me. Then… tomorrow he’ll likely come to me, trying to threaten or persuade me. When that doesn’t work, he’ll come to you.”
Tan Ning sighed.
“When the time comes, Ning Ning, you have to hold your ground.”
“What does that have to do with me? You’re the one who caused this.”
In his heart, Tan Ning grumbled: So, “from what you know of him”? How well do you know him? Childhood sweethearts—how boring. Just growing up together, and you make it sound so ambiguous.
Tan Ning quickened his pace. Lin Song’an hurried to catch up, prying open the gaps between Tan Ning’s tightly clenched fists, slipping his fingers in to interlock with his.
In the end, they were holding hands.
The wind rustled through the forest, messing up Tan Ning’s hair. He used his other hand to press down the stray strands and turned to see Lin Song’an staring straight at him.
Lin Song’an’s eyes and brows were filled with a smile. “I’ve imagined many times walking with you like this on campus.”
Feeling a bit awkward, Tan Ning averted his gaze, trying to withdraw his hand. “Let go of me.”
“Answer me, little cat Tan. Let’s get back together.”
“Who dated you? Who broke up with you?” Tan Ning muttered with a straight face. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t understand?” Lin Song’an didn’t seem surprised by Tan Ning’s reaction. Smiling, he said, “Then let me help you recall. We first met at Lin Qi’s house in March two years ago. Not long after, little cat Tan started pursuing me—first by deliberately postponing Lin Qi’s tutoring time to meet me, then asking me to watch movies. Later, during a heavy rain, you got trapped in my car, came back to my place, and even wore my—”
Tan Ning quickly covered his mouth.
It happened to be the library’s closing time, and more people were on the road. Although it was evening and visibility wasn’t great, Lin Song’an stood out too much in the crowd, causing people to frequently turn their heads. They’d be stunned upon seeing Tan Ning in front of him.
Whispers buzzed incessantly. Annoyed, Tan Ning pulled Lin Song’an into a small grove nearby. Before he could say anything, Lin Song’an leaned in and kissed him.
He wrapped his arms around Tan Ning’s waist, struggling to suppress his impulse.
Tan Ning knew that Lin Song’an was only pretending to be relaxed in front of him. Facing his mother’s aggressive pressure, Lin Song’an was bearing stress from both sides—having to appease his mother and reassure Tan Ning.
Actually, Tan Ning wanted to tell him: From the moment I agreed to run away with you, I gave myself entirely to you.
I will never be the one to give up first.
“Idiot,” Tan Ning said.
Lin Song’an hugged him tighter.
“Shall we get back together?”
Tan Ning slowly extended his arms and hugged Lin Song’an’s waist. He realized that such a simple gesture of embracing was something he had never initiated before. He was always used to being held tightly by Lin Song’an. When Lin Song’an hugged him, he’d tighten his arms and gently rub his back with his broad palms.
So Tan Ning mimicked Lin Song’an’s actions, touching his back. He said, “Okay, let’s get back together.”
He didn’t want to waste any more time.
Lin Song’an’s kiss landed on the side of Tan Ning’s neck.
That evening, Tan Ning thought Lin Song’an would drag him back to Tianhe Villa again. After all, Lin Song’an seemed eager. But instead, Lin Song’an only sent him to the dormitory entrance, pinched his cheek, and said, “Go on in.”
Tan Ning felt puzzled.
As he stepped onto the stairs, he couldn’t help but look back. Lin Song’an raised an eyebrow at him.
Tan Ning wanted to ask but couldn’t find the words. In the end, he returned to the dormitory with confusion and a hint of dissatisfaction.
His dorm was on the third floor. Usually, when he went upstairs, people passing by would avoid him as if he carried some disease. But today, the situation was different. Everyone was curious about the face beneath his long hair—how could he have attracted Lin Song’an?
If Tan Ning happened to look up and meet someone’s gaze, they’d awkwardly smile—a somewhat friendly gesture.
Tan Ning felt like he had become an inexplicably overpriced ornamental plant. Everyone was trying to find the rationale behind his “value” in the details.
Maybe he’s good-looking? But he’s a beta.
Maybe he’s rich? But he dresses like that.
Maybe he has a great personality? Even less likely…
Tan Ning felt as if he could hear these thoughts from the eyes and expressions of the passing students.
When he finally reached the dormitory door, He Qingrui was outside on the phone. Seeing someone from the neighboring dorm poking their head out to look at Tan Ning, he stood in front of Tan Ning and shouted, “What are you looking at? What’s with that expression? So disrespectful!”
The student immediately withdrew their head awkwardly.
Tan Ning put down his bag and smiled at He Qingrui. “Thanks.”
“You’re really famous now!” He Qingrui hung up the phone and walked into the dorm.
Tan Ning shrugged.
Xu Qingyang, who had just heard about this gossip today, saw He Qingrui’s calm demeanor and was shocked. “You knew all along?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait, hold on,” Xu Qingyang turned to Tan Ning and asked, “You’ve been with Lin Song’an all this time? Since when?”
Tan Ning thought for a moment. “April, two years ago.”
Xu Qingyang almost spat out his cola.
During the nearly two years when Tan Ning was ostracized by the entire dorm and disliked by the whole class, he was actually dating the future heir of Tianhe Group, worth billions?
Xu Qingyang shook his head, unable to hide his inner shock. “You’re really… unfazed by honor or disgrace.”
Tan Ning’s mind was entirely occupied with why Lin Song’an didn’t take him home that night. He wanted to ask He Qingrui but felt embarrassed. Even after taking a shower, he was still hung up on it.
What you think about during the day often appears in your dreams at night.
In his dream, he returned to May two years ago—their first time together.
That day, it was raining heavily. Wind and rain battered the windows. Tan Ning sat on the bed wearing Lin Song’an’s shirt. Lin Song’an walked over and asked him, “What does this mean?”
Tan Ning didn’t speak, just stared directly at him.
Lin Song’an thought: What is Tan Ning after? Money? But he never accepted any gifts from me. Playing hard to get? But Tan Ning’s gaze was always direct.
All his actions conveyed only one message: I want to be with you.
Lin Song’an had experienced many admirers since childhood, but none like Tan Ning.
He carried Tan Ning to the center of the bed and leaned over him.
Tan Ning’s chest rose and fell rapidly, but his gaze remained calm. Lin Song’an first kissed his cheek.
Tan Ning was so fair-skinned that his blush was very noticeable.
Lin Song’an kissed one spot, and it would turn bright red afterward. His heart trembled at how adorable Tan Ning was.
He touched Tan Ning’s hair, winding the strands around his fingertips. Tan Ning felt ticklish and burrowed into Lin Song’an’s arms.
Tan Ning had a unique kind of innocence that even he wasn’t aware of. When he leaned into Lin Song’an, there was no flirtatiousness, no attempt to please—perhaps even a bit of confusion. He simply used his eyes to ask Lin Song’an: Why haven’t you started yet?
Lin Song’an completely lost control.
He captured Tan Ning’s lips, gently biting and sucking.
At this point, Tan Ning began to feel a bit nervous, placing his hands on Lin Song’an’s shoulders, his fingertips cold and trembling. Lin Song’an unbuttoned his shirt one by one, revealing Tan Ning’s smooth, fair skin bit by bit. Back then, Lin Song’an was still somewhat gentlemanly, without any rough or inappropriate actions. He asked for Tan Ning’s consent at every step. Tan Ning just held him, staring blankly at the ceiling. Whatever Lin Song’an asked, he agreed to.
Their first time wasn’t particularly comfortable. Two novices—one with only theoretical knowledge, the other only knowing how to endure discomfort. Lin Song’an held Tan Ning in his arms over the quilt, wanting to apologize but unable to find the words.
After a long while, Tan Ning suddenly said, “It was good.”
This ignited the frustration in Lin Song’an’s heart. Tan Ning had intended to comfort Lin Song’an and go to sleep, but after saying that, neither of them could sleep.
Looking at Tan Ning in his arms, covered in faint marks like blooming flowers—both beautiful and pitiful—with his soft black hair tousled and a sheen of sweat on his forehead, Lin Song’an leaned in closer. He heard Tan Ning’s soft, cat-like murmurs, “Lin Song’an, please…”
Lin Song’an quickly held him tighter.
But Tan Ning pleaded, “Hold me tighter.”
So Lin Song’an tightened his arms. Tan Ning nestled softly in his embrace and finally fell asleep.
From that day on, Lin Song’an got used to holding him tightly.
In fact, Tan Ning didn’t ask for anything in this relationship. Before he heard Lin Song’an say “I’m not in a relationship,” he even refused to accept any gifts from him.
He simply wanted Lin Song’an to hold him a little tighter.
Being cherished by someone like Lin Song’an made him feel, perhaps mistakenly, that he was also worthy of love.
When he woke up again, it was already the next morning.
He Qingrui’s alarm kept ringing, but he didn’t wake up. Tan Ning was awakened first.
Groggily opening his eyes, Tan Ning’s phone suddenly vibrated. He picked it up to check.
[Little cat Tan, you have three classes in a row this morning, right? Your boyfriend has bought you breakfast. Come to the nearby parking lot quickly.]
Tan Ning blinked, confirming he wasn’t dreaming.
A few seconds later, he suddenly became alert. He got dressed, thought for a moment, then climbed back up and changed his loose dark gray sweatshirt to a white shirt and beige sweater, adding a blue wool coat on top.
While washing up, he tied his hair back and combed it simply.
Should look better than before, Tan Ning thought.
He went downstairs like a gust of wind. A classmate carrying water upstairs wondered, “Who was that? Looks familiar.”
Tan Ning ran to the parking lot but slowed down as he approached, taking deep breaths to steady himself.
He saw Lin Song’an’s Land Rover.
When he got in, Lin Song’an was adjusting the car’s music. At first glance, he noticed something different about Tan Ning today. His eyes lit up, and he raised an eyebrow, smiling. “Ning Ning, are you going on a date today? You look so nice.”
Tan Ning shook his head. “No.”
“Then who are you dressing up for?”
He asked knowingly, but Tan Ning didn’t cooperate.
“I went to the cafeteria but didn’t find anything appetizing, so I drove out to get some food. Here are some steamed items, soy milk and fried dough sticks, and a bowl of small wontons. Choose what you’d like first; I’ll have what’s left.”
Tan Ning remained silent.
Lin Song’an continued, “This place has great beef potstickers, but they’re too greasy. I remember you don’t like oily food in the morning, so I bought their steamed dumplings. You can try them. If you don’t like them, have the wontons—you’ve had them before and said you liked them. And these fried dough sticks are freshly made, still crispy now.”
Lin Song’an took out a fried dough stick, bringing it to Tan Ning’s mouth like coaxing a child. “Have a bite.”
Tan Ning obediently took a bite.
“Crispy, isn’t it? The ones in the school cafeteria get soggy after sitting out; they’re not as good.”
Lin Song’an then picked up a piece of steamed cake for him to try. “This is good too.”
Tan Ning looked at Lin Song’an.
Probably after breakfast, Lin Song’an would go to the company. He was wearing a gray plaid suit with a black coat over it, looking both handsome and mature.
Lin Song’an had actually already moved beyond student life, but for Tan Ning, he attended classes, sent him back to the dorm, and accompanied him for breakfast because he wanted Tan Ning to experience a real campus romance.
“Ning Ning, try this,” Lin Song’an said softly.
Tan Ning didn’t want the pastry.
He avoided the plastic food containers, leaned over, and kissed Lin Song’an’s lips.
Just a light peck, then he quickly sat back, holding the small wontons and eating on his own.
It took Lin Song’an a while to recover, looking at Tan Ning in pleasant surprise. “Just now…”
Did Tan Ning kiss him?
Tan Ning’s expression was so calm, as if nothing had happened.
After eating, Tan Ning took a couple of sips of soy milk from Lin Song’an’s hand. Lin Song’an, like a worried parent, fretted about Tan Ning being hungry or thirsty. “Did you bring your thermos?”
Finding him nagging, Tan Ning struggled to shake off his hand. “You’re so annoying. I’m leaving.”
But Lin Song’an grabbed him again. “Kiss me once more.”
Tan Ning shook his head.
Little cat Tan had a lot of love to give, but because he was afraid of getting hurt, he could only offer a little at a time, carefully placing it in Lin Song’an’s hands, hoping he would cherish it.
As Tan Ning walked out of the parking lot, he received a message from Lin Song’an: [Boyfriend, see you tonight.]
Tan Ning quickened his pace, stepping on the patterned tiles on the ground, feeling lighter all over.
