Chapter 46 — Responsible?
Standing beside Luo Xun, Yan Fei noticed the happiness in his eyes as he looked at the quail coop. Was this really enough for him—to feel content with just these small things? Even without the calm life before the apocalypse or his powers, he was still satisfied with this simple, hands-on existence?
Though he found Luo Xun’s goals humble, Yan Fei couldn’t stop the faint curve of a smile tugging at his lips.
He had to admit—it didn’t take a mansion, a beautiful lover, endless wealth, or luxury brands to be happy. Just a warm, self-sufficient home where you could shape everything to your liking, and someone to share it with—someone easygoing, gentle, and sweet. When those two things came together, that was happiness.
Yan Fei wrapped an arm around Luo Xun’s shoulder. “All done? Let’s head upstairs. We’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”
Luo Xun stiffened but nodded, following him up the stairs.
The arm around his shoulders made him uneasy again. He decided—tonight, he had to tell him. This constant touching was driving him crazy! If he kept having those kinds of dreams again… he’d never wake up on time!
“Um…” Reaching his side of the bed, Luo Xun didn’t sit down right away. He just stared hard at his nightstand.
“What is it?” Yan Fei glanced over as he changed into his sleepwear, perfectly at ease.
“I… there’s something I’ve never told you…” Luo Xun’s throat went dry. Truth be told, it was the first time he’d ever said it out loud. In his previous life, no one cared—three years into the apocalypse, hardly any young women dared to go out alone. Anyone who wanted to “solve personal needs,” even for money, usually had to find someone of the same sex. No one thought much of it anymore. Some weren’t even gay but had no choice. Humanity, he’d thought back then, would die out like this—too few women, no next generation.
But now… now things were different. And what if this guy misunderstood him—thought he’d taken him in with ulterior motives?
His eyes flicked to every piece of metal in the room. What if he confessed and didn’t live to see sunrise tomorrow?
“What is it? Just lie down and say it.” Yan Fei had already pulled back his blanket and was half reclining naturally against the headboard.
That relaxed posture made Luo Xun’s heart thud painfully. Why did something so casual look so… seductive?! Maybe… maybe he shouldn’t say it after all? They’d soon have separate rooms once the renovation was done anyway… Wait—hadn’t he planned only one spare bedroom? The other was going to be a storage room! If the landlord came back and kicked him out, he’d be stuck sleeping in the living room—or worse, outside!
No, no, that wouldn’t do. If Yan Fei thought he’d been pretending all this time just to take advantage of him, he might not even let him in the house!
“What’s wrong with you?”
The sudden voice snapped Luo Xun out of his spiraling thoughts. Yan Fei’s face was right there—too close—and Luo Xun’s eyes involuntarily locked onto the tiny tear mole beneath his left eye. Without thinking, he blurted out, “I… I actually like men. But don’t worry! I swear I won’t take advantage of you or anything. Just… maybe, um, could you not… you know, touch me all the time?”
His voice got softer and softer until he couldn’t raise his head. Honestly, not saying anything might’ve been better. Now that he’d said it out loud…
His mind immediately filled with dread. He’d just wanted to avoid getting too used to their closeness—to prevent himself from hoping for something he shouldn’t. But what if this made things awkward? What if it ruined their easy partnership? Maybe it really would’ve been better to stay silent…
Still, if one day he found someone he wanted to live with for real, Yan Fei would find out eventually. What would he think then about the time they’d spent together?
Yan Fei looked at him in mild surprise—he hadn’t expected him to admit it outright.
He’d suspected from hints, but hearing it confirmed was different. And, honestly, this was probably his own fault for teasing too much lately.
Casually brushing past that thought, Yan Fei asked with a straight face, “Touching you?”
Luo Xun froze, startled that out of everything, that was the part he’d focused on. “…Yeah, touching! I’m gay, okay? No touching between men! If you keep doing that, what if I misunderstand and think you’re interested in me?!”
The words left his mouth before he realized how they sounded. Damn it—that basically admitted he had been thinking too much!
Yan Fei’s lips curved into a slow, knowing smile. Before Luo Xun could react—still caught in self-recrimination—Yan Fei grabbed him and pulled him down onto the bed.
The world flipped, and the next thing Luo Xun knew, Yan Fei was above him, closing the distance between them—closer and closer—until warmth pressed against his lips. A soft tongue slid past, and he was pulled into a firm embrace.
His mind went blank, exploding in white noise. The comforting heat of the man’s hands against his back and shoulders made him feel safe in a way that was almost unreal. Maybe… maybe saying it out loud wasn’t such a bad thing after all…
But when he finally snapped back to his senses, Luo Xun was mortified to discover Yan Fei’s hand had somehow slipped under his shirt.
This guy didn’t just kiss him—he’d even started groping him?!
Although… the atmosphere just now was indeed quite good, what exactly was their relationship? Even if they were lovers, who goes straight to bed after their first kiss? What were they—some kind of humanoid machines that only think with their lower bodies?!
Before things were even made clear, he wanted to take advantage of him?!
Luo Xun realized after struggling for a long time that he couldn’t pull Yan Fei’s hand away. Only then did he notice that his own strength wasn’t enough to match the other man’s. He hurriedly pressed down on the hand wandering over his chest from outside his shirt and glared fiercely at him.
Yan Fei raised an eyebrow and looked at him with a teasing smile. “Do you like me touching you here?” he asked, and then deliberately pinched him.
Luo Xun’s face instantly turned crimson. Only then did he realize the spot he’d stopped him at was… questionable. He wasn’t a woman—what’s the point of getting his chest squeezed?!
“Y-You… say what you need to first before you start fooling around!”
“Oh,” Yan Fei nodded seriously—so once they clarified things, he could eat meat.
Luo Xun didn’t catch the implication and continued glaring at him, unaware that his lips were swollen and red, his eyes moist and hazy from the oxygen-deprived kiss just now. To Yan Fei, who had already long harbored impure thoughts, the sight was incredibly arousing—he was more than ready to “draw his sword and charge into battle.”
Luo Xun, who always thought of himself as the “beautiful bottom” type based on appearances, coughed lightly and looked away awkwardly. “Um… I, you…” He opened his mouth, but suddenly realized he had intended to draw a line between them, to tell him they should keep things normal and not get too close. But… wasn’t he the one who kissed first just now? If he now said something like “I’ll take responsibility,” wouldn’t that sound completely wrong?
Yan Fei’s eyes curved in amusement as he leaned in close. His hand slipped inside Luo Xun’s collar, grasped his chin, and turned his face toward him. Lowering his head, he kissed him softly. “Be with me.”
Luo Xun froze for a long moment, his face burning, but doubt crept into his heart. “You… aren’t gay, are you?” Somehow, he didn’t think so. Luo Xun couldn’t explain why, but from the moment they met, he’d felt Yan Fei was different—someone who liked women.
It was intuition—something many gay men in the old world could sense instinctively, a kind of sixth sense for recognizing one’s own kind.
“No,” Yan Fei replied matter-of-factly. Even now, if he imagined holding hands or kissing any of the guys from Room 1601, he felt an urge to kill someone—or himself.
“Then…” Then why was this straight man kissing him?! With his looks and his abilities, he could have any woman he wanted—why him?!
Suddenly, Yan Fei shifted his hips slightly, and something very spirited brushed against Luo Xun’s thigh. Luo Xun’s face went from red to purple. “But I react to you. You have to take responsibility.”
“…” Luo Xun was rendered speechless. He silently turned his head away, deciding not to dignify that with a reply.
Just moments ago, he had been thinking of saying something like “If you don’t mind, I’ll take responsibility,” but now that those words came from Yan Fei’s mouth, why did it sound like something a shameless scoundrel would say to a poor, wronged woman? Not that he was a woman! And really—who was supposed to be responsible for whom here?!
Yan Fei’s hand started wandering again, and Luo Xun hurriedly grabbed it. “N-No! This isn’t right… Don’t you think going to bed before we’re even dating is just being a pervert?!”
Yan Fei raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I thought we were already dating.”
Luo Xun froze, his expression darkening. “When we went out yesterday, you held my arm on purpose, didn’t you?”
Yan Fei nodded.
“And lately, every morning when we wake up hugging each other—that was on purpose too?!”
Yan Fei arched an eyebrow, smiling silently.
“And before that, when you’d put your arm around my shoulder, pat my back, or lean against me while talking—all that was intentional too?!”
Yan Fei’s smile deepened, his eyes gleaming.
“…You pervert!” If they weren’t both men, everything Yan Fei had done to him would clearly count as sexual harassment! He just hadn’t realized it because he’d assumed Yan Fei was straight and treated him like any other guy. But—“You didn’t say anything and just started touching me—how is that dating?!” That was blatant harassment!
Yan Fei raised an eyebrow, smiling slyly. “Do you know what the highest level of being a pervert is?”
Luo Xun was silent. He shook his head.
“To act like a gentleman while being one.”
Luo Xun elbowed him hard in the stomach, then rolled away to his own bed, wrapping himself tightly in the blanket until he looked like a silkworm cocoon. Why did it feel like after clearing things up, their relationship had somehow changed completely?
Yan Fei didn’t stop him. He turned off his bedside lamp, then lay down next to the cocoon, wrapping his arms around it and pressing his face into the back of Luo Xun’s neck, breathing in the faint scent of his shampoo.
For a long time, neither of them spoke, but both knew the other wasn’t asleep.
Then Luo Xun spoke softly in the dark. “What are you really thinking?” Since Yan Fei had been blatantly taking advantage of him before, it was clear he had feelings—but was he just curious, experimenting with a man for the first time, or was there something real behind it?
Yan Fei chuckled softly, his breath tickling Luo Xun’s nape. “Let’s be together.”
Luo Xun was silent for a while. “I’ve always liked men. I never planned on getting married or having kids—I don’t want to ruin someone else’s life. But you’re different.”
Yan Fei was different. With his looks, his strength, his polished manners, and the confidence that showed he came from a well-off background—probably even studied abroad—he was the kind of man women would line up for, even fight over.
Yan Fei smiled again. “In this kind of world, what’s the point of marriage?” He tightened his arms around Luo Xun’s blanket. “I just want to be with you. Live quietly. Grow vegetables. Raise a dog. Maybe keep some quails.”
Something stirred in Luo Xun’s heart. He turned around slightly. In the dark, he couldn’t see Yan Fei’s face, but he could feel the man’s bright eyes watching him intently. “Why?”
“…It’s just a feeling. Living with you all this time—it feels like a real home,” Yan Fei said quietly after a pause. “Being with you feels… safe.”
Licking his lips nervously, Luo Xun said, “I… uh, if I’m going to be with someone, it’s for life. Even if we argue or disagree, I won’t just break up over emotions. I’m not like those people who date for fun. You should really think this through.” He couldn’t deny feeling lucky—someone like Yan Fei showing genuine affection for him felt like a blessing—but it also made him nervous.
Yan Fei chuckled softly and leaned in, brushing a kiss over Luo Xun’s lips, their noses touching. “I know. I’m not looking for a one-night stand. I told you—being with you feels like home. I want to protect that home, until we grow old and die together.”
That thought had been growing in Yan Fei’s mind for a long time. Some people are meant to be lovers, but others—those who may not be flashy or sexy—can make you feel truly at peace. Those are the ones you build a life with.
From youthful confusion to the chaos of the apocalypse, Yan Fei had finally realized what he wanted all along—a home.
His words in the night were so tender that Luo Xun forgot to worry about the trouble that might come from falling for such a dangerously handsome man. When Yan Fei tugged at the blanket, he let him in.
They held each other tightly, not doing anything more, just resting in warmth and quiet intimacy. Luo Xun didn’t know when he fell asleep, but when he woke up, dawn was already breaking.
Winter mornings came late; it was already seven or eight.
He looked up and met Yan Fei’s gaze, then quickly turned away, embarrassed. Yan Fei, on the other hand, calmly leaned down to give him a soft good-morning kiss. “Awake? Want to lie down a bit longer?”
Luo Xun shook his head quickly. “We should get up. The others might come upstairs soon.” Today, the military was bringing more survivors up to settle in, and they needed to move the iron plates out of the way.
Thank you for reading 🙂 I hope you all liked my translations. If you enjoyed my work, please consider buying me a Ko-Fi 😉
