Chapter 27
Tan Ning refused to let Lin Song’an drive him back to school.
Just looking at Lin Song’an made his whole body ache. Lin Song’an had no choice but to help him call a taxi, which took him from the villa entrance straight to the school.
Pushing open the dormitory door, Tan Ning put down his backpack and grabbed his thermos to go to the water room.
Regarding his absence overnight, Zheng Yu and Xu Qingyang didn’t care, but He Qingrui was full of curiosity, following behind him with a sly smile.
Frowning, Tan Ning asked, “What are you doing?”
He Qingrui said nothing, just shook his head with a grin.
Tan Ning felt annoyed. He could see the friendliness in He Qingrui’s eyes, but there was more curiosity and probing. Having had no friends since childhood, Tan Ning instinctively resisted such direct invasions of his privacy.
He Qingrui snapped, “Yes, I went to see Lin Song’an. Are you that curious? Want me to tell you all the details?”
He Qingrui was startled, stammering, “I didn’t mean that.”
Tan Ning turned around to swipe his card for water.
Dejected, He returned to the dorm ahead of Tan Ning. When Tan Ning came in, He Qingrui glanced at him with a mix of gloom and resentment, then handed him a quarter piece of cake from the table. “Yesterday was my birthday. I ordered a small cake, thought we’d all share it, but you weren’t here, so I saved you a piece.”
Tan Ning was stunned.
“I was just curious earlier, but I meant no harm. Sorry. If you don’t want to eat it, you can throw it away.”
Tan Ning: “…”
Tan Ning found He Qingrui strange—just like Lin Song’an. Even though he did nothing and even showed an unfriendly side, why were they still being nice to him?
Tan Ning felt irritated.
Feeling uncomfortable, he sat down and spaced out for a while before trying a couple of bites of the cake.
Lin Song’an sent him a message:
[Ning Ning, how are you feeling? I asked Aunt Liu to make some chicken soup for you at noon today. Shall I send it to you?]
Tan Ning replied:
[No need.]
Tan Ning felt even more annoyed.
He shouldn’t have accompanied Lin Song’an through his rut period, just as he shouldn’t have eaten the cake He Qingrui offered—both unnecessary actions.
Taking off his jacket, Tan Ning lay on his bed, staring blankly at his black bed curtain. Had he changed in the past few months? No, he was still solitary—going to the library alone, attending classes alone, sitting in the front row answering questions, taking the subway alone to tutor elementary school students, going to Lin Song’an’s house twice a month… Clearly nothing had changed, so why did he feel something subtly different?
Was it because Lin Song’an celebrated his birthday? Because of Lin Song’an’s confession?
Suddenly, he recalled what Lin Song’an had said that day: “Ning Ning, give me some reassurance, and I’ll handle the rest.”
Maybe he could trust him.
But as soon as this thought emerged, Tan Ning quickly dismissed it. What was he wishfully thinking?
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that ugly ceramic cat staring at him. Tan Ning reached out and placed it next to the box containing the first birthday gift he hadn’t given away, grouping them together.
At noon, Zheng Yu and Xu Qingyang thought it was too hot and ordered takeout. Tan Ning didn’t have the habit of eating takeout; he still took his meal card to the cafeteria. He heard He Qingrui’s hesitant footsteps. As he was closing the door, he felt he should turn back and ask if He Qingrui wanted to go together, but he didn’t have that skill.
Yue Ying knew how to handle social situations, but she had left him before he grew up. His grandfather was a notorious mahjong gambler in the small town, not well-liked.
No one had ever taught Tan Ning how to invite a roommate to the cafeteria in such situations.
Maybe He Qingrui didn’t want to go, Tan Ning thought to himself.
But He Qingrui followed behind Tan Ning to the cafeteria. As they walked, he looked at Tan Ning’s thin back and couldn’t help but sigh; it seemed he was destined not to become Tan Ning’s friend.
At the cafeteria, He Qingrui ran to the spicy hot pot section, picking a bunch of hot pot ingredients for himself. Estimating the weight, he thought it might cost around twenty-seven or twenty-eight yuan. Just as he was about to swipe his card, a hand suddenly reached out from behind and paid for him.
“Hey, hey, that’s mine—”
Turning around, He Qingrui saw Tan Ning’s face. Tan Ning’s cold tone didn’t match his action. He said, “Thank you for the cake. Happy birthday.”
Not only He Qingrui but also the few students lining up behind him for the spicy hot pot were stunned.
They exchanged glances.
After speaking, Tan Ning left, leaving He Qingrui dumbfounded. The lady at the counter waved a numbered ticket and called out loudly, “Student, student, take your number.”
He Qingrui snapped back, saw Tan Ning carrying a simple tray, sitting alone in a corner, quietly eating.
It seemed he didn’t need friends.
Around seven in the evening, Tan Ning left the library. His waist was aching; the library benches were hard, making things worse. Getting up to fetch water didn’t help; he could only walk outside alone to get some fresh air.
Lin Song’an hadn’t sent him any messages all day. Tan Ning worried that his rut period hadn’t fully eased.
When he left, Lin Song’an was full of guilt, silently hugging him. Tan Ning seemed to hear him saying in his heart: “I’m sorry.”
Or, “Ning Ning, what should I do?”
What to do? Tan Ning didn’t know either.
He closely followed any news about treatments for the rut period, but most only involved ordinary alphas. For unique cases like Lin Song’an’s high-level alpha status, the medical community was still helpless.
The weather was cooling; the evening breeze carried a chill.
Tan Ning hugged his arms and walked forward.
“Tan Ning!” A familiar voice called out.
It was He Qingrui.
He ran up with a big smile, still wearing that cheerful expression. “Wait for me; let’s walk together.”
Tan Ning kept a straight face, frowning at him.
He pretended not to notice Tan Ning’s impatience. “Let’s walk together. I promise I won’t gossip about you and Lin Song’an.”
Tan Ning was suddenly amused.
Perhaps because he was indeed feeling troubled, Tan Ning continued walking and said, “If you want to ask, just ask.”
“Eh?” He took a few seconds to react, hurriedly catching up. “Can I ask?”
Tan Ning said nothing.
“I’m really, really curious. I promise this is the only time—also the last time I’ll ask you. I swear I won’t tell anyone; I’m super tight-lipped,” He lowered his voice. “Why are you with Lin Song’an?”
Tan Ning was stunned.
Such a distant question.
“Because he’s handsome.”
“Ah?!” He Qingrui almost squeaked.
Tan Ning shrugged indifferently and said honestly, “Just because he’s good-looking.”
That day at Lin Qi’s house, as he walked down from upstairs, standing on the steps, he saw Lin Song’an by the kitchen island. At that moment, Tan Ning was shaken, an indescribable emotion surging within him.
He knew from the first glance the gap between his and Lin Song’an’s statuses.
He knew some things couldn’t be crossed.
But he still easily fell for him.
Lin Song’an’s gaze was captivating; his shoulders were broad. The wool coat he wore that day looked high-quality. Tan Ning thought that if he threw himself into Lin Song’an’s arms, and Lin Song’an hugged him tightly, his face pressed against Lin Song’an’s shoulder—it would feel very comfortable.
Definitely very comfortable.
He had never felt this way before. The surge of desire almost swept away all his rationality. Emotions suppressed for over a decade in the small town of Xuan City erupted the day Lin Song’an appeared.
He wanted to be held tightly by someone.
He longed for someone truly wonderful to pay attention to him, to make him believe he wasn’t always so unlikable.
Perhaps Lin Song’an’s unattainability gave him the courage to take a leap of faith.
He thought he would set a trap.
If Lin Song’an didn’t come, he would continue his life as before—nothing would change.
If Lin Song’an came, then he wouldn’t be allowed to leave again.
*
The process of seducing Lin Song’an added a lot of fun to Tan Ning’s bland life.
He even started to daydream frequently in the library; He paid attention to his phone’s vibrations, spent time thinking about the optimal number of minutes to wait before replying to Lin Song’an’s messages, took note of Lin Song’an’s friends, and used various means to learn about their backgrounds.
He was doing things he used to despise and not understand.
Life suddenly became fulfilling.
During that time, walking to the library, he felt the wind was gentle, the sunshine lovely.
It was approaching Lin Song’an’s birthday. As soon as class ended, Tan Ning ran to the mall’s boutiques to pick a gift for Lin Song’an.
He thought Lin Song’an’s wrist was missing a men’s bracelet. Lin Song’an had long fingers, distinct knuckles—very beautiful, suitable for wearing bracelets or watches.
Tan Ning went from one boutique to another, finally seeing a simple yet fitting bracelet for Lin Song’an. He asked the price, and the clerk said 2,200 yuan.
Tan Ning was stunned. This far exceeded his budget, even beyond his comprehension. He didn’t understand how such a thin chain could cost over two thousand.
But he bought it anyway.
He asked the clerk to wrap it nicely with a bow; He then went to a clothing store to buy himself a new outfit—not the loose hoodies and jeans he usually wore. He carefully chose a black and white plaid wool coat, a white sweater, fleece-lined straight pants, and Martin boots.
Previously, he bought clothes from small markets in Xuan City, getting three or four pieces at once and rotating them with old clothes, buying clothes at most twice a year. He couldn’t afford relatively expensive down jackets, but Yue Ying would buy him one every New Year.
He had never dressed himself up like this before.
The clerk smiled and said, “This outfit looks great on you. Going to meet your boyfriend or girlfriend?”
Tan Ning was startled, his ears reddening, eyes lowering unnaturally. He softly replied, “Boyfriend.”
With a heart full of excitement and nervousness, he went to Tianhe Villa. On the subway, he repeatedly checked his reflection in the glass, adjusting his sweater collar, his heart racing.
He wanted to give Lin Song’an a surprise.
By then, they had confirmed their relationship. Lin Song’an treated him well, showing that he liked him.
Tan Ning thought he had won his gamble.
But when he reached the entrance of Tianhe Villa, the door was ajar, and Lei Xin’s voice came through the gap.
“Bro, is that hoodie on the balcony yours? It doesn’t look like your clothes.”
Tan Ning realized it was probably the one he left there last time. He pressed his lips together, his cheeks heating up.
Lin Song’an replied, “It’s Lin Qi’s.”
Tan Ning froze.
“Really? Are you dating someone? Which omega is it? What’s the compatibility rate?”
Tan Ning stared blankly at the villa’s password lock, hearing Lin Song’an’s emotionless voice.
“No, I’m not dating anyone.”
At that moment, Tan Ning’s mind went blank. By the time he came to his senses, he had already walked far from the villa.
He thought: He would never like Lin Song’an again.
*
When Lin Song’an entered his rut period, he was affected for several days before and after. After Tan Ning left, he didn’t fully recover until the next day.
Tan Ning didn’t reply to his messages, so Lin Song’an went to the library to find him. Based on memory, he went to the public study room on the fourth floor. Standing at the door, Lin Song’an scanned the room and quickly spotted Tan Ning in the corner.
Thin, with long hair, sitting upright.
Easy to recognize.
He was about to walk over when he noticed a boy sitting next to Tan Ning, leaning over to talk to him.
Not sure what joke was told, the boy laughed so hard his shoulders shook. Though Tan Ning didn’t respond, Lin Song’an could sense the harmony between them.
Lin Song’an raised an eyebrow.
Because Tan Ning wouldn’t allow it, and because he himself feared that rumors might affect Tan Ning, Lin Song’an never interacted with him openly on campus. Except for the Law and Business meetings and classes, they were never seen together.
Due to the repeated torment of his rut periods, Lin Song’an’s dependence on Tan Ning had noticeably increased.
Seeing this scene now, he was displeased.
He walked over and chose a seat diagonally opposite Tan Ning.
He Qingrui was the first to notice the eyes from all directions. Holding his cup, he looked around in confusion and then met Lin Song’an’s playful gaze. The aura of a top-tier alpha was unmistakable.
He was so startled that he nearly spat out his water.
He quickly pressed his lips together, holding it back, but ended up choking. His face turned red as he coughed violently.
Tan Ning was disturbed by the noise. When he looked up, he saw Lin Song’an.
He was momentarily stunned and immediately glanced around.
Fortunately, their table was in a corner away from the windows, with few people around. Lin Song’an’s presence wasn’t too conspicuous, but students at the next table were already sneaking glances.
Tan Ning signaled with his eyes for Lin Song’an to leave quickly.
Lin Song’an curved his lips into a smile and leisurely took out his laptop from his bag.
Before long, Tan Ning received a message:
[So Ning Ning has made new friends.]
Tan Ning rolled his eyes.
Here we go again—Lin Song’an always had bouts of childishness.
[Chatting so happily with classmates that you don’t even have time to reply to my messages?]
Tan Ning scrolled up and saw that Lin Song’an had messaged him two hours ago:
[Ning Ning, do you have classes this morning? If you’re free, I’ll take you out for lunch.]
Tan Ning replied to that message:
[No.]
[Why not?]
Out of the corner of his eye, Tan Ning saw that He Qingrui, looking guilty, was preparing to slip away with his bag. Tan Ning grabbed his arm and pressed him back into his seat.
Tan Ning hated this tone from Lin Song’an the most. Clearly, Lin Song’an had so many people around him—Ye Ling, an unknown omega, and even the girls at the next table who were sneaking glances at him. Yet Lin Song’an only fixated on him. Tan Ning disliked this lack of trust.
His parents’ marriage had been filled with suspicion and doubt.
He didn’t like this feeling.
Lin Song’an’s expression darkened immediately.
In fact, after this rut period, both of them harbored some resentment. Tan Ning felt he was of no use, while Lin Song’an was filled with guilt.
Meeting again was already awkward, but with Tan Ning acting cold as ice, Lin Song’an’s heart sank.
The other night in bed, Tan Ning had unusually insisted that Lin Song’an wear a bite stopper. When he left yesterday morning, his mood was low. Lin Song’an could sense that Tan Ning was increasingly resistant to his rut periods.
But there was nothing he could do.
Despite his status, wealth, and everything he possessed, they seemed insignificant in the face of his physiological issues.
The pharmaceutical research institute his father had invested in had spent two years developing a drug, only to fail in animal testing. The efficacy and toxicity screenings didn’t pass. Although research was still ongoing, Lin Song’an saw no hope.
He could wait, endure as long as necessary, but his little cat was running out of patience.
Lin Song’an looked at his laptop screen.
Tan Ning belatedly withdrew his hand. He looked at his own hand, not understanding why he had stopped He Qingrui from leaving.
Lin Song’an glanced briefly at some documents and, after taking a phone call, left. Tan Ning watched as the seat diagonally opposite became empty.
He Qingrui cautiously asked, “Did Lin Song’an misunderstand something?”
Tan Ning’s mind was a mess. He couldn’t focus on his IELTS book anymore. After forcing himself for over ten minutes, he packed up to leave. He Qingrui hurriedly followed behind, calling out to him.
“Tan Ning! Tan—Tan Ning!” Tan Ning didn’t slow down.
“What’s wrong? Did you have a fight with Lin Song’an?”
“No.”
“Then why did he have that expression?”
“What expression?”
Tan Ning walked faster and faster; He could barely keep up, panting, “He was jealous! Clearly jealous.”
Tan Ning suddenly stopped.
They stood at the corner outside the library—the same spot where Lin Song’an and Tan Ning had met secretly that evening.
He fanned himself with his hand. “The way he looked at me was terrifying. You’ve gotten me into trouble, Tan Ning. He must see me as a rival in love.”
Tan Ning lowered his head, saying nothing.
He, still shaken, muttered, “Why did you grab my arm? If a big shot like him dislikes me and, like in those TV dramas, uses some tricks to ruin me, what would I do?”
Tan Ning found him annoying. “You’re overthinking.”
“But… but… his expression was really bad. He was obviously jealous. What happened between you two?”
“Nothing.”
Seeing that Tan Ning was unwilling to talk, He didn’t press further. But suddenly, he remembered something and leaned closer to Tan Ning’s ear, covering his mouth with his hand as he whispered, “I heard something from Xu Qingyang, who heard it from Lei Xin. They say that in the future, Lin Song’an is definitely going to marry an omega. It’s a family tradition. He and his dad are top-tier alphas, and only by fully marking can they resolve their inherent rut period issues. Tan Ning, have you talked to him about this?”
Tan Ning’s eyelashes trembled; he said nothing.
He was shocked. “What? You didn’t know!”
“I knew.”
He Qingrui patted his chest. “Oh, that’s good then.”
“Not only do I know, but I also know about that omega. His mother has already found someone for him.” Tan Ning’s gaze became distant.
He Qingrui was almost driven to high blood pressure by Tan Ning’s dramatic pauses. “You’ve met? No way! Really? Is the person from Ningjiang? How old? Good-looking?”
Tan Ning shook his head. “I haven’t met. Don’t know.”
He Qingrui breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh.”
Tan Ning continued walking, but it wasn’t in the direction of the dormitory. As he walked, he muttered to himself, “What does it have to do with me? It has nothing to do with me.”
Tan Ning was acting very strangely.
“Why are you suddenly like this, Tan Ning?”
After a few steps, Tan Ning stopped again, turned to He Qingrui, and asked, “Why did he just leave without saying a word? What’s he jealous about? Why is he being so suspicious?”
He Qingrui had only ever held a girl’s hand back in high school and had no other romantic experience. Stumped by Tan Ning’s questions, he finally squeezed out, “But aren’t you being suspicious too? You haven’t even met that omega, right?”
Tan Ning was stunned.
He Qingrui tentatively asked, “Isn’t that so…?”
Tan Ning turned and walked in the opposite direction. He Qingrui followed, “Tan Ning, why are you being so awkward? I can tell at a glance that you both like each other!”
He Qingrui’s last five words were like a short arrow piercing straight into Tan Ning’s heart. He recalled that day at the villa entrance when he heard Lin Song’an say, “I’m not dating anyone.”
That day, he vowed never to like Lin Song’an again.
He didn’t like him, didn’t want him; it was impossible; He was just lonely, so they became friends with benefits; He had been brainwashing himself like this all along.
“I don’t like him,” Tan Ning denied softly.
He Qingrui didn’t notice Tan Ning’s abnormality and continued, feeling smug at having seen through Tan Ning’s feelings. He Qingrui laughed, “Don’t pretend! You do like him!”
But Tan Ning suddenly retorted loudly, “I don’t like him! I don’t! I just fancy his looks, his family’s money. Who says I like him?”
He Qingrui was so startled that he shrank his neck.
Tan Ning had never raised his voice or argued with anyone. He was indifferent to being ostracized or bullied. All his emotions were muted, like a wooden person. Xu Qingyang once said that when they first started school, it took him three days to confirm that Tan Ning wasn’t mute and a month to determine that he wasn’t autistic.
Tan Ning always seemed indifferent to everything, even disdainful.
But now, his breathing was rapid, his cheeks flushed with anger, and his shoulders trembled slightly.
So he wasn’t a wooden person after all.
He Qingrui took a step forward, just about to comfort him, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone standing behind Tan Ning.
Tall, wearing a familiar color.
When He Qingrui saw who it was, his mind went blank. Swallowing hard, he was at a loss and could only point behind Tan Ning, “Tan—Tan Ning, behind you…”
Recovering from his sudden outburst, Tan Ning regretted speaking recklessly to an outsider. He turned in the direction He Qingrui was pointing and saw Lin Song’an.
Lin Song’an’s expression was indifferent.
He had heard and was hurt.
He Qingrui quickly slipped away, leaving Tan Ning alone to deal with the situation. Tan Ning held his breath, like a cat in a defensive state, his whole body tense.
“Ning Ning, do you have nothing to say to me?”
Lin Song’an was still smiling at him, as if he hadn’t heard what Tan Ning just said.
“You heard.”
“I didn’t hear,” Lin Song’an smiled and shook his head. “Nothing.”
Tan Ning looked away.
He was right; he was being hypocritical. He wouldn’t allow Lin Song’an to be jealous, yet he was always suspicious himself. Tan Ning thought: We’re so incompatible; perhaps we should end this before it gets worse.
“Little Tan Cat, do you really have nothing to say to me?”
“You heard me. That’s what I wanted to say.”
Tan Ning moved to walk past Lin Song’an. As he did, Lin Song’an said softly, “Ning Ning, even if it’s a lie, if I hear it enough, I’ll believe it’s true.”
Tan Ning clenched his fists inside his sleeves, his nails digging painfully into his palms. He paused, then quickly walked away.
Author’s Note:
Don’t worry; tomorrow Ning Ning will comfort Song’an. See you at 11 a.m. tomorrow!
Translator’s Note:
Please author quickly past this turmoil… I can’t handle anymore angst huhu
PLEASE COMMUNICATE PROPERLY ?
Please be happy ??
Wah i can’t handle angst anymore huhu