Chapter 34
Lin Song’an felt that Tan Ning was not physically resisting him, but the moonlight streaming through the window reflected the cold gaze in Tan Ning’s eyes.
He stopped, their lips parted.
“Why do you never smile at me?”
Tan Ning raised his eyes to look at him. Lin Song’an pressed his thumb against the corner of Tan Ning’s mouth, lifting it slightly. “Ning Ning, why can’t you show me a kinder expression?”
“What do you mean by a kinder expression?”
“Let me feel that you like me too.”
“And then wait for your mother to separate us?”
Lin Song’an’s expression changed abruptly. He released Tan Ning suddenly and took a step back. “I’m sorry.”
They were once again in the cramped club duty room. Tan Ning found the light switch on the wall, and the room instantly brightened. He found a chair to sit on and noticed it was the Psychology Association’s duty room, with scattered flyers for their weekend cinema on the floor.
He and Lin Song’an had watched a movie together once. At that time, his mind was entirely on Lin Song’an—stealing glances at his hands and side profile. By the time the noisy action film ended, he still didn’t know what it was about, and it seemed Lin Song’an didn’t either.
Because when the movie ended and they followed the crowd out, Lin Song’an held his hand.
Tan Ning stared blankly at his hand being held. From his arm to his entire body, he felt stiff, numb, and lost all sensation.
Lately, he often recalled past events.
Tan Ning said to Lin Song’an, “I knew long ago that your rut period can only be resolved by a complete marking with an omega. I also knew that your father was once in the same situation as you and what choice he ultimately made.”
“I’m different from him.”
“How much longer can you hold on?”
“You said you would give me time.”
“I will,” Tan Ning lowered his head and saw the watch on Lin Song’an’s wrist. The silver hands moved slowly over the bluish dial; time was eternal and lengthy. He smiled helplessly. “I just don’t know what we’re waiting for—what kind of result we’re expecting.”
Lin Song’an crouched down in front of him, looking up.
They gazed at each other for a long time. Finally, Lin Song’an took Tan Ning’s hand, his thumb gently rubbing Tan Ning’s palm.
“Ning Ning, are you very disappointed in me?”
Tan Ning shook his head.
He was more disappointed in himself; He had imagined countless times that day at Lin Qi’s house, that he would go downstairs to introduce himself to Lin Song’an’s mother. He imagined that if she made things difficult for them, he would stand in front of Lin Song’an and say he wasn’t afraid of anything—he just wanted to be with Lin Song’an.
But he lacked the courage. He didn’t have much confidence in Lin Song’an or himself.
“Is that person a new friend you’ve made?”
Tan Ning had never understood why Lin Song’an became jealous so easily. He seemed like someone who should be at ease in relationships.
“Yes.”
“A normal friend?” Lin Song’an looked into Tan Ning’s eyes.
Tan Ning heard the underlying meaning. Both of them desperately needed unwavering affirmation in their relationship at this moment.
But after giving that affirmation, what should they do next?
Tan Ning didn’t answer.
Lin Song’an’s eyes were bloodshot. He anxiously tightened his grip on Tan Ning’s hand. “My mom is very stubborn. You probably heard some things from Lin Qi. This isn’t something that can be resolved quickly. Ning Ning, you’re still in school, and I don’t have enough ability yet—”
Lin Song’an suddenly stopped, slowly lowering his gaze, murmuring, “Ning Ning, I’ve made you very disappointed, haven’t I?”
Tan Ning felt a lump in his throat.
“I shouldn’t be so constrained by my parents. I’m sorry.”
He released Tan Ning’s hand.
Tan Ning’s fingertips suddenly curled, wanting to hold on, but Lin Song’an had already stood up.
“If—I mean if—you’re really tired and have fallen for someone else, just let me know,” Lin Song’an paused, his voice hoarse and strained. “That’s all.”
After Lin Song’an left, Tan Ning felt as if all his strength had been drained. He slowly crouched down and then sat on the floor.
On one of the flyers scattered on the ground, elegant script read: “This week’s movie: ‘Before Sunrise’.” Below it was a line in small print: “The meeting itself is the meaning.”
Tan Ning thought: Had he used up all his good fortune during the days he met Lin Song’an?
Lin Song’an was sulking with him, and he was sulking with Lin Song’an. Clearly, they both knew that what they needed most at this moment was a hug, a kiss.
So childish. Many years later, when Tan Ning looked back, he still felt that they were very immature back then. But if he returned to this moment, he wouldn’t have done any better. He probably still wouldn’t say that sentence: “Lin Song’an, you are irreplaceable in my heart.”
People are always prone to shirking responsibility, just like over ten years ago when Yue Ying glanced back at him during the car accident. Inevitably, when Tan Ning couldn’t bear his own pain, he transferred it to Lin Song’an.
Tan Ning wiped away his tears, returned to the dormitory, and slept until ten o’clock the next morning. He was awakened by He Qingrui climbing up his ladder, shaking his bed frantically. “Tan Ning! Tan Ning! Wake up! Something big has happened!”
Tan Ning woke up groggily.
“You’ve been exposed on the campus forum! Both the confession wall and Weibo are talking about you, saying that… that you’re being kept by an old man…”
Tan Ning was confused for a long time. He had to take the phone that He Qingrui held up to his face. He saw a long post on the confession wall.
[Dear Confession Wall, please hide my ID! I have some gossip to share. Tan Ning from Law School’s Class of 2020—looks like he’s being kept! I saw with my own eyes that he got out of a luxury car near the school. In the car was a middle-aged man close to fifty years old, emmm. According to his roommate, he’s returned to the dorm several times in the early morning with many marks on his neck, looking exactly like after, you know… uh uh…]
[Photo]
[Photo]
Tan Ning squinted his eyes.
The photos were indeed of him, and it was indeed a luxury car—but it was the car of Lin Qi’s father, Lin Yecheng.
There were already over two hundred comments.
[It’s that Tan Ning again; he’s always causing drama.]
[Yeah, stirring up news every few days.]
[Is he the beta from last year who almost embarrassed the Law School dean?]
[Does he enjoy being unique and being watched and discussed?]
[Haven’t you met people like this? They just want to attract attention.]
[Didn’t expect this side of him—so disgusting.]
[I have to say, do old men have such tastes now? I thought he’d be better dressed than that, haha.]
[Didn’t he win the Tianhe Scholarship last year? With such moral corruption, can we report him and have his scholarship revoked?]
“Stop reading, Tan Ning. Let’s go find the counselor.”
Tan Ning still felt dizzy. He didn’t understand why things had been happening one after another recently, making him anxious and overwhelmed.
After getting dressed and washing up, he and He Qingrui went to the counselor’s office, only to find Zheng Yu already there.
He immediately guessed who was behind this.
“Zheng Yu!” He Qingrui turned angrily to the counselor, saying indignantly, “Teacher, Zheng Yu is the one who posted that! He’s trying to frame Tan Ning!”
Zheng Yu sat calmly in his seat.
“You misunderstand. Classmate Zheng Yu came specifically to inform me about this,” the counselor said.
He Qingrui was so angry he laughed. “How is that possible?”
Tan Ning stepped forward calmly and said, “Teacher, those rumors are false. I didn’t do those things. Please help contact the students responsible for the platform.”
The counselor looked him up and down, earnestly saying, “Tan Ning, you still need to respect yourself.”
It was clear the counselor didn’t fully believe him.
Tan Ning was an unusual person. Based on the broken window effect, any accusation wouldn’t seem strange if placed on him.
Tan Ning felt momentarily disoriented. Under his feet were the tiles of the Law School, and on the wall hung Ban Gu’s famous saying: “The law is to suppress the violent and support the weak, making it hard to offend and easy to avoid.”
He felt a sense of absurd comedy.
He said to the counselor, “I didn’t do those things.”
The counselor’s expression became a bit awkward, perhaps because Tan Ning appeared too calm. “Do you have any evidence to prove it? Some students have already sent anonymous letters wanting to report you and revoke your scholarship.”
He Qingrui was red-faced with anger. Tan Ning chuckled wryly. “How can I prove something that never happened? Whoever asserts must provide evidence. Since it’s Classmate Zheng Yu accusing me, he should provide the evidence.”
Zheng Yu spread his hands. “What’s it got to do with me?”
He took out his phone, looking innocent. “You can check whether I posted anything.”
The counselor sighed. “Alright, Tan Ning, now isn’t the time to investigate who reported it. You—”
“Then what should we be investigating?”
The door was pushed open, and Lin Song’an walked in.
Tan Ning was stunned.
Lin Song’an pulled Tan Ning behind him and placed some documents on the counselor’s desk. “Teacher Jiang, these are records provided by several platforms. The anonymous accounts used for the posts correspond to this Classmate Zheng’s phone number.”
Zheng Yu stood up in fright.
Even the counselor stood up. “Lin Song’an… Lin…”
“As for those photos, that car belongs to my uncle. Tan Ning is my cousin’s tutor. That day, Tan Ning accepted my uncle’s invitation for a ride.”
“Tan Ning and I are very good friends.”
With that one sentence, all of Zheng Yu’s accusations became ridiculous.
Zheng Yu’s face turned pale.
After a moment, the counselor recovered and quickly said, “Zheng Yu, apologize to Tan Ning immediately. I’ll contact them to withdraw the posts.”
“No need; I’ve already handled it,” Lin Song’an said casually, casting a glance at Zheng Yu.
Zheng Yu’s legs went weak. He hurriedly bowed to Tan Ning. “I’m sorry, Tan Ning. I’m sorry.”
He Qingrui snorted.
As Zheng Yu was about to straighten up, Lin Song’an placed his hand on his shoulder.
Lin Song’an didn’t apply force, just lightly rested his hand, but Zheng Yu didn’t dare to stand up. Lin Song’an said coldly, “Saying sorry isn’t enough, Classmate Zheng. You need to experience the same discomfort as Tan Ning—that’s a real apology.”
An hour later, Zheng Yu issued a public apology letter in the class group, on the school’s public account, and all related platforms. He was subsequently expelled.
*
Tan Ning sat on a bench outside the Law School, waiting for Lin Song’an to finish handling matters in the dean’s office.
When he was younger, due to his withdrawn personality, he often upset his deskmates, who would exaggerate and complain to the teacher, and Tan Ning would be called to bring his parents.
Yue Ying wouldn’t come; only his grandfather would.
His grandfather always believed that betas were naturally weak, so as soon as he arrived, he’d make Tan Ning apologize first. So Tan Ning would apologize and then move his seat to the back by himself.
But now, Lin Song’an made Zheng Yu apologize to him.
He heard Lin Song’an’s footsteps.
Lin Song’an looked like he’d rushed over from the company, still wearing a shirt and trousers. He walked up to Tan Ning but didn’t sit down. He simply said, “Everything’s taken care of.”
“Thank you,” Tan Ning said.
“You’re welcome.”
Tan Ning lowered his head, fiddling with his fingers, appearing as if he had nothing to say to Lin Song’an.
Lin Song’an’s phone vibrated twice—probably the company urging him to return.
He tried to speak several times but held back.
“Then I’ll head back to the company.”
Tan Ning watched Lin Song’an’s figure gradually disappear into the distance.
A few days later, Tan Ning came out of the library. Before he knew it, December had arrived. He pulled his collar tight to keep the wind out.
He Qingrui followed him out. “Tan Ning, do you have any plans today?”
“Plans?” Tan Ning was puzzled.
“You just finished the IELTS exam yesterday. Don’t you want to have some fun today? You shouldn’t always be burying your head in books—you’ll waste the best time of your university life.”
Tan Ning smiled.
“What are you doing this afternoon?”
“I have something to do.”
“Oh?”
Back at the dormitory, Tan Ning emptied the books from his bag and packed a set of clothes. He Qingrui immediately understood.
Tan Ning didn’t offer any explanation. He took down a small square box from his bed—the one he’d touched so much that the faux leather was peeling off—put it into his bag, and then walked alone toward the subway station outside the school gate.
Arriving at the Tianhe villa, he bought groceries as usual.
This time, he didn’t choose ingredients for making noodles.
Carrying two large bags, he walked to the gate. The password was still the familiar 210315.
This time, the “battlefield” extended to the living room.
A potted plant, half as tall as a person, between the living room and the bedroom had fallen to the ground, almost affecting the carpet.
The bedroom was still a mess.
When Young Master Lin went berserk during his rut periods, he was completely irrational. Anything within reach that could be smashed was not spared.
His dressing room originally had no door. It was Tan Ning who insisted he add a lockable door to prevent him from throwing those seven-figure items like teacups and bowls when he lost control.
He would usually go on a rampage first, and when utterly exhausted, he’d experience overwhelming desire.
Tan Ning pushed open the door. Lin Song’an was lying dazedly by the bed, his forehead covered in sweat, hair disheveled, lacking his usual elegant demeanor. He held a cigarette between his fingers.
Seeing Tan Ning enter, he extinguished the cigarette and habitually explained, “First time—really the first time. I wanted to see if it could distract me.”
Tan Ning walked over, holding a small bottle of liquid.
Lin Song’an’s smile faded.
It was a bottle of omega pheromone extract.
“Tan Ning, this is meaningless.” He looked away.
Tan Ning raised the vial, bringing it before Lin Song’an’s eyes.
Lin Song’an looked at him. “Do you really want me to use this?”
Tan Ning remained silent.
Lin Song’an took the vial. Tan Ning’s eyelashes trembled; their mutual stubbornness was hurting both of them.
Lin Song’an asked again, “Do you really want me to use this?”
Tan Ning shook his head.
He looked directly at Lin Song’an and said, “I don’t.”
Lin Song’an placed the vial on the bedside table, then pulled Tan Ning into his arms, pressing him down beneath him, relentlessly embracing him. He bit fiercely at Tan Ning’s neck, growling, “Tan Ning the little cat, you’re only fierce in your own nest.”
Tan Ning felt wronged. Hugging a pillow, everything before his eyes was a blur.
Lin Song’an bit his cheek.
Tan Ning thought: I’m not even fierce in my own nest.
—
Author’s Note:
The next few chapters will be sweet.
