Chapter 32
“Xiao Qi, how are you feeling now? Your mother said you had a high fever for two days after your differentiation.” Fang Jin placed her elegant handbag down, sat gracefully on the sofa, and looked up at Lin Qi.
Lin Qi’s mind was still on Tan Ning. It wasn’t until Tan Ning lightly coughed that he snapped back to reality. With a sullen face and wandering eyes, he walked into the living room and answered honestly, “Much better now. I don’t feel much of anything anymore, just a stiff neck.”
“It’s normal to feel unwell after your first inhibitor injection. Eat more nutritious food and stop eating junk food.”
“Got it,” Lin Qi replied listlessly.
Just then, Lin Qi’s father, Lin Yecheng, came downstairs. Upon seeing Lin Song’an, his expression softened, and he kindly said, “Song’an, you’re here. How have you been lately? You’ve been traveling a lot with your father—are you tired?”
Lin Song’an forced a light tone. “I’m fine; my father is the one working hard.”
“Your father has indeed worked hard over the years, which is why he wants you to take over early,” Lin Yecheng sat down. Glancing at the daydreaming Lin Qi nearby, he said displeased, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be studying?”
Lin Qi glanced hopefully at Lin Song’an, then back at Tan Ning. Seeing that both of them looked indifferent while he was the only one anxious, he felt like the eunuch worrying more than the emperor.
But since Lin Song’an didn’t look his way, Lin Qi could only say dejectedly to Fang Jin, “Auntie, I’ll go upstairs to study.”
Fang Jin took a sip of tea and said, “Go ahead.”
Tan Ning turned and returned to the bedroom first. Lin Qi followed him in, grumbling, “I feel uncomfortable all over when I see her. See, I was right. Every three sentences, she has to give an order. So annoying.”
“On page 98 of your workbook, there’s a weekly practice—twenty questions in total. Please do them,” Tan Ning said.
“Teacher Tan…”
“Is half an hour enough?”
“Sister-in-law…”
Tan Ning put down his notebook and asked Lin Qi, “There’s still an hour left of tutoring. If you keep delaying, we’ll have to extend the time tomorrow.”
“Oh.” Lin Qi obediently picked up his pen.
But within two minutes, he couldn’t hold back and turned to ask, “Why don’t you have any reaction? Neither does my cousin. Why? Why won’t you tell Auntie? I’m getting anxious!”
Lin Qi’s overly naive “why” instantly pricked Tan Ning.
Why not tell Fang Jin? Isn’t it obvious?
Just now on the stairs, the outcome of whether to tell her was already clear. Fang Jin’s gaze didn’t linger on Tan Ning at all, which meant he didn’t even catch her eye.
Indeed, Tan Ning didn’t look like an omega. He was taller than most omegas, his facial features weren’t soft enough, his skin was pale, and his amber eyes appeared cold and unfeeling—the kind of rebellious look elders disliked the most.
Tan Ning lowered his eyes and remained silent. Lin Qi had to shut up.
Not hearing any noise downstairs, Lin Qi swung his legs restlessly. He was anxious: Why hasn’t Cousin come up yet?
Downstairs, Lin Song’an was being bombarded by his mother and uncle. Fang Jin wanted him to go to Germany for further studies after graduation and then return to inherit the family business. Lin Yecheng agreed.
The intention of going to Germany was obvious.
“You are your father’s only son. Tianhe Group will be yours sooner or later. Your father and I can work for another five or six years. If you go abroad to complete your master’s and then return, the timing will be just right,” Lin Yecheng supported Fang Jin’s suggestion.
Fang Jin suddenly remembered, “By the way, did you add that boy on WeChat?”
Lin Song’an had been staring at the coffee table. Fang Jin nudged his arm, “I’m talking to you.”
Lin Song’an snapped back, “What?”
“Yan Zhiyu—the omega with a high compatibility with you. Mom mentioned him to you a few days ago. I’ve already asked his mother to tell him and sent your WeChat to him. Hasn’t he added you yet?”
“No.”
“That’s strange. From what his parents said, after seeing your photo, he was willing.”
Lin Yecheng asked Lin Song’an, “What do you think?”
“I don’t want to,” Lin Song’an shook his head. “I don’t want to go abroad, and I don’t want to accept an arranged marriage.”
Fang Jin gave him a sidelong glance.
Lin Yecheng said angrily, “Song’an, how did you become so unreasonable? I was just using you as an example to educate Lin Qi.”
“Then what do you want to do?” Fang Jin asked.
Lin Song’an said, “Just as things are now—it’s fine.”
“Having a rut period once a month is fine? Medication not working is fine?”
“It is.”
Fang Jin noticed the curious glances from Lin Yecheng and his wife. They seemed surprised that the most outstanding member of the younger generation had suddenly changed. Unable to accept her pride and joy embarrassing her in front of others, she didn’t lose her temper but pretended to be calm, saying, “Let’s talk about it after that boy contacts you.”
She feigned magnanimity, and Lin Song’an couldn’t tear down the facade, so he stood up and said, “I’ll go check on Lin Qi.”
Mrs. Lin, seeing the atmosphere relax, smiled and brought out some snacks. “Let the kids spend time together.”
Lin Song’an went upstairs. When he reached Lin Qi’s bedroom door, he knocked. Lin Qi called out loudly, “Come in.”
Opening the door, he saw Lin Qi’s excited face.
Tan Ning remained motionless, correcting Lin Qi’s exercises.
The door hadn’t closed when Tan Ning said, “Lin Qi, you’ve misread many questions.”
“Oh,” Lin Qi lowered his head to look at the problems.
After Lin Song’an closed the door, Tan Ning still acted as if he didn’t exist, using a red pen to circle Lin Qi’s mistakes. “You’re even misreading numbers. What were you thinking while doing the problems?”
Lin Song’an walked over to the desk.
“For problems where the given conditions don’t seem related, the first step is to think about how to change the position of one of the line segments. I’ve told you many times and worked through examples. Why can’t you recall it when you do it yourself?”
“I…” Lin Qi feared Tan Ning’s serious demeanor the most and couldn’t help but act spoiled, “I just differentiated; my head feels dizzy.”
“Then first correct your mistakes and copy them into your error notebook.”
“Alright.”
Tan Ning completely ignored Lin Song’an, and Lin Qi didn’t dare to speak to him proactively. It wasn’t until Lin Song’an stopped by the desk that he said, “Lin Qi, stand guard at the door.”
Lin Qi stood up, grinning mischievously.
“Okay!”
He immediately stood valiantly by the bedroom door, pressing his ear against it to listen for any footsteps outside.
This was much more interesting than having class.
As Tan Ning continued to check Lin Qi’s homework, he said, “You’re delaying his learning progress.”
“I’ll make up for it tomorrow.”
Tan Ning still didn’t look up. Lin Song’an sat in Lin Qi’s seat while Tan Ning reviewed his English essay.
It was an imaginative composition, and Tan Ning had crossed out half of it with a red pen. He told Lin Qi, “Your essay is completely off-topic.”
Lin Qi puffed his cheeks.
“Isn’t it a picture-based essay? Does it have a standard answer?”
“What doesn’t have a standard answer?”
Lin Song’an’s smile froze; he heard the underlying meaning in Tan Ning’s words. “But I don’t want a perfect score; that’s not the answer sheet of my life.”
Tan Ning’s pen paused slightly.
“The exam question of my life is in your hands.”
Tan Ning felt this statement was so heavy that he couldn’t breathe. How should he grade Lin Song’an?
Lin Song’an took Tan Ning’s hand, but Tan Ning pulled away.
Perhaps the environment wasn’t suitable, so Tan Ning was unwilling. Lin Song’an waved at Lin Qi, who immediately ran over excitedly, “Brother, what do I need to do?!”
Lin Song’an rummaged through Lin Qi’s messy pile of books, pulled out an English book, and handed it to him. “Go outside and memorize it. If anyone comes, say that Teacher Tan punished you to memorize vocabulary outside.”
Lin Qi: “…”
Tan Ning slapped Lin Song’an’s hand. Lin Song’an smiled and reassured Lin Qi, “Don’t worry, it won’t take long. Tomorrow, I’ll buy you a game console.”
Lin Qi immediately ran out.
As soon as the door closed, Tan Ning was embraced. Knowing he was about to sulk, Lin Song’an coaxed and cajoled him onto his lap.
Thinking that Fang Jin was just downstairs, Tan Ning had no mood to be intimate with Lin Song’an. But despite struggling, his waist and legs were held by Lin Song’an, rendering him immobile. Lin Song’an buried his face in the exposed skin of Tan Ning’s neck, warm breaths slipping into his collar.
Both remained silent.
“Ning Ning, so this is what helplessness feels like. I’ve never experienced it before.”
Tan Ning suddenly lost his strength.
“Since childhood, many expectations have been placed on me. When people mention me, they say, ‘The Lin family’s level-nine alpha—only one top-level alpha among tens of millions, and born into such a family—truly a winner in life.’ Even though I discovered during my first rut period that regular slow-release drugs didn’t work on me and I had to use sedatives, I still felt invincible until I met you.”
“Being together was so smooth; why did it suddenly start going downhill?”
“Did you know already?”
Tan Ning was stunned.
“Is that why you broke up with me?”
Just now on the stairs, Lin Song’an noticed something off in Tan Ning’s expression. Tan Ning was someone who didn’t easily show his emotions, but when Fang Jin ignored him, the disappointment, fear, and timidity on Tan Ning’s face were evident.
So he had known all along.
So during these days, while he was suffering and struggling, Tan Ning was not any better off.
“Know what?” Tan Ning pretended not to understand.
Lin Song’an stroked his cheek, “Whether you know or not, my heart is with you anyway.”
Lin Song’an hugged Tan Ning tightly, softly murmuring his name repeatedly. Tan Ning felt sad—why did the more Lin Song’an loved him, the farther away he seemed?
At that moment, Lin Song’an’s phone beeped—a message notification sound.
Fang Jin called from downstairs, “Song’an, I asked Zhiyu to resend the friend request. Accept it now; don’t forget again.”
Tan Ning felt his mind go blank.
Lin Song’an didn’t move.
In the end, Tan Ning helped him take the phone out of his pocket, entering the unlock code. Lin Song’an pressed down on Tan Ning’s hand, frowning to stop him, “Ning Ning.”
Their eyes met, and Tan Ning saw the trembling in Lin Song’an’s pupils. Tan Ning said, “Add him first; at least it can buy some time.”
Tan Ning accepted Yan Zhiyu’s friend request for him.
Yan Zhiyu’s WeChat name was just “Zhiyu,” and his profile picture was a kitten—a blue-golden British Shorthair.
How coincidental—it was the kind of cat Lin Song’an most wanted to have.
“I’ll explain things to him. He might not like me anyway. It won’t take long. Ning Ning, please give me a bit more time.”
Tan Ning thought: The drug research is making no progress, and your rut periods are becoming more frequent. What use is there in giving you more time?
But Lin Song’an’s eyes held a hint of determination, as if he had a plan.
Tan Ning felt suspicious, “You—”
Just as he was about to speak, Lin Qi burst in, “Brother, brother, Auntie is coming upstairs!”
Tan Ning quickly got up from Lin Song’an’s embrace and sat back in his seat. Lin Qi hurriedly threw himself back to his desk.
When Fang Jin entered, Lin Qi was correcting his mistakes, and Lin Song’an sat on a sofa nearby.
Fang Jin walked over, glanced at Lin Qi’s test paper, and then reminded him, “Sit up straight; don’t slouch.”
Lin Qi immediately straightened up.
Fang Jin glanced at Tan Ning, noticing his neat handwriting but not paying much attention. She then turned to Lin Song’an and said, “Let’s go; we still need to visit the company.”
Tan Ning politely declined Mrs. Lin’s invitation to stay for dinner and walked alone to the subway station. Passing by a pastry shop that sold walnut pastries—round and cute, with exquisite packaging, much better than the smoky little shop in Xuan City—Tan Ning bought a box but lost interest after just one bite.
Back at the dormitory, He Qingrui was wiping away tears while watching a movie review on his phone. He sobbed, “Even a tough guy like me is crying. It’s about an old man with Alzheimer’s who keeps imagining his wife is still alive, repeating the things they used to do together every day, hosting grand balls just to propose to her. In the end, his son breaks his illusion, telling him that his wife has passed away. The old man dies that very night.”
Tan Ning nodded, showing he understood his emotion.
Seeing that Tan Ning didn’t respond, He Qingrui hummed and continued his macho crying.
After washing up, Tan Ning lay on his bed, holding the ceramic kitten, flipping it over in his hands.
He murmured to himself, “I’m very moved.”
Actually, having an illusion to hold onto is a very blissful thing. For a long time, Tan Ning would dream about life after marrying Lin Song’an. He always loved the way Lin Song’an hugged him from behind—the gesture and strength.
But he feared that talking about love all night with someone inherently lacking love would fill him with longing and hope, only to tell him in the end that it was all a dream.
The ceramic kitten fell, landing on Tan Ning’s heart.
Tan Ning thought: If only I were a cat, taken home and raised by Lin Song’an—I might be very happy.
