Chapter 16
Qu Tongqiu stirred beneath the blanket. Waking from a hangover, he was a little muddled, his eyes barely able to open, yet he knew he was still holding onto the person beside him, just like Qu Ke sleeping while hugging her beloved teddy bear.
If he were twenty years younger, it might be one thing. But a middle-aged man pressing his face to another middle-aged man’s chest was really awkward and indecorous. Yet Ren Ningyuan didn’t mind, calmly letting him hold on.
Though it served no real purpose, it made him feel much better, like taking a painkiller.
Ren Ningyuan could give him strength in his cowardice, comfort in his humility. The warmth of skin transmitted through the shirt made him vaguely feel a sour kind of warmth.
“Awake?”
Qu Tongqiu instantly snapped awake, answered hurriedly, and pulled his hand back.
Watching him scramble off himself, Ren Ningyuan smiled. “Does your head still hurt?”
“Much better.”
“Rest today. I’ll help you ask for leave.” Ren Ningyuan’s tone was gentle. “Do you want to get up and eat, or sleep a bit more?”
The tenderness came suddenly, but it wasn’t unfamiliar. Even now, he remembered clearly how unusually kind Ren Ningyuan had been to him years ago, after he had been assaulted by another man.
Ren Ningyuan was not someone who habitually sympathized with the weak. Yet whenever Qu Tongqiu couldn’t hold himself up, it was always from Ren Ningyuan that he received a steadying hand.
His wholehearted devotion to this man was worth it.
“I want to lie down a bit longer.”
“Feeling unwell?”
“No… I just… want to lie here a bit more…”
Once he left the bed, life would officially start again, the unavoidable reality waiting right there. Even though he was already so accustomed to life’s rough grinding, this time it felt almost unbearable.
Ren Ningyuan gave a quiet “Mm,” tucked the blanket around him, and lay there with him.
“Little Ke will be back this weekend. Can you handle it?”
“…I can.”
“You don’t have to force yourself.”
Qu Tongqiu didn’t respond, anxiously picking at the edge of the blanket.
“No matter how you choose to handle it, it won’t be excessive. Even if you don’t want Little Ke, no one has the right to criticize you. You’re not a saint. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself. Relax a bit. I don’t want you under so much mental strain.”
Qu Tongqiu was deeply grateful for this understanding. When the proof of love turned out to be evidence of a wife’s betrayal, what it crushed was far more than a man’s self-esteem.
He truly didn’t know how to face Qu Ke. The truth would inevitably hurt her, and a child was innocent after all.
But wasn’t he innocent too? He was just an utterly ordinary man. The blow had already aged him, drained his spirit, as if his backbone had been ripped out alive. Asking him to act as if nothing had happened, cheerful and carefree, was simply too hard.
“When you’re alone, it’s easy to overthink. Stay here with me for a few days first.”
Qu Tongqiu shifted again under the blanket and said in a muffled, tiny voice, “I’m fine…”
“There’s no need to be polite. If something happens to you, what I’d have to deal with would be much more than this. Cooperate with me properly. It’s good for both of us. Understand?”
The words weren’t especially polite, but the tone was gentle enough.
“You don’t need to worry about Little Ke either. If there’s a need, I can have someone take her out to have fun this weekend.”
The man was silent for a long while. Ren Ningyuan lifted the quilt a little and met his reddened eyes.
“Really… I’ve caused you trouble.” His voice trembled slightly with gratitude and apology.
Ren Ningyuan looked at him and pulled the quilt back into place. “It’s no trouble.”
Qu Tongqiu curled up under the quilt for a while, but there wasn’t even a moment of peace in his heart. In the end he had to get up. As soon as he raised his head he felt dizzy; the pain behind was severe, spreading until his whole body seemed to ache faintly.
“What’s wrong?” Qu Tongqiu held it in for a bit, then said with difficulty, “I… it hurts there.”
Ren Ningyuan turned him over, took a look, then pulled his trousers down and examined him carefully. He frowned. “Your injury has gotten worse.”
Qu Tongqiu felt embarrassed, but he was really uncomfortable. “C-could you help me put some medicine on?”
Leaving aside how frightening it felt to bare himself in front of Ren Ningyuan, just the touch of the cotton swab inside made his back draw tight with pain. He soon noticed Ren Ningyuan stop.
“Just applying medicine isn’t enough. This won’t work.”
“It’s okay… it’ll heal sooner or later…”
“This way…” Ren Ningyuan looked at him, paused, then smiled. “I have a way to make you forget about Little Ke for a while. Want to try?”
Full of trust, Qu Tongqiu nodded.
The most effective way to make a problem disappear temporarily is to create a new one. That very day, Ren Ningyuan took him to the hospital. After a finger examination, Qu Tongqiu was hauled straight onto the operating table. The doctor said there was suppuration. No anesthesia was used; they cut the wound open directly to drain the pus and blood. That area was packed with nerves, and the pain nearly made him grind his teeth to pieces.
After enduring the second most painful surgery of his life, gauze stuffed into the wound, Qu Tongqiu lay face-down on the bed all night, unable to move. He couldn’t even turn over; moving a finger hurt. There was nothing in his mind except pain, pain, and more pain.
Ren Ningyuan hadn’t been wrong. He really had no way to think about his wife’s affair anymore.
He slept in a daze like that. The next day he slowly began to shift a little, then came dressing changes, then pain so bad he couldn’t move again. In all this torment, life actually became simple. All he had to think about was that cut-open place. The biggest challenge each day was successfully changing the dressing once.
Even sweating from pain, he felt an unprecedented lightness. Compared with his previous days, this was easier.
“Feeling better today? I heard you slept fairly soundly last night.”
“Mm, much better. I think I’ll be healed soon.”
Ren Ningyuan smiled. “Still a long way from fully recovered. But you should be able to try going to the toilet today.”
Qu Tongqiu’s face turned pale at once. “Uh…” Even a hero would have his legs trembling at the thought of defecating after perianal surgery.
“It’s okay.” Ren Ningyuan patted his head; those fingers always had a hypnotic effect. “It’ll go smoothly.”
Qu Tongqiu obeyed, inching nervously into the bathroom. A few minutes later he inched back out, greatly relieved. Ren Ningyuan was already waiting by the bed with a tray, smiling. “Was it okay?”
“Mm…” It still hurt, but it really wasn’t that hard.
“Then you don’t have to stick to liquid food anymore. It won’t be so tough from now on.” In truth, Qu Tongqiu hadn’t felt it was tough at all. These days had been very good days.
He’d taken leave and stayed at home, lying in bed most of the time, thinking only of the simple word “pain,” or moving extremely slowly. It was a kind of leisure and slow pace he hadn’t had in a long time.
Ren Ningyuan brought food to his bed, ate with him, helped him to the bathroom, wiped his body for him, let him lean against him at night. When the pain was bad, he let him clutch his sleeve. It was a tenderness he’d never dared to dream of.
Now that he was about to be freed from this limited physical pain, he would return to the old, boundless mental torment. It felt like a huge stone tied to his heart. He even thought that if the wound had been bigger and deeper, it might have been better.
“Little Ke should be back tonight.”
“Mm. I’ll go back later to pack things up. This matter—don’t let her know. She’s still young. I think it’s better she doesn’t know…”
No matter how complicated his emotions were, the difficulties and ugliness of the adult world—he didn’t want Qu Ke, at this age, to see them.
Ren Ningyuan looked at him. “Can you act natural?”
Qu Tongqiu hesitated anxiously. Children are delicate and sharp-sensed creatures. Even if he was a good father, he wasn’t a good actor.
“I’ll arrange it. You don’t need to worry.” Ren Ningyuan always sounded steady and reliable. Before dialing the phone, he smiled at Qu Tongqiu. “Do you hate drinking fish soup?”
Qu Ke was delighted that she could go on a weekend holiday, especially with Dad and Uncle Ren going together. H Island’s warm climate, hot springs, and seafood filled her with anticipation. On the plane she hugged a travel magazine all the way, dreaming about it, so that aside from noticing her father looked a bit tired, she didn’t sense anything else.
When Qu Tongqiu closed his eyes to rest, he heard her whispering to Ren Ningyuan.
“Uncle Ren, my dad doesn’t look very energetic. Is he not feeling well?”
“Mm, he just had surgery and he gets airsick. It’s okay, Uncle’s here with you.”
After a quiet spell, there was some soft rustling, and then something was gently draped over him.
In his happiness, Qu Tongqiu felt a bit of sorrow. It seemed to belong to him, and yet not belong to him.
Entering the hotel suite, the family-room layout made Qu Ke very happy, running back and forth between the big and small bedrooms.
“Uncle Ren and Dad sleep in this room, I’ll sleep in that one. So nice—we’re like a family.” Ren Ningyuan smiled as he watched her play.
“If we really were a family, that’d be great,” Qu Ke said, counting on her fingers. “Dad, Mom, and me.”
Qu Tongqiu choked hard on his tea. Ren Ningyuan still wore a calm smile. “Why am I the mom?”
“Because I already have a dad.”
Ren Ningyuan glanced at the slightly embarrassed man beside him and laughed. “If we have to divide it like that, wouldn’t it be more fitting if I’m the dad and he’s the mom?”
Qu Ke answered honestly, “Ah, Uncle Ren, you really do look more like a man than my dad.”
Qu Tongqiu felt awkward at once. “Uh…”
“But Dad will always be the best dad.” The little girl hugged her father’s knee, mischief mixed with seriousness. “I can call someone else Mom, but I can’t call someone else Dad.”
Feeling her rub her face against his palm, just like when she was little, Qu Tongqiu’s heart went completely into turmoil. Thinking of Yang Miao, then of his daughter’s usual obedience, he didn’t know whether to feel relieved or sad. His heart trembled; he couldn’t speak, and he was afraid his strangeness would be noticed, not knowing what to do.
Ren Ningyuan suddenly smiled. “Little Ke, didn’t you always want to try a Finnish bath? The hotel’s hot spring area is still open. You can soak in all the ones you like.”
The girl’s eyes lit up immediately. After thinking for a moment, she hesitated. “But Dad can’t go soak. I’ll stay and chat with Dad.”
“It’s okay, I’ll keep him company,” Ren Ningyuan smiled. “Go soak until you’re comfortable, then come back to sleep. If you’re hungry, remember to drink a bowl of health porridge.”
After all, she was a child. With permission, she dug out her swimsuit and bounced out happily.
Qu Tongqiu let out a breath. Watching his daughter’s innocent, cheerful back, before he could start worrying, he heard Ren Ningyuan say, “How about a game of Go?”
Go was a good thing. Focusing intently and playing two games with Ren Ningyuan, Qu Tongqiu felt much calmer, the knotted discomfort from before gone.
There was also a hot spring pool on the guest room balcony. After packing away the board and bathing separately, they went out to soak and rest.
Qu Tongqiu couldn’t get into the water. He sat by the edge, soaking his legs and feet in the warm water to relax. Ren Ningyuan leaned against the pool edge, eyes closed, as if asleep.
All around was quiet. Faint insect sounds could be heard. The breeze blowing in through the bamboo blinds was a little cool, while the water was warmly comforting.
Qu Tongqiu looked at that calm face that made others unconsciously hold their breath, and before he knew it, he’d been spacing out for a while. When he came back to himself, he softly called, “Ren Ningyuan.”
The man opened his eyes. “Hm?”
“I was thinking about Little Ke…”
“Mm, what about her?”
“I’ve heard of a lot of cases like this. Once a child finds out they’re not biologically related, they’ll be determined to find their birth parents. You know, blood ties are a strange thing…”
Ren Ningyuan smiled. “Little Ke won’t be that thoughtless. Blood ties can’t compare to you raising her all these years.”
“But what if they’re much better than me? Following me, her life isn’t that great…”
Ren Ningyuan laughed. “Don’t worry. You’re good enough.” After a pause, he added, “Really.”
All at once, Qu Tongqiu felt filled with courage, like a spark had been lit in his heart—bright and warm. His whole body felt lighter.
“Ren Ningyuan.”
“Mm?”
Qu Tongqiu called him, not knowing what he wanted to say, only feeling he had to do something for this person. He moved a little closer, pressing against him.
“I’ll help you massage your shoulders.”
Ren Ningyuan indulged his closeness and smiled. “Sure.”
For leverage, Qu Tongqiu sat with his legs apart, letting Ren Ningyuan lean between them. The position felt a bit awkward, but he focused wholeheartedly on kneading and pounding Ren Ningyuan’s shoulders, relaxing those slightly tense muscles.
When they got out of the water, Ren Ningyuan put on a robe, looked down as Qu Tongqiu tied the belt for him, then said, “Isn’t it time to change your dressing?”
Qu Tongqiu let out an “ah.” Before full recovery, he needed to change the dressing every day. Before this, it was always done at the hospital. The doctor had said it could also be handled at home, but he hadn’t had the nerve to let Ren Ningyuan help.
“You brought everything, right?”
“I did…”
“Then get ready. After it’s done, we’ll sleep.”
Nervously, Qu Tongqiu took out all the bottles and jars, went to the bathroom, prepared himself, then climbed onto the bed, pulled his trousers down, and lay face-down.
He had recovered a lot. Surface contact didn’t hurt much anymore. But sensing Ren Ningyuan approach, feeling his hand on him as he wiped and disinfected, he grew extremely tense, his whole body taut.
Every day something had to be packed in there; logically, he should be used to things going in and out by now. But when Ren Ningyuan’s fingers tried slightly to open him up, he reflexively clenched tight.
“Don’t be nervous. Relax.” Ren Ningyuan’s low voice carried a kind of bewitching power, making Qu Tongqiu’s heart pound uncontrollably.
“It won’t hurt.”
Qu Tongqiu’s scalp went numb. He was tense all over, completely unable to relax.
“Just bear with it for a bit and it’ll be fine. If you’re like this, I can’t get in.”
Sensing Ren Ningyuan trying to enter, Qu Tongqiu forced himself to take deep breaths, trying to keep his muscles from tensing so hard.
“Relax a little, otherwise it’ll hurt.”
“…”
“You’re clamping down on me.”
Qu Tongqiu was both flustered and nervous. He gripped the quilt and panted softly, his body stretched tight like a drawn bow.
Ren Ningyuan seemed both amused and helpless. “Were you like this at the hospital too?”
“No…” At the hospital he’d been a very cooperative patient. But this wasn’t the same as the hospital. The breathing, the voice—everything was different from a doctor’s. Ren Ningyuan’s presence alone made him tense.
Ren Ningyuan continued gently trying to ease open the tightly clenched place behind him. The pressure of his fingers, that faintly itchy sensation, made Qu Tongqiu’s spine tingle.
Qu Tongqiu lay there holding his breath for quite a while, focusing on Ren Ningyuan’s movements. All he felt was numbness and itchiness, a strange kind of sensitivity. In his unease, he suddenly realized in horror that the front of him was slowly reacting.
At the hospital this was something doctors and nurses were long used to seeing, but here it felt utterly improper. Qu Tongqiu panicked, desperately hoping Ren Ningyuan wouldn’t notice—yet Ren Ningyuan’s hand stopped.
Neither of them spoke. In those few seconds of silence, the atmosphere was unbearably awkward.
Ren Ningyuan’s voice grew a little stiff. “It’s fine. This is normal. We’ll take it slowly.”
“Mm…”
“Relax. Let me in,” his tone almost hypnotic. “It’ll be over soon.”
Qu Tongqiu still couldn’t control himself, his body stiff as stone. At his wits’ end, ashamed of his own reaction, he could only mutter, “I—I won’t change it then…”
Ren Ningyuan said nothing.
Qu Tongqiu lay there obediently, trembling. In the quiet, only their breathing could be heard. Then suddenly a hand reached around to the front and wrapped around him.
In that instant, Qu Tongqiu’s mind went completely blank. He was so startled he couldn’t make a sound. Ren Ningyuan’s fingers helped him, stroking and pressing; just a couple of movements drained all the strength from his body.
Held in that broad, powerful palm, he trembled and let out broken moans with Ren Ningyuan’s movements. His head burned hot; he didn’t know whether to resist or not. He only struggled weakly on instinct, and under that skillful caress, he nearly lost his soul.
The caressing didn’t last very long, but at the moment of release it felt as if a small explosion went off inside him. Qu Tongqiu was completely overwhelmed, trembling as he let out indistinct sounds. The aftershocks surged through his abdomen wave after wave, and it took a long while before he could recover.
While he lay limp and powerless, Ren Ningyuan said nothing. From behind, he gently opened him up, stuffed the gauze back in, and slowly applied the medicine.
By the time Qu Tongqiu caught his breath, the dressing had already been changed. He turned his head and saw Ren Ningyuan expressionless as he packed things away. Thinking of everything Ren Ningyuan had done for him, Qu Tongqiu felt an overwhelming mix of gratitude, shame, and unease.
“Th-thank you.”
“It’s nothing.” Ren Ningyuan replied lightly, got out of bed, and went to the bathroom to wash his hands.
After changing the dressing it usually hurt and sleep was poor, but Qu Tongqiu lay face-down against Ren Ningyuan, feeling relaxed and satisfied.
Ren Ningyuan had helped him a lot before, but this kind of lowering himself, doing everything personally, was a first. The warmth of human feeling in it far exceeded his expectations. He felt that Ren Ningyuan truly took their relationship seriously.
Holding onto that thought, he felt comforted and happy, and slept deeply through the night, full of good dreams.
The next day, Qu Ke met several children staying on the same hotel floor. Kids of the same age quickly hit it off and soon went out to play together, leaving two grown men with nothing to do in the room.
Ren Ningyuan was relaxed, patiently continuing to play chess with him. Gradually, Qu Tongqiu began to feel a little embarrassed.
Aside from a patient like him who couldn’t walk well, no one would want to stay indoors in weather like this. Ren Ningyuan was clearly being very kind, keeping him company.
“Don’t you want to go out for a walk?”
Ren Ningyuan curled his fingers slightly under his chin, eyes still on the board. “Hm?”
“The weather outside is pretty nice.”
Ren Ningyuan looked up and smiled. “Mm, you want to go out too?”
Qu Tongqiu flushed. “I’m afraid I can’t walk very far. You should go enjoy yourself. You don’t have to stay here with me. I’m an adult, I can entertain myself—watch TV or something is fine.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door. Ren Ningyuan smiled. “That was quick,” and got up to answer it.
Qu Tongqiu heard him speaking with the attendant, then the sound of the door closing. A moment later, Ren Ningyuan came back, pushing a wheelchair in front of him.
“Let’s go. Leave the board. Change your clothes.”
Qu Tongqiu was both flattered and unbelieving. Ren Ningyuan smiled. “Or do you want me to carry you?”
Sitting in the borrowed wheelchair, Qu Tongqiu was anxious as Ren Ningyuan pushed him along, unsure what posture would feel natural. Whether in the elevator or on the road, people kept glancing at him. He knew it wasn’t because he himself was special, but because the one pushing him was Ren Ningyuan.
Ren Ningyuan really didn’t look like someone who served others—he had the air of someone born to be waited on—yet here he was pushing a wheelchair, expression unchanged. The curiosity in passersby’s eyes carried a hint of awe, making Qu Tongqiu even more uneasy.
“Ren—Ren Ningyuan…”
“Mm?”
“I—I’ll get down and walk by myself.”
“Hm? Then we’ll just be sightseeing with an empty wheelchair?”
“Then… I can push you instead…”
Ren Ningyuan laughed. “I’m perfectly fine right now. I don’t need it. When I’m old, then I’ll have to trouble you.”
Qu Tongqiu felt his breath above him. Imagining a future where, in old age, he could push Ren Ningyuan out for walks every day—it seemed like the best life he could imagine. He couldn’t help but yearn for it.
“Then you must remember to call me when the time comes.”
Ren Ningyuan smiled. “I will.”
H Island wasn’t just for sightseeing—it was also a shopping paradise. Along the way were many second- and third-tier brand stores, and quite a few top-tier ones too. Qu Tongqiu didn’t have anything he wanted to buy for himself, but when he saw a teenage-style shoulder bag on a mannequin in a display window, he couldn’t help but look a few more times.
“That would suit Little Ke, right? Seems like girls are really into this now.”
He’d only noticed it because female colleagues flipped through magazines and discussed it; the brand’s distinctive patterns were said to be especially popular among girls. He thought it looked quite nice, though expensive.
Compared with the kids she’d been with today, Qu Ke dressed especially simply and frugally. She never begged him to buy things, and even when asked to choose, she usually said she didn’t want anything. But what girl didn’t love pretty things? Fitting in mattered. He didn’t want her to feel shabby or left out.
Ren Ningyuan helped him choose one that looked elegant and was within his means. Qu Tongqiu happily paid. Just like that, a month’s salary was gone, but as a commemorative gift for his daughter he’d regained, it was worth it.
“Do you want to buy anything for yourself?”
“No. I don’t lack anything.”
Ren Ningyuan smiled. “Your work briefcase—you should have replaced it long ago.”
“It’s actually still pretty good…”
“I’ll help you change it.”
Qu Tongqiu hurriedly refused. “No, no, no…”
“It’s nothing big. It’s fine.”
As he spoke, Ren Ningyuan turned the wheelchair and pushed him into a men’s shop whose very name made Qu Tongqiu’s heart pound.
This was the kind of store he’d never even approach. There was no need to browse at all. The clerks’ unsmiling faces—so in line with the brand’s spirit—made someone like him, who couldn’t really afford it, feel guilty and timid. Going in was pure suffering.
But this time, with Ren Ningyuan pushing the wheelchair behind him, it was truly borrowing another’s power. Qu Tongqiu received treatment he’d never had in his life. His whole body stiffened; he was so nervous he couldn’t even speak.
Watching the clerk take down the bag Ren Ningyuan pointed to and hand it over for him to inspect, Qu Tongqiu felt even more constrained. He took it and sat in the wheelchair, not daring to move or knowing what to say.
The tall clerk and he faced each other in silence, the atmosphere awkward, until Ren Ningyuan bent down and asked him, “How is it?”
“…Good…”
“Then this one?”
“…Good…”
Ren Ningyuan went to pay, while Qu Tongqiu sat there trembling, drinking tea. Ren Ningyuan stood beside him with a faint smile. Walking out of the store, it almost looked as if Qu Tongqiu were the more distinguished one.
Ren Ningyuan laughed. “How does it feel to be the boss?”
Qu Tongqiu replied with a shaky voice, “…Good… but it suits you better.”
“Switching roles once in a while isn’t a bad thing.”
Qu Tongqiu felt Ren Ningyuan was really treating him far too well.
That night when they returned, both father and daughter were overjoyed. Qu Ke hugged the bag her father bought and ran around the room. Qu Tongqiu couldn’t bear to take the new briefcase Ren Ningyuan had bought him out of its bag, yet he was indescribably excited, unable to resist peeking at it again and again.
He was happy whenever Ren Ningyuan gave him something. It didn’t matter what it was; it always meant some kind of mutual relationship, a sign of their relationship. As long as it came from Ren Ningyuan, it was different.
That night the medicine was changed again. Although he had gone to quite a few places during the day, thanks to Ren Ningyuan he hadn’t had to use any strength at all. He didn’t feel tired, his wound hadn’t worsened, and he felt comfortable like never before.
After the medicine was changed, he massaged Ren Ningyuan. Because of the gratitude and happiness he felt that day, he used extra strength. Ren Ningyuan lay quietly on the bed, smiling, letting him sit astride his waist and pound and knead.
At times like this, he really felt that Ren Ningyuan’s build was excellent. Much of it was natural—without that kind of bone structure, no amount of training could make someone look so good. With a feeling of admiration, he massaged those slightly stiff shoulders, back, arms, and the sides of his waist.
He worked too hard, and soon his hands were sore, but the effect didn’t seem obvious. After one round, Ren Ningyuan gently said, “That’s enough, it’s fine,” but he didn’t seem very relaxed.
Feeling guilty that he couldn’t even do such a small thing well for Ren Ningyuan, Qu Tongqiu decided to risk his life and start again from the beginning. If he didn’t serve Ren Ningyuan until his whole body felt loose and comfortable, he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.
Qu Tongqiu tried hard to knead the man beneath him again, starting from the shoulders and arms. When his hands reached Ren Ningyuan’s waist, he put in extra effort to relax those taut muscles. Suddenly, Ren Ningyuan grabbed his wrist hard, making him shudder.
The contact lasted only an instant. Then the hand was released and withdrawn.
“That’s enough. No need to continue.” Qu Tongqiu was a bit at a loss and withdrew his hands. “Then… should I give you a pounding?”
“You can get down.” Ren Ningyuan’s words were like an imperial edict to him, and he quickly climbed off. He saw Ren Ningyuan sit up against the head of the bed, his face expressionless, eyes lowered, not exactly in a good mood.
“Then… I’ll pour you some water?” He had to do something.
“No need.” Qu Tongqiu sat uneasily at the edge of the bed, watching Ren Ningyuan close his eyes to rest. He didn’t know what had gone wrong. His gaze drifted downward, and he froze. His heart began to pound, and he stammered, “Ren… Ren Ningyuan…”
The prominent bulge beneath Ren Ningyuan’s bathrobe—it was the first time he had ever seen it. He felt surprised, embarrassed, and oddly curious.
Ren Ningyuan frowned slightly, his tone still gentle. “Don’t mind it. Touching a sensitive place can cause this. It’s not your fault.”
Qu Tongqiu answered softly, still inexplicably nervous.
Any healthy man could have a physical reaction, but seeing desire arise in someone like Ren Ningyuan felt unbelievable. He couldn’t help glancing over repeatedly, as if to confirm it again and again.
The man sitting there showed no loss of control, no appearance of being driven by desire. He remained calm, silently waiting for the impulse to subside on its own. That powerful self-control gave him a strange kind of sex appeal. Qu Tongqiu couldn’t help thinking that his boss was truly the most attractive man under heaven.
Ren Ningyuan sat there silently adjusting his breathing. Qu Tongqiu knelt there dumbly as well, staring at him. Somehow his head felt light, his soul almost drifting away.
After a moment of silence, Ren Ningyuan gave a wry smile and placed a hand on his lower abdomen. “I think you should avoid this for a bit.”
Qu Tongqiu hesitated. More unacceptable than “Ren Ningyuan also has needs” was the fact that someone like Ren Ningyuan still had to take care of it himself. Ren Ningyuan had even helped him before—what were these useless massage hands of his even for?
“Ren Ningyuan, o-or else I can…” Volunteering for something like this made him stutter. “Y-you don’t have to dislike it.”
Ren Ningyuan said nothing and showed no expression, which counted as tacit consent. Qu Tongqiu hurriedly rolled up his sleeves, knelt between his legs, and conscientiously served him.
Perhaps because he was too nervous, or because his finger skills weren’t good enough, in any case he didn’t make Ren Ningyuan very comfortable.
His hands were already sore, and after working for a while longer he couldn’t control his strength. Ren Ningyuan’s organ had been handled in his hands for quite some time, yet there was still no release. Qu Tongqiu held it carefully with both hands, trembling, clearly aware that he was incompetent and lacking in skill, gradually not knowing what to do.
He continued awkwardly for a while, then heard Ren Ningyuan say softly, “Forget it.”
Qu Tongqiu broke out in a cold sweat. It was rare for him to do something for Ren Ningyuan, and it ended like this. What he feared most was Ren Ningyuan saying “forget it” to him, no longer expecting him to be of any help.
Seeing Ren Ningyuan reach for the quilt, Qu Tongqiu couldn’t care anymore. He hurriedly leaned down, lowered his head, and opened his mouth to take it in.
There were no thoughts left in his head. He just tried his best to hold it in his mouth. When he had room to breathe, he moved his tongue as hard as he could, trying to give Ren Ningyuan pleasure.
The feeling of being pushed to the back of his throat was uncomfortable, but he could hear Ren Ningyuan’s breathing growing more rapid. As he clumsily used both mouth and hands, his hair was lightly grabbed.
“Mmh…” Ren Ningyuan held his head and thrust a little deeper, choking his breath, then moved inside his mouth.
This way, skill was no longer needed. It was enough for his mouth to endure the hardship.
Ren Ningyuan supported the back of his head, breathing heavily. Qu Tongqiu was extremely nervous. While being worked until he felt miserable and nearly oxygen-starved, he hazily thought that even his usually controlled boss, when losing control, was still full of charm.
When Ren Ningyuan reached his peak and released in his mouth, Qu Tongqiu was still distracted and didn’t react in time. With a gulp, he swallowed everything. His mind went completely blank, and he froze like a wooden chicken.
“Are you okay?”
Qu Tongqiu coughed hard several times but couldn’t cough it out. Flustered, he looked up at the man above him. Ren Ningyuan’s forehead was damp with sweat, and he was looking down at him.
With that eye contact, plus what he had just swallowed, Qu Tongqiu felt dizzy again, his speech clumsy.
“I-it’s fine…”
Ren Ningyuan looked at him for a moment, then gently wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb.
“Thanks for the hard work.”
Qu Tongqiu staggered off to wash his hands and rinse his mouth. Even after washing, he still felt dazed. Thinking back afterward, he felt as if he had been possessed, single-mindedly wanting Ren Ningyuan to feel good, maybe going too far.
Fortunately, Ren Ningyuan didn’t take it too seriously.
In a slightly muddled state, he climbed onto the bed, lay down beside Ren Ningyuan, and pulled the quilt up to sleep. Before falling asleep, Qu Tongqiu thought for a while under the covers. Using his mouth to help another man was usually a kind of humiliation. He himself would never like touching that thing of the same sex, much less putting it in his mouth.
But if the person was Ren Ningyuan, doing those things felt admiring and devout. Once done, it was something worth being happy about.
Ren Ningyuan was different from anyone else. What he gave was kindness that required no return.
He didn’t meet Ren Ningyuan’s standard for making friends, yet Ren Ningyuan was still so good to him. The little things he could do for Ren Ningyuan made him feel happy.
