Chapter 12
The weather was not cold yet, but the man was already wearing a long black coat. The clothes underneath fit close and were neat and refined; his trousers were tucked into riding boots. His skin was very fair, his brows and eyes jet-black, and together with that cold, impatient air of his, he gave Qu Tongqiu goosebumps. In the middle of the night, he somehow made one think of a vampire duke.
“I heard you’re living here. I happened to pass by, so I came to take a look,” Zhuang Wei shot him a glance. “Not welcome?”
Qu Tongqiu hurried to invite him in, squatted down, and took out a pair of indoor slippers for him. After Zhuang Wei entered, he looked around the place with a slightly picky expression and said, “The place isn’t bad. Does Ningyuan charge you rent?”
“Huh? No…”
Zhuang Wei lifted his eyes to look at him. “Oh? So your relationship is already this good.”
“Uh, not really,” Qu Tongqiu said honestly. “Ren Ningyuan is just kind and willing to help. He takes good care of his friends.”
Zhuang Wei gave a noncommittal snort and sat down on the sofa. Qu Tongqiu poured him some water and cut an apple. Seeing that Zhuang Wei looked unhappy, he couldn’t find anything to say for a moment and felt a little awkward.
He could tell that Zhuang Wei was displeased with Ren Ningyuan’s arrangement. In fact, the only reason he could borrow Ren Ningyuan’s place to live was because the timing of his coming to T City happened to coincide with good luck. As for the kind of person Ren Ningyuan truly admired, that would naturally be someone like Zhuang Wei—outstanding both in character and talent.
Now that the visitor had arrived, it felt like a tenant who had taken advantage of the owner suddenly being confronted by the lady of the house. He couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty and restrained.
“You like living here?”
“Yes… it’s quite nice…”
“But no matter what, this is still Ren Ningyuan’s place, isn’t it? Don’t you feel uncomfortable living here?”
Qu Tongqiu felt a little ashamed. “That… yes. I’m just borrowing it for now. I won’t stay long.”
“Have you thought about moving somewhere else?”
“Mm…”
When he said that, Zhuang Wei’s expression immediately looked much better. Qu Tongqiu added some hot water to the cup and then heard Zhuang Wei ask, “There are lots of places to have fun around here. You don’t go out at night?”
“When I get off work, I just stay home and watch TV or DVDs…”
For an office worker who often had to work overtime, coming home alone with no ready-made meals and no one to clean the house, once he finished feeding himself and tidying up, he usually felt too lazy to do anything else besides watching TV and going to sleep. There was no mood at all for seeking pleasure.
“What’s fun about that?”
“Some movies are actually pretty good. Do you want to take a few back to watch?”
The hobbies of a homebody man were things like DVDs and magazines, whether 3D or 2D, and Qu Tongqiu had quite a collection. Big box-office films Zhuang Wei had mostly already seen, but among the movies that never made it to theaters, there were also quite a few worth watching. Seeing that Zhuang Wei didn’t seem opposed, he got up and picked out a few from the shelf.
“These are all pretty good… uh, this one…” Though one or two of the discs even he found unfamiliar at a glance, anything he had collected was worth recommending. “This one should be good too. You can watch it slowly when you have time.”
Zhuang Wei took the discs and looked at him. “Why do you always buy DVDs? Can’t bear to spend money at the cinema?”
“It’s not that. The cinema has better effects, but if you’re watching alone, it’s more convenient at home.”
“So you have no friends.”
“…”
“Seeing how pitiful you are, let’s do this,” Zhuang Wei raised his brows. “A new movie comes out tomorrow night. I happen to be free—let’s go watch one together.”
“Huh?” Qu Tongqiu was both surprised and flattered. “Really? That would be great if you’re free.”
“I’ll book the tickets first. Then we can have dinner outside and go straight over.”
“Sounds good…”
While they were discussing this, there was a faint sound at the door, and then someone pushed it open. A tall man very naturally took slippers from the shoe cabinet and changed into them, then walked calmly into the living room. He looked at the two people on the sofa and smiled.
“Oh, you have a guest.”
Seeing him appear, Qu Tongqiu was delighted and quickly stood up. “Yes, Zhuang Wei happened to be free and came by to take a look. You got off work so late?”
“Mm, I went to the shop today.”
Ren Ningyuan took off his coat and hung it up. After all, it was his own place, and every movement was practiced and relaxed. “Zhuang Wei, you’re free tonight? Why didn’t you go to the shop for a drink? I wanted to introduce Ye Xiutuo to you.”
“I’m not that free either. I was just passing by. We’ll meet another time.”
Zhuang Wei watched him loosen his collar and cuffs, frowned slightly, and asked, “You’re sleeping here tonight?”
“Yes. I have something to take care of around here tomorrow.” Ren Ningyuan opened the wine cabinet and took out a bottle of red wine. “Want some?”
Zhuang Wei’s face stiffened a bit. “No. I’ve already drunk a lot of water since I got here.”
Ren Ningyuan lifted his eyes and smiled at Qu Tongqiu. “Why are you serving plain water to a guest? That’s a bit negligent, isn’t it?”
Qu Tongqiu hurriedly agreed. All the alcohol there was part of Ren Ningyuan’s collection. As a temporary resident, aside from occasionally opening the cabinet to wipe off dust, how would he dare touch it casually?
Hearing Ren Ningyuan say he had been inattentive in hosting, Qu Tongqiu could also sense the obvious undercurrent of ambiguity between the two men. He vaguely felt that perhaps Zhuang Wei wasn’t actually with Chu Mo, and might really become the “lady” of this house.
“By the way, go fill up the bathtub for me.”
“Oh.” Qu Tongqiu quickly went to the bathroom, rinsed the tub again, adjusted the water temperature, and added bath salts. When he came out, he found that only Ren Ningyuan was left in the living room.
“Huh? Where’s Zhuang Wei?”
“He left first.”
“Oh…”
Qu Tongqiu felt there were many things he didn’t know and that it wasn’t appropriate to ask. He could only say, “Zhuang Wei seemed a bit unhappy.”
Ren Ningyuan smiled. “That’s just how he is. The bathrobe is in the cabinet—did you take it out?”
“Ah, just a moment. I’ll get it right away.”
As he helped prepare things for Ren Ningyuan’s bath, he couldn’t help thinking: although Ren Ningyuan said he liked women, if it were a man like Zhuang Wei, the two of them being together didn’t seem impossible. Then he thought of Chu Mo, who had openly pursued Zhuang Wei since their student days, and his mind became a bit tangled.
But after so many years, no matter how complicated things were between those three, only he—the little follower—remained unchanged.
Ren Ningyuan went to shower first. Qu Tongqiu sat in the living room staring blankly at the TV when suddenly the phone rang loudly. It was rare for things to be this busy at night. He picked up the receiver and heard his daughter’s flustered voice shouting, “Dad!”
“Huh? What’s wrong?”
“Dad, did you see something I left at home?”
Qu Tongqiu let out a breath. “What is it? Do you need it urgently?”
“Uh, not urgently, but I borrowed it from a senior… it wouldn’t be good if it got lost…”
“Mm, what is it? Dad will look for it.”
“Uh… it’s nothing important… just a DVD…”
Qu Ke hesitated. “Dad, it’s okay if you can’t find it. Even if you do, don’t open it casually. It’s, um, a limited edition disc, kind of expensive, and it jams players easily. If you just put it into the DVD player and scratch it, that would be terrible…”
Qu Tongqiu soothed her. “Don’t worry. Dad won’t damage your things.”
Only then did his daughter feel relieved and remind him, “The DVD is called Beautiful Heart. Have you seen it? Don’t open it randomly.”
“Oh…” Qu Tongqiu suddenly remembered. “So that was your disc. I just lent it to a friend.”
Qu Ke immediately sucked in a sharp breath.
“Uh… Little Ke? It’s okay, right? That movie isn’t very famous, and the DVD shouldn’t be that hard to buy. If it gets damaged, I’ll buy another one and compensate the person for you, okay?”
Qu Ke seemed to have turned to stone. After a long while, she said shakily, “Dad… I—I’m going to sleep…”
“Alright, Dad will go buy one for you tomorrow.”
“No, no need. My senior just said the disc inside was wrong, it wasn’t that movie at all. It’s nothing valuable—actually it’s trash. If you get it back, just throw it away… pretend I didn’t say anything…”
Qu Tongqiu listened to her babble and hang up the phone, and he more or less understood. It was probably that the little girl had grown up and borrowed something like adult videos.
As the father of a fourteen-year-old girl, he felt rather shaken by this. But thinking it over carefully, kids nowadays matured early, and she was already in university. Expecting her to still think she had been born from under her mother’s arm would be far too naïve. What had to grow up would grow up sooner or later—only from now on, there would be more things to worry about, and that thought made him sigh.
As for Zhuang Wei’s side, there was nothing much to it. A man of his age having one or two AV discs was perfectly normal. Letting Zhuang Wei watch them wasn’t a bad thing either—at least later on, he wouldn’t mock him for “having no needs.”
“Tongqiu, where are my pants?”
Hearing Ren Ningyuan speak from the bathroom, Qu Tongqiu hurriedly replied, “I thought you’d put them on after you came out.”
He had helped prepare the toiletries, but he didn’t have the nerve to rummage through Ren Ningyuan’s underwear.
“The far-left drawer in the wardrobe. Just grab any pair for me.”
Qu Tongqiu quickly went to open that big drawer. Being asked by Ren Ningyuan to handle such intimate personal items made him feel even more trusted, as if he were being valued all the more. A close attendant, after all, was also one of the little follower’s goals to strive toward.
For someone who ran a host club, the underwear drawer was surprisingly fresh and clean—no flashy, showy designs at all. Everything was neat, simple, and tasteful. Then again, Ren Ningyuan didn’t personally go out to work, so there was really no need for him to wear provocative underwear. Thinking this way made Qu Tongqiu feel oddly reassured.
He picked one and went into the bathroom, where he saw Ren Ningyuan leaning back in the tub waiting. The water only reached his chest and was very clear. It was the first time Qu Tongqiu had seen Ren Ningyuan’s bare upper body, and seeing clearly, with his own eyes, the lines of that man’s chest and abdomen, his back couldn’t help but shiver.
He was used to seeing Ren Ningyuan impeccably dressed at all times. Realizing that he, too, had moments of being completely naked gave him a strange sense of novelty. He couldn’t help wanting to look beneath the water, curious yet afraid of offending Ren Ningyuan, so he restrained himself and fixed his gaze above the waterline.
Ren Ningyuan’s physique looked even better than when he was clothed—much like his personality: not ostentatious, restrained and refined, but undeniably impressive.
Qu Tongqiu unconsciously compared their bodies. Driven by a man’s instinctive pride, his gaze kept wanting to drift toward a certain place. Finally, Ren Ningyuan asked him to hand over the towel, preparing to stand up and dry off.
After being curious for so long, the moment finally arrived. Yet when Ren Ningyuan stood up with a splash of water, Qu Tongqiu’s heart suddenly started pounding. He turned his eyes away, not quite daring to look directly.
As if sensing his discomfort, Ren Ningyuan loosely wrapped the towel around his waist. Only after Qu Tongqiu brought over the bathrobe and helped him put it on did he drop the towel and tie the belt. Ren Ningyuan was always considerate of those around him, never making anyone uncomfortable—polite and courteous at all times.
Qu Tongqiu, however, was inexplicably still nervous. His back felt numb as he followed behind him out of the bathroom, somehow even feeling a bit shy.
“So, Ren Ningyuan, how should we sleep tonight? You take this room and I’ll sleep in Little Ke’s room, or…?”
Ren Ningyuan frowned slightly. “Sleeping on Little Ke’s bed—wouldn’t that be strange? She’s grown up already, hasn’t she?”
Qu Tongqiu had always thought his daughter was no different from the toothless little girl she once was, but after the shock of that adult DVD, he had to admit that she might already count as psychologically mature. That being the case, a father—or any other man—sleeping in his daughter’s bed did feel somewhat unsettling. Better to avoid it.
“Then… how about you make do and squeeze in with me?”
“Mm, that’s fine.”
Ren Ningyuan always read for a while before sleeping. Qu Tongqiu leaned against the headboard with him, struggling to follow those dense, almost inscrutable passages. After a few pages, he found them unbearably dull, his eyes growing heavy.
“Um… why do you like reading this kind of book before sleeping?”
Ren Ningyuan smiled at him. “Feeling sleepy?”
“Yes…”
“Isn’t that effect pretty obvious, then?”
It took Qu Tongqiu about a minute to realize that Ren Ningyuan had just made a joke. Flattered, he looked up, but Ren Ningyuan had already returned to his book.
The two were very close, able to hear each other’s breathing, even sense the warmth and faint scent between them. Qu Tongqiu felt very comfortable like this. Suddenly, absurd thoughts crept in—wanting to pounce, maybe tickle him. It would be their first real, tangible contact.
But that would be too much. Ren Ningyuan wasn’t someone he could joke around with recklessly. Lying beside him still meant remaining outside his world.
“Ren Ningyuan, I’m planning to move out after a while.”
“What’s wrong?” Ren Ningyuan frowned slightly and closed his book. “If it’s about rent again, don’t bother. I don’t like polite talk.”
“No, no, I’m not being polite!” Qu Tongqiu always felt tongue-tied with him, precisely because he never knew what Ren Ningyuan liked to hear. “When I first came, I didn’t know anyone. You lent me a place and let me live steadily for so long—that’s more than enough.
“Now Chu Mo and the others are back, and you have lots of friends. This is when the place would be useful. You lend it to me but not to them—it doesn’t really make sense. Wouldn’t that put you in a difficult spot? When we first met, I even said I’d serve you like before, but look at me now—I haven’t helped with anything at all these days. I can’t keep causing you trouble.”
After listening carefully, Ren Ningyuan simply smiled. “If I can lend it to them, why can’t I lend it to you? You really think in a strange way.”
“They’re not the same as me…”
“I don’t lend my place out casually. Stop overthinking it. Just stay.”
Ren Ningyuan was naturally a bit aloof and didn’t like long sentences. He spoke plainly, without excess courtesy. Yet Qu Tongqiu felt his chest grow warm, his face heating up, his heart pounding wildly.
“Boss…”
“Hm?”
“Do you also treat me as a friend? I mean, the same as Chu Mo and the others…”
Ren Ningyuan smiled. “What else did you think?”
Qu Tongqiu’s face flushed bright red, his lips trembling. It was an overwhelming joy, leaving him momentarily speechless.
“B-boss…”
Hearing him, Ren Ningyuan smiled. “Hearing you call me that feels like going back more than ten years.”
After a pause, he added, “It’s a pity you and I aren’t the same anymore.”
Qu Tongqiu was almost in tears. “Boss, I’m the same. I admire you just like before—no matter how many years pass. I’m willing to serve you my whole life…”
Ren Ningyuan smiled lightly. “That won’t be necessary.”
Seeing Qu Tongqiu’s reddened eyes, he didn’t find it laughable. So many years had passed in the blink of an eye—middle-aged melancholy.
“We never really got the chance to spend time together back then. It’s rare that you’ve truly come now. Let’s keep each other company.”
That night, Qu Tongqiu slept close to Ren Ningyuan. Counting it up, it was the fourth time they had slept in the same bed. Thinking of his words—“keep each other company”—and imagining being able to stay with Ren Ningyuan for a long time, he felt both happy and at ease.
He slept dreamlessly and woke feeling exceptionally refreshed and lighthearted. Ren Ningyuan had gotten up earlier and was already in the bathroom. Wearing slippers, Qu Tongqiu wandered over groggily and stood at the door watching. Seeing Ren Ningyuan brush his teeth and wash his face—ordinary actions—somehow made everything look pleasing when he did them.
Seeing Ren Ningyuan attach the razor head and prepare to shave, looking slightly tired, Qu Tongqiu said, “Boss, let me help you shave.”
Ren Ningyuan glanced at him and smiled, handing him the razor. Qu Tongqiu carefully reapplied shaving foam, steadied his face, and cautiously shaved his cheeks and chin. Ren Ningyuan seemed to enjoy it, slightly narrowing his eyes.
When he was done, Ren Ningyuan looked in the mirror and smiled. “Not bad.”
“I’ll shave you every day from now on?”
Ren Ningyuan smiled. “Alright.”
After breakfast, Ren Ningyuan stood up and put on his coat, saying gently, “By the way, I won’t be coming back tonight. I’m going to the U.S. with Chu Mo for a few days.”
“Oh. Have a safe trip. When will you be back?”
Thinking of such a faraway place made Qu Tongqiu feel as if he couldn’t see or touch him.
Fastening his cufflinks, Ren Ningyuan looked at him. “I’m often not in T City. If you have anything to handle, you can ask Ye Xiutuo—it’s the same. I’ll leave his number for you.”
When Ren Ningyuan showed even a hint of expression, he looked very gentle. His dark lashes made one feel warm all over.
“Spend the weekend well with Little Ke.”
The weekend meant two days off, but Fridays often required overtime. By the time Qu Tongqiu finally squeezed onto an even more crowded subway than usual and rushed to the restaurant where he was meeting Zhuang Wei, he could see from afar the man’s figure radiating impatience.
“Sorry, I got off work late,” Qu Tongqiu said breathlessly as he sat down across from him. “Did you get my message about pushing the meeting back half an hour? You didn’t wait too long, did you?”
Zhuang Wei looked like he had been there for a while, but surprisingly didn’t lose his temper. He glanced up at him. “No, I just got here too. Let’s order. What do you want to eat?”
Qu Tongqiu was a little surprised. Zhuang Wei was in quite a good mood today, though his gaze toward him felt strange—glancing at him from time to time. Whenever their eyes met, he would immediately look away, then pretend nothing was wrong.
After hesitating for a moment, Qu Tongqiu knew it was because of that DVD, so he spoke first. “Sorry about that. One of the discs I lent you last time was the wrong one.”
Zhuang Wei coughed and picked up his wine glass. “You watch that kind of thing?”
“Uh, occasionally,” Qu Tongqiu felt he should sound more matter-of-fact, lest he be teased. “There’s nothing strange about it. I’ve been divorced for so long.”
With no girlfriend, of course the only option was adult videos.
Zhuang Wei held his wineglass and looked at him. After a moment, he raised an eyebrow. “No wonder you don’t remarry.”
Qu Tongqiu felt his logic was a bit strange—who decides not to marry just because of watching AV? Not wanting to keep this kind of topic going at the dinner table, he pointed at the menu. “How about beef tongue?”
They were having a mini all-you-can-eat grill. While waiting for the slices of meat and mushrooms to cook through on the wire rack, they brushed on sauce and chatted. Zhuang Wei flipped the steak and asked casually, “So you and Ren Ningyuan are living together now?”
“Huh?” That wording sounded really awkward. “It’s more like sometimes we stay together. I borrowed his place. For work convenience, he comes over occasionally.”
“So it’s not cohabitation?”
Qu Tongqiu smiled as he grilled his king oyster mushrooms. “Of course not. Don’t misunderstand—Ren Ningyuan and I are completely innocent.”
Gays spotting gays—Zhuang Wei probably read into things whenever he saw two men together. He and Ren Ningyuan weren’t like Zhuang Wei and the others. Two grown men talking about cohabitation—what was there to talk about?
Sure enough, Zhuang Wei raised his brows in surprise and brushed several more layers of sauce onto the steak. “Then you’re still single? Not seeing anyone?”
Qu Tongqiu nodded honestly. “Yeah.”
“You’ve got patience.”
“It’s okay.” Life didn’t become impossible just because there was no wife.
Zhuang Wei stopped talking. After a while, he dropped the grilled steak onto Qu Tongqiu’s plate. “This one’s done.”
“Ah, thanks, thanks, I can do it myself.”
“You grill too slow. Clumsy.”
Qu Tongqiu ate several slices of beef grilled by Zhuang Wei, feeling unexpectedly favored. Tonight, Zhuang Wei was unusually friendly—more so than ever since their student days. He couldn’t help wondering if his luck was finally turning.
After dinner, the two walked slowly to a nearby cinema to watch a movie. Zhuang Wei had already bought the tickets. When Qu Tongqiu tried to split the cost, he got shot a glare.
“Popcorn?”
“Okay…”
“Juice or milk tea?”
“Juice…”
Holding the large bucket of popcorn Zhuang Wei bought and walking into the theater felt a little strange—but also very nice. A classmate with whom relations had been cold for years now showed signs of warmth.
If you couldn’t become friends in youth, maybe by middle age you actually fit better. Ren Ningyuan was like that. Zhuang Wei too. Thinking this way, even the popcorn—something only eaten when young—suddenly tasted familiar and good.
By the time the movie ended, it was already late. Zhuang Wei teased him, “You’re not going to go home and sleep at this hour, are you? It’s the weekend—don’t be like an old man.”
His mood was high, he didn’t have to work the next day, and he’d already received a call that his daughter had arrived home safely. There was nothing to worry about. And it had been far too long since he’d had any nightlife. Qu Tongqiu couldn’t think of a reason not to go drink properly.
Following Zhuang Wei to a recommended bar, he found it was quite a large place. On a weekend night it was packed, the atmosphere lively. The drinks were good, the music even better—not ear-splitting, but making the blood and heart stir, his face and body gradually heating up.
The patrons all seemed warm and talkative. Because of the cramped, noisy space, people leaned close to talk, smiling, creating an intimate, friendly atmosphere. Qu Tongqiu felt the remaining awkwardness between him and Zhuang Wei melt away. Sitting close together and chatting, they were just like old friends with deep ties.
They’d already drunk quite a bit of beer at the barbecue. After another round at the bar, Qu Tongqiu began to feel heavy-headed and light-footed. The more so, the more freely he drank—downing alcohol like water, unable to stop.
“Zhuang Wei…”
“What?”
“Why are there so few women here?”
Occasionally he saw some fashionably bold girls, but it still felt different from ordinary bars.
Zhuang Wei glanced at him. “You’ve never been here before? This is Ren Ningyuan’s place.”
Qu Tongqiu swayed for a moment before his brain finally registered: Ren Ningyuan runs a gay bar. He looked up at Zhuang Wei’s face in a daze. His sluggish mind reported back: Zhuang Wei is gay. Zhuang Wei coming to this kind of place is normal. Reassured, he went back to drinking.
“Hey, you’ve had a bit too much, haven’t you?”
“Uh…”
“Let’s go.”
“Mmm…”
“Want to come to my place for a bit?”
“Mmm…”
Once in the car, Qu Tongqiu toppled over and fell asleep quietly. When he came around slightly, he heard Zhuang Wei cursing him. “Why are you so heavy when you’re drunk? Don’t tell me you’ve gained all the weight back just from drinking a couple of glasses?”
Qu Tongqiu lay slumped over Zhuang Wei’s back. His mind was still fairly clear, but he had no strength in his limbs. Luckily, though Zhuang Wei cursed, he didn’t just dump him on the ground. His movements weren’t too rough.
Inside the apartment, Zhuang Wei walked a short distance and put him down. “Heavy as hell.”
Sitting in the bathtub, Qu Tongqiu felt the hard, cool surface under him. Uncomfortable, he let out a low sound and, still drowsy, drifted toward sleep again.
“Don’t sleep. Take a shower first.”
His head felt heavy, his limbs heavy, his whole body weighed down. He half-opened his eyes, squinting at the man in front of him. For some reason, he felt happy, and smiled at him.
“Mmm…”
