Chapter 50
“Three false pregnancies? Dad, do we have any special contraceptive pills? I’ll take them.”
He had already made his wife go through two consecutive false pregnancies. Three strikes—that had to be the limit. There absolutely could not be a next time.
No, no… that wasn’t right. The key issue with his wife’s false pregnancy wasn’t whether he went all the way or not—it was Meng Xueyuan’s sperm-storage sac causing trouble. Even if he only kissed and touched him every day, it still wouldn’t work.
Maybe he should go celibate from now on. Anywhere his fingers could reach, his stamen could too—and that thing didn’t really listen to his brain.
Seeing Lu Xiao’s heavy, resolute expression, Shen Ning could almost tell what he was thinking. “Actually, the human brain is very smart. After being fooled by a false pregnancy the first time, it won’t fall for it the second time. I barely felt anything the last two times—if it weren’t for your dad poking my finger with a needle every day…”
Like checking blood sugar.
To this day, he still didn’t know how Lu Fengge had figured it out—how he managed to catch it every single time.
Lu Xiao wasn’t comforted at all. He glared at Lu Fengge. “Why do you keep pricking my dad’s finger every day? I would never do that.”
Lu Fengge closed his eyes briefly. “It was only twice in total.”
Shen Ning said, “ ‘Every day’ is a rhetorical device.”
Lu Lou finally spoke up for his younger brother. “Dad, you know he’s a love-brained idiot. Don’t use advanced rhetoric—he won’t understand it.”
Shen Ning: “…Alright. Anyway, Yuanyuan’s worst first time is already over. If it weren’t for you—he wouldn’t even have felt anything the second time.”
Lu Xiao felt like he should be exiled to some bitter, freezing land to atone for his sins. But he didn’t want to go on another business trip. Right now, he just wanted to see his wife immediately.
“I’m going to find him.”
“Stop.” Lu Fengge called out to him. “You just got to the southwest, and then you’d have to fly back with him again. What’s the point of wasting time on planes? Go work first. Didn’t you want to swallow up Sea Star Entertainment?”
Lu Fengge knew perfectly well what Lu Xiao had been doing since taking office, and he had tacitly approved of it.
Lu Xiao stopped in his tracks. At such a critical moment—when he and his wife’s big secret was about to be revealed, misunderstandings cleared, hearts laid bare—he still had to work?
His phone chimed. It was a special-follow notification from Weibo—Meng Xueyuan had posted something.
Lu Xiao pulled it out and looked. His wife had reposted his Weibo!
His urge to see his wife grew even stronger.
Lu Xiao said to Lu Fengge, “Since you’re already here, help me go to work.”
Lu Fengge wore a look of outright refusal.
Lu Xiao begged shamelessly, then turned to Shen Ning. “Dad, how about you help me go to work? If that doesn’t work, I’ll ask Grandpa to go to work for me.”
Your grandpa is eighty years old and retired at home, and you still want him to go back to work.
Shen Ning, being soft-hearted, said, “Alright.” Anyway, he’d be the one agreeing, and Lu Fengge would be the one doing the work.
Lu Xiao immediately made a call to arrange a helicopter to wait for him at the airport near Meng Xueyuan’s hometown.
Meng Xueyuan’s hometown was deep in the mountains, surrounded by peaks and winding roads. From the airport, it took three hours by car—but less than an hour by helicopter.
The Ferrari didn’t have much space. The stiff, hardcover marriage certificate stuck out in his trouser pocket, poking him and even bending at the edges.
Lu Xiao had admired it countless times before, but only ever after washing his hands. He’d kept it in pristine condition. He took it out and placed it on the passenger seat, glanced at it, then focused on driving.
The peony was the king of flowers. The Chinese loved peonies, so even the marriage certificate was filled with peony elements—festive and auspicious.
The jujube-red cover bore the solemn national emblem. Open it, and above the wedding photo was a symmetrical peony anti-counterfeit engraving printed in spot-color ink.
On the inside cover was a full, round cluster of pink peonies.
Below it was their marriage certificate number—one certificate, one number, no duplicates—shimmering brilliantly under fluorescent light.
Lu Xiao privately thought the craftsmanship and design were the pinnacle of human art.
Could you really blame him for cherishing it? Even the marriage certificate looked like their love.
Whoever invented marriage registration was his benefactor.
How could Meng Xueyuan even think about tearing it up?
Wait—if he brought it to the southwest and Meng Xueyuan saw it, would he think about tearing it again?
Lu Xiao hesitated, then left it in the car when he got out.
The moment the car door closed, he suddenly opened it again, picked up the marriage certificate, patted off nonexistent dust lovingly, and tucked it into the inner pocket of his suit jacket.
What if someone stole his car? A Ferrari could be replaced.
The marriage certificate couldn’t. It was a limited edition.
A replacement wouldn’t look like this.
Two years ago, marriage certificates nationwide had been updated. The wording “According to the “Marriage Law” was changed to “ Civil Code.”
Before posting the photo, Lu Xiao had checked the new version. The marriage certificate was so censored that even the civil affairs bureau wouldn’t recognize it—basically only the glaring red cover was visible. Anyone who didn’t know better would think the Lu family ran a leather factory in Jiangnan.
Meanwhile, Meng Xueyuan was surrounded by relatives he hadn’t seen in a long time, being fussed over with concern.
The great wedding flight was done—don’t overwork yourself, Queen Bee!
“Not tired, not tired.” Meng Xueyuan waved his hands, cheeks warm. Ever since Lu Xiao found out about his false pregnancy, he’d eaten plenty of vinegar, stretching his hand far enough to delay Meng Xueyuan’s work schedule by half a month.
Of course, the price was losing some cameo roles and commercial gigs. But since none of them were big male-lead productions, and the breach-of-contract fees were paid sincerely, it wasn’t a big deal.
When Meng Xueyuan went to the bathroom, he finally dared to take out his phone and repost Lu Xiao’s marriage certificate photo, adding the caption: [Licensed and operating].
There were too many people around—he was too embarrassed to open it right away.
Even though the worker bees were already used to Lu Xiao’s antics.
Thick-skinned, Meng Xueyuan clicked in to take a closer look. Fans were tearfully congratulating him on his newlywed bliss. He felt a bit guilty—they’d been legally married for over two years already.
After registering, Lu Xiao had found an excuse to take Meng Xueyuan’s certificate away. He himself hadn’t really looked at it carefully either.
So this was what it looked like. So the patterns were this beautiful.
Even though Lu Xiao still hadn’t reformed, Meng Xueyuan decided to forgive him in his heart.
On the surface, though, he’d still scare him a little.
After looking at the marriage certificate, he scrolled through the comments.
[So perfunctory—just a repost, that’s it.]
[No, directly reposting Lu Xiao’s blurry, eye-burning nine-grid photo is true love.]
[Honestly, our company doesn’t even shoot sample photos for the civil affairs bureau this carefully.]
[The commenter above… marriage certificates are printed by the mint. I don’t dare imagine how much RMB you touch every day.]
[What do you mean “just a repost”? Didn’t he add four characters?]
[From now on, CP in the entertainment industry must show a business license! My taste is picky now—I don’t eat fake stuff!]
For a moment, #ShouldCPFakingShowABusinessLicense also shot up the trending list.
[Congrats, Yuanyuan. Singles with non-local household registration can’t buy property in Nan Cheng—but married people can.]
[Such a pragmatic fan. I suspect you just want to know where he’ll buy a house so you can camp there. After all, in the past two years, Meng Xueyuan has changed rentals several times and the paparazzi never caught him.]
[Case solved—you registered just to buy a house.]
Meng Xueyuan blinked. Now that he was married, he wouldn’t be dragged around by solo stans anymore.
o(???)o
The aunties wrapped zongzi overnight; the uncles scooped fresh honey… The big family rarely gathered, bustling with activity. Some things couldn’t go on a plane, so they were shipped ahead.
“These triangular ones are candied-date zongzi—you like sweet. These straight ones are peanut, salted egg yolk, and pork filling—take them back and share with your coworkers.”
Every worker bee who labored away from home got a share—huge portions.
Meng Xueyuan was stunned by the clusters of zongzi hanging on bamboo poles to dry.
Feeling hungry, he unwrapped a candied-date zongzi and took out the small honey bottle he always carried, squeezing a bit of locust-flower honey over it.
It might be too sweet for ordinary people, but it was just right for him.
Honey glistened on his lips as he thought about how to explain to Lu Xiao that he was a little honeybee.
Lu Xiao had probably already guessed, right?
They’d be able to meet that evening.
Seeing Meng Xueyuan sitting obediently under the bamboo poles eating zongzi—white shirt, black pants, like a cute panda eating bamboo—the relatives felt even more affection for him. But pandas weren’t this skinny. They urged him to stay another night.
“The city’s water quality isn’t good, and neither is the air. Look how thin you’ve gotten. Stay one more night.”
Meng Xueyuan hesitated slightly. He didn’t have anything scheduled next, so staying another night was fine—but what about Lu Xiao…
At that moment, his phone rang in his pocket. It was the director of Harmony of Marriage.
The director got straight to the point. “I recently picked up a farming variety show. One guest had something come up and can’t make it. Do you want to try one episode?”
The dating variety show Meng Xueyuan had joined had exploded in popularity. The next episode’s guest lineup wasn’t as star-studded, and the conflicts weren’t as strong. Because the show had gone viral, two resource-backed couples—actually already living separate lives—had been stuffed in. Their backing wasn’t even as strong as Lu Xiao’s, yet they acted arrogant every day.
The show got criticized, and the producer still forced the director to film their ‘deep love.’
He was filming variety shows, not romance movies! Was he supposed to painstakingly carve out loving gazes for each of them?
After tasting something good, the director quit outright and was poached by another platform to helm a farming variety show. He wanted to build the most handsome farming squad on earth.
This farming show didn’t play pretend—it was fully livestreamed, no stand-ins working for them. It was split into two parts: the first half was primitive smallholder farming—sickles, hoes, yellow oxen; the second half was modern agriculture—machine harvesting, drones spraying pesticides.
By contrasting the two, it would show the evolution of agriculture and the hardships farmers endured. Even in modern times, agriculture was still at the mercy of the weather. Once extreme weather struck, farmers could lose everything.
The director rambled on about his vision. Meng Xueyuan, who had originally planned to refuse, found himself listening intently.
Before this generation of educated worker bees grew up and went to work, Baihua Village had been extremely poor. All the houses were equally dilapidated; no one rebuilt. It had once been listed as a poverty-stricken village.
First, the villagers engaged in traditional labor, often rendered helpless by the weather. Second, clan property was shared—one family poor meant the whole village poor.
As the saying went, one person walks fast, a group walks far. In any village, there were rich and poor. The rich caught opportunities and grew richer; the poor suffered misfortune upon misfortune. But Baihua Village didn’t have that divide. If an elderly person living alone fell ill, everyone pooled money to send them to a city hospital. Even with insurance, their accumulated wealth would be quickly depleted.
When Meng Xueyuan and Lin Xilan were kids, after school they still had to do farm work. He wasn’t unfamiliar with farming—on the contrary, he was very familiar with it.
They had stayed united to this day, never abandoning anyone, believing that as a group, they would go farther and farther.
The director said, “The show’s already aired one episode, but the next one is empty. I only invite artists who can actually work—no useless ones—but there still aren’t many entertainers willing to tan in the sun and farm. I saw you had an opening. Honestly, the first person I thought of was Lu Xiao, but he retired.”
Meng Xueyuan said, “Why do you think I can farm?” In Harmony of Marriage, Lu Xiao hadn’t let him do any work at all.
The director replied, “Because when I was researching, I accidentally saw your graduation thesis.”
Meng Xueyuan had majored in meteorology. In the acknowledgments of his thesis, he had seriously written about why he chose the major, recalling the hardships of his people farming and the huge losses caused by weather.
The director knew exactly how to persuade him. “Even though you’re in entertainment now, I believe the original intention you had when choosing your major hasn’t changed. You also privately donated a lot to agricultural disaster relief foundations. Our show also supports agriculture—the ads are investor profit-sharing, but the livestream revenue will be donated.”
Meng Xueyuan turned to look at the relatives repairing a wooden plow. It was August—the second rice crop was about to be planted. How the harvest would turn out was still unknown.
He had always hoped that he could do something, within his abilities, even while in the entertainment industry.
Compared to indoor studio shoots and flashing lights, as a member of the bee clan, he actually preferred the outdoors—nature, sunshine.
The opportunity had come, perfectly suited to him.
As for the false pregnancy—it was fine. Take some medicine and the symptoms would disappear quickly.
“Alright. I agree.”
Besides, the pay wasn’t low—the director wouldn’t dare invite him otherwise. Lu Xiao had pushed back some of his work; perhaps it was to make room for this variety show.
A helicopter suddenly appeared in the sky. Faintly visible, it made Meng Xueyuan’s heart jump. He said to the director, “Contact my manager. As for this contract—if Lu Xiao asks, it’s already signed, got it?”
The director instantly understood. “Got it.”
Meng Xueyuan acted first and reported later, lowering his head to take a bite of his candied-date zongzi.
Then he watched as the helicopter lowered its ladder and approached the ground. Because a new house was being built, a large area of land had been leveled—perfect as a landing spot.
The helicopter roared, circled, and flew off, drawing the attention of all the relatives, who looked up one after another.
Lu Xiao grabbed the ladder and jumped down in just a few steps.
“Wow! It’s Lu Xiao! I knew he couldn’t possibly not come in person!”
“A helicopter! So cool!”
Lu Xiao scanned the area and precisely located Meng Xueyuan hiding beneath the zongzi, then walked over.
“I’m sorry for acting first, but I was going crazy not being able to see you.”
Meng Xueyuan replied very agreeably, “It’s okay. I also acted first and accepted a farming variety show. We’re even.”
Lu Xiao was struck by lightning. “Is it the one where you farm eight hours a day?”
As president of Lu Group’s entertainment division, he had seen that show approach him for investment. He’d invested a bit—but never expected Meng Xueyuan to join.
Meng Xueyuan nodded.
Lu Xiao panicked. “But you’re in a false pregnancy, and I’ve retired. I can’t even accompany you.”
Meng Xueyuan lifted his chin. “I can handle it on my own. Don’t underestimate someone with Queen Bee bloodline.”
His stamina was actually very good—otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to handle Lu Xiao.
Lu Xiao’s attention was caught again by the words “Queen Bee.” He crouched down and touched Meng Xueyuan’s lower abdomen. “So you really are the Queen Bee… Honey, my dad just told me—our family actually has a peony spiritual vein. I’m sorry.”
Meng Xueyuan said, “Then you know my false pregnancy is because…” He felt embarrassed to say the name of that structure.
Lu Xiao said, “I looked it up. I know. The Queen Bee is the biggest bee—super cute.”
Meng Xueyuan curled his lips. Both of them were smart; it was great not having to explain a lot. “No wonder you’re so popular with bees.”
Lu Xiao paused. Hadn’t Meng Xueyuan said that a long time ago? When he’d been stung by bees—Meng Xueyuan had said he attracted bees.
Turns out Meng Xueyuan had always been that bold—bold to say, bold to do.
Lu Xiao immediately lost any grounds to oppose Meng Xueyuan joining the farming show. He swallowed the words he shouldn’t say and only added, “I’m afraid this time it might be a real pregnancy.”
Meng Xueyuan said, “It’s fake. The clan doctor already checked me.”
Lu Xiao said, “There’s even a doctor? Then can we invite him to station with the show?”
Meng Xueyuan pointed to an old man over there who could still split firewood at seventy. “No. He doesn’t want to leave the village.”
Lu Xiao glanced over and realized everyone was working while watching him, not slowing down at all, and not coming over to interrupt their reunion.
Truly a diligent bee clan—labor everywhere. Except for two people.
Under the shade of a tree not far away, two lounge chairs lay side by side, with two young men sprawled lazily, herding sheep—completely out of place.
Could those be drones? Lu Xiao wanted to say something but stopped.
Meng Xueyuan forcefully took the marriage certificate out of Lu Xiao’s pocket. Lu Xiao dared to be angry but not to speak.
“Say it straight. Keep bottling it up and we’re divorcing.”
Lu Xiao immediately said, “I’m guilty. I’m jealous of the drones.”
Meng Xueyuan said, “…Do you know why it’s called a nuptial flight instead of mating inside the hive? Because you need to acquire diverse external genes.”
He didn’t mate with drones from his own clan. And as for drones outside… sorry, in all the world, only this one hive had spiritual energy.
Lu Xiao said, “Honey, you’re amazing. You’re a true king. Thank you for choosing me.”
Meng Xueyuan was pleased by the praise. “You’re the most beautiful flower king too.”
Lu Xiao pressed his lips together. At this point, there was absolutely no way he’d let Meng Xueyuan go farming alone. Not only was the physical labor demanding, but what if the other participants competed over farming hours? Follow suit? Even in the Lu Group headquarters, there were plenty of overtime warriors who never left on time—Lu Xiao had seen far too many.
Lu Xiao said, “I’m going to the bathroom.”
Meng Xueyuan said, “Over there.”
Lu Xiao went into the restroom and directly called the director. “Your farming show aims to showcase how hard farming is, right?”
The director trembled. Sure enough—Lu Xiao was here to settle accounts. He stiffened his neck and said, “We’ve already signed the contract.”
Lu Xiao said, “Doesn’t your farming show invite ordinary people?”
The director said, “Or–ordinary people?”
Lu Xiao said, “Me.”
The director was struck by a falling pie, utterly incredulous. “…We did plan to. B–but do you count as an ordinary person?”
Lu Xiao said, “If not, that’s fine. But if you want to show how hard farming is, why invite only artists? Why not spend big money inviting office-bound urban white-collar workers?”
The director was so excited he stuttered. “…U–urban white-collar workers?”
Lu Xiao said, “Me.”
Seeing the director fall silent, Lu Xiao snapped, “Taking ten thousand steps back—shouldn’t capitalists go farm too?”
