Chapter 83: When Do You Want to Get Married
Zuo Qianxing observed Xie Sicheng’s demeanor and realized that his previous suspicions were correct—Chi Wang was indeed Xiao Fu’s younger brother.
This meant that Xie Sicheng was now reluctantly acknowledging Xiao Fu as his brother-in-law.
Well, this was certainly a fresh development.
Zuo Qianxing hadn’t anticipated such a turn of events. How extraordinary it was that two people who had been rivals since childhood were now becoming family!
If word got out, wouldn’t it shock a lot of people?
…But perhaps it was a good thing. At least Xiao Fu might stop targeting Xie Sicheng so aggressively.
Taking advantage of Xie Sicheng’s momentary distraction, Zuo Qianxing stole a few more glances at Chi Wang’s belly. Wearing a onesie made it all the more noticeable; his waist and abdomen were round and full, leaving no doubt.
The pregnancy seemed quite advanced. Did Xie Sicheng’s parents know about it?
They probably didn’t; they had come to ask him about it last time.
Zuo Qianxing considered suggesting to Xie that he should inform his parents. After all, with a child on the way, shouldn’t they get married? Surprisingly, Xiao Fu wasn’t pushing for it either. Shouldn’t they have married before the pregnancy became too obvious?
What Zuo didn’t know was that Xiao Fu wasn’t urging marriage because as long as Chi Wang and Xie weren’t married, there was still a chance to “keep the child and leave the father.” He was always hoping that Chi Wang would see Xie’s true colors, break up with him, and return home. Then the baby would be part of his family, and as an uncle, he would treat the child as his own. He himself didn’t plan to have children. People said being gay was partly genetic and partly environmental; he feared having a child who would also be gay, which would be a waste.
He thought this was a great plan. With this pleasant notion, he could temporarily accept Xie’s calling him “Brother.”
In fact, he wished they would delay getting married indefinitely.
As for Xie Sicheng, his thoughts had always been straightforward.
He felt that his relationship with Chi Wang was somewhat inverted—they had a child first but lacked a substantial relationship. Until there was progress, it was a matter between the two of them.
Chi Wang resisted marriage, so Xie would occasionally bring it up in a joking manner to test his reaction.
He also believed that involving his parents might place unnecessary emotional burdens on Chi Wang.
However, lately, he was considering informing his parents.
Firstly, because Chi Wang’s belly was getting bigger. Without parents or elders around, he might feel lost. Although the housekeeper provided companionship and stress relief, the effect was limited. Even though Chi Wang tried his best to hide it, he couldn’t help but reveal some fear and confusion about childbirth. If his parents knew, they might not be able to alleviate his fears, but more people supporting Chi Wang would undoubtedly be beneficial.
Secondly, he couldn’t keep hiding it any longer. Continuing to do so was irresponsible to everyone involved.
If Chi Wang had been willing, Xie would have married him directly so the baby could be born after their wedding; feelings could be nurtured after marriage.
Now, there were more things to consider.
As Chi Wang’s belly grew, he didn’t want to cause him any emotional fluctuations.
Xie couldn’t guarantee that Chi Wang’s cheerful demeanor matched his inner feelings.
*
That evening, after Chi Wang finished his bath, he sat on his own bed for a long time before finally knocking on Xie’s door.
When Xie opened it, Chi Wang was shocked to see that he was wearing only a bathrobe, loosely tied, revealing a large expanse of chest and a firm waist and abdomen. His skin was very fair, a porcelain-like cool white that glowed enticingly under the light.
Chi Wang’s eyes widened.
All along, Xie had been very dignified and proper in style. He usually wore high-neck sweaters or buttoned his collared shirts all the way up. Even in summer, he rarely exposed his arms, always dressed impeccably in high-quality shirts, exuding an elegant and reserved aura.
Even his sleepwear was always the traditional button-up style, very conservative, not exposing his arms or calves.
And now he was dressed like this?
Chi Wang couldn’t help but look down and caught a glimpse of something faintly visible.
Chi Wang: “…”
Oh my god!
What are you doing!?
Noticing his gaze, Xie calmly pulled his bathrobe tighter. “Sorry, I just finished bathing and threw on a robe.”
Chi Wang: “…Oh.”
Don’t pull it closed; I didn’t get a good look. (x)
Chi Wang suddenly realized that although they’d known each other for so long—and his own “Little Chi”1 had gone back to its hometown several times—he had never actually seen Xie’s “Little Xie.”
Shouldn’t he at least get a look at what it looked like?
Chi Wang: “…”
He realized with some dismay that he actually regretted not seeing it. His eyes were about to pop out like two fried eggs.
In the past, he would never have been interested in another man’s private parts—it would be as unlikely as a rooster laying eggs or a hen crowing.
Chi Wang remembered some incidents from middle school when he lived in the dormitory. Back then, the communal showers had no partitions, which was quite a shock for someone who valued privacy like him. Feeling awkward, he went to bathe and saw some upperclassmen from eighth or ninth grade showering—probably athletes, given their height and well-developed bodies.
At first glance, Chi Wang thought it was ugly. Why was there hair down there? Such a fluffy mess—it looked particularly unattractive.
At that time, Chi Wang was still growing, and his body was smooth without any body hair. The thought of himself developing like that made him despair. After his shower, he hid under his blanket and shed a few tears.
Though young, Chi Wang had a love for beauty, always keeping himself neat and clean. That experience became a psychological shadow for a long time. He avoided bathing with other boys and felt his eyes burned if he accidentally glimpsed someone in the restroom.
Fortunately, his body hair remained sparse; he didn’t even grow much leg hair. Others might think he lacked masculinity, but Chi Wang believed that masculinity wasn’t determined by leg hair. He could take on three people by himself and protect himself and those he cared about.
But back to the point—Chi Wang was alarmed to find he wanted to look at Xie. This was terrifying.
He suddenly realized he might not be as straight as he thought—perhaps only slightly straight but mostly not.
Xie asked softly, “Is there something you need?”
Chi Wang: “…”
Isn’t that a rhetorical question? I came over, and you’re asking if I need something?
He grinned. “Actually, it’s nothing. I just came to see you. Now that I’ve seen you, I’ll be going.”
With that, Chi Wang turned to leave, but Xie extended an arm and gently grabbed the collar of his shirt. In a soft voice, he said, “Don’t go.”
Chi Wang was effortlessly pulled into the room. With a “bang,” the door closed behind him.
Xie lowered his head to take in Chi Wang’s scent.
There was something about Chi Wang’s aroma that made people feel at ease; once he held him, he didn’t want to let go.
As he inhaled, Xie gently nuzzled Chi Wang’s forehead.
Chi Wang felt a slight tickle from Xie’s hair. Being held around the waist, he didn’t struggle but cooperatively reached out to embrace Xie’s broad back—though not too tightly, as there was a little one between them who might kick at any moment.
In this embrace, Chi Wang once again felt that although Xie was only about ten centimeters taller than him, the difference in their builds was enough for Xie to envelop him completely.
It was both aggressive and gave Chi Wang a strong sense of security.
They stood there hugging in silence for a long time, neither saying a word.
After an indeterminate amount of time, Chi Wang finally broke the silence. “By the way, can I see your… jiba2?”
Xie: “…”
He found Chi Wang to be a person full of contradictions—capable of being shy while also exhibiting bold frankness.
Xie asked softly, “Why do you want to see?”
Chi Wang replied confidently, “Because I realized I’ve never seen yours, so I want to. Otherwise, it’s not fair.”
Xie didn’t say anything. Resting his chin on Chi Wang’s shoulder, he said in an apparently calm voice, “See for yourself.”
So, in his embrace, Chi Wang lowered his head and reached out to lift the hem of Xie’s bathrobe.
He looked down.
Unintentionally, his cheeks flushed deeply. He reached out and gave it a poke.
Xie: “…”
He didn’t make a sound.
But “Little Xie” was solemnly raising the flag under the podium3, gazing at him earnestly like a devoted comrade of the people.
Chi Wang watched as “Little Xie” greeted the baby across his belly and suddenly felt choked up.
Wait a minute—they’re not even on the same level. Can that really fit inside?
However, Chi Wang found that he didn’t dislike it. In fact, he felt a bit parched, too shy to look yet unable to resist stealing more glances.
I’m doomed, Chi Wang thought.
Perhaps the silence had lasted too long. Xie finally asked softly, “Is that enough?”
“…”
Chi Wang snapped back to reality and felt he should offer some praise. Clearing his throat, he said, “Its sharpness is intimidating, cutting iron silently; ‘One Sword Frost Cold Fourteen Provinces’—a fine sword.”4
Xie: “…”
Chi Wang: “…”
He felt so embarrassed that his toes curled inside his slippers.
Xie changed the subject. “Are you coming back to sleep?”
Chi Wang quickly seized the opportunity to escape the awkwardness, nodding obediently. “Okay.”
His pillow was still in Xie’s bedroom, so he could go straight there to sleep.
Xie reached out to touch his belly. Chi Wang hesitated but didn’t stop him.
His face was still burning. A casual downward glance revealed “Little Xie” still looking at him, the gaze oddly affectionate.
Chi Wang began to break out in a cold sweat.
Yet Xie maintained a natural demeanor and calm expression, still appearing as that cold and noble idol at first glance.
Hurriedly, Chi Wang reached out to help Xie adjust his bathrobe, tying it securely.
Xie didn’t say anything.
After getting into bed, Xie reached out to turn off the light.
Chi Wang then said softly, “Sleeping like this all the time can’t be good for you.”
Xie replied, “It’s fine.”
Chi Wang hesitated for a moment and said, “Do you want me to help you?”
Xie said, “No need to force yourself.”
Chi Wang was silent for a bit before saying, “It’s not forcing.”
Xie paused and then asked softly, “Are you sure?”
Chi Wang’s face heated up again. He thought to himself that at times like this, he shouldn’t be asked such questions. He had summoned his courage, but if questioned, it might retreat.
Chi Wang had always been a brave person. Without courage, he wouldn’t have had the determination and perseverance to take control of his own life.
His timidity and concessions in front of Xie were due to the unfamiliar emotions and the uncertain future he couldn’t comprehend.
He was always cautious and found it hard to let go.
He kept thinking, “Let me observe a bit more,” treating emotions as something measurable.
But could such things really be quantified? It was difficult.
So Chi Wang did something that even surprised himself—he took the initiative.
This was a signal. He, who had always been passively accepting, was now willing to give.
Chi Wang mused that although Xie often took advantage of opportunities, he also had a gentle side. He understood that Xie was testing his boundaries, waiting for him to get used to it, waiting for him to accept.
Chi Wang felt that he couldn’t remain passive any longer. Xie had done everything he could, and since Chi Wang didn’t dislike him, why not give it a try… What harm could it do?
He mumbled softly, “Either you want it or you don’t.”
Xie, however, restrained himself and said, “Forget it. I don’t need it right now.”
Chi Wang: “…”
He thought Xie was being too hesitant, so he took action directly.
Xie: “…”
In the darkness, the corners of Xie’s mouth lifted slightly. In a deep voice, he said, “Slow down.”
Chi Wang’s voice was tense, carrying a huskiness he didn’t even notice himself. “I learned from you; can’t go slow.”
Xie chuckled softly but said nothing.
Neither of them turned on the light. Although they had shared a bed for a long time, they both felt that if they turned on the light, their courage might disappear.
Moreover, the darkness fostered an even more ambiguous atmosphere; the warmth and rhythm of their breaths were clearly audible.
The tension escalated. Xie’s large palm held Chi Wang’s neck, his thumb gently caressing Chi Wang’s soft, slightly chubby cheek. Although Chi Wang’s face looked small, it was quite fleshy. His thumb pressed down softly, easily sinking into the tender flesh, stirring a roaring heartbeat.
Xie turned to kiss Chi Wang’s face.
Instinctively, Chi Wang wanted to turn his head away, but he quickly realized and took the initiative to kiss Xie’s face instead. Due to the darkness, he missed and his soft lips bumped into Xie’s high nose bridge, which hurt a bit.
Xie held his chin and captured his lips again.
Their breaths grew hot. Departing from his usual evasive style, Chi Wang tentatively extended his tongue, responding to the kiss.
As they kissed, a trace of joyful laughter escaped from the corner of Xie’s mouth. Being so close, Chi Wang caught his amusement and became embarrassed, suspecting that Xie was mocking his kissing skills. But he had learned from Xie.
Wait, speaking of which, he learned from Xie—so who did Xie learn from?
Could it be that he was born knowing how to do this?
Recalling Xie’s former silent and reserved demeanor, Chi Wang felt it didn’t quite fit.
Seems like he was naturally gifted.
Chi Wang usually learned things quickly, but he appeared clumsy in this area. Clearly, his fingers were nimble when knitting or typing at lightning speed on the keyboard, but when it came to manual tasks like this, he was at a loss. It was rather strange when he thought about it.
Chi Wang thought that in this regard, he was a bit like a young master who needed to be served.
He had time to think because they were kissing slowly, like teasing. Xie’s tongue didn’t delve deep into his mouth, lingering gently on the outside, tender as water.
Chi Wang’s hands forgot to move, so Xie wrapped his hand around Chi Wang’s to continue.
Chi Wang persevered, and finally, the deed was done.
Xie didn’t pay it much mind; instead, he used Chi Wang’s moment of weakness to pull him into his arms and continue kissing him.
The kisses were gentle, as if he could never get enough.
Eventually, Chi Wang grew a bit annoyed by the endless kissing. He pushed Xie away, reached out to turn on the light, and got out of bed to wash his hands.
When he returned after washing, Xie had already taken care of everything and even had the leisure to change the bedsheet.
Now Chi Wang felt the awkwardness of having the lights on. Xie’s expression was fully visible—still handsome, but the upturned curves of his phoenix eyes were tinged with red, exuding a captivating charm like melting ice and snow, with red plum blossoms quietly blooming on snowy branches.
Chi Wang: “…”
He didn’t dare look at Xie’s face.
But then he thought, what’s there to be afraid of? He quickly lifted his eyes and stared intently at Xie.
Xie met his gaze without blinking, the corners of his mouth slightly raised. “What are you looking at?” he asked.
Chi Wang said, “Looking at you—what else?”
He thought to himself, Xie looks really good when he smiles; there’s a saying, ‘like being bathed in a spring breeze.’5
Much better than always wearing that icy expression.
But now Chi Wang understood that Xie wasn’t really as cold and indifferent as he appeared; he just carried a heavy burden of self-restraint.
Chi Wang recalled how, at the beginning, when Xie was affected by the herbal medicine and not fully conscious, he could relax and lean on him. But when others came, he immediately put up his guard.
Back then, Chi Wang found Xie rather endearing; he was so obviously putting on airs, showing that he cared a lot about his image.
For someone so concerned about appearances to allow himself to be less than dignified in front of him—it showed he was letting go.
Thinking of this, Chi Wang felt a bit embarrassed, with a sense of guilt as if he had forced a good person into something improper.
Although still somewhat naive, Chi Wang understood.
Xie dressing like that had an obvious ulterior motive.
He had put in a lot of effort, but his efforts hadn’t been in vain; Chi Wang hadn’t been able to resist.
Chi Wang felt a bit guilty, thinking he had let down his own principles—though there weren’t really any.
But he’s not one to overthink. Considering things had come to this, why not just go with it?
His voice was a bit hoarse, sounding muffled. “Let’s sleep!”
He lay down; this time, his movements weren’t as smooth. The sheets and blanket were left with many wrinkles. Chi Wang wanted to ignore them, but lying down felt uncomfortable, so he silently got up again, manually smoothing out the creases in the sheets and blanket. He slid back in, this time without creating any new wrinkles, which made him feel much better.
Xie turned off the light, lay down, and moved closer, reaching out to hold him.
Once some lines are crossed, there’s no going back.
It’s like giving employees a starting salary of 6,500 yuan, but when the economy worsens, the boss wants to cut salaries. Who would agree? They’d surely resign and find another job. It would have been better to offer a lower starting salary from the beginning; that would be more acceptable.
Chi Wang understood all this but didn’t say anything—his silence was already a form of acquiescence.
Sometimes, it wasn’t entirely Xie’s fault for pushing boundaries; Chi Wang’s tacit consent and indulgence were also contributing factors.
Xie reached out to touch his belly and whispered in his ear, “You don’t need to go to school when the semester starts.”
Chi Wang didn’t respond.
He had thought about this issue for a long time, tossing and turning. Taking at least a year off would make him feel anxious.
He had a bit of “top student syndrome”6; his past days had been full and productive. Now, being stuck at home because of pregnancy—even though he loved the baby—having his time come to a standstill was hard for him to accept.
Staying home all this winter break had already made him restless. He rarely got pimples, but recently a red one had appeared on the tip of his nose.
For someone active to become a homebody could be depressing.
He’s not one to overthink, but this problem was like the trolley dilemma7; he couldn’t find a suitable solution.
If he weren’t so accident-prone, it wouldn’t be such a dilemma. Given his propensity to trip and get injured anytime, attending classes was indeed risky.
Even though Luo Lianyun and Shu Tingyu offered to take care of him, what if an accident happened? Wouldn’t that be like planting a landmine among them?
“A gentleman does not stand under a dangerous wall.”8 At the time, Chi Wang just listened and felt touched but didn’t place his hopes on them; he wanted to rely on himself.
Scratching head.jpg
Just as he was fretting, Xie said, “I’ve set up a small classroom on the third floor for you. When the semester starts, you don’t need to go to school. Each class will have recorded sessions; attending classes at home will be the same.”
Chi Wang was surprised. “What about participation grades…”
Xie said, “I’ve already talked to the teachers. Attending classes on time counts towards participation.”
Chi Wang’s eyes widened. “Is that even possible?”
Xie said, “You’re a special case, so of course it’s possible. H University won’t let down any earnest student.”
He paused and then said softly, “For the next six months, I’ll work from home. I’ll keep you company.”
Chi Wang said somewhat embarrassedly, “You don’t have to. I can manage on my own.”
Xie whispered, “You’ll be giving birth next semester.”
He paused, and in the end, didn’t bring up telling his parents.
The atmosphere was too good; he was worried that mentioning it would burden Chi Wang and spoil his mood.
Xie chose to be indirect. “…When do you want to get married?”
Chi Wang: “…”
Not very indirect!
Xie had brought this up several times before, but Chi Wang hadn’t taken it seriously.
Now he couldn’t avoid it.
Chi Wang asked, “Do we have to get married?”
Xie: “…”
In the darkness, Xie couldn’t see Chi Wang’s face. His tone lowered, “You don’t want to get married?”
Chi Wang: “…”
It’s not about wanting or not wanting.
Chi Wang admitted honestly, “I’m scared.”
He was only just 18; marriage had always seemed like something far in the future. But now, with a baby on the way, everything was accelerated.
Xie was silent for a while before saying, “Then we won’t get married for now.”
Since Xie said that, Chi Wang relaxed a bit. After a while, he said, “…But we still should get married. After all, the baby can’t be born as an illegitimate child, and I remember that a marriage certificate is needed for the birth certificate.”
Xie: “Mm.”
It’s required, but actually, it’s possible without it.
Xie said, “Don’t be afraid. Getting married won’t be any different from now, except that you can’t date others.”
Chi Wang: “Hahahahaha.”
Listen to you.
Chi Wang wanted to say, what dating? Don’t you count?
But he felt shy and didn’t say it aloud.
But he couldn’t always be like this, so he shyly said, “I won’t date others—I’ll date you.”
- “Little Chi”: A playful way to refer to Chi Wang’s intimate parts, using his own name as a pun.
- “Jiba”: A colloquial and somewhat crude term for male genitalia in Chinese.
- “Raising the flag under the podium”: A metaphor implying arousal, likening the male organ becoming erect to a flag being raised.
- “One Sword Frost Cold Fourteen Provinces”: A line from a poem by Tang dynasty poet Jia Dao, used here metaphorically to praise the impressive “sword” (i.e., Xie’s genitalia).
- “Like being bathed in a spring breeze” (Rú mù ch?n f?ng): An idiom meaning that someone’s demeanor is so pleasant that it feels refreshing and comforting to others.
- “Top student syndrome” (Top cancer): A slang term used to describe someone who is obsessed with being the best or top in academics or work.
- “Trolley dilemma”: A moral dilemma involving a difficult choice where any decision has significant consequences.
- “A gentleman does not stand under a dangerous wall” (J?n z? bù lì w?i qiáng zh? xià): A saying meaning that a wise person avoids unnecessary risks.
